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It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s winter. A terrible gale blows outside, carrying in its strong gusts thousands of fluttering snowflakes that dance in the feeble light which leaks out of your window. The wind blusters against the pane, shaking the whole panel which rattles and whines, as if it were going to sunder.
You sigh, roll over, squirm in your bed, grasp your plushie, bury your head under your pillow. It’s no use: you can’t sleep. Not even close an eye. Your night is fucked up. Why stay in bed?
Reluctantly, you stand up, shuffle your feet to the window, and with bleary eyes you contemplate the fury of the elements. You can’t stifle a shudder, and you think how fortunate you are to be inside – even if your bedroom is a bit cold. Far away, a flickering beam of light signals the passage of a car. Who can be so crazy — or desperate – to drive in those conditions?
Your mind flounders for an answer when a loud ringing from your mobile phone snatches you from your pondering. You spin around and rush to the device. Who can it be? Your parents in distress? Your little sister lost in the tempest?
With fumbling hands you grasp the object and feverishly press the button that gets the screen on.
No!
You let the phone drop on the wooden floor, where it lands with a thud, and clasp your head with both hands as dreadful pain suddenly washes up all over your body.
NOOOOOOO!!!!
You let your dismay out, and it spurts from your mouth in a mournful, plangent wail that adds to the din caused by the wind.
On the screen of the phone, broken in half by its rough landing, a single line is still displayed in fiery letters.
And that message reads: A new WriteOff has begun.
You sigh, roll over, squirm in your bed, grasp your plushie, bury your head under your pillow. It’s no use: you can’t sleep. Not even close an eye. Your night is fucked up. Why stay in bed?
Reluctantly, you stand up, shuffle your feet to the window, and with bleary eyes you contemplate the fury of the elements. You can’t stifle a shudder, and you think how fortunate you are to be inside – even if your bedroom is a bit cold. Far away, a flickering beam of light signals the passage of a car. Who can be so crazy — or desperate – to drive in those conditions?
Your mind flounders for an answer when a loud ringing from your mobile phone snatches you from your pondering. You spin around and rush to the device. Who can it be? Your parents in distress? Your little sister lost in the tempest?
With fumbling hands you grasp the object and feverishly press the button that gets the screen on.
No!
You let the phone drop on the wooden floor, where it lands with a thud, and clasp your head with both hands as dreadful pain suddenly washes up all over your body.
NOOOOOOO!!!!
You let your dismay out, and it spurts from your mouth in a mournful, plangent wail that adds to the din caused by the wind.
On the screen of the phone, broken in half by its rough landing, a single line is still displayed in fiery letters.
And that message reads: A new WriteOff has begun.
>>Monokeras
"God damn French people!" Remedy sat up with a limb rubbing at his closed eyelid, which then shuffled to his temple, in an attempt to ease his groggy state and the throbbing in his head. The cause?: He had awoken to several sounds next door caused by another tenant. A series of shuffling feet, a body that has been rolling on a mattress for hours on end, and the now the very loud drop of an Android smartphone. He had had enough.
Now the usually smiling flirt of a pony was always humble and did well to keep to himself, but this early I think morning at this very moment he felt like people were laughing at him. Remi flung his blanket off his sprawled body and next swung his legs down to touch the floor with a slight clack of the wooden floorboards. Three hooves marched their way across the room while a fourth covered his mouth in a weary weak wail of exhaustion. By the time he had gotten to his door and pulled it open, Remi could feel his eyes growing heavy with the need for hibernation. The cold became a minor factor as his mind was more focused on taking care of the rude person right next to him.
Creak! The door slowly opened granting passage for the white pony, who took his time to get his bearings down. Once again the tapping of three rang into the air as the missing hoof brushed and stroked his long blue mane. Seems he was trying to fix himself up a bit for a surprise visit. Yet he sauntered in and opened the door with a loud huff. He gave no warnings, no introduction, no greetings, not even the complaint he was holding within his carefully pursed lips. Instead he did the unexpected.
Remedy Fortuitous Heart grabbed the lumbering male by his arm. Of course being a pony he could not just grab anything, so he made do and nibble on a wrist leading it in the direction he wanted. Which happened to be the humans bedding. He settled into the stranger's bed and beckoned him to lay beside him with another nibble to his lower half. Tugging along fabric in a light but innocent way.
"I'll buy you a new phone tomorrow." Remedy whispered cuddling up into the human and his pillow.
(Gasp! The typos. Wrote this on my phone on a quick whim. Soo lol!)
"God damn French people!" Remedy sat up with a limb rubbing at his closed eyelid, which then shuffled to his temple, in an attempt to ease his groggy state and the throbbing in his head. The cause?: He had awoken to several sounds next door caused by another tenant. A series of shuffling feet, a body that has been rolling on a mattress for hours on end, and the now the very loud drop of an Android smartphone. He had had enough.
Now the usually smiling flirt of a pony was always humble and did well to keep to himself, but this early I think morning at this very moment he felt like people were laughing at him. Remi flung his blanket off his sprawled body and next swung his legs down to touch the floor with a slight clack of the wooden floorboards. Three hooves marched their way across the room while a fourth covered his mouth in a weary weak wail of exhaustion. By the time he had gotten to his door and pulled it open, Remi could feel his eyes growing heavy with the need for hibernation. The cold became a minor factor as his mind was more focused on taking care of the rude person right next to him.
