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Spoon B4it: The Forks Awakens
Gilded Spoon had arrived just slightly too late again.
The bank robbers were already tied up. The hostages had been released. Even the press was there, ready to take pictures of the newest and hottest hero in Got-Them City.
Not Gilded Spoon, of course. Nope, it was her nemesis: The Incredible Spork.
Perhaps 'nemesis' was meant to be for that one supervillain that you fought and foiled and occasionally strapped you into a deathtrap for a narrow escape over a pit of lava or toxic slime. But even Forks MacKenzie had stopped sending her taunting letters about his next heist targets. She was sure that The Incredible Spork was getting those too and it just wasn't fair.
Frustrated, Gilded Spoon slunk back to her secret base, the Spoon Cave, where she could sulk in peace. Thankfully, her mechanical butler knew exactly what she needed. "Thank you," she said, grabbing the enchanted comics that he had brought her.
"You're welcome, <bzzt> Wesley," he said, and scuttled off to recharge.
She settled into a comfy chair and opened issue #47 of The Adventures of the Popular Pair. Maybe this at least could take her mind off her problems.
Gilded Spoon tossed her braid back, and checked her saddlebag to make sure she had all of her books. She trotted off towards school, and along the way ran into Diamond Tiara, her bestest friend forever.
"There you are, Silver Spoon!" DT said. "Gosh, you were being so slow I thought you were Scootaloo."
They both broke out into giggles.
"But we have a serious problem," Diamond said suddenly, stopping short. "We called them all the names we could yesterday and they didn't even mind! (SEE ISSUE 46: PRACTICE PANIC IN PONYVILLE) At this rate, they're going to win the contest and get to do the routine for the Equestria Games. We can't let that happen! We're going to have to take this to another level."
Gilded frowned. "But we already called them blank flanks! What's worse than that?"
"Divide and conquer, silly." DT grinned maliciously. "I'll focus on Scootaloo and give it my very meanest. You try and catch Sweetie Belle alone, and get on her good side."
"I don't understand."
"See, sometimes you need people to trust you before you can betray them! That's how you destroy someone utterly, or at least that's what my daddy always says."
Gilded Spoon gasped. It made so much sense. If she could look like she was helping the Crusaders, but then wait until just the right moment to laugh in their faces, it'd hurt so much more! Plus the teacher wouldn't get mad at her, she'd get mad at Diamond Tiara for being more transparently mean from the very beginning, and her daddy could always just buy the school a new jungle gym or something regardless.
"You're so smart!" Gilded Spoon gushed. DT preened under the attention.
"Now come on! It's time to put our plan into operation."
A few hours and some cathartic Crusader-taunting later, Gilded Spoon found herself back in her comfy chair, ideas spinning in her brain. She trotted over to the Spoonternet, typing in some commands. It wouldn't be that hard to find a way to contact Forks MacKenzie.
He certainly would be surprised to hear from her. But then, when he heard her plan… It was an offer he couldn't refuse. Together, they could construct a trap for The Incredible Spork that would take him out of the picture. Permanently.
Gilded Spoon was just glad that comic books were such helpful pedagogical tools for teaching important life lessons!
TO BE CONTINUED...
The bank robbers were already tied up. The hostages had been released. Even the press was there, ready to take pictures of the newest and hottest hero in Got-Them City.
Not Gilded Spoon, of course. Nope, it was her nemesis: The Incredible Spork.
Perhaps 'nemesis' was meant to be for that one supervillain that you fought and foiled and occasionally strapped you into a deathtrap for a narrow escape over a pit of lava or toxic slime. But even Forks MacKenzie had stopped sending her taunting letters about his next heist targets. She was sure that The Incredible Spork was getting those too and it just wasn't fair.
Frustrated, Gilded Spoon slunk back to her secret base, the Spoon Cave, where she could sulk in peace. Thankfully, her mechanical butler knew exactly what she needed. "Thank you," she said, grabbing the enchanted comics that he had brought her.
"You're welcome, <bzzt> Wesley," he said, and scuttled off to recharge.
She settled into a comfy chair and opened issue #47 of The Adventures of the Popular Pair. Maybe this at least could take her mind off her problems.
Gilded Spoon tossed her braid back, and checked her saddlebag to make sure she had all of her books. She trotted off towards school, and along the way ran into Diamond Tiara, her bestest friend forever.
