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Not the Whole Truth · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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I'm Not Asleep
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#1 · 2
· · >>CoffeeMinion
This one is going to have a snazzy story underneath, I can just tell.

When I was looking at this on my phone, I really thought the shadows obstructing her face were meant to be the viewer's eyelids. Also, seen from a distance, the shadows on her eyelids gives her a more sinister expression.

Needless to say I completely missed the tone of this piece until I got a closer look, which I think could be my first critique. Some of the shadows around her face and body feel too soft and fuzzy. We don't have much contrast from crevices where deeper shadows would be, and some of the nuance is lost. Same can be said about the pillow. A few creases in the pillow would give it more depth and volume. Maybe a few creases on the pillow like the split you've put into her mane.

That being said, after I understood what was happening with this piece, I really liked it. Subtlety works great here. You've given us a sliver of light and just enough details to tell us what's going on in the scene.

Great work, and I wish you luck!
#2 · 1
· · >>Pascoite
For some reason, my brain is telling me that her closed eye goes inwards instead of outwards. Maybe fuzzing the shadow more on the left side, to show the gradual slope, would help with that?
#3 · 3
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For the record, I really think this deserved a fic. Wish I'd been able to distill the words in my head into a coherent shape for a story.
#4 · 3
· · >>Rocket Lawn Chair
Author of “The Mære” informed me this was supposed to be a related pic. I've updated it accordingly.
#5 ·
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>>RogerDodger
Well, now I just feel silly.
#6 ·
·
Agreed a bit with >>Not_A_Hat but that her closed eye looks like the cheek under it is puffy to me.

This is just me being colorblind, but I wouldn't have thought that was Apple Bloom without reading the story.

The art is very nice. Her expression is convincing, and the lighting is very well executed.
#7 · 1
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I like what you're going for, here, with the stark highlight of the limited light source. The concept and the composition here just feel right and work together nicely. If anything, though, I think you might have stressed the contrast between light and dark a bit too much. At first glance, it's a bit difficult to tell what's going on outside of the beam of light, so the things like the pillow and her bow are easy to miss. And, well, I have no idea how drawing shadows works, but it struck me personally a little funny how we get such aggressive shadowing near her face, but none at all around her hoof or ear.

Still, have to say this really leaves me with an impression, Thank you for submitting!
#8 · 1
·
Not really your fault, but the thumbnail throws off my sense of composition/shape; in particular the shadow of the closed eye is prominent enough that it almost makes it looks like it's a fully side on shot. I don't know the best way to address it, but it was hard for me to recover when looking at the actual picture.

I did just have the realization that her pupil actually looks lighter than the adjacent shadow, which feels odd, and de-emphasizes the open eye.

It could be from a beam of light, but I did get the sense that the view was out of squinted/open/closing eyelids, an impression which never really went away.

The shapes looked fine, and the colors were naturally muted; no issues there. I'd think it mainly just needs some playing around with the shading to take it to the next level.
#9 ·
· · >>CoffeeMinion
You won't know when
I go to sleep
Cause I'm not tired


This is a subtle piece that needs attention to pick out the details. At first, I had trouble. It might actually help to widen the aperture of sight a bit, or shrink the subject. Part of my mental processing got diverted by trying to figure out exactly what parts of the subject are in the picture, and it may help to play with what's shown and perhaps to improve the contrast with the bed clothes.
I am classing this as an upper tier effort. Good job, Artist.
#10 ·
· · >>Rocket Lawn Chair
>>GroaningGreyAgony
>>Rocket Lawn Chair
Comments like these have piqued my curiosity: what do you guys see in this image? I think I see part of a pony’s head with one closed eye, one open eye, and a bit of mane. But I’m guessing that’s not at all what’s going on?
#11 · 1
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>>CoffeeMinion
Dunno that I literally see any more than what you're seeing. I think my meaning is that there's some interesting implications in all the little pieces of the scene. A sliver of light in a dark room, implying a door cracked open slightly. One eye closed, like she's pretending to be asleep.

Initially when I saw this picture, I imagined Apple Bloom overhearing a whispered conversation in the hallway. Granny Smith and Applejack are talking about Apple Bloom. They're discussing something they don't want her to know. They don't know she's wide awake, listening.

If I'd written a story for this round, it would have been for this picture.