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My Little Pony
Princess Twilight Sparkle smiled regally and clapped her hooves together as her last petitioners bowed and stepped away from her throne.
“The Twilight Court is now closed. I thank you all for your attendance, my little ponies.” Her voice was warm and pleasant as she dismissed her smiling subjects and stepped down from her dais.
Her pace was slow and sedate as she left her throne room. Not to retain Royal dignity so much as to ensure she didn’t leave her shadow behind.
“Thank you so much for letting me watch the Court, Princess! I learned a lot!” The high pitched voice of Twilight’s current faithful student pipped up beside her. The little orange filly’s wings practically hummed as she rushed to catch up.
Twilight looked down at her with a smile.
“It was no trouble at all, my faithful student.”
Windy Seed beamed at her title, basking in the princess’s presence. But Twilight could tell something was on her mind.
“Was there something you wanted to ask me Windy?”
The little filly scrunched up her muzzle in indecision before finally nodding.
“Princess, why do you call everypony your little ponies?” She asked curiously
“Well, I wouldn’t say I call everypony that.” Twilight replied with a small smile. Windy fluffed her wings and rolled her eyes.
“Everypony not including the princesses.” She huffed. Twilight giggled softly.
“It would sound silly to call them that, wouldn’t it?” She nodded and smiled. “But it’s a very good question, my student. One I was afraid to ask my mentor when I was your age.”
“Really?” The filly looked up at her with shocked eyes. “You were afraid to ask Princess Celestia?”
“Yes, really! So I had to figure it out for myself.” She nodded, then leaned down and whispered. “And it took me years to do so.”
Windy’s eyes went wide. “No way!”
“Yes way.” Twilight nodded seriously. “Would you like to know what I learned?”
“Yes please, princess!” Windy practically vibrated with curiosity.
Whether by luck or skilled timing, the pair was passing a stained glass window comprised of six well-known cutie marks. Twilight sat down, beckoning Windy to do the same.
“You remember the stories of the Element Bearers, right Windy?”
“Of course princess! Everypony knows them! They’re heroes!” The little pegasus wiggled excitedly. “I’m de-scented from Applejack! I’m an Apple!”
“Descended, sweetie.” Twilight chuckled. “And yes you are.” She turned her head back to the window, seeing not colored glass and light, but what it represented.
“I remember them as more than heroes though. More than friends, even. To me, they were family.” She smiled softly, lost in memories. “I’ll never forget the first time I held Rainbow and Soarin’s daughter, or how they introduced me as her Auntie. I swore then and there that I would watch over and look after her as if she were my own. I suppose she was the first of ‘my’ little ponies.”
“The first?” Windy sidled closer, tilting her head curiously.
“Yes, the first. Because soon enough my other friends started families of their own, with their own special someponies and little bundles of joy. More family for me to love and watch over.” She sighed wistfully.
“Even after my friends passed on, their families, my families remained. And grew. And grew. And GREW, spreading out across Equestria.” She smiled and booped her student’s nose with a wingtip. “Especially the Apple family.”
Windy just giggled, enraptured by the story.
“I had promised to look after all of my little ponies. But there were so many of them, so spread out… And then I finally realized something.”
“What did you realize Princess?” Windy’s whole rear wiggled in excitement as she hung on every word.
“I realized that everypony was my family, and that they were all my little ponies.”
“Huh? Even the ones who aren’t the great-great-great-great-great…” She trailed off in thought. “…Great? Grandchildren of you friends?”
“Even them. Because even if they’re not family now, they might be the special somepony of someone who is. Or their children might. Or their great-great-great-grandchildren. And if they’re going to be family someday, why not treat them all as family today?”
Windy sat very still as she considered this, an adorably thoughtful little frown on her face.
“So you call everypony your little ponies… Because we’re all your family, even if we aren’t just yet?”
Twilight beamed down at her student and draped a wing over her back, snuggling her closer.
“Exactly, my little pony.”
“The Twilight Court is now closed. I thank you all for your attendance, my little ponies.” Her voice was warm and pleasant as she dismissed her smiling subjects and stepped down from her dais.
Her pace was slow and sedate as she left her throne room. Not to retain Royal dignity so much as to ensure she didn’t leave her shadow behind.
“Thank you so much for letting me watch the Court, Princess! I learned a lot!” The high pitched voice of Twilight’s current faithful student pipped up beside her. The little orange filly’s wings practically hummed as she rushed to catch up.
Twilight looked down at her with a smile.
“It was no trouble at all, my faithful student.”
Windy Seed beamed at her title, basking in the princess’s presence. But Twilight could tell something was on her mind.
“Was there something you wanted to ask me Windy?”
The little filly scrunched up her muzzle in indecision before finally nodding.
“Princess, why do you call everypony your little ponies?” She asked curiously
“Well, I wouldn’t say I call everypony that.” Twilight replied with a small smile. Windy fluffed her wings and rolled her eyes.
“Everypony not including the princesses.” She huffed. Twilight giggled softly.
“It would sound silly to call them that, wouldn’t it?” She nodded and smiled. “But it’s a very good question, my student. One I was afraid to ask my mentor when I was your age.”
“Really?” The filly looked up at her with shocked eyes. “You were afraid to ask Princess Celestia?”
“Yes, really! So I had to figure it out for myself.” She nodded, then leaned down and whispered. “And it took me years to do so.”
Windy’s eyes went wide. “No way!”
“Yes way.” Twilight nodded seriously. “Would you like to know what I learned?”
“Yes please, princess!” Windy practically vibrated with curiosity.