"There you are, Silver Spoon!" DT said. "Gosh, you were being so slow I thought you were Scootaloo."
They both broke out into giggles.
"But we have a serious problem," Diamond said suddenly, stopping short. "We called them all the names we could yesterday and they didn't even mind! (SEE ISSUE 46: PRACTICE PANIC IN PONYVILLE) At this rate, they're going to win the contest and get to do the routine for the Equestria Games. We can't let that happen! We're going to have to take this to another level."
Gilded frowned. "But we already called them blank flanks! What's worse than that?"
"Divide and conquer, silly." DT grinned maliciously. "I'll focus on Scootaloo and give it my very meanest. You try and catch Sweetie Belle alone, and get on her good side."
"I don't understand."
"See, sometimes you need people to trust you before you can betray them! That's how you destroy someone utterly, or at least that's what my daddy always says."
Gilded Spoon gasped. It made so much sense. If she could look like she was helping the Crusaders, but then wait until just the right moment to laugh in their faces, it'd hurt so much more! Plus the teacher wouldn't get mad at her, she'd get mad at Diamond Tiara for being more transparently mean from the very beginning, and her daddy could always just buy the school a new jungle gym or something regardless.
"You're so smart!" Gilded Spoon gushed. DT preened under the attention.
"Now come on! It's time to put our plan into operation."
A few hours and some cathartic Crusader-taunting later, Gilded Spoon found herself back in her comfy chair, ideas spinning in her brain. She trotted over to the Spoonternet, typing in some commands. It wouldn't be that hard to find a way to contact Forks MacKenzie.
He certainly would be surprised to hear from her. But then, when he heard her plan… It was an offer he couldn't refuse. Together, they could construct a trap for The Incredible Spork that would take him out of the picture. Permanently.
Gilded Spoon was just glad that comic books were such helpful pedagogical tools for teaching important life lessons!
TO BE CONTINUED...
And I'm starting with the wackiest title on my slate because it sounds fun!
Genre: Very long joke setup
Thoughts: You know what, the ending made me laugh, which I'm pretty sure was most of the point here. I felt a little less sure about whether it worked for the narrative to rely on the comic in the middle, but I see it was in service to the end, so I can go with it. Points for the Sudden callout to issue #46!, which felt very genre-appropriate.
I guess my biggest quibble (pants) is that paragraphs 1-7 contain absolutely nothing to confirm that the setting of the framing story is also rooted in Pony. It's not a problem either way, but the ambiguity of it makes for a rough start.
Tier: Needs Work
Genre: Very long joke setup
Thoughts: You know what, the ending made me laugh, which I'm pretty sure was most of the point here. I felt a little less sure about whether it worked for the narrative to rely on the comic in the middle, but I see it was in service to the end, so I can go with it. Points for the Sudden callout to issue #46!, which felt very genre-appropriate.
I guess my biggest quibble (pants) is that paragraphs 1-7 contain absolutely nothing to confirm that the setting of the framing story is also rooted in Pony. It's not a problem either way, but the ambiguity of it makes for a rough start.
Tier: Needs Work
Does Superman watch soap operas in his free time?
I like the idea of escapism for what already is a character in an escapist fantasy. And having the superhero actually learning something from the comic was a nice touch which tied it all together.
It does need work, however. A bit of polish could make this bright to a silver shine.
I like the idea of escapism for what already is a character in an escapist fantasy. And having the superhero actually learning something from the comic was a nice touch which tied it all together.
It does need work, however. A bit of polish could make this bright to a silver shine.
Er... maybe I'm just tired and my brain isn't working right, but the punchline seems confused here?
If she is trying to get rid of the Incredible Spork (which I'm fairly sure is the idea), then the joke (as presented) doesn't actually follow the lesson of the comic. You could argue she's telling Fork that plan so that they can THEN enact a divide and conquer, but you don't actually lead take us all the way there, leaving us with little impact.
If she is trying to get rid of Fork (which I'm fairly sure is not the idea), then the entire first half of the setup doesn't really prepare us for it.
Beyond that, this is just one of those things is so not for me. Goofy humor is something I can be picky about, and a LOT of spoon jokes isn't doing it for me. The comic angle is neat, as is arguably the character of Spoon what with her apparently being in this for her own fame and attention, but yeah, the overall package just doesn't gel for me.
