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Kintsugi
Pinkie Pie crawled beneath her bed to get the last of the deflated balloons from their hidey hole. She came out of the tight confines between floor and dreamland with the resolution to sweep more often. Her pink coat had streaks of grey, and enigmatic balls of lint were stuck on her mane.
She placed her fallen friends into a box, watching them flop around sadly, with no bounce in them. She sighed, giving a silent promise to breath life back into them as soon as she was done. A framed photo of her sisters had fallen to the floor, and she picked it up as she headed for her closet, avoiding the small shards of glass.
With a rustle, as strong and gentle as a sussurating whisper, a huge pile of confetti fell on Pinkie Pie as soon as she opened the closet door. Little papers of all sizes and colors buried her underneath their mass. It took a few seconds for the pink earth pony to climb out of it with a gasp, seeking fresh air for her lungs, and spitting out pieces of colorful paper.
Pinkie Pie hopped out of the gigantic pile, and shoved her head back in, only to come out again almost instantly, holding the picture frame in her mouth. She carefully placed it on a clear spot on a small table, and turned to examine the newfound disaster.
Every little bag of her carefully disorganized bags had ripped open and combined into a huge mass, with no regards for the careful ratios of colors she kept for every occasion. The birthday confetti was socializing with the holiday confetti, the Nightmare Night confetti was a ghost of its former self, and the reunion packs had come apart.
Pinkie walked to the window and stuck her head outside, shaking it up, down, and all around, dislodging the mess on her hair in a celebratory fashion. Rose, who was sweeping next door, shook her hoof at her for adding more of a mess, and Pinkie returned the gesture, only waving her own hoof over her head with a merry smile instead.
Ponies around Ponyville where either out on the streets right outside their homes, or inside, fixing up and cleaning the damages, just like Pinkie did, after Spike’s rampage as a huge dragon. Dragon footprints had to be filled in, houses had to be repaired, and the water tower replaced, as well as find a way to undo the damage the excess water did when it overflowed Ponyville’s flowerbeds.
There was also plenty of mud, but that was ok. Mud could be fun, and it would dry out on its own anyway.
Pinkie Pie’s lodgings hadn’t been targeted by the baby, huge dragon, but just the tremors of his steps were enough to cause plenty of damage. Luckily for Pinkie, she didn’t really posses a lot of breakable stuff.
Thinking of it, she turned to her bed. She didn’t have a lot, but she had a few, and some of it was really precious. A little decorative statue of a pony clown made of porcelain laid in pieces on a checkered cloth. Pinkie Pie tied up the corners, making sure she had found all the pieces first, and left her room, in search of the only power in Equestria that could help her little clown friend ride his tiny cycle smiling again.
Glue.
Pinkie Pie walked out of the store, smiling. She had found not only glue, but little jars of paint, bright and colorful shades that she couldn’t wait to find a use for. She was humming merrily on her way back to Sugarcube Corner, when a gentle breeze brought the world’s worst sound to her fuzzy ears.
Somepony was crying behind a row of bushes, in the schoolyard. It was too late in the day for any colts or fillies to be there, but that didn’t matter to Pinkie Pie, vanquisher of sadness and bringer of joy. Somepony was sad, and it was her job to bring that frown upside down or offer a shoulder for the sad pony.
Happiness was meant to be shared, Pinkie Pie knew that better than anypony. Sadness was so too, only some ponies always thought they should be sad on their own, tearing up in corners alone. Pinkie Pie couldn’t blame them for that, but she called herself everypony’s friend in Ponyville, and a good friend is there for everything. Even the sad stuff.
Pinkie Pie creeped around the tall foliage, leaning her head around to see who was hiding on their own.
Spike sat on the grass, with his back turned to the bushes that hid him from casual observers. He had his little clawed arms around his tiny legs and was whimpering into his knees. Pinkie’s heart felt a little painful squeeze. She crept back, and instead of going around, popped through the thin branches, ignoring the little stabs and pulls at her coat, jumping on Spike from behind with a wide, honest smile.
“Hey there, Spikey! What up?” she called out, giving him a quick squeeze of a hug.
The baby dragon whirled around, frantically running his palms down his eyes and face, trying to dry out and hide the evidence of what he was doing only moments before. “Oh, hey Pinkie,” he said with a fake cheer in his voice. “What’s up?”
Pinkie Pie wasn’t fooled for a second, but she didn’t let him know that. The choking in his words was as plain as a vanilla ice cream. “Doing some chores,” she answered, lifting her small shopping bag. “You?”
