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You knew it.
You should never have turned left at that crossroads and blindly followed the directions of that fucking GPS. Now you’re crawling along that road – but can it even be called a road? Trail would be more appropriate – while the headlights of your car fail to pierce the dense fog that swathes everything ahead in its grey and smothering embrace.
You stop in the middle of the road and direct your attention to the smartphone that you’ve abandoned on the passenger seat. The screen has gone black. Yet another ominous portent. Feverishly, you grasp it with your right hand, click on the power button, but all that appears is a dumb icon betraying the battery’s demise. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! You’re done for. Your USB charger doesn’t even hitch into the car’s 12V outlet. Game over, you’re lost, and your only tie to the civilised world just gave up on you. In a fit, you toss the phone aside; it rebounds on the seat and flops on to the floor.
What should you do? Go back? Since that kiss-of-death turn, you recall passing several junctions, where other roads came from both left and right. If you drive back, which one should you take? There’s no way to know. No, the best solution is to carry on, hoping that sooner or later you’ll either encounter a bigger road or a house whose owner could help you out of this fix.
You shoot a glance at the fuel gauge. Fortunately, your tank is still quarter-full, so you can go on driving for hours before running out of gas. Mildly reassured, you engage the clutch and bump along the road, where patches of old, dilapidated tarmac alternate with crude, rocky, uneven stretches of raw earth. All around you, the fog builds an impenetrable wall of woolly darkness which blocks both light and sound. Even the onboard radio has given up blaring anything but hiss.
One hour later, you’re still driving along that improbable path. You’re miles ahead now, and have encountered nothing. No house, no oncoming car, not even the fleeting form of a skittish hare. If limbo exists, you’re certainly in the heart of it. It occurs to you that you may be the only living being in a thousand mile radius…
But at that very moment, the fog suddenly clears, and your car tilts slightly up. The road curves and starts to rise, heading to the top of a rocky mound you hadn’t noticed before because of the murkiness. Beyond the ridge, for the first time, you see the night sky, studded with stars. That sudden change perks you up, and with a surge of optimism you trample the throttle, eager to discover what lies behind the crest.
You’re about to reach it when the headlights unexpectedly flicker and die, while the engine lurches and cuts out. Upset and puzzled, you look at the gauge, which stubbornly stands by its former judgment: quarter-full. You jerk the ignition key, once, twice. Nothing. Silence. Not even the rattle of the starter. Yet, the dashboard is alive, so the battery has not failed. What’s going on?
You grasp the torch you store in the glove compartment, set the parking brake, fling the door open and step outside. A bitter cold pounces on you, and you shudder. You are about to switch the torch on when you realise that a dim, eerie glow bathes the ridge, as if something very bright was shining on the other side. Maybe it’s a house? Maybe you’ve finally reached the end of that stupid road, and you’re about to find a village where someone at last will tell you where you’re stranded?
You shuffle up. Your feet crunch on the ground, and you realise the path is covered in a very thin layer of rime. Midways, the beam of your torch picks up an ancient, rundown wooden sign, as those once used to mark the entrances of isolated villages. Curious, you sweep it, and barely make out some letters: w, t, f. The others, illegible, have been weathered away.
Intrigued by this discovery, you stride to the hilltop. Arrived there you freeze, flabbergasted.
In front of you, in the middle of a vast expense of turf that reaches as far as the eye can see, a strange metallic vessel rests, bright coloured light oozing out of all its portholes. A small gangway spans the gap between its bottom and the ground, where a score of people sit, each one in front of a laptop computer, deeply engrossed in an activity you cannot guess. They don’t even look up at you, oblivious to your presence.
You shake your head and blink a few times, to make sure what you behold is real.
It is, undeniably.
You are about to yell something, if only to attract the attention of that strange crowd, when from inside the ship a tall shape silently walks down the gangway and towards you. In the glaring backdrop you cannot see its face, only its silhouette: scraggy and rangy. It appears to wear something on its head, something tall and metallic than glimmers in the twilight. Maybe a pschent?
It is only a few steps away when it stops. It bends his arm and waves his hand, in what you interpret as a sign of peace, and you notice how its pinkie balks at joining its other fingers, as if it was phoney. You venture a feeble “Hello?”. To which the stranger, in a strong Australian accent, tersely replies: “Hi! My name’s Roger Dodger. Wanna write?”
(Edited by Quill Scratch. Thanks ❤️)
You should never have turned left at that crossroads and blindly followed the directions of that fucking GPS. Now you’re crawling along that road – but can it even be called a road? Trail would be more appropriate – while the headlights of your car fail to pierce the dense fog that swathes everything ahead in its grey and smothering embrace.
You stop in the middle of the road and direct your attention to the smartphone that you’ve abandoned on the passenger seat. The screen has gone black. Yet another ominous portent. Feverishly, you grasp it with your right hand, click on the power button, but all that appears is a dumb icon betraying the battery’s demise. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! You’re done for. Your USB charger doesn’t even hitch into the car’s 12V outlet. Game over, you’re lost, and your only tie to the civilised world just gave up on you. In a fit, you toss the phone aside; it rebounds on the seat and flops on to the floor.
What should you do? Go back? Since that kiss-of-death turn, you recall passing several junctions, where other roads came from both left and right. If you drive back, which one should you take? There’s no way to know. No, the best solution is to carry on, hoping that sooner or later you’ll either encounter a bigger road or a house whose owner could help you out of this fix.
You shoot a glance at the fuel gauge. Fortunately, your tank is still quarter-full, so you can go on driving for hours before running out of gas. Mildly reassured, you engage the clutch and bump along the road, where patches of old, dilapidated tarmac alternate with crude, rocky, uneven stretches of raw earth. All around you, the fog builds an impenetrable wall of woolly darkness which blocks both light and sound. Even the onboard radio has given up blaring anything but hiss.
❦
One hour later, you’re still driving along that improbable path. You’re miles ahead now, and have encountered nothing. No house, no oncoming car, not even the fleeting form of a skittish hare. If limbo exists, you’re certainly in the heart of it. It occurs to you that you may be the only living being in a thousand mile radius…
But at that very moment, the fog suddenly clears, and your car tilts slightly up. The road curves and starts to rise, heading to the top of a rocky mound you hadn’t noticed before because of the murkiness. Beyond the ridge, for the first time, you see the night sky, studded with stars. That sudden change perks you up, and with a surge of optimism you trample the throttle, eager to discover what lies behind the crest.
You’re about to reach it when the headlights unexpectedly flicker and die, while the engine lurches and cuts out. Upset and puzzled, you look at the gauge, which stubbornly stands by its former judgment: quarter-full. You jerk the ignition key, once, twice. Nothing. Silence. Not even the rattle of the starter. Yet, the dashboard is alive, so the battery has not failed. What’s going on?
You grasp the torch you store in the glove compartment, set the parking brake, fling the door open and step outside. A bitter cold pounces on you, and you shudder. You are about to switch the torch on when you realise that a dim, eerie glow bathes the ridge, as if something very bright was shining on the other side. Maybe it’s a house? Maybe you’ve finally reached the end of that stupid road, and you’re about to find a village where someone at last will tell you where you’re stranded?
You shuffle up. Your feet crunch on the ground, and you realise the path is covered in a very thin layer of rime. Midways, the beam of your torch picks up an ancient, rundown wooden sign, as those once used to mark the entrances of isolated villages. Curious, you sweep it, and barely make out some letters: w, t, f. The others, illegible, have been weathered away.
Intrigued by this discovery, you stride to the hilltop. Arrived there you freeze, flabbergasted.
In front of you, in the middle of a vast expense of turf that reaches as far as the eye can see, a strange metallic vessel rests, bright coloured light oozing out of all its portholes. A small gangway spans the gap between its bottom and the ground, where a score of people sit, each one in front of a laptop computer, deeply engrossed in an activity you cannot guess. They don’t even look up at you, oblivious to your presence.
You shake your head and blink a few times, to make sure what you behold is real.
