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Ribbon
Original Minific
4th
82%
170
Material Fuckup
Ribbon
FiM Minific
22nd
53%
93
Can't Buy Everything
#11087 · 4
· on Guy Stuff · >>Trick_Question
Well, huh. I don't know.

The tidbits of characterization add a lot of flavor to this story. The detailed description, well, maybe. In a sense it feels necessary, but in another sense it feels like it doesn't fit. Maybe that means the structure is best approached from another angle? (Cadence in A Minor did the "vivid biological description necessary to the plot" really well.)

I like the interplay between the characters in the more social bits, and there are some really nice lines here and there: "Must say, I envy your wife's demeanor", for instance.
#16026 · 4
·
>>Not_A_Hat
“Suddenly, the dungeon collapses.”
#11078 · 3
· on Girl Talk
The base quality of flow and prose is really good. I don't agree with most of what >>Fenton thought were problems here; I love the balance of emotion in this one. If it were on my slate it probably would have been on top. The way Applejack gets almost-sidetracked and then brings it in as an allegory, the way she hasn't hugged many winged ponies before and doesn't quite know what to do with them, the pairing of describing thought and describing speech and action, all the textural touches.

There is some missing context, yes, but I don't think it would have worked to put it in in a minific, and it might be best left to the reader anyway. Waiting to tell Applejack and then being so calm about it in the conversation itself might be a stretch for one of Twilight's anxiety responses, since she tends more to high-intelligence low-wisdom whirlwinds of action when off guard, but I think it's believable, especially if there's delay in the detection in the first place, or if it's an older Twilight who's had more time to settle into alicorn-level responsibilities and is more savvy about keeping quiet about things that might cause scandals.
#13718 · 3
· · >>georg
>>horizon
Ember leads a panel on the nature of draconity and whether it requires being reptilian: “True Coilers”.
#15251 · 3
· · >>Zaid Val'Roa
Came up with ideas when I wasn't expecting to have any, got interrupted by high-priority request, spent the rest of the weekend cooling off from that. Oops.

One of these rounds, I swear I'll come back to this…
#16025 · 3
·
I so wanted to do the comment-on-everything this time, but then everything happened. :cry:

Next time, Gadget. Next time.
#17245 · 3
·
You hear a hollow voice say, “A slim chance…”
#20171 · 3
· on Like Ships in the Night · >>Miller Minus >>Bachiavellian
>>Miller Minus
I think the thirteen-gigameter distance, “light-ticks”, life support, EVA, etc. make the space setting pretty clear. :-)
#8757 · 2
· on The Obsolete Pony · >>Not_A_Hat >>Anna
>>Not_A_Hat

From earlier:

Twilight gestures back to the crowd of villagers, confirming her goal to reveal Starlight's talent to the masses.


It's implied that an adequate exertion of magic to unlock the door would somehow reveal that Starlight never actually lost her cutie mark, though I don't think it's clear why. Something of a world hole.
#10980 · 2
· · >>Light_Striker
I am prepared to be ashamed!