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Show rules for this event
Hi.
Do you have a moment to fill out my survey? I promise it won't take long. In fact there is only one question:
Answer carefully. Lives are at stake.
Do you have a moment to fill out my survey? I promise it won't take long. In fact there is only one question:
Q: If you could be any bird, which would you be and why?
Answer carefully. Lives are at stake.
>>Miller Minus
Okay I'll go first.
I would be a blue jay because Toronto's baseball team is the Toronto Blue Jays and since I live in Toronto I think people would be nice to me and feed me seeds and nuts and rashers (the vegetarian kind) and I would bring them good luck on game nights but I would stay away from the stadium because if I was hit by a stray baseball I would explode in a puff of beautiful blue feathers. And then I would bird-haunt the team and make sure they lose.
I also think that blue jays get all the honeys because I only ever see them in pairs whereas lots of other birds I see alone all the time and I don't think I'd be very good at being a lone wolf (especially considering I will be a bird and not a wolf).
Okay I'll go first.
I would be a blue jay because Toronto's baseball team is the Toronto Blue Jays and since I live in Toronto I think people would be nice to me and feed me seeds and nuts and rashers (the vegetarian kind) and I would bring them good luck on game nights but I would stay away from the stadium because if I was hit by a stray baseball I would explode in a puff of beautiful blue feathers. And then I would bird-haunt the team and make sure they lose.
I also think that blue jays get all the honeys because I only ever see them in pairs whereas lots of other birds I see alone all the time and I don't think I'd be very good at being a lone wolf (especially considering I will be a bird and not a wolf).
>>Miller Minus
I gotta say, my only real criteria for a bird is that they be able to fly really high — like, above the clouds. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always leaned towards Pegasi in those “Which pony race would you be?” surveys. Being able to fly among the clouds during sunset has always been a dream of mine.
So, bird that can fly high... does a hawk work?
I gotta say, my only real criteria for a bird is that they be able to fly really high — like, above the clouds. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always leaned towards Pegasi in those “Which pony race would you be?” surveys. Being able to fly among the clouds during sunset has always been a dream of mine.
So, bird that can fly high... does a hawk work?
>>Miller Minus
I note that you did not specify bird species. You specified "any bird".
So I would become the Road Runner from the Wile E. Coyote cartoons. Functional immortality (as a cartoon), super speed, the power to warp reality as long as it's funny, and the world's unluckiest super genius as my only rival.
Then I just have to find Pinkie Pie and team up with her to break the fourth wall and get out of 2-d existence, and the world is mine for the taking. Meep meep.
I note that you did not specify bird species. You specified "any bird".
So I would become the Road Runner from the Wile E. Coyote cartoons. Functional immortality (as a cartoon), super speed, the power to warp reality as long as it's funny, and the world's unluckiest super genius as my only rival.
Then I just have to find Pinkie Pie and team up with her to break the fourth wall and get out of 2-d existence, and the world is mine for the taking. Meep meep.
>>Miller Minus
The mighty seagull.
Let the world be my oyster, my friends be many, and none dare give me guff lest my whole tribe defecate upon them.
The mighty seagull.
Let the world be my oyster, my friends be many, and none dare give me guff lest my whole tribe defecate upon them.
>>Miller Minus
I would be a swan.
A dramatic bird, but it dresses rather plainly. It stays loyal for life, and only has a small group of friends and, in other words, not a very social bird... Will also stab you if you get too close.
🔪🦢
I would be a swan.
A dramatic bird, but it dresses rather plainly. It stays loyal for life, and only has a small group of friends and, in other words, not a very social bird... Will also stab you if you get too close.
🔪🦢
>>Miller Minus
A blue jay is probably a good bird to be in Toronto. A seagull is not. Just ask Dave Winfield. Or a dove in Tucson, if Randy Johnson is around.
A blue jay is probably a good bird to be in Toronto. A seagull is not. Just ask Dave Winfield. Or a dove in Tucson, if Randy Johnson is around.