It is, undeniably.
You are about to yell something, if only to attract the attention of that strange crowd, when from inside the ship a tall shape silently walks down the gangway and towards you. In the glaring backdrop you cannot see its face, only its silhouette: scraggy and rangy. It appears to wear something on its head, something tall and metallic than glimmers in the twilight. Maybe a pschent?
It is only a few steps away when it stops. It bends his arm and waves his hand, in what you interpret as a sign of peace, and you notice how its pinkie balks at joining its other fingers, as if it was phoney. You venture a feeble “Hello?”. To which the stranger, in a strong Australian accent, tersely replies: “Hi! My name’s Roger Dodger. Wanna write?”
(Edited by Quill Scratch. Thanks ❤️)
“Picture, if you will, a vast dimension that lies beyond the sight and sense of man. A realm of pure thought where any possibility can materialize. A realm beyond all physicality, yet pervaded with the damp and persistent odor of old musty socks. We’ve entered a world of concepts unrealized, of laundry disquieting… and have just crossed over into Starlight Glimmer’s bedroom closet Zone.”
You're sitting at the computert.You're totally alone and your imagination is shot. Then out of the corner of the internet you see it...
Fim fic Writeoff
It kindles something, deep in your mind. It taunts you with promise. The waiting begins...
Fim Fic Writeoff
You submit a prompt and hope it'll win, then you go to vote, there are all sorts of prompts, my god there are prompts every where!
Writing full of strife!
Fim fic writeoff
Ignoring your wife
fim fic writeoff
Running short on submission time
Television fan story Fim Fic Writeoff
Tiny pony story
Fim Fic Writeoff
Don't reveal who you are
fim fic writeoff
Vote for the star
fim fic writeoff
Crazy minific contest Fim Fic write off
... That's all I got... I'll see myself out.
Fim fic Writeoff
It kindles something, deep in your mind. It taunts you with promise. The waiting begins...
Fim Fic Writeoff
You submit a prompt and hope it'll win, then you go to vote, there are all sorts of prompts, my god there are prompts every where!
Writing full of strife!
Fim fic writeoff
Ignoring your wife
fim fic writeoff
Running short on submission time
Television fan story Fim Fic Writeoff
Tiny pony story
Fim Fic Writeoff
Don't reveal who you are
fim fic writeoff
Vote for the star
fim fic writeoff
Crazy minific contest Fim Fic write off
... That's all I got... I'll see myself out.
>>Morning Sun
This would've been my new favourite prompt. xD
But for now, that title goes to "Something Coffee_Minion can read to his kids" :D
This would've been my new favourite prompt. xD
But for now, that title goes to "Something Coffee_Minion can read to his kids" :D
I am both amused and bemused by the fact that one of the submitted prompts is literally just [Memes].
There's a lot of interesting ideas here though. :O Can't wait to see what I'll be panicking over in less than twenty hours, haha
There's a lot of interesting ideas here though. :O Can't wait to see what I'll be panicking over in less than twenty hours, haha
What's the spoiler policy on writing about characters that haven't been introduced in canon yet?
I mostly wanna know if it's okay to write about characters that'll be in the MLP Movie (Link contains movie character spoilers).
I mostly wanna know if it's okay to write about characters that'll be in the MLP Movie (Link contains movie character spoilers).
>>shinygiratinaz
As an experiment, I forced myself to come up with at least one story idea for each prompt. Even if the prompt was a troll prompt or the story idea was completely inane, I persisted until I had one for each.
I found the mental exercise to be quite fruitful, as among the silly ones are several that are very promising and which I may use elsewhere even if the related prompt is not selected.
As an experiment, I forced myself to come up with at least one story idea for each prompt. Even if the prompt was a troll prompt or the story idea was completely inane, I persisted until I had one for each.
I found the mental exercise to be quite fruitful, as among the silly ones are several that are very promising and which I may use elsewhere even if the related prompt is not selected.
>>Chinchillax
As long as it's pony related it works. They had one story that was about two farm ponies waiting for the sun to begin to rise and worried about it not rising now that Luna was back. So, it's fairly broad. It just can't have nothing to do with my little pony or equestria girls as far as I can tell.
As long as it's pony related it works. They had one story that was about two farm ponies waiting for the sun to begin to rise and worried about it not rising now that Luna was back. So, it's fairly broad. It just can't have nothing to do with my little pony or equestria girls as far as I can tell.
>>GroaningGreyAgony
I'm really curious what you came up for with [Memes], Random Pretentious-Sounding Phrase, and Pick a Random Conversation Heart and Use It as Your Prompt, because I have no idea what I'd even start to write for those or what exactly a conversation heart is.
I'm really curious what you came up for with [Memes], Random Pretentious-Sounding Phrase, and Pick a Random Conversation Heart and Use It as Your Prompt, because I have no idea what I'd even start to write for those or what exactly a conversation heart is.
>>CoffeeMinion I will neither confirm nor deny.
But, incidentally, I didn't see the Gabby episode from season six until long after I read Petunia and the Silly Fish, and I had no idea that Petunia was an actual character from the show.
When I was it, I was like "huh. CoffeeDad didn't make her up. How about that."
But, incidentally, I didn't see the Gabby episode from season six until long after I read Petunia and the Silly Fish, and I had no idea that Petunia was an actual character from the show.
When I was it, I was like "huh. CoffeeDad didn't make her up. How about that."
>>shinygiratinaz
I am likely to post selections from my list after story submission is over.
I am likely to post selections from my list after story submission is over.
And people seem to enjoy it when I do a prompt mashup, so here’s one for this round:
The Haze Fan Club: The Lamest Story Never Told! Something Coffee_Minion can read to his kids. Red and Black Gourdspatter, Random Pretentious-Sounding Phrase, And Then, Things Got Worse…
[Memes]
You Have to the Count of Five; Pick a Random Conversation Heart and Use It as Your Prompt.
Ponies Behaving Badly While the Princesses Sleep. Changing of the Guard. All Work and no Play; Praise the Sun!
An Early Spring, Kicking the Habit. We’re Not Gonna Take It Under The Surface. That’s supposed to happen. Best of Both Worlds.
Who Do You Think You Are? An Oddity, Stolen Identity, Your Hidden Side. Sequels Are Never as Good as the Original.
A Glass Case of EMOTION – Don’t Touch That! That’s What Forever Means! The World At Times May Veil Its Blessings.
The Unwelcoming Children of the Night Flying High, Somewhat Off the Mark. The Mare, The Myth, The Legend. It Wasn’t a Dream. She Really Is Calling Me to Go to the Lake. The Twilight Zone Fairy Tale; An Acquired Taste.
Take a Long Walk. I Didn’t Look Back at the Wreckage. Let the Guards Find It. A Night To Remember, Miracle of Love–And Then There Were None.
The Haze Fan Club: The Lamest Story Never Told! Something Coffee_Minion can read to his kids. Red and Black Gourdspatter, Random Pretentious-Sounding Phrase, And Then, Things Got Worse…
[Memes]
You Have to the Count of Five; Pick a Random Conversation Heart and Use It as Your Prompt.
Ponies Behaving Badly While the Princesses Sleep. Changing of the Guard. All Work and no Play; Praise the Sun!
An Early Spring, Kicking the Habit. We’re Not Gonna Take It Under The Surface. That’s supposed to happen. Best of Both Worlds.
Who Do You Think You Are? An Oddity, Stolen Identity, Your Hidden Side. Sequels Are Never as Good as the Original.
A Glass Case of EMOTION – Don’t Touch That! That’s What Forever Means! The World At Times May Veil Its Blessings.
The Unwelcoming Children of the Night Flying High, Somewhat Off the Mark. The Mare, The Myth, The Legend. It Wasn’t a Dream. She Really Is Calling Me to Go to the Lake. The Twilight Zone Fairy Tale; An Acquired Taste.
Take a Long Walk. I Didn’t Look Back at the Wreckage. Let the Guards Find It. A Night To Remember, Miracle of Love–And Then There Were None.
