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Just submitted something for the first time ever, hooray! Been lurking around this place long enough, I figured it's high time I actually contribute.
Huh, not sure how to take this one. It starts off as a fun-fueled little scene with Starlight and her talking beard—something that distinctly lends itself towards comedy and genuinely made me laugh—but then pulls a 180 at the very end, closing on a morally ambiguous choice that has some pretty dark implications. It gave me some pretty severe tonal whiplash, and the fact that it's not actually resolved doesn't help. I will give it credit for a pretty interesting interpretation of the prompt, but that's about all I can necessarily praise it for.
It's well-written, but it just tries to be too many things at once and can't necessarily pick one. I also would've liked a bit more set-up for the ridiculous scenario, but I get that it's a minific, so I can let that slide. All in all, interesting but somewhat disappointing.
It's well-written, but it just tries to be too many things at once and can't necessarily pick one. I also would've liked a bit more set-up for the ridiculous scenario, but I get that it's a minific, so I can let that slide. All in all, interesting but somewhat disappointing.
>>horizon
Agreed on pretty much everything. Whenever I've finished reading one of these stories, if the prompt use wasn't obvious I'll think about it from every angle I can, seeking even the most remote possible interpretation. Only on stories where I literally can't see any inkling of the prompt (I think that was only one, maybe two) will I factor it into my score—and even then I'm hesitant. As far as I'm concerned, the write-off should be a place that promotes good storytelling and writing ability over anything else. Prompt adherence is typically a very minimal factor in that, especially given how many ways a prompt can be interpreted, usually.
As for the five stories you're stuck on, I've looked into them and given my best interpretation of where I think the prompt comes into play.
#18, Sage Advice: I'm as lost as you are—I even commented as such when I first read it. On second consideration, maybe the idea is that princesses typically have a cushy, easygoing lifestyle where everything is handed to them on a silver platter, and Pinkie being a ruthless dungeon master and cutting them no slack is meant to be an opposition to that stereotype. That's the best I can do.
#25, Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace: In this one, Starlight Glimmer literally asks herself "What would Twilight do?" leading me to think that that's where the prompt lies. Twilight isn't there to call the shot, so Starlight has to figure it out on her own without the inclusion of the princess' input.
#27, Plush Pony: Ehh, this one's a tough call. Maybe it's supposed to be that the plush versions of the princesses seem so artificial and perfect compared to what the main characters expect of the real princesses, leading to the core conversation. So, like, while the princess plushies are literally there, the embodiment of actual princesshood isn't included.
#28, The Times They Are a-Changin': I've got two theories on this one. First, maybe Twi is feeling left out as everyone else in town simply rolls with the big, new corporation that's opened up and she's the only one trying to hold on to the past. Second, maybe it's a metaphor for how all those princess fairy tales always have a "happily ever after" whereas in the real world things are constantly changing, and no happiness is quite "ever after." On second thought, maybe that's sorta what Plush Pony was getting at too. Huh.
#47, Terms and Conditions: I honestly have no real idea. The only link I see is in the title itself, since terms and conditions on things like toys and other products often list "[blank] not included." My guess is that the author got the title from the prompt and then extrapolated the idea of terms and conditions into a literal manifestation of thesaurusitis. It's kinda clever when I think of it like that, honestly.
Also, I don't really have any qualms with how you categorized the stories, but I did notice that four non-disqualified stories were absent from any category for seemingly no reason. Specifically these stories are:
#08, Everypony loves order, right?
#42, Equestria Girls*
#50, An opportunity for improvement
#63, Burden of the Crystal Princess.
Just wondering if you left those out on purpose, by accident, or if I'm just missing them somewhere in the list—they're all in the second list where it's categorized by princess use (except for #50 again).
Anyway, fun little discussion/analysis/thingamabob. Thanks for sharing!
Agreed on pretty much everything. Whenever I've finished reading one of these stories, if the prompt use wasn't obvious I'll think about it from every angle I can, seeking even the most remote possible interpretation. Only on stories where I literally can't see any inkling of the prompt (I think that was only one, maybe two) will I factor it into my score—and even then I'm hesitant. As far as I'm concerned, the write-off should be a place that promotes good storytelling and writing ability over anything else. Prompt adherence is typically a very minimal factor in that, especially given how many ways a prompt can be interpreted, usually.