Creak! The door slowly opened granting passage for the white pony, who took his time to get his bearings down. Once again the tapping of three rang into the air as the missing hoof brushed and stroked his long blue mane. Seems he was trying to fix himself up a bit for a surprise visit. Yet he sauntered in and opened the door with a loud huff. He gave no warnings, no introduction, no greetings, not even the complaint he was holding within his carefully pursed lips. Instead he did the unexpected.
Remedy Fortuitous Heart grabbed the lumbering male by his arm. Of course being a pony he could not just grab anything, so he made do and nibble on a wrist leading it in the direction he wanted. Which happened to be the humans bedding. He settled into the stranger's bed and beckoned him to lay beside him with another nibble to his lower half. Tugging along fabric in a light but innocent way.
"I'll buy you a new phone tomorrow." Remedy whispered cuddling up into the human and his pillow.
(Gasp! The typos. Wrote this on my phone on a quick whim. Soo lol!)
"Oh BTW. You're loud as all hell last night and I'm only doing this to make your bed smell like pony! So don't think this was a sweet gesture!" (Snuggle snuggle.)
Somebody Once Told Me To Do What Must Be Done. Here We Go Again. I’m with Cupid; We Are Number One!
To Be Determined, On the Razor’s Edge, Burn After Reading. I Want to Die, for Rational and Understandable Reasons. Edged! Don’t Judge Me!
The eye that floats, unblinking, in your waifu’s kitchen. Who Wants Pizza? The Endless Struggle…
Useful Lift Voices In The Dark!
As The World Turns The Next Four Years Under The Weather, Somewhere Forgotten, A Girl And Her X, Hoisted with Their Own Petard! Resistance is Futile; You Can’t Go Back. You Had ONE Job! Leave Alone for Three Hours. Done.
Spirit Evolution Writeoff, but Every Time You Backspace, You Watch the Bee Movie–Fools Who Dream Possibility Space!
Silver Linings Catchphrase.
And Then, Things Got Worse…
:JoyceanPinkieSmile:
To Be Determined, On the Razor’s Edge, Burn After Reading. I Want to Die, for Rational and Understandable Reasons. Edged! Don’t Judge Me!
The eye that floats, unblinking, in your waifu’s kitchen. Who Wants Pizza? The Endless Struggle…
Useful Lift Voices In The Dark!
As The World Turns The Next Four Years Under The Weather, Somewhere Forgotten, A Girl And Her X, Hoisted with Their Own Petard! Resistance is Futile; You Can’t Go Back. You Had ONE Job! Leave Alone for Three Hours. Done.
Spirit Evolution Writeoff, but Every Time You Backspace, You Watch the Bee Movie–Fools Who Dream Possibility Space!
Silver Linings Catchphrase.
And Then, Things Got Worse…
:JoyceanPinkieSmile:
>>AndrewRogue
Hmmm. You can try, but I just don't think a newborn is going to work as well as a keyboard. I mean, I'm pretty sure they don't have buttons, and how are you going to get it to plug into your computer? Even if you could, is there a driver for using those as an input device?
Hmmm. You can try, but I just don't think a newborn is going to work as well as a keyboard. I mean, I'm pretty sure they don't have buttons, and how are you going to get it to plug into your computer? Even if you could, is there a driver for using those as an input device?
>>Winston
I don't use her as a keyboard, silly. I just set her on it while I'm feeding her and publish that.
I don't use her as a keyboard, silly. I just set her on it while I'm feeding her and publish that.
>>AndrewRogue I managed to max my skill in bowmaking in Ultima Online with one foot under the car carrier, bumping it so it would rock #1 son to sleep (or a close substitute). Bump. Click. Bump. Click. Fun times. Custom server, so we had things running around like horses with a dragon's 'brain' in them. The animation for breathing was the same as the horse lying down, so this horse would gallop up to a group, flop down, and...
OKAY WHO THE HELL IS SUBMITTING THE DIGIMON FRONTIER THEME SONG LINE-BY-LINE AS PROMPTS
I SEE YOU, YOU AIN'T SLICK
I SEE YOU, YOU AIN'T SLICK
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
I now announce my intent to submit the complete body of G. K. Chesterton’s verse as prompts, henceforth.
I now announce my intent to submit the complete body of G. K. Chesterton’s verse as prompts, henceforth.
Well, this is going to be interesting. I'll be asleep when the prompt drops; when I wake up I'll be spending most of the day at CPR training, since I'm joining my local Search & Rescue and going through the academy this month; and after I get home from CPR I've got friends coming over for tabletop gaming for the rest of the night. I'm basically going to have two hours while I'm cooking dinner to whip something together.
At least I'm more or less over the con crud I picked up last weekend. <.<
At least I'm more or less over the con crud I picked up last weekend. <.<
>>Astrarian
I know the feel. Maybe one day the circumstances will be just right.
...
Or maybe we're cursed, and every time we vote for a prompt, it guarantees it won't be chosen.
I know the feel. Maybe one day the circumstances will be just right.
...
