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I'm that one guy that types weird stories. :D
Ribbon
Original Short Story
35th
24%
65
The Storm Near The Eye
Ribbon
FiM Minific
56th
14%
11
Pyre
Ribbon
Original Minific
43rd
11%
7
Ocean Blue
Ribbon
Original Minific
47th
2%
0
War Friends Drink Victory 'Til They're Dead
FiM Minific
64th
2%
−52
Celestia's Fun-er-al
FiM Minific
65th
0%
−52
Mt. Saint Sparkle
#1694 · 1
· · >>CoffeeMinion
RIP the Ot prompt.

It sat out this round.
#157 ·
·
For the first time I actually wrote for a FiM event. Can't wait to see what people think of my work! =]

Oh and drat, less sleep. Oh well. Cheers.
#198 ·
· on Timely · >>Icenrose
Did this story just imply that Fluttershy's father thinks unicorns are slave owners to earth ponies?

Whoa. O_o

Few gripes. The *knock knock knock* bits are distracting since they aren't separated from the mane points of dialogue/exposition. Also, I think the beginning of this could've benefited with a slight expansion, considering it's trying to set Fluttershy's depression and I'm sitting here not feeling anything other than shock at her behavior. This definitely would be better if it was a short story around 4k-6k words.

Oh, and this line:

"'Fluttershy, I don’t ever want you to go anywhere!'"

Rainbow Dash really sounds controlling here. Yikes. I understand that Fluttershy is suicidal but that doesn't mean that she needs to be under house arrest.

Lastly, is this also implied that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are shipped at the end? Or is Fluttershy now Rarity and she says dear?

Hmm...

Needs Work.
#205 ·
· on Honor, Duty, and Sacrifice · >>RampantArcana
This is totally going on the top of my ballot. Why? The humor is not forced, the guards' reactions are perfect, Shining Armor reaction to finally geting the damn point as to why there was only one slice of cake was fantastic, and Princess Celestia will furiously without shame burn both their hindquarters for dropping the cake. Perfect execution and I love the writing style.

Top Contender because I'm a sucker for humor.
#209 ·
· on Clouds Like Mountains
I really like the message in this one. Live your life to the fullest, even if that means risking it all just to live something that no one else has. Plus, relying on a pissed off sibling to catch you in case you fall is not the best thing. If you get hit and almost die, I think they'll add to your injuries because you decided to go diving into danger without even thinking about it.

But damn, well done. Narrative was perfect, the characters are engaging. I do agree with >>FanOfMostEverything, though, there's something missing with the ending. I would love to see it expanded to see what happens to these two, if you don't mind.

Masterpiece.
#213 ·
· on Twas Just a Prank
Yet again, another humorous piece. Not forced at all, and indeed, it was just a prank bro. Highshoes has no chill.

Definitely a high placement on my ballot.

Masterpiece.
#216 ·
· on By Herself · >>wYvern
I'm not sure how this one relates to the prompt. I mean, other than Dash saying that it was not possible for Fluttershy to survive her mother's criticism of her living in Ponyville with earth ponies, there's no real attachment to the prompt. I could be wrong and there may be some different implied meaning with the ending or something, but I don't get it. Maybe I need an explanation or two for me to understand this better by the author.

Eh.

Needs Work/Abstain.
#714 ·
· on Fluttershy and the Cactuses · >>Trick_Question
Well... >>Trick_Question has a pretty good grasp of this story, and I really like the analysis. I'm kind of using TQ's analysis as a spring board along with some other context clues that I have gathered from the story to understand it. Here's some additional tidbits I've gotten so far (out of order):

1. "I am P-Hub, Fluttershy. I know you due to one of my users searching for 'Fluttersy bangs a—'"

This sounds like Fluttershy is a pornstar. Could it possibly be that she did something more than one video?

Also, nice misspelling, author.

1.5. "Brazzer will surely miss not having you around."

But they just met, didn't they? Does mean that there's another story related to this that we don't know about? Or am I looking too deep into that point?

2. The word usage when in Fluttershy's view denotes something else... I am getting this jive that trembles, frozen, and startling have something to with that video section or maybe even with the OCs.

Man, there's so much complexity to this that I'm not sure where to put it on this slate of mine. And I'd hate to abstain it because I'm a conflicted horseword puncher. Definitely a dynamic read, and just reading it once or twice still hasn't done it due diligence. Oh well. I think this could benefit with a nice expansion and proofing, but other than that, I have nothing more to offer.

Now where should I put this on my slate...?

In addition, I hate to disagree with you TD but...

>>TitaniumDragon

"Frankly, though, this story is one of those stories that people call “artsy” correctly – it is trying to be all symbolic, but in the end, doesn’t really say much of value..."

It sounds like you're looking at this in a concrete manner. I think the reason why TQ and I are able to understand this somewhat is because we're looking at it in a more abstract way. There's probably value in the story if you look at it in a certain way, but yet again, I don't have any right to tell you how to view a story. If you got nothing of value from it, then you got nothing of value. But I don't think you should dismiss a story for it being creative or "artsy" as you claim creativity to be; sounds rude.

"nowhere near directly enough to actually impact anyone who isn’t already intimately familiar with the subject matter anyway."

And what might the end result be? Because the spoiled section you gave didn't really explain it whatsoever. It sounded more like you were joking about it rather than actually giving us what it meant in terms of impact and symbolism.

Just saying.
#1003 ·
· on Pyre
Well, I will be expanding this one too, as a matter of fact. Just built an entire story revolving around the war. Hoping it goes well. I might have to watch an episode or two to make sure my facts aren't all wrong. :D

>>Morning Sun

Other than that? The whole motif of 'Spike went to war and died' feels tacked on to Equestria, as-is. I mean, this is the land of magical demigoddess ponies and Twilight & Friends, Blasters of Rainbows. If you are going to do a war out of the blue you need something to sell it, which isn't done here. That weighs down everything else. My suggestion? Swap 'war' for something like 'Monster Hunter' or some much more plausible Equestrian thing. If Spike was off serving as the equivalent of the Coast Guard or a Firefighter or whatever and died in an accident? That actually fits, but 'Died in misery after being stabbed a bunch'...not so much.


Just because it has rainbows, friendship and demi-goddesses doesn't meant it can't have violence in it.

Equestria isn't a violence-free utopia. Nor is it a utopia in the first place. Let's let that theory die in peace.
#1172 ·
·
Oh boy, here we go! Another Original Fic comp!