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Here at the End of all Things. · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
Beyond Deity
Rainbow Dash raced.

It's what she was good at. She raced when she was mortal, raced when she was immortal, and now as a Deity, she continued to race.

She was the border between the entirety of her friends' multiverse and the void beyond. She was the electron cloud surrounding that precious nucleus of life. She was the Hope keeping everyone going.

But as much as Rainbow Dash raced, Space kept expanding, demanding to keep going. Chaos kept seeping, sinking her claws everywhere. And void demanded a way inside. And all the while, Rainbow Dash dutifully circumnavigated the multiverse. A blur of white everywhere at once keeping all of existence safely nestled in a perfect cocoon from the outside void.

But it was too much. There was a certain breaking point trillions of universe cycles into the process where even Rainbow Dash couldn't hold it all in. She did her best to race and be everywhere at once. But holes in her flight path started to form eventually.

It was her fault. She should have been stronger. She should have been faster. She should have—have... should have been able to stop this.


"No Rainbow," said Fluttershy calmly.

Chaos was floating at the edge of existence, her electric pink mane had long since succumbed to gray. And the myriad of shapes, colors, and other amalgamations that made up Chaos's body had whittled down to a mere shadow of the mortal that had once been Fluttershy.

Rainbow Dash continued flying of course, she could never ever stop. Rainbow's voice emanated from edge of the multiverse itself.

"You did this, Chaos—Entropy—whatever you are!" shouted Rainbow.

Fluttershy shrugged. "This is the roles we chose, Rainbow. This is what we decided when we became Deities. Just as there was a beginning in existence when we weren't Deities, so shall there be a point where we aren't Deities anymore."

"That's quitter talk Fluttershy, and you know it," said Rainbow.

"But—that's what we agreed to. We all saw how it was all going to happen."

"Yeah—well what we agreed to is stupid and I hate it and you just get out of here and stop entropying all over the place, okay?"

Fluttershy paused, some of her many hooves shrinking back into her body. "I— would like to stop, Rainbow."

"Huh—well glad you finally learned to stop being such a jerk."

Fluttershy started crying of all things—the nerve of her!

"I—I— just... I didn't want him to have to be Chaos anymore. I thought that if I took it myself I could soften the power of entropy somehow—that it wouldn't be so bad if I was the one in charge. I failed... Rainbow. But at least Discord didn't have to do this. That's the least I could do for him."

"You think you're some kind of martyr, Fluttershy?" asked Rainbow Dash, the edge of the multiverse reverberating with the question.

Fluttershy's head sagged and she hid her faces behind her mane. "I just—I prevented what I could Rainbow. And he didn't have to do it. He had suffered enough as the Deity of Chaos before. And now... I'd like to... well... I'd like it to be over now."

"Well tough luck pal, I'm just going to keep racing and filling in every hole in my flight path. Nothing you can do about it."

"Space is expanding, Rainbow. Blame Spike. And now... this is the beginning of the end. And I Hope you forgive me."

Rainbow flinched. She sometimes hated her role.

"I think Sunset Shimmer is better at the whole forgiveness thing, Fluttershy. You may want to go to her for that."

Fluttershy huddled inside of herself, the strange amalgamation of her disfigured body parts somehow wrapped inside themselves until Fluttershy was curled up into a ball of sadness.

"Do you really not remember, Rainbow. What's supposed to happen at the end?"

"I try not to think about it."

Fluttershy sighed. "I—well... if you don't remember... well..."

Rainbow Dash continued racing.

"May I join you for the end?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've lost the color in your mane, Rainbow."

"Well duh, rainbows mix into white at this speed."

"Before the end, you're supposed to get the colors back. The rainbow, and the colors beyond and everything in between. You are more than just the shell, Rainbow. You are the Hope that we can hatch."

Something pierced inside Rainbow, burrowing it's way into her consciousness. Fluttershy was right—there was an order to all of this. And she just needed to keep going and keep flying forever.

"May I join you, Rainbow?"

The edge of the universe blinked in agreement. And Fluttershy leaned into the electron cloud of white streaks that was Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow noticed the yellow streak in her mane. There shouldn't be color at this speeds. But it was there. Fluttershy—Chaos was there. And it was the beginning of the end.




Life came next.

She was battered, torn, barely a fragment of her former self. And still... she smiled just like she always had.

"I feel bad leaving the party early," said Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash didn't know how to respond to that.

"Everypony's dead," said Pinkie Pie, her mouth quivering. "But still... they lived really good lives. I made sure of that. Really... really fun lives."