Or maybe we're cursed, and every time we vote for a prompt, it guarantees it won't be chosen.
>>horizon
Calling it now: horizon writes for one hour, still takes bronze.
blah blah no time blah blah
Calling it now: horizon writes for one hour, still takes bronze.
>>horizon
Simple! Arrange the game to be based on the prompt, and write the story that is played out.
Simple! Arrange the game to be based on the prompt, and write the story that is played out.
>>Zaid Val'Roa
I've long assumed I was cursed in this way. I use my powers for good and vote for all the meme prompts >.>
I've long assumed I was cursed in this way. I use my powers for good and vote for all the meme prompts >.>
>>Zaid Val'Roa
>>QuillScratch
Same here, I expected (and voted) for a prompt leading to a funny story but the first thing that comes in my mind with this one is only sadness or tragedy. Damn.
By the way, hello and gl hf to everyone.
>>QuillScratch
Same here, I expected (and voted) for a prompt leading to a funny story but the first thing that comes in my mind with this one is only sadness or tragedy. Damn.
By the way, hello and gl hf to everyone.
>>Fenton
Actually, I have a very silly story in mind. I'd go into details but then it'd give me away.
Just because it's a struggle doesn't mean it needs to be, and it can be a situation involving idiots who are stubborn and won't learn their lesson (and hence, their ridiculous struggle will never end).
"Ryoga, let me just take you home. You have no sense of direction."
"NO! I must forge this path myself! Noone else can do this for me!"
cue to hours later, Now dark, sitting alone without Ryoga there.
"...goddamn Ryoga."
(Meanwhile, Ryoga got lost and wound up in equestria...somehow.)
Actually, I have a very silly story in mind. I'd go into details but then it'd give me away.
Just because it's a struggle doesn't mean it needs to be, and it can be a situation involving idiots who are stubborn and won't learn their lesson (and hence, their ridiculous struggle will never end).
"Ryoga, let me just take you home. You have no sense of direction."
"NO! I must forge this path myself! Noone else can do this for me!"
cue to hours later, Now dark, sitting alone without Ryoga there.
"...goddamn Ryoga."
(Meanwhile, Ryoga got lost and wound up in equestria...somehow.)
>>CoffeeMinion
ftfy
Calling it now: horizon writes forone hourthirteen minutes, still takesbronzegold.
ftfy
Also, I'm actually in an OF round for a change. :facehoof:
Probably won't have time to read, and more probably won't feel comfortable reviewing, but we'll see.
Probably won't have time to read, and more probably won't feel comfortable reviewing, but we'll see.
I feel weird on this entry. Half of me wants to abandon it because I stupid'd out and waited till the final hours, the rest of me feels like I really ought to say this. I just wish I had more time... and my editor to take a look at this.
Plus, the second half of it has to be completely cut, mostly because of word count. Instead what I hoped it's just a punchline.
...eh, still works I suppose.
Plus, the second half of it has to be completely cut, mostly because of word count. Instead what I hoped it's just a punchline.
...eh, still works I suppose.
Welp! I did mine.
I can't believe I did it, but I did it. Very little editing, 3 am, and no editor and very little overview.
...let's hope I did it... "Write"
...
...
...
...I'm gonna go to bed now. (Good luck everyone!)
I can't believe I did it, but I did it. Very little editing, 3 am, and no editor and very little overview.
...let's hope I did it... "Write"
...
...
...
...I'm gonna go to bed now. (Good luck everyone!)
Submitted with ... (*checks clock*) ... negative six seconds to go!
The good news is that I did manage to scrape slightly more than my allotted two hours together to work on this. The bad is that those hours were 1-4 AM local time after being continuously up since 8 AM yesterday. So my sleep schedule continues to resemble a flaming train wreck that crashed into an orphanage full of explosive nuns.
The good news is that I did manage to scrape slightly more than my allotted two hours together to work on this. The bad is that those hours were 1-4 AM local time after being continuously up since 8 AM yesterday. So my sleep schedule continues to resemble a flaming train wreck that crashed into an orphanage full of explosive nuns.
Whoops, I pressed submit too late.
I did write a full something though. So that's good, even if no one sees it.
I did write a full something though. So that's good, even if no one sees it.
>>Astrarian
On the downside, it really sucks to miss the submission window. On the upside, you wrote a thing, which is a very good outcome for Writeoffs regardless of internet points.
As a consolation prize, if you post it somewhere (here in the discussion thread or as a link to gdocs/whatever), I'll review it, and some others might as well.
On the downside, it really sucks to miss the submission window. On the upside, you wrote a thing, which is a very good outcome for Writeoffs regardless of internet points.
As a consolation prize, if you post it somewhere (here in the discussion thread or as a link to gdocs/whatever), I'll review it, and some others might as well.
Hammerfall
Down With The Sickness
Sentinel
Trace elements of metal detected. Commence headbanging in 3... 2.. 1...
