"...so then the wet nurse knocks the bottle away with one of her arms and grabs the baby in the other seven," said Discord, stirring an extra lump of sugar into his tea. He sprawled across Fluttershy's couch, his cup and saucer floating above his face, while Fluttershy occupied the armchair next to him. A knee-high coffee table with an antique tea set stood between them.

"Then she glares at Bill – or as much as a creature without a face can glare, I suppose. And Bill just shrugs and says, innocent as can be, 'well, how was I supposed to know that Mergo was lactose intolerant?'"

Fluttershy hid her giggle behind her hoof. Bizarre though this tale was, it still was nowhere near as esoteric as what Discord usually brought to Tuesday tea.

"Oh, I shouldn't laugh at that. Was poor Mergo okay?"

"Mergo was fine – lactose intolerance is an inconvenience at worst to an incorporeal entity. He just went back to his loft." Discord scoffed and sipped his tea, frowned, then drank the cup for good measure.

"Discord," said Fluttershy flatly. "My grandmother gave me this tea set."

"Mm? Oh, sorry." He spat the cup back into his hand, set it onto the saucer, and smiled placatingly. "You mortals can be so touchy over your possessions."

"Well, I suppose when matter and energy are playings to you, you lose your appreciation for sentimental value."

"Tch." Discord rolled his eyes. "Now you sound like Celestia after that orphanage thing."

        Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at him. "Discord..."

        "Fine, fine, fine. I'll stop devouring your possessions." He waved his paw and his teacup floated across the table toward Fluttershy for a refill. "Porcelain gives me gas, anyway."

        Fluttershy beamed and took hold of the teapot in her mouth. Her ears twitched before she could start pouring, and she set the pot down, frowning at her front door. "Do you hear that?"

        An ear trumpet sprouted from the side of Discord's head, and he cupped his hand against it. "Now that you mention it, I do. A wailing racket, like the anguished sobs of the dejected masses as they huddle around a firepit, crying out for deliverance against their malevolent overseer."

Fluttershy glared disapprovingly at Discord.

"What?" The trumpet curled back into Discord's head, and he shrugged. "Everyone has a past, Fluttershy."

"I just wish you wouldn't be so nonchalant about it," Fluttershy muttered. She angled her head – the sound was coming closer, growing clearer. It did sound like crying. But who could...?

"Fluttershyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

She recognized the voice at once and shot toward the door. "That's––"

The door flew open before she could reach it and Zephyr Breeze soared inside, tears streaming like ribbons in his wake. He was a mess; his coat was streaked with dirt, and his mane – usually well-coiffed and shimmering – was a dirty, tangled mop, cut crudely into jagged strips. He threw himself on the couch, on top of Discord, and plunged his face into the nonplussed chaos god's chest.

"I'm in troooouuuub-b-b-buuuuuuuuuuuuull,"h e wailed, his voice muffled by Discord's fur.

Discord, aghast, looked at Fluttershy for an explanation that didn't come.

Fluttershy rushed back to the couch and took her brother by the shoulders. "Zephyr Breeze, talk to me; what's wrong? Did your salon go under? Did you get evicted from your apartment"

Zephyr looked up from Discord, sniffling. "Salon's great, an' my pad's a swingin' bachelor's paradise. Problem's with me, sis – I'm up to my neck in debt!"

"Debt? What are you––"

"I made some bad choices, okay?!" Zephyr wiped his nose with the back of his hoof. "You know how I was – old Zeph, Zeph 1.0, call him what you want; a while back, he did some stupid things in Las Pegasus, and ended up owing money to somepony callin' herself Strong Arm! Things were copasheeshee for a while, and then yesterday, this mare came lookin' to collect for Strong Arm––"

Fluttershy cupped Zephyr's face in her hooves. "How much do you owe?"

"...A hundred thousand bits," said Zephyr at length. "'Course, that's with a lot of interest––"

"A hundred thousand bits?" Fluttershy squealed. "Zephyr, that's – you can't possibly afford that!"

"That's what I said! So she said that, in that case, they'll just collect fifty percent of my monthly earnings at the end of every month! And when I said I couldn't pay that without goin' broke an' losin' my business, she just said 'well, that's a shame,' and went around trashin' the salon! Dumped out my plant on my head, poured most of my hair product down the sink, jacked up the jack on the chair so that it's stuck at full height and won't go back down... Then, worst of all, she pinned me to the ground, and took a pair of scissors... and..."

"What did she do, Zephyr?" said Fluttershy, trembling with horror.

"She chopped up my mane!" Zephyr jabbed a hoof at his head frantically. He lapsed back into broken sobbing and thrust his face into Discord's chest again

"Fluttershy," said Discord quietly, his jaw clenched with irritation. "Tell it to stop making Rarity noises."

"Zephyr?" Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around his shoulders and gently pulled him to the other side of the couch, off of Discord. "You're sort of... snotting all over my friend here."

"F-friend?" Zephyr snorted loudly and looked at Discord, blinking in confusion. "This is...?"

"My dear friend, Discord."

Zephyr wiped away his tears. "Y-you're the Discord I heard so much about? God of chaos and disharmony and whatever? But that's..." His hiccups turned into gentle laughter. "Sorry, I-I just assumed you were one of Fluttershy's body pillows."

