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You slam the door to your apartment, throw the keys on the cupboard and let out a loud sigh.
Yet another boring day coming to an end.
You switch the light of the hall on, then take off your trench coat, which is still dripping from the outside rain. Fuck that dreary weather. You undo your shoes, kick them under the coat stand, and stride to the bathroom in search of a towel.
Once your hair is dried, you feel less like a doused dog, but look more like a ruffled one, you walk back to the kitchen. You open the fridge and grab an icy can of beer. Popping the lid open, you tip the can over your mouth, swallow a large gulp of it, then proceed to the living room.
You flop into the frayed armchair, put the can on the armrest, snatch the remote and turn the TV on. The familiar voice of the BBC’s anchorman springs from the set. No, not tonight, please! You need something else, something that will knock your socks off, so you zap through the channels in search of a programme that can hold your attention for more than a couple of seconds.
You’re about to give up when the screen darkens. You hear a blaring whir. Helicopters? Your eyes battle to make out details in that black hole. Then you begin to see things. Outlines of buildings, subdued lights filtering out of the curtained windows. It’s dark, it rains. Maybe it’s live, maybe it’s close, you’ve no way to tell. The camera is shooting from above, enhancing the steepness of the high-rise buildings. The perspective is so dramatic and the images so wobbly you feel sick watching them.
A patch of dazzling light enters the field, making you blink and jerk. It sweeps all over the place, as if looking for something, looking for someone. It wanders aimlessly, brushing the façades, hopping from building to building, then obediently following the course of a large avenue, surprisingly deserted.
Deserted? No, you catch a glimpse of a shape there, a tiny black, glossy splotch moving on the grey backdrop of the pavement. The light spot slides past but suddenly stops and runs back, scanning the street in wide swaths until it locks on the shape again. The camera zooms in and yes, it is a man. You see him run, stop. He hesitates. Looks right and left, then up at the camera he can’t see, blinded as he is by the light, then down again.
“Here! Here he is!” You hear a male voice screaming over the unceasing whir. “Call alpha tango for squad cars! I want a SWAT team right away”
The man rushes forwards, out of the patch of light, which immediately starts tracking him. He jinks and sneaks under the cover of trees, now no more than a moving flick barely visible through the dense cover of leaves. The camera jerks as it tries to keep the runner in focus.
All of a sudden, the guy veers and dashes under an arch. The light spot cannot follow him anymore, blocked by the buildings. It stops and stays still, defeated. At that very moment, a flock of prowl cars, all lights on, skid to a halt in front of the arch. A swarm of cops jump out of them and run flat out in hot pursuit of the guy.
The perspective abruptly changes. You’re apparently now watching images taken by a camera embedded in one of the cop’s outfit. You can hear his fast breathing as he races along, together with the grunts and shouts uttered by his colleagues around. It’s hard to make out anything as the lens is jolted randomly left and right, up and down. All you can see are flashes of light from front windows, blurry signs that disappear almost as soon as they pop up and shifting shadows.
But then a loud and strident whistle pierces your ears. The pace slows down, the images focus. The mad run seems to be over. You see a gloomy, paved alley, lined with closed doors. A greenish, sickly ambient light bounces off the drenched pavement and gives the decor a surrealistic tinge. Right and left other cops stride along. One grabs his gun out of its holster and points it right ahead of him. Others follow suit.
As the camera holder moves on, you realise the alley is a dead-end. It is blocked by a huge, vertical brick wall impossible to climb. There, in one of the corners, a man hunches. A wide spot of light, possibly from a big torch, springs up, zeros in on him. He wears a black hoodie that hides his face.
“Sir,” the gravelly voice of a cop thunders, “you’re cornered. There’s no escape. Surrender and we’ll spare you. If you agree, don’t move, but put both your hands over your head. I’ll count to three. At three, if your hands are not visible and up, we’ll fire. One.”
The fugitive does not move.
“Two.”
Slowly, reluctantly, he lifts his arms.
“Stand up, slowly. Slowly. Okay. Stay quiet. Keep both your hands up. I want to see their palms.”
Two cops move in, still training their guns at him. One of them halts, puts his gun back in its holster, then takes his handcuffs. “Don’t move,” the same booming voice carries on.
The chase is over. The cop seizes each arm of the fugitive, pulls them in his back and cuffs his hands. The other cop then joins the first and starts frisking the guy roughly. After a few seconds, he turns to the camera. “He has nothing,” he says.
“Where’s the book? We need the fucking book!” the voice yells.
“Here!” a second voice cuts in. The camera spins around to face another cop. He holds a book in his hand, shows it to the camera. Water and mud have stained it, but it is still intact. The lens zooms in until the title, marred by dark splotches, occupies all the TV screen.
And it reads: A Write-Off Anthology, by Roger Dodger.
Yet another boring day coming to an end.
You switch the light of the hall on, then take off your trench coat, which is still dripping from the outside rain. Fuck that dreary weather. You undo your shoes, kick them under the coat stand, and stride to the bathroom in search of a towel.
Once your hair is dried, you feel less like a doused dog, but look more like a ruffled one, you walk back to the kitchen. You open the fridge and grab an icy can of beer. Popping the lid open, you tip the can over your mouth, swallow a large gulp of it, then proceed to the living room.