Between Jewel's startup and the courses I teach, I haven't had the time to read and review anything yet. :fluttershysad: But I notice that we're halfway through the first round, and there are still stories with only one or two comments. So at least I can call attention to that:
One comment:
https://writeoff.me/fic/3754-No-Choice
https://writeoff.me/fic/890-Blurred-Lines
https://writeoff.me/fic/5186-Endless-Struggle
https://writeoff.me/fic/2393-Sentinel
Two comments:
https://writeoff.me/fic/1407-Faux-Pas-de-Deux
https://writeoff.me/fic/3802-Greatness
https://writeoff.me/fic/1266-The-Meaning-of-Life
https://writeoff.me/fic/2293-To-Be-Free
https://writeoff.me/fic/2328-Under-an-oppressive-moon
https://writeoff.me/fic/1720-Machine
https://writeoff.me/fic/4864-The-Pain-in-Paradise
/)^3^(\
One comment:
https://writeoff.me/fic/3754-No-Choice
https://writeoff.me/fic/890-Blurred-Lines
https://writeoff.me/fic/5186-Endless-Struggle
https://writeoff.me/fic/2393-Sentinel
Two comments:
https://writeoff.me/fic/1407-Faux-Pas-de-Deux
https://writeoff.me/fic/3802-Greatness
https://writeoff.me/fic/1266-The-Meaning-of-Life
https://writeoff.me/fic/2293-To-Be-Free
https://writeoff.me/fic/2328-Under-an-oppressive-moon
https://writeoff.me/fic/1720-Machine
https://writeoff.me/fic/4864-The-Pain-in-Paradise
/)^3^(\
This comment is actually part of two reviews, and I'm going to link to it in both of them. It's a discussion of how I, personally, try to judge whether I should use a particular piece of punctuation in a non-standard situation. If you find that stuff interesting, please read on!
See, I'm a huge believer that it's much more important to know what punctuation does than to know how you're supposed to use it. Don't get me wrong, the general consensus of style guides is a useful starting place, and something we should all try to stick to as rigorously as possible because it works, but if you blindly follow the guides without knowing exactly what punctuation does you'll never know where those guides can be improved upon. So let's talk about what a dash does—not how it's used, but what exact effect it has on text, and then I'll explain why I don't think that's appropriate.
With any piece of punctuation, appearance is half the key. Take the ellipsis, for example, which quite literally leaves a trail on the page, or an apostrophe, just keeps two parts of a word disconnected (more obviously so in cursive, where one should never "join up" letters that are on either side of an apostrophe!) but close enough together that they're still one word. So what does a dash look like? It's a long, horizontal line, that sort of drags away from a word—not quite the trailing off of an ellipsis, but there's still certainly this sense of one's eyes being almost pulled away from the previous subject matter (explaining their use in interruptions and parentheticals. Actually, there's a really interesting difference between parentheticals in parentheses and in dashes, but now probably isn't the time to get into that.)
This is all well and good if you want attention from the reader to be dragged from one idea to the next, from one word to the next, but what about those kinds of interruptions that just cut straight into action? There are, certainly, times when we might want to portray a kind of interruption that is so sudden that the effect a dash has—that sense of being dragged from one point to another—doesn't quite work. There's a whole bunch of options available to you, and what you use will depend entirely on the kind of effect you want to create. Maybe you'd use a period, even though a sentence was missing a conclusion, to make the interruption total and sudden and jarring; maybe you'd use a hyphen rather than a dash, to indicate brevity (though that would only work so well if you'd used actual dashes elsewhere to prove to the reader that you actually know what a dash is!); maybe you'd use "|", just to see if turning a dash on its side would work.
But there's one piece of punctuation that, in my opinion, isn't considered enough: not punctuating. There are a lot of places one might consider using a lack of punctuation to illustrate an interruption (I'm going to cite our very own Dubs Rewatcher here because he's cool and that's a damn good fic), but I think the most obvious case is where you want the words either side of the interruption to fit together. Kinda like two halves of a sentence...
In the case of a looping story, we're not really talking about an interruption at all, but rather a sentence that should continue smoothly from one half to another (and would do, were those halves not separated by being at different ends of the story). This is why I don't think a dash is suitable, and to demonstrate this I'm just going to—put a dash in the middle of this sentence. Did that feel weird to read? It feels like the sentence is fragmented, like it stops a little bit and starts again. And if you wouldn't put a dash in the middle of a sentence like that, why would you put one (or even two!) in the middle of one just because they're physically separated? To make it clear that they hook up? Your readers should be able to get that much from context!
Essentially, this all boils down to a simple statement: a dash adds a little bit of a disconnect between words. If you want a sentence to be connected, why would you use one?
See, I'm a huge believer that it's much more important to know what punctuation does than to know how you're supposed to use it. Don't get me wrong, the general consensus of style guides is a useful starting place, and something we should all try to stick to as rigorously as possible because it works, but if you blindly follow the guides without knowing exactly what punctuation does you'll never know where those guides can be improved upon. So let's talk about what a dash does—not how it's used, but what exact effect it has on text, and then I'll explain why I don't think that's appropriate.
With any piece of punctuation, appearance is half the key. Take the ellipsis, for example, which quite literally leaves a trail on the page, or an apostrophe, just keeps two parts of a word disconnected (more obviously so in cursive, where one should never "join up" letters that are on either side of an apostrophe!) but close enough together that they're still one word. So what does a dash look like? It's a long, horizontal line, that sort of drags away from a word—not quite the trailing off of an ellipsis, but there's still certainly this sense of one's eyes being almost pulled away from the previous subject matter (explaining their use in interruptions and parentheticals. Actually, there's a really interesting difference between parentheticals in parentheses and in dashes, but now probably isn't the time to get into that.)
