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The atmosphere was tense and heavy in the room. The American and the North Korean delegate, sat opposite the large round meeting table, were glaring daggers at one another, under the thoughtful, vaguely resigned look of the Australian ambassador to the UN. He had not chosen to be there. The gruesome task of arbitrating the debate between those two sworn foes had been foisted on him by the Secretary General, based on an alleged innate talent at defusing crises.
The problem was, he had planned other things than attending this travesty of discussion. Maybe not as important for the future of the world, but more important for him. At least in the short term. But, seriously, how could he have turned that mission down?
“If you don’t shut down your subterranean nuclear facility within three months,” the American delegate bawled for the umpteenth time, which made the Australian ambassador start as he was shoved out of his reverie, “we shall crush your country and leave only radioactive slag behind.”
The North Korean delegate giggled. “Of course, and you’ll be responsible for the razing of San Fransisco, Los Angeles and every bit of the Silicon Valley.”
“Pfft.” The American dismissed the threat with a scornful gesture of his hand. “We can intercept and destroy your pathetic toys before they enter the American airspace.”
“Can you, really? You never tested your defense system, did you? And besides…” The North Korean broke off and giggled again.
“Besides what?” the other hissed.
“That’d be telling…”
The American turned to the Australian ambassador, who was trying – unsuccessfully – to stifle a yawn. “Your excellency, this constant brandishing of thinly veiled threats is unbearable. I respectfully request you order the North Korean delegate to cease this unseemly behavior immediately.”
“Gentlemen,” the ambassador replied, “I reckon that neither of you is stupid enough to jeopardize—“
“Not like a certain president,” the North Korean cut in.
“Whom do you call stupid?” the American delegate vociferated, banging his palms on the table and almost leaping forth out of his chair. “What about your crazy, moronic—”
“SIRS!” The Australian delegate shouted unexpectedly.
The American, taken aback, turned to him and cast him an infuriated look. “I will not—”
“You will not what? Look,” the Australian said, “if you continue behaving like hillbilly boys I swear I’m going to use this” – he picked up his phone from the table and showed it around – “to shoot a video of your childish bickering and I will post it on the most popular social networks. I’m curious to know what the people will think about your deportment—” At that very moment, the alarm of the smartphone went off.
Startled, the ambassador fumbled with the device, which almost fell from his hand. When he had regained control of his movements, he silenced it, then glanced at the screen. His face crumpled. “Gentlemen,” he said in an unexpected self-conscious tone, “you’ll have to excuse me momentarily.” He stood up and strode to the door, leaving the two delegates stumped and gobsmacked.
Once he had shut the door behind him and checked that he stood alone in the wide, nondescript corridor, he feverishly unlocked his smartphone. “Twelve GMT, twelve GMT…” he was muttering under his breath. He fired the browser, quickly typed writeoff.me and committed. “Quick, please,” he whispered, “let me know if I made finals.”
The problem was, he had planned other things than attending this travesty of discussion. Maybe not as important for the future of the world, but more important for him. At least in the short term. But, seriously, how could he have turned that mission down?
“If you don’t shut down your subterranean nuclear facility within three months,” the American delegate bawled for the umpteenth time, which made the Australian ambassador start as he was shoved out of his reverie, “we shall crush your country and leave only radioactive slag behind.”
The North Korean delegate giggled. “Of course, and you’ll be responsible for the razing of San Fransisco, Los Angeles and every bit of the Silicon Valley.”
“Pfft.” The American dismissed the threat with a scornful gesture of his hand. “We can intercept and destroy your pathetic toys before they enter the American airspace.”
“Can you, really? You never tested your defense system, did you? And besides…” The North Korean broke off and giggled again.
“Besides what?” the other hissed.
“That’d be telling…”
The American turned to the Australian ambassador, who was trying – unsuccessfully – to stifle a yawn. “Your excellency, this constant brandishing of thinly veiled threats is unbearable. I respectfully request you order the North Korean delegate to cease this unseemly behavior immediately.”
“Gentlemen,” the ambassador replied, “I reckon that neither of you is stupid enough to jeopardize—“
“Not like a certain president,” the North Korean cut in.
“Whom do you call stupid?” the American delegate vociferated, banging his palms on the table and almost leaping forth out of his chair. “What about your crazy, moronic—”
“SIRS!” The Australian delegate shouted unexpectedly.