Fluttershy froze, heart seizing, mane and tail standing on end.

Discord smirked, glancing between Zephyr and Fluttershy. "Body pillows, huh?"

Chuckling nervously, Fluttershy interposed herself between the two of them. "Oh, there's no need to trouble ourselves with––"

"No no," said Discord smugly, folding his hands behind his head. "I'd like to hear about this."

"Oho, well," Zephyr drawled, his voice still thick from crying. "Back in high school, Flutters here had a collection like you wouldn't believe. She'd cuddle up with a different one every single ni––"

A brick suddenly crashed through the front window, startling Fluttershy into hiding behind Discord, and Zephyr into hiding behind Fluttershy.

Silently, Fluttershy thanked kismet for the brick's deliverance.

Discord rolled his eyes, shook the siblings off of his back, and undulated through the air toward the brick. Dropping to his feet, he snapped his fingers and reassembled the shattered window, floated the brick to his hands, and examined it.

"How cute. There's a note." Discord pulled the note from the brick, unfolded it, and cleared his throat. "'Ponyville Tower in one hour, Zeph. P.S. Don't try to run again, patchouli-head.'" He tossed the brick over his shoulder; mid-air, it transformed into a marshmallow, and smacked Zephyr in the face, exploding into a flock of starlings. They immediately set to work styling his mane into a long, braided ponytail with their beaks.

Zephyr, stunned, sat without moving.

Discord balled up the note, tossed it into his mouth, and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing. "I like the brevity, but the brick's clichéic. I give it a six-point-five. Bonus half-point for the iambic pentameter."

Zephyr broke his trance with a shake of his head that whipped the half-finished ponytail back and forth and set the starlings to chirping angrily. "Wait a tick – that's it! I figured it out; I know how I'm gonna get outta this! Discord, you got all those freaky-deaky chaos powers, right?"

Discord frowned. "You're not wrong, just offensively inelegant."

"Well then, problem solved! You can just magic up a pile of bits for the ponies I owe money to! No fuss, no muss, no more of Strong Arm's goons messing up my workspace!"

Fluttershy and Discord exchanged a look. "Um... well... in theory, that might work," said Fluttershy.

"Minting a big pile of bits straight out of the ether? I could do that in my sleep. Unfortunately, I'm not supposed to pull tricks like that with money. Cay-Cay was very put out with me the last time I did. 'Discord, stop devaluing Equestrian currency,'" he said in falsetto.

Zephyr's face fell, even as the starlings finished their work and promptly imploded. Then his face lit up a second time. "Well then, what if you just come along with me the next time I meet with 'em? Be my bodyguard, and spook 'em enough to drop the debt and leave me alone!"

Fluttershy gasped, but Discord, intrigued, stroked his chin.

"Discord ex Machina, huh?" he mused. "That would be perfectly alright, I suppose."

"It most certainly would not be!" Fluttershy cried, rising to eye level with Discord. "I'm glad you want to help Zephyr, Discord, but hurting other ponies is the wrong way to do it! It could land you in trouble with the Princesses, or cause you to backslide into old habits! And you've been so good about not using your powers maliciously. I don't want to see that change, even if it's in defense of somepony innocent!"

"Who said anything about hurtin' other ponies? I just want him to scare the goons away – bluff 'em with his chaos hoobajoob." said Zephyr. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the nearby window and tossed his head to-and-fro, watching his ponytail sway with the motion. "Ooh, I think I'm gonna keep this look for a while..."

"Sometimes, the threat of chaos alone is a deterrent," Discord added. "The Neighponese have a saying about it, in fact."

"Even a threat is going too far," Fluttershy insisted. "I know this is a serious situation, and I know it needs resolving. But can't you just sit down and talk it out with one another, instead of resorting to threats and intimidation? Or go to the authorities, or... something?"

"Flutters, that's a fine way of thinkin'," said Zephyr, floating across the room to join her and Discord. "And I respect it – really, I do! But they're not gonna wanna sit down and talk, and the law can't touch 'em – they're the kind of ponies who think the law is just a suggestion they don't need to follow. If that ever would'a worked, it would'a been done a long time ago."

Fluttershy bit her lip. "I... but..."

"Fluttershy, this is my life we're talkin' about," Zephyr said, wringing his hooves pleadingly. "Please, gimme your blessin' on this."

Fluttershy looked hesitantly at Discord, who shrugged. "There are worse ways to kill an afternoon."

She sighed. "If that's how you want to handle things, and if Discord's alright with it... then I suppose I won't get in your way."

Zephyr darted up and squished Fluttershy against his chest, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou, thank you both, I am so so so lucky to have friends and family like––"

"On one condition!" She pulled away from Zephyr, turned back to Discord, and pressed her hoof to his chest. "You have to promise me that, no matter what, you won't inflict anything malicious on any of them. Even if they call your bluff."

"But Fluttershy!" Discord whined. "Think of all the golden opportunities to sow chaos! The havoc I could wreak upon their––"

"Dis. Cord." She narrowed her eyes.

Discord spluttered, before finally sighing and tossing up his hands. "Alright. I give in. I won't do anything that could possibly be construed as violent or malicious."

"No matter what?"

"...No matter what."

Fluttershy dropped her hoof and nuzzled Discord.

