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True Ascension
“Congratulations Twilight,” echoed an all too familiar and soothing voice. “I knew you could do it,” Princess Celestia said as she materialized seemingly from nothing.
“Princess!” Twilight called out, trotting forward to embrace her mentor. “I-I don’t understand.”
“You did something today that has never been done before,” Celestia replied. “Something even a great unicorn like Starswirl was unable to do because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you’ve learned in Ponyville have taught you well.” Celestia’s smile only grew in size. “Now, you are ready.”
“Ready for what?” Twilight asked, turning to face her mentor.
Celestia led Twilight down a hall of starry light, images from her past playing everywhere. “It has been a wonder to watch you grow, from a simple filly to the great unicorn you are today,” Celestia said, her eyes full of pride. “All the things you’ve been through, all the ponies you have helped, and all lessons you have learned—all ways you have made me proud.”
Twilight looked on at her mentor with an awe in her eyes.
“It is time for a whole new life, and a new beginning,” Celestia said as she spread her wings, a light erupting from somewhere above. “It is time for you to fulfill your destiny.”
At the princess’ words, a small orb of purple energy rose out of Twilight’s chest, floating in place for a few seconds before splitting into multiple smaller forms and enveloping her in a blinding lavender light. It was unlike anything Twilight had ever felt before in her life.
When at last, the light faded, Twilight felt a new sensation, as well as unimaginable power. As she landed, all she could see was a bright white aura obscuring all except for Celestia.
“Congratulations Twilight. You are now one step closer towards true ascensions.”
Twilight almost missed those words. “True ascension?” she asked, unsure of what to make of her mentor’s words.
Celestia giggled. “Oh, forgive me, I should have been clearer,” she said, approaching her student with her ever nurturing twinkle still on her lips. “While you indeed took your first step into a greater world, there many things yet to learn before you are ready to join us among the stars.” Celestia motioned with her hooves at the uncountable number of lights above. “Many more journeys are to follow, and there is much left to experience. The world is not yet ready to end. ”
Twilight’s eyes widened at her mentor’s words. “Princess!” Twilight cried out, locking eyes with her mentor. “W-what do you mean? The world’s going to end?”
Celestia gently shook her head. “Not yet my child,” she replied in a soothing voice. “But like everything in this universe, it will eventually.”
Twilight wasn’t quite convinced with her mentor’s words. “Princess, what’s going on!?”
At this, Celestia sighed. Her smile lost some of its brightness as the princess’ eyes fell on her prized pupil. “What we perceive as reality may not always be the truth to things. There is much to the world,” she said, waving a hoof at all the still playing images in the void.
Twilight’s ears dropped. “A-are saying that… everything I know is a… l-lie?”
Celestia placed a hoof on her student’s chin. “Of course not, my dear student,” she cooed, her voice still as soothing as ever. “They are all you, and you exist. Therefore, nothing is fake!”
“Everything is… me?” Twilight repeated. “Everything is ME!” she repeated even louder.
Celestia nodded. “All things, living or otherwise, are you. You are Twilight Sparkle, yes. But you are also Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and even young Spike.” She embraced her student. “You were even Starswirl once. Everything that has lived and will live is you, and you are everything.”
“B-b-but… why?” was all she could ask.
“In time, you will know. In time, you will join my sister and me among the stars.” Celestia said, her voice and the starry void beginning to vanish.
“PRINCESS!!” Twilight shouted as her very being became enveloped in the light.
When Twilight next opened her eyes, she stood facing her closest friends. All happy to see her, all excited about her new life as an alicorn.
Her friends closed the gap and embraced her, and she too instinctively embraced them back. All the while, she wanted nothing more than to tell them the truth.
But she couldn’t bring herself to.
All she could do was keep the embrace going.
“Princess!” Twilight called out, trotting forward to embrace her mentor. “I-I don’t understand.”
“You did something today that has never been done before,” Celestia replied. “Something even a great unicorn like Starswirl was unable to do because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you’ve learned in Ponyville have taught you well.” Celestia’s smile only grew in size. “Now, you are ready.”
“Ready for what?” Twilight asked, turning to face her mentor.
Celestia led Twilight down a hall of starry light, images from her past playing everywhere. “It has been a wonder to watch you grow, from a simple filly to the great unicorn you are today,” Celestia said, her eyes full of pride. “All the things you’ve been through, all the ponies you have helped, and all lessons you have learned—all ways you have made me proud.”
Twilight looked on at her mentor with an awe in her eyes.
“It is time for a whole new life, and a new beginning,” Celestia said as she spread her wings, a light erupting from somewhere above. “It is time for you to fulfill your destiny.”