Whether by luck or skilled timing, the pair was passing a stained glass window comprised of six well-known cutie marks. Twilight sat down, beckoning Windy to do the same.
“You remember the stories of the Element Bearers, right Windy?”
“Of course princess! Everypony knows them! They’re heroes!” The little pegasus wiggled excitedly. “I’m de-scented from Applejack! I’m an Apple!”
“Descended, sweetie.” Twilight chuckled. “And yes you are.” She turned her head back to the window, seeing not colored glass and light, but what it represented.
“I remember them as more than heroes though. More than friends, even. To me, they were family.” She smiled softly, lost in memories. “I’ll never forget the first time I held Rainbow and Soarin’s daughter, or how they introduced me as her Auntie. I swore then and there that I would watch over and look after her as if she were my own. I suppose she was the first of ‘my’ little ponies.”
“The first?” Windy sidled closer, tilting her head curiously.
“Yes, the first. Because soon enough my other friends started families of their own, with their own special someponies and little bundles of joy. More family for me to love and watch over.” She sighed wistfully.
“Even after my friends passed on, their families, my families remained. And grew. And grew. And GREW, spreading out across Equestria.” She smiled and booped her student’s nose with a wingtip. “Especially the Apple family.”
Windy just giggled, enraptured by the story.
“I had promised to look after all of my little ponies. But there were so many of them, so spread out… And then I finally realized something.”
“What did you realize Princess?” Windy’s whole rear wiggled in excitement as she hung on every word.
“I realized that everypony was my family, and that they were all my little ponies.”
“Huh? Even the ones who aren’t the great-great-great-great-great…” She trailed off in thought. “…Great? Grandchildren of you friends?”
“Even them. Because even if they’re not family now, they might be the special somepony of someone who is. Or their children might. Or their great-great-great-grandchildren. And if they’re going to be family someday, why not treat them all as family today?”
Windy sat very still as she considered this, an adorably thoughtful little frown on her face.
“So you call everypony your little ponies… Because we’re all your family, even if we aren’t just yet?”
Twilight beamed down at her student and draped a wing over her back, snuggling her closer.
“Exactly, my little pony.”
D'aw, that was really cute. Pretty good characterization of both Windy and Twilight, too—although Windy being an Apple kinda threw me, with her wings and all. Twilight sounded like herself, but wiser, which is fitting for the far-flung future this is set in. As for the plot itself, if you can even call it a plot necessarily, was nice enough, just not very innovative. I could have predicted where Twilight's explanation would go from the title alone, practically.
Still, no major downfalls. The link to the prompt is a bit weak, but it's still there, so kudos.
Still, no major downfalls. The link to the prompt is a bit weak, but it's still there, so kudos.
This is definitely headcanon dumpy, but in a way I enjoy. Perhaps it could use a little more show vs tell, but Windy Seed is just so PERKY that it makes a lot of it more joyful all around
The first two sections are redundant. Chuck one of them. This is a waste of resources in a MiniFic round.
There are a lot of other reduplications ("slow/sedate", "asks curiously"…)
There are also problems with punctuation. For example:
Overall, there are a lot of adverbs and descriptions that don't add much to the plot.
For the rest, yeah, this is a head-canon, with little else in it. Contrarily to Morning Sun, Windy Seed comes out to me as really wimpy. She just gobbles Twilight's words like gospel. At least she could've rebelled somewhat and retort this "my little pony" thing was dumb. But right now, she looks like a puppet with little agency, or a hokey means to get your head-canon exposed.
There are a lot of other reduplications ("slow/sedate", "asks curiously"…)
There are also problems with punctuation. For example:
“Everypony not including the princesses.” She huffed.should be “Everypony not including the princesses,” she huffed. Don't use a full stop at the end of a quote if it is followed by a tag, and don't capitalise the first word of your tag.
Windy practically vibrated with curiosity.Wut? :P
Overall, there are a lot of adverbs and descriptions that don't add much to the plot.
For the rest, yeah, this is a head-canon, with little else in it. Contrarily to Morning Sun, Windy Seed comes out to me as really wimpy. She just gobbles Twilight's words like gospel. At least she could've rebelled somewhat and retort this "my little pony" thing was dumb. But right now, she looks like a puppet with little agency, or a hokey means to get your head-canon exposed.
Cute, though Twilight sounds kind of stilted, especially at the start. It’s like she’s deliberately copying every verbal tic in Celestia’s repertoire.
Still, an interesting look at the future and how Twilight will cope with her friends’ passing. I didn’t find it especially infodumpy; this seems to follow logically from what we’ve seen.
Still, an interesting look at the future and how Twilight will cope with her friends’ passing. I didn’t find it especially infodumpy; this seems to follow logically from what we’ve seen.
Cute! Really good concept. Some weird language in places, as others have noted. But if this is headcanon, it's headcanon that works for me in a big way.
Tier: Good Stuff
Tier: Good Stuff
A bit too glurgey for my tastes, but that’s not a reason to downvote. The grammar could use some tightening. (“Was there something you wanted to ask me[,] Windy?”)
>>FanOfMostEverything
Some of the stilted language comes from word over-repetition. "Her," in particular, appears 36 times -- nearly 5% of the entire story is the word 'her.' It's in the first sentence four times alone.
Other parts are plain telly: "Windy just giggled, enraptured by the story."
Some of the stilted language comes from word over-repetition. "Her," in particular, appears 36 times -- nearly 5% of the entire story is the word 'her.' It's in the first sentence four times alone.
Other parts are plain telly: "Windy just giggled, enraptured by the story."