“Oh, uh… Same,” he shot back, getting on his feet. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve gotta run and do mine too. See you.”
Pinkie Pie watched him turn his back on her and step away. She waited for him to do a single step before speaking up. “Were you crying because the chores are so bad?”
Spike froze in place, and a moment later his shoulders slumped. “You heard me, huh?”
Pinkie Pie put her hooves very close together, even though the baby dragon wasn’t watching her. “Just an itty, tiny bit. Do you want to talk?”
The dragon fell backwards on his tail, that wrapped around him as soon as he sat. “Not much to say. Everypony hates me.”
“That’s not true,” Pinkie said, quietly.
“It is,” Spike insisted. “Everypony does-”
“No, it’s not,” Pinkie Pie insisted back with greater fervor, hopping next to him. “I don’t hate you, and I’m part of everypony. Ergo, not everypony hates you, thus your statement is untrue.” She gasped as if struck by a sudden clarity of thought. “Oh my gosh! I bet that’s even more of a lie than that, and nopony hates you at all. Bad Spike, no cookies tonight!”
Spike’s eyebrows lowered aggressively towards her. “Easy for you to say,” he said, half-muttering. “You’re everypony’s favorite pony.”
“And you’re everypony’s favorite dragon!” Pinkie Pie answered back, holding her hoof up for a high-hoof.
Spike rudely ignored her, burying his face on the inside of his arms once more, taking a position almost identical to what Pinkie first saw him in. “I’m the only dragon here…” he whispered.
“Which makes you even more precious,” Pinkie Pie said, trying to push her muzzle through the underside of his arms. “Is it fun in there? Can I come too?”
“Pinkie!” Spike yelled, pushing her off when her muzzle booped his. “I almost destroyed Ponyville! What’s so hard to get?”
Pinkie Pie hopped on her hind legs and looked over the protective circle of greenery that was hiding them, looking at the remarkably un-destroyed Ponyville. “Looks fine to me,” she reported back.
Spike was gazing at the ground, pulling tufts of grass and throwing them to the wind. “Everypony was outside, cleaning up my mess, and- I was forcing them to give me presents, and how did I repay them?”
“By saying thank you?” Pinkie Pie tried to guess.
Draconic eyes glared at her harshly, trying to show her they were reaching the end of their patience. “By trying to stomp down Ponyville,” he said, lowering his little head. “They won’t put up with me much longer, I know it. It could happen again, and- and they’ll want me to go, and Twilight can’t leave, she has all her friends here, and I’ll be on my own, and- and- and-” The little dragon had started crying again, his shoulders shaking as he gave in to his sobs.
Pinkie Pie was right next to him in a second, holding him as he kept trying to talk through his tears.
“I- I was going on a chore for- for Twilight, and I- I saw everypony working, and- and they were- they were looking at me, they’d stop and look, and Daisy was crying because I de- I destroyed her flowers, I stepped on them, and-”
Pinkie Pie hugged him closer, making soothing sounds. “It’s ok, Spike. Nothing bad happened.”
“You’re just saying that because I didn’t break anything of yours,” the crying dragon said sullenly.
“Yes, you did,” Pinkie Pie said, the cheerful tone making Spike stop his wails enough to look up at her, caught by surprise.
“I- I did?”
“Yep!” She pulled the little bundle out of her shopping bag, and untied the knot, revealing the broken figurine. “See? Completely broken. Look at all those pieces. I might even be missing some! Oooh, the surface got scratched too. See there?”
“I’m sorry,” Spike whimpered, rubbing his eyes. “Was it important?”
“Important?” Pinkie Pie yelled, looking utterly scandalized. “My grandma gave it to me. It’s the oldest gift I have from her. Duh, of course it’s important. I love my little clownie!”
“I’m sorry!” Spike wailed. “You must hate me. I’m so sor-”
“Why would I hate you?” Pinkie Pie asked, utterly baffled.
“‘Cause- Because I broke your-”
“So?”
Spike was taken aback. He lifted a shy claw questioningly at her. “Aren’t you mad?”
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “That’s what some ponies say. Hey,” she said, pulling out the jar of special glue she bought just for this reason. “Want to help me glue it back? It will be like a puzzle!”
“I… You want me to help?”
“Yep!”
The dexterous claws reached for the jar. “Ok. Thanks, Pinkie Pie. I’m glad that you at least-”
“STOP!”