Behind them, Zephyr lashed his hoof in the air, accompanying it with a cracking sound. Without looking back, Discord's tail slapped Zephyr across the nose, eliciting a yelp of pained surprise.

"Starting now."

---

A curvaceous, bright pink mare in a black suede jacket waited in the shadow of Ponyville Tower. Her mane was strawberry-red, her eyes blue, and she bore a tsunami as her cutie mark. Zephyr was calm as he approached – after all, he had a secret weapon up his sleeve. Or his nose, rather.

"Garbage pony," greeted the mare, her voice seasoned with a Prench accent. "You might have made yourself presentable. The manestyle's nice, but the dirt? Inexcusable."

Tinny snickering echoed in Zephyr's left nostril. "Oh, I like her."

"Incidentally," she continued, "I notice that you are not carrying sacks of money on your person. I believe I was quite clear on you bringing me sacks of money."

"Oh yeah, no, you were totally a hundred percent clear on that point," said Zephyr smoothly. "Zee-row ambiguity. I just decided not to bring you anything."

The mare was unfazed. "You have brought... nothing."

"Jack diddley."

"You have no intention of paying anything, do you?"

"I did try to tell you before that I couldn't, didn't I?"

"You did. Or so I assume; it was hard to understand with all the sobbing."

This time, Discord's snickering was loud enough for the mare to notice. "Do you need to blow your nose?" she asked.

Zephyr grinned nervously. "Could you, like, maybe tone it down just a tad? Just a pinchy-pinch?" he hissed to Discord through his teeth.

The mare cocked her head, confused and a little concerned.

Discord snorted. "Oh, who cares what you want? You're just window dressing for me!"

Zephyr's nose twitched; his eyes slammed shut, and he sneezed a thick wad of snot that transformed midair into Discord, replete with top hat and cane.

"Saaaalutations!" he sang, striking a showman's pose.

The mare looked Discord up and down. "Garbage Pony. Explain."

"Ah... this is my ace-in-the-hole," said Zephyr in a stuffed-up, nasally voice.

"A gambling-themed one-liner! Well-punned, Garbage Pony! Now, do me a solid and hold these, would you?" Discord tossed his hat and cane to Zephyr, who caught them, nonplussed.

"The name," he said as he sauntered to meet the mare, "is Discord. My reputation precedes me, I'm sure."

The mare's eyebrow arched. "You... are Discord? The Discord?"

"None other," said Discord in an oily voice. "And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

"Je T'aime."

Discord cocked his head and grinned. "Well, I'm certainly flattered, but you and I barely know each other. Although your taste is impeccable, I must say."

"My name. Je T'aime Étranger. Imbécile." Je T'aime scoffed and looked away. "All the damn time, this happens..."

"Oh!" Discord blinked. "Beg your pardon, mademoiselle."

Je T'aime shook her head, muttering in irritation. "No matter. I must raise the question of why you are here. You are an 'ace-in-the-hole,' says Garbage Pony. Why does he say this?"

Discord doffed his cap and tossed it over his shoulder, where it landed on Zephyr's head and sank to his muzzle. "I'm here to negotiate on Garbage Pony's behalf, for the sake of his sister, my dear BFFF." He winked. "That stands for 'Best Friend Forever Fluttershy.'"

Zephyr whipped the hat off of his head. "Wouldja pretty please stop callin' me––"

"Silence, Garbage Pony; the grown-ups are speaking."

"There is no negotiation to be had," Je T'aime snapped. "Garbage Pony owes money to Strong Arm, and Strong Arm will have her due. If he cannot make payments, then Je T'aime knows other ways in which he can pay his debt."

Zephyr gulped.

"Your position is stupid, and I have a counter-offer that would suit everypony involved better," said Discord.

"Oh?"

"Mm-hm. Here it is." He leaned forward, casting a wide shadow over Je T'aime. "You leave. You don't come back. You tell your boss to drop this debt, and we all remain happy as clams."

Je T'aime snorted. "You expect me to bring this to Strong Arm?"
        
"Right you are, my feathery friend."

"And should I refuse?"

Discord grinned, his teeth like daggers. The fang that poked from his mouth elongated and curved like a sabre, and his entire body stretched grotesquely.

"So glad you asked."

The sky grew dark. A trio of daisies with gnashing, razor-sharp teeth sprouted beside Je T'aime. Another appeared on her other side. Both rows of flowers grinned and swayed, humming a chilling melody.

"You think to test your will against mine?" Discord's voice was a thunderous rumble that shook the earth on every word. "I, the primordial manifestation of entropy itself? I, who have made the cosmos my plaything since reality was young? I, who can peer into your heart and know every fear, every foible, every facet of your being, and turn your darkest nightmares upon you? I will break you, Je T'aime Étranger and scatter your bones across the unforgiving sea of time!"

The swaying flowers lunged and hissed at once, teeth coming inches from biting into Je T'aime's coat.

Zephyr stared at Discord, sweating bullets. "Snap."

Je T'aime never wavered, staring Discord in the eye throughout his speech. She finally shrugged. "Okay. Go ahead."

Discord seemed to shrink a little. "Say again?"

"You are really primordial god of this and that and the other thing? Then do your worst. Turn my guts to eels or make me breathe chlorine or whatever you plan to do."

The sky lightened; the flowers ceased their swaying. Their hissing died down to a general annoyed mutter.

