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If there are any people who are not in on the joke prompt, it's a typo from almost five years ago that these madmen here wouldn't let die.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200535/the-writeoff-association/thread/203327/#comment/4662277
... Oh lord, it's come to this at last.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200535/the-writeoff-association/thread/203327/#comment/4662277
... Oh lord, it's come to this at last.
Holy frickin' crap, I just submitted my first short story entry in more than a year! Break out the streamers!
But honestly, if I had more time, I would have liked to expand on it a bit more, but I just wrote several thousand words in about six hours (holy crap, have I ever written so quickly?), and it's getting pretty late, here. Gonna make a quick editing pass, then I'm going to pass out. Good luck, everybody!
But honestly, if I had more time, I would have liked to expand on it a bit more, but I just wrote several thousand words in about six hours (holy crap, have I ever written so quickly?), and it's getting pretty late, here. Gonna make a quick editing pass, then I'm going to pass out. Good luck, everybody!
>>GroaningGreyAgony
During one perfectly nondescript early-morning moment, Twilight was in the middle of pouring herself a cup of coffee in her kitchen. The next moment was a rainbow-colored tumble that happened so quickly that she only felt the twenty or so bumps and knocks and jostles after Rainbow Dash had already thrown her into the puffy bank of a high-altitude stratus cloud.
"You'll be safe here!" screeched the wide-eyed pegasus.
As Twilight felt the bruises settling in from the hypersonic extraction, she calmly rightened the coffee pot still held in her magical grasp and poured the precious remaining trickles straight down her throat.
"Explain," croaked the critically under-caffeinated Princess.
"You've been an Alicorn for like three years!" said Rainbow. "How haven't they ever gotten you yet?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes were enitrely bloodshot, to the point that nothing resembling the color white was visible. Her entire face looked like she had gotten whatever the opposite of a face-lift was, and there was a deeply concerning involuntary twitch in her left wing.
"Use your fucking words, Dash," said Twilight. "Who is trying to get me?"
"Th-the Writers, Twi!They're out of quills again, and they're not afraid to use us to write with!"
With trembling steps, Dash tip toed to the edge of the cloud and peeked down to Ponyville Square below.
"The ones who can't get away—they're good as gone Twi. I saw a baby pegasus, too small to fly, at Sugarcube corner on my way to you. Plucked absolutely clean. The m-monsters."
"Are you sure you aren't over-reacting again, Dash?" Twilight rubbed her eyes with a pinching cloud of magic. "Remember when you destroyed five-point-three million bits of weather equipment 'cause your turtle was sleepy? I had to implement a two percent sales tax increase in Manehattan to pay for that stuff, you know."
"Tank's a tortoise," came the automatic reply. "But this is serious, Twi, I don't—"
"Raaaainbow Dash?" croaked a small scratchy voice, from the ground below. "Rainbow Dash, is that you?"
Dash's eyes widened, and her head swiveled to find the voice. "Scootaloo!"
On instinct, her legs crouched in preparation of a jump, but Rainbow Dash caught herself at the last second.
"H-help me, Rainbow. Please!"
"H-hang in there, little squirt!" Tears threatened to spill from the Element of Loyalty's eyes. "I—I'm here for you!"
"It hurts so much, Rainbow Dash."
"Y-you're a trooper, you tough little thing, you!" said Dash as she backed away from the edge of the cloud. "It'll be over, soon. I p-promise."
Twilight blinked. She blinked again, voluntarily.
"What in my oedipal mother-figure's name was that?"
"It's sad, really," muttered Dash as she curled up into a fetal ball at Twilight's feet. "I think her wings are big enough for her to fly, now. But every time her feathers start growing in, there's another one of these contests. It's an awful cycle."
"Look," said Twilight. "I am not nearly awake enough to begin handling this."
Twilight began tip-toeing closer behind the unaware pegasus.
"I've been up busy all night, and I only have one day left."
Rainbow Dash froze and her eyes popped open, just as a touch of of magic tickled her wings.
"W-what were you doing all night?" whispered Dash.
Twilight smiled widely.
"I was writing, Rainbow."
During one perfectly nondescript early-morning moment, Twilight was in the middle of pouring herself a cup of coffee in her kitchen. The next moment was a rainbow-colored tumble that happened so quickly that she only felt the twenty or so bumps and knocks and jostles after Rainbow Dash had already thrown her into the puffy bank of a high-altitude stratus cloud.
"You'll be safe here!" screeched the wide-eyed pegasus.
As Twilight felt the bruises settling in from the hypersonic extraction, she calmly rightened the coffee pot still held in her magical grasp and poured the precious remaining trickles straight down her throat.
