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Ribbon
FiM Minific
45th
33%
44
Princess Party
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Original Minific
23rd
29%
34
From Above
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FiM Minific
22nd
19%
17
The Missing Piece... of Cake
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FiM Minific
41st
17%
14
The New Castle
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FiM Minific
33rd
16%
13
Catsitter
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FiM Minific
53rd
12%
8
Monsters
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FiM Minific
41st
11%
7
The Headache
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FiM Minific
22nd
0%
0
A Slow Death
#8404 · 5
·
You're sitting at the computert.You're totally alone and your imagination is shot. Then out of the corner of the internet you see it...
Fim fic Writeoff

It kindles something, deep in your mind. It taunts you with promise. The waiting begins...
Fim Fic Writeoff

You submit a prompt and hope it'll win, then you go to vote, there are all sorts of prompts, my god there are prompts every where!

Writing full of strife!
Fim fic writeoff

Ignoring your wife
fim fic writeoff

Running short on submission time
Television fan story Fim Fic Writeoff

Tiny pony story
Fim Fic Writeoff

Don't reveal who you are
fim fic writeoff

Vote for the star
fim fic writeoff

Crazy minific contest Fim Fic write off

... That's all I got... I'll see myself out.
#10930 · 5
·
William Antonelli died last year on Thanksgiving surrounded by loved ones. He was a Korean War vet who was an avid Steelers and Pirates fan. He was 83 years old.
#4718 · 4
· · >>CoffeeMinion
Time to write something and hope!
#5166 · 4
· on SATISFACTION GUARANTEED · >>Tumbleweed
It could have worked. In this case I would have liked to have seen the routine that they went through because it's important to the Flim and Flam characters. When selling liquid courage (in this case booze spiked with something else) one typically had to indicate one of three things which were: be cool like the spokesperson, have a good time and/or you're going to get laid. This pitch does none of that really and feels more like a hard sell by a desperate mall worker who hasn't been able to move the smoked meat logs because they look like dried out something else.

So, if this story instead focused on a main character who sees this pitch, buys the drink, uses it and suffers some of the consequences and reads the side effects it probably would have tickled me more.

As it stands I just don't buy the pitch.
#4774 · 3
·
HA! I had a bad idea and I ran with it like I do with scissors!
#7097 · 3
· on The New Castle · >>CoffeeMinion
All of the comments here are fair based upon the story as it is written. It's not great. It's all over the place.

I suppose the most honest answer for how it came out the way it did is simply haste. I found out about this event about 22-25 minutes before I had to go to work. I wouldn't have been able to submit anything by the time I got back from work so I had to do this thing fast.

In between getting ready for work and writing I basically just threw together the first thing that popped into mind as I went along. I picked two characters, a setting and then tossed it into a blender and hit frappe. By the time I was done I had head out.

I knew it wasn't good. I didn't expect this to do well. I certainly knew it wouldn't make it into the final and truthfully I didn't care about any of that. I'd cranked out something very basic quickly that I can go back to and pick out the parts that I think work and make something more concrete.
#8965 · 3
· on The Obsolete Pony
It's not a bad story. This would have actually worked better with a pony like Pinkie Pie than Twilight. The reasons for that in my opinion are as follows: 1.) She's an apprentice baker and being "killed" by a cannon filled with baked goods would be poetic. 2.) She's shown the ability to build a variety of machines and what not so, her ability to create a complex lock that would take a long time work through without magic could be in her skill set. 3.) She's shown that she can basically break herself apart and put herself back together. This wouldn't kill her she'd just have to reassemble. 4.) This would be one heck of a "trick" to play on her enemy and you know she's good at pulling those off.
#9223 · 3
· on Monsters
Ah my crappy little story. Well, first off I didn't edit it other than to omit parts and shift things around that I'd imagined in period of time I worked on it. I had something more elaborate in mind but... 750 words is just that and so like someone cutting down an R rated movie movie for a G rated tv station I had to omit and change a bunch of things on the fly. By the time I was done I had to go to sleep.

Second I was more interested in telling a Twilight Zone/Tales From the Crypt/Creepshow type story (The first of which had a story end similar to mine though with admittedly better build up) more than I was concerned about the FiM universe, canon or otherwise. It's also why I didn't use preexisting characters (to the best of my knowledge). With stuff I've made up I can do whatever I really want and it's not out of character.

As far as the hooves and tools issue: they've shown in the show that there is some sort of squeezing, clutching capability with the hooves. There are handles on tea cups and and tea pots so they can grip with them. As far as the gun issue goes, if cannons exist in this world so do guns. The design would probably be sans trigger guard though due to a lack of fingers. The gun itself I should have noted was a revolver with five shots. She'd used one each on her husband and his lover before firing into the woods.

The autocoach: This was one of those changes on the fly. Initially I'd had it planned that that the rain was going to stop a little earlier before the monster showed up. When it did she would fire twice into the woods as she backed away, she'd slip, fall and the gun would go off and strike her in one of her back legs. Limping through the woods, certain the creature was behind her she'd come across a cabin with the light on and beg for help. The owner wouldn't be very willing at first but she'd say she was hurt and so he'd unlock the door and let her in. Things would go from there. In the end though she was still going to be out of bullets and would meet her own fate at the maws of weretimberwolves.

I didn't have space for that. I'd already had her backstory in there so, autocoach and wrap it up.

Will I ever go back to this? I dunno. I've hated working on the longer version of The Princess Party so much that I'm more than reluctant to write much of anything anymore.
#10693 · 3
· on Drip · >>TitaniumDragon >>Fenton >>georg
Hmm... I don't think that company knows what they're in for with Oliver. Truth be told it might have just been cheaper to call a plumber but, this piece is an exercise in absurdity. I did chuckle a bit at the situation in which he found himself. I find the story somewhat relatable, in that there were times I'd tried to fix something only to find out what I was trying to fix was either outside my skill set or wasn't what was actually broken.

That said it could have stood to have just a bit more meat on its bones. A few reactions from Oliver might have reinforced Oliver's decent into madness and if possible seeing some of his failed attempts at fixing things could have been fun.

The story is fun it just needs more.
#4721 · 2
·
I'm sort of wondering... what if TBD IS the prompt and we're all just waiting. Then it never changes. We keep waking up every day waiting for the prompt to change but it never changes. We're stuck in an infinite loop of waiting. Waiting for Godot.