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Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace
A brief flash lit the night above a city full of skyscrapers, and Starlight Glimmer tumbled out into the sky, screaming and flailing her limbs as she instinctively sought purchase on a floor that was no longer underhoof.
A curious observation intruded through her terror, and she slowed her movements--though not her descent--as she eyed the crimson military-style coat and pants that she unexpectedly found herself wearing. She blinked, and looked closer, studying their yellow piping and polished, star-shaped buttons. She also felt an unusual sensation on her face, and pressed her hooves up into what felt very much like a beard.
“Zdravstvuyte, comrade,” the beard said.
Starlight shrieked.
“Nyet,” the beard said. “Such fear does not befit the greatest hero of the East! Is bad enough to let these Power Ponies joke about you as ‘The Red Menace.’”
“Where am I?! Why do I have a talking beard?!” Starlight paused, digested the latter piece of information, and scowled. “Seriously, ‘Red Menace?’ I imposed one collectivist economic system, in one village, one time…”
The beard sighed. “You know it is super hero name, and this is Maretropolis, and I am inoplanetnyy simbiont from Horsehead Nebula… now, shall we stop you splatting like nasekomoye on pavement?”
Starlight focused on the ground with rising panic. “Y… yes, please!”
Her head jerked forward as the beard formed long prehensile limbs that lashed out toward the nearest pair of buildings. The beard also snaked down around her neck and wrapped it in a strong brace. Moments later, the limbs gripped the buildings and snapped taut. Starlight’s teeth clenched, and her body juddered, but she soon came to a halt, suspended hundreds of cart-lengths above the bustling streets below.
As Starlight’s adrenaline receded, her mind began working to make sense of her situation. “Spike’s comics,” she said aloud. “He showed me one he said I shouldn’t touch…”
“Comrade,” the beard said, angling Starlight’s head toward an alley far below. She watched a pair of adult ponies with a foal backing slowly into the light cast by a streetlamp. A figure advanced on them, its features indistinct but menacing.
“Vy gotovy?” the beard asked. Starlight felt growing concern for the ponies, and the beard pulled her forward and down. She cried out with surprise at the sudden motion, but soon was overwhelmed by exhilaration as the beard swung her through the forest of skyscrapers at speed, forming new limbs and absorbing old ones as it went.
The beard dropped her down to street-level as they came around the final building separating them from the family. Starlight hit the pavement at a full run, flaring her horn with magic and charging toward the bulky silhouette. “The Red Menace… er, strikes again!” she shouted, closing in on it.
It turned on her, and the light of her horn revealed a predominantly aqua-colored creature whose pony-sized torso and head looked grotesque above its spindly forelegs and long tail. It had no hind legs, but somehow moved by floating just above the ground. It sported a large crest upon its back, as well as an orange mask with bright outlines of yellow that was pulled tight across its head.
“Save us!” the family shouted, retreating further.
The figure threw itself to the ground in front of Starlight. “No, save me! My sisters and I were just trying to get out of the world we were stuck in… next thing I knew, I was back in my original body, but now I don’t know where I am and I can’t get this mask off!” The figure wrung its forehooves. “It talks to me… makes me attack things… doesn’t let me sleep!”
“Another world…” Starlight’s eyes went wide. “Wait, you’re… Sirens! You were banished from Equestria a thousand years ago!”
The figure wrung its forehooves. “Yes, but I’m alone… I’m lost… please, I need help!”
“Spike told me,” Starlight said, mostly to herself. “They defeated the villain, and… the comic let them go.” She looked up at the figure. “I don’t know if I can get myself out unless… I defeat you, too. But… I don’t know if it’ll let us both out if I do that…”
“Please! Get me out, before the mask takes control again!”
“Arrest this prestupnik,” the beard urged.
Starlight swallowed, wondering what Twilight would do. She also wondered if the beard and mask were similar, and how much influence the beard could exert over her.
