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I am the eggplant.
Gold medal
She-Ra Minific
1st
100%
209
Fifteen Rules of Engagement: A Cadet's Guide
Ribbon
Original Minific
6th
85%
195
The Shooting Star
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FiM Minific
8th
82%
184
The Heart of Saturday Night
Confetti
Original Minific
6th
82%
181
The Burning
Bronze medalMortarboard
She-Ra Short Story
3rd
50%
126
"Fuck Adora!"
FiM Minific
16th
61%
61
Only the Strong Survive
Original Minific
9th
43%
60
My Beloved Husband
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She-Ra Short Story
4th
0%
0
The Castle Courtyard
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Original Minific
10th
36%
−7
Son the Father
#18665 · 6
·
Horse round, which means I'm in.
#17676 · 5
· on Perfect · >>Anon Y Mous
This fic left me confused, and not in a good way.

Context is important, even if there's a distinct lack of one, but the reason for Fluttershy being upset here is really weird, in that it doesn't really add up.

I'm pretty sure animals have died in her care, because animals die and death is a part of life and so on, so I don't know what the deal with that is. Of course animals die in her care.

Also, I'm not sure how this stallion came to say these things to Fluttershy, or how they even crossed paths.

Also also, I'm not sure, given how tell-y and blatant the message is, if this whole thing is meant to be taken straight or as a parody of a lower-tier episode of the show. Probably the former.

I think there's something good here, but it's really muddled as it is now.

I'm feeling a strong 5 to a light 6 on this.
#17727 · 5
· on A– · >>BlueChameleonVI >>Miller Minus >>Miller Minus
This entry is split into three sections, and two of them are great.

The first, unfortunately, is not one of those two. The setup is rough, and the exchange between Sunset and her teacher strikes me as rather cliched, in the sense that classroom exchanges don't really sound like this.

I guess it came off as inauthentic, which is a shame because the other sections came off as anything but inauthentic.

Personally I'm not familiar with the idea of Sunset coming from a poor family, but regardless I think it's handled masterfully here, with far more subtlety and emotional depth than the first section.

You can still see that bratty side of Sunset, long before she redeemed herself, but you can also see a Sunset desperate to climb out of her bad position in life. I found myself disliking and yet also sympathizing with her.

I knew people who were like Sunset when they were kids, so I think that adds to the emotional weight.

I'm feeling a decent to strong 8 on this.
#17677 · 4
· on Thank You for Coming · >>Chris
Guys, I'm having a dilemma at the moment.

I found this fic funny, but not exactly good...?

I laughed because of how schizophrenic it got with the tone and how rabid Starlight and Sunset got, but at the same time none of this makes any sense.

At the same time I suspect this wasn't supposed to make sense, but even if we're being generous with characterization flexibility this is really jarring.

Also agreeing with >>Trick_Question about the ending punchline, which felt really... off somehow.

I guess I can't give this such a low rating, considering it is a comedy and I did laugh outright a couple times, but again I'm not sure if those laughs were earned.

I'm feeling a light to decent 6 on this.
#17811 · 4
· on Griswielda's Fortune · >>Trick_Question >>Miller Minus
That was fucked up, if you stop to think about it, but also very funny.

Funny in kind of an internal way, not so much external. I didn't laugh, but I really wanted to.

I like how you can read this story without any knowledge of the show and still appreciate it to a great degree, but knowing the show and how griffons usually behave certainly enhances the experience.

I love the title. It's like a perfect short story title in that it's concise but conveys more than one meaning. Great.

The prose is also pretty solid, although there are a few word choices that made me pause. I think I'm also lighter on this area because it's a comedy, and because there's not really any proofreading I would honestly recommend.

Griswielda is a fully formed character in the short time we spend with her, and she is both a scoundrel and also someone you kinda wanna see get away with everything, even though you know she probably won't.

I feel like the ending could've hit harder, but it was done competently, and I didn't feel cheated or anything.

I'm feeling a strong 8 to a very light 9 on this.
#17673 · 3
· on A Little Shortcut
That was a thing.

Hmm, yes, that was indeed a thing.

I like how Rarity having wings is treated almost passively so that the reader has to do a double take to notice something's very wrong here. I also like how Pinkie's walking-on-the-ceiling bit is kind of a reference to that one episode with the Cake twins.

Or maybe that was just a coincidence and I'm trying to pull more from this fic than is necessary.

It's pretty robust and consistently executed, and it knows exactly when and where to end.

Did I laugh at any point, though? Nah, man.

A chuckle, I think, but this is a pretty lightweight "absurd" comedy.

I'm feeling a very light 7 on this.
Post by No_Raisin deleted
#17722 · 3
· on Left Behind
I almost feel wrong with reviewing this, because it doesn't really count as an MLP story.

As >>Hap pointed out, the pony connection is slim at best. Why is Twilight an AI? What the purpose of Twilight of all ponies being an AI? Why even a pony in the first place? We're not given any reasons, tried as I did to find at least one.

By the end of it I got the vague impression that Chrome was going to die, but I didn't even understand why at first, and there is so little context for why any of this was happening that I ended up feeling only confused.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge sci-fi nerd, and I think ponies can (and have) work really well in a typical sci-fi setting, but this seems to me like a sci-fi flashfic with a few words changed to make it technically an MLP story.

I'm feeling a decent to strong 4 on this.
#17759 · 3
· on Soft Stitches · >>Rocket Lawn Chair
I didn't think it was possible to have the central theme be both obvious and muddled, but here I am.

The metaphor with the needle worked pretty well, at least once I got over the instant realization that it was meant to be a metaphor. It's one of those times where you're reading something and think, "Huh, this is clearly supposed to represent something." And it was certainly one of those moments, but I think the author used it well.

The problem is that Spike's internal conflict, the reason why he was so standoffish with Rarity, didn't come across as clear to me upon first reading. At first I thought it was meant to be like a romantic tension thing between them, but then it seemed like it was more about Spike's own place in life and how alien he felt as a dragon.

I think, actually, that a good way to get around this lack of clarity would be to have the story told from Spike's POV, which would put us more in his shoes and at the same time give us a more vivid impression of his angst.

I don't want to call it angst, because the word implies a lack of importance, but it's really Spike's angst, and, as >>FanOfMostEverything said, this is a good World of Cardboard-type story that has the potential to be better.

I'm feeling a strong 7 to a light 8 on this.
#17780 · 3
· on A– · >>Moosetasm >>Trick_Question >>MLPmatthewl419 >>Miller Minus
>>Trick_Question actually got me thinking, He's got a point there. Like a really good point, because how ridiculous is it that a school, even a high-tier school like Celestia's, have the minimum be an A? Who would even be able to meet that?

That's weird on its own, but it also undermines what the story is trying to say about Sunset's character, because it justifies her obsessiveness by basically saying she'd need to be even more solipsistic in order to pass.

So yeah, going to have to lower my score to a decent to strong 7 on this one.