>>Miller Minus
I'm tempted to say:
Andrew Bird 'cause he's such a fine fiddler and whistler, but instead, I'll go with everybody's pal the penguin 'cause I once won $10 for writing a poem about them.
Mike
I'm tempted to say:
Andrew Bird 'cause he's such a fine fiddler and whistler, but instead, I'll go with everybody's pal the penguin 'cause I once won $10 for writing a poem about them.
Mike
>>Miller Minus
An Osprey
I just watched Longmire, so this is the first bird that comes to mind. It is mentioned it is good at fishing, but not good at getting it home.
Idk, part of me feels like my choice is cliche. However, if lives are a stake, then I hold back nothing.
Go save some lives, Miller! :rainbowdetermined:
An Osprey
I just watched Longmire, so this is the first bird that comes to mind. It is mentioned it is good at fishing, but not good at getting it home.
Idk, part of me feels like my choice is cliche. However, if lives are a stake, then I hold back nothing.
Go save some lives, Miller! :rainbowdetermined:
>>Miller Minus
I’ll go with being the Deathbird.
No matter how long everyone else lasts, I’ll be the one who turns out the lights.
I’ll go with being the Deathbird.
No matter how long everyone else lasts, I’ll be the one who turns out the lights.
I'm back bitches :V
(no, seriously this time)
Hopefully we'll have more than three minutes to read and review and vote on stories. :derpytongue2: GaPJaxie's thing was fun but I have my limits and I really miss these quality events.
I'm tempted to return to the server just so I stop missing these events and know what's going on, but I still feel bad after the trouble I caused. Either way, I've recovered a lot from my two medical issues so I'm able to participate again.
(no, seriously this time)
Hopefully we'll have more than three minutes to read and review and vote on stories. :derpytongue2: GaPJaxie's thing was fun but I have my limits and I really miss these quality events.
I'm tempted to return to the server just so I stop missing these events and know what's going on, but I still feel bad after the trouble I caused. Either way, I've recovered a lot from my two medical issues so I'm able to participate again.
>>Miller Minus
Is the middle finger taken?
I have a bird friend (he's an eagle) and he believes all birds are insane. I don't have many data points on that but my limited research is consistent with the hypothesis.
I'm tempted to be a cockatiel which Google is trying to correct to cockatrice because they're the sweetest little birds. Though my fave mundane bird I've known personally was a green Amazon who I kept in my house. Also crows and ravens are nice and smart. And then there's the ones that puff up all crazy and dance when they want to smash. You can't help but like that. And budgies have the most redonkulous ahegao you've ever seen.
Hmm. It's hard to decide. I'm a wolf and I've never given this much thought.
Is the middle finger taken?
I have a bird friend (he's an eagle) and he believes all birds are insane. I don't have many data points on that but my limited research is consistent with the hypothesis.
I'm tempted to be a cockatiel which Google is trying to correct to cockatrice because they're the sweetest little birds. Though my fave mundane bird I've known personally was a green Amazon who I kept in my house. Also crows and ravens are nice and smart. And then there's the ones that puff up all crazy and dance when they want to smash. You can't help but like that. And budgies have the most redonkulous ahegao you've ever seen.
Hmm. It's hard to decide. I'm a wolf and I've never given this much thought.
The Howl in the Dark 2: Electric Boogaloo
On the Wing
End of an Era
Under Old Management
We're in a nostalgic mood this round, aren't we?
>>Bachiavellian
Something something end of show and final BronyCon. :-(
As usual for the last freaking year, my schedule tomorrow has more conflicts than a soap that’s been running since the 60s... but I’m going to get one in for old time’s sake, even if I end up posting Limestone at 4am. >:-|
Something something end of show and final BronyCon. :-(
As usual for the last freaking year, my schedule tomorrow has more conflicts than a soap that’s been running since the 60s... but I’m going to get one in for old time’s sake, even if I end up posting Limestone at 4am. >:-|
>>Miller Minus
Mockingbird. I like the idea of being able to sing others' songs without judgement and fly just high enough to get the feeling without getting fear of heights.
Besides, it's a sin to kill them.
Mockingbird. I like the idea of being able to sing others' songs without judgement and fly just high enough to get the feeling without getting fear of heights.
