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That Which Remains
Her helmet was the first to go. It clanged against oakwood, rolling from sideguard to sideguard before stopping. The silver material shone a richer, purplish hue in the bit of canopy-dappled moonlight that managed to hit the Everfree floor. Was that a sparkle she had seen emanating from within its blackened hollow?
Luna grimaced, and threw the crescent-crested breastplate in next. “Good riddance.” Her head turned though her gaze remained on the lengthy wooden box at her hooves. “Tia? The shoes, if thou wouldst.”
Golden light fell upon the clearing. Celestia stepped forward, her wings ruffling. “Luna, are you sure this is what you really want?”
“But of course. Why wouldst I not?”
Celestia's shoes padded about in the earth, attempting to find comfort in a wholly uncomfortable place. “It seems very much like denial, don't you think? Very much like harbored resentment.”
“And? What if it be true? I have reason to resent her… it… do I not?” Luna huffed, flicking her mane out of her eyes—Galaxies died in her heavenly locks. “Come, then. Bring forth its shoes.”
Celestia frowned. “This isn't at all what I agreed to.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t.” The white alicorn stomped her hoof. “I agreed to help you bury this armor only if you were first willing to reflect on what it meant to bury it.”
Luna stared down at the haphazardly strewn metal in its elaborately carved coffin. “I have meditated on this matter. Now, fling them all in.”
“Luna…”
“Celestia, I haven’t the patience this evening. I have yet to take up post in the dreamscape, and I shan’t allow ponies’ slumber to suffer for thy sentimentality over that which no longer hast anything to do with me.”
“Luna, Nightmare Moon does have to do with you.”
The night princess reared up, her horn and eyes glowing white. Hooves crashed down into the earth with a thunderous roar. “No! Nightmare Moon is dead! Nothing of her is left, and now I wish to bury the remnants.” She snatched up Nightmare Moon’s shoes into her magic, chucked them into the coffin, and slammed the lid shut. The box’s wood splintered around the edges. Luna glared down at it, panting.
Tentatively, Celestia parted her lips. “Five hundred years.”
“What?” shot the moon princess.
“I waited five hundred years before I collected your royal crown and crest, and buried you.” Luna turned to face her. “I was so certain, Luna, that you were lost to me forever; that even if your body returned, my sister wouldn’t.” Her front shoes clinked together. “It was so painful to hold out hope. So, I buried you. I never realized that it would continue to hurt me because I was burying a piece of myself, regardless of what you had become.”
Luna gawked. “Thou… Thou didst hold procession for me?”
Celestia chuckled to herself, shaking her head. “It was just me, alone, amongst the Everfree. Just as we are now. I took all of your royal accoutrements, and buried them just like this before realizing there was no burying you, Luna.” She bit her lip. “I think the reason you wish to bury Nightmare Moon is because you are also afraid. You’re afraid that she still lingers somewhere inside.”
“Tia, don't," Luna said, turning away.
“But has no good come from her presence at all?” the white alicorn pressed. “Wasn’t it Nightmare Moon who brought us closer than ever before? Wasn’t it she who started our dearest Twilight and her friends down their road toward self-discovery? I have known Nightmare Moon, Luna, and I do not wish to forget her. I wish to forever remember her pain so that I might never hurt you that way again, and so that she might never hurt anypony else.”
“Again…” Luna murmured, her eyes fixed upon polished wood. “Tia, that is what I fear. The temper, bouts of gloominess, mischief-making—I feel them all, even now. They live within me still, lurking.”
“And yet they are still all qualities that I love about you, Luna. Any different, and you wouldn’t be you.” Celestia advanced to her sister’s side. “It is our choices that we should fear. Not our feelings. Those are very much valid. Those are truly part of us.” She smiled, nudging her sister in the shoulder. “Please, let's choose to remember that... this together.”
The corners of Luna's lips curled upward ever so slightly. The edge of the splintered coffin cracked open, glowing softly in blue and gold.
“Alright. Let's.”
Luna grimaced, and threw the crescent-crested breastplate in next. “Good riddance.” Her head turned though her gaze remained on the lengthy wooden box at her hooves. “Tia? The shoes, if thou wouldst.”
Golden light fell upon the clearing. Celestia stepped forward, her wings ruffling. “Luna, are you sure this is what you really want?”
“But of course. Why wouldst I not?”
Celestia's shoes padded about in the earth, attempting to find comfort in a wholly uncomfortable place. “It seems very much like denial, don't you think? Very much like harbored resentment.”
“And? What if it be true? I have reason to resent her… it… do I not?” Luna huffed, flicking her mane out of her eyes—Galaxies died in her heavenly locks. “Come, then. Bring forth its shoes.”
Celestia frowned. “This isn't at all what I agreed to.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t.” The white alicorn stomped her hoof. “I agreed to help you bury this armor only if you were first willing to reflect on what it meant to bury it.”
Luna stared down at the haphazardly strewn metal in its elaborately carved coffin. “I have meditated on this matter. Now, fling them all in.”
“Luna…”
“Celestia, I haven’t the patience this evening. I have yet to take up post in the dreamscape, and I shan’t allow ponies’ slumber to suffer for thy sentimentality over that which no longer hast anything to do with me.”
“Luna, Nightmare Moon does have to do with you.”
