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Fluttershy and the Cactuses
Fluttershy had a problem. Yes, a minor problem. She was really craving for some cactuses. Why? Well, it's a long story, but to put in it short, Fluttershy was in the mood for some exotic juice. What better juice than that of a cactus? So Fluttershy set out on an adventure into the deserts of Equestria, searching far and wide for the very best cactuses in all the land.
After searching for a few days, she stumbled upon a convoy of carriages and ponies.
That's when her problem escalated.
"H-Hello?"
Two beady brown eyes focused on poor Fluttershy, whose hooves trembled infear of being judged excitement of possibly finding a source of information for her cactus hunt.
The owner of those eyes smiled. "Why hello, miss?"
"F-Fluttershy."
"I beg your pardon?"
Fluttershy looked away from the penetrating gaze of a stallion on a horse-drawn carriage and hid behind her mane. "F-Flutt—"
"Aye, Brazzer! What's the hold up?"
The brown-eyed behemoth of a stallion let out a mean sigh and turned to the voice behind his carriage. "P-Hub! Relax back there! I'm just talking to a fair mare here who wandered in our path!"
The voice took a moment with its reply saying, "Well move on then, mate! We got this funeral to attend to and I don't want the cactuses to become drier than this desert!"
Cactuses? "Alright!" Brazzer shouted, before turning to Fluttershy again with a smile. "Now where were we—"
"You have cactuses?!" Fluttershy exclaimed with sweat dripping down her cheeks.
The stallion, who was going to flirt with this mare, now jumped back in his seat, repulsed that this mare has an interest in cactuses. "Y-Yes," he began, stuttering all the while. "W-We have some in the back few carriages. It's for the death of—"
"Can I come too!?" Fluttershy said, smiling and squeeing inexcitement utter happiness.
"Uh… one second—Hey Brazzer!"
"Aye!?"
"Can this cheeky mare come to the funeral?"
"Is she ten out of ten, get ready for the swoogity!?"
"Yep, mate! She's even got a thing for the cactuses!"
"Oh… I like her already from the sounds of that! Send her back will ye?!"
Brazzer rolled his eyes and looked at Fluttershy. "Head on to the caboose, alright?"
All Fluttershy do was nod and hold her trembling fore hoof. Her hunt was over. She was finally going to suck on some delicious cactus juice and be happy about it.
Trotting merrily to the caboose, Fluttershy remembered a detail that was startling to her.
"We got a few cactuses in the back. It's for the death of…"
"We got this funeral to attend to…"
Since when does a funeral need cactuses?
The thought in her head sounded odd to her after all. Maybe it's what ponies do in the desert? Using cactuses as exotic plants to showcase a dead pony's coffin? Maybe even to make the grave site look more appealing?
Fluttershy shrugged and carried on to the caboose. There's no use in stopping herself from gaining access to some quality juice. If that meant she had to tail a funeral procession in the deserts of Equestria, then so be it.
Upon arrival of being at the end of the convoy, Fluttershy noticed the carriages construction. It had a white veil covering its entrance, and its wooden frame was different than the rest. It was much larger and more reinforced, with plywood layered to ensure its safety. Its wheels were larger than the other ones she had passed, and they too looked much stronger than the others. Why was this the case for the last one? Was this carriage housing something she did not know of? Weapons, possibly?
She shook her head of the silly thought of them turning violent. There has to be another logical reason for…
"Hi."
…that.
"U-Um…"
Inside, an open coffin waited at Fluttershy's hooves.
"Um, what, Fluttershy?"
"How do y-you…"
"I am P-Hub, Fluttershy. I know you due to one of my users searching for 'Fluttersy bangs a—'"
"Please, don't say it… I know, I was featured on that place, but I don't need you to—"
"Congratulate you on your achievement? Fluttershy, no mare could have done what you did and Brazzer will surely miss not having you around."
"W-What?"
"This is what happens when bad mares meet the recycling bin."
Fluttershy, with her excitement at its highest peak, stood frozen as the coffin swallowed her whole.
After searching for a few days, she stumbled upon a convoy of carriages and ponies.
That's when her problem escalated.
"H-Hello?"