Besides, it's a sin to kill them.
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Guinness is my personal beer of choice. Though an occasional whiskey sits well with me too.
Guinness is my personal beer of choice. Though an occasional whiskey sits well with me too.
>>Miller Minus
I pick a scarlet ibis, because that's my computer's name ("ibis") and who doesn't want to be a computer.
I pick a scarlet ibis, because that's my computer's name ("ibis") and who doesn't want to be a computer.
ship it
Well, I've never been good at this topic in the first place. I want to give it a whirl though.
>>PinoyPony
"this topic"
You might want to think outside the box if you think this two-word prompt is only one topic.
(not that I ever want to discourage shipping, mind you)
"this topic"
You might want to think outside the box if you think this two-word prompt is only one topic.
(not that I ever want to discourage shipping, mind you)
A couple of motivational videos on the prompt that might inspire y'all:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdtTfQJCO2Y
(I wish there were a PMV of this.)
Shipping Times
(Okay, this one's mine. The video is embedded in the story.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdtTfQJCO2Y
(I wish there were a PMV of this.)
Shipping Times
(Okay, this one's mine. The video is embedded in the story.)
>>PinoyPony
>>Flashgen
>>Trick_Question
Yeah, my thought from Discord was that people could just as easily take it in the direction of either boats or the transportation of goods. Not everything must always be romantic horses! :-p
>>Flashgen
>>Trick_Question
Yeah, my thought from Discord was that people could just as easily take it in the direction of either boats or the transportation of goods. Not everything must always be romantic horses! :-p
Last FiM minific round before the show ends, huh? I'll be around in #mentors or available via PM. if anyone wants.
Been a long time since I tried one of these. What time is the deadline again? Midnight tomorrow?
>>Pascoite
Don't you dare imply we're not doing FiM rounds forever! (Besides, half the stories I write fit into Season 1.)
Don't you dare imply we're not doing FiM rounds forever! (Besides, half the stories I write fit into Season 1.)
I'm officially in for the first time in forever.
And I think I got this one. :raritywink:
And I think I got this one. :raritywink:
Oh boy I guess this is happening!
...is it too late for me to say I want to be the Great Potoo?
...is it too late for me to say I want to be the Great Potoo?
Eh, spent too much time organizing my personal lists and hanging out with family to do anything for this round. I'll be sure to read everybody else's though.
Well, my first idea looked fun, but it turned out that I couldn't find a way to write it that wouldn't go incredibly creepy places if looked at from a slight angle, and I couldn't obscure the angle either.
My second idea had a structure that looked like it would fit together well, and then I wrote myself into a corner full of cactus in a way that left the main narrative dangling completely unmotivated and insufficiently causal.
But I think mostly what's happening is my brain's not cooperating, because it wants very much to obsess over something else, which is admittedly probably more important.
I guess I'm probably out this time. :raritydespair:
My second idea had a structure that looked like it would fit together well, and then I wrote myself into a corner full of cactus in a way that left the main narrative dangling completely unmotivated and insufficiently causal.
But I think mostly what's happening is my brain's not cooperating, because it wants very much to obsess over something else, which is admittedly probably more important.
I guess I'm probably out this time. :raritydespair:
>>GrandMoffPony
Neat, but might take a bit to get used to. My icon is way too bright for it.
(Secretly, I was hoping the only difference between normal and dark mode would be Goth Celestia in the background.)
Neat, but might take a bit to get used to. My icon is way too bright for it.
(Secretly, I was hoping the only difference between normal and dark mode would be Goth Celestia in the background.)
I'm way rusty on the review/voting procedure. Isn't there a minimum number that each entrant is supposed to review at this point?
>>GrandMoffPony
“Supposed to” has at times led to controversy. Personally, I try to give feedback on all the stories on my voting slate. Not everyone always does; sometimes I miss some, too. But please don’t feel overly obligated. Comment joyfully, as it were.
“Supposed to” has at times led to controversy. Personally, I try to give feedback on all the stories on my voting slate. Not everyone always does; sometimes I miss some, too. But please don’t feel overly obligated. Comment joyfully, as it were.