You flop into the frayed armchair, put the can on the armrest, snatch the remote and turn the TV on. The familiar voice of the BBC’s anchorman springs from the set. No, not tonight, please! You need something else, something that will knock your socks off, so you zap through the channels in search of a programme that can hold your attention for more than a couple of seconds.
You’re about to give up when the screen darkens. You hear a blaring whir. Helicopters? Your eyes battle to make out details in that black hole. Then you begin to see things. Outlines of buildings, subdued lights filtering out of the curtained windows. It’s dark, it rains. Maybe it’s live, maybe it’s close, you’ve no way to tell. The camera is shooting from above, enhancing the steepness of the high-rise buildings. The perspective is so dramatic and the images so wobbly you feel sick watching them.
A patch of dazzling light enters the field, making you blink and jerk. It sweeps all over the place, as if looking for something, looking for someone. It wanders aimlessly, brushing the façades, hopping from building to building, then obediently following the course of a large avenue, surprisingly deserted.
Deserted? No, you catch a glimpse of a shape there, a tiny black, glossy splotch moving on the grey backdrop of the pavement. The light spot slides past but suddenly stops and runs back, scanning the street in wide swaths until it locks on the shape again. The camera zooms in and yes, it is a man. You see him run, stop. He hesitates. Looks right and left, then up at the camera he can’t see, blinded as he is by the light, then down again.
“Here! Here he is!” You hear a male voice screaming over the unceasing whir. “Call alpha tango for squad cars! I want a SWAT team right away”
The man rushes forwards, out of the patch of light, which immediately starts tracking him. He jinks and sneaks under the cover of trees, now no more than a moving flick barely visible through the dense cover of leaves. The camera jerks as it tries to keep the runner in focus.
All of a sudden, the guy veers and dashes under an arch. The light spot cannot follow him anymore, blocked by the buildings. It stops and stays still, defeated. At that very moment, a flock of prowl cars, all lights on, skid to a halt in front of the arch. A swarm of cops jump out of them and run flat out in hot pursuit of the guy.
The perspective abruptly changes. You’re apparently now watching images taken by a camera embedded in one of the cop’s outfit. You can hear his fast breathing as he races along, together with the grunts and shouts uttered by his colleagues around. It’s hard to make out anything as the lens is jolted randomly left and right, up and down. All you can see are flashes of light from front windows, blurry signs that disappear almost as soon as they pop up and shifting shadows.
But then a loud and strident whistle pierces your ears. The pace slows down, the images focus. The mad run seems to be over. You see a gloomy, paved alley, lined with closed doors. A greenish, sickly ambient light bounces off the drenched pavement and gives the decor a surrealistic tinge. Right and left other cops stride along. One grabs his gun out of its holster and points it right ahead of him. Others follow suit.
As the camera holder moves on, you realise the alley is a dead-end. It is blocked by a huge, vertical brick wall impossible to climb. There, in one of the corners, a man hunches. A wide spot of light, possibly from a big torch, springs up, zeros in on him. He wears a black hoodie that hides his face.
“Sir,” the gravelly voice of a cop thunders, “you’re cornered. There’s no escape. Surrender and we’ll spare you. If you agree, don’t move, but put both your hands over your head. I’ll count to three. At three, if your hands are not visible and up, we’ll fire. One.”
The fugitive does not move.
“Two.”
Slowly, reluctantly, he lifts his arms.
“Stand up, slowly. Slowly. Okay. Stay quiet. Keep both your hands up. I want to see their palms.”
Two cops move in, still training their guns at him. One of them halts, puts his gun back in its holster, then takes his handcuffs. “Don’t move,” the same booming voice carries on.
The chase is over. The cop seizes each arm of the fugitive, pulls them in his back and cuffs his hands. The other cop then joins the first and starts frisking the guy roughly. After a few seconds, he turns to the camera. “He has nothing,” he says.
“Where’s the book? We need the fucking book!” the voice yells.
“Here!” a second voice cuts in. The camera spins around to face another cop. He holds a book in his hand, shows it to the camera. Water and mud have stained it, but it is still intact. The lens zooms in until the title, marred by dark splotches, occupies all the TV screen.
And it reads: A Write-Off Anthology, by Roger Dodger.
And if such a thing were to make me feel alive
Then I have to become a kind person,
I want to reaffirm myself
I have to become a kind person
Before my heart grows numb from the cold
Then I have to become a kind person,
I want to reaffirm myself
I have to become a kind person
Before my heart grows numb from the cold
Post by
Shadowed_Song
, deleted
>>Fanderang
Welcome to the Writeoff. I hope you'll enjoy your stay. We are now voting for the prompt, the writing will start in less than 17 hours. Since it's a minific round, we'll only have 24 hours to write a story between 400 and 750 words. And one last thing, you'll find a link at the top that will lead you to the discord server. If you have any other questions, or you simply want to say hi, feel free to drop by.