"I saw, Pinkie," said Rainbow Dash. "I saw everything. You did such a good job."

Tears started to form in Pinkie's eyes. "I—I did?"

"Yes, you did Pinkie. So many wonderful, happy, joyful lives full of love and friendship. You made that happen."

"It wasn't all good, Rainbow," sighed Pinkie Pie, her head sagging and her smile disappearing. "Being alive is often very sad."

"But you overcame that sadness, Pinkie! Like only you could. Besides, can you imagine how much sadder life would have been without you?"

"Without me!? I—NO! That would've been terrible!"

"Then you did good, Pinkie. You did it."

"So Life is good?" asked Pinkie.

"Yep, Life is good," said Rainbow.

"Thank you," said Pinkie.

Pinkie disappeared into the white and yellow edge of the multiverse.

A pink stripe appeared in Rainbow's mane.




Soul came next.

She stayed in her human form, even as a Deity. Although the fire and feathers around her always made her seem more like a phoenix than a human.

"It's over... isn't it?" asked Sunset Shimmer.

"It's over," sighed Rainbow Dash as she continued to race around. More and more gaps of void were starting to be seen through her racing path.

"I brought... well... everyone," said Sunset Shimmer.

"Everyone?" asked Rainbow.

"Absolutely everyone. Every soul, except the few Deities left."

"Thanks," said Rainbow.

"I—I—" Sunset stuttered. "Did you... see?"

"I saw everything," said Rainbow.

"Did I make a difference?" asked Sunset.

"What are you talking about!? Why is everyone all second guessing themselves because it's the end!? You did great! I mean—I couldn't shuffle souls around like you did. Pinkie, Rarity and You really had a good system going."

Sunset smiled. "Life, Death and Rebirth."

Sunset unfurled her wings, her red feathers shimmered with the light of septillions of souls.

"Hey, don't think you're dying or anything, I'm going to need you. ALL of you!" said Rainbow to Sunset and the souls.

Sunset smiled as she flew into Rainbow's light.

A large red streak appeared in Rainbow's hair as the memories of absolutely everyone that had existed across all multiverses flooded her mind.




Knowledge came next.

"Oh dear!" said Twilight flapping her broad wings next to the white, yellow, pink, and red wall of the racing Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow's flight path was getting erratic. There was so much information here. So many souls now working together.

And it all felt overwhelming.

"Well... here goes everything," said Twilight.

A blue streak appeared in her mane.

The souls made sense. Everything made more sense now. The clarity that came from understanding Life, Chaos, Souls, and Hope.

Rainbow Dash raced on. She had nearly everyone with her now, all working together to keep racing. The border between the multiverse and the void thickened, overtaking the multiverse that lay inside.

She was starting to lose herself now, amalgamating into everyone.




Matter was pretty pissed.

"I just can't get anything to work right!" shouted Applejack. "All this entropy and stuff!? Would you look at this!?"

Applejack gestured to pitiful looking hydrogen atoms, or what was left of them. Spare upquarks and downquarks and other subatomic particles fizzled and popped and generally did nothing like they used to.

"Applejack, it's the end," said Rainbow.

"I know that, sugarcube," said Applejack. "Doesn't mean I can't be good and angry about it."

Rainbow shrugged, even though she was sure Applejack couldn't see.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Uhh... everypony else just seems to be absorbing into my mane and stuff. You gonna do that too?"

"We're doing what now!?" asked Applejack.

"Uhh... I dunno... this is just kind of happening. Everyone else just seemed to do it and uhh... well... there's a lot of us in here right now."

"You don't say?" asked Applejack.

"There's a place for you, Applejack. You ready for what's next?"

Applejack stared back at faulty matter, nothing would form into anything anymore.

"Alright, Sugarcube."

Applejack raced into the colors, and an orange stripe appeared in Rainbow Dash's mane.




Time wasn't her usual self.

"I regret everything," said Starlight Glimmer.

Rainbow Dash squinted at her. "Seriously? What do you have to complain about?"

"Rainbow Dash," said Starlight. "Ponies... humans... creatures... souls... whatever we are. We are not comfortable with time. Nearly every form that high level existence took required reminders of time everywhere. Wristwatches, clocks, timepieces, timers, alarms. Everywhere they looked, they saw time. They measured time, they tried to control it, to grab onto it with every appendage they could while all it did was slip through their fingers. We weren't meant to live with time, Rainbow. I demanded we did because that's what made sense to me! I needed to organize everything chronologically for it to make sense to me! But them!? They are not at home in time. And I forced it on them, and I'm sorry."

