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Hervorgeholt (After Paul Celan)
Looking to the left,
It’s the women you notice first.
The black milk of this day
is that who they are, is not
Known.
Only claims, and conjecture
is not nearly good enough for
this.
This was the beginning
of their path to heaven.
Their start caught in one sepia moment.
The women are the eldest
of the ones who should be
Known.
Even with their hands raised,
they work to keep the group together.
You can see a girl with them,
her face quick as she enters the camera still.
But, at least, she is there,
with them, with this memory.
The other men, and the other boys, save one,
are behind them.
The black milk of this dusk
as they walk into night
is that they, too, are not
Known.
These unknown are
together
in one moment
walking forward in sun
to the deadliest place.
It’s the women you notice first.
The black milk of this day
is that who they are, is not
Known.
Only claims, and conjecture
is not nearly good enough for
this.
This was the beginning
of their path to heaven.
Their start caught in one sepia moment.
The women are the eldest
of the ones who should be
Known.
Even with their hands raised,
they work to keep the group together.
You can see a girl with them,
her face quick as she enters the camera still.
But, at least, she is there,
with them, with this memory.
The other men, and the other boys, save one,
are behind them.
The black milk of this dusk
as they walk into night
is that they, too, are not
Known.
These unknown are
together
in one moment
walking forward in sun
to the deadliest place.
Looking to the right,
The men in gray form their own group.
Four Meisters aus Deutschland,
lightning bolts on their collars,
guard the exodus of their prey
from the final haven they will know.
Only the one in the front,
the one with his weapon ready,
one out of all the bodies there, is
Known.
Death is a low man from Friedland-in-Böhmen,
there is steel on his head.
He cradles his gun with casual care,
his bullets strike you dead.
This pacification is mere business to him
and his leaden comrades-in-scales,
for the vipers they play with
slither deep in their dark.
The men in gray form their own group.
Four Meisters aus Deutschland,
lightning bolts on their collars,
guard the exodus of their prey
from the final haven they will know.
Only the one in the front,
the one with his weapon ready,
one out of all the bodies there, is
Known.
Death is a low man from Friedland-in-Böhmen,
there is steel on his head.
He cradles his gun with casual care,
his bullets strike you dead.
This pacification is mere business to him
and his leaden comrades-in-scales,
for the vipers they play with
slither deep in their dark.
in the middle
is the boy
with a soft
cap and eyes
his long jacket
and knee socks
on his far
too thin legs
both his hands
are raised up
to the air
where there will
be graves in
the clouds where
one will lie
unconfined
is the boy
with a soft
cap and eyes
his long jacket
and knee socks
on his far
too thin legs
both his hands
are raised up
to the air
where there will
be graves in
the clouds where
one will lie
unconfined
The way the structure mirrors the characters' placement in the photo is nice, and in general, the selection of where to do line breaks keeps the thoughts and images nicely organized.
I have no idea what this all means, but I can say what it makes me think of. I would guess the men are soldiers taking the women and the boy to a concentration camp, but it's not until the description of the men that I get that impression. That's because the description of the women didn't seem to depict them as concerned about anything. The last stanza about them is foreboding, but seemingly in a way the women aren't aware of. Until the second stanza, I had pictured these women as flappers posing for a family photo in a tavern, but I can't put my finger on why that imagery came up for me.
I don't get any of the references in the title, so I'm going in without any context they might provide.
If death of the author is truly a thing, then this forms a very striking image for me.
I have no idea what this all means, but I can say what it makes me think of. I would guess the men are soldiers taking the women and the boy to a concentration camp, but it's not until the description of the men that I get that impression. That's because the description of the women didn't seem to depict them as concerned about anything. The last stanza about them is foreboding, but seemingly in a way the women aren't aware of. Until the second stanza, I had pictured these women as flappers posing for a family photo in a tavern, but I can't put my finger on why that imagery came up for me.
I don't get any of the references in the title, so I'm going in without any context they might provide.
If death of the author is truly a thing, then this forms a very striking image for me.
I really like how the tone shift from one section to the next is emphasized by the change in formatting. This is a great example of a gimmick being executed very well, IMO.
I'll have to admit that I feel like I'm missing something when it comes to the context of this piece. I tried googling the names in the title, but I'm not 100% sure how it relates to the poem other than the obvious holocaust connection. Is this based on a real photo?
Now, as much as I like your use of the text align, I'm afraid I'm scratching my head just a little bit at the free verse itself. For the third section, I understand that the line breaks are mainly dictated by the need to keep the text narrow enough to fit between the other two sections. But for the first two sections, the line breaks feel kind of random to me. There's not much of a pattern to them, either in repetition or in meaning, so the whole piece almost feels like very pretty formatted prose to me.
Overall, there is definitely a somberness to the piece that is lent to it by the nature of its subject matter, but in execution I never got a sense of how the pieces are supposed to fit together. Granted, this might have a lot to do with my ignorance on how the title relates to the poem, so I'd be eager to see if anyone can offer an explanation.
Thank you for entering!
I'll have to admit that I feel like I'm missing something when it comes to the context of this piece. I tried googling the names in the title, but I'm not 100% sure how it relates to the poem other than the obvious holocaust connection. Is this based on a real photo?
Now, as much as I like your use of the text align, I'm afraid I'm scratching my head just a little bit at the free verse itself. For the third section, I understand that the line breaks are mainly dictated by the need to keep the text narrow enough to fit between the other two sections. But for the first two sections, the line breaks feel kind of random to me. There's not much of a pattern to them, either in repetition or in meaning, so the whole piece almost feels like very pretty formatted prose to me.
Overall, there is definitely a somberness to the piece that is lent to it by the nature of its subject matter, but in execution I never got a sense of how the pieces are supposed to fit together. Granted, this might have a lot to do with my ignorance on how the title relates to the poem, so I'd be eager to see if anyone can offer an explanation.
Thank you for entering!
Very nice:
I would've liked the idea of "being Known" to come in again at the end. Maybe change the meaning of the phrase as it travels through the poem: only one figure in the photo is Known, but the essential archetypes on display are now Known throughout the world. Something like that. :)
Mike
I would've liked the idea of "being Known" to come in again at the end. Maybe change the meaning of the phrase as it travels through the poem: only one figure in the photo is Known, but the essential archetypes on display are now Known throughout the world. Something like that. :)
Mike
This poem describes this photograph of a boy surrendering outside a bunker during the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.
>>Pascoite said pretty much all I have, though for me it's super clearly about the holocaust.
>>LoftyWithers
You need to pretend you didn't write this poem to follow the rules of the contest. Maybe, "I think this poem might be about this famous photograph I've seen before".
After the competition you'll be able to write a retrospective to explain whichever poem or poems are yours, but you have to be catty while the competition is ongoing.
>>LoftyWithers
You need to pretend you didn't write this poem to follow the rules of the contest. Maybe, "I think this poem might be about this famous photograph I've seen before".
After the competition you'll be able to write a retrospective to explain whichever poem or poems are yours, but you have to be catty while the competition is ongoing.