And that, more than anything, made her unsure what she should choose…
A curious observation intruded through her terror, and she slowed her movements--though not her descent--as she eyed the crimson military-style coat and pants that she unexpectedly found herself wearing. She blinked, and looked closer, studying their yellow piping and polished, star-shaped buttons. She also felt an unusual sensation on her face, and pressed her hooves up into what felt very much like a beard.
“Zdravstvuyte, comrade,” the beard said.
Starlight shrieked.
“Nyet,” the beard said. “Such fear does not befit the greatest hero of the East! Is bad enough to let these Power Ponies joke about you as ‘The Red Menace.’”
“Where am I?! Why do I have a talking beard?!” Starlight paused, digested the latter piece of information, and scowled. “Seriously, ‘Red Menace?’ I imposed one collectivist economic system, in one village, one time…”
The beard sighed. “You know it is super hero name, and this is Maretropolis, and I am inoplanetnyy simbiont from Horsehead Nebula… now, shall we stop you splatting like nasekomoye on pavement?”
Starlight focused on the ground with rising panic. “Y… yes, please!”
Her head jerked forward as the beard formed long prehensile limbs that lashed out toward the nearest pair of buildings. The beard also snaked down around her neck and wrapped it in a strong brace. Moments later, the limbs gripped the buildings and snapped taut. Starlight’s teeth clenched, and her body juddered, but she soon came to a halt, suspended hundreds of cart-lengths above the bustling streets below.
As Starlight’s adrenaline receded, her mind began working to make sense of her situation. “Spike’s comics,” she said aloud. “He showed me one he said I shouldn’t touch…”
“Comrade,” the beard said, angling Starlight’s head toward an alley far below. She watched a pair of adult ponies with a foal backing slowly into the light cast by a streetlamp. A figure advanced on them, its features indistinct but menacing.
“Vy gotovy?” the beard asked. Starlight felt growing concern for the ponies, and the beard pulled her forward and down. She cried out with surprise at the sudden motion, but soon was overwhelmed by exhilaration as the beard swung her through the forest of skyscrapers at speed, forming new limbs and absorbing old ones as it went.
The beard dropped her down to street-level as they came around the final building separating them from the family. Starlight hit the pavement at a full run, flaring her horn with magic and charging toward the bulky silhouette. “The Red Menace… er, strikes again!” she shouted, closing in on it.
It turned on her, and the light of her horn revealed a predominantly aqua-colored creature whose pony-sized torso and head looked grotesque above its spindly forelegs and long tail. It had no hind legs, but somehow moved by floating just above the ground. It sported a large crest upon its back, as well as an orange mask with bright outlines of yellow that was pulled tight across its head.
“Save us!” the family shouted, retreating further.
The figure threw itself to the ground in front of Starlight. “No, save me! My sisters and I were just trying to get out of the world we were stuck in… next thing I knew, I was back in my original body, but now I don’t know where I am and I can’t get this mask off!” The figure wrung its forehooves. “It talks to me… makes me attack things… doesn’t let me sleep!”
“Another world…” Starlight’s eyes went wide. “Wait, you’re… Sirens! You were banished from Equestria a thousand years ago!”
The figure wrung its forehooves. “Yes, but I’m alone… I’m lost… please, I need help!”
“Spike told me,” Starlight said, mostly to herself. “They defeated the villain, and… the comic let them go.” She looked up at the figure. “I don’t know if I can get myself out unless… I defeat you, too. But… I don’t know if it’ll let us both out if I do that…”
“Please! Get me out, before the mask takes control again!”
“Arrest this prestupnik,” the beard urged.
Starlight swallowed, wondering what Twilight would do. She also wondered if the beard and mask were similar, and how much influence the beard could exert over her.
And that, more than anything, made her unsure what she should choose…
Huh, not sure how to take this one. It starts off as a fun-fueled little scene with Starlight and her talking beard—something that distinctly lends itself towards comedy and genuinely made me laugh—but then pulls a 180 at the very end, closing on a morally ambiguous choice that has some pretty dark implications. It gave me some pretty severe tonal whiplash, and the fact that it's not actually resolved doesn't help. I will give it credit for a pretty interesting interpretation of the prompt, but that's about all I can necessarily praise it for.