Rainbow didn't know what to say to that.

"So I'll make sure you won't have to deal with time forevermore."

And with that, Starlight Glimmer teleported beyond the multiverse into the void itself.

The effect was instantaneous and forever all at once. The cocoon that was holding the multiverse together started to unravel at the seems as Rainbow's flight path started convulsing erratically.

Cause—Effect and everything in between started to zigzag out of control and seep into the outer void.

"WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT TIME!?" screeched Rainbow Dash.

For the first time since Rainbow had become a Deity, she altered her flight path, making a beeline toward Starlight Glimmer, who was trying to race away into the void.

Nopony could outrace Rainbow Dash, not even Time herself.

Rainbow caught Starlight and then rushed back to rapidly diminishing cocoon. She did her best to gather anything that might have escaped into the void. But there really wasn't much left at this point.

Starlight held tightly on to Rainbow. "Are you really sure? I— I— shouldn't be with you. Time hurts. It hurts so much. I'm the villain in all this. I've always been the villain! We wouldn't even have to have an end if time wasn't there to establish a beginning and an end. I'm so sorry!"

"Starlight," said Rainbow, staring intently at her while she continued to race. "We need you, okay? We need you and we can't do this without you."

Tears started forming in Starlight's eyes. "You're wrong though."

"Well then, we'll all be wrong together, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

As Rainbow raced, Starlight absorbed into her. And a violet stripe appeared in Rainbow's mane.

"The end certainly does some weird things to ponies," said Rainbow to herself, which was quite a lot at this point.




"Sorry for all the trouble," said Spike, his ever expanding hoard—the very fabric of Space—kept him growing larger and larger.

Rainbow shrugged. "It's no one's fault really... it's just... the end. These things happen."

"Do you have any idea what's supposed to happen next?" asked Spike. "I mean—Time's gone too? What should I do with my hoard?"

Spike gestured to the ephemeral space that he completely enveloped. The aether allowed for all existence to occur, unlike the awful void.

"We'll take it," said Rainbow.

Spike took another look at the myriad of colors that crisscrossed the outside of the multiverse.

"I suppose you should," said Spike, the stars and galaxies that made up his body had long since hardened and lost their light. "There's really not much left to it."

"We'll take it all the same."

"Hmm..." said Spike, staring at the colors at the edge of infinity. "What's it like in there anyway?"

"Pinkie says it's 'fun,'" said Rainbow.

"Can she still talk like normal?"

"Not exactly. We're kind of... together... now."

"Agh..." coughed Spike, a stray bit of flame quickly disappeared. "Remind me never to have an end of the multiverse ever again. This is getting really weird."

Rainbow Dash kept racing forever further and faster, carrying with her an ark of everything that ever was and would be. "I suppose it is."

Spike flew into the colors and a green streak appeared in Rainbow's mane.

Rainbow dutifully grabbed every scrap of space left.




Death came for her next.

"'Sup Rarity!" said Rainbow. "Ready for the end?"

"Darling, it's about time. Go ahead and kill me," said the ancient unicorn, her midnight form was barely perceptible in the encroaching nothingness.

"Woah, is that what you expected?" asked Rainbow.

"I have been letting creatures pass on to Sunset Shimmer for trillions of cycles. Please tell me I can finally do the same!"

"Oh yeah, sure! I just thought— you look like doom and gloom all the time. I figured you wanted the void outside, rather than Death or something."

"Death is not—nor will it ever be—void, darling," said Rarity, flipping her black hair back. "It's simply the transfer from here... to what's next."

"Do you know what is next?"

"No idea. But won't it be nice to reach it though?" said Rarity, smiling.

A black stripe tainted Rainbow's mane.




And that's when everything fell apart.

There was nothing left. No cohesion. No nothing. Rainbow Dash found herself racing around void. Nothing. The nothingness from outside had seeped inside her cocoon. Everything was falling apart. Everything was wrong. There was no... thing. Nothing.

Is this... how they all died?

Not died. Became void?

It was all around her. No matter how much she raced and raced and raced. The void surrounded her on all sides. She absorbed all the Matter, Space, Time, Life, Death, Souls, Knowledge, Chaos— everything. Could she keep racing?

Should she keep going?

Where was she even going to?

What was even left?

She was alone.