As for the five stories you're stuck on, I've looked into them and given my best interpretation of where I think the prompt comes into play.
#18, Sage Advice: I'm as lost as you are—I even commented as such when I first read it. On second consideration, maybe the idea is that princesses typically have a cushy, easygoing lifestyle where everything is handed to them on a silver platter, and Pinkie being a ruthless dungeon master and cutting them no slack is meant to be an opposition to that stereotype. That's the best I can do.
#25, Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace: In this one, Starlight Glimmer literally asks herself "What would Twilight do?" leading me to think that that's where the prompt lies. Twilight isn't there to call the shot, so Starlight has to figure it out on her own without the inclusion of the princess' input.
#27, Plush Pony: Ehh, this one's a tough call. Maybe it's supposed to be that the plush versions of the princesses seem so artificial and perfect compared to what the main characters expect of the real princesses, leading to the core conversation. So, like, while the princess plushies are literally there, the embodiment of actual princesshood isn't included.
#28, The Times They Are a-Changin': I've got two theories on this one. First, maybe Twi is feeling left out as everyone else in town simply rolls with the big, new corporation that's opened up and she's the only one trying to hold on to the past. Second, maybe it's a metaphor for how all those princess fairy tales always have a "happily ever after" whereas in the real world things are constantly changing, and no happiness is quite "ever after." On second thought, maybe that's sorta what Plush Pony was getting at too. Huh.
#47, Terms and Conditions: I honestly have no real idea. The only link I see is in the title itself, since terms and conditions on things like toys and other products often list "[blank] not included." My guess is that the author got the title from the prompt and then extrapolated the idea of terms and conditions into a literal manifestation of thesaurusitis. It's kinda clever when I think of it like that, honestly.
Also, I don't really have any qualms with how you categorized the stories, but I did notice that four non-disqualified stories were absent from any category for seemingly no reason. Specifically these stories are:
#08, Everypony loves order, right?
#42, Equestria Girls*
#50, An opportunity for improvement
#63, Burden of the Crystal Princess.
Just wondering if you left those out on purpose, by accident, or if I'm just missing them somewhere in the list—they're all in the second list where it's categorized by princess use (except for #50 again).
Anyway, fun little discussion/analysis/thingamabob. Thanks for sharing!
That was a rather clever interpretation of the prompt—it definitely kept my interest. And it also poses a really fascinating question about status and culture. All that said, I had a sort of hard time believing that Twilight, or Celestia for that matter, would be approaching this with such an air of levity. I understand that it's a hundred years in the future, so that's plenty of time for their characters to change, but everything about their characters lines up with what I have in my mind except for the levity and nonchalance they approach the subject with.
I'll grant that it was a very interesting read, and pretty well-written to boot, but I just can't reconcile it with the characters of Twilight and Celestia, personally. Maybe that's just me, though.
I'll grant that it was a very interesting read, and pretty well-written to boot, but I just can't reconcile it with the characters of Twilight and Celestia, personally. Maybe that's just me, though.
>>ChappedPenguinLips
Thanks, and good luck to you too! I got pretty lucky with this prompt in that I've had an idea in the back of my head for a long time that lines up nicely with it—nice to have an excuse to actually write it. I'm sure you'll figure something out!
Thanks, and good luck to you too! I got pretty lucky with this prompt in that I've had an idea in the back of my head for a long time that lines up nicely with it—nice to have an excuse to actually write it. I'm sure you'll figure something out!
This story needs some polishing, both in the mechanical department and plotwise. There were a few typos scattered throughout, several jarring tense changes, and too much telling rather than showing. A little bit of proofreading and editing would elevate this story nicely.
Even disregarding that, though, I'm just really not a fan of this portrayal of Celestia. She comes across as a narcissistic sociopath with a god complex which, while definitely a possibility for someone of her considerable age and status, doesn't line up with the Celestia depicted in the show at all. It feels more like an attack on Ms. Harshwhinny through Celestia's voice than a thoughtful character piece. Moreover, why is Harshwhinny threatening to ban princesses from the Equestria Games to begin with? Nothing in the episodes centered around the Games seems to justify that line of reasoning, and the whole plot more or less makes no sense without that crucial bit.
