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Rising From the Ashes · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
Her Smoke Rose Up Forever
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#1 · 4
· · >>CoffeeMinion >>GroaningGreyAgony
420 blaze it, Celestia.
#2 · 3
· · >>The_Letter_J >>GroaningGreyAgony
This is hand-drawn, and multiple panels, which means the artist definitely put in some effort. On the other hand, it's mostly just a silly joke. I'm not sure how I'll rank it. When I first looked at this, I thought Celestia was making a cigar. On second thought, I decided that the phoenix is actually re-incarning into a cigar. Either way, I did laugh.

This reminds me of a commercial I once saw. A girl finds a frog and kisses it, and it turns into a handsome man. He kisses her back, and she turns into a glass of beer. :P
#3 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
So Celestia is given a gift by her pet Filomina. And ends up smoking a blunt after the rebirth cycle of said majestic bird' resurrection. I am not amused. You could have turned this panel into one where Filomina goes evil in this current life time and boom. Instant story when the Princess of the sun summons up Filomina old caretaker to track and contain her. The timid pony of kindness "Fluttershy" this would have made a great short but. We get a blunt. So to be blunt about the blunt while the Princess here takes a toke of not organic green but of cremated bird s###, I will say this. I didn't need to see this. And I don't wanna write about it. You give me nothing in return except for 5 seconds of a smile and confusion for the next 30 minutes. What were you trying to share here? Your sense of comedy? That you can be funny? Maybe you're running up for a cartoon panel for a newspaper. I have no idea but I did not enjoy this one.
#4 · 2
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
A pheonix dies and still provides usefulness after death. I like it.

But don't you think that this kind of inspiration for the writer is too linear? Heck, putting it in a comic form basically tells the entire story one could potentially write by itself. Only good way for someone to pull this off as inspiration would be to have it as a twist. And since the twist is already explained here, you'd have to do a double twist, a twist inside of a twist, so then people will be twisted just enough.

Or maybe I'm thinking too much from this... Overall decent, slightly funny.
#5 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
The art here is fine, but it's not really doing anything else for me. It doesn't help that it took me a while to realize that Celestia wasn't the one who turned the ashes into a cigar, and that just seemed to troll-y for my taste.
But I think >>Not_A_Hat hit the nail on the head with this one. It really does feel like a commercial.
#6 · 1
· · >>Morning Sun >>GroaningGreyAgony
I find this bucking hilarious.

I acknowledge that that may speak ill of me.

>>Morning Sun
I'm pretty sure it's Luna, but otherwise, that does seem to be it.
#7 · 2
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
This one was dumb, but it was fun. I like it :)
#8 · 2
· · >>CoffeeMinion
The torc in panel 2 appears to have little lines suggesting it's Sunbutt's torc.
#9 · 1
>>Morning Sun
Hmm. I see that, but the face looks way more Luna to me.

I dunno. I'm not an art critic. :derpytongue2: This ranks pretty high for me on the strength of its cheeky humor. Dat face in the final panel is just classic.
#10 · 3
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
Celestia! Stop smoking the caption! We haven't read it yet! 8/10
#11 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
I'm not the type for pets, but I'd like a phoenix like that one, too!
#12 · 4
· · >>Morning Sun
>>Morning Sun, >>Not_A_Hat, >>Remedyfortheheart, >>Kritten. >>The_Letter_J, >>CoffeeMinion, >>bloons3, >>horizon, >>wYvern

Her Smoke Rose Up First, or, Ceci n’est pas un cigare

I had a pretty nice art idea for this round, and went to sleep on the first night planning great things for the morrow.

The next morning, I got this silly idea as well, said “Why not?” and dashed it off. Out of all the pieces I did, it is the ranked the lowest, but nonetheless inspired the most stories. So… yay, I guess.

The first draft showed Celestia (yes, I meant it to be her) using her hornfield on the ashes, so those who interpreted this as “Sunbutt makes a cigar out of Philomena” were not far off. I decided that the hornfield wasn’t very obvious in a B&W sketch and I thought it was a bit funnier if Philomena just spontaneously reincarnated as a cigar, so I took the lines out.

The cartoon is perhaps too explicit in telling its own story, but it proved inspirational anyway, so sic freat crustulum.

To those who were distressed by the image, I’m sorry you didn’t like it. To those who liked it, I invite you to put it in your pipe and smoke it. Either way, thank you for the comments!

(For the record, I don’t smoke at all, and that was supposed to be just a regular cigar and not a homemade one, hence the label I drew on it. I don’t see what I could have reasonably done to prevent a 420 inference, so I have no regrets.)

ETA: The title of the cartoon is a reference to the works of James Tiptree.
#13 · 1
I didn't make it into the contest proper but it inspired another abomination! Phoenix Dust