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#3069 · 10
· on I'm Sure You Have Some Questions · >>Baal Bunny
The only thing this story is missing is a third scene where Scootaloo gives Rainbow a hoofbump for having sex with AJ and Rarity.
#5683 · 10
·
The writeoff hasn't even started yet and my entry has already been outdone by some people goofing around in this thread.
#7415 · 9
· on Everybody's Fool: Chapter 47 PLS NO FLAMES
This story is exactly what I hoped it would be when I saw the title. The fact that I am still not sure if that is a good thing or not probably says a lot about this story.

If i dont get at least intu the finals of dis DUBM CONTEST im not evn goin 2 write a respons. HA!

What's the cutoff before prelims are canceled and we go straight to finals? Because with only 17 stories in this round, you might have made it by default. Not that you wouldn't have made it anyway, of course. ;p

AN: SO APPARENTLY this stupd contest has a MINIMUM WORD COUNT. I was gonna enter 1 of my chapters 4 it so I could get some revews from ppl NOT TROLS cause i want 2 get bettr. But 2000 words is just 2 MANY 4 a chaptr! So I hav 2 write MORE until I hit that limit!!

No character in any story has ever been so relatable to me.
#10114 · 7
· · >>CoffeeMinion
>>horizon
inb4 horizon medals
#3267 · 6
·
>>FanOfMostEverything
I'm Sure You Have Some Astronomy Questions: Twilight finds the perfect way to answer Spike's question through her friends' antics. Spike regrets everything.


He shouldn't have asked her to explain the three-body problem.
#10955 · 6
· · >>Foehn
For the first time in almost six months, I have submitted a story! It's not the best thing I've ever written, and it took way too long to write, but I did write it!
#4219 · 5
· on Opal, Gemstones, Salt, Wood, Crystal and Stubbornness · >>MrNumbers
>>MrNumbers
This story was written as satire of sadfics, everything I hate about the genre, why they work anyway, and how they tend to do critically well in spite of it.

Honestly, if I had known that, this story would have been knocked down to near the bottom of my ballot. As satire, this story fails miserably. Even though I know that it's supposed to be satire, I still can't see it. When I read this story, all I see is a standard sadfic.
It takes more than just writing a sadfic ironically to make it satire. You need to write a story that is sad, but has an at least somewhat clear "this is stupid" message. If you wanted to do that, I would have recommended making the story about Luna instead walking through the Ponyville cemetery, remembering the lives and deaths of every single pony you can think of. It would be sad, but it would also be a bit ridiculous, and it would have a clear "everyone dies, so stop making such a big deal about it" message.
#2416 · 4
· on Swan and Albatross · >>QuillScratch
>>Ratlab
Your post has reminded me that I explained why I think the relationship didn't move too fast in the chat, but I didn't say much about it in my review. So let me fix that now.
Basically, you hit the nail on the head, but didn't realize it.
Are they playing by different social conventions? If so, we are given no indication of this.

Yes, they are, and yes, we are.
They are playing by the social conventions of fairy tales (which may or may not have any correlation with the social conventions of the times when they were written; I really have no idea either way), and the fact that this story is written like a fairy tale should be enough to clue us into that. And in fairy tales, love at first sight is so common as to practically be the norm, and it's certainly perfectly normal for characters to profess their love almost immediately and to call each other things like "my love" before they even know their names. What looks like a declaration of love to us is often just standard flirting by fairy tale standards.
And while I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, I am fairly sure that the whole "We were in love, but then we were apart for so long and I fell in love with and married someone else" thing is something that has happened in fairy tales before. And even if it isn't, it really feels like it could be to me.
#2491 · 4
· on Waiting: The Simple Solution to All Problems
I'm going to second >>FrontSevens on this one.

This story is quite funny on the surface, and when you read into it more to see the actual narrative, it just becomes funnier, even though that story is kind of sad.

My biggest complaint is that I feel like the story is trying a bit too hard to be funny at times (the "©™" thing is the most egregious example for me), but it's not enough of a problem for the story to wrap back around to being unfunny, or anything like that.

These sorts of things also usually add a small "normal" example towards the end before returning to the growing ridiculousness. I know that you are practically at the word limit, but adding something like
Yardwork:
Once the seasons change, it won't matter anyway. EWTBPSFI Rating: a few months.

in there somewhere, possibly after "Wife Cheating on You," might add to the humor.

And thank you for adding some more comedy to this round.
#2678 · 4
· on When Time Doesn't Help · >>Trick_Question
Advertisements are the new feghoots!
At least, that's what it seems, based on the general reaction to my story. And I am perfectly okay with that.

Most of my thoughts about this story and it's problems can be seen in my review of it over here: >>The_Letter_J. I think the only thing I left out of it, and which a few other people mentioned, is that the dialogue wasn't very realistic. Like I said in the chat while writing the story, "I've realized I have no idea how real people talk." I do regret not making the story read more like an actual commercial, but I'm still happy with how it turned out overall. I was expecting it to completely bomb, so the fact that it even made the finals is amazing to me.

In case anyone was wondering, I did come up with the idea for this story while eating some Domino's pizza. After a few hours of brainstorming, I had decided that none of my ideas were any good, and I decided that I wouldn't try to write anything. Then we had Domino's for dinner, and the tagline came to me. So then I spent the last few hours of the competition writing a story around that line.

>>TheCyanRecluse
I actually really like Domino's. Though to be fair, I'm the type of person who would probably enjoy cheese-covered cardboard if you called it "pizza." I don't think I've ever had a pizza I didn't like. (At least as far as brands go. There are some toppings that I definitely don't like.)

>>Trick_Question
I sensed sexual tension between Amy and Heather,

I believe that's what we call "Seeing Things That Aren't There." Or at the very least, it's not something I was trying to include. But it doesn't really matter for the story either way.
as well as sexual tension between Heather and Dom.

"Dom" was supposed to be short for "Domino's," not the name of the guy delivering the pizza.

Also also, since the timing was perfect, the title is totally wrong.

But time didn't help Heather get over her breakup. Pizza did.

And thank you to everyone else who read and commented as well. I'm glad that you all seemed to enjoy it.
>>Oblomov
>>axis_of_rotation
>>georg
>>Leo
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>Orbiting_kettle
>>horizon
>>TitaniumDragon