>>GrandMoffPony
You aren't obligated to review anything unless you want to.
You should try to vote on as many stories as you can (at least your slate), but even that isn't compulsory.
You aren't obligated to review anything unless you want to.
You should try to vote on as many stories as you can (at least your slate), but even that isn't compulsory.
I'd like to take this moment to point out that sometimes my reviews seem much harsher than I intend. I am opinionated and passionate and lambasting your story does not mean I didn't enjoy reading it.
Okay! I'm all done levying unrequested advice on how to write your stories the way I would have written them, which to be completely honest would not necessarily have made them better.
My two top stories are:
Can You Hear Me?
Laissez-Fate
It was hard ranking stories this round, but those two were pretty much absent of flaws for my read.
Sadly, I thought my story would do better than it almost certainly will. But humbling myself by reading stories much better than mine and getting useful feedback are the reasons the Writeoff continues to be amazing.
My two top stories are:
Can You Hear Me?
Laissez-Fate
It was hard ranking stories this round, but those two were pretty much absent of flaws for my read.
Sadly, I thought my story would do better than it almost certainly will. But humbling myself by reading stories much better than mine and getting useful feedback are the reasons the Writeoff continues to be amazing.
>>Trick_Question
It's called a soft or weak scene break, and it's a valid convention, even officially endorsed by this site's style guide.
As you observe, however, the use of the soft break is dubious here, as it is a significant skip and there's no reason not to use a horizontal rule (hard break) to delineate the sections. That said, it might be worth keeping the horizontal rule out, so the flow -- nee, progression -- is not so greatly disturbed.
What do y'all ponies have against an hr tag, anyhow?
It's called a soft or weak scene break, and it's a valid convention, even officially endorsed by this site's style guide.
As you observe, however, the use of the soft break is dubious here, as it is a significant skip and there's no reason not to use a horizontal rule (hard break) to delineate the sections. That said, it might be worth keeping the horizontal rule out, so the flow -- nee, progression -- is not so greatly disturbed.
>>KwirkyJ
Thanks. I totes didn't know the site encouraged those.
Personally, I don't like soft breaks in a format where every paragraph is already separated by a blank line. It looks more like a mistake, and it distracts me. This is especially true in a minific: do you really need two kinds of scene break if your entire fic is less than 751 words? But a lot of this is just my personal preference.
Thanks. I totes didn't know the site encouraged those.
Personally, I don't like soft breaks in a format where every paragraph is already separated by a blank line. It looks more like a mistake, and it distracts me. This is especially true in a minific: do you really need two kinds of scene break if your entire fic is less than 751 words? But a lot of this is just my personal preference.
Well guys, I’ve got one more review to post, but some mashup inspiration struck me so I decided to write that first. It’s been awesome being back among y’all. We’ve got some good stories this time, and I can tell people were having fun with the prompt!
So without further ado:
Laissez-Silence: One of Cadance’s less-dominant personalities begins bugging her about not knowing what semen looks like even though she’s the “princess of love.” Desperate to silence the voice, she casts Summon Roofie on Soarin, who just happens to be the first cute jock she runs into. However, upon witnessing this, a Canadian bluebird begins attacking her, drawing the aid (and moral outrage) of Class President Shining Armor. A nearby wolf’s howling provides the soundtrack to the ensuing mortal combat.
Special Parcel Delivery: Derpy’s been dead for the last sixteen years, but she keeps forgetting about this and showing up to work anyway. After working through his obvious alarm at the presence of the undead in the workplace, Derpy’s boss has successfully launched a side-gig of having her carry messages to loved ones beyond the veil. Things get awkward with the Apple clan—some of the P.O.’s most faithful customers—when Dinky meets a tragic and untimely end and finally corners her mom to talk about retiring.