At the princess’ words, a small orb of purple energy rose out of Twilight’s chest, floating in place for a few seconds before splitting into multiple smaller forms and enveloping her in a blinding lavender light. It was unlike anything Twilight had ever felt before in her life.
When at last, the light faded, Twilight felt a new sensation, as well as unimaginable power. As she landed, all she could see was a bright white aura obscuring all except for Celestia.
“Congratulations Twilight. You are now one step closer towards true ascensions.”
Twilight almost missed those words. “True ascension?” she asked, unsure of what to make of her mentor’s words.
Celestia giggled. “Oh, forgive me, I should have been clearer,” she said, approaching her student with her ever nurturing twinkle still on her lips. “While you indeed took your first step into a greater world, there many things yet to learn before you are ready to join us among the stars.” Celestia motioned with her hooves at the uncountable number of lights above. “Many more journeys are to follow, and there is much left to experience. The world is not yet ready to end. ”
Twilight’s eyes widened at her mentor’s words. “Princess!” Twilight cried out, locking eyes with her mentor. “W-what do you mean? The world’s going to end?”
Celestia gently shook her head. “Not yet my child,” she replied in a soothing voice. “But like everything in this universe, it will eventually.”
Twilight wasn’t quite convinced with her mentor’s words. “Princess, what’s going on!?”
At this, Celestia sighed. Her smile lost some of its brightness as the princess’ eyes fell on her prized pupil. “What we perceive as reality may not always be the truth to things. There is much to the world,” she said, waving a hoof at all the still playing images in the void.
Twilight’s ears dropped. “A-are saying that… everything I know is a… l-lie?”
Celestia placed a hoof on her student’s chin. “Of course not, my dear student,” she cooed, her voice still as soothing as ever. “They are all you, and you exist. Therefore, nothing is fake!”
“Everything is… me?” Twilight repeated. “Everything is ME!” she repeated even louder.
Celestia nodded. “All things, living or otherwise, are you. You are Twilight Sparkle, yes. But you are also Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and even young Spike.” She embraced her student. “You were even Starswirl once. Everything that has lived and will live is you, and you are everything.”
“B-b-but… why?” was all she could ask.
“In time, you will know. In time, you will join my sister and me among the stars.” Celestia said, her voice and the starry void beginning to vanish.
“PRINCESS!!” Twilight shouted as her very being became enveloped in the light.
When Twilight next opened her eyes, she stood facing her closest friends. All happy to see her, all excited about her new life as an alicorn.
Her friends closed the gap and embraced her, and she too instinctively embraced them back. All the while, she wanted nothing more than to tell them the truth.
But she couldn’t bring herself to.
All she could do was keep the embrace going.
In before "All you zombies!" Or maybe just an older reference. Ouroboros, perhaps?
I like the literal/direct canon, with a 90 degree turn there in the middle, but it also feels a bit lazy, as so much is copy paste from an episode, and I'm not sure the twist given offers much more than a glimpse or an idea.
I like the literal/direct canon, with a 90 degree turn there in the middle, but it also feels a bit lazy, as so much is copy paste from an episode, and I'm not sure the twist given offers much more than a glimpse or an idea.
Hmm. I feel like this uses up a lot of words covering ground we already know at the beginning, then slaps the twist on very quickly and doesn't do much with it. It does remind me of The Egg also, but if that's where it's going, The Egg didn't just tell, it showed what was going on. This just has Celestia making a bald assertion, and nothing in particular backs it up. It also doesn't go anywhere in particular. I feel like Twilight should somehow experience that everything is her, or the story should end with skipping ahead to this true ascension, or something.
It has some promise, but in the end I think it's wasting the concept by not actually exploring it.
It has some promise, but in the end I think it's wasting the concept by not actually exploring it.
Some people will probably find this a readable 'here's a neat idea' story, but I'm not seeing much more than that. It doesn't even try to justify itself, or give us reasons why Celestia could be right.
Personally, I find the use of solipsism here somewhat... pointless. Bester's 'Disappearing Act' uses it to great effect, but it's often something that just drains my interest in a story. Maybe it's residual annoyance from 'Time Enough for Love'. I guess taking that out on you is unfair... unless you're actually Heinlein, right? :P
Personally, I find the use of solipsism here somewhat... pointless. Bester's 'Disappearing Act' uses it to great effect, but it's often something that just drains my interest in a story. Maybe it's residual annoyance from 'Time Enough for Love'. I guess taking that out on you is unfair... unless you're actually Heinlein, right? :P
Also as a comment on this story, it uses far too much real estate on the end of magical mystery cure, then drops an obscure metaphysical bomb on us near the end... which is apparently called solipsism in philosophical circles, but in a metaphysical sense, for those unaware, there's a concept where everyone is essentially part of a greater organism―in Judaism specifically, which I am intimately familiar with, the esoteric tradition holds that everything has a spark of the divine and we all came from the same metaphysical creature let's just say it gets super complicated okay?