Spike fumbled and did a brief impression of a joggler as he tried to keep the glass jar of glue from falling down and breaking apart. “What, what?” he asked, panicked.
“I just had an ideeeea!” Pinkie Pie sang out. “Open the jar,” she instructed, pulling out another little container, this one filled with golden paint.
She poured a small portion of the paint into the glue and Spike used a small stick to stir it. After a few seconds the contents had turned golden, small metal flakes sparkling inside it.
“Ok!” Pinkie Pie said happily. “Now we can start fixing it.” She held up the clown’s head and the seat of the little cycle he used to ride. “Do you think we can turn him around?”
Time passed as pony and dragon worked together to reform the porcelain clown. Shadows of clouds and flying pegasi rolled over them under the rays of the sun as it crossed the sky. Twilight’s head peered over the bushes, as she had started worryingly searching for her assistant when he took too long to return. She watched her two friends having fun, and decided to leave them to it, letting Spike put his scales down after the day he had. Neither he nor Pinkie ever noticed she was there.
Rainbow Dash flew above, and waved at them when she spotted them, a gesture they failed to return, but went unnoticed by the cyan flyer, lost in her loops as she was. Fluttershy flew gently above them too, in one of her rare flights, and also greeted them. She wasn’t worried when she didn’t get a reply to her quiet words, and left them to their work, heading for her own chores.
Applejack and Rarity found them too, attracted by Spike’s laughter at Pinkie’s antics. Applejack tried to step forward and join them, but Rarity stopped her, shaking her head with a knowing smile, and pulled her away from the pair.
Little by little, fixing the mistakes they did, some of them on purpose, the porcelain statue regained its proper shape. Pinkie Pie took it in her hoof, and held it up. The white of the porcelain looked like soft snow, and gold colored veins ran all over the statue, glimmering in the rays of the sun.
“It looks beautiful…” Pinkie Pie cooed.
“It does,” Spike agreed, watching Pinkie Pie rotate the little clown on his cycle in awe. Pinkie Pie put it down gently, and then lunged at Spike for a sudden hug.
“Pinkie! What’s the big deal?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to hug you. Thank you for making it ever prettier than it was.”
Spike rubbed the back of his head, blushing. “It was nothing.”
Pinkie Pie picked up her grandmother’s gift and nuzzled it happily. “It’s so much better now! Now it can remind of both my grandmother and the fun we had together! Hey, you know what? You should do the same thing with the others.”
“What?”
“You heard me! We’ll do the same thing, and you’ll see nopony will even think about being mad at you, and make it all prettier than it was.” Pinkie Pie started pulling him along, heading for the center of the small town. “If you did that good of a job with my clownie, imagine what you- Oh my gosh, Daisy! Let me help you with your flowers! I got glue!”
“What?” the magenta coated pony said, staring wide eyed at Pinkie Pie as she hopped towards her flowers, brandishing a brush dripping something gold and sticky. “No! Spike, keep her out of there!”
Spike pulled Pinkie Pie away, dragging her by the tail and causing her to fall flat on her face just centimeters away from Daisy’s flowers. “It’s ok, Daisy,” Spike shouted. “I got her!”
Daisy breathed freely and ran a hoof over her forehead. “Thank you Spike. You’re a lifesaver.” She turned her back on the stunned dragon, and continued planting her valued flowers. “It’s nice to know I can count on you for help. Can you pass over these lilies before you go? I always wanted to add some here and this is a good opportunity as any.”
Pinkie Pie rolled on her back and watched Spike do as Daisy asked with rigid muscles. She returned Spike’s shocked look with a knowing one of her own. “Next one,” she whispered, winking at him with a smile, and dragged him behind her as they ran through Ponyville.
She placed her fallen friends into a box, watching them flop around sadly, with no bounce in them. She sighed, giving a silent promise to breath life back into them as soon as she was done. A framed photo of her sisters had fallen to the floor, and she picked it up as she headed for her closet, avoiding the small shards of glass.
With a rustle, as strong and gentle as a sussurating whisper, a huge pile of confetti fell on Pinkie Pie as soon as she opened the closet door. Little papers of all sizes and colors buried her underneath their mass. It took a few seconds for the pink earth pony to climb out of it with a gasp, seeking fresh air for her lungs, and spitting out pieces of colorful paper.
