Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.

All In
FiM Minific
The Twilight Zone
FiM Minific
It's Over
The Twilight Zone
FiM Minific
A Good Life in Equestria
#8689 · 5
· on Subject Theta 32
I have to say that I personally don't like the SCP format that much, and the censoring kind of drives me bananas. I know that's me as a reader, not any fault of this as a story.

It's not actually a story as such, though, so I don't feel hugely guilty for not loving it. It feels like the intro to an actual story, more than anything else.
#8562 · 3
· on The Twilight Show · >>Fenton
Well, I get the reference on this one, at least! It's a decent concept, pretty well written. I think my only complaint is it feels like there's a bit of a plot hole with Sunset's role here. So Twilight became a princess and then was sent to be tested? But Sunset was tested first and then chose not to become a princess? That seemed odd. Otherwise, though, it works very well for what it is.
#8573 · 3
· on The Obsolete Pony · >>Zaid Val'Roa
Well, that was unexpectedly tragic. It felt kind of jerky and awkward,and extremely tell-y verses showing things. I know the word constraints are part of that, but I think something could probably be done to make it a little less abrupt.
#8598 · 3
· on Invaders From Another World
This is another one where I quite like the concept, but the execution needs a lot of work. Something is odd with the formatting, but also the story itself has a lot of awkward, blunt, telling where showing would probably work better. It is a very solid idea, though, so I think it could be polished up and improved quite a lot!
#8616 · 3
· on The Town
Huh. That makes two fics where I have to agree with Spike. “What the hay did I just read!?” indeed.

It feels like gore for the sake of gore. I don't get why the "Twilight Zone" style story is in a book and Twilight is refusing to read it. (And why is she making her baby dragon little brother read something too terrible for her? That makes even less sense than anything else here does! Why does she smile about having traumatized him? Is that supposed to be the creepy twist? If so, it needs some heavy re-working.) The main story itself is just... random. Weird. Pointless. Overly violent. Even if we accept that this "Emily" and her otherworldly friend are violent psychopaths, the background ponies in the town also go from zero to murder really readily. Maybe that would work better in a longer format, but I'm not sure it would. Overall it seems like it's trying too hard to be shocking, and so it ends up just feeling shallow and pointless. Honestly toning down the level of violence would make it feel a lot more real and thus actually more creepy.
#8622 · 3
· on True Ascension
Hmm. I feel like this uses up a lot of words covering ground we already know at the beginning, then slaps the twist on very quickly and doesn't do much with it. It does remind me of The Egg also, but if that's where it's going, The Egg didn't just tell, it showed what was going on. This just has Celestia making a bald assertion, and nothing in particular backs it up. It also doesn't go anywhere in particular. I feel like Twilight should somehow experience that everything is her, or the story should end with skipping ahead to this true ascension, or something.

It has some promise, but in the end I think it's wasting the concept by not actually exploring it.
#8636 · 3
· on The Meaning of Being Dead
It's funny, because while I overall think Horizon raises a lot of good points, I really disagree with the idea that this should be "off" or in any way creepy or weird at the beginning. Although this has a Twilight Zone kind of premise in some ways, it doesn't feel to me like that's its strength, it feels to me like the real core of it is the sweetness of the interaction between friends, and also the sweetness of Twilight's reasons for hanging around. It feels very true to the spirit (ha ha!) of the show, and I like that.

This is actually very near the top of my list, right now.
#8648 · 3
· on The Masquerade · >>CoffeeMinion >>Fenton
I have a funny feeling the pony in question is Princess Luna... But whether she is or not, I quite like this one. It feels like it could be the start of something else. It's a little weak as a stand-alone scene, but it would be a pretty strong intro to say a Fancy/Luna shipping fic or something of that nature.
#8662 · 3
· on Transcript of Interview - 0101730A · >>Zaid Val'Roa
I think I've missed something. The setup is pretty clear, Twilight didn't go to Ponyville, because she never wrote Celestia a letter about finding the old prophecy, and then she used dark magic to... do something?

And the celebration was cancelled, and somehow that... what, exactly? Stopped Nightmare Moon from coming back? How? Why? Or was she somehow never banished at all, if there weren't spots on the moon, now there are. So... Twilight banished herself to the moon somehow? Or the original spots were there and now there are more because... who else got banished? Why? And the sun isn't coming up? But if the sun hasn't come up, why are the guards acting like that's normal? I'm afraid this leaves me really confused.
#8679 · 3
· on A Riveting (If Abridged) Tale of Galactic Conquest · >>AndrewRogue
It's a cute little slice of life. I feel like the connection to the prompt is preeeeeeeeeeetty tenuous here, since it's the made up name of a made up game, but hey, at least it's not another fic centering entirely on Twilight Sparkle for its connection to the prompt, so good for that.