In the end, I'm really just not too sure what this was trying to accomplish. I apologize if this came off as mean-spirited—I still give you major props for coming up with something period—but this just doesn't work, in my opinion.
Even disregarding that, though, I'm just really not a fan of this portrayal of Celestia. She comes across as a narcissistic sociopath with a god complex which, while definitely a possibility for someone of her considerable age and status, doesn't line up with the Celestia depicted in the show at all. It feels more like an attack on Ms. Harshwhinny through Celestia's voice than a thoughtful character piece. Moreover, why is Harshwhinny threatening to ban princesses from the Equestria Games to begin with? Nothing in the episodes centered around the Games seems to justify that line of reasoning, and the whole plot more or less makes no sense without that crucial bit.
In the end, I'm really just not too sure what this was trying to accomplish. I apologize if this came off as mean-spirited—I still give you major props for coming up with something period—but this just doesn't work, in my opinion.
The sheer ridiculousness of this concept brought a big, dumb grin to my face. It was cute, the description and character of Draco were both well done and interesting, and I really enjoy the headcanon of Luna being the mother of these star-beasts, or whatever you wanna call them. It was also a rather unique interpretation of the prompt, and an extremely obvious one, in retrospect. My only real complaint would be that Twilight seemed a smidgen removed from her character, coming across as a bit too ornery overall, but that's a nitpick more than anything.
It's simple, succinct, and show-tone. I really enjoyed this one. Great job!
It's simple, succinct, and show-tone. I really enjoyed this one. Great job!
D'aw, that was really cute. Pretty good characterization of both Windy and Twilight, too—although Windy being an Apple kinda threw me, with her wings and all. Twilight sounded like herself, but wiser, which is fitting for the far-flung future this is set in. As for the plot itself, if you can even call it a plot necessarily, was nice enough, just not very innovative. I could have predicted where Twilight's explanation would go from the title alone, practically.
Still, no major downfalls. The link to the prompt is a bit weak, but it's still there, so kudos.
Still, no major downfalls. The link to the prompt is a bit weak, but it's still there, so kudos.
Hey, 19th ain't half-bad for my first time in one of these—I'll take it! I also have the distinguished honor(?) of having the second-most controversial story in the finals, which admittedly surprises me. I didn't know how well people would take to this concept, and I guess it varies pretty wildly from person to person.
I've had this story idea in the back of my head for a while now. For those who are still confused by it, the basic premise is that King Sombra, before he was defeated way in the past, placed some sort of curse on the Crystal Heart that prevented it from functioning on its own power. Princess Amore, the first ruler of the Crystal Empire, effectively sacrificed herself by going into permanent stasis within the Crystal Heart, powering it with her own life force and magical essence. When Cadance took over leadership of the Empire, she discovered Princess Amore within the heart, very weak from having maintained the Crystal Heart's magic for over a thousand years. Princess Amore told Cadance that, when the time came and Amore could no longer support the Crystal Heart, Cadance would have to take up her mantle in order to protect the Empire. Amore still had enough strength to uphold the Heart for several decades, theoretically giving Cadance plenty of time to enjoy her life for that time. When Flurry Heart shattered the Crystal Heart, however, that strained Amore's power immensely, essentially fast-tracking the process and giving Cadance very little time with which to enjoy her last moments of free life.
Now, fitting all of that into a minific was simply out of the question—and perhaps it was folly on my part to stick with the concept at all, knowing that it would likely be confusing in such a short space—so I did my best to show one of the more poignant moments in that story arc as well as giving subtle hints at what exactly had happened to lead up to this moment. Obviously it worked for some, but not for others.
I'm tempted to write this all up in a long-form story, but that might interfere with some other planned stories I have going on the back burner. Still, it would be fun, interesting, and would allow me to give a more complete story arc to this concept as well as answer some questions that would no doubt arise from such a concept (Why did Amore have to maintain the Crystal Heart even while the Empire was in exile? Could Sombra's curse somehow be removed from the Heart, eliminating the need for Amore/Cadance to uphold its power? Couldn't the citizens of the Empire simply relocate themselves across Equestria, allowing the Empire to fall so that Cadance could maintain her freedom? Et cetera). For now, though, I'll settle for answering some of the issues mentioned here.