Welcome to the Writeoff. I hope you'll enjoy your stay. We are now voting for the prompt, the writing will start in less than 17 hours. Since it's a minific round, we'll only have 24 hours to write a story between 400 and 750 words. And one last thing, you'll find a link at the top that will lead you to the discord server. If you have any other questions, or you simply want to say hi, feel free to drop by.
Hmmmmmm. I don't do original rounds, but there are a couple of prompts I might write for if they should win...
Ah, my prompt got a bunch of votes! Not quite enough though.
Don't know whether I'm going to write this time or not, still. (Life is troublesome…) Good luck to all authors regardless.
Don't know whether I'm going to write this time or not, still. (Life is troublesome…) Good luck to all authors regardless.
But First, We Need to Talk About Parallel Universes
You guys are the BEST! I can't believe this won.
For anyone unfamiliar with this meme, the line comes from very famous YouTube video in which the user pannenkoek2012 explains how he plays a level of Super Mario 64 while avoiding pressing the A button as much as possible.
The video, while long, is a masterpiece of human ingenuity and makes me feel that humanity is ready to venture into space. Please watch it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpk2tdsPh0A
Alternatively, here's the moment where he says the line.
I'm gonna need to think about what to write for this one. Just give me about twelve hours...
>>Chinchillax
I was about to rant on the prompt, but thanks to your explanation, I can now see how I could play around the prompt and find some ideas.
I was about to rant on the prompt, but thanks to your explanation, I can now see how I could play around the prompt and find some ideas.
>>Chinchillax
You should write this guy a message and let him know that people are writing a bunch of stories based on this.
You should write this guy a message and let him know that people are writing a bunch of stories based on this.
>>Chinchillax
I can't believe I watched that whole thing, but the guy is just fascinating to listen to...
I can't believe I watched that whole thing, but the guy is just fascinating to listen to...
Well, it's stupid. And silly. And campy. And probably still filled with typos. But, most importantly of all, it is submitted.
May god, and the poor, unfortunate readers, have mercy on my soul.
May god, and the poor, unfortunate readers, have mercy on my soul.
Well, I finally finished my story. Not sure it entirely works, but maybe somebody will like it.
Pro: The surprisingly good prompt jarred loose a story idea that's been floating half-formed in my brain.
Con: I didn't have time to go past a very rough description of the concept. Well, at least not without stopping working on my primary story I'm trying to make progress on.
Pro: I can file that concept away for later...
Con: I didn't have time to go past a very rough description of the concept. Well, at least not without stopping working on my primary story I'm trying to make progress on.
Pro: I can file that concept away for later...
Bam. I'm in this.
Also: I'm making the cut this time. No nazis, no prostate horrors, no incomplete stories. Just pure, textual awesome.
Also: I'm making the cut this time. No nazis, no prostate horrors, no incomplete stories. Just pure, textual awesome.
I've had this account for a while, never managed to submit anything until now.
Hurray for me for actually writing something.
Hurray for me for actually writing something.
Well, mine needed a completely rewrite, but I'm out of time. What I get for not doing anything until the last minute.
Still, I have been remiss in participating in these.
Still, I have been remiss in participating in these.
I've had no time to write reviews or retrospectives, but somehow I always find time to write a story.
For once, I actually had free time during the writing period, the house wasn't burning down, and I wasn't too sick or depressed to move. And the prompt was fantastic!
Naturally, I spent the day muddled in ideas I couldn't figure out where to go with, completely switched directions twice, and only came up with something in the last couple of hours. Submitted with 0m00s showing on the timer. We're in there, though.
Bonus unused idea: The author of a smash hit self-help book appears on a talk show to discuss their work. They explain that the book helps the readers open their mental pathways to travel to a parallel universe where they achieve whatever goal they were looking to do. It started with his own goal of becoming a bestselling author (and, possibly implied, controlling the world.) During the broadcast, people start to vanish into thin air: world leaders, celebrities, audience members, anyone who's read and believed the book. The author purports that they're traveling to other universes to achieve their dreams, but non-readers are shocked and skeptical, and then..........something. I never came up with a really satisfactory conflict and resolution, especially not anything achievable in 750 words.
Naturally, I spent the day muddled in ideas I couldn't figure out where to go with, completely switched directions twice, and only came up with something in the last couple of hours. Submitted with 0m00s showing on the timer. We're in there, though.
Bonus unused idea: The author of a smash hit self-help book appears on a talk show to discuss their work. They explain that the book helps the readers open their mental pathways to travel to a parallel universe where they achieve whatever goal they were looking to do. It started with his own goal of becoming a bestselling author (and, possibly implied, controlling the world.) During the broadcast, people start to vanish into thin air: world leaders, celebrities, audience members, anyone who's read and believed the book. The author purports that they're traveling to other universes to achieve their dreams, but non-readers are shocked and skeptical, and then..........something. I never came up with a really satisfactory conflict and resolution, especially not anything achievable in 750 words.
>>Chinchillax
Damn you Chinchillax! I was one vote away from making Roger's naming system irreconcilably confusing. So close to getting some Bad Horse credit...
Grrrr.
Damn you Chinchillax! I was one vote away from making Roger's naming system irreconcilably confusing. So close to getting some Bad Horse credit...
Grrrr.