Two beady brown eyes focused on poor Fluttershy, whose hooves trembled in
The owner of those eyes smiled. "Why hello, miss?"
"F-Fluttershy."
"I beg your pardon?"
Fluttershy looked away from the penetrating gaze of a stallion on a horse-drawn carriage and hid behind her mane. "F-Flutt—"
"Aye, Brazzer! What's the hold up?"
The brown-eyed behemoth of a stallion let out a mean sigh and turned to the voice behind his carriage. "P-Hub! Relax back there! I'm just talking to a fair mare here who wandered in our path!"
The voice took a moment with its reply saying, "Well move on then, mate! We got this funeral to attend to and I don't want the cactuses to become drier than this desert!"
Cactuses? "Alright!" Brazzer shouted, before turning to Fluttershy again with a smile. "Now where were we—"
"You have cactuses?!" Fluttershy exclaimed with sweat dripping down her cheeks.
The stallion, who was going to flirt with this mare, now jumped back in his seat, repulsed that this mare has an interest in cactuses. "Y-Yes," he began, stuttering all the while. "W-We have some in the back few carriages. It's for the death of—"
"Can I come too!?" Fluttershy said, smiling and squeeing in
"Uh… one second—Hey Brazzer!"
"Aye!?"
"Can this cheeky mare come to the funeral?"
"Is she ten out of ten, get ready for the swoogity!?"
"Yep, mate! She's even got a thing for the cactuses!"
"Oh… I like her already from the sounds of that! Send her back will ye?!"
Brazzer rolled his eyes and looked at Fluttershy. "Head on to the caboose, alright?"
All Fluttershy do was nod and hold her trembling fore hoof. Her hunt was over. She was finally going to suck on some delicious cactus juice and be happy about it.
Trotting merrily to the caboose, Fluttershy remembered a detail that was startling to her.
"We got a few cactuses in the back. It's for the death of…"
"We got this funeral to attend to…"
Since when does a funeral need cactuses?
The thought in her head sounded odd to her after all. Maybe it's what ponies do in the desert? Using cactuses as exotic plants to showcase a dead pony's coffin? Maybe even to make the grave site look more appealing?
Fluttershy shrugged and carried on to the caboose. There's no use in stopping herself from gaining access to some quality juice. If that meant she had to tail a funeral procession in the deserts of Equestria, then so be it.
Upon arrival of being at the end of the convoy, Fluttershy noticed the carriages construction. It had a white veil covering its entrance, and its wooden frame was different than the rest. It was much larger and more reinforced, with plywood layered to ensure its safety. Its wheels were larger than the other ones she had passed, and they too looked much stronger than the others. Why was this the case for the last one? Was this carriage housing something she did not know of? Weapons, possibly?
She shook her head of the silly thought of them turning violent. There has to be another logical reason for…
"Hi."
…that.
"U-Um…"
Inside, an open coffin waited at Fluttershy's hooves.
"Um, what, Fluttershy?"
"How do y-you…"
"I am P-Hub, Fluttershy. I know you due to one of my users searching for 'Fluttersy bangs a—'"
"Please, don't say it… I know, I was featured on that place, but I don't need you to—"
"Congratulate you on your achievement? Fluttershy, no mare could have done what you did and Brazzer will surely miss not having you around."
"W-What?"
"This is what happens when bad mares meet the recycling bin."
Fluttershy, with her excitement at its highest peak, stood frozen as the coffin swallowed her whole.
What in the name of sanity did I just read? I understood all of the components up until the last few moments, but it comes together in something so bizarre, it feels like a cut scene from The King in Yellow. Just… just what?
This is the best story out of the first twelve I've read. I'm very impressed. Top score.
The story is incredible, but it needs to be reworked and proofed. Unfortunately, understanding it depends upon the reader having the insight to Google search the names of the ponies, so you might try to eke in another hint to lead the reader in that direction (I don't think you can assume they'll know, unless you're aiming for a limited audience (which in this case would be fully justifiable, similar to how the moral of Conker's Bad Fur Day is targeted specifically at those ponies who are willing to play through the entire game)).
I think you would have more success in communicating the message if you put in more hints about the theme of binging and purging. Maybe rumors about things happening in cycles, or something along those lines.
