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The Darkest Hour · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
To Be Dazzling
Adagio and her fellow Dazzlings stopped to catch their breaths. Looking behind them, it didn’t seem like the angry crowd had followed, and they had long left the sound of their jeering behind them.

They could finally stop running.

The three looked at one another, too exhausted for words, and began the long walk home.



It was a quaint little townhouse. Nothing extravagant, but not so small that they felt crowded to the point that they wanted to strangle each other.

Most of the time.

As soon as Adagio opened the door, Aria forced her way past both of them and rushed into her room. She slammed the door behind herself and collapsed against it, eyes squeezed shut.

“Ah-Ah-Ahhh… Ah-Ah-Ack!” She cringed and covered her ears, unable to accept that the terrible noise really was her singing. Her own voice felt sandpaper in her throat. A banging at the door forced her eyes open.

“Aria!” Adagio shouted. “Open this door!”

“Go away!” Aria scowled and pressed on her ears even harder.

“...Aria?” came a much softer voice.

Shaking, Aria finally uncovered her ears.

“Please don’t leave us alone...” Sonata finished.

Aria forced herself onto her feet, opened the door, and prayed she didn’t look as pathetic as the sight before her. Unfortunately, she knew that she did. All of their outfits were wrinkled, dirty, and in a pitiful state of disarray.

Aria left Adagio and Sonata standing in the doorway and sat back down against a wall, staring at the floor in front of her. Sonata turned to Adagio, but all she did was walk past Aria and sit down, too.

“C-come on, girls!” Sonata said as she walked over. “We can still… We could… We…” She collapsed in between them and hugged her knees. “What do we do now, Adagio?”

Adagio looked down at her hands—at the shattered remains of her once-beautiful pendant—and for the first time, she didn’t have an answer.

“Why are you asking me?” She squeezed down on the shards until her hands shook. “I thought my last plan was perfect. I thought I had everything figured out.” Her jaw clenched as her entire body tightened up. “And look what happened. This all happened because… because of my lead.” She brought her knees up and rested her forehead against them.

“...So what?” came a familiar, sarcastic voice.

Adagio’s eyes snapped open as she turned to face the voice. Aria had her signature crooked grin, and Sonata was smiling along with her.

“You’re still Adagio Dazzle,” Sonata agreed, “the most dazzling girl we’ve ever seen.”

Adagio had to take a breath to steady herself. “You really think so?”

“You think we stick around for your charming personality?” Aria asked, sporting that teasing kind of smile that Adagio normally couldn’t stand.

“It’s because we always stay together,” Sonata said. “Adagio, Aria, and Sonata—no matter what.”

Adagio took a deep breath and crawled over enough to hug them both tight around the neck.

“Thank you, girls,” she said softly. “We’ll get through this together.”




Adagio lifted her head from the pillow and took a moment to steady her swimming vision. Her entire body ached, but that was to be expected after the events of the previous night. The prospect of simply collapsing back into her mangled bedspread had its appeal, but she forced herself to her feet and marched to the bedroom door.

An acrid smell assaulted her nose once she opened the door and made her jaw clench. With a huff, she stomped down the stairs and glared daggers at the sight before her. The other Dazzlings were already seated in the dining area. Aria was scowling with her arms crossed while Sonata beamed up at her.

“Morning, Adagio!” she called. “I made to-oast!” She flinched when her attempt to sing out the word made her voice crack, but her smile only wavered for a second.

Aria finally turned her eyes in Adagio’s direction. “Sonata made toast,” she warned.

With fists clenched tight at her sides, Adagio looked at Sonata, her eyes demanding an explanation.

“I-I know I’m not supposed to cook,” Sonata said quickly, hands held up in defense, “but-but Aria always does the cooking and…” She trailed off as she sank into her seat.

Adagio brought a hand to her forehead. “Aria handles the cooking because she’s actually good at it,” she said through clenched teeth.

Someone here has to be,” Aria muttered with a roll of her eyes.

Sonata carefully came out of hiding. Adagio wasn’t screaming at her yet, so that was a start. “After everything that happened,” she continued, “I just thought I’d give Aria a break, you know?”

Adagio redirected her spiteful gaze at the stack of blackened toast sitting on the table. The sight of it caused her nose to curl and made her scowl even more pronounced.