The American, taken aback, turned to him and cast him an infuriated look. “I will not—”
“You will not what? Look,” the Australian said, “if you continue behaving like hillbilly boys I swear I’m going to use this” – he picked up his phone from the table and showed it around – “to shoot a video of your childish bickering and I will post it on the most popular social networks. I’m curious to know what the people will think about your deportment—” At that very moment, the alarm of the smartphone went off.
Startled, the ambassador fumbled with the device, which almost fell from his hand. When he had regained control of his movements, he silenced it, then glanced at the screen. His face crumpled. “Gentlemen,” he said in an unexpected self-conscious tone, “you’ll have to excuse me momentarily.” He stood up and strode to the door, leaving the two delegates stumped and gobsmacked.
Once he had shut the door behind him and checked that he stood alone in the wide, nondescript corridor, he feverishly unlocked his smartphone. “Twelve GMT, twelve GMT…” he was muttering under his breath. He fired the browser, quickly typed writeoff.me and committed. “Quick, please,” he whispered, “let me know if I made finals.”
>>Monokeras
If this story is true, (the part about the Australian embassador’s work ethic) then it does explain why a lot of our Far-East politics have been so squirrely as of late.
If this story is true, (the part about the Australian embassador’s work ethic) then it does explain why a lot of our Far-East politics have been so squirrely as of late.
Well lads, I don't much do original rounds, but I'll be writing in solidarity on a Sunset Shipping Contest entry at the same time that this is going on. Bonne chance!
I know I've been AWOL from too many Writeoffs in a row, and minifics seem like a great excuse to dip my hoofclaws back in … but I'm away from the Internet all weekend because I have Labor Day backwoods camping plans. >..<
Good luck to all participants, and see you hopefully next time!
Good luck to all participants, and see you hopefully next time!
>>Trick_Question
Well, how bout dis den: on the honor system, PM me if your prompt wins, and I'll make every (semi-)reasonable effort to write a fic for it!
Well, how bout dis den: on the honor system, PM me if your prompt wins, and I'll make every (semi-)reasonable effort to write a fic for it!
Question.
So, I submitted a prompt, but may or may not be able to make an entry. Because of the timing, I'm in the same boat as Horizon. (I might be able to snag some wifi along the way, that's depending on my luck). Is it out of line to send a prompt but not send in an entry? If it's bad, then please note me and I'll delete my prompt submission. If it means anything, I'll still vote! (or is that a bad thing too?)
So, I submitted a prompt, but may or may not be able to make an entry. Because of the timing, I'm in the same boat as Horizon. (I might be able to snag some wifi along the way, that's depending on my luck). Is it out of line to send a prompt but not send in an entry? If it's bad, then please note me and I'll delete my prompt submission. If it means anything, I'll still vote! (or is that a bad thing too?)
Ever since winning the silver medal for last Christmas Eve's original minific contest, I've been away from here for a long time. But given how I'm back in school and writing habitually again, I'm going to hop back into this contest once more.
>>PinoyPony
It’s perfectly seemly to submit a prompt even if you don’t participate. I do that all the time for pony rounds.
It’s perfectly seemly to submit a prompt even if you don’t participate. I do that all the time for pony rounds.
A pretty good pick of prompts this round. "Chainsaw Brain Surgeon" was my personal favorite.
I also see one of you smart-alecks decided that the prompt "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" constituted as 'original'. Though I must admit, a part of me wants to see that prompt win just so I can see what we cook up without referencing MLP at all.
I also see one of you smart-alecks decided that the prompt "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" constituted as 'original'. Though I must admit, a part of me wants to see that prompt win just so I can see what we cook up without referencing MLP at all.
Good News, Everyone!
Take a Chance, Reaching Out. Grow Up Big and Strong. It’s Never Been Harder to Fall. You Can Dance if You Want To; If It Bleeds, It Leads.
The Reason? Shades of Blue Innocence, Once Upon a Time. You Ever Wonder Why We’re Here? Proper Channels. What the Forests did not Envelop, the Earth Swallowed To the Last Drop
Chainsaw Brain Surgeon. Cheese, Cheese Everywhere! Cast Out Scary Sprites and Nice Monsters. The Howl in the Dark (Fake). More Human Than Human, That Face of All Men Feared.
Changing of the Seasons; Summer Exhausted. It’s not Going to End Well. A Fond Farewell, An Unwanted Gift. Been There, Done That.
It’s Time to Pay the Price; The Last Note...
Take a Chance, Reaching Out. Grow Up Big and Strong. It’s Never Been Harder to Fall. You Can Dance if You Want To; If It Bleeds, It Leads.
