I really like the voices here. Despite the short amount of time we get to spend with each of our characters, everyone comes across really strongly and entertainingly. And this is coming from somebody who usually has difficulty enjoying anything with the Student 6 in it, so job really well done!

I think my biggest issue with this entry is how it handles its payoff. I can tell you're running full-force into the 750 word wall right now, which is extremely unfortunate. I need to be honest and say that as things are right now, the ending scene doesn't quite feel right.

I'm guessing that you're tying to be a little open-ended about the question of whether or not Smoulder is a changeling, but at the moment, neither answer feels particularly satisfying. If Smoulder is a changeling, then I'm going to end up asking myself why she sheds scales and appears to have a hoarding instinct. Conversely, if she doesn't have a hoarding instinct, then her advice to Spike feels shallower and less meaningful in retrospect.

On the other hand, if Smoulder isn't a changeling (which I personally think is the path with more potential), then we're dealing with a dragon with a deep identity crisis that you've only got enough words left to hint at. What about being a dragon does Smoulder find so alienating? What about it does she think she needs to imitate/conform to? I think this would be a great starting point for a story, but as an ending point it feels insufficient—a good idea, with no payoff yet.

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm almost entirely sure that these payoff issues are an artifact of the word count, so I'm kind of disappointed that I didn't get to see everything you wanted to show us. What is here is great, but what isn't here might just be vital.

The character work is front and center here, and it's very good. All these characters come alive right away, and the banter in the first scene is great. Who knew Sandbar was Mills Lane?

I had the same issues as >>Bachiavellian with not knowing exactly what kind of identity crisis Smolder was having, but I'd have to discount her actually being a changeling, because at this point, changelings are on good terms with everyone. If she revealed she was one, what does she lose? So I'm taking this more as a body dysphoria thing. Either she acknowledges being a dragon but doesn't like dragons much, or she feels inside like she isn't really one. I could take her obsession with history as being her desperation for cover or just a source of embarrassment since it's not something most dragons would care about.

If this suffers particularly from something, it's that there's a really recent episode that would seem to contradict a lot of this. If you'd written it a month ago, I could buy it a lot easier. But now we know a Smolder who's not afraid to confide, and she readily admits not being like other dragons. She really liked the sulfur smell, the sharp rocks underfoot, and she said it was nice to be home, all in front of two characters she wouldn't feel very self-conscious around. It seems like something she would have discussed with her brother, and Ember had pretty much ordered all the dragons to be more accepting. For that matter, she'd already confided in her classmates that she liked tea parties and makeup and dresses, so I don't know why she wouldn't share this with them. I'm prepared to accept it, though, since people can be quirky about what subjects are off limits or not.

I guess maybe this could use a clearer delineation of what her problem exactly is. Is it just that she likes things dragons typically don't, so that she feels like she doesn't fit in? That's the one more suggested by the story but more incompatible with "Sweet and Smoky." Or is it that she actually feels like her body is wrong, that she hates being this size and shape and texture? That's far less suggested by the story, but the way that'd be easier to mesh with canon. Either one could, of course, if you do enough explaining.

This is the most technically accomplished story of the ones I've read so far, with the most fleshed-out and compelling narrative, as well as the best voicing/dialogue. I enjoyed the twist on dragon-lore that you provided, author: that a hoard kept out of sentiment, rather than out of the base desire to simply own things, is what drives a dragon batty. I can see that gelling pretty well with both the MLP universe as a whole, and Spike's character in particular.

I think I might not be the target audience here, though, because this story didn't land with me. I applaud its merits, but I have no real attachment to any of these characters; I never watched season eight, and Them's Learning Herds never really caught on with me.

But if I check that bias (or... lack of bias?) at the door, then this stands up as a solid character piece. :)

The conflict here is made pretty obvious by the title alone. But that's not the point of the story now, is it?

I may be totally off the mark here but: this feels like a story about the trans experience. Even if unintentionally, you've done a wonderful job of showcasing the subtle claws of dysphoria, both personal and societal, in a way that translates seamlessly to the world of MLP.

Execution wise, this is excellent as well. If I spent a lot of time I'm sure there are lots of wonderful things I could point out, but suffice to say that everything read cohesively, immersively and engagingly. Top-tier for me.

First of all, take my feedback with a large grain of salt, as I'm behind in my episodes and can't speak with any certainty on the student 6.