The night princess reared up, her horn and eyes glowing white. Hooves crashed down into the earth with a thunderous roar. “No! Nightmare Moon is dead! Nothing of her is left, and now I wish to bury the remnants.” She snatched up Nightmare Moon’s shoes into her magic, chucked them into the coffin, and slammed the lid shut. The box’s wood splintered around the edges. Luna glared down at it, panting.
Tentatively, Celestia parted her lips. “Five hundred years.”
“What?” shot the moon princess.
“I waited five hundred years before I collected your royal crown and crest, and buried you.” Luna turned to face her. “I was so certain, Luna, that you were lost to me forever; that even if your body returned, my sister wouldn’t.” Her front shoes clinked together. “It was so painful to hold out hope. So, I buried you. I never realized that it would continue to hurt me because I was burying a piece of myself, regardless of what you had become.”
Luna gawked. “Thou… Thou didst hold procession for me?”
Celestia chuckled to herself, shaking her head. “It was just me, alone, amongst the Everfree. Just as we are now. I took all of your royal accoutrements, and buried them just like this before realizing there was no burying you, Luna.” She bit her lip. “I think the reason you wish to bury Nightmare Moon is because you are also afraid. You’re afraid that she still lingers somewhere inside.”
“Tia, don't," Luna said, turning away.
“But has no good come from her presence at all?” the white alicorn pressed. “Wasn’t it Nightmare Moon who brought us closer than ever before? Wasn’t it she who started our dearest Twilight and her friends down their road toward self-discovery? I have known Nightmare Moon, Luna, and I do not wish to forget her. I wish to forever remember her pain so that I might never hurt you that way again, and so that she might never hurt anypony else.”
“Again…” Luna murmured, her eyes fixed upon polished wood. “Tia, that is what I fear. The temper, bouts of gloominess, mischief-making—I feel them all, even now. They live within me still, lurking.”
“And yet they are still all qualities that I love about you, Luna. Any different, and you wouldn’t be you.” Celestia advanced to her sister’s side. “It is our choices that we should fear. Not our feelings. Those are very much valid. Those are truly part of us.” She smiled, nudging her sister in the shoulder. “Please, let's choose to remember that... this together.”
The corners of Luna's lips curled upward ever so slightly. The edge of the splintered coffin cracked open, glowing softly in blue and gold.
“Alright. Let's.”
I expected a battle-themed story from the hook, which wasn't a bad start. It did not only not deliver (which wouldn't be that bad if we got to see an equally dramatic scene evolving), but also threw me off with extremely forced, purply language in the very first parargraph. In hindsight, I see it as an attempt at third person limited Luna POV, but it didn't work propperly for me.
I'm not really sold on the idea of keeping it a secret to the reader that Luna's getting rid of Nightmare Moon's armour to burry her once and for all. It adds more confusion than suspense IMO.
I don't really get the title.
The theme of the story is a nice one though, and fits the prompt propperly.
I'm not really sold on the idea of keeping it a secret to the reader that Luna's getting rid of Nightmare Moon's armour to burry her once and for all. It adds more confusion than suspense IMO.
I don't really get the title.
The theme of the story is a nice one though, and fits the prompt propperly.
Aside from a hiccup in the Early Modern Equish ("I wouldst,") a nice read. If Celestia had been this frank and clear with Luna in canon, they might have sidestepped the whole Tantabus issue. Good work.
>>wYvern
The title’s meaning seems to be that which remains of Nightmare Moon, in terms of both the armor and what’s left of Luna as she tries to excise everything that reminds her of the Nightmare from her personality.
>>wYvern
The title’s meaning seems to be that which remains of Nightmare Moon, in terms of both the armor and what’s left of Luna as she tries to excise everything that reminds her of the Nightmare from her personality.
Celestia and Luna bury Nightmare Moon’s armor in the woods.
I thought this was a neat idea for a story, and the overall pathos was a good gesture, but I never actually got emotionally invested in it. Not to say it was bad by any means, but I just didn’t feel quite as invested as I would have liked.
Still, fairly solid.
I thought this was a neat idea for a story, and the overall pathos was a good gesture, but I never actually got emotionally invested in it. Not to say it was bad by any means, but I just didn’t feel quite as invested as I would have liked.
Still, fairly solid.
the night princess
the white alicorn
I realize it's hard to break this habit, and it might not even seem like a big intrusion. But this is Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. Try "Luna" and "Celestia". "She" is better still.
A nice little idea that makes for a sweet moment between sisters. The idea of Celestia not forgetting Nightmare Moon, since it's a part of Luna, is interesting too.
Still, though, to say that Nightmare Moon brought them together because of Twilight...? Bit of a stretch. That was all Celestia's efforts, in my view.
Still, though, to say that Nightmare Moon brought them together because of Twilight...? Bit of a stretch. That was all Celestia's efforts, in my view.
I really liked this story. About the only flaw I can see is that I think it would do better expanded a bit; as is, it feels like it tries to squeeze a lot of thoughtfulness into a very small space.
Also "It is our choices that we should fear. Not our feelings." is such a great line. I may have to steal it.
Also "It is our choices that we should fear. Not our feelings." is such a great line. I may have to steal it.
Very solid! Thoughtful and touching, and with great dialogue and character development. I hope a longer version is in the works – like other reviewers have said, the extra breathing room would be a great benefit. But even so, I’ve ranked this one highly.