The Reason? Shades of Blue Innocence, Once Upon a Time. You Ever Wonder Why We’re Here? Proper Channels. What the Forests did not Envelop, the Earth Swallowed To the Last Drop
Chainsaw Brain Surgeon. Cheese, Cheese Everywhere! Cast Out Scary Sprites and Nice Monsters. The Howl in the Dark (Fake). More Human Than Human, That Face of All Men Feared.
Changing of the Seasons; Summer Exhausted. It’s not Going to End Well. A Fond Farewell, An Unwanted Gift. Been There, Done That.
It’s Time to Pay the Price; The Last Note...
>>libertydude
If that prompt wins I interpret that as freedom to write anything MLP related.
If that prompt wins I interpret that as freedom to write anything MLP related.
>>Moosetasm Face it. Anything that includes the phrases "North Korean" and "Diplomacy" is going to be pretty wacked.
>>Trick_Question
Actually, I’ve reserved the right to not use a prompt that is repetitive or obviously unoriginal, and the one you mention fails on both counts. But if you like, you can mentally append it after the ellipsis.
Actually, I’ve reserved the right to not use a prompt that is repetitive or obviously unoriginal, and the one you mention fails on both counts. But if you like, you can mentally append it after the ellipsis.
Post by
Rocket Lawn Chair
, deleted
Wow, I love this prompt! Congrats all around for picking something totally metal AF. I might even have to try to wade into the action for this!
Post by
Trick_Question
, deleted
I am very sad none of the prompts I liked won. Regardless, I'll probably get around to reading some of the entries this time. Yay!
Just finished my submissions. Here's hoping at least one of them gets a good reception.
And by "good", I mean nobody outright despises them.
And by "good", I mean nobody outright despises them.
Y'know what guys? I love this prompt, and it's (indirectly) inspired me to write 1000+ words of ponyfic today (yesterday?), but I'm just not landing something specific to this contest.
So hey, best of luck to all who made it! And it's not for lack of trying on my part, nor is there a lack of something to show for it. ^^
So hey, best of luck to all who made it! And it's not for lack of trying on my part, nor is there a lack of something to show for it. ^^
The legends foretold of this day, upon which the slumbering behemoth would awake once more. Wielding a pencil carved from the very branches of Yggdrasil, he once again hones his cursed and cursive craft upon vast plains acting as his parchment. Gentlemen, behold, words! Some roughly seven-hundred of them to be exact, carved into the bedrock twixt foothills. An omen of works to come, or but a moment's fancy before he returns to his sopor? Only time will tell...
Well, let's see if my attempt at being clever works out.
Well, let's see if my attempt at being clever works out.
Mwahahahahaha! HAhahahahaha!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Yours sincerely,
BlueChameleonVI
Yours sincerely,
BlueChameleonVI
Well. I definitely feel like I accomplished something yesterday.
I did a lot of dishes, made a pie from scratch, and knocked out a big chunk of the weekend's grading.
Then, around 11pm, I started writing.
It'll be great, right?
I did a lot of dishes, made a pie from scratch, and knocked out a big chunk of the weekend's grading.
Then, around 11pm, I started writing.
It'll be great, right?
Man, there are a lot of werewolf stories in this one. Probably should have seen that coming.
Radio Writeoff Returns!
Dubs Rewatcher, Quill Scratch, and I, will be talking about several stories this coming Saturday at 1:00 PM Mountain Time.
Convert to your own timezone here.
Listen live on Discord, or catch the recording after the fact.
Please vote for the stories you'd like us to discuss at this poll. Voting will close on Friday!
We will, at the very least, do a rough recording for those who want to listen later.
OK, that's enough for now. I'll come back later (maybe), if only to do a couple more.
So I counted the wolf stories
and I thought I'd share the ratio with you all, but I'm going to put the results in a sports reference that none of you will get except me because I'm also a self-indulgent jackass.
*Note: stories that only included metaphors, similes, and analogies alluding to wolves and other wolf-based terminology were not included in the count.
and I thought I'd share the ratio with you all, but I'm going to put the results in a sports reference that none of you will get except me because I'm also a self-indulgent jackass.
OptaMiller (@OptaMiller):
16 - Of the 35 entries submitted, 16 entries involved wolves either as a character or central plot element, for an overall wolf rate of return of 45.7%. Howlers.
*Note: stories that only included metaphors, similes, and analogies alluding to wolves and other wolf-based terminology were not included in the count.
>>Miller Minus
Where do the wolves of Better Devils sit in this classification? You could call them either metaphors or supernatural elements.
