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Upon Reflection, I Have Several Regrets
I wanted to make
A picture for the Writeoff
I thought I'd have fun
And so I scribbled
I sketched, I drew, and I inked
Through the evening
When I was finished
I looked back and remembered
I cannot draw well
So I gave that up
And came here to write instead
And I've gone meta
How hard can it be
To just write a few haiku?
I'll have this done soon
Low effort entries
And meta references
Always turn out well
Be glad it's not worse
I had other ideas
I could have done like:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who at Writeoff thought he had struck it
When he saw what he drew
He knew what to do
He tossed up his hands and said "Fuck it"
A picture for the Writeoff
I thought I'd have fun
And so I scribbled
I sketched, I drew, and I inked
Through the evening
When I was finished
I looked back and remembered
I cannot draw well
So I gave that up
And came here to write instead
And I've gone meta
How hard can it be
To just write a few haiku?
I'll have this done soon
Low effort entries
And meta references
Always turn out well
Be glad it's not worse
I had other ideas
I could have done like:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who at Writeoff thought he had struck it
When he saw what he drew
He knew what to do
He tossed up his hands and said "Fuck it"
I'm posting a short review on this one because the longer one was deemed to take up too much memory, and I would probably get sued by the government or something. Alas, I cannot regale you with enough glowing praise to fit 3 Jupiter's worth of Bibles.
Too long; didn't read
Twenty out of ten shitpost
So: instant top slate
Too long; didn't read
Twenty out of ten shitpost
So: instant top slate
People always play fast and loose with the rhythm of limericks, so I'm not going to get bent out of shape here. People also like to correct others about what haiku are, relative to similar forms of poetry, and I'm not knowledgeable enough to say whether these are actually haiku, beyond having the correct syllable pattern. I do think haiku are usually self-contained, rather than having a continuity, but I don't know for sure.
This was amusing enough as an exercise in blowing off steam, and it's nicely about the write-off itself. It'll be interesting to see if this poet contributes art as well. It might even add some after-the-fact meaning. I wish I had more useful things to say, but it's just there to make the joke, and it's not something anyone's going to be looking to tune up later.
This was amusing enough as an exercise in blowing off steam, and it's nicely about the write-off itself. It'll be interesting to see if this poet contributes art as well. It might even add some after-the-fact meaning. I wish I had more useful things to say, but it's just there to make the joke, and it's not something anyone's going to be looking to tune up later.
Again:
I'd like more pomposity before the anti-climax. Since they're haiku, bring in the forces of nature and get all grandiose on the idea of writers' block before giving us the limerick. It's poetry--go nuts with it!
Mike
I'd like more pomposity before the anti-climax. Since they're haiku, bring in the forces of nature and get all grandiose on the idea of writers' block before giving us the limerick. It's poetry--go nuts with it!
Mike
Okay, I need to make a note real quick.
We have been blessed by RNGesus!
Allow me to explain: the previous two entries in the gallery were, in order, a poem using haikus for stanzas and a poem using limericks for stanzas. Immediately following those two, we get this, which is a poem that uses haikus and a limerick for stanzas. This is clearly a case of the Gallery page trying to tell us that 1+1=2.
Okay, actual review, now.
I think I'll have to kind of reiterate what I said about The Rediscovery of Man in that I would have liked to see the haikus be a little more self-contained? They way they are right now, it does feel a little like you're devoting a lot of stanzas and words to conveying an idea that would take half the wordcount to say in regular prose.
As for your limerick, there's some beat issues in your second and fourth lines. For instance, I would maybe suggest adding a stressed "just" between "knew" and "what", to maintain the two unstressed syllables for every stressed syllable pattern.
Overall, well, I'm going to have to be honest and say that I personally don't really like meta entries. I know this is kind of meta-meta, in that you're playing it deliberately for laughs. But, I dunno, I guess this is just not my cup of tea. Still, this definitely does has its charm.
Thank you for submitting!
We have been blessed by RNGesus!
Allow me to explain: the previous two entries in the gallery were, in order, a poem using haikus for stanzas and a poem using limericks for stanzas. Immediately following those two, we get this, which is a poem that uses haikus and a limerick for stanzas. This is clearly a case of the Gallery page trying to tell us that 1+1=2.
Okay, actual review, now.
I think I'll have to kind of reiterate what I said about The Rediscovery of Man in that I would have liked to see the haikus be a little more self-contained? They way they are right now, it does feel a little like you're devoting a lot of stanzas and words to conveying an idea that would take half the wordcount to say in regular prose.
As for your limerick, there's some beat issues in your second and fourth lines. For instance, I would maybe suggest adding a stressed "just" between "knew" and "what", to maintain the two unstressed syllables for every stressed syllable pattern.
Overall, well, I'm going to have to be honest and say that I personally don't really like meta entries. I know this is kind of meta-meta, in that you're playing it deliberately for laughs. But, I dunno, I guess this is just not my cup of tea. Still, this definitely does has its charm.
Thank you for submitting!
There once was a poem I spied
Banality, failed to hide
Its off'ring was meta,
That didn't get bettah,
But what can I say? Least you tried.
Banality, failed to hide
Its off'ring was meta,
That didn't get bettah,
But what can I say? Least you tried.
>>_Moonshot
>>Pascoite
>>Baal Bunny
>>Bachiavellian
>>Trick_Question
>>LoftyWithers
Well, I can't say I'm surprised that this got last place. In my defense, I had originally thought this round started a few days later than it did, so I ended up only having about an hour to put this together.
And yes, this was very autobiographical.
>>Pascoite
>>Baal Bunny
>>Bachiavellian
>>Trick_Question
>>LoftyWithers
Well, I can't say I'm surprised that this got last place. In my defense, I had originally thought this round started a few days later than it did, so I ended up only having about an hour to put this together.
And yes, this was very autobiographical.
>>The_Letter_J
I'm surprised this got last place!
I took a look at my meme and then took a look at your meme and went like "Wow yours is so much funnier people are definitely gonna place yours above mine"
And then PEOPLE went and committed THIS TRAVESTY instead
UNACCEPTABLE
I'm surprised this got last place!
I took a look at my meme and then took a look at your meme and went like "Wow yours is so much funnier people are definitely gonna place yours above mine"
And then PEOPLE went and committed THIS TRAVESTY instead
UNACCEPTABLE
>>_Moonshot
I thought pretty much the same thing about yours. In fact, I ranked yours second on my slate, right after the one that we all gave first place to.
I don't even think that this was bad, necessarily, but I knew going into it that people around here tend not to care much for meta jokes, and even I didn't think this one was all that funny. I think about all this has going for it is the surprise limerick at the end. And when I read all the other entries and saw how good they all were, I knew I was going to end up very near the bottom.
And remember, I did predict that this would happen:
>>Trick_Question
Thanks! That really is all I was ever aiming for.
I thought pretty much the same thing about yours. In fact, I ranked yours second on my slate, right after the one that we all gave first place to.
I don't even think that this was bad, necessarily, but I knew going into it that people around here tend not to care much for meta jokes, and even I didn't think this one was all that funny. I think about all this has going for it is the surprise limerick at the end. And when I read all the other entries and saw how good they all were, I knew I was going to end up very near the bottom.
And remember, I did predict that this would happen:
Low effort entries
And meta references
Always turn out well
>>Trick_Question
Thanks! That really is all I was ever aiming for.