Title assessments once again! You all are owed a wrap up from last round probably, but eh. I want to start reviewing, and if we're reviewing titles blind, gotta do that first!
LEMME READ IT
This Story is a Metaphor for the Canterbury Tales - Personal appeal here, since, broadly speaking, I was a medievalist. I wanna know how this story is going to go down, for all that I fear this is some bait and switch.
Monokeras and Fenton's Whacky French Adventures - It is straight fanservice, but it is a good way to garnerr attention in the right crowd. I hjave a pretty solid idea of what I'm getting into here, and I do want to know what it's gonna be.
MAYBE I'LL READ IT
Even Chewbacca Is Not Bulletproof - Some potential here, but I think the contraction would make it read better. That said, I'm less a Star Wars person, so I'm a bit less interested.
Every World We Visit Is Dead - I lost my leg like I lost my way / So no loose ends / Nothing to see me down / How are we going to work this out? // Seriously though, this is a good, solid hook right off the bat.
Blind Dating in a World Gone Mad - Less a clear hook than the above, but still presents an interesting idea that makes me want to look in.
Pickup Trucks and Comic Books - This is actually a pretty rad title, creating a bit of a dichotomy between the two items that makes me want to know what's up (not that pickups and comics are mutually exclusive, but they do rcreate images of two different people).
The Day I Met my Double - Title case error. That said, this sets up a story that could go a lot of neat places.
A Toothsome Armageddon - Right on the border of the lower tier. The idea here is good, but I think the word toothsome really lacks the punch to sell the strangeness.
You'd Better Skip This One. - No periods, please. It is barely noticable and when you do, it just looks wrong. That said, contradictory titles have punch just because of how people react to them. "This book is not for you" indeed.
Multi Universe Drifting - I think this is missing a a hyphen. That said, this works for me for getting curious about what this story is about. This is definitely selling to a specific audience.
Someone is Wrong in the Multiverse - See the above. This resonates really strongly because I love the whole "Someone is wrong on the internet!" thing. So, certainly solid in the context here because I connect it to memeing I like.
LEMME CHECK THE SYNOPSIS
Roy's Diner, 3 A.M. - This isn't really drawing me in, but it is just distinct and different enough to catch my attention.
High School Dramady, Played Straight - Minor issue is that Dramedy is the "correct" spelling. Beyond that, while this title is similar to Canterbury Tales, the idea is less intriguing on the whole I find.
Trictrics - One word title with a more interesting word. It isn't exactly pulling me in or anything, but you got me to stop and stare which, I think, is a key to titular success. You might have convinced me to look at the synopsis to see what a trictric is.
Outsmarting Yourself - Not great, but not bad. This has some potential, particularly within the context of the prompt.
Letters from the Unknown - You evoked a bit of feeling in me. It's a decent horror/thriller sounding title. It's riiiiiiight on the verge of going a tier down, but with the prompt I'm intrigued.
Fears Are Like Dogs - Why are fears like dogs? This question doesn't dig deeply at me, but it digs well enough to at least merit a pause.
A Bureaucratic Welcome - Hm. I feel like this might be pushing towards the above tier. It certainly allows one to wonder what it's going to be about and gives you an idea of the shape of the story, but it also, in and of itself, sounds a bit boring. Comedy from that is obvious, but it is risky.
Folks You Know - Reads well to me.
MOVING ON
A Matter of Time - Basically the perfect definition of generic.
From Curiosity to Confusion, From Confusion to Horror - Long and clunky. It just doesn't read well, especially given you start in an alliterative manner, but abandon it at the end.
But first... - Generic, doesn't hook well, and has title case issues.
Cheap Easy Portalfare - I think I get what it's going for, but it just doesn't read well or do much for me.
Optimism - One word title with a boring word.
R&D - One word title with a boring word.
Walking With A Goddess - Meh. Just not particular inspiring to me, particularly as a genre fiction reader. Goddess walks happen all the time!
Villainy - One word title with a boring word.
Selection - One word title with a boring word.
The Everett Device - Why should I, the reader, care about this device? Without that, this title means nothing to me.
First Sight - First sight? Within the context of the prompt this really doesn't evoke anything to me.
The Burden She Bore - On the border of the above category. There is some inspiration and information here, but it really just doesn't evoke something interesting to me. I'd generally bet this as general litfic or such.
The Pauper and the Princess - Puts me too much in mind of the Prince and the Pauper without a bit enough twist for me.
King Laius - Might be showing my ignorance here, but, in the absence of the name Laius meaning anything to me (sorry Greek myth nerds), I'm kinda inclined to generally assume this is actually just a made up name (I read too much fantasy) at which point I don't have a reason to care. Sorta the opposite result of the meme-y titles above for me.
Memento - One word title with a boring word.
LEMME READ IT
This Story is a Metaphor for the Canterbury Tales - Personal appeal here, since, broadly speaking, I was a medievalist. I wanna know how this story is going to go down, for all that I fear this is some bait and switch.
Monokeras and Fenton's Whacky French Adventures - It is straight fanservice, but it is a good way to garnerr attention in the right crowd. I hjave a pretty solid idea of what I'm getting into here, and I do want to know what it's gonna be.