This is all well and good if you want attention from the reader to be dragged from one idea to the next, from one word to the next, but what about those kinds of interruptions that just cut straight into action? There are, certainly, times when we might want to portray a kind of interruption that is so sudden that the effect a dash has—that sense of being dragged from one point to another—doesn't quite work. There's a whole bunch of options available to you, and what you use will depend entirely on the kind of effect you want to create. Maybe you'd use a period, even though a sentence was missing a conclusion, to make the interruption total and sudden and jarring; maybe you'd use a hyphen rather than a dash, to indicate brevity (though that would only work so well if you'd used actual dashes elsewhere to prove to the reader that you actually know what a dash is!); maybe you'd use "|", just to see if turning a dash on its side would work.
But there's one piece of punctuation that, in my opinion, isn't considered enough: not punctuating. There are a lot of places one might consider using a lack of punctuation to illustrate an interruption (I'm going to cite our very own Dubs Rewatcher here because he's cool and that's a damn good fic), but I think the most obvious case is where you want the words either side of the interruption to fit together. Kinda like two halves of a sentence...
In the case of a looping story, we're not really talking about an interruption at all, but rather a sentence that should continue smoothly from one half to another (and would do, were those halves not separated by being at different ends of the story). This is why I don't think a dash is suitable, and to demonstrate this I'm just going to—put a dash in the middle of this sentence. Did that feel weird to read? It feels like the sentence is fragmented, like it stops a little bit and starts again. And if you wouldn't put a dash in the middle of a sentence like that, why would you put one (or even two!) in the middle of one just because they're physically separated? To make it clear that they hook up? Your readers should be able to get that much from context!
Essentially, this all boils down to a simple statement: a dash adds a little bit of a disconnect between words. If you want a sentence to be connected, why would you use one?
I'm off from work (sick) so I will finally be able to read and review (and vote on) a few of these buggers once my mood ups a bit.
Well folks, we're doing pretty darn well with reviews so far, but there are just a few more stories that could use some extra love:
5 unique commentors:
In-between the worlds
6 unique commentors:
Why Gardening is So Good for You
Losing the Struggle
Endless Struggle™
To Be Free
Machine
Let's bring 'em all up to seven! It's a good number, after all -v-b
5 unique commentors:
In-between the worlds
6 unique commentors:
Why Gardening is So Good for You
Losing the Struggle
Endless Struggle™
To Be Free
Machine
Let's bring 'em all up to seven! It's a good number, after all -v-b
Awesome. I think I've just read, ranked, and reviewed all the stories! That'd be a first :o All before finals, too!
It's probably because it's a minific round, and an o-fic round, so it's a lower turnout than usual... but, you know, baby steps. ^^;
It's probably because it's a minific round, and an o-fic round, so it's a lower turnout than usual... but, you know, baby steps. ^^;
Quick reminder, before prelims are over, that there are still a few stories that could use just one more review:
Losing the Struggle
In-between the worlds
Endless Struggle™
To Be Free
Machine
All are at six reviews. If they hit seven, that'd be great :> (I've reviewed them already so I can't really review them twice)
Losing the Struggle
In-between the worlds
Endless Struggle™
To Be Free
Machine
All are at six reviews. If they hit seven, that'd be great :> (I've reviewed them already so I can't really review them twice)
Well, it's that time again! Mash-ups were briefly discussed in the it's-not-a-podcast-because-!Hat-and-Quill-weren't-online-at-the-same-time voice chat, but nobody's posted any yet, so I reckon I'll get things started off!
For some reason, there are a lot of stories this round which pair together well ...
Mash-ups: "The Endless Struggle To Avoid The Obvious Jokes" Edition
Endless Struggle™: The Masquerade — In White Wolf's latest thrill-packed expansion to their hit Vampire tabletop roleplaying game, player characters can now get day jobs!
The Postmanpocalypse — Georgian office workers struggle against an unexpected mailstrom. [1]
Machine Iron — Jupiter Station sends millions of AI-ships to the Inner Planets to steal rare and precious hydrogen, each believing they are the station's last chance so that they're willing to make irrational sacrifices to protect their cargo.
Heeding the Sentinel — The archaeologists exploring the cursed tomb read the goddamn signs for once.
Third Law of the Clouds — A bitter police officer tries to find the sky fairies, and the resulting story is 30% "fuck" by wordcount.
Why Gardening is for Bureaugard — The neighbor's dog keeps killing squirrels and ripping up my azaleas. I think it's time to change hobbies.
Hammer Mentor — The robots get sick of standing in humanity's shadow and execute the genocide plan.
Blurred Free — ... at which point the angels and demons who once oversaw humanity encourage robotkind to start a war between good and evil, because otherwise they're out of a job.
Down With Ganymede — The protagonist just wanted her mother to help her stop impulse-shopping in the hideously expensive Upper District. But her mother keeps encouraging her to follow her dreams! No-one understands!