Yes, she had septillions of souls inside of her, the knowledge of trillions of universes keeping her fueled and fascinated. But what was next? The void was all consuming. It had always been there. As the edge, Rainbow had always spent half her life facing the void, and the other half protecting her delicate multiverse. But now the multiverse was inside her. And she wasn't sure what she should do at this point. When time had flashed for her when she became a Deity, those moments of understanding had finished.

This was new.

And frightening.

"Don't stop!" said Harmony.

"What the—?" said Rainbow Dash, trying to see where the sound had come from.

"I said, don't stop!" repeated Harmony. "I—They— we need you to keep going, Rainbow. Keep racing, it won't be much longer now."

"Discord!? Seriously? You're the last one at the very end?"

"Chaos was first to succumb. And the penultimate will be Harmony," said Discord. "You are the final Deity Rainbow, you are the Hope for that next future."

"But—what's supposed to be next, Discord!?" asked Rainbow.

"Keep Hope alive."

"Where am I flying to!?"

"Keep Hope alive."

"You shut up and explain everything, Discord. What's gonna happen!?"

"Rainbow... I don't know either. I kept things in harmony for this multiverse. But I don't know what's next. But you are Hope itself, Rainbow. You must have the Hope that there is a next. Or all will be lost. So keep Hope alive."

Rainbow didn't know what to say to that, so she kept racing forward.

She felt as Harmony absorbed into herself and a white stripe appeared in her mane.



And Rainbow Dash did as she always did—she raced.


She finally dropped out of her circumnavigation of the multiverse. There wasn't a multiverse to protect anymore. She was her multiverse. And she had to carry it forward.

She flew straight. It was incredibly strange to fly completely straight. The entire cocoon unravelled. She was flying through the void itself and it scared her. Nothing had ever been so scary before. The void demanded that it seep inside of her. But she wouldn't let it. Emptiness had no place within her.

The cocoon finally unravelled entirely and all that was left was Rainbow Dash streaking across the void.



She raced



And raced



For a long time.






In the midst of the void, a bright white light reached down on them—all of them.

"Welcome my daughter," said a voice from beyond.

Rainbow had always felt ancient, racing along everywhere. And the combined ages of everyone within her brought her age to a level of eternity she didn't think could be outmatched by anything. But the voice she heard, even if she had repeated the entire multiverse hundreds of billions of times, would not reach a fraction of duration of time that voice had been alive.

"Hatching is hard, I know," said the voice, embracing her. "But you're here now, and so are your siblings."

Rainbow stared up at what could only be described as Beyond Deity, and then to all the other cocoons with their own multiverses inside of them. And then to all of the other Deities around her.

And she was home.

They were all home.
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#1 · 2
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Well this was certainly a powerful piece to start off with! Considering that this is the literal end of the universe, I'm kind of surprised at your chosen representations of each character. The descriptions and the differing emotional reactions to the end of all things work so well in how they are presented, even if they don't quite reflect the corresponding elements of harmony.

The abstract nature of the prose made this a bit tricky to follow early on, and I'm still not entirely sure how it all came about. However, this reminds me so much of countless mythological tales of the apocalypse, I can't say I didn't enjoy it! I give this fic a solid B+.
#2 · 2
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This is my favorite story so far. There's not much else I can say. I was on the edge of my seat from the beginning to the very end, and I'm still on that edge as I write this.

Discord's voice sounds remarkably off, and I don't think it should. That's all I got. Nice work.
#3 · 1
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Nice evocative piece. I want to believe we're all currently in Rainbow's mane, like some sort of cosmic lice.

I really liked this. I'm not sure what I'd do to improve it save for fleshing out each encounter a bit more. An additional line of dialogue or two would do wonders, I feel.
#4 · 2
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This is an interesting entry, which gave me a sense of poetic beauty, epic awesomeness and a few touching moments.
The author managed to concile the mortal and Deity aspects of all characters, with the exception of the Fluttershy-Discord swap that felt off. I agree with Zaid that having longer interactions would be very interesting.

However, the abstract and metaphysical nature of the story was a bit hard to digest. Several descriptions felt meaningless instead of being evocative of a cosmic state of existence.

Overall, a solid mid-upper tier.
#5 · 1
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Genre: Starlight Glimmer (Nearly) Ruins Everything

Thoughts: I enjoyed this as a character study of the Mane 6+3+Discord, and for its emotionally evocative pseudo-science-y imagery. I thought Fluttershy's casting was poignant, but it left Discord's as an out-of-left-field surprise.