Pinkie Pie hopped out of the gigantic pile, and shoved her head back in, only to come out again almost instantly, holding the picture frame in her mouth. She carefully placed it on a clear spot on a small table, and turned to examine the newfound disaster.
Every little bag of her carefully disorganized bags had ripped open and combined into a huge mass, with no regards for the careful ratios of colors she kept for every occasion. The birthday confetti was socializing with the holiday confetti, the Nightmare Night confetti was a ghost of its former self, and the reunion packs had come apart.
Pinkie walked to the window and stuck her head outside, shaking it up, down, and all around, dislodging the mess on her hair in a celebratory fashion. Rose, who was sweeping next door, shook her hoof at her for adding more of a mess, and Pinkie returned the gesture, only waving her own hoof over her head with a merry smile instead.
Ponies around Ponyville where either out on the streets right outside their homes, or inside, fixing up and cleaning the damages, just like Pinkie did, after Spike’s rampage as a huge dragon. Dragon footprints had to be filled in, houses had to be repaired, and the water tower replaced, as well as find a way to undo the damage the excess water did when it overflowed Ponyville’s flowerbeds.
There was also plenty of mud, but that was ok. Mud could be fun, and it would dry out on its own anyway.
Pinkie Pie’s lodgings hadn’t been targeted by the baby, huge dragon, but just the tremors of his steps were enough to cause plenty of damage. Luckily for Pinkie, she didn’t really posses a lot of breakable stuff.
Thinking of it, she turned to her bed. She didn’t have a lot, but she had a few, and some of it was really precious. A little decorative statue of a pony clown made of porcelain laid in pieces on a checkered cloth. Pinkie Pie tied up the corners, making sure she had found all the pieces first, and left her room, in search of the only power in Equestria that could help her little clown friend ride his tiny cycle smiling again.
Glue.
Pinkie Pie walked out of the store, smiling. She had found not only glue, but little jars of paint, bright and colorful shades that she couldn’t wait to find a use for. She was humming merrily on her way back to Sugarcube Corner, when a gentle breeze brought the world’s worst sound to her fuzzy ears.
Somepony was crying behind a row of bushes, in the schoolyard. It was too late in the day for any colts or fillies to be there, but that didn’t matter to Pinkie Pie, vanquisher of sadness and bringer of joy. Somepony was sad, and it was her job to bring that frown upside down or offer a shoulder for the sad pony.
Happiness was meant to be shared, Pinkie Pie knew that better than anypony. Sadness was so too, only some ponies always thought they should be sad on their own, tearing up in corners alone. Pinkie Pie couldn’t blame them for that, but she called herself everypony’s friend in Ponyville, and a good friend is there for everything. Even the sad stuff.
Pinkie Pie creeped around the tall foliage, leaning her head around to see who was hiding on their own.
Spike sat on the grass, with his back turned to the bushes that hid him from casual observers. He had his little clawed arms around his tiny legs and was whimpering into his knees. Pinkie’s heart felt a little painful squeeze. She crept back, and instead of going around, popped through the thin branches, ignoring the little stabs and pulls at her coat, jumping on Spike from behind with a wide, honest smile.
“Hey there, Spikey! What up?” she called out, giving him a quick squeeze of a hug.
The baby dragon whirled around, frantically running his palms down his eyes and face, trying to dry out and hide the evidence of what he was doing only moments before. “Oh, hey Pinkie,” he said with a fake cheer in his voice. “What’s up?”
Pinkie Pie wasn’t fooled for a second, but she didn’t let him know that. The choking in his words was as plain as a vanilla ice cream. “Doing some chores,” she answered, lifting her small shopping bag. “You?”
“Oh, uh… Same,” he shot back, getting on his feet. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve gotta run and do mine too. See you.”
Pinkie Pie watched him turn his back on her and step away. She waited for him to do a single step before speaking up. “Were you crying because the chores are so bad?”
Spike froze in place, and a moment later his shoulders slumped. “You heard me, huh?”
Pinkie Pie put her hooves very close together, even though the baby dragon wasn’t watching her. “Just an itty, tiny bit. Do you want to talk?”
The dragon fell backwards on his tail, that wrapped around him as soon as he sat. “Not much to say. Everypony hates me.”
“That’s not true,” Pinkie said, quietly.
“It is,” Spike insisted. “Everypony does-”
“No, it’s not,” Pinkie Pie insisted back with greater fervor, hopping next to him. “I don’t hate you, and I’m part of everypony. Ergo, not everypony hates you, thus your statement is untrue.” She gasped as if struck by a sudden clarity of thought. “Oh my gosh! I bet that’s even more of a lie than that, and nopony hates you at all. Bad Spike, no cookies tonight!”