>>Chinchillax
I doubt anyone will be tremendously peeved about spoilers, but remember that a lot of readers probably aren't gonna know who they are.
I doubt anyone will be tremendously peeved about spoilers, but remember that a lot of readers probably aren't gonna know who they are.
Curses, my plan to wake up before the family and do some early writing has been foiled.
Great prompt, though. Go team!
Great prompt, though. Go team!
>>Chinchillax
Um. I'll be frank, personally I'd rather not be spoiled at all. To everyone else who would have the same question: If your story includes spoiler characters, then I'd appreciate a warning at the beginning, even a single word "SPOILERS" if you don't want to cut into the word limit too much. (EDIT removed glitched duplicate text)
Um. I'll be frank, personally I'd rather not be spoiled at all. To everyone else who would have the same question: If your story includes spoiler characters, then I'd appreciate a warning at the beginning, even a single word "SPOILERS" if you don't want to cut into the word limit too much. (EDIT removed glitched duplicate text)
arg, i think the above comment looks screwed up. Sorry, I'm on an old phone and cannot use the site properly right now, can't even edit posts.
Well, this sounds like an interesting prompt. Alas, I will be unable to participate this round, as my day will be spent visiting the Arizona memorial in the rain and flying between islands. Even if I could find an hour or two to write, I have no computer.... and trying to write even a minific on a kindle or cellphone sounds like an exercise in frustration. :/
Well, my first idea fell through, but my backup turned out rather nicely. At least, I think so. We'll see how it goes.
Huh. I think this is the first time that a prompt has been talked up in the thread and still managed to win anyway. Time to see whether everyone writes weird creepy AUs or not.
As for me, I'll have to get a story or two out later — after a full day of Wilderness First Aid training, plus a nap to replace the all-nighter I had to pull to deal with a compromised server. :-/
… Or maybe I should write before the nap. Sleep deprivation might make for interesting stories.
As for me, I'll have to get a story or two out later — after a full day of Wilderness First Aid training, plus a nap to replace the all-nighter I had to pull to deal with a compromised server. :-/
… Or maybe I should write before the nap. Sleep deprivation might make for interesting stories.
I have some great ideas, but I'm distracted by pain-relieving drugs today, and I'm still on a tear with Twilight's Secret Journal (I recently published over 22,000 words in less than a week) and I'm enjoying working on it too much to write anything else.
I was hoping to enter this and make it my first write-off. Unfortunately, my attempt is already over the word limit.
>>Nodqfan
Nothing wrong with that. Keep a copy of the original, then take a copy and cut it down to size!
Nothing wrong with that. Keep a copy of the original, then take a copy and cut it down to size!
I actually just spent the evening (as in, more than 45 distractable minutes; hours in fact!) writing something. And stayed up later than I should have to finish it. It's literally been months since I've done that, and definitely over a year since I've been immersed completely in writing.
I'd forgotten how it feels. It feels good! Definitely errors in my entry, but eh, I'll take it. :)
I'd forgotten how it feels. It feels good! Definitely errors in my entry, but eh, I'll take it. :)
I swear, these minific rounds are the hardest. Twenty minutes brainstorming, forty minutes writing, then two hours editing down to size.
But... first entry done. Headed to board game night, but should be able to maybe get a second entry in between midnight and the deadline.
But... first entry done. Headed to board game night, but should be able to maybe get a second entry in between midnight and the deadline.
Post by
Nodqfan
, deleted
I got one in.
The night is youngand so am I.
It's on like Donkey Kong.
EDIT: OK, it's 1 hour later and I'm still sitting here looking goofy and feeling overconfident. **ABORT** **ABORT** **SLEEP MODE ENGAGE**
The night is young
It's on like Donkey Kong.
EDIT: OK, it's 1 hour later and I'm still sitting here looking goofy and feeling overconfident. **ABORT** **ABORT** **SLEEP MODE ENGAGE**
I have submitted a story of great emotional depth which certainly will not only win all the awards, but also will be forwarded to the Nobel Prize committee for immediate acclaim, and the Literature prize will soon be mine.
Buhahahahaha...
Just kidding. I put in two stories, both of which I'm pretty happy with. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say one at the 50% mark and one at around the 20% for final scores.
Buhahahahaha...
Just kidding. I put in two stories, both of which I'm pretty happy with. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say one at the 50% mark and one at around the 20% for final scores.
Yaaay I did a writing! This was a pretty interesting prompt, I can't wait to see what angles everyone took on it.
If this prompt had come up during a Short Story round, I would have written a story about Twilight dealing with Ponyville's Planning and Zoning Board as she tries to wade through the legal paperwork of the Crystal Castle.
Oh, well. Life goes on. I hope my entry still manages to catch the interest of some of you.
Wish you all the best!
Oh, well. Life goes on. I hope my entry still manages to catch the interest of some of you.
Wish you all the best!
>>HorseVoice
Don't worry. You'll recieve real criticism here. For my first time (and epic fail) one month ago, I got only one stupid comment. But be prepared because folks here won't spare you anything. If there is a little thing that could have been better, they will tell you.
I got 2 hours left and I still have so much to do. If I make it, that's gonna be worst than the last one.
Don't worry. You'll recieve real criticism here. For my first time (and epic fail) one month ago, I got only one stupid comment. But be prepared because folks here won't spare you anything. If there is a little thing that could have been better, they will tell you.
I got 2 hours left and I still have so much to do. If I make it, that's gonna be worst than the last one.
Well, it turns out that writing a minific entry on a kindle IS an exercise in frustration. But it is not as frustrating as spending 4 hours in an airport because your flight is delayed by 2 hours, and you foolishly arrived the requisite 2 hours early.
So, in the interests of turning lemons into lemonade (as opposed to burning the airport down with incendiary lemons, which the TSA would'll d take issue with), I managed to churn out some low quality swill disguised as a story. It is mediocre at best, and largely unedited. But it is something which is, hopefully, marginally better than nothing.
Good luck to everyone else who's still writing! (Or stuck in an airport)
So, in the interests of turning lemons into lemonade (as opposed to burning the airport down with incendiary lemons, which the TSA would'll d take issue with), I managed to churn out some low quality swill disguised as a story. It is mediocre at best, and largely unedited. But it is something which is, hopefully, marginally better than nothing.
Good luck to everyone else who's still writing! (Or stuck in an airport)
I don't have a 24/7 access to the computer, unfortunately, so I had to spend the last evening scribbling things down in a notebook and today, furiously typing in an internet cafe. Hope it won't come out that badly!
Done and done. I think I managed to slice more than a hundred words out of that last one, so that's going to end well :P
And... holy crap, 61 stories in! Average length of 686.73 words, which is (if I'm not mistaken) actually on the low side. I know I'm almost always butting right up against the 750 word limit in previous contests, so I'm thinking a lot of people have second or even third stories in this time. Or we have a lot of silent entrants who aren't in this thread.
Okay, 42k words to read this week. That's totally doable. Writing 20k words of review is the hard part. :-P
Okay, 42k words to read this week. That's totally doable. Writing 20k words of review is the hard part. :-P
You know...it doesn't really matter which one of these I read, I keep hearing this in my head:
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
The place is a madhouse
Feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved
Under moon and star
Where am I to go
Now that I've gone too far
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
The place is a madhouse
Feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved
Under moon and star
Where am I to go
Now that I've gone too far
...well. I've read them all! And commented on most of them, I know I missed a few. I need to go back and catch all those later, just sometimes I can't think of anything to say.
Now the problem of getting my voting properly arranged. It's really frustrating that so many of them are good, actually! I look at the list as it's ordered now, and there are things I thoroughly enjoyed that are well under 50% and so I'm not really voting for them to go on to the next round, yet I think they should. But if only the ones that weren't a good read got cut, the voting wouldn't eliminate much at all! Aieeeee. I guess the middle of the pack doesn't really matter as much as what ones I put all the way at the top, and my choices there are pretty clear.