You Get An F In Shepherding: Disaffected teenage Flurry Heart is looking to earn a little spending money, so she applies for an opening as Equestria’s Dream Protector on a whim—and aces the interview. Determined to use her newfound powers to make Equestria’s relationships great again, she unleashes unspeakable destruction upon families and other romantic partnerships across the land. It’s bad enough that Luna is forced to come out of retirement to try to stop her, but she’s unprepared to handle Flurry’s sass. It’s ultimately Twilight who talks Flurry down by pointing out how iffy it is that Flurry only seems to pair ponies of the same color together.
Lover Contingency: A story wherein the author couldn’t decide who to pair Dash with, wrote themselves all the way up to 750 words, then shrugged and shouted: “Ship it!”
So without further ado:
Laissez-Silence: One of Cadance’s less-dominant personalities begins bugging her about not knowing what semen looks like even though she’s the “princess of love.” Desperate to silence the voice, she casts Summon Roofie on Soarin, who just happens to be the first cute jock she runs into. However, upon witnessing this, a Canadian bluebird begins attacking her, drawing the aid (and moral outrage) of Class President Shining Armor. A nearby wolf’s howling provides the soundtrack to the ensuing mortal combat.
Special Parcel Delivery: Derpy’s been dead for the last sixteen years, but she keeps forgetting about this and showing up to work anyway. After working through his obvious alarm at the presence of the undead in the workplace, Derpy’s boss has successfully launched a side-gig of having her carry messages to loved ones beyond the veil. Things get awkward with the Apple clan—some of the P.O.’s most faithful customers—when Dinky meets a tragic and untimely end and finally corners her mom to talk about retiring.
You Get An F In Shepherding: Disaffected teenage Flurry Heart is looking to earn a little spending money, so she applies for an opening as Equestria’s Dream Protector on a whim—and aces the interview. Determined to use her newfound powers to make Equestria’s relationships great again, she unleashes unspeakable destruction upon families and other romantic partnerships across the land. It’s bad enough that Luna is forced to come out of retirement to try to stop her, but she’s unprepared to handle Flurry’s sass. It’s ultimately Twilight who talks Flurry down by pointing out how iffy it is that Flurry only seems to pair ponies of the same color together.
Lover Contingency: A story wherein the author couldn’t decide who to pair Dash with, wrote themselves all the way up to 750 words, then shrugged and shouted: “Ship it!”
>>CoffeeMinion
Had I been imbibing a liquid, it would have evacuated through my nostrils. A perfectly Prachett-esque take on failing to acknowledge one's expiration, I must say!
Derpy’s been dead for the last sixteen years, but she keeps forgetting about this and showing up to work anyway.
Had I been imbibing a liquid, it would have evacuated through my nostrils. A perfectly Prachett-esque take on failing to acknowledge one's expiration, I must say!
"Derpy, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead!"
"Sorry, Rainbow Dash -- my bad!"
"Seriously, that's, like, the third time this week! Go home!"
>>CoffeeMinion
Due to unfortunate circumstances that have recently developed, I think if I talk in the Discord server, I owe Coffee a quarter. Or a soda, or an icecream, or something. So I'm just gonna do some more Mashups instead.
It's No Sender: In the throes of an Equestrian sex shortage, Cadance breaks into the bedroom of two retired Wonderbolts to get a good whiff of that delicious spent semen smell.
Lover. Bake. Cupcake: It was the fucking bird bath. We can all go home now.
When Pinkiean Knots Collide: Officer Shining Armor arrests Rainbow Dash for making out with his sister. Dash desperately tries to explain that Twilight wanted it.
Bon Contingency: Vinyl Scratch wonders why Octavia doesn't come back for her toothbrush, unaware that she has simply bought a new disposable headpiece from the manufacturer.
Shepherdess Handling a Cupcake: On a whim, Luna asks a flustered Fluttershy to craft a dream for her in which she is "shipped." We're going to have to skip the dream Fluttershy creates, due to rating. Really.
Due to unfortunate circumstances that have recently developed, I think if I talk in the Discord server, I owe Coffee a quarter. Or a soda, or an icecream, or something. So I'm just gonna do some more Mashups instead.
It's No Sender: In the throes of an Equestrian sex shortage, Cadance breaks into the bedroom of two retired Wonderbolts to get a good whiff of that delicious spent semen smell.
