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Has That Always Been There? · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
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Froggy!
There was once a frog who felt the need to scream.

So he did.

The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
And then Twilight turned the frog into an orange, because frogs are much better as oranges.
« Prev   16   Next »
#1 · 5
·
CONGRATULATIONS!!
MY PERSONAL WINNER FOR THIS ROUND.


PS: Unfortunately I skipped it.
#2 · 2
·
Oh:

The huge manatees.

Next, please.

Mike
#3 · 5
· · >>Syeekoh
This piece maintains a strong linearity of narrative structure, which can lend great power to a work. However, I find that the author’s focus on a single character undermines the whole, as the other characters seem unable to find a voice.

Tier: Shed.
As in, take it out to the shed.
#4 · 4
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony >>Morning Sun
>>GroaningGreyAgony
I think you're missing the protagonist's transfiguration by outside forces is actually a political allegory representing how many people feel like the world has changed from under their feet, ironically due to a frog.
#5 · 3
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
Actually, you should be able to see the frog's struggle for identity in a world where his/her/xe's color has been abruptly and cruelly changed in a forcible fashion by forces beyond comprehension, thus forcing froggy into a new world shaped to expectations the frog is unable meet without significant financial recompensation from the aggressor.

Green lives matter!
#6 · 3
· · >>Morning Sun
>>Syeekoh
>>georg

I acknowledge these points, but I find myself more intrigued by the author’s take on minimalism. Not since Ted Geisel won his famous fifty-word wager have we seen such a tale of heartfelt rage, primal outcries, and transformation and transcendence, all rendered in thirty two unique words, including plurals! If this author simply chooses a broader paintbrush, we may expect prodigies in the future. For now, my reservations remain unchanged.
#7 · 2
·
I had to double check to make sure I hadn't accidentally entered this round, because I have seriously considered submitting a story like this before. (And I'm not just referring to my magnum opus, which did include something similar.)
This made me laugh, which I'm sure is all it really set out to do.

Just don't let Roger see this, as he will probably kill it.
#8 · 3
·
10/10 would ribbit again
#9 ·
· · >>Syeekoh
Wait, you expected us to read the same line, over and over?
How does mentioning the name of a Character count as being relevant to anything?
#10 ·
·
>>Ritsuko
I'm guessing you feel into their trap, then.
#11 · 2
·
>>Syeekoh
>>GroaningGreyAgony

Syeekoh has to have it on the nose, I mean, consider - everyone thought we were due for a frog, but at the last moment it turned into an orange. It's definitely a commentary on political affairs, and how nothing changes. Oranges, after all, just lay there and don't move, which may be a step up from endless croaking in that at least you can sleep better.
#12 · 6
·
Sorry author, I don't think this story is aimed at me.

I simply don't like oranges.
#13 · 4
·
I'm very glad I chose not to enter this round. There's no way I could compete with such a multilayered masterpiece.
#14 · 4
·
Meh, litfic.
#15 · 3
· · >>Syeekoh >>bloons3
I don't know whether to be amused or depressed that this entry has the largest discourse out of any in the current round.

8/10
#16 · 2
· · >>Trick_Question
>>Posh
You just don't get true literature.

Froggy! will be taught in school curricula 50 years from now as the pinnacle of its day.
#17 ·
·
>>Posh
Both.

I found the 33rd
The little froggy went "Ribbit!"
to be droll, but the 90th was spectacular!
#18 · 3
· · >>Posh
>>Syeekoh
I can't begin to say how disheartened I am that random.org demands I read and review Froggy! last. I have no idea what this story is about. But judging by the comments, it will certainly make the cut, so I have plenty of time.
#19 · 1
·
Meh, that last line killed this one for me.
#20 ·
·
>>Trick_Question oh, you're gonna have a blast.
#21 · 3
·
Besides, I'm touched that this story is about a frog.
As a matter of fact, it could be me that story is about.
Thanks for that.
#22 · 4
· · >>Monokeras
While I could be fun and read too much into nonsense, I'll instead be a curmudgeon:

I think it's a bit rude to submit a non-story to a contest where lots of people are trying very hard to write a good one.
#23 · 1
·
>>Feris
On the other hand, it won't distract you for long. It reads fairly easily.
#24 · 1
·
I couldn't help myself. I had to read this out of turn.

I could joke about this not following the prompt and how I hate to accuse somepony of that, but this isn't a serious submission for a short story round. The humor people are getting out of it does not excuse its submission. This story shouldn't have been entered in the competition.

I'd be much more forgiving if this were a minific round. Forcing the reader to scroll down for ten to twenty pages isn't acceptable, and joke submissions that don't meet the minimum standards of the competition—you need to try to write a story—aren't acceptable.
#25 · 2
· · >>Syeekoh
Sadly, the most commented on story on writeoff.
#26 ·
·
>>bloons3

Only appropriate for literature of that caliber.
#27 ·
·
I just now noticed this story has a lot of comments.
#28 · 6
· · >>Trick_Question >>Trick_Question
Retrospective : Froggy

I'm sorry :(

If anyone wants to see it on fimfic, I'm looking to rework it as something oddball, like


Twilight zaps the frog with her spell, transfiguring it into an orange.

*I SCREAM BUT NO ONE LISTENS.*
"Ribbit."

*THE PAIN OF LIVING*
"Ribbit."

*THE PAIN OF EXIXSTENCE*
"Ribbit."

*WHY MUST I SUFFER SO?*
"Ribbit?"

Spike walked up to the table, and looked at the frog-orange curiously.
"Huh, Twilight was here..." he muttered.

TAKE MY LIFE, TAKE THE AGONY OF EXISTENCE, GREEN REPTILIAN. YOU KNOW THE CRIMES OF THE PURPLE DEATH
"Ribbit."



Or...


Fluttershy can communicate with every animal, but there's one she pretends not to hear...

"Twilight, you need to turn this orange back into a frog."

"Why's that Fluttershy?"

"It has the worst accent, and everything it says is depraved. He's worse than my Prench friend Pierre."

The frorange hopped over.
"Wie wie, mi amor. I can do things with my baugette that will have you screaming. Hon hon hon!"

Or
"Aww, that little froggy looks so cute," Twilight said.

The frog hopped up on Fluttershy's shoulder and whispered into her ear.

"*Your little friend does not know the things I wish to do to your croissant. Remember, if you tell anyone, I will kill you and do unspeakable things to your body. Hon-hon-hon!"

With that, the frog leapt away to a nearby countertop, watching. Always watching.
Post by Trick_Question , deleted
#30 · 4
· · >>Monokeras
>>bloons3
"It has the worst accent, and everything it says is depraved. He's worse than my Prench friend Pierre."


bonus points if you name it Monokeras

:trollestia:
#31 · 1
·
>>Trick_Question
I didn't see that before. Bang on Trick. Also 💖
#32 · 1
·
Hopping in here from the future to review this story. Some of these reviewers rib it, but I like it, warts and all.

I'd like to assure you that I'm no toady seeking approval⁠—no bull. Frog story is good, more than just a tad. Poll your friends⁠; I'm sure they'll agree. Please, join me in promoting this story, so that it can win the author a literary prize. I'd like to accomplish this dream before I croak.

Thank you