MAYBE I'LL READ IT
Even Chewbacca Is Not Bulletproof - Some potential here, but I think the contraction would make it read better. That said, I'm less a Star Wars person, so I'm a bit less interested.
Every World We Visit Is Dead - I lost my leg like I lost my way / So no loose ends / Nothing to see me down / How are we going to work this out? // Seriously though, this is a good, solid hook right off the bat.
Blind Dating in a World Gone Mad - Less a clear hook than the above, but still presents an interesting idea that makes me want to look in.
Pickup Trucks and Comic Books - This is actually a pretty rad title, creating a bit of a dichotomy between the two items that makes me want to know what's up (not that pickups and comics are mutually exclusive, but they do rcreate images of two different people).
The Day I Met my Double - Title case error. That said, this sets up a story that could go a lot of neat places.
A Toothsome Armageddon - Right on the border of the lower tier. The idea here is good, but I think the word toothsome really lacks the punch to sell the strangeness.
You'd Better Skip This One. - No periods, please. It is barely noticable and when you do, it just looks wrong. That said, contradictory titles have punch just because of how people react to them. "This book is not for you" indeed.
Multi Universe Drifting - I think this is missing a a hyphen. That said, this works for me for getting curious about what this story is about. This is definitely selling to a specific audience.
Someone is Wrong in the Multiverse - See the above. This resonates really strongly because I love the whole "Someone is wrong on the internet!" thing. So, certainly solid in the context here because I connect it to memeing I like.
LEMME CHECK THE SYNOPSIS
Roy's Diner, 3 A.M. - This isn't really drawing me in, but it is just distinct and different enough to catch my attention.
High School Dramady, Played Straight - Minor issue is that Dramedy is the "correct" spelling. Beyond that, while this title is similar to Canterbury Tales, the idea is less intriguing on the whole I find.
Trictrics - One word title with a more interesting word. It isn't exactly pulling me in or anything, but you got me to stop and stare which, I think, is a key to titular success. You might have convinced me to look at the synopsis to see what a trictric is.
Outsmarting Yourself - Not great, but not bad. This has some potential, particularly within the context of the prompt.
Letters from the Unknown - You evoked a bit of feeling in me. It's a decent horror/thriller sounding title. It's riiiiiiight on the verge of going a tier down, but with the prompt I'm intrigued.
Fears Are Like Dogs - Why are fears like dogs? This question doesn't dig deeply at me, but it digs well enough to at least merit a pause.
A Bureaucratic Welcome - Hm. I feel like this might be pushing towards the above tier. It certainly allows one to wonder what it's going to be about and gives you an idea of the shape of the story, but it also, in and of itself, sounds a bit boring. Comedy from that is obvious, but it is risky.
Folks You Know - Reads well to me.
MOVING ON
A Matter of Time - Basically the perfect definition of generic.
From Curiosity to Confusion, From Confusion to Horror - Long and clunky. It just doesn't read well, especially given you start in an alliterative manner, but abandon it at the end.
But first... - Generic, doesn't hook well, and has title case issues.
Cheap Easy Portalfare - I think I get what it's going for, but it just doesn't read well or do much for me.
Optimism - One word title with a boring word.
R&D - One word title with a boring word.
Walking With A Goddess - Meh. Just not particular inspiring to me, particularly as a genre fiction reader. Goddess walks happen all the time!
Villainy - One word title with a boring word.
Selection - One word title with a boring word.
The Everett Device - Why should I, the reader, care about this device? Without that, this title means nothing to me.
First Sight - First sight? Within the context of the prompt this really doesn't evoke anything to me.
The Burden She Bore - On the border of the above category. There is some inspiration and information here, but it really just doesn't evoke something interesting to me. I'd generally bet this as general litfic or such.
The Pauper and the Princess - Puts me too much in mind of the Prince and the Pauper without a bit enough twist for me.
King Laius - Might be showing my ignorance here, but, in the absence of the name Laius meaning anything to me (sorry Greek myth nerds), I'm kinda inclined to generally assume this is actually just a made up name (I read too much fantasy) at which point I don't have a reason to care. Sorta the opposite result of the meme-y titles above for me.
Memento - One word title with a boring word.
I must retract my claim that I believe with certainty I will pass the cut (although I should have done so sooner). :raritydespair:
I think my odds now are more like 25% to pass the cut, mostly because I haven't been wowed by any of the stories I've read so far. :applejackunsure: But yeah, probably no pass for wuffies this time.
I think my odds now are more like 25% to pass the cut, mostly because I haven't been wowed by any of the stories I've read so far. :applejackunsure: But yeah, probably no pass for wuffies this time.
Finishing with my two own stories… 34 reviews, done!
Good luck to finalists, especially Mono & Fen's adventures! 😜
So I'll keep that short because no one cares anyway —
Toothsome Armageddon
>>Haze
>>Ratlab
>>AndrewRogue
>>Ranmilia
>>Cassius
>>Bachiavellian
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>libertydude
Thanks to Haze for liking this. Yeah, that was random. When I wrote it I had misread the prompt, thinking it was dimensions rather than universes. So yeah, dimensions like kilometres and miles.