Now the problem of getting my voting properly arranged. It's really frustrating that so many of them are good, actually! I look at the list as it's ordered now, and there are things I thoroughly enjoyed that are well under 50% and so I'm not really voting for them to go on to the next round, yet I think they should. But if only the ones that weren't a good read got cut, the voting wouldn't eliminate much at all! Aieeeee. I guess the middle of the pack doesn't really matter as much as what ones I put all the way at the top, and my choices there are pretty clear.
Okay, people, I've given you almost two full days and nobody has made a Danger Zone reference.
Honestly, I expected better from all of you.
Honestly, I expected better from all of you.
In honor of Singles Awareness Valentine's Day, let's have a call to:
Now I know, we've got a lot of time left in the prelims, and things might balance out. But when I see we've got some fics with 10 reviews and some with just 2 or 3, I can't help but think folks would love to get more eyes on their stuff. Sadly none of these are on my slate, but I'll try to lob some reviews out there after work...
Submitted for your approval:
All Nightmare Long (3)
Crisis on Infinite Twilights (3)
The Masquerade (2)
Show some love to less-reviewed fics!
Now I know, we've got a lot of time left in the prelims, and things might balance out. But when I see we've got some fics with 10 reviews and some with just 2 or 3, I can't help but think folks would love to get more eyes on their stuff. Sadly none of these are on my slate, but I'll try to lob some reviews out there after work...
Submitted for your approval:
All Nightmare Long (3)
Crisis on Infinite Twilights (3)
The Masquerade (2)
Announcement!
Radio Writeoff
Will Record
Barring Catastrophe
On this coming Friday
At
9pm GMT
Or
3pm Central
Unless I Calculated Wrong
Again.
Join Us For
Discussion!
Banter!
And
Quill's Dulcet Tones!
We may even discuss YOUR story!
Use the Discord link at the top of the page to find us.
We have just over a day left to vote and review. Time to highlight the stories that could use more love:
“Never Dream” (#8), “Bit Too Literal” (#9), “The Twilight Show” (#11), “The Changelings are Due in Canterlot” (#34), “Crisis on Infinite Twilights” (#45), “Reach for the Stars (#48), and “The Happiest Ending” (#60) all have seven reviews by seven reviewers.
“The Passing of the Burning Brand” (#20) and “Playing the Game” (#21) each have eight reviews by seven reviewers, while “Eolotthowghrhoighuay” (#24) has nine reviews by seven reviewers.
“Crepuscular” (#4), “Invaders From Another World (#12), “All Nightmare Long” (#15), “You Open thus Door with the Key of Friendship” (#23), “The Twilight Council” (#39), “What It’s Worth” (#43), “Back to Freedom” (#50), “The Tirek Zone” (#51), and “The Masquerade” (#52) all have eight reviews by eight reviewers.
I'm sure you all know what to do.
“Never Dream” (#8), “Bit Too Literal” (#9), “The Twilight Show” (#11), “The Changelings are Due in Canterlot” (#34), “Crisis on Infinite Twilights” (#45), “Reach for the Stars (#48), and “The Happiest Ending” (#60) all have seven reviews by seven reviewers.
“The Passing of the Burning Brand” (#20) and “Playing the Game” (#21) each have eight reviews by seven reviewers, while “Eolotthowghrhoighuay” (#24) has nine reviews by seven reviewers.
“Crepuscular” (#4), “Invaders From Another World (#12), “All Nightmare Long” (#15), “You Open thus Door with the Key of Friendship” (#23), “The Twilight Council” (#39), “What It’s Worth” (#43), “Back to Freedom” (#50), “The Tirek Zone” (#51), and “The Masquerade” (#52) all have eight reviews by eight reviewers.
I'm sure you all know what to do.
So, it was proposed (by me) that someone (being me) should do a mash-up of all sixty entries with Quackers Goes to The Fair. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. No reason.
1. It's Over, Quackers
Final chapter in the Quackers series. While exploring Equestria for the upteenth time, Quackers the Duck discovers and unwittingly detonates Celestia's emergency nuclear silo, destroying Equestria.
2. Quackers Goes to The Deep
Twilight, in an attempt to show other intelligent alien lifeforms the joys of having a duck, launches Quackers into the vast emptiness of space. Quackers is not amused.
3. Fair Quackers Goes Crepuscular
Quackers decides that he wants to see more of Equestria's night life and dyes his feathers black. The ponies who love and cherish Quackers are dismayed with his new fashion sensibilities, but are confident that this is just a phase.
4. Quackers Goes To God
After the events of the smash-hit Quackers Goes Crepuscular, Quackers is looking to repent for his sins. Luckily, Celestia is there to help.
5. Tyrant King Quackers Goes to the Fair
Quackers, having failed to find salvation in Celestia, decides that he must become the villain Equestria needs in order to cleanse it. He returns the Fair he visited in the first book and harasses everyone in his path.
6. A Riveting Tale of Quackers Conquest
The mane 6 challenge the God-Tyrant Quackers to a game of Twilight Imperium that determines the fate of all of Equestria. But first, they have to explain the rules of the game for nine hours. Eventually they give up and say he can just learn to play as they go.
7. Never Dream, Quackers
After his defeat at the hands of the mane 6, Quacker is brain-washed into forgetting his past by Starlight Glimmer in an effort to pacify his desire for galactic conquest. But in his dreams, he is haunted by the suffering he has caused in the past.
8. Quackers Goes Too Literal
Quackers is confused for the span of an entire novel over the relative size of ponies and how they can be little if they are actually full sized ponies but at the same time are little relative to a size of a horse, and he just can't deal with this contradiction.
9. Trial by Quackers
Quackers starts a cult of personality designed to procure the darkest secrets and forbidden tomes from Twilight's library to restore his iron-grip over Equestria. But first he has to learn the Dewey Decimal System.
10. The Quackers Show
Quackers is thrown into the world of Equestria Girls after a spell he learned in Trial by Quackers goes awry. The cast of Equestria Girls tests Quackers with the Kobayashi Maru in order to see if he is fit to be integrated into the main cast and maybe be featured in the next movie.
11. Quackers from Another World
After being kicked out the continuity of Equestria Girls, Quackers returns to Equestria to conquer the planet again, but only succeeds in mildly irritating Octavia. She hits him with a broom, prompting his immediate retreat back into the wild.
12. Is Quackers in the Literal Sense
Quackers has an existentialist crisis over his inability to defeat Octavia and loses all sense of himself. He tries to become like other members of the mane 6, but fails. I think.
13. A Good Quackers in Equestria
The mane 6 have been trapped in a pocket dimension created by Quackers' immense psychic power, and they have to keep him happy, or he'll erase their asses from the continuity. This mainly consists of bringing Quackers bread crumbs.
14. Long Quackers Nightmare
A Quackers villain origin story. An eldritch abomination touches Quackers in his dreams and gradually imbues him with its corrupt essence. The darkness gives Quackers vast powers, but also drains his sanity, becoming a shell of the duck he once was.
15. Awesome Fair Quackers!
Twilight, feeling pity for Quackers, creates a pocket dimension of eternal fairs for Quackers in order to keep him content in reliving his halcyon days before his fall into madness. Quackers is pleased with this development.
16. Welcome to Equestria Quackers!
The prequel to Quackers Goes to the Fair. Quackers fills out an immigration form to Equestria from the neighboring land of Yakistan, but his travel visa is voided. He decides to immigrate illegally instead.
17. Quackers Libs
Discord makes unwelcome edits to Quackers' My Little Pony fan fiction, which angers the duck of destiny. Discord and Quackers both employ the fullest extent of their continuity-altering powers to wrest control of the MLP-Universe by rewriting sections of each others' fan fics.
18. The Obsolete Quackers
After being trapped by Starlight Glimmer's equalist movement, Quackers plans a murder-suicide in order to defeat his foe, knowing full well that the Dark Gods of Equestria will save his mortal form.