Spike’s eyebrows lowered aggressively towards her. “Easy for you to say,” he said, half-muttering. “You’re everypony’s favorite pony.”
“And you’re everypony’s favorite dragon!” Pinkie Pie answered back, holding her hoof up for a high-hoof.
Spike rudely ignored her, burying his face on the inside of his arms once more, taking a position almost identical to what Pinkie first saw him in. “I’m the only dragon here…” he whispered.
“Which makes you even more precious,” Pinkie Pie said, trying to push her muzzle through the underside of his arms. “Is it fun in there? Can I come too?”
“Pinkie!” Spike yelled, pushing her off when her muzzle booped his. “I almost destroyed Ponyville! What’s so hard to get?”
Pinkie Pie hopped on her hind legs and looked over the protective circle of greenery that was hiding them, looking at the remarkably un-destroyed Ponyville. “Looks fine to me,” she reported back.
Spike was gazing at the ground, pulling tufts of grass and throwing them to the wind. “Everypony was outside, cleaning up my mess, and- I was forcing them to give me presents, and how did I repay them?”
“By saying thank you?” Pinkie Pie tried to guess.
Draconic eyes glared at her harshly, trying to show her they were reaching the end of their patience. “By trying to stomp down Ponyville,” he said, lowering his little head. “They won’t put up with me much longer, I know it. It could happen again, and- and they’ll want me to go, and Twilight can’t leave, she has all her friends here, and I’ll be on my own, and- and- and-” The little dragon had started crying again, his shoulders shaking as he gave in to his sobs.
Pinkie Pie was right next to him in a second, holding him as he kept trying to talk through his tears.
“I- I was going on a chore for- for Twilight, and I- I saw everypony working, and- and they were- they were looking at me, they’d stop and look, and Daisy was crying because I de- I destroyed her flowers, I stepped on them, and-”
Pinkie Pie hugged him closer, making soothing sounds. “It’s ok, Spike. Nothing bad happened.”
“You’re just saying that because I didn’t break anything of yours,” the crying dragon said sullenly.
“Yes, you did,” Pinkie Pie said, the cheerful tone making Spike stop his wails enough to look up at her, caught by surprise.
“I- I did?”
“Yep!” She pulled the little bundle out of her shopping bag, and untied the knot, revealing the broken figurine. “See? Completely broken. Look at all those pieces. I might even be missing some! Oooh, the surface got scratched too. See there?”
“I’m sorry,” Spike whimpered, rubbing his eyes. “Was it important?”
“Important?” Pinkie Pie yelled, looking utterly scandalized. “My grandma gave it to me. It’s the oldest gift I have from her. Duh, of course it’s important. I love my little clownie!”
“I’m sorry!” Spike wailed. “You must hate me. I’m so sor-”
“Why would I hate you?” Pinkie Pie asked, utterly baffled.
“‘Cause- Because I broke your-”
“So?”
Spike was taken aback. He lifted a shy claw questioningly at her. “Aren’t you mad?”
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “That’s what some ponies say. Hey,” she said, pulling out the jar of special glue she bought just for this reason. “Want to help me glue it back? It will be like a puzzle!”
“I… You want me to help?”
“Yep!”
The dexterous claws reached for the jar. “Ok. Thanks, Pinkie Pie. I’m glad that you at least-”
“STOP!”
Spike fumbled and did a brief impression of a joggler as he tried to keep the glass jar of glue from falling down and breaking apart. “What, what?” he asked, panicked.
“I just had an ideeeea!” Pinkie Pie sang out. “Open the jar,” she instructed, pulling out another little container, this one filled with golden paint.
She poured a small portion of the paint into the glue and Spike used a small stick to stir it. After a few seconds the contents had turned golden, small metal flakes sparkling inside it.
“Ok!” Pinkie Pie said happily. “Now we can start fixing it.” She held up the clown’s head and the seat of the little cycle he used to ride. “Do you think we can turn him around?”
Time passed as pony and dragon worked together to reform the porcelain clown. Shadows of clouds and flying pegasi rolled over them under the rays of the sun as it crossed the sky. Twilight’s head peered over the bushes, as she had started worryingly searching for her assistant when he took too long to return. She watched her two friends having fun, and decided to leave them to it, letting Spike put his scales down after the day he had. Neither he nor Pinkie ever noticed she was there.
