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Ribbon
Long Story Short
Original Minific
4th
82%
170
Material Fuckup
Ribbon
Through A Mirror, Brightly
FiM Minific
6th
62%
107
Neighton's Cradle
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Ignore It and It Will Go Away
FiM Minific
22nd
53%
93
Can't Buy Everything
#21364 · 5
·
>>Zaid Val'Roa
Problem is, improperly capitalized dreams have a way of running out of money halfway through. In particular, there was a series of dreams that went ahead with far more funding than they needed due to overleveraged underwriting by the Perihelion Bank of Canterlot back in 350 CE, when the division of responsibilities in the New Celestial Government wasn't stable yet. The hidden losses of confidence in the solidity of the dreams slowly piled up, until they tipped over into the economic disaster later named the Icarus Scenario. Sudden shortages of essential commodities in the oneiromarket created a cascade of productivity crashes all across Equestria, which lasted until an emergency summit with some Saddle Arabian scientists brought into existence a thick black substance which Princess Luna proudly presented as a solution, stoking initial demand on the black market by making rations of it the only accepted payment for the occasional favors from her corvid agents all across Equestria's back alleys.

Unfortunately, disagreements over the proper disposition of the substance, as well as outbreaks of insomnia, made the resultant boom even more unstable than the bust, and after the terrifying rollercoaster of the next decade, from monthly stampedes to a few narrowly averted famines, the two diarchs finally hashed out the division of their courts that has lasted since. Celestia agreed to stay out of any further manipulations in the oneiromarket, concentrating her focus on more material goods, as well as keeping the energy of the sun confined to only the main part of the day, while Luna accepted the combination of lunar luminance limits and full responsibility for dream enforcement in exchange for the perk of being the only ruler to still be permitted to take caw-fee.
#11087 · 4
· on Guy Stuff · >>Trick_Question
Well, huh. I don't know.

The tidbits of characterization add a lot of flavor to this story. The detailed description, well, maybe. In a sense it feels necessary, but in another sense it feels like it doesn't fit. Maybe that means the structure is best approached from another angle? (Cadence in A Minor did the "vivid biological description necessary to the plot" really well.)

I like the interplay between the characters in the more social bits, and there are some really nice lines here and there: "Must say, I envy your wife's demeanor", for instance.
#16026 · 4
·
>>Not_A_Hat
“Suddenly, the dungeon collapses.”
#11078 · 3
· on Girl Talk
The base quality of flow and prose is really good. I don't agree with most of what >>Fenton thought were problems here; I love the balance of emotion in this one. If it were on my slate it probably would have been on top. The way Applejack gets almost-sidetracked and then brings it in as an allegory, the way she hasn't hugged many winged ponies before and doesn't quite know what to do with them, the pairing of describing thought and describing speech and action, all the textural touches.

There is some missing context, yes, but I don't think it would have worked to put it in in a minific, and it might be best left to the reader anyway. Waiting to tell Applejack and then being so calm about it in the conversation itself might be a stretch for one of Twilight's anxiety responses, since she tends more to high-intelligence low-wisdom whirlwinds of action when off guard, but I think it's believable, especially if there's delay in the detection in the first place, or if it's an older Twilight who's had more time to settle into alicorn-level responsibilities and is more savvy about keeping quiet about things that might cause scandals.
#13718 · 3
· · >>georg
>>horizon
Ember leads a panel on the nature of draconity and whether it requires being reptilian: “True Coilers”.
#15251 · 3
· · >>Zaid Val'Roa
Came up with ideas when I wasn't expecting to have any, got interrupted by high-priority request, spent the rest of the weekend cooling off from that. Oops.

One of these rounds, I swear I'll come back to this…
#16025 · 3
·
I so wanted to do the comment-on-everything this time, but then everything happened. :cry:

Next time, Gadget. Next time.
#17245 · 3
·
You hear a hollow voice say, “A slim chance…”
#20171 · 3
· on Like Ships in the Night · >>Miller Minus >>Bachiavellian
>>Miller Minus
I think the thirteen-gigameter distance, “light-ticks”, life support, EVA, etc. make the space setting pretty clear. :-)
#21235 · 3
·
Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to everyone who gave me interesting feedback! Story retrospective and feedback retrospective are hopefully incoming once I feel up to writing them.

I was considering doing pic this round too, but I didn't wind up having time. I've voted on the pics and am planning on giving pic feedback, even though I don't think I'm much of a visual art critic, because I think the pics often don't get as much attention as they should.