Trictrics
>>Fenton
>>libertydude
>>Bachiavellian
>>AndrewRogue
>>Ratlab
>>Ranmilia
Found the name amusing. Characters are basic because T-lymphocytes aren't supposed to be boffins but efficient sharpshooters.
Didn't think of the show Fenton mentioned (excellent by the way).
Idea here was that even in our universe, things live in very different realities that can be considered parallel: atoms, cells, living beings and celestial bodies. All exist together, but they hardly interact one another. Like they lay in separate universes.
Thanks Andrew for the "solid prose". Made my day.
See you next round maybe!
Good luck to finalists, especially Mono & Fen's adventures! 😜
So I'll keep that short because no one cares anyway —
Toothsome Armageddon
>>Haze
>>Ratlab
>>AndrewRogue
>>Ranmilia
>>Cassius
>>Bachiavellian
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>libertydude
Thanks to Haze for liking this. Yeah, that was random. When I wrote it I had misread the prompt, thinking it was dimensions rather than universes. So yeah, dimensions like kilometres and miles.
Trictrics
>>Fenton
>>libertydude
>>Bachiavellian
>>AndrewRogue
>>Ratlab
>>Ranmilia
Found the name amusing. Characters are basic because T-lymphocytes aren't supposed to be boffins but efficient sharpshooters.
Didn't think of the show Fenton mentioned (excellent by the way).
Idea here was that even in our universe, things live in very different realities that can be considered parallel: atoms, cells, living beings and celestial bodies. All exist together, but they hardly interact one another. Like they lay in separate universes.
Thanks Andrew for the "solid prose". Made my day.
See you next round maybe!
Sorry I haven't been more involved, but Trotcon is currently ongoing. :derpytongue2:
Retrospective
So, okay! There's no way I made the cut because everypony hated my story, and clearly I made the mistake of—
...
WAT :rainbowhuh:
Retrospective
So, okay! There's no way I made the cut because everypony hated my story, and clearly I made the mistake of—
...
WAT :rainbowhuh:
Final verdict.
The finalist stories were great. Which is heartening, seeing as almost all the ones I had in the prelim round were iffy even though I sincerely enjoyed reading them—most of them just had trouble developing the idea in too short a space. Now that I've read all the finalists, I'm even more surprised my story made the cut.
Ultimately, it comes down to the idea and its fleshedoutness. My top five, starting from the top:
Letters...
Memento
Villainy
King Laius
...This One.
Good luck everypony! :twilightsmile:
The finalist stories were great. Which is heartening, seeing as almost all the ones I had in the prelim round were iffy even though I sincerely enjoyed reading them—most of them just had trouble developing the idea in too short a space. Now that I've read all the finalists, I'm even more surprised my story made the cut.
Ultimately, it comes down to the idea and its fleshedoutness. My top five, starting from the top:
Letters...
Memento
Villainy
King Laius
...This One.
Good luck everypony! :twilightsmile:
It's been a little odd seeing (here and on Discord) people's top slates, and comparing it with the comments; I don't think we've got any stories which were unanimously agreed to be high-tier, and I'm not seeing nearly the usual level of overlap on top-slate lists. (I want to say that this suggests every story this round, certainly including my own, was flawed in some significant way. I further want to say that 90% of those problems could be fixed with a word limit adjustment, but I've already ranted that rant.) The narrowness of the prompt also feels like a contributing factor — there were a few stories which I thought had some good momentum going until suddenly parallel universes came out of nowhere Because Prompt™.
For completeness' sake, here's my own top-five-plus-one (which, more so than usual, were "stories which hooked me and whose flaws didn't bother me as much"):
King Laius
Blind Dating in a W.G.M.
Fears Are Like Dogs
Letters from the Unknown
You’d Better Skip This 1.
The Burden She Bore
I'll try to get some mash-ups started if I get time tonight after tabletop RPG prep for tomorrow's campaign.
For completeness' sake, here's my own top-five-plus-one (which, more so than usual, were "stories which hooked me and whose flaws didn't bother me as much"):
King Laius
Blind Dating in a W.G.M.
Fears Are Like Dogs
Letters from the Unknown
You’d Better Skip This 1.
The Burden She Bore
I'll try to get some mash-ups started if I get time tonight after tabletop RPG prep for tomorrow's campaign.
Did someone say meshups?
Every World We Visit Is a World Gone Mad
One mad scientist has a problem. All his alternate versions are even madder than he is, and that kobold version from the alternate fantasy reality really has it in for him. But why?
You’d Better Skip Roy’s Diner
It’s the very worst place to talk about parallel universes. You might wind up on a higher being’s menu…
Outsmarting Dogs
When you fake the throw, your dog perceives that the stick went into an alternate world. It pauses and waits for its alternate self (D2) to bring you the stick, while looking for the stick thrown by the alternate you (Y2) so it can bring the stick back to Y2 instead while D2 brings a stick to you. But unbeknownst to D1 or D2, D3 has intercepted the stick and brought it to Y3, leaving D3’s stick abandoned on the ground to be retrieved by D4. Cross dimensional interference contagion multiplies the confusion until all dogs (Dא) lack all sticks (Sא) in every possible configurational space, triggering a function collapse in which every possible alternate universe resolves to one in which you faked the throw with a ball instead. This is why your dog spends most of the day staring at the wall or sleeping.