Don't ever tell the reader things like this, even in a highly abstract analogy like this one. Show us instead.
Also, I'd try to think up a cleverer title. Tartarus, you might even decide to be explicit and call it Binging and Purging. That would reveal the message to ponies without giving it away.
The story is incredible, but it needs to be reworked and proofed. Unfortunately, understanding it depends upon the reader having the insight to Google search the names of the ponies, so you might try to eke in another hint to lead the reader in that direction (I don't think you can assume they'll know, unless you're aiming for a limited audience (which in this case would be fully justifiable, similar to how the moral of Conker's Bad Fur Day is targeted specifically at those ponies who are willing to play through the entire game)).
I think you would have more success in communicating the message if you put in more hints about the theme of binging and purging. Maybe rumors about things happening in cycles, or something along those lines.
who was going to flirt with this mare
Don't ever tell the reader things like this, even in a highly abstract analogy like this one. Show us instead.
Also, I'd try to think up a cleverer title. Tartarus, you might even decide to be explicit and call it Binging and Purging. That would reveal the message to ponies without giving it away.
>>FanOfMostEverything
It's an allegory about arousal, shame, and the binging/purging behavior of those ashamed to collect pornography. The juice stands for sexual desire, and the coffin is the computer's recycle bin.
...and it's an amazing story.
It's an allegory about arousal, shame, and the binging/purging behavior of those ashamed to collect pornography. The juice stands for sexual desire, and the coffin is the computer's recycle bin.
...and it's an amazing story.
...what?
I have literally no idea what just happened.
I'm going to abstain on the basis that I strongly suspect this is a case of me not understanding, rather than the work lacking merit.
I have literally no idea what just happened.
I'm going to abstain on the basis that I strongly suspect this is a case of me not understanding, rather than the work lacking merit.
Pros:
Starts off interestingly weird.
Cons:
Quickly becomes just weird, and then takes a strong turn to the incomprehensible towards the end.
Suggestions:
...I've got nothing. I have to accept that Trick_Question's analysis is probably correct, because I can't think of any other reason why these ponies would be named after porn sites, but I still don't see half of the things she apparently does, so it just looks like a load of nonsense to me.
Also:
* No one understands this story, except for Trick_Question, who gives a rather detailed explanation.
* This story is about sex and porn.
* Trick_Question loves this story, but I didn't like it.
I will be shocked if Trick_Question did not write this one.
Starts off interestingly weird.
Cons:
Quickly becomes just weird, and then takes a strong turn to the incomprehensible towards the end.
Suggestions:
...I've got nothing. I have to accept that Trick_Question's analysis is probably correct, because I can't think of any other reason why these ponies would be named after porn sites, but I still don't see half of the things she apparently does, so it just looks like a load of nonsense to me.
Also:
* No one understands this story, except for Trick_Question, who gives a rather detailed explanation.
* This story is about sex and porn.
* Trick_Question loves this story, but I didn't like it.
I will be shocked if Trick_Question did not write this one.
>>The_Letter_J
You'll be shocked. This fic remains at the top of my slate, and as much as I love it, it's not one of mine. I actually didn't consider this might seem like a TQ fic until reading your review. I've never attempted to write anything remotely this figurative before. It's just too hard to pull off properly, as evidenced by the fact that few readers are picking up on what I was able to see (and I was only able to see it because it spoke to me).
I'm tempted to try something like this in a future contest, to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I haven't the slightest clue who wrote it, though, so given the quality of writing is above a certain threshold it's a CiG vote for me. I was tempted to TD it, but I've never seen him do something this abstract either (apart from comedy).
I will be shocked if Trick_Question did not write this one.
You'll be shocked. This fic remains at the top of my slate, and as much as I love it, it's not one of mine. I actually didn't consider this might seem like a TQ fic until reading your review. I've never attempted to write anything remotely this figurative before. It's just too hard to pull off properly, as evidenced by the fact that few readers are picking up on what I was able to see (and I was only able to see it because it spoke to me).
I'm tempted to try something like this in a future contest, to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I haven't the slightest clue who wrote it, though, so given the quality of writing is above a certain threshold it's a CiG vote for me. I was tempted to TD it, but I've never seen him do something this abstract either (apart from comedy).