19. The Passing of the Burning Quackers
The extended-universe sequel made after the events of It's Over, Quackers with permission from the original author. It describes the death of Celestia in the nuclear apocalypse and the effect it has had on the environment.
20. Playing the Quackers Game
Quackers devises a get rich quick scheme to defraud the government of thousands of bits by exploiting Twilight's Sparkles' childhood affection for him. It succeeds, and Quackers quickly becomes a millionaire living the high life. But all good things come to an end eventually...
Okay that's it for right now, but I'll be back with more Quackers stories!
1. It's Over, Quackers
Final chapter in the Quackers series. While exploring Equestria for the upteenth time, Quackers the Duck discovers and unwittingly detonates Celestia's emergency nuclear silo, destroying Equestria.
2. Quackers Goes to The Deep
Twilight, in an attempt to show other intelligent alien lifeforms the joys of having a duck, launches Quackers into the vast emptiness of space. Quackers is not amused.
3. Fair Quackers Goes Crepuscular
Quackers decides that he wants to see more of Equestria's night life and dyes his feathers black. The ponies who love and cherish Quackers are dismayed with his new fashion sensibilities, but are confident that this is just a phase.
4. Quackers Goes To God
After the events of the smash-hit Quackers Goes Crepuscular, Quackers is looking to repent for his sins. Luckily, Celestia is there to help.
5. Tyrant King Quackers Goes to the Fair
Quackers, having failed to find salvation in Celestia, decides that he must become the villain Equestria needs in order to cleanse it. He returns the Fair he visited in the first book and harasses everyone in his path.
6. A Riveting Tale of Quackers Conquest
The mane 6 challenge the God-Tyrant Quackers to a game of Twilight Imperium that determines the fate of all of Equestria. But first, they have to explain the rules of the game for nine hours. Eventually they give up and say he can just learn to play as they go.
7. Never Dream, Quackers
After his defeat at the hands of the mane 6, Quacker is brain-washed into forgetting his past by Starlight Glimmer in an effort to pacify his desire for galactic conquest. But in his dreams, he is haunted by the suffering he has caused in the past.
8. Quackers Goes Too Literal
Quackers is confused for the span of an entire novel over the relative size of ponies and how they can be little if they are actually full sized ponies but at the same time are little relative to a size of a horse, and he just can't deal with this contradiction.
9. Trial by Quackers
Quackers starts a cult of personality designed to procure the darkest secrets and forbidden tomes from Twilight's library to restore his iron-grip over Equestria. But first he has to learn the Dewey Decimal System.
10. The Quackers Show
Quackers is thrown into the world of Equestria Girls after a spell he learned in Trial by Quackers goes awry. The cast of Equestria Girls tests Quackers with the Kobayashi Maru in order to see if he is fit to be integrated into the main cast and maybe be featured in the next movie.
11. Quackers from Another World
After being kicked out the continuity of Equestria Girls, Quackers returns to Equestria to conquer the planet again, but only succeeds in mildly irritating Octavia. She hits him with a broom, prompting his immediate retreat back into the wild.
12. Is Quackers in the Literal Sense
Quackers has an existentialist crisis over his inability to defeat Octavia and loses all sense of himself. He tries to become like other members of the mane 6, but fails. I think.
13. A Good Quackers in Equestria
The mane 6 have been trapped in a pocket dimension created by Quackers' immense psychic power, and they have to keep him happy, or he'll erase their asses from the continuity. This mainly consists of bringing Quackers bread crumbs.
14. Long Quackers Nightmare
A Quackers villain origin story. An eldritch abomination touches Quackers in his dreams and gradually imbues him with its corrupt essence. The darkness gives Quackers vast powers, but also drains his sanity, becoming a shell of the duck he once was.
15. Awesome Fair Quackers!
Twilight, feeling pity for Quackers, creates a pocket dimension of eternal fairs for Quackers in order to keep him content in reliving his halcyon days before his fall into madness. Quackers is pleased with this development.
16. Welcome to Equestria Quackers!
The prequel to Quackers Goes to the Fair. Quackers fills out an immigration form to Equestria from the neighboring land of Yakistan, but his travel visa is voided. He decides to immigrate illegally instead.
17. Quackers Libs
Discord makes unwelcome edits to Quackers' My Little Pony fan fiction, which angers the duck of destiny. Discord and Quackers both employ the fullest extent of their continuity-altering powers to wrest control of the MLP-Universe by rewriting sections of each others' fan fics.
18. The Obsolete Quackers
After being trapped by Starlight Glimmer's equalist movement, Quackers plans a murder-suicide in order to defeat his foe, knowing full well that the Dark Gods of Equestria will save his mortal form.
19. The Passing of the Burning Quackers
The extended-universe sequel made after the events of It's Over, Quackers with permission from the original author. It describes the death of Celestia in the nuclear apocalypse and the effect it has had on the environment.
20. Playing the Quackers Game
Quackers devises a get rich quick scheme to defraud the government of thousands of bits by exploiting Twilight's Sparkles' childhood affection for him. It succeeds, and Quackers quickly becomes a millionaire living the high life. But all good things come to an end eventually...
Okay that's it for right now, but I'll be back with more Quackers stories!
>>AndrewRogue Sweet, thanks Andrew. :)
So, it turns out that replying to any alias sends all notifications to the same spot, which is cool.
It also turns out that the notification link only goes to the general discussion thread, not the actual post that the reply was in. This is probably less of a problem if the replies are inside a story thread, but maybe I'll mention it to Roger...
EDIT: turns out there is a link that goes directly to the post, but it's not obviously a link, so I missed it the first few times. You have to click that little non-blue arrow at the very end of the notification.
So, it turns out that replying to any alias sends all notifications to the same spot, which is cool.
It also turns out that the notification link only goes to the general discussion thread, not the actual post that the reply was in. This is probably less of a problem if the replies are inside a story thread, but maybe I'll mention it to Roger...
EDIT: turns out there is a link that goes directly to the post, but it's not obviously a link, so I missed it the first few times. You have to click that little non-blue arrow at the very end of the notification.
Quackers Mash-ups Cont.
21. To Serve Quackers Friendship
Twilight Sparkle is asked to arbitrate a dispute between the two Equestrian Monarchs to determine who has a right to Quackers' friendship. Twilight Sparkle is about to give the opinion that they are both able to share Quackers' friendship, but she is abruptly cut off by two foot notes.
22. You Open This Door With the Key of Quackers
Quackers is transported to the continuity of the Twilight Zone following an elongated argument between Celestia and Luna over who gets to keep him in their room. Rod Sterling makes him feel very uncomfortable and he doesn't have a fun time.
23. Eolotthowghrhoighuay... Quackers
Quackers retreats deep underground to avoid Luna and Celestia after a diplomatic tensions on who gets his friendship fizzle and encounters a wistful diamond dog talking about a pegasus. Quackers relates to and befriends him because they are both not very good at speaking English and Quackers has wings.
24. Quackers' Protagonist Syndrome
The eldritch creations inhabiting Quackers' mind reveal unto him that he is simply a fictional depiction of a duck in an unlicensed reproduction of a fictional show. This knowledge destroys the last remnants of Quackers' sanity, and he realizes that he can do pretty much anything without consequence since he is the protagonist of the Quackers offshot series.
Critics claim that this is the point where Quackers got too meta.
25. Quackers Goes To the Fair
First book in the series. An adorable duck goes to a fair and makes everyone happy, not knowing the darkness that he soon will bring to the world and the ponies he loves.
26. Quackers vs. Azathoth
After the events of Trial by Quackers, the acolytes of Quackers'c cult manage to retrieve the Necronomicon from Twilight's library. Quackers quickly learns that the source of the eldritch power that he has been cursed with comes from the Outer God Azathoth. Using his occult powers, he tries to perform a ritual to summon Azathoth into Equestria, but only succeeds in briefly creating a portal to the real world. Buzz Aldrin doesn't report this to NASA.
