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The Trapper's trap, trapped the Trapper.
While I could argue about the twisting of the original story, but I guess it still works here, setting up the stage.
It was quite the fluffy little tail, alright. Just one item, the scene brakes doesn't seem to conform to the purpose put forth here. While they may be correctly put, where they are.
While I could argue about the twisting of the original story, but I guess it still works here, setting up the stage.
It was quite the fluffy little tail, alright. Just one item, the scene brakes doesn't seem to conform to the purpose put forth here. While they may be correctly put, where they are.
>>Frogmyre
the best start for the Single Frog may be to dealing with the Single issue and get another Frog by your side?
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Of course you can, assuming you identify your purpetrator and can prove it within reasonbable doubts
>>billymorph
I am all with you, right there.
>>billymorph
No Fan-Fare, but aside from that ..
the best start for the Single Frog may be to dealing with the Single issue and get another Frog by your side?
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Of course you can, assuming you identify your purpetrator and can prove it within reasonbable doubts
>>billymorph
I am all with you, right there.
>>billymorph
No Fan-Fare, but aside from that ..
Names and titles lift a storyabove the original story, or drawn it under the surface before the story is told.
where are the "Ponies"?
where are the "Ponies"?
These Names comes off as half hearted and not quite to the point.
Yet, I enjoy the more exact knowing of Pony mentality.
Some nice knowing of how to acuse one to hide the true perpetrator too.
Yet, I enjoy the more exact knowing of Pony mentality.
Some nice knowing of how to acuse one to hide the true perpetrator too.
Point 1, it is Cutie Map.
Applejack sounds too far removed from the farm in her speach here.
Property taxes? in Ponyville?
Theocratic Monarchy ^^
oh, and well played..
Applejack sounds too far removed from the farm in her speach here.
Property taxes? in Ponyville?
Theocratic Monarchy ^^
oh, and well played..
While it feels as if the story lack the energy to draw me in, it doesn't lack finess in the trickery to get Starlight.
First off, since it is Military and Russia, you could have bother adding a few more words of description early on?
I find some issues with the punctuation, even if I guess it is less of a problem.
if the voice is identifying itself, the lack of tag kind of cancles itself out.
On the other hand, even if it can be acceptable to have Action in a Dialogue paragraph, but this does require a correct connection between the Dialogue and the Action taking place.
This does however not work.
I find some issues with the punctuation, even if I guess it is less of a problem.
if the voice is identifying itself, the lack of tag kind of cancles itself out.
On the other hand, even if it can be acceptable to have Action in a Dialogue paragraph, but this does require a correct connection between the Dialogue and the Action taking place.
“Prepare the radar-homing missiles?”
Pause. “Negative. For now, we shall just look.”
This does however not work.