Where do the wolves of Better Devils sit in this classification? You could call them either metaphors or supernatural elements.
>>BlueChameleonVI
Excellent question, my friend, and it's nice to see a fellow wolf-tale-identifier among our ranks. We're so sparse these days. Do you attend the gatherings?
The simple answer is that these wolves are both metaphors and supernatural elements, and Better Devils has therefore been included in the tally. To be excluded from the count, the author would have had to include many more instances of the word "like" in the story, or have the narrator imply that the wolves are a figment of his imagination and that the reasoning behind their varying sizes is based on random shit that he's making up on the fly. Thankfully, this is not the case.
Hope this helps,
OptaMiller
Excellent question, my friend, and it's nice to see a fellow wolf-tale-identifier among our ranks. We're so sparse these days. Do you attend the gatherings?
The simple answer is that these wolves are both metaphors and supernatural elements, and Better Devils has therefore been included in the tally. To be excluded from the count, the author would have had to include many more instances of the word "like" in the story, or have the narrator imply that the wolves are a figment of his imagination and that the reasoning behind their varying sizes is based on random shit that he's making up on the fly. Thankfully, this is not the case.
Hope this helps,
OptaMiller
>>Miller Minus
It does. All right, so let's see if I can guess them:
1. (5) Young-Bloodied
2. (6) Journey to the Waru Wolf of Arukadiland
3. (9) Better Devils
4. (12) Ember
5. (15) Alpha Version
6. (17) The Glimmer in the Silence
7. (20) Night Hunting
8. (22) Howls for Hire
9. (26) Xavier's Secret
10. (29) The Call of the Wild
11. (30) An Estate
12. (32) Meat
13. (33) Over the River and Through the Woods
14. (34) Semi-Metallic Wolf
15. (35) Fool Moon
Ah. I've missed one. But if there are 16, I don't know where that last one is.
It does. All right, so let's see if I can guess them:
1. (5) Young-Bloodied
2. (6) Journey to the Waru Wolf of Arukadiland
3. (9) Better Devils
4. (12) Ember
5. (15) Alpha Version
6. (17) The Glimmer in the Silence
7. (20) Night Hunting
8. (22) Howls for Hire
9. (26) Xavier's Secret
10. (29) The Call of the Wild
11. (30) An Estate
12. (32) Meat
13. (33) Over the River and Through the Woods
14. (34) Semi-Metallic Wolf
15. (35) Fool Moon
Ah. I've missed one. But if there are 16, I don't know where that last one is.
>>BlueChameleonVI
The argument could be made that The Light in the Dark does not pass the wolf-litmus-test, but I added it on similar grounds to Better Devils, due to the supernatural beast encountered by the heroes. Even though we do not see the beast, it does howl, and as it is the major driving force of the story, I gave it a seat at the table.
The argument could be made that The Light in the Dark does not pass the wolf-litmus-test, but I added it on similar grounds to Better Devils, due to the supernatural beast encountered by the heroes. Even though we do not see the beast, it does howl, and as it is the major driving force of the story, I gave it a seat at the table.
So I didn't get to write any more reviews (thanks, University), but I managed to read and vote for all of the stories on my slate. There were some decent ones, and I hope they'll be in the next round.
Well, still didn't get to do any reviews for the final round, but at least I've voted for them. Can't wait to see which ones get top billing.
Huh. Surprising results. Just goes to show prediction is a mug's game. Congrats to the medallists.
Also, in case anyone's wondering about my guesses: yeah, with two or three exceptions, I honestly picked names at random in the hope of getting lucky. Nothing personal if you're wondering "WTH?" to any of them. Also also, I don't even pretend to understand how certain people keep guessing mine so consistently.
At least I dodged the "Most Controversial" award this round. Man was I getting sick of that torch icon. I'll take "Most Inspiring" any day of the week.
Also, in case anyone's wondering about my guesses: yeah, with two or three exceptions, I honestly picked names at random in the hope of getting lucky. Nothing personal if you're wondering "WTH?" to any of them. Also also, I don't even pretend to understand how certain people keep guessing mine so consistently.
At least I dodged the "Most Controversial" award this round. Man was I getting sick of that torch icon. I'll take "Most Inspiring" any day of the week.
Congrats to all the winners!! 🎉🎉🎉
Nice job everyone on all the stories. I enjoyed them all thoroughly, even though I may not have commented on them...
Hope to see you guys in two weeks!
Nice job everyone on all the stories. I enjoyed them all thoroughly, even though I may not have commented on them...
Hope to see you guys in two weeks!