“Uh, well—” Sonata said nervously. “The first time in the toaster didn’t make the bread dark enough, so I put it again, but that made it too dark, so then I tried putting the bread in the other way, but that…” She bit her lip and looked down. “That didn’t help…”

“That’s ‘cause toasters don’t work that way,” Aria said, eyes narrowed.

“Well, they should!” she shot back defensively.

Adagio brought a hand up between them. It was far too early to deal with them bickering with each other. Her hand clenched into a fist as she lowered it.

“Our toaster fits two slices of bread,” she said slowly, trying to keep her voice even. “Why are they all like that?”

Sonata brought her arms up and gave her a sheepish smile. “I didn’t want the first two to feel bad…?”

Adagio forcibly pulled her own chair out and took a seat. “Unbelievable…” she muttered as she served all three of them their own slice of toast. Sonata’s lip quivered as she struggled not to frown, while Aria openly turned her head away in disgust.

Adagio picked up her slice and chomped down on it like she was biting the head off of one of Sonata’s dolls. She glared at the two sitting across from her as she forced herself to chew.

Well?” she demanded. Neither of them made a move, still avoiding eye-contact. “Eat.” She turned to Aria specifically. “Sonata got up early to make us breakfast. Show some appreciation.”

Aria’s entire body clenched in aggravation, but she picked up her toast and took a tentative bite.

“You, too, Sonata,” Adagio said, taking another bite. “You’ve certainly earned it after going through so much trouble.”

Sonata squeaked out a little whimper as nibbled at a corner of her slice.

“What’s wrong?” Adagio said sharply. She drank from a cup of orange juice, hoping to wash the taste out of her mouth. “We’re all eating the breakfast you made for us. Why aren’t you smiling?”

“I-I’m not hungry,” Sonata said, getting up from the table. “I’m gonna go shower.” She sprinted past them before anyone could object and flew up the stairs.

“Fine,” Adagio grumbled, dropping her half-eaten slice of toast. “And don’t use all the hot water!” she yelled after her. Adagio got up and collected the burnt toast before walking to the kitchen. She dumped them into the trash can in a very unceremonious display. “What a waste of bread.”

Aria strolled over and leaned against the counter. “So what’s gonna happen now?” she asked. “I doubt the landlady will keep on letting us stay here for free.”

“We have her convinced we’re the three sweetest girls in the world,” Adagio reminded her. “I’m sure if we pout our lips and bat our eyelashes, she’ll give us any extension we need.” Adagio demonstrated by striking a pose so sickeningly sweet that it made Aria’s stomach turn. Or maybe it was the toast.

“But you’re right,” Adagio admitted, dropping her facade. “I’ve been thinking about it, and we’ll probably have to get… jobs.” She cringed at the word.

“Ugh,” Aria growled.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Adagio gave her a pointed look, but took a calming breath before continuing. “In the meantime, I have an idea that might help us.”

Her words hung in the air, with the memory of her last idea still fresh in their heads. Aria shifted her weight and tilted her head.

“...Want me to make us all pancakes?”

Adagio let out a breath and dropped her head.

“I thought you were never gonna ask…”




Sunset Shimmer walked through the halls of Canterlot High, and for the first time, felt truly at ease about it. The other students had finally stopped giving her distrustful looks because of the events of the Fall Formal. A few even smiled and waved to her. She no longer felt the need to hide herself behind her books and binders. She could finally hold her head up and smile.

Things were starting to look up for—

Whoa!

Sunset was forcibly pulled into a random classroom before she could react. She spun at the sound of the door closing to see Adagio leaning against it.

“You?!” Sunset glared at her. “What are you—”

Adagio held a hand up. “Before you sic your dogs on me, I need to talk to you.”

Sunset’s battle stance relaxed as she took stock of the sight before her. Adagio certainly looked a lot less fierce in her muted hoodie and jeans than she did in her purple-and-gold ensemble. She had her finger hooked into her choker, waiting for some sort of response.

“Where are your friends?” Sunset asked, crossing her arms.

“Oh, they’re around,” Adagio said casually. “I told them to keep a low profile. Right now, it’s just the two of us.”

A chill ran up Sunset’s spine, though she refused to let Adagio notice. “What do you want from me, then?”

Adagio took a deep breath. “I want… I want you to give Sonata and Aria a second chance.”

Sunset’s eyes widened and she suddenly felt too numb to formulate a response.

“You can hate me and blame me for whatever you want,” Adagio continued, “but Sonata—she couldn’t hurt a fly.” Her shoulders slumped. “I mean she really couldn’t. She once almost started crying because she dropped her pencil.”