Lover. Bake. Cupcake: It was the fucking bird bath. We can all go home now.
When Pinkiean Knots Collide: Officer Shining Armor arrests Rainbow Dash for making out with his sister. Dash desperately tries to explain that Twilight wanted it.
Bon Contingency: Vinyl Scratch wonders why Octavia doesn't come back for her toothbrush, unaware that she has simply bought a new disposable headpiece from the manufacturer.
Shepherdess Handling a Cupcake: On a whim, Luna asks a flustered Fluttershy to craft a dream for her in which she is "shipped." We're going to have to skip the dream Fluttershy creates, due to rating. Really.
It's never a good sign for self-esteem when you're prepping for your retro and you have to start with an apology.
(no, I didn't write that one)
(no, I didn't write that one)
Okay I'm tired and I knew I shouldn't have procrastinated so much, but one last congratulations to everybody this round. Lots of high quality entries, and many, many difficult ranking decisions. We did great work this week and everybody should be proud of themselves and each other no matter where the chips fall in an hour and a half.
You're all lovely.
You're all lovely.
Congrats to the winners!
As for me: this was by far my most coherent (and based on comments, well received) entry to date. And I still landed 3rd to last.
Maybe I need special handling to get into the top half, lol. xD
Until next time!
As for me: this was by far my most coherent (and based on comments, well received) entry to date. And I still landed 3rd to last.
Maybe I need special handling to get into the top half, lol. xD
Until next time!
>>GrandMoffPony
The main issue I had was that I was confused about what was going on in Luna's head. For me, I think this could be a fine story if that were a little clearer.
I feel it deserved to come in higher than third-to-last place, but comedies are often hit-or-miss with readers.
The main issue I had was that I was confused about what was going on in Luna's head. For me, I think this could be a fine story if that were a little clearer.
I feel it deserved to come in higher than third-to-last place, but comedies are often hit-or-miss with readers.
So there I was, promising to vote on everybody's story for the last MLP minific round to be done while the show is still airing. I was certain, absolutely positive I would be able to participate in this group consistently for the first time in years.
Then the first week of school happened. Then the FimFic story I needed to submit before I get in trouble. Then the giant category 5 hurricane currently bearing down on my location.
Bottom line, the line "Man plans, God laughs" is pretty accurate for a reason. Sorry I couldn't contribute to this round, but I voted on the pictures at least, and I'm going to try reading all the entries before Dorian cuts off my power. Thank you all for letting me lurk around this group, even if my critical input has been pretty minimal and my authorial output not the greatest.
Then the first week of school happened. Then the FimFic story I needed to submit before I get in trouble. Then the giant category 5 hurricane currently bearing down on my location.
Bottom line, the line "Man plans, God laughs" is pretty accurate for a reason. Sorry I couldn't contribute to this round, but I voted on the pictures at least, and I'm going to try reading all the entries before Dorian cuts off my power. Thank you all for letting me lurk around this group, even if my critical input has been pretty minimal and my authorial output not the greatest.
Nopony will read this since I can't reply to axxuy, but I wanted him(?) to know I liked his art compositionally. I actually voted for the art in the reverse order of what won. :derpytongue2:
However, all the arts were very nice. Thanks to y'all for submitting. :twilightsmile:
However, all the arts were very nice. Thanks to y'all for submitting. :twilightsmile:
Folder for this round has been created in our FIMFiction group:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200535/folder/68640/2019-08-ship-it
Standard disclaimer: As an anti-spam measure it requires group permissions of "Contributor" to post stories to the folder. Everyone who has joined the FIMFic group and has written at least one Writeoff story ever is eligible for Contributor status. If you don't have it, PM/DM/otherwise bug me and I'll get you fixed up.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200535/folder/68640/2019-08-ship-it
Standard disclaimer: As an anti-spam measure it requires group permissions of "Contributor" to post stories to the folder. Everyone who has joined the FIMFic group and has written at least one Writeoff story ever is eligible for Contributor status. If you don't have it, PM/DM/otherwise bug me and I'll get you fixed up.