The ending didn't do much for me. It's probably mostly a personal preference, but I felt that building to a "heaven" of sorts undercut the rest of the story's theme of working towards rebirth. Even though it's kind of an egg-carton heaven from which the rebirth might still happen. I dunno.

Tier: Strong
#6 · 1
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I'm trying something experimental this round (and seeing if it makes reviewing at all easier for me) with rambling audio reviews. I don't normally do this, so apologies for roughness while I see if this works out for me.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c4Bw3nOrRbIDbbyX9Jbm8C2VNQafIyyB/view?usp=sharing
#7 · 2
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Well, this story was intriguing, but I'm going to have to say that it was a little awkward at the beginning, especially. When a character addresses another character, there's a comma: "No, Rainbow." NOT "No Rainbow." That always drives me especially crazy when the dialogue is important and it happens multiple times. You're not trying to tell me that there is no rainbow here! You're trying to say no to Rainbow Dash! I'm sorry to harp on this, but major pet peeve. It threw me when I couldn't afford to be thrown.

Now, rereading the piece some more, I like it better. I'm getting past the initial weirdness and confusion to find it rather enjoyable. It seemed really odd to me that Rainbow's perspective on what was happening changed so much from the first encounter to most of the others. I wouldn't mind this expanded, the rough wording patches smoothed, and a little clarification on the confusing abstract parts added. You have to be REALLY careful when you use a regular noun as a name (i.e. Chaos) to refer to it properly so it's clear it's a name... The idea, though, is really, really interesting, even if Discord's role totally came out of left field for me. I'd love to see this polished. Think it could be a real hit on FimFic.
#8 · 2
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A weird mix of abstract symbolism and literalism here. Dash is literally gravity or something, but... is having a conversation and making Fluttershy cry?

The voices don't quite sound right to me. I get this is some far distant time, so characters have changed maybe, but... Dash saying "Well tough luck pal" sounds wrong, and Fluttershy blaming Spike (or anyone) feels off too.

Ooookay... they're all merging into each other now?

The structure of this, after the first couple of them merged, becomes very repetitive, and therefore predictable. Restating each time how a new color shows up in her mane and such are really slowing the pacing. After the first merge or two, this would probably flow better in a summary.

Many lines of dialog continue to feel out of place or off. We're being shown the end of all existence with weird symbolic deities, yet they use lines like "Can she still talk like normal?" or "This is getting really weird" and "You shut up and explain everything."

Overall, this was a somewhat interesting idea to start with, but quickly lost my interest once the general pattern was shown. After that, it was just far too linear. I was hoping there'd be some payoff at the end that really tied all the symbolism together, but... Well, it goes exactly where it told us it was going. It's the end of everything, and all our favorite ponies-now-gods merge into each other, the end... (and cue the cliche "beyond the veil" ending.) The actual elements they are shown to represent ("souls," "death," etc.) seem to have nothing to do with each other or the ending. Starlight and Sunset could literally switch roles and it would change nothing. Or they could represent just about any other archetypes ("Change" and "Love" and such) and it'd read the same too.

I don't mean to be too harsh, but there was just nothing to connect me to the characters, and seemingly nothing to connect them to the plot beyond just being there as deities. So while it's a mildly fun exercise in symbolism, it feels more like an sketched out idea, rather than a full story.
#9 · 1
· · >>Chinchillax
Lampshading how little something makes sense or matters doesn't stop it being true.
#10 · 4
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I had been sitting on a bizarre short story collection for several months and I just couldn't figure out how to end it. And then the prompt was "Here at the End of All Things." And suddenly I had 3000 words and an ending. There's just something about the Writeoff and getting me to write.

If you guys want to read a weird short story collection, it's up on Fimfiction.


You all had a lot of fantastic feedback and criticism. Rainbow's voice not changing as she went through the transformation was an issue, and I think the final version fixes most of that.

And Discord's voicing was off, that's true. Instead of fixing it at the end, I added a lot more of his original voice to his chapter in the short story collection. I tend to give my reformed (billions of years later) Discord's much different voices than on the show. Mostly because I felt like he had the most to grow and change, while everyone else kept most of their voices throughout the trillions of years because they actually didn't need to change that much from where they are now.

>>MrNumbers
Out of all the feedback, this stung the most. Mostly because I spent a long time trying to figure out how to solve it and my brain just did not come up with a good solution.


Oh well... at least I shoved it out there instead of letting it rot in my google docs like I do with most of what I write.

Thanks everyone ^__^