Rainbow Dash flew above, and waved at them when she spotted them, a gesture they failed to return, but went unnoticed by the cyan flyer, lost in her loops as she was. Fluttershy flew gently above them too, in one of her rare flights, and also greeted them. She wasn’t worried when she didn’t get a reply to her quiet words, and left them to their work, heading for her own chores.
Applejack and Rarity found them too, attracted by Spike’s laughter at Pinkie’s antics. Applejack tried to step forward and join them, but Rarity stopped her, shaking her head with a knowing smile, and pulled her away from the pair.
Little by little, fixing the mistakes they did, some of them on purpose, the porcelain statue regained its proper shape. Pinkie Pie took it in her hoof, and held it up. The white of the porcelain looked like soft snow, and gold colored veins ran all over the statue, glimmering in the rays of the sun.
“It looks beautiful…” Pinkie Pie cooed.
“It does,” Spike agreed, watching Pinkie Pie rotate the little clown on his cycle in awe. Pinkie Pie put it down gently, and then lunged at Spike for a sudden hug.
“Pinkie! What’s the big deal?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to hug you. Thank you for making it ever prettier than it was.”
Spike rubbed the back of his head, blushing. “It was nothing.”
Pinkie Pie picked up her grandmother’s gift and nuzzled it happily. “It’s so much better now! Now it can remind of both my grandmother and the fun we had together! Hey, you know what? You should do the same thing with the others.”
“What?”
“You heard me! We’ll do the same thing, and you’ll see nopony will even think about being mad at you, and make it all prettier than it was.” Pinkie Pie started pulling him along, heading for the center of the small town. “If you did that good of a job with my clownie, imagine what you- Oh my gosh, Daisy! Let me help you with your flowers! I got glue!”
“What?” the magenta coated pony said, staring wide eyed at Pinkie Pie as she hopped towards her flowers, brandishing a brush dripping something gold and sticky. “No! Spike, keep her out of there!”
Spike pulled Pinkie Pie away, dragging her by the tail and causing her to fall flat on her face just centimeters away from Daisy’s flowers. “It’s ok, Daisy,” Spike shouted. “I got her!”
Daisy breathed freely and ran a hoof over her forehead. “Thank you Spike. You’re a lifesaver.” She turned her back on the stunned dragon, and continued planting her valued flowers. “It’s nice to know I can count on you for help. Can you pass over these lilies before you go? I always wanted to add some here and this is a good opportunity as any.”
Pinkie Pie rolled on her back and watched Spike do as Daisy asked with rigid muscles. She returned Spike’s shocked look with a knowing one of her own. “Next one,” she whispered, winking at him with a smile, and dragged him behind her as they ran through Ponyville.
Oh, right, the crack-mending method from that one story about Starlight Glimmer learning how to cast glue magic. This should be interesting.
The confetti jokes are far funnier than they have any right to be.
A great story showing Pinkie at her best. Simple, but effective. The only negative thing I can say is that some of the cameos felt a little tacked on. Thank you for this. I get the feeling I’m going to need some positivity with other stories this time around.
The confetti jokes are far funnier than they have any right to be.
A great story showing Pinkie at her best. Simple, but effective. The only negative thing I can say is that some of the cameos felt a little tacked on. Thank you for this. I get the feeling I’m going to need some positivity with other stories this time around.
>>FanOfMostEverything
The what-now story with GlimGlam? Got a link?
This started out curious and cute and ended really, really strong. This is absolutely Pinkie Pie in pure Perfect Pie Power mode. Sugar and sweet and my eyes may be just a little bit smile-wet.
Maybe. I won't ever admit to it for certain. Only nitpick?
Still?
Tier : Top Contender
The what-now story with GlimGlam? Got a link?
This started out curious and cute and ended really, really strong. This is absolutely Pinkie Pie in pure Perfect Pie Power mode. Sugar and sweet and my eyes may be just a little bit smile-wet.
Maybe. I won't ever admit to it for certain. Only nitpick?
Ponyville where either out-> Should be 'were' instead of 'where'.
Still?
Tier : Top Contender
>>Morning Sun
My story, actually:
"Bowled Over" is the story I would've written for the "End of an Era" prompt back in July, but I was getting ready for the San Diego Comic Con so I didn't actually write the story till August... :)
Mike
The what-now story with GlimGlam? Got a link?