But yeah it kind of drops this solipsistic/metaphysical bomb and... doesn't go anywhere with it. Like !Hat said, it introduces an idea without any real payoff, and from my experience a story needs a payoff, no matter how small the story.
I'll give you that it does end on a warm note, which is in line with what Twilight just learned.
But yeah it kind of drops this solipsistic/metaphysical bomb and... doesn't go anywhere with it. Like !Hat said, it introduces an idea without any real payoff, and from my experience a story needs a payoff, no matter how small the story.
I'll give you that it does end on a warm note, which is in line with what Twilight just learned.
I’ve seen in-show songs converted into conversations a few times in the past. It always feels surreal, especially when preceded by word-for-word show dialogue.
In any case, I’m going to have to echo the others. You spend too much space establishing the scene and not enough explaining just what you were trying to get across. Given further room to explain the idea, this could work. As is? Not so much.
In any case, I’m going to have to echo the others. You spend too much space establishing the scene and not enough explaining just what you were trying to get across. Given further room to explain the idea, this could work. As is? Not so much.
Genre: Episode recap with theoretical twist
Thoughts: I gather from the other comments that the metaphysics of this story largely went over my head. What I took from it instead was the impression that the prose was well-formed, with occasional exceptions during Twilight's moments of surprise. I'll applaud the overall quality of the prose, but I didn't see much to the plot beyond the recap. I may just not be in the target audience.
Tier: Misaimed
Thoughts: I gather from the other comments that the metaphysics of this story largely went over my head. What I took from it instead was the impression that the prose was well-formed, with occasional exceptions during Twilight's moments of surprise. I'll applaud the overall quality of the prose, but I didn't see much to the plot beyond the recap. I may just not be in the target audience.
Tier: Misaimed
Yeah, I kind of have to echo the above. The end kinda feels like a double non-sequitor, as the drama bomb is so ridiculous as to seem like it is supposed to be funny, but the story actually ends on hard drama.
Anyhow, long story short, cut 90% of the opening (you're writing for pony fans, we should generally recognize a major finale), and give a -little- explanation for what is actually going on here and how it impacts.
Anyhow, long story short, cut 90% of the opening (you're writing for pony fans, we should generally recognize a major finale), and give a -little- explanation for what is actually going on here and how it impacts.
I'm not sure if I'm the only one who felt this way....
this story had me believing this was going to be "one of those" crackfics or fixfics. you know, starts off with something familiar and unchanged, then makes a shocking turn into something cynical or random. it was a bit strange to find out that it was a philosophical message and not a punchline.
that seems to be what happens when you follow the episode so closely for the first part of your fic. when confronted with the same ol thing, the mind instinctively starts searching for differences. the audience expects the unexpected, that it'll become the polar opposite of canon MLP.
I recommend retelling the same material in a new style or new perspective, to set up a proper tone -- give that first impression that you're being respectful of the original while exploring your own interpretation.
this story had me believing this was going to be "one of those" crackfics or fixfics. you know, starts off with something familiar and unchanged, then makes a shocking turn into something cynical or random. it was a bit strange to find out that it was a philosophical message and not a punchline.
that seems to be what happens when you follow the episode so closely for the first part of your fic. when confronted with the same ol thing, the mind instinctively starts searching for differences. the audience expects the unexpected, that it'll become the polar opposite of canon MLP.
I recommend retelling the same material in a new style or new perspective, to set up a proper tone -- give that first impression that you're being respectful of the original while exploring your own interpretation.
Twilight Sparkle's Adventures During Third Impact?
I don't get it. I thought it was going for some kind of metacommentary on the nature of the MLP franchise, the constant cycle of shows and toy lines coming, going, and then being reborn in a different form. But then Celestia went off on a complete tangent with her "everything is you" spiel, and it made zero sense to me.
In short, the story starts out approaching established canon, veers left, then veers left again, and the end result is, well... Incomprehensible.
I don't get it. I thought it was going for some kind of metacommentary on the nature of the MLP franchise, the constant cycle of shows and toy lines coming, going, and then being reborn in a different form. But then Celestia went off on a complete tangent with her "everything is you" spiel, and it made zero sense to me.
In short, the story starts out approaching established canon, veers left, then veers left again, and the end result is, well... Incomprehensible.
>>Syeekoh
I am spiritually Heinlein. But which one?
I like this story’s metaphysical idea, but the ending feels too abrupt. Giving Twilight more time to absorb to the new information and react or reconcile herself to it would help.
I am spiritually Heinlein. But which one?
I like this story’s metaphysical idea, but the ending feels too abrupt. Giving Twilight more time to absorb to the new information and react or reconcile herself to it would help.