Monokeras and Fenton’s Bureaucratic Welcome
The wacky duo take over the Office Français de l’Immigration et de l’Intégration and fill the whole country with their alternate counterparts. Ça va chier des bulles!
King Laius Is Not Bulletproof
Oedipus opens a magic sack guaranteed to reach through time to obtain the one thing that can help him to avoid a horrible prophecy. It’s a strange metal device that smells like oil. He sets off for Thebes, hoping to find more information on how to use it.
Every World We Visit Is a World Gone Mad
One mad scientist has a problem. All his alternate versions are even madder than he is, and that kobold version from the alternate fantasy reality really has it in for him. But why?
You’d Better Skip Roy’s Diner
It’s the very worst place to talk about parallel universes. You might wind up on a higher being’s menu…
Outsmarting Dogs
When you fake the throw, your dog perceives that the stick went into an alternate world. It pauses and waits for its alternate self (D2) to bring you the stick, while looking for the stick thrown by the alternate you (Y2) so it can bring the stick back to Y2 instead while D2 brings a stick to you. But unbeknownst to D1 or D2, D3 has intercepted the stick and brought it to Y3, leaving D3’s stick abandoned on the ground to be retrieved by D4. Cross dimensional interference contagion multiplies the confusion until all dogs (Dא) lack all sticks (Sא) in every possible configurational space, triggering a function collapse in which every possible alternate universe resolves to one in which you faked the throw with a ball instead. This is why your dog spends most of the day staring at the wall or sleeping.
Monokeras and Fenton’s Bureaucratic Welcome
The wacky duo take over the Office Français de l’Immigration et de l’Intégration and fill the whole country with their alternate counterparts. Ça va chier des bulles!
King Laius Is Not Bulletproof
Oedipus opens a magic sack guaranteed to reach through time to obtain the one thing that can help him to avoid a horrible prophecy. It’s a strange metal device that smells like oil. He sets off for Thebes, hoping to find more information on how to use it.
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Optimism Is Wrong in The Multiverse
A particularly nihilistic demon interrupts a young couple's evening by telling them how wrong they were about believing in the good of the universe. The couple decides to fuck off to another dimension to avoid his lecturing.
Fears Are Like Roy's Diner, 3 A.M.
Boy takes his girlfriend to out to eat, but unfortunately, their waiter has severe social anxiety and continuously screws up their order. Boy tells the inept waiter that he would have gotten their order right in a parallel universe.
Even Monokeras Is Not Bulletproof
Title self explanatory.
This Story Is a Metaphor for Chewbacca
Courtroom drama where the judged and accused constantly switch place due to dimensional experiment shenanigans. Chewbacca is somehow tangentially involved.
High School Armageddon, Played Straight
When Baron Crump fails to secure a prom date, he asks his powerful father, Ronald Crump, to end the world, since life no long has any meaning. Ronald Crump, not wanting to disappoint his son and look like a bad father in front of Badimir Screwtin, obliges him, and fires a billion tons of fresh Arby's at Baron's school.
Skip Walking With a Goddess
Valhalla sucks.
Optimism Is Wrong in The Multiverse
A particularly nihilistic demon interrupts a young couple's evening by telling them how wrong they were about believing in the good of the universe. The couple decides to fuck off to another dimension to avoid his lecturing.
Fears Are Like Roy's Diner, 3 A.M.
Boy takes his girlfriend to out to eat, but unfortunately, their waiter has severe social anxiety and continuously screws up their order. Boy tells the inept waiter that he would have gotten their order right in a parallel universe.
Even Monokeras Is Not Bulletproof
Title self explanatory.
This Story Is a Metaphor for Chewbacca
Courtroom drama where the judged and accused constantly switch place due to dimensional experiment shenanigans. Chewbacca is somehow tangentially involved.
High School Armageddon, Played Straight
When Baron Crump fails to secure a prom date, he asks his powerful father, Ronald Crump, to end the world, since life no long has any meaning. Ronald Crump, not wanting to disappoint his son and look like a bad father in front of Badimir Screwtin, obliges him, and fires a billion tons of fresh Arby's at Baron's school.
Skip Walking With a Goddess
Valhalla sucks.
Yes! I finally completed reviewing all of the finalists! (I know you guys would've been really broken up if I hadn't... :P)
>>GroaningGreyAgony
:heart:
(I actually kept several authors I know through this competition awake until 2am at Trotcon trying to explain the Church-Kleene ordinal.) :facehoof:
... until all dogs (Dא) lack all sticks (Sא) ...
:heart:
(I actually kept several authors I know through this competition awake until 2am at Trotcon trying to explain the Church-Kleene ordinal.) :facehoof:
Congratulations to AndrewRogue, Cold in Gardez, and Fahrenheit for their medals! :twilightsmile:
>>horizon
Reviewing the voting on the results page, this was indeed a crazy voting round. For the first time I can remember, nobody put the gold-medal winner in first place on their slate! (Contrarily, three people top-slated Whacky French Adventures, and it came in ninth place. Being less polarizing is certainly a positive factor toward medaling, but it seems like everything this round was love-it-or-hate-it — avoiding polarization was a massive deal this time around.)