My story, actually:
"Bowled Over" is the story I would've written for the "End of an Era" prompt back in July, but I was getting ready for the San Diego Comic Con so I didn't actually write the story till August... :)
Mike
This was... really nice.
And I don't mean it in a condescending way, I had a grin plastered over my face as I finished the story. This was really heartwarming.
I always appreciate when someone takes the less tread path of making a solid SoL fluff and making it engaging instead of trying to go over the top and ending with a lackluster story that bit more than it could chew.
I loved the characterisation and interactions you had here. "Pinkie Pie in pure Perfect Pie Power mode", indeed. And thanks for not beating us over the head with the Aesop, but rather showing us Spike's steps to mending his relationships with the rest of Ponyville.
My only gripe with the story would be that several scenes in the middle section flew a bit too fast. As Fan already said, the rest of the Mane6 did little to help the core of the story beyond "And she's here too" moments. Also, I personally would have liked to spend a bit more time with Pinkie and Spike as they went about fixing the clown. Nothing to go overboard, just letting us see how they bond.
Still, a solid piece, and one of the highlights of this round for me so far.
And I don't mean it in a condescending way, I had a grin plastered over my face as I finished the story. This was really heartwarming.
I always appreciate when someone takes the less tread path of making a solid SoL fluff and making it engaging instead of trying to go over the top and ending with a lackluster story that bit more than it could chew.
I loved the characterisation and interactions you had here. "Pinkie Pie in pure Perfect Pie Power mode", indeed. And thanks for not beating us over the head with the Aesop, but rather showing us Spike's steps to mending his relationships with the rest of Ponyville.
My only gripe with the story would be that several scenes in the middle section flew a bit too fast. As Fan already said, the rest of the Mane6 did little to help the core of the story beyond "And she's here too" moments. Also, I personally would have liked to spend a bit more time with Pinkie and Spike as they went about fixing the clown. Nothing to go overboard, just letting us see how they bond.
Still, a solid piece, and one of the highlights of this round for me so far.
“You’re just saying that because I didn’t break anything of yours,” the crying dragon said sullenly.
“Yes, you did,” Pinkie Pie said, the cheerful tone making Spike stop his wails enough to look up at her, caught by surprise.
Yeah, you completely destroyed her business. Remember? Sheesh.
Sarcasm aside, this was a sweet little slice-of-life bit, and it dealt with one of my favorite episodes, to boot. Cute, funny, heartfelt... flawed, but those have been enumerated already. I don't think much would be gained by compounding them.
I wasn't wowed, but I was entertained. You did good, author.
The Great
Short, sweet, and to the point. Very smooth arc. You do a good job transitioning into the core plot and tying it to the opening, then resolving both together. I realize this is a short compliment, but I really can't emphasize it enough because it is a tremendous thing to get right: this is just a wonderful and pleasant little arc that starts, happens, and ends neatly.
You have an excellent grasp of Pinkie's voice and the cadence of your prose matches with it very well. The rhythm is just nice and easy to read. Similarly, you do a good job with your word selection. Like, the confetti paragraph is super smartly written, and says a lot about Pinkie without ever addressing her directly.
The Rough
I think another layer of polish needs to be applied. While you do a good job with the voice, there are a lot of places where I feel you could clean up the writing. For example...
I feel this whole bit is stronger if you remove the second clause. It conceptually undermines the first clause. Yes, I realize they are essentially saying the same thing, but "carefully disorganized" is cute and punchy while "careful ratios" is tonally dissonant. Basically, one feels more Pinkie than the other, so they end up clashing.
Stuff like that crops up a fair amount. While I appreciate that you want to over-write Pinkie for the voice, I think you do it a bit more than necessary and it would help to just reign it in a little.
You also do weird things with tense in a couple places.
I think it reads a lot better if you just stick to the past tense.
Since you do it so strongly, you also might want to make sure you push this as much into Pinkie's voice as possible. There are instances (I'm looking at you "sussurating whisper") where the narration feels very authorial, which is jarring when so much of it is delivered in a Pinkie tone with Pinkie metaphors.
Short, sweet, and to the point. Very smooth arc. You do a good job transitioning into the core plot and tying it to the opening, then resolving both together. I realize this is a short compliment, but I really can't emphasize it enough because it is a tremendous thing to get right: this is just a wonderful and pleasant little arc that starts, happens, and ends neatly.
