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Uncanny Valley · Original Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
#1 · 3
· · >>Not_A_Hat
Welcome to the WriteOff. Please do remember to not push it. We're in it to have fun!

(I wonder how fast it will take for this to get deleted.)
#2 · 10
·
Once upon a time, it was nearly four o'clock.

A little boy quickly logged on to the Discord chat where a discussion was taking place. He had missed the beginning, thanks to the school, but if they were as prompt as he had heard, he hadn’t probably missed much.

It was his first participation in a Writeoff round, and even though his entry hadn’t passed the prelim, he had fun, and he was eager to listen to what these podcasters had to say on the other entries. So he wasted no time and hopped onto the vocal chat.

“Let’s move on to the next story, The Earth Is Blue Like An Orange,” sighed a voice. The green indicator told the little boy it was Definitely_A_Sock.

“This is brilliant,” answered a second voice, belonging to Fentastic Mass.

“This is okay,” said a third voice, belonging to Featherpen Caress.

“This is shit,” added the first voice.

There was a moment of silence.

“Shit?”, asked Fentastic Mass. “How dare you call this story shit? It has a really, really beautiful metaphor! I mean, hmm, even the title points towards the interpretation I got and that everyone should have.” He clicked his tongue and the boy winced. It was his fourth tongue clicking in three sentences. “I mean, think about the fruit. It is round, like the Earth, and the character in the story tries to put — to set — his life, hum, on the right path. But life runs in circles, so, hum, the character is more or less doomed to struggle against life itself, in a way. That’s very Nietzschean.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” replied Definitely_A_Sock. “I see where you’re going but I don’t think it is emphasized enough by the story, though it seems a bit far fetched. I’m afraid to say this story didn’t do really much for me. The stakes are too vague, and I spent half of the story wondering where the character was.”

“I’m sorry to be this guy,” said Featherpen Caress. “But I completely disagree with your interpretation. While I’m still not sure about what the story means, I’ve been really caught by the beautiful prose. Moreover, we had a complete arc, and that must be handed to the story. It’s just a shame the resolution isn’t that clear.”

“It isn’t clear for both of you because you wouldn’t recognise a metaphor even if it would slap you in the face,” said Fentastic Mass.

“Oh I’m sure I can recognise a metaphor, only if it isn’t made obscure to excuse a poor writing,” retorted Definitely_A_Sock. “Sounding like a smartass doesn’t make you a smartass.”

“You’re just uncultured Philistines,” snapped Fentastic Mass.

“And you’re just a stuck up intellectual,” replied Definitely_A_Sock.

“I just wanna add that this story has the most beautiful use of the word ‘canoodle’ and —”

“Shut up, Featherpen,” said the other two.

The little boy muted the sound and started typing.

Are they always like this?

Yes, replied BackSix. Though it’s just the warm-up. Wait for a minute, it only gets better :)

True, added Revolving Teapot. They still believe we come for what they had to say but we’re here for the show :p

That was it. The little boy closed Discord and went back to the website. He still had stories to read and to review, and doing that would be a better use of his time than this. It was what mattered after all, wasn’t it?
Post by Waterpear , deleted
#4 · 7
·
Yet another TBD prompt?
Don’t you feel one is enough? This joke is becoming tired fast…
:P
#5 ·
· · >>Kritten
>>Kritten
Hrm. How'd you manage that?

EDIT: Herp derp read the times wrong thought you'd posted after Fenton somehow. :P Forgive me, it was early.
#6 ·
·
>>Not_A_Hat
I saw the email in my inbox. That's it. No trickery involved.
#7 · 3
· · >>Southpaw >>Trick_Question
Come on, guys. If Ot wins, it's off the table forever after.

Ot: it's not just the prompt we need, but the prompt we deserve.


:-p
#8 · 2
·
>>CoffeeMinion It's certainly the prompt we'll deserve if it wins. I'm just wondering when jr high school is going back in session so we don't have to see it anymore.

~CrabbyPants McSouthpaw
#9 · 1
· · >>Not_A_Hat >>CoffeeMinion
I'm confused:

How can the art and the writing parts start at the same time? Aren't the stories supposed to be based on the artwork?