So it's worth leaving everyone with a few caveats that apply more than usual:
• As far as I'm concerned, Original Fiction rounds are Writeoff in hard mode. The challenge of minifics is to cram your ideas into a cramped space, and that's made even worse by the fact that in Original Fiction you have to start from a blank slate instead of being able to use an established setting and characters with well-established canon characterization. Be proud of your story, regardless of the feedback it received or the votes it got!
• Be proud of your story, regardless of the feedback it received or the votes it got! (I just said that, but it's worth repeating.) Even if this version of it fell short, every story contains the kernel of greatness, and the goal of pulling out the knives and ripping stories apart with constructive criticism is to talk about ways in which it could be better. The tight time limit of Writeoffs forces you to submit an early draft; your default expectation (especially with original fiction…) should be that your story has flaws which can be polished out with later editing to reach its full potential.
• The long knives of constructive criticism are about ways which your fellow authors think your story could be better. However: Your fellow authors are not inside your head. The structure of the Writeoffs means they don't know your goals for the story, only the output. And sometimes they are going to give you advice that is brilliant, detailed, analytic, and wrong.
Take all advice with a grain of salt: Would this change help me tell the story I want to tell better, or would it take the story further away from what I'm trying to accomplish with it? (If you don't know what you're trying to accomplish with your story, that's okay too! But you should probably figure that out before you start editing.)
This grain of salt goes double for anything I say, because the thought of "This dude has a lot of medals, he knows what he's talking about" is a dangerous one. Uncritically accept everything I say and your writing turns out a lot like mine — which works for me because I'm me. Your results may vary.
Y'all enjoy the next minific round without me. See you in a month!
>>horizon
It's been a little odd seeing (here and on Discord) people's top slates, and comparing it with the comments; I don't think we've got any stories which were unanimously agreed to be high-tier, and I'm not seeing nearly the usual level of overlap on top-slate lists.
Reviewing the voting on the results page, this was indeed a crazy voting round. For the first time I can remember, nobody put the gold-medal winner in first place on their slate! (Contrarily, three people top-slated Whacky French Adventures, and it came in ninth place. Being less polarizing is certainly a positive factor toward medaling, but it seems like everything this round was love-it-or-hate-it — avoiding polarization was a massive deal this time around.)
So it's worth leaving everyone with a few caveats that apply more than usual:
• As far as I'm concerned, Original Fiction rounds are Writeoff in hard mode. The challenge of minifics is to cram your ideas into a cramped space, and that's made even worse by the fact that in Original Fiction you have to start from a blank slate instead of being able to use an established setting and characters with well-established canon characterization. Be proud of your story, regardless of the feedback it received or the votes it got!
• Be proud of your story, regardless of the feedback it received or the votes it got! (I just said that, but it's worth repeating.) Even if this version of it fell short, every story contains the kernel of greatness, and the goal of pulling out the knives and ripping stories apart with constructive criticism is to talk about ways in which it could be better. The tight time limit of Writeoffs forces you to submit an early draft; your default expectation (especially with original fiction…) should be that your story has flaws which can be polished out with later editing to reach its full potential.
• The long knives of constructive criticism are about ways which your fellow authors think your story could be better. However: Your fellow authors are not inside your head. The structure of the Writeoffs means they don't know your goals for the story, only the output. And sometimes they are going to give you advice that is brilliant, detailed, analytic, and wrong.
Take all advice with a grain of salt: Would this change help me tell the story I want to tell better, or would it take the story further away from what I'm trying to accomplish with it? (If you don't know what you're trying to accomplish with your story, that's okay too! But you should probably figure that out before you start editing.)
This grain of salt goes double for anything I say, because the thought of "This dude has a lot of medals, he knows what he's talking about" is a dangerous one. Uncritically accept everything I say and your writing turns out a lot like mine — which works for me because I'm me. Your results may vary.
Y'all enjoy the next minific round without me. See you in a month!
I can't believe I didn't mention this in my last post, but congratulations to all the entrants and winners in this round, especially AndrewRogue!
Post by
Trick_Question
, deleted
>>Trick_Question
Okay, I'll admit to not understanding the meaning of the image you showed me. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I apologize for causing offense on my earlier message, if that's what this is about.
Okay, I'll admit to not understanding the meaning of the image you showed me. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I apologize for causing offense on my earlier message, if that's what this is about.
>>eusocialdragon It's standard message board statement of agreeing or seconding somebody else's statement. I.E. she is also surprised she didn't mention congrats to the entrants and is piggybacking on you to express it.
:p
:p
>>eusocialdragon
As >>AndrewRogue pointed out, I'm just agreeing with you that the winners and entrants deserve congratulations.
As >>AndrewRogue pointed out, I'm just agreeing with you that the winners and entrants deserve congratulations.
>>Trick_Question
>>AndrewRogue
Thanks for the explanation and the agreement, and forgive me for my ignorance. <:)
>>AndrewRogue
Thanks for the explanation and the agreement, and forgive me for my ignorance. <:)