You have an excellent grasp of Pinkie's voice and the cadence of your prose matches with it very well. The rhythm is just nice and easy to read. Similarly, you do a good job with your word selection. Like, the confetti paragraph is super smartly written, and says a lot about Pinkie without ever addressing her directly.
The Rough
I think another layer of polish needs to be applied. While you do a good job with the voice, there are a lot of places where I feel you could clean up the writing. For example...
Every little bag of her carefully disorganized bags had ripped open and combined into a huge mass, with no regards for the careful ratios of colors she kept for every occasion.
I feel this whole bit is stronger if you remove the second clause. It conceptually undermines the first clause. Yes, I realize they are essentially saying the same thing, but "carefully disorganized" is cute and punchy while "careful ratios" is tonally dissonant. Basically, one feels more Pinkie than the other, so they end up clashing.
Stuff like that crops up a fair amount. While I appreciate that you want to over-write Pinkie for the voice, I think you do it a bit more than necessary and it would help to just reign it in a little.
You also do weird things with tense in a couple places.
She poured a small portion of the paint into the glue and Spike used a small stick to stir it. After a few seconds the contents had turned golden, small metal flakes sparkling inside it.
I think it reads a lot better if you just stick to the past tense.
Since you do it so strongly, you also might want to make sure you push this as much into Pinkie's voice as possible. There are instances (I'm looking at you "sussurating whisper") where the narration feels very authorial, which is jarring when so much of it is delivered in a Pinkie tone with Pinkie metaphors.
A nice and sweet little story that I really don't have much to say about. I agree with whoever said that you could have done without the token appearances of the rest of the mane six, but beyond that, there isn't really anything I would change.
But as I've mentioned before, even though I could tell that this story was very good, my personal enjoyment of it didn't match its quality. But there's nothing you can do about that, author, and this wills till end up rather high on my ballot.
But as I've mentioned before, even though I could tell that this story was very good, my personal enjoyment of it didn't match its quality. But there's nothing you can do about that, author, and this wills till end up rather high on my ballot.
Genre: Slice of heartwarming
Thoughts: This is a simple and straightforward story that does exactly what it sets out to do: warm the reader's heart, just as Pinkie warms Spike's heart.
Others have mentioned that the cameos at the end were less effective, and I agree; they intrude into what's otherwise a great few moments between Spike and Pinkie. They also distract from the imagery of the gold-veined figurine, which could use more time in the spotlight to achieve maximum effectiveness.
Tier: Strong (geez, how many Strong ratings have I given out this Writeoff?! Must be a good batch!)
Thoughts: This is a simple and straightforward story that does exactly what it sets out to do: warm the reader's heart, just as Pinkie warms Spike's heart.
Others have mentioned that the cameos at the end were less effective, and I agree; they intrude into what's otherwise a great few moments between Spike and Pinkie. They also distract from the imagery of the gold-veined figurine, which could use more time in the spotlight to achieve maximum effectiveness.
Tier: Strong (geez, how many Strong ratings have I given out this Writeoff?! Must be a good batch!)
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just an impatient reader. This took, like, an entire half-scene to clue me in to context, and I feel like that's a bit too long? Maybe it's not, though, and I'm just crazy. :/
This had some really good lines in it. It's an effective character piece, and I found it enjoyable once I had a little context on the situation and started to see where it was going (around the bit about the dragon rampage) and was hooked into something interesting going on (around the 'glue' line.) I'd suggest putting that 'glue' bit at the very top, and the dragon bit right after, and then the re-organizing scene, and then have her leave her room? But as I said, maybe I'm just an impatient reader and/or crazy.
Solid work, although I feel like the structure is a touch weaker than the line-by-line.
This had some really good lines in it. It's an effective character piece, and I found it enjoyable once I had a little context on the situation and started to see where it was going (around the bit about the dragon rampage) and was hooked into something interesting going on (around the 'glue' line.) I'd suggest putting that 'glue' bit at the very top, and the dragon bit right after, and then the re-organizing scene, and then have her leave her room? But as I said, maybe I'm just an impatient reader and/or crazy.
Solid work, although I feel like the structure is a touch weaker than the line-by-line.
Kintsugi — B — Really, really was flat at the beginning, picked up quite a bit at the glue/Spike section, rolled along at a good rate and slowed just a little at the end. The pieces of a really good story are in here, they just need the right kind of sparkly glue and polish. Quite a bit of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome in places, but pretty fair in others. Quite a few tells, just rough in general, much as if it got rushed to completion.