>>Trick_Question
Ok, thank you. I may still have enough of an impedance mismatch here to keep this as an abstention, but that makes it make more sense.
I can't get my phone to display spoiler text so I was flying blind earlier.
Ok, thank you. I may still have enough of an impedance mismatch here to keep this as an abstention, but that makes it make more sense.
I can't get my phone to display spoiler text so I was flying blind earlier.
>>Trick_Question
I admit that this story doesn't seem quite like your usual writing (as far as I can recall, at least), but there's still some strong evidence pointing to you as the author. I was thinking that this was probably the last story you wrote, and by that point you were either running out of time or energy, so it ended up coming out not quite like your usual fare.
I admit that this story doesn't seem quite like your usual writing (as far as I can recall, at least), but there's still some strong evidence pointing to you as the author. I was thinking that this was probably the last story you wrote, and by that point you were either running out of time or energy, so it ended up coming out not quite like your usual fare.
Alright, let's try this new commenting system out... As per my wont in MF rounds, I won't be devoting a whole lot of energy or words to reviewing these.
This story gets a 'meh' from me. Trick suggests that there's some deeper meaning here, and she might be right? But if so, it's too subtle for me to catch/care much about. I'm just not seeing a whole lot that's compelling or engaging here. i guess. The innuendo is strong. The theme and plot seems... limp.
This story gets a 'meh' from me. Trick suggests that there's some deeper meaning here, and she might be right? But if so, it's too subtle for me to catch/care much about. I'm just not seeing a whole lot that's compelling or engaging here. i guess. The innuendo is strong. The theme and plot seems... limp.
This sounds like the medieval half-backed lewd libels monks were used to write for fun. Not unlike Le Roman de Renard.
However the end turning meta ruined it for me. And the title lacks flair. I think it would've been yet funnier if written as a ballad/song.
A good attempt, but I prefer Mansions in that style.
Oh, and besides, this story doesn't make sense: everyone knows all the Mane 6 are lesbians.
However the end turning meta ruined it for me. And the title lacks flair. I think it would've been yet funnier if written as a ballad/song.
A good attempt, but I prefer Mansions in that style.
Oh, and besides, this story doesn't make sense: everyone knows all the Mane 6 are lesbians.
>>Trick_Question
Not mine, I'm afraid. It's an interesting story, and ambitious. If it's on my slate it'll probably get a decent score simply on those counts, but I'm not sure I would consider it 'great' just yet.
We'll see how it stacks up against the competition.
Edit: It is on my slate!
Not mine, I'm afraid. It's an interesting story, and ambitious. If it's on my slate it'll probably get a decent score simply on those counts, but I'm not sure I would consider it 'great' just yet.
We'll see how it stacks up against the competition.
Edit: It is on my slate!
I feel a little chastened to still be in the "wat" camp when >>Trick_Question clearly sees a whole lot going on, but even knowing why it's surrealistically weird, it's still just weird. The ponies are websites, but they're also ponies who can talk and pull carts? The coffin is a recycling bin? I almost don't want it to have a point, so that it could just be dream logic.
This reminds me a lot of "Fluttershy Goes to Narnia" in its tone, but I liked that and couldn't get into this. If I could articulate exactly why I feel like it would help you a lot, anonymous author, but I'm afraid I'm not sure. Lines like "She was really craving for some cactuses. Why? Well, it's a long story, but to put in it short, Fluttershy was in the mood for some exotic juice." -- clunky, perhaps deliberately -- and all the strike-through jokes seemed to be pointing in that trollish direction, but that sentence-level stuff doesn't seem to jive with the overall story very well.
So yeah. Watmode. Sorry about you died, Fluttershy.
This reminds me a lot of "Fluttershy Goes to Narnia" in its tone, but I liked that and couldn't get into this. If I could articulate exactly why I feel like it would help you a lot, anonymous author, but I'm afraid I'm not sure. Lines like "She was really craving for some cactuses. Why? Well, it's a long story, but to put in it short, Fluttershy was in the mood for some exotic juice." -- clunky, perhaps deliberately -- and all the strike-through jokes seemed to be pointing in that trollish direction, but that sentence-level stuff doesn't seem to jive with the overall story very well.