If she is trying to get rid of the Incredible Spork (which I'm fairly sure is the idea), then the joke (as presented) doesn't actually follow the lesson of the comic. You could argue she's telling Fork that plan so that they can THEN enact a divide and conquer, but you don't actually lead take us all the way there, leaving us with little impact.
If she is trying to get rid of Fork (which I'm fairly sure is not the idea), then the entire first half of the setup doesn't really prepare us for it.
Beyond that, this is just one of those things is so not for me. Goofy humor is something I can be picky about, and a LOT of spoon jokes isn't doing it for me. The comic angle is neat, as is arguably the character of Spoon what with her apparently being in this for her own fame and attention, but yeah, the overall package just doesn't gel for me.
This was great. I have almost nothing to say to improve it, except maybe one thing.
Wesley? I didn't even know that could be a girl name before now, and it doesn't make much sense OHHHH
I think the main characters here are intended to be humans from a non-EQG universe? Wow! If so, that's totally opaque. Nothing in the story hints that these aren't poni—
Wat.
Well, shit. I guess they are ponies after all. Huh. You know, I think you need some connection here for this to make sense. Like, have the protagonist think about "Fili-Second" or somepony in that universe so we realize this is a pony universe, or at least mention hooves or something. When coming up with a completely new universe you need to be particular or there will be confusion, and this one had me rereading twice before I understood the framework (even though the framework wasn't essential).
So, a My Little Pony mare named Wesley? Huh. That's... huh. That's very strange.
Wesley? I didn't even know that could be a girl name before now, and it doesn't make much sense OHHHH
I think the main characters here are intended to be humans from a non-EQG universe? Wow! If so, that's totally opaque. Nothing in the story hints that these aren't poni—
Wat.
Well, shit. I guess they are ponies after all. Huh. You know, I think you need some connection here for this to make sense. Like, have the protagonist think about "Fili-Second" or somepony in that universe so we realize this is a pony universe, or at least mention hooves or something. When coming up with a completely new universe you need to be particular or there will be confusion, and this one had me rereading twice before I understood the framework (even though the framework wasn't essential).
So, a My Little Pony mare named Wesley? Huh. That's... huh. That's very strange.
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what was going on here. Nor, unfortunately, was my interest hooked enough to want to figure it out. I'd guess off the cuff that bully and bullying target are both supers and unwitting internet friends, but... it doesn't seem to go anywhere with that? The piece will not, in fact, be continued in another issue, it needs to stand on its own right here, and in that regard I don't really see a clear arc or themes. Just imagery and a scattering of jokes.
Needs some work, less ambiguity, and clearer themes. I appreciate aiming high, though. Thanks for writing!
Needs some work, less ambiguity, and clearer themes. I appreciate aiming high, though. Thanks for writing!
Oh, also: don't name your story this. (I just don't like in-joke references, especially the self-deprecating kind.)
I think the core idea of the frame story here is actually kind of interesting - the protagonist living the life of a "popular" filly, and not realizing that they're taking all the wrong lessons from it.
However, I don't feel like this ultimately came together - it doesn't really have a full arc.
However, I don't feel like this ultimately came together - it doesn't really have a full arc.
I thought this was one of the most creative ideas in the contest. I'm surprised it didn't make the cut.
Author Notes:
I think most people didn't get this one, which is fair because it was a reference to a series of fics from a writeoff over two years ago. I think the framing makes more sense in that context, as I subverted/reversed the plot of the original fics. Please note that despite the title, neither this nor the originals were deliberately written badly to try and win the spoon.
>>Trick_Question
"Wesley" is just a joke reference to something else. It was in every way a poor decision to include, but I did so anyways because I didn't expect many people to understand this story to begin with. So why not double down on opacity! (obviously this has been a winning strategy in all of my comedyfics, I am so good at writeoff)
I think most people didn't get this one, which is fair because it was a reference to a series of fics from a writeoff over two years ago. I think the framing makes more sense in that context, as I subverted/reversed the plot of the original fics. Please note that despite the title, neither this nor the originals were deliberately written badly to try and win the spoon.
>>Trick_Question
"Wesley" is just a joke reference to something else. It was in every way a poor decision to include, but I did so anyways because I didn't expect many people to understand this story to begin with. So why not double down on opacity! (obviously this has been a winning strategy in all of my comedyfics, I am so good at writeoff)