So speaking from general impressions, the first scene did a good job of mixing action and dialog, and the individual characterization felt internally consistent. A character asking a dragon how they know so much about dragons, though... Um. That could be legit characterization, and he is called on it, but it's egregious enough that it raised an eyebrow. As well, the 'X has been a changeling all along' has been done enough that it feels a bit worn, especially with reformed changelings now in the mix. Having it later seem to turn out to be true felt like a bit of a stretch.

Overall I felt that the dialog and interactions flowed nicely enough, and the story beats came together as a serviceable arc, but due to the particular elements used, I had some trouble with suspension of disbelief.

So, yeah, basically every facet of this is top notch and went straight to the top of my list. There's a quick progression from mundane to kid-serious to very-actually-serious, but every inch of it feels completely earned an on point. I'm a few episodes behind so I can't speak to the most recent lore on Smolder that Pasc mentions, but I can definitely see an angle prior to the newest stuff where she has to actively remind herself how to be a "proper" dragon. They are, broadly speaking, huge jerks. Sure, Ember lightened things up, but sudden (and forced) social largesse doesn't undo old survival habits over night.

Alternatively, she is actually a changeling, but has been Smolder so long she's forgotten how to change into anything else. Maybe. I dunno. I liked this either way.

It was the size of a cutlery drawer.

Loved this callback.

I think all the other reviewers pretty much outlined in full, glorious crystal-LED detail everything that I wanted to say about this entry, but I'll just put out a short summary before giving my take on the whole 'changeling or nah' issue.

Scene's great, the dialogue's great, characterization is probably the best of this round. The prose could be a bit denser but that's just a personal preference of mine. I really like the delicately progressive change in tone from lighthearted and carefree to despondent and uncertain, props for that. I do think the pacing did kilter a little near the end of the second scene but it picked itself up immediately after, so it didn't bother me all too much.

Now, on the whole 'is she a changeling' front, I'm with Camp Dysphoria on this one. If I consider the possibility that Smolder was actually a changeling, the issues that Pasco presented above would ultimately be glaring. I'll add to that point by saying that should she be a changeling, I believe she would prioritize Smolder's personality over the general behavior of dragons to aid with her disguise.

I do like, however, the fact that we're given a glimpse at Smolder's hoard. Not really for the hoard itself, but the fact that it's revealed she has one, mostly because of the greater irony of it all. She's uncertain about whether or not she's a 'proper' dragon, yet she seems unaware that she's partaking in the act of hoarding itself. Also, going by the story's logic, these bunch of 'Becoming A Dragon for Dummies' books were special to her, and that this instinct comes from a place of jealousy. Just looking at it like this, I'm thinking that there's a lot of complexity there that cannot be unpacked in a minific format. Having been there a couple of times myself, I'm inclined to believe there's a lot more about this story that you want to get off your chest, to which I say go for it!

With what I'm seeing so far, I'm really, really looking forward to reading an expanded version of this. I do think, however, that Smolder's identity crisis should be an issue tackled in the undercurrent rather than it being the main conflict driving the narrative of the story, though I'm sure you're competent enough of a writer to know that, dear Author. Winks abound!

Thanks for writing, and good luck to you!

I thought the story would be about Smolder hoarding dresses or something like it given her guilty pleasures displayed in the show, but that also showed that I forgot the title altogether. And that's good!—because it made me wonder about what's going on so much that I forgot the obvious. Good case of misdirection here!

As for the actual reveal: it's even greater that you don't give us a definite answer; helps generate lots of discussion and thought about what Smolder may actually be and forces readers to think for themselves and take a stand on the issue. (Personally, I think she is a changeling only because it's the most straightforward conclusion given the title.) However, it also means that Smolder isn't that much different from Spike, at least whenever she started out this dragon thing: not knowing much about dragons, and being one of the odd ones out dragon-wise.

It's also great on second read, knowing that Smolder isn't "that much of a dragon" as everyone else thinks she is (case in point: Sandbar likening her to a dragon textbook, not knowing that Smolder is relying on dragon textbooks.) That this story takes on a fuller light on second read really fulfills the Not the Whole Truth prompt going on here.

Overall, this is a great story... um, overall! Don't stop what you're doing!

>>Bachiavellian
>>Pascoite
>>Posh
>>Meridian_Prime
>>Caliaponia
>>Rao
>>WritingSpirit
>>Comma Typer

All done. Thanks for your lovely comments, and for the silver, and I'll see you all in Original-land!