And Je T'aime still stared up at Discord. "Well?"

"I'm... working my way up to it."

"Your worst. Or stop wasting time."

Discord remained frozen as the frightful scene faded. His fang sank back into his mouth, and his body shrank to its normal size. Sighing, he slumped his shoulders and folded his ears against his head. "Sorry, kid, but she called my bluff. I made a promise to Fluttershy that I wouldn't hurt anypony, and I won't break it."

Zephyr stared, open mouthed, eyes watering.

"Touching. Your commitment, I mean." Je T'aime stroked her chin. "I tell you what. For the sake of Discord, and his sense of honor, I give you one more day to pay what you owe. But that is the end of my generosity. I will be by your sister's home tomorrow to collect. Stiff me again, and I start collecting pieces of you instead."

Zephyr's knees quaked.

"Oh," she added. "And I mean it. Do not try to run again." Snapping her wings, she took to the sky, and sailed out of sight.

Discord put his hands on his hips. "I think she likes me. Do you think she likes me?"

Zephyr buried his face in his hooves and groaned.

---

"Oh, I am so proud of you," Fluttershy cooed, wrapping an embarrassed Discord in a hug. "And so thankful that you kept your promise to me."

Discord's body sagged. "Well, at least somepony is happy with the way that went. It was humiliating, Fluttershy! The feeling of impotence it brought..."

"I know how tempting it must have been to give her the business." Fluttershy rubbed behind one of Discord's ears. "But you took the high road, and you reminded the world of just what a sweetheart you really are."

Discord blushed. "Well... I suppose that's one positive takeaway from all of this."

"Oh yeah, no, totally," Zephyr snapped. He was seated on Fluttershy's couch, trembling, a blanket draped over his shoulders and a cup of cocoa in his hooves. "Happy for you, Discord, real happy for you. I mean, my problem didn't get fixed, but at least you reminded the world that you're a sweetheart. That's what matters, right?" A shiver ran through him.

Fluttershy clicked her tongue sympathetically and floated to sit beside him. "There, there..."

Zephyr drank from his cocoa and set his mug on the end table beside the couch. "There's no makin' this better, Flutters. I'm finished. Done. Game over, man! The salon'll close, a-and I won't be able to make rent at home, and when I'm out of a job and got no income... what's gonna happen to me then, huh? What're they gonna do to me?"

"Zephyr Breeze..." Fluttershy looped a foreleg around Zephyr's neck and pulled him close. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed wetly.

"It's all over. I screwed up, Flutters. I let you down, and I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..."

"You haven't let me down, and you're not going to lose everything, Zephyr." She kissed her brother on the top of his head. "I have another idea. Trust me."

She looked up at Discord, who was standing in the center of the room, awkwardly looking away from the siblings as they had their moment. "Discord?"

He snapped to attention. "Mmyes?"

"How quickly do you think you'd be able to find this 'Je T'aime' pony?"

"Hmm, well, let's see..." His lips moved as he counted off his fingers, mumbling intermittently. "Carry the hypotenuse, rounding upward from the radial square of pi, and factoring in the multi-spectral quantum phase inversion principle... ah! Instantaneously. Wherefore do you ask?"

Fluttershy smiled. "I'd like you to pay her a visit for me, and ask her to pass on an invitation."

---

Dawn saw Fluttershy waiting with Discord outside her cottage. Discord leaned against the front door, his arms folded, while Fluttershy sat beside him.

"Taking their sweet time, aren't they?" muttered Discord, drumming his talons against his bicep.

"Try to be patient." Fluttershy patted Discord's leg. "She said she'd be here, didn't they?"

"She said she'd pass the message along. I have no idea what that means, exactly. For all we know, she'll be sending a sow in a business suit."

"That's glass-half-empty talk." She smiled encouragingly. "She'll show up, Discord"

"Mm. You sound confident." He glanced sidelong at her. "Oddly confident, and relaxed, considering."

Fluttershy sighed. "I'm perfectly capable of having a civil conversation without panicking. She's just a businesspony, after all. One with a considerable fortune to her name. Who wants to bully my brother out of business.  Who sends scary ponies to wreck the business of ponies who displease her, and who potentially has her hooves in all sorts of less than savory activities, and now that you mention it, perhaps I should lie down for a––"

"Out of the question, I'm afraid." Discord jerked his thumb toward the sky.

Je T'aime, silhouetted by the rising sun, swooped from the heavens and alighted in front of Fluttershy's cottage. She looked over the facade, from one side to the other, glanced up at Discord with a twitch of her lips, and approached Fluttershy directly.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Good morning! You must be Je T'aime. My name is––"

"I know who you are," Je T'aime said. "You did work with Photo Finish for a time. Good work. I was at one of your shows; you were resplendent."

"...Oh." Fluttershy flushed. "Well, it's... nice to meet a fan, I suppose."

She nodded and stepped away as a brown, bald, bulky pegasus stallion swept in and touched down beside her. "Perimeter's clear, chief," he said.

From over the house came a tan pegasus with curtains of silver hair framing a smug grin, and a black and red skull cap covering the top half of his head. "Backyard's got a bear in it."

"Oh, don't mind Bear-Ba-Lon," said Fluttershy. "He's just a client. I have an appointment with him this afternoon for a deep-tissue massage, and he likes to arrive a few hours early to visit with Angel Bunny."