"Explain," croaked the critically under-caffeinated Princess.
"You've been an Alicorn for like three years!" said Rainbow. "How haven't they ever gotten you yet?"
Rainbow Dash's eyes were enitrely bloodshot, to the point that nothing resembling the color white was visible. Her entire face looked like she had gotten whatever the opposite of a face-lift was, and there was a deeply concerning involuntary twitch in her left wing.
"Use your fucking words, Dash," said Twilight. "Who is trying to get me?"
"Th-the Writers, Twi!They're out of quills again, and they're not afraid to use us to write with!"
With trembling steps, Dash tip toed to the edge of the cloud and peeked down to Ponyville Square below.
"The ones who can't get away—they're good as gone Twi. I saw a baby pegasus, too small to fly, at Sugarcube corner on my way to you. Plucked absolutely clean. The m-monsters."
"Are you sure you aren't over-reacting again, Dash?" Twilight rubbed her eyes with a pinching cloud of magic. "Remember when you destroyed five-point-three million bits of weather equipment 'cause your turtle was sleepy? I had to implement a two percent sales tax increase in Manehattan to pay for that stuff, you know."
"Tank's a tortoise," came the automatic reply. "But this is serious, Twi, I don't—"
"Raaaainbow Dash?" croaked a small scratchy voice, from the ground below. "Rainbow Dash, is that you?"
Dash's eyes widened, and her head swiveled to find the voice. "Scootaloo!"
On instinct, her legs crouched in preparation of a jump, but Rainbow Dash caught herself at the last second.
"H-help me, Rainbow. Please!"
"H-hang in there, little squirt!" Tears threatened to spill from the Element of Loyalty's eyes. "I—I'm here for you!"
"It hurts so much, Rainbow Dash."
"Y-you're a trooper, you tough little thing, you!" said Dash as she backed away from the edge of the cloud. "It'll be over, soon. I p-promise."
Twilight blinked. She blinked again, voluntarily.
"What in my oedipal mother-figure's name was that?"
"It's sad, really," muttered Dash as she curled up into a fetal ball at Twilight's feet. "I think her wings are big enough for her to fly, now. But every time her feathers start growing in, there's another one of these contests. It's an awful cycle."
"Look," said Twilight. "I am not nearly awake enough to begin handling this."
Twilight began tip-toeing closer behind the unaware pegasus.
"I've been up busy all night, and I only have one day left."
Rainbow Dash froze and her eyes popped open, just as a touch of of magic tickled her wings.
"W-what were you doing all night?" whispered Dash.
Twilight smiled widely.
"I was writing, Rainbow."
>>CoffeeMinion
>>Posh
I haven't done this in ages.
'Twixt my Sheets She's Done my Unicorn Hairs: With Shining's current mental state, Raindolph really should have just gone to Cadence for those hairs.
EDIT: Oh, crap, didn't realize that mash-up was already taken. :P
I Wasn't Prepared for Two Strikes Fading Ever After: Princess Celestia has a horrible student retention rate.
The Perfect Amalgamation: Trixie recalls her lovely evening with a revolting pervert, and only embellishes it a little for the sake of spiting the filthy commoner she calls a friend.
Tired Bright: Celestia quits, and two random farmers wonder where the fuck the sun's gone.
>>Posh
I haven't done this in ages.
'Twixt my Sheets She's Done my Unicorn Hairs: With Shining's current mental state, Raindolph really should have just gone to Cadence for those hairs.
EDIT: Oh, crap, didn't realize that mash-up was already taken. :P
I Wasn't Prepared for Two Strikes Fading Ever After: Princess Celestia has a horrible student retention rate.
The Perfect Amalgamation: Trixie recalls her lovely evening with a revolting pervert, and only embellishes it a little for the sake of spiting the filthy commoner she calls a friend.
Tired Bright: Celestia quits, and two random farmers wonder where the fuck the sun's gone.
Rats and Cats, Only Mostly Dead, Burning Through the Sky...
"Well, That Escalated Quickly."
This is comedy gold, and anyone who disagrees needs to fight me and my future children.
>>Trick_Question
There is a pretty lively discussion on the Discord right now. Let me sum up my personal opinions.
Any time an author feels compelled to break anonymity is bad, and I'm sorry that you felt this way. I really wish it didn't turn out this way, and I personally don't consider you unwelcome in this group.
I really wish you had gotten more honest feedback that gave the story the benefit of the doubt. To be frank, this story offended a lot of people (myself included), but that shouldn't have come across as condemnation towards you as a person, especially without confirmation of the authorial intent of the story. I think it would have been far better if we had tried to express why the story offended us, the way I tried to do in my review. As your faux-review shows, you *intended* the story to be horrific, but I think it's safe to say that the story was not horrific in an entertaining way for many readers. This should have been the main point of the feedback you should have received.
