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Why doesn't it rhyme? · Poetry Minific ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 50–1000

Original fiction.

Theme: Halloween

Show rules for this event
Definitely Not Dirty Limericks
There was a young witch from West Essex
Who lived her whole life under a hex
At birth given curse
That with age grew worse
She would fail when she wanted to have seances.

There was a young girl dressed as a duck
Her costume really did not suck
To a party she went
And met a fine gent
They went to a room so they could talk.

There was a werewolf named Horatio
Who outed himself on Today Show.
He pinned down the host
And began to boast
About how good he was at Wrestling.

There was an ax murd'rer at Doral
Who wanted to teach Trump a moral.
She hid in his room
While plotting his doom
Then jumped out and gave him some orders.
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#1 · 3
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I like:

The concept here, author--I made a similar point in one of my webcomics just a couple weeks ago, actually. I'd like them better if they kept the anapests going more strictly, but then I'm the sort of person who thinks a limerick's even funnier when it's in perfect meter. But these address the prompt so well, it almost balances out...

Mike
#2 · 3
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Reading this poem is like watching a gifted guitarist purposely play out of tune, but just competently enough that it really annoys other musicians.

I like it.
#3 · 1
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The jokes here are funny, but I'd guess most people would find them to be lame dad jokes?

On the whole, I liked it, but there are a few things that bugged me. I didn't understand the first one. I'm not sure what "fail" connotes here, so it just left me scratching my head. Limericks are definitely one of the forms that endure the most abuse in stretching it out of its intended meter, and the rhythm is off for most of it. For the kinds of jokes you're making, I can see you not wanting to spend the amount of time it'd take to perfect that, so YMMV.

Sometimes when there's a series of replaced words like this, there's a significance in the new or old words. I've been conditioned to look for this, because it's common to see it in certain thematic crossword puzzles. So if I look at the words that don't belong, I get "seances talk wrestling orders."

And in the spirit of Halloween, that's actually a pretty appropriate message. Funny, too.
#4 ·
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I think the ”seance” line meter is off slightly. Should be ”she'd” instead of ”she would”?
I think ”age” line is off.
Stress on Werewolf seems reversed. Half points.
Wrestling is right off on the meter.
The Doral Limerick seems to have a disjoint message. What lesson is she trying to teach with orders? Why is the axe murdering mentioned if unused? The RP-fiction seems unnecessary and out-of-place.

I could get behind the first three with small changes. Less sure about the last.
#5 · 2
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All four of these limericks are basically the same joke, so it's a good thing that it's an amusing one. :P

Unfortunately, I am running into some meter issues with a lot of these lines, which made my first reading take a bit more effort than it should have. The point of a limerick, after all, is to easily build the reader towards a punchline by following a familiar pattern. When that pattern gets stretched and broken, it does hurt the overall experience of the joke (or in this case, anti-joke).

Other than that, I don't think I've got much to note. The idea here is a bit of a simple one, but it's certainly effective for what it does.
#6 · 1
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Hmm, not sure about these. Meter is a little odd, and I feel like these were supposed to be funny, but I kind of missed the point on a few.