It's well-written, but it just tries to be too many things at once and can't necessarily pick one. I also would've liked a bit more set-up for the ridiculous scenario, but I get that it's a minific, so I can let that slide. All in all, interesting but somewhat disappointing.
It's well-written, but it just tries to be too many things at once and can't necessarily pick one. I also would've liked a bit more set-up for the ridiculous scenario, but I get that it's a minific, so I can let that slide. All in all, interesting but somewhat disappointing.
I'm confused if this is Sonata or Adagio there. I mean, she acts like Sonata but it describes a more Adagio...oh, that's just the mask.
And the title makes way more sense now, suddenly.
There is some sillyness in this, and while I grinned a little, no giggles were had as of yet. Of course, it is also 4 AM and my head hurts, so that interferes with enjoyment.
I think the problem for me is this feels incomplete as of yet, and needs to grow to really thrive.
And the title makes way more sense now, suddenly.
There is some sillyness in this, and while I grinned a little, no giggles were had as of yet. Of course, it is also 4 AM and my head hurts, so that interferes with enjoyment.
I think the problem for me is this feels incomplete as of yet, and needs to grow to really thrive.
This is good, but as already stated it will work better as the first few pages of something longer. The characters deserve an honest chance to try to work this problem out.
I’m with Starlight. She wasn’t a communist, she was a cult leader. There were collectivist aspects to Our Town, but the central theme was twisted, childhood trauma-induced philosophy, not any political agenda. Oh well, that’s on the magic comic’s closest-fit algorithm.
Also, what’s with Power Pony comics and prehensile hair?
This is certainly a fascinating scenario, but sadly, it’s too big for the word limit. Thus it stops rather than ends. It’s a shame; this has the makings of a fantastic story, even if there are shades of Sonata Dusk apologism. (Assuming she’s not playing Starlight, which is certainly possible.) And I can actually see the prompt connection: The prompt certainly describes communism, and thus the Red Menace.
In all, while I’d love to see this expanded, I can’t rank it highly as it currently is.
Also, what’s with Power Pony comics and prehensile hair?
This is certainly a fascinating scenario, but sadly, it’s too big for the word limit. Thus it stops rather than ends. It’s a shame; this has the makings of a fantastic story, even if there are shades of Sonata Dusk apologism. (Assuming she’s not playing Starlight, which is certainly possible.) And I can actually see the prompt connection: The prompt certainly describes communism, and thus the Red Menace.
In all, while I’d love to see this expanded, I can’t rank it highly as it currently is.
Ah Starlight the Jim Jones of Equestria. It's not a bad little story that could fit into an episodic series in which Starlight as the Red Menace (which really should make her the villain with a name like menace) has to defeat super villains. I think that on a structural stand point it might have been funny if it had begun with a super friends reference (MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE) type of thing and ended with a cliffhanger telling us to tune in next week or something.
Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace: A Retrospective: Attack of the Colons
I took a couple of risks here. First, of course, was trying to cram ~4000+ words of story into a 750-word package, which is never a good idea. There came a point where I realized there was no way to pull this off within the word limit, but I didn't have time to either backtrack or write something different, so I tried and ultimately failed to stick a landing with what I had. I suppose in the end I don't regret the attempt, and I think it'll turn out much better with a higher word count.
The second risk was... well, given the subject matter, I'm about 90% sure that a couple people knew I wrote this from the get-go. If you're wondering WTF I'm talking about, I'll leave you with a link to a crackfic which was praised by no less than Present Perfect, and which looms large in my tiny little corner of FimFiction. Here's also a Youtube reading I did of that fic. The tl;dr is that I'm riffing on some very familiar themes here, so I needed to be careful not to out myself any more than I already had by writing this in the first place.
So in summary, thanks to everyone who read and commented on it! The response people gave this exceeded my expectations, and it bolsters my confidence that this'll end up being expanded to a full-length story. I may have even commissioned some cover art for it, which I swear I never do...
(Edit: how did I not see the potential SW ep.2 joke sooner. :facehoof: )