At the same time, I do think the presumption of anonymity and the benefit of the doubt to both authors and reviewers is one of the most important elements of the Writeoff, and I am saddened that you felt the need to self-DQ. I do not fully agree with the tone of Raisin's comments, but I do wish you hadn't taken the nuclear option if for no other reason than the fact that it eliminates any chance of further feedback. Raisin's comment was one knee-jerk reaction to a story that was *meant* to be horrific and disorienting, and I can't help but feel like maybe a little prudence could have gone a long way when submitting a story that is designed to be risky and disturbing.
Speaking only for myself, even though you and I personally disagree on a number of topics, I think it's a shame that you don't want to participate anymore. If you do decide to participate in any future rounds, I would gladly welcome it! But I do wish that you won't quit on an entry just because some folks are offended by a story that was meant to be at least a little disturbing.
In any case, I really do hope for the best for you, and I'd like to reiterate that I'm sorry at how the situation turned out. Whether or not you decide to join us again, take care!
There is a pretty lively discussion on the Discord right now. Let me sum up my personal opinions.
Any time an author feels compelled to break anonymity is bad, and I'm sorry that you felt this way. I really wish it didn't turn out this way, and I personally don't consider you unwelcome in this group.
I really wish you had gotten more honest feedback that gave the story the benefit of the doubt. To be frank, this story offended a lot of people (myself included), but that shouldn't have come across as condemnation towards you as a person, especially without confirmation of the authorial intent of the story. I think it would have been far better if we had tried to express why the story offended us, the way I tried to do in my review. As your faux-review shows, you *intended* the story to be horrific, but I think it's safe to say that the story was not horrific in an entertaining way for many readers. This should have been the main point of the feedback you should have received.
At the same time, I do think the presumption of anonymity and the benefit of the doubt to both authors and reviewers is one of the most important elements of the Writeoff, and I am saddened that you felt the need to self-DQ. I do not fully agree with the tone of Raisin's comments, but I do wish you hadn't taken the nuclear option if for no other reason than the fact that it eliminates any chance of further feedback. Raisin's comment was one knee-jerk reaction to a story that was *meant* to be horrific and disorienting, and I can't help but feel like maybe a little prudence could have gone a long way when submitting a story that is designed to be risky and disturbing.
Speaking only for myself, even though you and I personally disagree on a number of topics, I think it's a shame that you don't want to participate anymore. If you do decide to participate in any future rounds, I would gladly welcome it! But I do wish that you won't quit on an entry just because some folks are offended by a story that was meant to be at least a little disturbing.
In any case, I really do hope for the best for you, and I'd like to reiterate that I'm sorry at how the situation turned out. Whether or not you decide to join us again, take care!
It's 3 goddamned AM and I have goddamned submitted.
Because I, of all people, am not allowed to skip out on the Ot round, methinks.
I hope all of you like reading unedited messes.
Because I, of all people, am not allowed to skip out on the Ot round, methinks.
I hope all of you like reading unedited messes.
>>KwirkyJ
Saying this with all of the love in the world, but you really don't need to be defensive about what you've written. As author, you don't need to answer to anyone about how you choose to tell the story in your head. Reviewers are only here to point out things that we think you might have overlooked/need a fresh pair of eyes on. But if this is something you have thought about and disagree with (which is clearly the case here) you are totally free to disregard it without the need to justify yourself.
Still, you have to give your reviewers the benefit of the doubt. Nobody knows for sure what was intentional in a story or not, even more so since we don't even know who wrote what. Just because we point something out doesn't mean we think you did something objectively wrong or that you're a poor writer. We just want to make sure you have all the information possible regarding how your potential readers are interpreting your story.
Saying this with all of the love in the world, but you really don't need to be defensive about what you've written. As author, you don't need to answer to anyone about how you choose to tell the story in your head. Reviewers are only here to point out things that we think you might have overlooked/need a fresh pair of eyes on. But if this is something you have thought about and disagree with (which is clearly the case here) you are totally free to disregard it without the need to justify yourself.
Still, you have to give your reviewers the benefit of the doubt. Nobody knows for sure what was intentional in a story or not, even more so since we don't even know who wrote what. Just because we point something out doesn't mean we think you did something objectively wrong or that you're a poor writer. We just want to make sure you have all the information possible regarding how your potential readers are interpreting your story.
I can't believe it, but I got something in. That means I'm still a relevant member of this group, right? :derpytongue:
I have an idea I actually really like, a thousand words, an outline, and one more day. Heading to bed; I'll see you nerds in the morning.