Up With The Sunlight And Other Excuses — The protagonist makes personal contact with a sun goddess who encourages her to stop drinking. Which she's totally going to do. Tomorrow.
For some reason, there are a lot of stories this round which pair together well ...
Mash-ups: "The Endless Struggle To Avoid The Obvious Jokes" Edition
Endless Struggle™: The Masquerade — In White Wolf's latest thrill-packed expansion to their hit Vampire tabletop roleplaying game, player characters can now get day jobs!
The Postmanpocalypse — Georgian office workers struggle against an unexpected mailstrom. [1]
[1] Joke blatantly stolen from Not_A_Hat
Machine Iron — Jupiter Station sends millions of AI-ships to the Inner Planets to steal rare and precious hydrogen, each believing they are the station's last chance so that they're willing to make irrational sacrifices to protect their cargo.
Heeding the Sentinel — The archaeologists exploring the cursed tomb read the goddamn signs for once.
Third Law of the Clouds — A bitter police officer tries to find the sky fairies, and the resulting story is 30% "fuck" by wordcount.
Why Gardening is for Bureaugard — The neighbor's dog keeps killing squirrels and ripping up my azaleas. I think it's time to change hobbies.
Hammer Mentor — The robots get sick of standing in humanity's shadow and execute the genocide plan.
Blurred Free — ... at which point the angels and demons who once oversaw humanity encourage robotkind to start a war between good and evil, because otherwise they're out of a job.
Down With Ganymede — The protagonist just wanted her mother to help her stop impulse-shopping in the hideously expensive Upper District. But her mother keeps encouraging her to follow her dreams! No-one understands!
Up With The Sunlight And Other Excuses — The protagonist makes personal contact with a sun goddess who encourages her to stop drinking. Which she's totally going to do. Tomorrow.
>>horizon (bursts into song)
Blurred free, as free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows, and I forgot the rest of the words....
Blurred free, as free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows, and I forgot the rest of the words....
Retrospective:
Thanks to everyone who commented!
This was an experimental piece in which I explored swapping the roles of articles and conjunctions, which seems to have led to confusion for several reviewers. Still, I feel that calling my piece ‘an impenetrable redoubt of supercilious pedanticism’ is being woundingly overdirect. I had to spend an extra hour under the covers, clutching a cloth-and-batting representation of a neotenic and anthropomorphized ursine (whom I have dubbed “Mr. Snigglywubbles”), and I needed an extra mug of hot chocolate to entirely refroid my sang. This plays hell on my diet! A little consideration, please!
Other reviewers complained about the middle paragraph (that block of 4,294 “gibberish” characters which counted as one word). As should have been patently obvious, the start of the string showed that it was to be interpreted as a zip file, which when uncompressed with the password (QUIZZICAL, as revealed acrostically) would reveal a one thousand, six hundred and thirteen word dissertation about the maximum beak length of Emperor penguins, the comprehension of which is quite necessary to understanding the dramatic reversal of Quarmbogger’s affections in the penultimate paragraph. I am not surprised that almost no one got this (props to Horizon!), but I am just a trifle disappointed. However, I do regret having been the point of contention in such a heated discussion over the Writeoff regulations, and I thank Roger for making the correct call and not deleting my account and, even worse, utterly disqualifying my story.
Now, as to the section which described a series of slash marks and curves (“in snore-inducing detail,” as one critic so blithely put it), if the gentle readers would only take the trouble to draw them out as described, they would find a perfectly legible string of Xiang Chinese characters, for which translators are readily available online–
…Wait, I’m still in?
Nevah mind. Good thing I stopped before I gave too much away!
Thanks to everyone who commented!
This was an experimental piece in which I explored swapping the roles of articles and conjunctions, which seems to have led to confusion for several reviewers. Still, I feel that calling my piece ‘an impenetrable redoubt of supercilious pedanticism’ is being woundingly overdirect. I had to spend an extra hour under the covers, clutching a cloth-and-batting representation of a neotenic and anthropomorphized ursine (whom I have dubbed “Mr. Snigglywubbles”), and I needed an extra mug of hot chocolate to entirely refroid my sang. This plays hell on my diet! A little consideration, please!
Other reviewers complained about the middle paragraph (that block of 4,294 “gibberish” characters which counted as one word). As should have been patently obvious, the start of the string showed that it was to be interpreted as a zip file, which when uncompressed with the password (QUIZZICAL, as revealed acrostically) would reveal a one thousand, six hundred and thirteen word dissertation about the maximum beak length of Emperor penguins, the comprehension of which is quite necessary to understanding the dramatic reversal of Quarmbogger’s affections in the penultimate paragraph. I am not surprised that almost no one got this (props to Horizon!), but I am just a trifle disappointed. However, I do regret having been the point of contention in such a heated discussion over the Writeoff regulations, and I thank Roger for making the correct call and not deleting my account and, even worse, utterly disqualifying my story.
Now, as to the section which described a series of slash marks and curves (“in snore-inducing detail,” as one critic so blithely put it), if the gentle readers would only take the trouble to draw them out as described, they would find a perfectly legible string of Xiang Chinese characters, for which translators are readily available online–
…Wait, I’m still in?
Nevah mind. Good thing I stopped before I gave too much away!