So yeah. Watmode. Sorry about you died, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy lusts for cactuses, gets on a train run by porn sites, and then gets the “Fluttershy fucks a cactus.avi” file thrown in the recycle bin.
In a word: meh. This story tried to be too clever by half, and while I guessed at the Fluttershy and cactus thing, I never would have known what the ponies’ names meant without Trick Question’s post. Frankly, though, this story is one of those stories that people call “artsy” correctly – it is trying to be all symbolic, but in the end, doesn’t really say much of value, and nowhere near directly enough to actually impact anyone who isn’t already intimately familiar with the subject matter anyway.
In a word: meh. This story tried to be too clever by half, and while I guessed at the Fluttershy and cactus thing, I never would have known what the ponies’ names meant without Trick Question’s post. Frankly, though, this story is one of those stories that people call “artsy” correctly – it is trying to be all symbolic, but in the end, doesn’t really say much of value, and nowhere near directly enough to actually impact anyone who isn’t already intimately familiar with the subject matter anyway.
>>TitaniumDragon
I had to search for "P-Hub". Once I found that, I deduced what Brazzer meant (but only because of the Brazzers meme). I don't watch a lot of human porn.
I had to search for "P-Hub". Once I found that, I deduced what Brazzer meant (but only because of the Brazzers meme). I don't watch a lot of human porn.
Well... >>Trick_Question has a pretty good grasp of this story, and I really like the analysis. I'm kind of using TQ's analysis as a spring board along with some other context clues that I have gathered from the story to understand it. Here's some additional tidbits I've gotten so far (out of order):
1. "I am P-Hub, Fluttershy. I know you due to one of my users searching for 'Fluttersy bangs a—'"
This sounds like Fluttershy is a pornstar. Could it possibly be that she did something more than one video?
Also, nice misspelling, author.
1.5. "Brazzer will surely miss not having you around."
But they just met, didn't they? Does mean that there's another story related to this that we don't know about? Or am I looking too deep into that point?
2. The word usage when in Fluttershy's view denotes something else... I am getting this jive that trembles, frozen, and startling have something to with that video section or maybe even with the OCs.
Man, there's so much complexity to this that I'm not sure where to put it on this slate of mine. And I'd hate to abstain it because I'm a conflicted horseword puncher. Definitely a dynamic read, and just reading it once or twice still hasn't done it due diligence. Oh well. I think this could benefit with a nice expansion and proofing, but other than that, I have nothing more to offer.
Now where should I put this on my slate...?
In addition, I hate to disagree with you TD but...
>>TitaniumDragon
"Frankly, though, this story is one of those stories that people call “artsy” correctly – it is trying to be all symbolic, but in the end, doesn’t really say much of value..."
It sounds like you're looking at this in a concrete manner. I think the reason why TQ and I are able to understand this somewhat is because we're looking at it in a more abstract way. There's probably value in the story if you look at it in a certain way, but yet again, I don't have any right to tell you how to view a story. If you got nothing of value from it, then you got nothing of value. But I don't think you should dismiss a story for it being creative or "artsy" as you claim creativity to be; sounds rude.
"nowhere near directly enough to actually impact anyone who isn’t already intimately familiar with the subject matter anyway."
And what might the end result be? Because the spoiled section you gave didn't really explain it whatsoever. It sounded more like you were joking about it rather than actually giving us what it meant in terms of impact and symbolism.
Just saying.
1. "I am P-Hub, Fluttershy. I know you due to one of my users searching for 'Fluttersy bangs a—'"
This sounds like Fluttershy is a pornstar. Could it possibly be that she did something more than one video?
Also, nice misspelling, author.
1.5. "Brazzer will surely miss not having you around."
But they just met, didn't they? Does mean that there's another story related to this that we don't know about? Or am I looking too deep into that point?
2. The word usage when in Fluttershy's view denotes something else... I am getting this jive that trembles, frozen, and startling have something to with that video section or maybe even with the OCs.