27. Quackers' Reveries
The Equestrian Magician Association launches an undercover investigation into the source of Quackers' magical ability after he inadvertently transforms Twilight's parents into a cactus. To cover up the source of the immense magical power, the lead investigator tell Twilight that she destroyed her parents instead, and everyone in the kingdom pretends that she is some super powerful magical user to maintain secrecy.
28. Quackers' True Ascension
Quackers uses his powers to alter the continuity of the Magical Mystery Cure to make it so he replaces Twilight as the new Princess of Equestria. Celestia comes to explain to him the extent of his Princess responsibilities, which he just ignores.
29. Quackers Goes to the Exclusion Zone
The flavor text of the remnants of Equestria following the events of It's Over, Quackers in an unauthorized module for the Quackers Dungeons and Dragons and dragons games. The author is currently in negotiations to seek licensing for publication.
30. Home Sweet Quackers
The reboot by a new author following the death of the original author of Quackers Goes to The Fair. Twilight takes Quackers through a dimensional portal to negate the previous continuity of the Quackers universe in order to free up the author to create new Quackers canon.
31. Quackers' Safe Zone
Discord adopts Quackers and shoves him in his navel for no discernible reason other than Discord is just a really odd person.
32. Quackers of the Ruins
Sequel to Quackers' True Ascension. Frustrated with Quackers' lack of initiative in being the new Princess of Friendship, Celestia just completely destroys the instance of the continuity and fucks off to a parallel dimension.
33. The Quackers are Due in Canterlot
Princess Luna, suspicious of a plethora of an uprising of ducks in a small town outside of Canterlot, goes to investigate. She is immediately subdued by an army of small ducks and replaced by a duck that sort of looks like her.
34. The Quackers' Limits
Quackers appeals to Celestia's long lost sister to help him conquer Equestria, but she is too busy moping to be of any assistance.
35. It's a Good Quackers
Pony Rod Sterling follows Quackers around for an entire day, pestering him with long-winded story after long-winded story in a vain attempt to try to persuade Quackers just to go back to the fair.
36. Transcript of Quackers Interview 0101730A
Another Retcon of the Quackers Series made by the new author proposing that Quackers never actually went to the fair and met Twilight, thus never had the opportunity to destroy her parents.
37. Subject Quackers Theta 32
Sequel to Transcript of Quackers Interview 0101730A. Quackers is picked up and investigated by the Pony Magical Association due to his immense magical aura that threatens to destroy Equestria. The isolation eventually drives him mad.
38. The Quackers Council
In an event similar to Crisis on Infinite Earths, Quackers consolidates all of his identities across every single Quackers continuity to join forces and overtake Equestria.
39. Quackers Goes to the Shortest Coup d'état in Equestrian History
Blueblood, furious with Quackers' continued popularity and finesse with the ladies, decides that he shall take it upon himself to assassinate Quackers. Unfortunate for Blueblood, Quackers is beyond strength and immediately obliterates him with an earth-shattering quack.
40. Are There Any Paranoid Quackers in The Writeoff Tonight?
Quackers meets the spirit of the original author of his story, who tells him that he is a Marty Stu creation that should be tossed in a dumpster fire. This destroys Quackers' spirit and breaks his will to live.
More Quackers sometimes in the future!
21. To Serve Quackers Friendship
Twilight Sparkle is asked to arbitrate a dispute between the two Equestrian Monarchs to determine who has a right to Quackers' friendship. Twilight Sparkle is about to give the opinion that they are both able to share Quackers' friendship, but she is abruptly cut off by two foot notes.
22. You Open This Door With the Key of Quackers
Quackers is transported to the continuity of the Twilight Zone following an elongated argument between Celestia and Luna over who gets to keep him in their room. Rod Sterling makes him feel very uncomfortable and he doesn't have a fun time.
23. Eolotthowghrhoighuay... Quackers
Quackers retreats deep underground to avoid Luna and Celestia after a diplomatic tensions on who gets his friendship fizzle and encounters a wistful diamond dog talking about a pegasus. Quackers relates to and befriends him because they are both not very good at speaking English and Quackers has wings.
24. Quackers' Protagonist Syndrome
The eldritch creations inhabiting Quackers' mind reveal unto him that he is simply a fictional depiction of a duck in an unlicensed reproduction of a fictional show. This knowledge destroys the last remnants of Quackers' sanity, and he realizes that he can do pretty much anything without consequence since he is the protagonist of the Quackers offshot series.
Critics claim that this is the point where Quackers got too meta.
25. Quackers Goes To the Fair
First book in the series. An adorable duck goes to a fair and makes everyone happy, not knowing the darkness that he soon will bring to the world and the ponies he loves.
26. Quackers vs. Azathoth
After the events of Trial by Quackers, the acolytes of Quackers'c cult manage to retrieve the Necronomicon from Twilight's library. Quackers quickly learns that the source of the eldritch power that he has been cursed with comes from the Outer God Azathoth. Using his occult powers, he tries to perform a ritual to summon Azathoth into Equestria, but only succeeds in briefly creating a portal to the real world. Buzz Aldrin doesn't report this to NASA.
27. Quackers' Reveries
The Equestrian Magician Association launches an undercover investigation into the source of Quackers' magical ability after he inadvertently transforms Twilight's parents into a cactus. To cover up the source of the immense magical power, the lead investigator tell Twilight that she destroyed her parents instead, and everyone in the kingdom pretends that she is some super powerful magical user to maintain secrecy.
28. Quackers' True Ascension
Quackers uses his powers to alter the continuity of the Magical Mystery Cure to make it so he replaces Twilight as the new Princess of Equestria. Celestia comes to explain to him the extent of his Princess responsibilities, which he just ignores.
29. Quackers Goes to the Exclusion Zone
The flavor text of the remnants of Equestria following the events of It's Over, Quackers in an unauthorized module for the Quackers Dungeons and Dragons and dragons games. The author is currently in negotiations to seek licensing for publication.
30. Home Sweet Quackers
The reboot by a new author following the death of the original author of Quackers Goes to The Fair. Twilight takes Quackers through a dimensional portal to negate the previous continuity of the Quackers universe in order to free up the author to create new Quackers canon.
31. Quackers' Safe Zone
Discord adopts Quackers and shoves him in his navel for no discernible reason other than Discord is just a really odd person.
32. Quackers of the Ruins
Sequel to Quackers' True Ascension. Frustrated with Quackers' lack of initiative in being the new Princess of Friendship, Celestia just completely destroys the instance of the continuity and fucks off to a parallel dimension.
33. The Quackers are Due in Canterlot
Princess Luna, suspicious of a plethora of an uprising of ducks in a small town outside of Canterlot, goes to investigate. She is immediately subdued by an army of small ducks and replaced by a duck that sort of looks like her.
34. The Quackers' Limits
Quackers appeals to Celestia's long lost sister to help him conquer Equestria, but she is too busy moping to be of any assistance.
35. It's a Good Quackers
Pony Rod Sterling follows Quackers around for an entire day, pestering him with long-winded story after long-winded story in a vain attempt to try to persuade Quackers just to go back to the fair.
36. Transcript of Quackers Interview 0101730A
Another Retcon of the Quackers Series made by the new author proposing that Quackers never actually went to the fair and met Twilight, thus never had the opportunity to destroy her parents.
37. Subject Quackers Theta 32
Sequel to Transcript of Quackers Interview 0101730A. Quackers is picked up and investigated by the Pony Magical Association due to his immense magical aura that threatens to destroy Equestria. The isolation eventually drives him mad.
38. The Quackers Council
In an event similar to Crisis on Infinite Earths, Quackers consolidates all of his identities across every single Quackers continuity to join forces and overtake Equestria.
39. Quackers Goes to the Shortest Coup d'état in Equestrian History
Blueblood, furious with Quackers' continued popularity and finesse with the ladies, decides that he shall take it upon himself to assassinate Quackers. Unfortunate for Blueblood, Quackers is beyond strength and immediately obliterates him with an earth-shattering quack.