“R-really?” Sunset finally managed.

Adagio nodded. “She wouldn’t calm down until I sharpened it for her.” She straightened up again. “And Aria—she’s been right there for both of us through everything. If I’d been banished here with only Sonata for company… Ugh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it!” Her fists shook at her sides, but relaxed once she let out a breath.

“The point is,” she said evenly, “everything that happened is my fault. Mine. They don’t deserve to be dragged through the mud with me. And the way I see it, if there’s anyone in this… miserable school who’d be willing to give them a fresh start…” She looked up into Sunset’s eyes. “...It’d be you.”

“I—I don’t—” For the first time since their encounter started, Sunset Shimmer wanted to run. She had been prepared for a fight, but now she wanted to run away as fast as she possibly could. Before her stood a girl who was defeated, vulnerable, and powerless—and that terrified her. Everything she had be trying to escape and forget about was standing right in front of her.

Visibly shaking, Adagio took a step forward and clenched her fists.

“...Please.”




Adagio, Sonata, and Aria followed behind Sunset as she led the way to the music room. Even though the halls were already empty, the Dazzlings stayed huddled together and continued to check every direction as they walked. Once outside the door, Sunset closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

“Are you three ready?” she asked, turning to face them.

“We’ll just need one minute,” Adagio said pleasantly, putting on a smile. She dragged Aria and Sonata out of earshot and pulled them in close by grabbing a fistful of their hoodies.

“Alright, listen, you two,” she whispered harshly. “We’re only getting one chance at this, so don’t screw it up!” She glared at each of them to ensure she had their complete attention. “I am not facing another rainbow of Equestrian magic because you two can’t stop being idiots for five minutes! Understand?”

“Nice to have the old Adagio back,” Aria said flatly.

Adagio’s scowl deepened to the point that a shark would turn tail in fear, but she sighed and let them go.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” She shifted awkwardly. It wasn’t often she found a reason to apologize to them.

“Whatever,” Aria said, straightening out the wrinkles in her hoodie. “Just don’t hug us again.”

“Yeah,” Sonata agreed, “you’re not very good at it.”

Adagio growled, but let it be. “Are you ready, girls?” She could feel Sunset’s eyes on them, and it likely wasn’t in their best interest to keep her waiting.

A noncommittal shrug and a nearly imperceptible nod told her that they were about as ready as they’d ever be.

She turned and led her fellow Dazzlings to Sunset Shimmer and the door that awaited them.




Rainbow Dash idly tuned and strummed her guitar, more to pass the time than out of actual necessity.

“Ugh,” she groaned loudly. The rest of her friends turned at the sound. “Where’s Sunset?”

“It’s not like her to be late,” Fluttershy agreed. “I hope nothing bad’s happened to her.”

“She’s probably just been held up,” Rarity said. “I’m sure she’ll be along shortly.”

“It’s her first rehearsal since joining my—our band.” Rainbow flashed them a sheepish smile. “Shouldn’t she—”

Everyone turned at their attention to the door as it pushed open.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sunset said nervously. “I just, um—” She bit her lip, and it didn’t escape her friends’ notice that she kept looking back at the doorway.

“Somethin’ wrong, Sunset? Applejack asked.

“Uh, well, I didn’t exactly come here alone.” Her words prompted the arrival of three other girls.

“Hi…” Sonata said, waving shyly.

It’s the Dazzlings!” Pinkie screeched.

“Rainbooms! This is not a drill!” Rainbow shouted as they all grabbed their instruments. “One, two, three, four—!”

Wait!” Sunset shouted, flailing her arms. Her friends stared at her blankly as she regained control of her breathing. “Girls, I’d like you to meet Adagio Dazzle, Sonata Dusk, and Aria Blaze.”

“Hi,” Sonata repeated, only to be elbowed by Aria.

“Uh, Sunset?” Applejack said. “What’s goin’ on?”

Sunset sighed. “The Dazzlings are looking for a fresh start.” She stopped to look at the three, each of them shifting uncomfortably. “...And I think we should give it to them.”

What?!” came a chorus of six different voices.

“Don’t you remember what Twilight said?” Sunset said. “They’re just three harmless teenage girls.”

“That may be, darling,” Rarity said slowly, “but after everything they’ve done?” The rest of the Rainbooms nodded in agreement.

“Come on, girls,” Sunset said. “What would Twilight do?”