Je T'aime raised an eyebrow. "Keep an eye on the bear," she muttered to the bulky stallion. She turned her head and called over her shoulder. "All clear!"

A black carriage, trimmed in gold and pulled by a pair of mules, rolled up the path to the cottage and came to a halt. Its door opened, and its occupant stepped out.

Discord leaned down to whisper in Fluttershy's ear. "Were you aware that this Strong Arm was a minotaur?"

Strong Arm was dressed in a well-pressed black suit and skirt, a red tie hanging around her neck. Her legs were steel gray, but her head and hands were snow-white. She was short and thin, with a care-lined face, and sharp blue eyes that quickly sized up the cottage, as well as the pair who stood outside to greet her.

She clopped her way up the path, her goons parting to make way for her. In height, Je T'aime came up to Strong Arm's neck; she stood on tip-hoof to whisper in the minotaur's ear.

Strong Arm nodded thoughtfully, then patted Je T'aime on the shoulder. "Noted, but I'll be quite alright, I'm sure. Go take a load off; there's ice water in the carriage." Her voice was rich and grandmotherly, and, absurdly, made Fluttershy glad that she washed the porcelain teaset for this occasion.

Je T'aime nodded, glanced one last time at Fluttershy and Discord, and trotted away, her goons in tow.

Strong Arm brushed off the front of her suit and offered a warm smile to Fluttershy – a smile, Fluttershy noted, which didn't quite reach her eyes. "You're Fluttershy, I presume. Friend to the animals, fashion icon, and co-savior of Equestria... how many times over? And this dashing creature must be the Discord of legend. You made quite an impression Je T'aime yesterday – she actually recommended you for a job, did you know that?"

Discord smirked. "Knew she liked me."

Fluttershy was certain she'd missed something, and reminded herself to ask Discord about it at some point. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said. "You must be Ms. Strong Arm."

"Indeed. Elisheba Strong Arm, at your service. Although I insist that you call me Bessie. We don't need to stand on ceremony, after all." Bessie smiled politely. "And may I just say that your home looks lovely – I should like to see if it's as gorgeous on the inside as it is on the out."

"Oh, of course!" She nudged the door open and backed inside. "Right this way, please."

Discord watched them leave with a concerned frown. Fluttershy could only offer a half-smile as reassurance before shutting the door.

The living room was spotlessly cleaned and arranged, with Fluttershy's inherited teaset laid out on the rectangular table. A pair of chairs were positioned at either end of the table, with Fluttershy's couch beside it. Zephyr Breeze sat on the couch, and his jaw went slack when he glimpsed the minotaur. He glanced at Fluttershy for an explanation; she just shrugged.

"Gorgeous," mused Bessie, looking throughout the living room. "Las Pegasus is a desert, you know, not much in the way of greenery. To live surrounded by the beauty of the natural world? That's a blessing. And I envy you."

"Um... thank you," Fluttershy said. She gestured to the hapless pegasus seated on the couch. "May I introduce you my brother, Zephyr Breeze?"

This startled Zephyr Breeze back into awareness. "M-mornin' Ms. Strong Arm, sir lady minotaur."

Fluttershy winced – not a good first impression – but to her surprise, Bessie just laughed it off. "Just Bessie, please. And there's no need to be so nervous – we're all friends here, aren't we?" She pointed to one of the chairs by the table. "May I?"

"By all means!" Fluttershy chirped.

Bessie took her seat, folding her legs primly as Fluttershy poured her a cup of tea. She accepted the drink, and stirred a lump of sugar into it.

"Thank you so much for coming out here on such short notice," Fluttershy said as she poured cups for herself and Zephyr.

"Well, it's not every day that a national hero invites me over for tea," chuckled Bessie, idly stirring. She eyed her drink with a flicker of doubt that Fluttershy found discordant with the rest of her demeanor.

"Besides," she added, with a glance at Zephyr that made him gulp. "As a responsible businessperson, I think it's important to take charge of matters personally from time to time, rather than leave things to my subordinates. After all, any problem can be solved if only the parties involved can sit down and talk to one another maturely."

"I agree completely." Fluttershy settled into her own seat, taking a quick sip from the teacup between her hooves. "And I just know that we'll be able to come to an agreement that'll leave everyone in this room satisfied."

A smile crinkled Bessie's face, and she, at last, took a sip of her own. "Then let's get to business, shall we?"

She wasted no time. Fluttershy cleared her throat primly. "Well, Bessie, the fact of the matter is that Zephyr simply can't afford to pay what you're asking without ruining himself in the process."

"Oh, that can't be the case." She turned her crinkly smile onto Zephyr. "Adversity often brings out the best in people; he'd surely find a way to make it work. You might even say I'd be doing him a favor by holding him accountable for his debt."

Fluttershy took a deep breath and set her cup back onto her saucer. "I think your employee has already done him enough favors."

Bessie tilted her head. "Are you referring to that business with the salon? You can hardly blame Je T'aime for your brother's clumsiness."

Zephyr straightened. "Clumsiness?!"

"Yes. She told me how her presence intimidated you so badly that you stumbled into a potted plant and upended it all over yourself."

"That's a lie! She picked that thing up and dumped all the dirt out over my head!"