>>Pastoral >>Misternick >>Orbiting_kettle >>FanOfMostEverything >>georg
Thank you all for your feedback! Hopefully the little blurb above helps to elucidate some of the meaning and details that I couldn't work into such a short space. I also didn't realize that Princess Amore was such a niche character—I figured she was fairly recognizable, but I guess not everyone keeps up with the comics, so that's my bad for adding a potential extra layer of confusion for some of you.
>>Not_A_Hat
That's definitely not the feeling I was trying to evoke, and I apologize if it came across that way for you. I was trying to get across an ever-present feeling of dread—the idea that, in the back of her mind, Cadance knew what was coming but was trying not to acknowledge it until it was absolute. The revelation wasn't meant to catch her, or the reader, entirely off-guard. And I certainly didn't want to leave the reader in the dark like that. If you have any suggestions on how I could avoid such a pitfall in the future, I'd love to hear it! Always looking for ways to improve.
I've had this story idea in the back of my head for a while now. For those who are still confused by it, the basic premise is that King Sombra, before he was defeated way in the past, placed some sort of curse on the Crystal Heart that prevented it from functioning on its own power. Princess Amore, the first ruler of the Crystal Empire, effectively sacrificed herself by going into permanent stasis within the Crystal Heart, powering it with her own life force and magical essence. When Cadance took over leadership of the Empire, she discovered Princess Amore within the heart, very weak from having maintained the Crystal Heart's magic for over a thousand years. Princess Amore told Cadance that, when the time came and Amore could no longer support the Crystal Heart, Cadance would have to take up her mantle in order to protect the Empire. Amore still had enough strength to uphold the Heart for several decades, theoretically giving Cadance plenty of time to enjoy her life for that time. When Flurry Heart shattered the Crystal Heart, however, that strained Amore's power immensely, essentially fast-tracking the process and giving Cadance very little time with which to enjoy her last moments of free life.
Now, fitting all of that into a minific was simply out of the question—and perhaps it was folly on my part to stick with the concept at all, knowing that it would likely be confusing in such a short space—so I did my best to show one of the more poignant moments in that story arc as well as giving subtle hints at what exactly had happened to lead up to this moment. Obviously it worked for some, but not for others.
I'm tempted to write this all up in a long-form story, but that might interfere with some other planned stories I have going on the back burner. Still, it would be fun, interesting, and would allow me to give a more complete story arc to this concept as well as answer some questions that would no doubt arise from such a concept (Why did Amore have to maintain the Crystal Heart even while the Empire was in exile? Could Sombra's curse somehow be removed from the Heart, eliminating the need for Amore/Cadance to uphold its power? Couldn't the citizens of the Empire simply relocate themselves across Equestria, allowing the Empire to fall so that Cadance could maintain her freedom? Et cetera). For now, though, I'll settle for answering some of the issues mentioned here.
>>Pastoral >>Misternick >>Orbiting_kettle >>FanOfMostEverything >>georg
Thank you all for your feedback! Hopefully the little blurb above helps to elucidate some of the meaning and details that I couldn't work into such a short space. I also didn't realize that Princess Amore was such a niche character—I figured she was fairly recognizable, but I guess not everyone keeps up with the comics, so that's my bad for adding a potential extra layer of confusion for some of you.
>>Not_A_Hat
That's definitely not the feeling I was trying to evoke, and I apologize if it came across that way for you. I was trying to get across an ever-present feeling of dread—the idea that, in the back of her mind, Cadance knew what was coming but was trying not to acknowledge it until it was absolute. The revelation wasn't meant to catch her, or the reader, entirely off-guard. And I certainly didn't want to leave the reader in the dark like that. If you have any suggestions on how I could avoid such a pitfall in the future, I'd love to hear it! Always looking for ways to improve.
Been a while since I did anything in the way of original fiction. Seems like a good opportunity to try it out again!