The girls looked over at the Dazzlings across the room as they reflected on her words. The three had difficulty looking any of them in the eye. In spite of everything that had happened, the Rainbooms couldn’t shake the feeling that those three scared girls looked like they could use some friends.

Pinkie zipped across the room and popped up in front of Sonata.

“Hi!”

“Hi?” Sonata looked at her confused.

“Wanna cookie?” Pinkie reached into her puffy hair pulled out a cookie.

“Uh—yes!” Sonata happily accepted the cookie and took a bite. “Mmmm!”

Pinkie suddenly grabbed her and pulled her away. “I’ve got some games in my bag. Wanna play?” Technically she was asking, but Sonata was barely able to keep up.

“Okay!” she said, laughing as they went.

Aria shook her head and walked over to Rarity.

“Can you believe those two?”

“Oh, I love Pinkie Pie to bits,” Rarity said, “though I do wish she could rein herself in at times.”

“If I know Sonata, they’re only getting started.” The corner of Aria’s lip lifted into a crooked grin as she held out a hand. “Name’s Aria.”

“Rarity.” She gave her a dainty handshake. “A pleasure.”

“I like your hairclip,” Aria said with a vague gesture.

“Why, thank you!” Rarity gushed. “I simply adore your hair ties!”

Adagio looked around with a critical eye. “So, where’s your friend?” she asked. “The purple one with the leg warmers.”

“Twilight ain’t here,” Applejack answered, “but she can be here if there’s any sign of trouble.”

“Hmm.” That was all the acknowledgement Adagio gave her before walking up to Rainbow Dash. “I suppose that means you’re in charge?” she asked, looking her up and down.

“Maybe I am,” Rainbow said fiercely. “What’s it to you?”

The two locked eyes as all other activity in the room slowed to a crawl. Sunset Shimmer bit her lip nervously as they continued to stare each other down, daring the other to flinch—to display even the slightest hint of weakness.

Adagio grinned and turned to Sunset. “So is that guitar just for show, or do you actually know how to handle it?”

Sunset smiled in relief. “Why don’t you three take a seat?” she said, gesturing over to the piano. “We were just about to start rehearsal.”

Sonata bounced up on top of the piano and casually kicked her legs over the edge while Aria found a place to lean against it. Adagio took her place between them, hooked a finger into her choker, and gestured for them to begin.

The Rainbooms got into position and readied their instruments.

“This song is still kinda new,” Rainbow Dash said, “so it might not be as awesome as it could be.”

With that, Applejack started off the song with a strong bassline as the rest of the instruments joined in. Adagio found herself smiling in spite of herself and was surprised to find her foot was tapping. She turned to fellow Dazzlings. Aria was nodding along while Sonata was patting her hands on her lap and bobbing to the beat. They had lost their voices—maybe forever—but Adagio felt a little more at ease knowing a love for music hadn’t left them.

As the music swelled, the Rainbooms began to rise off the ground and exploded in a brilliant flash of light. Adagio’s eyes went wide as pony ears sprouted on their heads and their hair extended to their ankles. She quickly grabbed the other Dazzlings’ hands and squeezed tight, her heart pounding so hard she could barely hear the music anymore.

The song died down as the Rainbooms descended back to the floor and the light faded. They returned to original forms and gave the Dazzlings an expectant look that slowly transitioned to one of concern.

The Dazzlings released each other’s hands and applauded stiffly.

“Are you three okay?” Sunset asked.

“It’s just—” Adagio started. “We thought…”

“You know,” Sonata said nervously, “rainbows and lasers and stuff.”

“We wouldn’t do that to you,” Fluttershy assured them.

“...Twice,” Pinkie added sheepishly.

“That just happens when we play, darling,” Rarity said. “Nothing to trouble yourselves over. We still have time before lunch begins. Would you three perhaps like to hear more?”

With their breathing and heartbeats finally back under control, the Dazzlings were able to smile and nod.

“We’d love to,” Adagio answered.

“Alright,” Rainbow said, smiling. “Fluttershy’s written up a great new song for us.”

“Maybe you three could even help us out with it,” Applejack said with a wink.

Adagio smiled at the prospect as music and light once more filled the room.




Dear Princess Twilight,

Today, the girls and I made some very
—Sunset tapped the pen against her chin, trying to think of a fitting word—unexpected new friends. She looked up from the book and saw Fluttershy watching with a smile as Adagio nervously pet a white bunny rabbit. Adagio jumped when he leapt into her arms, but she happily returned the nuzzle he was giving her.

