>>horizon
"Not after you've paid it, Dobbin." Parade Rest sighed. "We told you this already."

Dobbin's eyes glazed over and he whinnied, turning away.

"Pretending to be mute won't work again." Parade Rest groaned and massaged her forehead. "Of all the jobs in Equestria, they saddle me with foalsitting you."

"Weren't my fault, they framed me," Dobbin replied automatically. "How can a wheatgrass reserve even be 'strategic' anyway?"

This is my attempt to pin down who the names used in this story go with IRL. I think I've got most of them, but two are fairly elusive.

RogerWilco - Obviously our glorious leader, RogerDodger.
Notorious C.I.G. - Cold in Gardez, because of the initials.
Mumblegrunge - Zoey, AKA 'murmurpunk'
Trips Reruns - Dubs Rewatcher. He got his name from the 'tripcodes' on... ponychan, IIRC.
False_Fedora - Yeah, it's probably me. :P I deny having anything to do with fedoras, although since I call myself 'not really a brony' despite hanging out around here, this name is surprisingly apt.
Brutus, Forebear of Oxide - Cassius, Genesis of Rust. Because, yeah, obviously.
basildragon - Baxildragon, AKA Horizon. Just one letter different. (I can't help picture him as some sort of chiapet with this name, though... :P)
Enlightened Pastry - Lise Eclaire. Eclair/Eclaire; ones a pastry, the other means 'enlightened'. I made this joke in the chat myself, actually.
Rhetorical Interrogative - Trick Question seems most likely?
Pallada - Oblomov? It's a Russian ship. And that 'Stalin's grace'...
Pigasos - Monokeras? This apparently means 'pegasus' in some other language. Plus, that vocabulary question about fits.
Fog - Haze, probably just based on names?

But these two I have absolutely no idea about. They might just be there for filler? Anyone else?

Coldflower - Cassius guesses Icenrose here, which makes a lot of sense.
MargarinePsycho And Majin Syeekoh here, which... is similar word-wise, but seems a bit of a stretch to me.

This story wasn't on my slate,
But let me join in the debate.
It's surely lovely, dark and deep;
And still, I feel, with little weight.

Your rhymes are mostly crisp and fine.
Yet what's with these italic lines?
They break the mold and catch the eye.
Are they a hint, a clue, a sign?

Perhaps I miss what you imply,
Outside of rhyme and kiss and sigh,
This must be Luna and her shade...
They're doing something by-and-by.

But I'm not seeing arc or plot;
It's pretty, but it is not fraught
With tension, anger, or device,
To draw me in. My heart's uncaught.

'More words might help', I'd like to say,
It seems, though, you have answered nay.
This barely bobs above the count,
That it must meet to join the fray.

Unless it's time that left you short?
If you say that, I can't retort.
Our margins here are truly thin;
Perhaps you had to call 'abort!'

The fault will likely stand with me;
I've claimed before I shouldn't be
the one to comment on a verse.
I guess today I'm fancy-free.

I wrote in rhyme here as a joke.
I hope you don't think there is cloak-
-ed malice in these words of mine.
I swear, I'm quite the friendly bloke!

Prose version: I read this because of the discussion, and I think giving poetry more attention is worth doing. This is pretty, but it doesn't seem to go deeper than a touch of shipping. There's a wonderful hint of lunacy at the end, and the poetry evokes that nicely. However, much of this left me cold or mildly confused, such as the seemingly significant italicized bits. However, I cling staunchly to my claims of knowing nothing about poetry despite spending however long it took to hack this rhyme together, so there's a good chance I'm simply missing something or not in your audience. I wrote a 'poetic' review because it seemed fun at the time, and am not intending to mock you or anything like that.

>>ChappedPenguinLips I also wanted to reply to this comment, because (as far as I can tell) this poem is similar to Robert Frost's "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening." So I don't think I'd call it's meter or rhyme 'unique', per se. It's still a beautiful style, however.

>>RogerDodger My biggest problem with this, is that you're complicating the rules a lot for (in my opinion) very little gain.

The complications come from the fact that, even if you disallow fanfic, you're going to have trouble enforcing it; what level of influence counts as 'fanfiction'? Would Quiet Boy and Moon Horse have been DQ'd under these rules? What about fanfiction that's out of our norm, like that Metro 2033 fanfic-ish-thing that cropped up a few rounds ago? Who's responsible for reporting this, and why should they bother/how should they go about it?

I mean, you'd probably catch a few stories, but I don't know if it's actually worth the trouble, honestly, which brings me to my second point.

Are people really annoyed enough with the MLP stories that crop up in this contest that we feel we need to disallow them completely? Sure, I don't enjoy them as much as the original stuff I see, but... if people want to write that, I think they should be allowed to. I'll likely dock them a few points, or I'll abstain, but they can write in hard mode if they so desire. I have tools to express this in the contest. Is it really worth the complication and annoyance that 'no fanfic' would bring to the table to remove them completely? Because I'm convinced that the complication wouldn't be trivial, and the implementation wouldn't be consistent, even across things that might by MLP fanfic.

TL:DR - do y'all really want to DQ Quiet Boy and Moon Horse? Whose job is it to pull that trigger?

I vote to keep it 'general'.

They have been chopped up by story. I've tried to include the relevant discussion, and cut out the irrelevant silence and banter.

A tremendous thank-you to the compassionate and friendly Murmurpunk for supplying the recording; I didn't plan to record, but due to her kindness, these are available for your enjoyment!

