I smell ponies. Yum.

There's a couple spots where I'm still not sure yet if I'm missing the meaning or it's just nonsense.

Not that I have anything against nonsense, mind you. One of my favorite compilations is Sense and Nonsense—the Complete Works of Edward Lear.

>>LoftyWithers yup, defo smells of ponies.
Maybe a frustrated and grieving Celestia immediately after the banishment?
I wonder why the fourth last line is not capitalised.

Not quite sure how the archer imagery fits into this narrative, though.

Song: Sun (duh).

"The sun burns muh skin," quoth Celestia the sun butt.

I guess this is about Nightmare Moon?

I like the way the title becomes part of the poem, and it's something I'm surprised more people don't try in minific rounds, since that can save you a little word count. It's kind of an old trick, but one that doesn't get used much.

There's a pretty good amount of narrative in here for the word count, but the precise numbers of "sun"s in there was pretty obviously governed by the need to hit the 50-word minimum, so it's a bit padded.

I'm honestly having trouble reading this with any interpretation other than one that involves ponies, so I think I'm just gonna have to go with that.

There's a lot of very evocative word choice here, which really gives the piece a sense of character. For me, I get tones of archaism, and myth from images and words like "Zenith", "nadir", and "archer". You do a great job of very compactly getting these ideas across. And I actually do like the desperate, almost crazed mood that the repetition of the word "sun" brings about.

Unfortunately, I do have trouble following with what's going on in a lot of the second half of the poem. I get the feeling that these aren't supposed to just be random words thrown together, but I'm a dumb-dumb and I can't really put combine them coherently. It's definitely very poignant in its mood, but the overarching meaning is lost to me, other than some imagery about the sun's motion int he sky, I think.

Overall, I do really like how emotional this piece felt to me, though I do wish it was a degree or two clearer in its content.

I'm getting nothing here:

I mean, if it's about Nightmare Moon, would she refer to "my abdication"? She was trying to force Celestia to abdicate, after all. I'd suggest making this about 120% crazier, to paraphrase the meme. Fill it with raving imagery of blood boiling across the sky and dark shards piercing swollen milky flesh. I mean, take this Nightmare Moon's level of madness and let it explode.

Mike

Genre: Daybreaker

I love the frantic nature of this poem. The tone is great and I love the descriptive words you have in there. Incorporating the title into the poem is cute, too. The words are nice and sharp. I feel like I might get stung when I look at them, yknow? I don’t really have anything else to add and agree with what all of the rest say. Overall a pretty good poem. It’ll go in my middle slate.

Best line: “Sun sun sun sun sun“

Unironic best line: “ Zenith nadir arc arrow bow”

This poem flows very well, and it's probably one of the most emotionally raw ones. I'd probably need the repetition explained to me though. Kind of sounds like someone going crazy, in which case, up the ante and really invest in that, but also make it clear what's going on.

I think this is the kind of poem that if I read out loud, I could probably interpret it a million ways, but maybe not as the author intended. There's some hidden cleverness, I think, which I'd be interested to find out about.