"That's not what I was told."

"Well, it's what happened!"

Bessie nodded and spooned another sugarcube into her tea. "All a matter of perspective, I suppose."

"And my mane?" Zephyr pointed to his do. "She pinned me down while she took a pair of scissors and hacked up my luscious locks!"

She looked curiously at his mane. "Frankly, I'm not sure I believe you on that point – your mane looks no worse for wear. Quite the contrary, actually. That's a lovely braid."

Those starlings did their jobs too well.

"My point is," said Bessie, "that, while I'm glad Je T'aime made such an effective impression on your brother, she did nothing outside the bounds of the legal. Nothing that can be proven, at any rate, beyond reasonable doubt. I have it on good authority that any evidence that could be brought against her in trial would be dismissed as purely circumstantial."

Fluttershy's lips drew a thin, tight line across her face – she was starting to realize the kind of person she was dealing with. "She did threaten to take my brother apart piece by piece, you know. That makes me a little nervous where she's concerned."

"Piece by – oh dear. Is that what this is about?" Bessie chuckled and shook her head. "Je T'aime, Je T'aime. She's a spirited girl, but a bit overzealous in her pursuits at times." She leaned toward Zephyr, who shrank away reflexively.

"Zeph – may I call you Zeph? – don't you worry. I have no intention of hurting you."

"Y'don't?"

"Of course not! I'm a legitimate businessperson, not a barbarian. I won't hurt you, and neither will Je T'aime." She patted his knee reassuringly. "If you can't meet your financial obligation through your business, then you'll simply have to... work for me."

Anxiety needled the back of Fluttershy's neck. "What do you mean?"

Bessie's cold blue eyes seemed to harden as she flicked them toward Fluttershy. "It's all in the contract he signed. In the event that Zephyr Breeze defaults on his debt, he will be given a position in my own business, one suiting his talents, and will work in my establishment until he pays off his debt. He'll have room and board, too. Granted, those will also add to his debt – considerably – but he will be well taken care of throughout his employment cycle."

Fluttershy's teacup and saucer quaked in her trembling hooves. She shot Zephyr a look that plainly said "you didn't tell me about any contract."

Zephyr gulped and shrugged helplessly.

"In short, it's indentured servitude." Bessie's teeth flashed in a predatory smile. "And, before you ask, it's quite legal, I assure you. And the documents he signed? Binding."

Fluttershy, trembling, stared back at Bessie with her jaws clenched together.

"Fluttershy, let me be frank." Bessie drained the last of her tea, reached for the kettle, and refilled her cup to the brim. "Zephyr Breeze took considerable losses in my gambling establishment in Las Pegasus. He had no job, and couldn't afford to pay. So he signed documents, under no pressure or duress, which legally entitled me to fifty percent of his monthly earnings after he found gainful employment. In the event that he cannot meet that very generous figure, he enters my employment until his debt is paid. I won't let him renege on a deal which was struck in good faith. Now, I can plainly see that you love him very much, and I'm touched by the lengths to which you're going here."

Her speech, and her bearing, became cold, as frigid as the gaze she froze Fluttershy with.

"But I intend to have my due. And no power in Equestria can keep me from it."

Fluttershy's jaw started to chatter audibly. She raised her teacup to her mouth, but her trembling made her swish and splash her drink along the sides of the porcelain, until it was too slick to grip, and it slipped from her grasp, shattering on the floor.

She stared silently at the mess until Zephyr's hoof touched her on the shoulder. She met his gaze – he was smiling, eyes shining with tears. "Sorry, Flutters. For not tellin' you everythin'. You gave it your best shot, but... I think we're beat."

"Zeph..."

"I mean it. Don't worry about me." He wiped his eyes. "I thought they were gonna hack off bits of me for, I dunno, stew, or somethin'. But they're not! I'll have a job, and a place to sleep, food..."

"Our accommodations are enviable," Bessie added.

"Yeah, see? It's not gonna be so bad." He choked down a sob. "And it's the only choice I got."

His words of defeat coiled her stomach in a knot. Then she looked at Bessie, smiling victoriously, slurping tea from her grandmother's porcelain, and the knot tightened further.

"Zephyr Breeze," she said softly. "Will you give Bessie and I a moment alone?"

Zephyr looked in her eyes, and his expression changed from resignation, to confusion, and, finally, to a flicker of hope. He hopped from the couch and his wings took him upstairs, leaving Fluttershy and the minotaur alone, a coffee table and an partially incomplete teaset between them.

Fluttershy spoke calmly. "Zephyr can't pay his debt without ruining his life, and his only other option is to give his life to you. Neither of those are acceptable."

Bessie smirked. "They're perfectly acceptable. Palatable, no, I admit. But acceptable."

"I'm not going to let you have him."

"I thought you were committed to solving this reasonably, Fluttershy." Bessie's voice was deathly quiet. "Let me remind you that I have three pegasi outside, to your one impotent draconequus. Keep that in mind before you start leveling threats."

"It's not in my nature to threaten," said Fluttershy. "I hate threats. I hate conflict. I hate that we're at odds right now; I'd much prefer this be a pleasant conversation over tea, and nothing more." She reached over the table to retrieve Zephyr's forgotten cup – it was still half-full.

"Incidentally, and just as a reminder, I do have a bear in my backyard."