Man, there's so much complexity to this that I'm not sure where to put it on this slate of mine. And I'd hate to abstain it because I'm a conflicted horseword puncher. Definitely a dynamic read, and just reading it once or twice still hasn't done it due diligence. Oh well. I think this could benefit with a nice expansion and proofing, but other than that, I have nothing more to offer.
Now where should I put this on my slate...?
In addition, I hate to disagree with you TD but...
>>TitaniumDragon
"Frankly, though, this story is one of those stories that people call “artsy” correctly – it is trying to be all symbolic, but in the end, doesn’t really say much of value..."
It sounds like you're looking at this in a concrete manner. I think the reason why TQ and I are able to understand this somewhat is because we're looking at it in a more abstract way. There's probably value in the story if you look at it in a certain way, but yet again, I don't have any right to tell you how to view a story. If you got nothing of value from it, then you got nothing of value. But I don't think you should dismiss a story for it being creative or "artsy" as you claim creativity to be; sounds rude.
"nowhere near directly enough to actually impact anyone who isn’t already intimately familiar with the subject matter anyway."
And what might the end result be? Because the spoiled section you gave didn't really explain it whatsoever. It sounded more like you were joking about it rather than actually giving us what it meant in terms of impact and symbolism.
Just saying.
Even after reading this entire comment thread, I don't understand what the story is trying to say, and I don't think that having it explained in further detail would significantly change my opinion of it.
Look, author: if you're going to draw in outside context such as porn websites, you are essentially writing a crossover, and as such I am going to score this under crossover rules. If you, say, write a Dragon Ball Z crossover and it makes no sense to the average reader unless they already know going in that Mr. Satan is widely thought to be Cell's killer, then it's your duty to provide enough context for a general audience to pick it up as they read, or else you're going to limit yourself to an audience of weebs. Apparently the cactus thing is an in-joke here (I'm not even aware of the existence of the video >>TitaniumDragon referenced), and as far as the allegory >>Trick_Question mentions, I'd have to do a lot more googling to understand how anorexia and these particular porn websites are related, and I have less than zero desire to wade through the underbelly of the internet to find out. So I am not in your target audience, and the story doesn't seem to make any effort to include me. All I can score it on is its prose quality and that audience disregard.
Tier: Misaimed
Look, author: if you're going to draw in outside context such as porn websites, you are essentially writing a crossover, and as such I am going to score this under crossover rules. If you, say, write a Dragon Ball Z crossover and it makes no sense to the average reader unless they already know going in that Mr. Satan is widely thought to be Cell's killer, then it's your duty to provide enough context for a general audience to pick it up as they read, or else you're going to limit yourself to an audience of weebs. Apparently the cactus thing is an in-joke here (I'm not even aware of the existence of the video >>TitaniumDragon referenced), and as far as the allegory >>Trick_Question mentions, I'd have to do a lot more googling to understand how anorexia and these particular porn websites are related, and I have less than zero desire to wade through the underbelly of the internet to find out. So I am not in your target audience, and the story doesn't seem to make any effort to include me. All I can score it on is its prose quality and that audience disregard.
Tier: Misaimed
>>horizon
I think you're confused. When I said binging/purging I wasn't talking about anorexia, but about another kind of addiction entirely that shares that cycle. I'm fairly confident this story has nothing to do with eating disorders. :derpytongue2:
Also, I'm pretty sure TD's video reference was meant tongue-in-cheek. :) This story is an allegory, not a reference to anything literal that you'd have to know about to get, like you're supposing.
I think you're confused. When I said binging/purging I wasn't talking about anorexia, but about another kind of addiction entirely that shares that cycle. I'm fairly confident this story has nothing to do with eating disorders. :derpytongue2:
Also, I'm pretty sure TD's video reference was meant tongue-in-cheek. :) This story is an allegory, not a reference to anything literal that you'd have to know about to get, like you're supposing.
Cactus juice. It's quenchy! Nothing's quenchier! It's the quenchiest!
After reading through the comments and getting a grasp on what it means...
Eh.
I mean the basic joke is that Fluttershy likes porn. A lot. But this joke has been done in the fandom many many times. This fic just dresses it up and attempts to give it deeper meaning, I guess. At the end of the day though, the punchline is still the same, giving this fic a lack of meat to its bones because... not much actually happens other than the joke.