40. Are There Any Paranoid Quackers in The Writeoff Tonight?
Quackers meets the spirit of the original author of his story, who tells him that he is a Marty Stu creation that should be tossed in a dumpster fire. This destroys Quackers' spirit and breaks his will to live.
More Quackers sometimes in the future!
Is it Mashup time yet? It’s Mashup time.
Don’t Tickle Azathoth
The Blind Idiot God has one weak spot, which strongly resembles the fuzzy tummy of an adorable little kitten. Don’t. Don’t.
To Serve Sonata Dusk
(It’s a cookbook. A cookbook full of SPOILERS.)
Twilight Sparkle Seeks the Masquerade
Nopony understood her Starswirl costume last Nightmare Night, but it’s sure to be a hit this time with her improved modification of the Want It Need It spell.
The Passing of the Test
Celestia visits a lake by mistake. There is nothing to see here. DQ’ed. Her horn like a spiral shell contains a lithe, repulsive worm, a slippery alien leech that defeats her good mind with repugnant thoughts… then the eternal white silence.
Fallen from the Outer Limits
Celestial Alicorns squabble over a dimming star and knock it out of the heavens by accident. Or was it another Plot Twist (tm)?
The Thousandth Invader from Another World
What’s this Displacement dressed up as? Oh, another Starswirl. Yawn.
Don’t Tickle Azathoth
The Blind Idiot God has one weak spot, which strongly resembles the fuzzy tummy of an adorable little kitten. Don’t. Don’t.
To Serve Sonata Dusk
(It’s a cookbook. A cookbook full of SPOILERS.)
Twilight Sparkle Seeks the Masquerade
Nopony understood her Starswirl costume last Nightmare Night, but it’s sure to be a hit this time with her improved modification of the Want It Need It spell.
The Passing of the Test
Celestia visits a lake by mistake. There is nothing to see here. DQ’ed. Her horn like a spiral shell contains a lithe, repulsive worm, a slippery alien leech that defeats her good mind with repugnant thoughts… then the eternal white silence.
Fallen from the Outer Limits
Celestial Alicorns squabble over a dimming star and knock it out of the heavens by accident. Or was it another Plot Twist (tm)?
The Thousandth Invader from Another World
What’s this Displacement dressed up as? Oh, another Starswirl. Yawn.
Mashups, huh? I could go for some mashups.
Crazy Libs
"Don't worry, she's not an octopus."
Yet Hope, In Part, Goes to the Fair:
How silly, simple U> had been –
To think ô present; What would it say,
If ô impressed \Ô/ today,
With quackless fluke – the U> sin?
Twilight's Awesome Safe Zone:
"Getting me to study? Awesome! Wait, where is this place, anyways? And why does this chair feel like dryer lint?"
Welcome to Equestria, Tyrant King!
Please select the box signaling how effective you plan to be as a a villain:
☐ STAAAAAAAAIRS! CRYYYYYYYSTALS!
☐ Other (additional processing fees apply)
Crazy Libs
"Don't worry, she's not an octopus."
Yet Hope, In Part, Goes to the Fair:
How silly, simple U> had been –
To think ô present; What would it say,
If ô impressed \Ô/ today,
With quackless fluke – the U> sin?
Twilight's Awesome Safe Zone:
"Getting me to study? Awesome! Wait, where is this place, anyways? And why does this chair feel like dryer lint?"
Welcome to Equestria, Tyrant King!
Please select the box signaling how effective you plan to be as a a villain:
☐ STAAAAAAAAIRS! CRYYYYYYYSTALS!
☐ Other (additional processing fees apply)
FINAL ROUND, FIGHT!!!
41. No Quackers Allowed
Backstory of the inciting incident that caused Quackers to turn Twilight's family into cacti in Quackers' Reveries. Twilight and her mother are playing a game together and purposely excluding Quackers because they fear the all-mighty wrath of his soul-rending Quack. Twilight's dad tries to cheer Quackers up by performing a cross-dressing cabaret routine, but this only serves to make Quackers even more upset.
42. What Quackers' Worth
Twilight gets Quackers a book for his birthday, but Quackers isn't really interested in it because he can't read. Twilight tries to address Quackers' illiteracy, but he curses the book in spite. Later, Twilight decides to re-gift the game book to Spike, and it traps him in a pocket dimension.
43. Twilight Sparkle is the True Crime of Quackers
Twilight tries again in vain to teach Quackers to read by producing a hand-written poem made especially for Quackers. Quackers, however, realizes that the draftmanship is utter garbage and tosses it away, irreparably hurting Twilight's feelings.
44. Crisis on Infinite Quackers
An adaptation of the Quackers saga by an inexperienced Japanese mangaka that was published in Shonen Jump in April of 2018. Quackers-san is a ninja shinobi samurai that has to defeat the evil daimyo in order to bring peace and justice to the land. However, he has to first recruit a series of alternate reality Quackers-sans with the adequate skills to help him perform this undertaking. The rest of the manga is just a copy of 13 Assassins.
45. The Meaning of Being Quackers
In the post-nuclear apocalypse, Quackers has a heart-to-heart conversation with Twilight about the sins he committed while he was a mortal duck in the realm of the dead. It is apparent Twilight hasn't forgiven him for killing her friends, family, and everyone she ever knew, but the talk gives Quackers some peace of mind about the whole situation.
46. Quackers' Dance Revolution
Quackers accidentally starts a full-on war in the dragon kingdom after completely obliterating Vinyl Scratch in a dance off that leaves her completely paralyzed. Quackers is put on trial for crimes against humanity and is found innocent on the virtue of being too cute to commit something so atrocious.
47. Reach for the Quackers
Through a series of brow-beating, passive-aggressive comments, and gaslighting, Quackers manages to convince Luna to retake the mantel of Nightmare Moon in order to destabilize Celestia's iron grip over Equestria. All the pieces of Quackers' master plan come together, and he is the one pulling the strings that decide the fate of Equestria.
48. Quacker Goes Vört Vört Vört
Quackers' master plan is finally revealed, and he opens up a trans-dimensional portal to Xen, allowing the Vortigaunts to come in and enslave all of Equestria.
49. Back to Quackers
An armed resistance has sprung up to fight against Quackers' complete and utter domination of Equestria. This story chapters the final moments of a dying resistance soldier fighting against the great and glorious Quackers' army. Quackers will not tolerate insubordination.
50. The Quackers Zone
With some persuasion, Quackers manages to convince Discord to sell out the mane 6, the last bastions of resistance to his totalitarian rule. A depressed Discord is sad for the rest of eternity.
51. The Quackers Masquerade
Fancy Pants, trying to get in with the new established tyrant, attempts to find Quackers at a upscale masked ball and chat him about perhaps not killing him. Unfortunately, Fancy Pants is distracted by a very attractive mare and forgets to ask Quackers not to kill him. This will have repercussions in the future for Fancy Pants.
52. The Quackers Town
A story of Quackers' childhood living in a hamlet outside of Canterlot. The Townspeople love and befriend Quackers, and treat him well. However, once Quackers is touched by Azathoth, he loses controls of his powers and gorily slaughters everyone in the entire vicinity before realizing what he had done.
53. The Thousandth Quackers
An alt-universe written by an a fan of the Quackers saga. Twilight asks Princess Luna why she imprisoned Quackers on the sun, and Luna harshly rebukes her for not knowing what a menace Quackers was to society.
54. Yet Hope, in Quackers, Found Purchase
Quackers abstains from being mashed up with this story because he doesn't know anything about poetry, infuriating its author.
55. Twilight Sparkle Seeks a Quackers Permit
Twilight attempts, despite literally everyone trying to convince her that it is a bad idea, that she should adopt Quackers and files the paperwork to make him her pet. Celestia immediately rejects this, so Twilight goes behind her back and does it anyways.
56. Crazy Quackers
Quackers is cursed with the ability to alter the continuity to the opposite of whatever it is he says. Eager to abuse this power, Quackers attempts to kill Granny Smith. However, since Quackers can't speak English, the power doesn't work. Frustrated, Quackers just kills Granny Smith the old fashioned way.