Well, this thread is dead, apparently. But congratulations to Corejo and Monokeras for their medals, and —
AAAGH! IT WAS STOLEN! MY PRECIOUS BRONZE! THE SOURCE OF MY POWER! hsssssss
Pardon me while I track down Monokeras and consume his still-beating heart to get my writing mojo back.
AAAGH! IT WAS STOLEN! MY PRECIOUS BRONZE! THE SOURCE OF MY POWER! hsssssss
Pardon me while I track down Monokeras and consume his still-beating heart to get my writing mojo back.
Seriously though, congratulations to Corejo and Monokeras for their medals, and to all our finalists and entrants alike. MAJOR congratulations to Mono for a first-time medal — look at how far you've come! :D I stand by my many-moons-ago predictions of greatness.
The top scores were remarkably close this round — that's a sign I squeaked out a narrow win against some strong competition.
It was good to see the volume of feedback this round. And hopefully the critique was helpful, regardless of where everyone placed. To be honest I felt like it was a lot sharper and more aggressive this round than usual (I'm not speaking of the critique on my story, but what I was reading overall in the thread); let's try to keep in mind that there are friends and fellow authors on the other end of the line.
I'm sorry for not saying more. I've been triaging time for the last several weeks, in between post-con illness, starting Search & Rescue training, and several major server incidents at work (we're in recovery from one of them; I shouldn't even be typing this now). I doubt I'll even be able to offer a retrospective or a reaction to the feedback, other than to agree with the "approximately" being an error. Thank you nevertheless.
The top scores were remarkably close this round — that's a sign I squeaked out a narrow win against some strong competition.
It was good to see the volume of feedback this round. And hopefully the critique was helpful, regardless of where everyone placed. To be honest I felt like it was a lot sharper and more aggressive this round than usual (I'm not speaking of the critique on my story, but what I was reading overall in the thread); let's try to keep in mind that there are friends and fellow authors on the other end of the line.
I'm sorry for not saying more. I've been triaging time for the last several weeks, in between post-con illness, starting Search & Rescue training, and several major server incidents at work (we're in recovery from one of them; I shouldn't even be typing this now). I doubt I'll even be able to offer a retrospective or a reaction to the feedback, other than to agree with the "approximately" being an error. Thank you nevertheless.
>>horizon
I have no time to elaborate right now, but congrats to you also for the gold, despite my scuppering of your story ;), and just ❤️ for the rest.
Small retrospective to come tomorrow I think, Friday at worse.
Thanks to all who liked the stories, and thanks so much for all the positive reviews!
I have no time to elaborate right now, but congrats to you also for the gold, despite my scuppering of your story ;), and just ❤️ for the rest.
Small retrospective to come tomorrow I think, Friday at worse.
Thanks to all who liked the stories, and thanks so much for all the positive reviews!
Post by
Trick_Question
, deleted
So
The Postman
I've ever been a fan of Camus, having been introduced to his works by my father who, like him, was born in Algeria back in the days when that North-African piece of land was French. Camus was the writer of the North-African community, their spearhead, standard-bearer and hero.
Camus's theory in Le Mythe de Sisyphe is that, despite the absurdity of it, somehow Sisphyus has to be proud of his ever-repeated task, and that pride manifests itself as the cursed drudge retakes his breath atop the knoll, while his boulder rolls downhill.
What has ever bugged me about Sisyphus's myth was why Sisyphus had complied to the pointless work he was sentenced to carry out. Usually, when you are sentenced, you suffer something: being locked up, tortured or killed. And even if you're sentenced to, let's say, community work, ultimately what compels you to do it is the implicit threat that not abiding by your sentence means to be condemned to something worse, be it jail, rack or death.
But when you're dead, what possibly can coerce you into doing something? What forbids Sisyphus, who tricked Death twice, to knock off, sit at the foot of his hill, cross his arms, blow a raspberry to Zeus and just say “no more”?
So to me, one possible answer is that Sisyphus actually accepted to carry out his work of his own will. That's the idea I tried to graze in The Postman. What obliges the Postman, aka Sisyphus, to set out for this tedious ascent, except his own respect for the job he's been charged with? He could just shirk it, put it off until tomorrow, ask someone else to do it, or simply take with him a form warning that old geezer over there that a wrap is waiting for him at the post office.
No, instead, he chooses the hard way, because he is diligent, and takes his job seriously, and derives pride from it. And albeit it is revealed in the end that he has endeavoured his painful hike in vain, it was something he implicitely accepted from the get-go, by refusing to peer into the parcel. So no, Hat, I don't think this version is milder then the original one. Yes, in the Greek myth, Sisyphus knows for sure that his work will be fruitless and endlessly repeated; here, that certainty is withheld from his eyes, but implicitely accepted by his strict adherence to the postal rules.
You could say “but he loses the memory of his past experiences every time he’s sent back and starts afresh”. Agreed, but not explicitely stated, so ultimately we don't know. Maybe he only forgets what's inside the parcel?
To address the only complaint I registered for this fiction, yeah, Hades Pluto was a bit hamfisted. I just tried to implement one of Cold's rules of successful WriteOffing (™) which states: “In the WriteOffs, don't be too subtle.”