Mike
#10 ·
· · >>CoffeeMinion >>Baal Bunny
>>Baal Bunny
I think Roger has decided to run them as separate contests for a bit and see how that works.
#11 ·
· · >>Baal Bunny
>>Baal Bunny
>>Not_A_Hat
Indeed, I think the deal is that sometimes the art will prompt the writing, sometimes the writing will prompt the art, and sometimes the two will be independent. On a rotating schedule or some such.
#12 · 3
·
Alright, fillies. Let's do this!
#13 · 2
·
Seems like you're gonna enter the writeoff pretty soon. Here's some friendly advice. If you keep going the way you are now...

...

You're gonna have a bad time.
#14 · 8
· · >>CoffeeMinion >>georg >>Baal Bunny
For the people that missed the Discord discussion and Fimfiction thread:

— Some people want fewer pic rounds, don't like having to use pics as prompts
— Some people want more pic rounds
— Having more frequent pic rounds will help create a community of regular pic entrants
— Possible to experiment with different pic round formats
⸺ Concurrent pic rounds, where the fics and pics are independent but to the same prompt
⸺ fic -> pic rounds, where pics are drawn to fics
⸻ Problem: reading fics takes a while, eating into drawing time
⸻ Solution: allot more time for this format

Current plan

— Try out concurrent pic round for next event
— Use the following cycle:
⸺ Minific rounds have concurrent pic rounds
⸺ Short story rounds cycle between concurrent, fic -> pic, and pic -> fic
⸺ This means 1/3 of short story rounds suck for ppl that don't like pic -> fic

Other suggestions

— Make pic -> fic limit the pic prompts to the top 3, or finalist
⸺ This makes it so everyone has the same prompt
⸺ Doesn't really seem to address the main concern ppl have with pic -> fic
— Run totally independent pic events, doing occasional crossover rounds (fic -> pic or pic -> fic)
⸺ Would reduce confusion somewhat
⸺ Possibly makes the two communities too separate
⸺ More work for me




I haven't updated the code so this actually works right, so e.g., the rules page is currently incorrect (regarding fics being based on pics). I'm working on this now.

This round is an experiment on running concurrent contests. We'll do a fic2pic experiment sometime later.
#15 · 2
·
>>RogerDodger
Just curious, does that mean the next Pony round will be concurrent also, or fic -> pic? (Or pic -> fic)

BTW, thank you for giving us this great place to write stuff and get feedback. <3
#16 · 1
·
>>RogerDodger So fic pic tricks ticked off some sick... Naaa, not going to do it.
#17 ·
·
>>Not_A_Hat
>>CoffeeMinion
>>RogerDodger

Thanks, folks!

Mike
#18 · 3
·
The temptation to submit "TBD" yet again was insufficient to move my hoof...

...barely.

As for voting stupidly, however...




Yes, I know I owe you all a rant as I mentioned in the previous contest and on the chat. It will appear soon. I'm currently really, really apple-bucking busy with stuff because my work starts a week earlier than I thought it would. Derp.
#19 · 3
·
Hooray!

I had a story idea come to me while riding the train out to the airport after Bronycon, and I was really really hoping the prompt would end up working with it.

Mike
#20 · 8
·
The good news is that I had an amazing idea leap immediately to mind upon seeing the prompt.

The bad news is that it's irrevocably pony and wouldn't work by filing the serial numbers off.

Back to the drawing board! :P
#21 · 2
· · >>eusocialdragon
So quiet.

Everyone busy writing?
#22 · 1
·
>>AndrewRogue
Maybe.

I'm in the middle of trying to beat an idea into shape. I think it's good, it's just a matter of structure and details; hopefully I'll be able to get it finished and submitted.

In the meantime, good luck to everybody else!
#23 · 1
·
Have a skeletal idea, but am traveling all weekend to see family / friends / eclipse. No idea where I'll find the time to write.
#24 · 1
· · >>eusocialdragon >>CoffeeMinion
I have a nice story that would have a good chance to medal, but no message behind it so no motivation to put it down on key. Unless that changes, I'll see y'all next round.
#25 ·
·
>>Trick_Question
Interesting. I've got the opposite problem; I have a good message, but I'm struggling to marry it to a plot that wouldn't put people to sleep. Otherwise, I'm in the same position; I may or may not wind up with an entry this round.

In any case, good luck to you and to everyone else here!
#26 ·
· · >>Trick_Question >>Trick_Question
>>Trick_Question
You tease. :trollestia:

Naw, I don't generally do general original rounds, and Ot didn't win, so I'm out. (I will seriously do Ot when/if it ever wins.)
#27 ·
·
I have a bunch of ideas, but none of them are really grabbing me.