After reading through the comments and getting a grasp on what it means...
Eh.
I mean the basic joke is that Fluttershy likes porn. A lot. But this joke has been done in the fandom many many times. This fic just dresses it up and attempts to give it deeper meaning, I guess. At the end of the day though, the punchline is still the same, giving this fic a lack of meat to its bones because... not much actually happens other than the joke.
>>JaketheGinger
No. :facehoof: This story contains no jokes and it has nothing to do with Fluttershy.
Ponies are going to be so surprised when they discover I didn't write this one. Hurry up and get here, Saturday! Whoever you are, mystery author, I got your back.
I mean the basic joke is that Fluttershy likes porn.
No. :facehoof: This story contains no jokes and it has nothing to do with Fluttershy.
Ponies are going to be so surprised when they discover I didn't write this one. Hurry up and get here, Saturday! Whoever you are, mystery author, I got your back.
>>Trick_Question
Actually, I just realized I could prove I didn't write it by writing a phony retrospective, posting it early, and notifying Roger. The fact it wouldn't get DQ'd would prove it wasn't mine. /)^3^(\
Actually, I just realized I could prove I didn't write it by writing a phony retrospective, posting it early, and notifying Roger. The fact it wouldn't get DQ'd would prove it wasn't mine. /)^3^(\
>>Trick_Question
Sorry, but no serious story should be allowed to blatantly name it's characters after porn sites.
The way I see it, this is a glorified trollfic. It's kind of like "Fibrous Ot Nuggets OF EMOTION" that way. On the most basic level, they're both trollfics that try to elevate themselves to something else. In Fibrous's case, it tries to do that with meta jokes, so its success and how most people will rank it will depend largely on how funny they think it is. This story tries to elevate itself by hiding some sort of allegory underneath the trollfic, so its success or failure is dependant on whether or not a reader can detect and decipher the allegory, and it seems like no one but you can.
Sorry, but no serious story should be allowed to blatantly name it's characters after porn sites.
The way I see it, this is a glorified trollfic. It's kind of like "Fibrous Ot Nuggets OF EMOTION" that way. On the most basic level, they're both trollfics that try to elevate themselves to something else. In Fibrous's case, it tries to do that with meta jokes, so its success and how most people will rank it will depend largely on how funny they think it is. This story tries to elevate itself by hiding some sort of allegory underneath the trollfic, so its success or failure is dependant on whether or not a reader can detect and decipher the allegory, and it seems like no one but you can.
>>The_Letter_J
Oddly enough, Ot takes the 0% position on my slate, whilst this one gets ranked second place. :V
Oddly enough, Ot takes the 0% position on my slate, whilst this one gets ranked second place. :V
>>Trick_Question
I would honestly be surprised if you put Ot anywhere else.
Meanwhile, this one is firmly on the bottom of my slate, while Ot is somewhere in the middle, where it makes a convenient border between the stories I didn't like and the stories I liked that actually good.
I would honestly be surprised if you put Ot anywhere else.
Meanwhile, this one is firmly on the bottom of my slate, while Ot is somewhere in the middle, where it makes a convenient border between the stories I didn't like and the stories I liked that actually good.
>>The_Letter_J
My aggravation with the Ot prompts and the other two words that shall not be named actually has little to do with how much I dislike that story. If it were interesting or funny, I'd have voted it high. I'm not turned off by meta-humor or bothered by simple references to Writeoff situations. I just don't think it was a good story.
My aggravation with the Ot prompts and the other two words that shall not be named actually has little to do with how much I dislike that story. If it were interesting or funny, I'd have voted it high. I'm not turned off by meta-humor or bothered by simple references to Writeoff situations. I just don't think it was a good story.
I'm Soaring's alias.
Oh, and Soaring wrote this.
There will be an expanded version of this story out on Fimfiction with detailed analysis by me when it comes out. But safe to say, no this isn't a trollfic.
It was just based off a second prompt that sounds troll-ish. :D
Oh, and Soaring wrote this.
There will be an expanded version of this story out on Fimfiction with detailed analysis by me when it comes out. But safe to say, no this isn't a trollfic.
It was just based off a second prompt that sounds troll-ish. :D