Her eyes were closed as she finished the cup, so she couldn't see the look on Bessie's face.

"You have no legal recourse here," said Bessie coldly. "The documents Zephyr signed bind him to my employ if he defaults upon his debt. The law is on my side in this matter, as you will quickly discover if you insist on fighting me."

"I'm sure that's true," said Fluttershy. "In this matter. But I'm sure there are other matters where the law might not be on your side. Things you'd rather nopony looked at closely. Whose legality you might have a harder time defending than you would indentured servitude."

Bessie snorted, amused. "For argument's sake, sure. Let's say there are. Even if the threat of legal action did scare me, what could I possibly have to fear from you?"

"Oh, it's not me you'd need to worry about." She drained the cup completely and set it back on the table. "It's Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Bessie's face spasmed with shock before reassuming her icy demeanor. "You're going to go tattle on me to the crown? Do you have any idea how many ponies in situations like this have flung that idle threat in my face?"

"I told you, it's not in my nature to threaten. This is a... warning. And a promise. And it's definitely not idle."

Bessie leaned forward, glaring skeptically at Fluttershy.

"You see," said Fluttershy, gathering herself in her seat. "Through me, Zephyr's connected to an extended family which goes all the way up to Princess Twilight. So if I went to her, and I told her that my brother is having problems with a minotaur who's a... ah... 'legitimate businessperson...' well, I wouldn't even need to ask her to do anything. She would be on that like a party pony on a plate of pancakes."

"And she would find nothing, because you have nothing on me." But Fluttershy could see that Bessie was starting to sweat.

"That's true. But Princess Twilight would find something, I'm sure, after a thorough, exhaustive, lengthy review of every one of your assets and business ventures. Twilight Sparkle is a 'legitimate businessperson's' worst nightmare. She's focused, determined, relentless, and noble; she can't be intimidated or bribed or beaten. Give her a library of legal books and a week, and she'll find a way to turn your whole establishment inside-out in court. And when that happens, and you're arrested, and all your ill-begotten assets seized? Zeph will go free."

She smiled sweetly, even as a part of her cursed herself for the look of indignation on Bessie's face, the sweat stains showing through her suit. Part of Fluttershy felt like a monster.

Another just felt like fainting – this was one heck of a bluff.

She didn't doubt Twilight's abilities, nor her commitment to her friends, and she felt certain that Twilight would do something to help Zephyr if she asked. But she also wasn't sure just how far outside her mandate as Princess of Friendship she would go. Twilight had a duty to the crown, and with that came limits – even where her friends were concerned.

But Bessie didn't need to know that.

"So," Fluttershy finished. "Whatever the outcome of this conversation, Zephyr Breeze will not live his life under your hoof. Pushing that will only bring you a great big headache and a legal mess. And I don't want to be responsible for that, and I don't want you to have to go through it. Surely, one little contract isn't worth all that, is it?"

A vein pulsed in Bessie's neck. "You know, I had these two nephews once – a pair of knuckleheads who got sucked into some shady dealings, against my advice. When it all exploded in their face, they came to me, begging for help. You know what I did?"

Fluttershy cocked her head, a thin curtain of hair falling over one eye.

"Nothing. Because that was their problem, their business, their mess to clean up. My hands were clean. Do you understand me? We are allresponsible for our own messes. Intervening in someone else's life does nothing to help them. You just deprive them of a learning experience, and you make them all the weaker for it."

"That's a very interesting philosophy," said Fluttershy. "And I understand your meaning. Self-reliance is important; I've tried my best to make Zephyr understand that, actually."

"Then why go to all these lengths for him?"

"Because I also believe that everypony deserves a second chance. Because Zephyr has grown in leaps and bounds, and is leading the kind of life I always knew he was capable of living. I've seen him at his lowest. I've seen him deal with adversity. And I've seen him overcome all of that, and I am so proud of him." Her eyes narrowed, and her face darkened, into a commanding, authoritative Stare.

"And I refuse to let his life be destroyed because of one mistake that he made in his past."

To her amazement, Bessie blinked. Then she started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You," said Bessie. "Or, rather, this situation I'm in with you. Your meekness is legendary, Fluttershy. When Je T'aime gave me your invitation... I was expecting a pony I could stampede all over."

A chuckle of her own broke through Fluttershy's dark mood. "I've been working on my assertiveness."

"It shows." Bessie sighed and smiled sadly. "But I'm afraid we're at a deadlock here. Zephyr can't break faith me, and I refuse to forgive his debt."

"Oh, I'd never ask you to forgive his debt."

Bessie's face blanked.

"I don't think that Zephyr's mistake should ruin his life, but I don't think he should escape responsibility for it either. I love my brother, and I want to help him. But 'helping' doesn't mean 'making his problems go away for him.'"

Bessie chewed that over. "Wouldn't tattling to the Princess qualify as the latter?"

"I told you I don't want to do that. That's just how far I'm willing to go."

Bessie chuckled and shook her head. "Who knew a mare named 'Fluttershy' would have a will of iron tucked away under all that cutesy exterior?"