Going to have to think about this.
#28 · 2
·
>>CoffeeMinion
Don't do Ot, CoffeeMOnOon! You have so much to lOve for!
#29 · 6
· · >>Baal Bunny >>Trick_Question
Okay okay. I've got it.

A story about a magical valley that's enchanted so that food brought into it in cans will be spontaneously removed from those cans.

It's an Un-can'y Valley. Get it?
#30 · 2
·
>>GaPJaxie

And the hero:

Is trying to run a grocery store in said valley! Conflict galore!

Mike
#31 · 3
· · >>AndrewRogue
Aw heck. I'd more or less come up with an idea I could make work, albeit one I wasn't super enthusiastic about. And then I made the mistake of watching the episode, and I really really want to write some Embrax and post it right away while the episode iron is hot. But I can't work on both that and a Writeoff fic.

Should I suck it up and write something for the competition, or go with my heart?
#32 · 4
·
>>horizon

Go with your heart.

I want a shot at gold this round.
#33 · 2
·
"She's just what you wanted, Master Scrooge." Ducksworth gestured the young duck forward and waited until she reached the table. She was an experienced type, with a spiffy red vest and a look of intense concentration, who bobbed her head in an abbreviated bow once she reached Duckworth's side. "Three time winner of the Duckburg Auto Ralley, degrees in child psychology and early education, and a string of glowing references from the agency."

"What makes you think--" started Scrooge McDuck before a perplexed expression swept over his beak. "Mister Ducksworth, in all of the activity last week when you were getting ready to retire, did you at any time forget to plug in your hearing aid?"

The butler paused, then nodded. "Regrettably yes, sir. How did you know?"

Scrooge pinched the bridge of his beak. "Because I told you I was looking for an uncanny valley, not a nanny valet."

(I,ɯ soɹɹʎ˙ Mǝll' uoʇ ɹǝɐllʎ.)
#34 ·
·
Sorry to say it, but I'll have to bow out this round; I wasn't able to get my idea into something I liked, and I figured it would be preferable not to enter something than to put forward something I'm not happy with.

Again, good luck to everyone else this round!
#35 ·
·
>>GaPJaxie
Thank Luna this isn't a Minific round.
#36 · 5
·
Aaaaannnnndddd done. Always feel happy entering in one of these, even if I've never placed very high :-)
#37 · 1
· · >>CoffeeMinion
>>CoffeeMinion
No, teasing would be if I told you the story would have been called "Simulacra" and would have started with the following exchange:

"I hate ambiguity," said Benedict.

"I see," said the counselor.

Benedict shook his head and sighed. "No. I don't think you do."

The counselor narrowed her eyes and bit down on the edge of her stylus. "Then please, continue," she said. "As this is our first meeting, all I really have to go by are the notes from your previous therapists."

The young man cleared his throat. "By definition, that which is ambiguous is imprecise. Impossible to pin down. Open to change first one way, then the other. Ambiguity forms a lynchpin for unfair treatment in any society which stands by the rule of law."

"That's an intelligent and well thought-out response, Benedict. It sounds like you prefer to know where you stand with others," said the counselor. "This isn't an uncommon feeling. Many people are uncomfortable with a lack of certainty—"

"I didn't say uncertainty made me uncomfortable, Ms. Enigma. I said ambiguity is something I hate," Benedict explained, squeezing his left fist and tapping the couch cushion with a light but firm 'bap'.

Ms. Enigma nodded, and nervously lowered her eyes to her writepad.

History of frequent fights with other students in high school. Detention almost daily from in-class disruptions. No cases of physically violent behavior with authority figures. No violations of the law outside of interpersonal conflicts, not even a parking violation. No friendships outside of family members. Estranged from family, lives alone. Unemployed, under managed care. Rarely speaks to other human beings except when required. Previous therapy reveals no schizoaffective behavior, but subject never cries or reports feeling sad. Subject appears under stress except when alone or when beliefs are reaffirmed.

"Benedict, could you give me an example to help me understand?" asked the counselor.


...and explain that it's a story about Benedict, his sister Victoria, and a psychologically mandated treatment in a virtual reality environment for a man who already feels disconnected from everypony he meets.

And then, mention I have no plans to finish it ever, even though it's completely written in my brain. :trollestia:
#38 ·
· · >>CoffeeMinion
>>CoffeeMinion
Is that true? Does something prevent you from submitting the same prompt again?
#39 ·
·
Aach. It doesn't look like I'm going to make it. And I actually had an idea I liked, too. Oh well. Best of luck to everyone else!
#40 · 5
·
It looks like I’m out…

Of my head, but you all already knew that.