57. Fallen From Quackers
Quackers instructs his minion Daring Do to retrieve a precious artifact so he can summon Azathoth, but she encounters Twilight along the way. Twilight tries to convince Daring that she is headed down the path of destruction, but the corrupting influence of Azathoth has already crushed his will. Twilight resolves that she must defeat Daring and Azathoth to free Equestria.
58. In The Twilit Palace
Celestia tries to console Quackers after his encounter with Azathoth by telling him that he will never be alone, but this only serves to dismay Quackers further. Celestia tries to recite the "All the land touches is my kingdom" speech from The Lion King, but fails miserably.
59. Quackers' Happiest Ending
Final chapter in the Quackers saga by the second author before he retired. After exhausting all manners of schemes and plots, Quackers decides just to alter the continuity of the story to where he just wins. And he does. Quackers wins everyone.
60. Quackers' Monsters
A spin-off created by the son of the second author. A murderer treks out to the Everfree to dispose of some bodies, but just as the dirt is shoveled over the graves, she encounters Quackers. The night does not end well for the murderer.
61. Just a Quackers
The most straightforward Quackers story. It's just a Quackers. How much simpler can it get?
41. No Quackers Allowed
Backstory of the inciting incident that caused Quackers to turn Twilight's family into cacti in Quackers' Reveries. Twilight and her mother are playing a game together and purposely excluding Quackers because they fear the all-mighty wrath of his soul-rending Quack. Twilight's dad tries to cheer Quackers up by performing a cross-dressing cabaret routine, but this only serves to make Quackers even more upset.
42. What Quackers' Worth
Twilight gets Quackers a book for his birthday, but Quackers isn't really interested in it because he can't read. Twilight tries to address Quackers' illiteracy, but he curses the book in spite. Later, Twilight decides to re-gift the game book to Spike, and it traps him in a pocket dimension.
43. Twilight Sparkle is the True Crime of Quackers
Twilight tries again in vain to teach Quackers to read by producing a hand-written poem made especially for Quackers. Quackers, however, realizes that the draftmanship is utter garbage and tosses it away, irreparably hurting Twilight's feelings.
44. Crisis on Infinite Quackers
An adaptation of the Quackers saga by an inexperienced Japanese mangaka that was published in Shonen Jump in April of 2018. Quackers-san is a ninja shinobi samurai that has to defeat the evil daimyo in order to bring peace and justice to the land. However, he has to first recruit a series of alternate reality Quackers-sans with the adequate skills to help him perform this undertaking. The rest of the manga is just a copy of 13 Assassins.
45. The Meaning of Being Quackers
In the post-nuclear apocalypse, Quackers has a heart-to-heart conversation with Twilight about the sins he committed while he was a mortal duck in the realm of the dead. It is apparent Twilight hasn't forgiven him for killing her friends, family, and everyone she ever knew, but the talk gives Quackers some peace of mind about the whole situation.
46. Quackers' Dance Revolution
Quackers accidentally starts a full-on war in the dragon kingdom after completely obliterating Vinyl Scratch in a dance off that leaves her completely paralyzed. Quackers is put on trial for crimes against humanity and is found innocent on the virtue of being too cute to commit something so atrocious.
47. Reach for the Quackers
Through a series of brow-beating, passive-aggressive comments, and gaslighting, Quackers manages to convince Luna to retake the mantel of Nightmare Moon in order to destabilize Celestia's iron grip over Equestria. All the pieces of Quackers' master plan come together, and he is the one pulling the strings that decide the fate of Equestria.
48. Quacker Goes Vört Vört Vört
Quackers' master plan is finally revealed, and he opens up a trans-dimensional portal to Xen, allowing the Vortigaunts to come in and enslave all of Equestria.
49. Back to Quackers
An armed resistance has sprung up to fight against Quackers' complete and utter domination of Equestria. This story chapters the final moments of a dying resistance soldier fighting against the great and glorious Quackers' army. Quackers will not tolerate insubordination.
50. The Quackers Zone
With some persuasion, Quackers manages to convince Discord to sell out the mane 6, the last bastions of resistance to his totalitarian rule. A depressed Discord is sad for the rest of eternity.
51. The Quackers Masquerade
Fancy Pants, trying to get in with the new established tyrant, attempts to find Quackers at a upscale masked ball and chat him about perhaps not killing him. Unfortunately, Fancy Pants is distracted by a very attractive mare and forgets to ask Quackers not to kill him. This will have repercussions in the future for Fancy Pants.
52. The Quackers Town
A story of Quackers' childhood living in a hamlet outside of Canterlot. The Townspeople love and befriend Quackers, and treat him well. However, once Quackers is touched by Azathoth, he loses controls of his powers and gorily slaughters everyone in the entire vicinity before realizing what he had done.
53. The Thousandth Quackers
An alt-universe written by an a fan of the Quackers saga. Twilight asks Princess Luna why she imprisoned Quackers on the sun, and Luna harshly rebukes her for not knowing what a menace Quackers was to society.
54. Yet Hope, in Quackers, Found Purchase
Quackers abstains from being mashed up with this story because he doesn't know anything about poetry, infuriating its author.
55. Twilight Sparkle Seeks a Quackers Permit
Twilight attempts, despite literally everyone trying to convince her that it is a bad idea, that she should adopt Quackers and files the paperwork to make him her pet. Celestia immediately rejects this, so Twilight goes behind her back and does it anyways.
56. Crazy Quackers
Quackers is cursed with the ability to alter the continuity to the opposite of whatever it is he says. Eager to abuse this power, Quackers attempts to kill Granny Smith. However, since Quackers can't speak English, the power doesn't work. Frustrated, Quackers just kills Granny Smith the old fashioned way.
57. Fallen From Quackers
Quackers instructs his minion Daring Do to retrieve a precious artifact so he can summon Azathoth, but she encounters Twilight along the way. Twilight tries to convince Daring that she is headed down the path of destruction, but the corrupting influence of Azathoth has already crushed his will. Twilight resolves that she must defeat Daring and Azathoth to free Equestria.
58. In The Twilit Palace
Celestia tries to console Quackers after his encounter with Azathoth by telling him that he will never be alone, but this only serves to dismay Quackers further. Celestia tries to recite the "All the land touches is my kingdom" speech from The Lion King, but fails miserably.
59. Quackers' Happiest Ending
Final chapter in the Quackers saga by the second author before he retired. After exhausting all manners of schemes and plots, Quackers decides just to alter the continuity of the story to where he just wins. And he does. Quackers wins everyone.
60. Quackers' Monsters
A spin-off created by the son of the second author. A murderer treks out to the Everfree to dispose of some bodies, but just as the dirt is shoveled over the graves, she encounters Quackers. The night does not end well for the murderer.
61. Just a Quackers
The most straightforward Quackers story. It's just a Quackers. How much simpler can it get?
Well, I've made it through my slate plus several others, but realistically I'm not gonna get through many more before finals.
Speaking of which, I estimate my chances of making finals at ~25%. I thought mine was good at time of submission, but alas. At least I learned some things.
And speaking of that, I'm grateful as always for the feedback we give to and receive from each other through the Writeoff. It's sometimes hair-raising to have people read things you've written so quickly, but it can also be educational. I think the overall tone and quality of reviews has generally been good this time around, which is important, because never forget that there's a person on the other end of the story. I like it when what we offer each other is both feedback and encouragement. ❤️
Speaking of which, I estimate my chances of making finals at ~25%. I thought mine was good at time of submission, but alas. At least I learned some things.
And speaking of that, I'm grateful as always for the feedback we give to and receive from each other through the Writeoff. It's sometimes hair-raising to have people read things you've written so quickly, but it can also be educational. I think the overall tone and quality of reviews has generally been good this time around, which is important, because never forget that there's a person on the other end of the story. I like it when what we offer each other is both feedback and encouragement. ❤️