To wrap up, I'm super happy you enjoyed it, I was chuffed by each of your wonderful comments, and thank you for bearing this modest story up to the bronze medal, even though, despite what Trick thinks, it'll prolly be a one-off. But meanwhile, I enjoy the afterglow! ❤️
See you next round folks!
The Postman
I've ever been a fan of Camus, having been introduced to his works by my father who, like him, was born in Algeria back in the days when that North-African piece of land was French. Camus was the writer of the North-African community, their spearhead, standard-bearer and hero.
Camus's theory in Le Mythe de Sisyphe is that, despite the absurdity of it, somehow Sisphyus has to be proud of his ever-repeated task, and that pride manifests itself as the cursed drudge retakes his breath atop the knoll, while his boulder rolls downhill.
What has ever bugged me about Sisyphus's myth was why Sisyphus had complied to the pointless work he was sentenced to carry out. Usually, when you are sentenced, you suffer something: being locked up, tortured or killed. And even if you're sentenced to, let's say, community work, ultimately what compels you to do it is the implicit threat that not abiding by your sentence means to be condemned to something worse, be it jail, rack or death.
But when you're dead, what possibly can coerce you into doing something? What forbids Sisyphus, who tricked Death twice, to knock off, sit at the foot of his hill, cross his arms, blow a raspberry to Zeus and just say “no more”?
So to me, one possible answer is that Sisyphus actually accepted to carry out his work of his own will. That's the idea I tried to graze in The Postman. What obliges the Postman, aka Sisyphus, to set out for this tedious ascent, except his own respect for the job he's been charged with? He could just shirk it, put it off until tomorrow, ask someone else to do it, or simply take with him a form warning that old geezer over there that a wrap is waiting for him at the post office.
No, instead, he chooses the hard way, because he is diligent, and takes his job seriously, and derives pride from it. And albeit it is revealed in the end that he has endeavoured his painful hike in vain, it was something he implicitely accepted from the get-go, by refusing to peer into the parcel. So no, Hat, I don't think this version is milder then the original one. Yes, in the Greek myth, Sisyphus knows for sure that his work will be fruitless and endlessly repeated; here, that certainty is withheld from his eyes, but implicitely accepted by his strict adherence to the postal rules.
You could say “but he loses the memory of his past experiences every time he’s sent back and starts afresh”. Agreed, but not explicitely stated, so ultimately we don't know. Maybe he only forgets what's inside the parcel?
To address the only complaint I registered for this fiction, yeah, Hades Pluto was a bit hamfisted. I just tried to implement one of Cold's rules of successful WriteOffing (™) which states: “In the WriteOffs, don't be too subtle.”
To wrap up, I'm super happy you enjoyed it, I was chuffed by each of your wonderful comments, and thank you for bearing this modest story up to the bronze medal, even though, despite what Trick thinks, it'll prolly be a one-off. But meanwhile, I enjoy the afterglow! ❤️
See you next round folks!
Oops, sorry I forgot:
Good Little Bunny
This story was translated/adapted from this French children book whose title exactly means the same. This book is a cute allegory about [the endless struggle between] capitalism and anarchism (at least to me) and is the epitome of the good children book: cute, fun, happy ending, but with a different takeaway whether you're the kid or the adult.
Much of the difficulty here was to transcribe acceptably well the message conveyed by the images. Especially the last one, which depicts a slew of wolves ensnared by the rabbits' devices. I fear the solution i came with was somewhat underwhelming. :(
On the contrary, I added some extra creep to the factory to make it more the semblance of a nazi camp. I don't think it panned out :P
I agree the beginning was extraneous, I added it because I thought it would make the link with the prompt more obvious. Which was a bad decision if any.
In any case, I was really surprised that you appreciated this “cute mid-tier story”, as GGA aptly described it, enough to let it slip into the finals. This was unexpected and pleasant, so thanks a bunch for that too! ;)
PS: Back to Sisyphus. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” writes Camus. Maybe I'm Sisyphus, and that boulder is a metaphor for the many stories I submitted round after round to the WriteOff. In that case, Camus is right! ;)
Good Little Bunny
This story was translated/adapted from this French children book whose title exactly means the same. This book is a cute allegory about [the endless struggle between] capitalism and anarchism (at least to me) and is the epitome of the good children book: cute, fun, happy ending, but with a different takeaway whether you're the kid or the adult.
Much of the difficulty here was to transcribe acceptably well the message conveyed by the images. Especially the last one, which depicts a slew of wolves ensnared by the rabbits' devices. I fear the solution i came with was somewhat underwhelming. :(
On the contrary, I added some extra creep to the factory to make it more the semblance of a nazi camp. I don't think it panned out :P
I agree the beginning was extraneous, I added it because I thought it would make the link with the prompt more obvious. Which was a bad decision if any.
In any case, I was really surprised that you appreciated this “cute mid-tier story”, as GGA aptly described it, enough to let it slip into the finals. This was unexpected and pleasant, so thanks a bunch for that too! ;)
PS: Back to Sisyphus. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” writes Camus. Maybe I'm Sisyphus, and that boulder is a metaphor for the many stories I submitted round after round to the WriteOff. In that case, Camus is right! ;)