Story is in.
#41 · 5
·
Do you know where you are?
[yes] / no

Do you regret?
[yes] / no

Are you ready?
[yes] / no
#42 ·
·
I give up. I tried to stick with my first idea of an horror story. I never wrote one, I started writing it yesterday, but I won't have time to finish it without killing everyone "And enveryone dies, the end."

Rejoyce my friends, you won't have to deal with my shit this round.
Good luck for those still writing. I'm gonna go curl up in a ball of despair and rolling down the Hill of Failure.

See you down the hill, I'll be waiting for you.
#43 · 2
·
Awesome, story is in! Good luck everyone still working down to the wire.
#44 · 1
·
So, this prompt inspired me to begin working on an idea that I have had for a while now, which is nice.

Not so nice is that the story, while started, will not be finished for this round.

Ah, well. So it goes.

As a matter of getting it down in public, however, I wish to say that I intend to write reviews for every story submitted this round. (My visual art reviewing skills are sub-par, but I will try to make an effort.) I've been extremely negligent on that front for the past several original rounds, both mini and regular-sized, and I wish to make up for that. So, if I fail in that regard, the rest of you are encouraged to channel your inner Chad, knock my books to the ground, and shove me in a locker. Or something.

Hope everyone has a good day, and I look forward to reading what y'all got.
#45 · 1
·
Hmm. If I finish my story someday and ponify it, I'm blaming all of you. :ajbemused:

Good luck to the eight of you who participated! I'm sure all of you will make the cut, because I can add numbers and wow this is going to be a long two weeks. :facehoof:
#46 ·
·
>>Trick_Question
Ah. I now see the distinction.

You monster. :-P
#47 · 3
·
This time, I'm sure to place in the top eight.

(Edit: And after reading them all, I think eighth place is about as good as I'm going to get. They're all *good* this time.)
#48 ·
· · >>Trick_Question
>>Trick_Question
I suppose this is more of an assumption on my part, truth be told. But even if Roger doesn't stop repeats from winning, I have to think that people would be a bit self-limiting about not letting a given prompt win twice--especially not with something as outlandish as Ot.
#49 ·
·
>>CoffeeMinion
I was thinking TBD might get away with a second go it because it gains added amusingness when it happens multiple times in a row oh and also we're a collection of idiotic assholes :trollestia:
#50 · 1
·
Wow, even the art round was pretty short on entries. Was everyone out watching an eclipse or something?
#51 · 3
·
Oh wow... only eight stories? I really wanted to participate in this, but unfortunately there was this whole "Eclipse" thing happening, and as I live in central Oregon, I had company in from as far away as Australia to watch the thing. Finally came to check on things now, see what the stories looked like, and was totally surprised to see only eight. Best of luck to everyone still in it though!
#52 ·
·
Georg’s Comments, which may be a surprise to some people because I quit commenting for a while due to darned Real World, but I was still reading most of them and voting. Let’s get started:

Make Twilight’s Butt Great Again — A — Ok, I’ll admit to this being the first one I read due to the title. Good start. And meta. And meta-meta. And… I don’t even know what that is. Ouch.
Ok, I’m giving this one top marks because I like it, and I’m afraid the rest of the crew is going to like it too. We’re a sick bunch, really…. Oh, wait. That was last writeoff. Let me dig a little deeper in the stack. Only eight this time and I think I can say something about all of them.
#53 · 3
·
(Belated response...)

Since there's so few entries, I've merged the prelim and final into a single round, and I've fixed the code that's supposed to do that automatically. In future, they won't be merged, instead the final will simply be dropped and the prelim will become the final (to save time).
#54 · 2
·
Holy.... Goaaaaaalllll!!!!! (darnit, can't link in a YouTube video of a soccer game goal)

More in a bit when I stop dancing around the room.
#55 · 1
·
Congratulations to our medalists! For only the third time ever, an author now has a full set of Original Fiction medals (Baal Bunny's gold/silver/bronze). Georg scored his first Original Fiction medal with style, and GaPJaxie's on the OF medal scoreboard for the first time as well!

Congratulations, also, to all entrants in general! As has been noted (e.g. >>Ranmilia), this round's entries were consistently strong. Original Fiction rounds are Writeoffs in hard mode, and every entry this round got some big things right.