"Funny you should mention that; I know another minotaur who learned that lesson from me once." Fluttershy stretched out in her chair, unfurled her wings, and floated over to the tea kettle. "Now, I'm going to go freshen up this tea, and get a broom to sweep up that broken cup, and when I'm done... let's talk a little bit about interest rates"

---

"I can't believe you!" Zephyr fumed, his words slurred slightly by the dustpan in his mouth. "You talked to her for three hours yesterday, and I-I'm still in the hole! What the heck, sis?"

"Fluttershy, Garbage Pony is making noises again," Discord yawned, snoozing in the salon chair.

"What are you even doing?" Zephyr snapped at Discord. "Couldn't you just snap your fingers and fix this place up in a jiffy?"

"Easily," said Discord, smacking his lips. He leaned his head back over the chair's armrest, and smirked at Zephyr upside-down. "But that would deprive you of a very important lesson in self-reliance, right Fluttershy?"

The siblings were in Zephyr's salon, working to clear the mess made by Strong Arm's thugs. It had taken the better part of the morning to unclog the sink of all the viscous hair-care products poured down its drain, and another half an hour to finish sweeping the dirt from the potted plant Je T'aime had upended. The chair still wouldn't fall, not that it deterred Discord from occupying it for a siesta.

Fluttershy swept a pile of dust into Zephyr's pan and leaned the push broom against her shoulder. "You know, most ponies in your position would be very grateful for the deal I got for you."

"Oh yes, thank you, Fluttershy; [i]fifteen[/i ]percent of my monthly income is such an improvement over fifty." Zephyr tsked and dumped out the dustpan in the trash.

Fluttershy stared flatly at her brother. "Um. It is. Between that, and the general reduction in the amount you owe, it's a very, very big improvement."

"Oh, and on top of all that, the accumulated interest? Out the proverbial window." Discord nuzzled the armrest and shut his eyes. "You ought to be kissing your sister's hooves, but instead, it's 'waaah, waaah, I can't afford patchouli oil anymore.'"

"Hey! That's... that's a real sacrifice I'm makin'! Don't poke fun at––"

"Zephyr Breeze," Fluttershy interrupted archly.

Zephyr sighed. "Alright, alright." He stepped up to his sister and wrapped his foreleg around her neck, mussing her mane. "Look, I might whine about it, but deep down, I'm grateful, Flutter-Butter. Real grateful. You saved my business, made sure I still had a future. Thanks for not givin' up on me, even when I wanted to."

"I couldn't give up on you even if I wanted to," said Fluttershy, pecking Zephyr on the cheek. She pulled away, ran her hooves through her mane to settle it, and picked up the push broom again.

"Quick question though," said Zephyr. "How'd you get Strong Arm to agree to droppin' all that money from what I owe? 'Cuz I don't really have a head for numbers, but goin' from a hundred grand to just forty-five – that's pretty steep, know what I'm sayin'?"

"Ah!" Fluttershy whirled, beaming. "Well, we had a little bit of a disagreement on how much, specifically, we should reduce the amount owed by. But then I remembered what she said about working off your debt, and while I'd never condone something like indentured servitude..."

The bell in the corner of the saloon door jingled as a pink mare strode confidently inside. She bounced a pair of boxes that were balanced on her hind end, one box atop the other. "Garbage Pony! Services, chop chop!"

"...Free treatments for some of her employees until your debt was settled seemed like an appropriate compromise."

Zephyr's jaw dropped, and he blanched. "You? You?! You want me to work my patented mojo on your mane? After you trashed my shop and dumped out my shampoos and conditioners and mousses and––"

"Garbage Pony needs to stop living in the past – that was all business. No hard feelings. Here, I'll prove it." She stuck a wing under the top box and flipped it through the air; Zephyr caught it in his forelegs.

He eyed the package suspiciously. "What is––"

"Shampoo. Conditioner. Mousse." Je T'aime strode, head held high, up to the seat occupied by Discord. "I cataloged everything that went into your sink, and bought replacements for you. Call it an investment."

Zephyr frowned, jaw working silently. "Well, that's... awful nice of you."

"Like I said. All business. No hard feelings. Ah, and also!" Je T'aime bounced the other box into the air, caught it in her hooves, and held it toward Fluttershy. "A gift from the boss – token of goodwill, or something. Careful, it's fragile."

"Hence why you tossed it in the air just now," Discord mumbled sleepily.

Je T'aime whipped her tail across his nose, and he yelped, glaring at her as he slithered from the chair. "Not. Nice."

"Gonna do something about it?" Je T'aime hopped into the now-vacated seat, spinning in an experimental circle. "Now, Garbage Pony, about my mane – I want it to shine, like sunlight on water, bright enough to blind a pony from a kilometer away. Can you do that?"

"Certainly see what I can do," Zephyr muttered. He opened the box and began inventorying his new hair care products.

Fluttershy settled onto the floor, examining Strong Arm's "token of goodwill." The box was small, plain, and unassuming – brown cardboard with no adornments or labels. Its lid was taped shut. Discord floated up beside her, dug his claw into the tape, and slit the box open, allowing Fluttershy to pull open the lid. Inside was a teacup of pure white porcelain – not quite a dead ringer for the one that had been shattered, but cosmetically quite similar.

Discord examined it closely, then smirked at Fluttershy. "Does she know I fixed the one that you dropped?"

"I don't think so." She glanced up at Discord, looked furtively at Je T'aime, and dropped her voice to a whisper.

"I don't mind if you drink this one."