She had to leave early, though, so the last story - Some Food Court Takeout - is not here.

I apologize to the author. Next time, I'll have to look into recording these myself.

EDIT: I have since taken these down. If you'd like a copy, please msg me.

All the edited recordings should be in the Reading Archive zip for people who plan to download and listen elsewhere. Otherwise, you should be able to stream right from the folder.

If there are problems with this, let me know, and I'll attempt to rectify them.

The recordings are labeled in the order we did them, and the name of the reader is in the filename.

...I wasn't originally planning on doing readings again for finals. However, I'd like to test recording on my computer (I _think_ I've figured it out) and at least one person seemed interested in it last Sunday.

So, if you want to hear more stories read, and/or join in with discussion or reading, upvote this comment. If it gets, I dunno, a half-dozen or more upvotes, I'll try and read a few more stories on Sunday, eight-ish my time. About 24 EDIT: Sorry, I said 24, but I'm tired. >.< I meant 36 hours after finals begins. About 8 in the evening for me, on Sunday. About midnight GMT?

I'm still trying to gauge people's reactions to this thing, so let me know.

With no further ado, the live readings have ended. I was joined by a handful of listeners, and a mysteeeerious reader calling themselves Changelin|mposter, and a good time was had by all.

If I remember correctly, I read:

Cryogenics Anonymous
Owl City
One Day I Shall See a Bird
Birds of a Feather
Swan and Albatross
The Red Forest
Second Chance
Some Food Court Take Out

While the strange and unforeseen man of the hour, our inimitable guest reader Changelin|mposter read:

Long Distance Call
One Step Too Far
A Beautiful Morning
Of Time and Indie Game Design

Perhaps one of these stories was yours! Most of the stream was recorded, (except possibly the last story) by Murmurpunk. If all goes well, I'll do a bit of editing on that and post it to this thread in the next few days.

For now, I'm going to judge this experiment a success.

I don't make promises, but I enjoyed myself and others seemed to be having fun as well, so there's a pretty good chance that this will happen again at some point. Maybe next round. We will see.

...have been taken down! If you still want a copy of one, msg me.

This time, I read:

A Brown Coffer
Ringer
The Hillside Path
A Pocketful of Time
The Prison of our Minds
Circles Never Stop Themselves

And Dubs read:

Collector
When Time Doesn't Help

I also read Wounds, but with trying to figure out my recording software, I missed it. I'm sorry, Author.

These have been minimally processed, to cut out some noise and minimize volume differences. I apologize for the coughs and clacking; I forgot push-to-talk didn't mute my recording.

EDIT: >>horizon I somehow lost this while editing. I'd be worried the reply wouldn't register, but we don't register replies anyways. :P

----------

There was a long moment of silence.

"Are you certain that wasn't a potty squirm?" Celestia asked plaintively.

Parade Rest's eyes widened. She threw her head back, stomped a hoof, and whipped out a parade-perfect salute. "We in the Royal Guard do not have bladders we are aware of! Ma'am!"

Celestia snorted, nearly inhaling her quill pen.

"Or," Parade continued, leaning in conspiratorially, "at least not that we will admit to on guard duty. Although recruits with a cutie mark in bladder control are certainly sought after."

"I see Shining Armor's reforms are making their presence felt," Celestia said dryly. Uncomfortable silence returned for a moment, but she continued before her fading blush could return. "I apologize. You asked me about the... wheatgrass reserve."

"I spoke out of line!" Parade Rest yelped. "No need to--"

"No, no, it's not... classified or something like that." Celestia sighed. "There are simply some memories associated with it I would prefer to let lie. You see, I was a teenager for nearly two hundred years."



"Princess, it is time for court."

"Just five more minutes..."



"And although my sister tempered the worst of my mistakes, I was far from invulnerable to common foolishness."



"Pies are weapons of war, and so should be outlawed."

"And cakes, your highness?"

"EDICT REDACTED!"



"Truthfully, I have been through just about every single phase that affects ponykind at one time or another." She smiled wryly. "Including, of course, the health fads."



"Luna, I have decided to go hypervegan."

"Celestia, we're frakking ponies. I don't think you can go any more--

"I shall require much hay. Royal Scribes! Prepare an edict!"



"And the National 'Strategic' " - Parade could hear the scarequotes - "Wheatgrass Reserve was part of one of those. The name is, I admit, a bit of an overstatement. Truth be told, I should decommission it. But it serves as a useful reminder to think things through. And it does get some use. We mow it every year, of course, but it's truly more of a tactical reserve."

"A... tactical wheatgrass reserve."

"Mmm."

"How can a wheatgrass reserve be--"

Parade Rest cut off as three loud raps sounded on the study door. She nodded to the Princess and cracked it open. Six pairs of golden eyes peered in at her. She swung it wider to reveal a cohort of Night Guards, some of whom she recognized.

"Private Parade Rest?" The leader's voice was night breeze on silk curtains.

"Captain Brightmoon!" She saluted.

"We've been sent to relieve you. With your leave, Highness?"

Celestia frowned, but nodded judiciously. Parade stepped out, and Cloudshadow stepped in, passing her with a wink. When the door closed, Parade turned to Brightmoon.

"May I ask what this is about?"

"Princess Luna requires your presence." Brightmoon shrugged. "Something about a... tactical reserve?"

--------

I'm going to hit post and this is going to be ungodly long isn't it. >.<

Writing music: David's Jig - Natalie McMaster