I’m hoping to properly introduce you to them the next time you visit. I know they’ll really want to meet you when they can.

“You bake?!” Pinkie shouted in excitement. “We should totally trade recipes!”

Aria rolled her eyes, but Sunset was able to catch the corners of her mouth curling upward at the idea.

It’s difficult to say where this new friendship will take us

Sonata watched with rapt attention as Applejack continued pointing through her scrapbook and describing the pictures. She could barely imagine having such a large family, considering she only ever had Adagio and Aria for company.

Sunset smiled at all of her friends, old and new, as she turned back to her book.

but I think the future’s looking bright.
« Prev   16   Next »
#1 ·
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Genre: Character redemption / slice of life

Thoughts: The story didn't really start for me until Sunset got jumped. Everything before that moment just felt like glue to help attach this to the end of Rainbow Rocks. Although I see how it does a little to establish the emotional stakes of this story.

But I think that's ultimately the thing that's missing here: what are the real physical stakes of what's going on? It's hinted at in the beginning that the Dazzlings are at risk, but there isn't a clear connection between their attempt at making friends, and their expressed need to get a job. There was also some perspective weirdness toward the end; it seemed like Aria was consistently our perspective character for most of this, but the perspective seemed to jump around once all the characters got together.

I haven't been overtly positive thus far, but I should be, because there are good things here. The story deserves credit for getting the character voices down well, and for making the interactions between them feel accurate to the show, as well as being heartwarming. I could actually see this as a canon interaction for the most part.

Tier: Needs Work
#2 ·
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I can agree with coffee that the beginning is a little rough, but I thought the middle much stronger; especially the meeting with the Rainbooms just felt as if it flowed naturally and, well, was sweet. The ending isn't anything super new, but still ends on that sweetness.

Basically, this is like a cupcake; light and fluffy but with some deeper flavors that make it a nice snack, even if there's not a ton to chew on yet.

My advice here? This could make a good serialized fic, continuing from the ending here.

Tier : Solid
#3 ·
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Hmm. You’re going to try to make me feel sorry for the sirens, aren’t you? I should warn you, that’s an uphill battle.

… Yeah, I’m not buying any “We’re all in this together” warm fuzzies coming from these three. Not based on what we’ve seen of them in canon. Still, let’s see where the story takes them.

I’ll admit, Sonata’s attempts at untoasting made me laugh.

Yeah, sorry, but this just feels unjustified. Granted, I am definitely not the target audience for siren redemption stories. This story demonstrates why, asking me to accept an entire layer to their characters that was never on display in the film. And, as CoffeMinion noted, there’s a major disconnect between getting rent money and making nice with the Rainbooms. Figure out a way to mesh the two and you’ll be well on your way to improving this.
#4 ·
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I had trouble getting into this story, but that's probably because, for reasons similar to FanOfNotQuiteEverything, I didn't have much interest in the source material. EqG. fics, that is. I never saw Rainbow Rocks, and I don't know anything about the sirens, besides that they have dumb hair.

I dunno, I guess... I liked it? As a story, it made me smile a few times, but I don't have the necessary knowledge or interest in this continuity to fairly judge it on its own merits. I like that, apparently, Dashie has the others run anti-siren drills, and I also found the toast-related shenanigans to be quite amusing. But...

It's like Pinkamina's Wake; I can't fairly judge this story. Sorry, dudefellow. :/
#5 ·
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While I think the story is okay...

Well, that's it. While it had some undeniably enjoyable moments, the story as a whole is only okay. Nothing really stands out to me, but I do see the potential for a grander story being told. As it stands right now, the flow of the story doesn't feel all that natural, but with a little expansion you could turn it into a stronger story of redemption and friendship.
#6 ·
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I'll echo:

Everybody above. The character voices are spot on, but redeeming the sirens needs more room than a short story'll give you, author, especially if you're gonna start from the end of Rainbow Rocks. I'd recommend starting with the moment Adagio grabs Sunset so you can have Adagio summarize what's happened to the trio to bring them here. Or even better, start with Aria and Sonata trying to talk Adagio out of going to the school to see Sunset. Show us in their interactions with each other how they've changed since the end of the movie, and that'll let you sum up the journey that's brought them to this point.

Oh, and I had a little trouble with the POV at the beginning--we seem to start out in Adagio's head, then hop over to Aria's, then hop back to Adagio. Still, a lotta good stuff here.

Mike