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“You need in-patient treatment, and you need it now.”
“It wouldn’t cure me, though.” Lily Valley stared from across the desk.
“No,” replied Dr. Primary Care, with frustration in her voice. “We’ve been over this in your previous appointments. There’s no cure. Only management to help get you as much time as possible.”
“How much time?”
“Probably about another year.”
“All in the hospital?” Lily asked.
“Yes.”
“Then what good is that?”
“It’s another year.” Care spoke slowly, belaboring the obvious.
“No, I get that, but...” Lily rolled a hoof in the air. “I mean, what good would it be?”
“It’s time you wouldn’t have otherwise.”
“How long would I have otherwise?” Lily asked.
“Looking at these function tests and your bloodwork... six weeks. Maybe two months.”
“So I can live for two months, or I can spend a year hooked up to IVs and tubes, bored out of my mind, trapped in someplace everypony hates.”
“I understand, it’s frustrating—”
“How many times have you been terminally diagnosed?” Lily asked. “How many times have you been here, where I am now? In some doctor’s office like this—” she waved a hoof around in a wide arc, “—with somepony sitting across from you, telling you that you have a... a thing, or whatever... and you have two months?”
“...Never,” Care admitted.
“Oh. Never. Right.” Lily leaned forward. “So I don’t think you do understand.”
“Okay, maybe I don’t know how you feel.” Care sighed. “But I understand medical facts, and I understand this, Ms. Valley: your condition is painful. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to get worse. If nothing else, in-patient palliative care could at least make you comfortable.”
“So give me two months of pain meds, and I’ll deal with it on my own,” Lily said.
“Are you completely nuts?” Care stared at her.
“What?” Lily looked nonplussed.
“Do you have any idea how stupid I’d have to be to give you two months of painkillers?” Care asked. “I hate prescribing more than a few days.”
“Why?” Lily asked.
“Because they’re strong opiates,” Care said. “The kind that get misused.”
A slow-forming smile dawned over Lily’s face. “I don’t believe this.” She broke into giggles. “I’m dying here, and you’re worried about me being a junkie?”
“No.” Dr. Care thought for a moment. “In your case, that’s really not what I’m most worried about.”
“Then what?”
“What if I do write that prescription?” Care leaned back in her chair. “And what if, a few days later, somepony finds you dead next to an empty prescription bottle?”
They both said nothing for a long time.
“I don’t know.” Lily shrugged. Her voice was quiet. “What if I did? Wouldn’t that be my choice to make? What if... what if I thought about it, and it was for the best?”
“What would it make me if I wrote it, knowing that?” asked Care.
Uncomfortable silence hung heavily.
“Look, I don’t have time for hypothetical questions.” Lily snorted. “Here’s the thing: either you’ll write a prescription, or you won’t. Either help me spend my last days without pain, or don’t. Just tell me which one, so at least I know.”
The two of them stared at each other, locking eyes for several long seconds.
“Please.” Lily reached out and put her hoof on Dr. Care’s.
Dr. Care hesitated. Her face gradually softened and she let out a resigned sigh. She pulled her prescription pad in front of her and stared down at it for a little while, thinking.
Slowly, she started writing.
“Here.” She slid the sheet across her desk. “Two months’ worth, so you won’t need refills. Directions are on the scrip. Read them. I’m writing a note in your patient file that you’ve followed previous prescriptions closely, and that I have every confidence you will this time. Got it?”
“Thank you,” Lily whispered.
“They’re stronger than what you’re on now,” Care noted. “And they’re dangerous respiratory depressants at high doses. Five or six could be lethal. Ten or more, no question—you’d pass out and never wake up. So don’t OD.”
“I’ll definitely be careful.” Lily nodded.
“Good. I guess we’re done, if there’s nothing else I can do for you today.”
“No, I need to get going,” said Lily. “Stuff to get in order. Ponies to say things to.”
“Sure.” Care nodded. “I understand.”
“Thanks, Doctor.” Lily turned to leave. “See you around.”
“Hey, good luck with everything. Remember,—”
“Follow the directions, yeah,” said Lily. “I will. I will.”
“It wouldn’t cure me, though.” Lily Valley stared from across the desk.
“No,” replied Dr. Primary Care, with frustration in her voice. “We’ve been over this in your previous appointments. There’s no cure. Only management to help get you as much time as possible.”
“How much time?”
“Probably about another year.”
“All in the hospital?” Lily asked.
“Yes.”
“Then what good is that?”
“It’s another year.” Care spoke slowly, belaboring the obvious.
“No, I get that, but...” Lily rolled a hoof in the air. “I mean, what good would it be?”
“It’s time you wouldn’t have otherwise.”
“How long would I have otherwise?” Lily asked.
“Looking at these function tests and your bloodwork... six weeks. Maybe two months.”
“So I can live for two months, or I can spend a year hooked up to IVs and tubes, bored out of my mind, trapped in someplace everypony hates.”
“I understand, it’s frustrating—”
“How many times have you been terminally diagnosed?” Lily asked. “How many times have you been here, where I am now? In some doctor’s office like this—” she waved a hoof around in a wide arc, “—with somepony sitting across from you, telling you that you have a... a thing, or whatever... and you have two months?”
“...Never,” Care admitted.
“Oh. Never. Right.” Lily leaned forward. “So I don’t think you do understand.”
“Okay, maybe I don’t know how you feel.” Care sighed. “But I understand medical facts, and I understand this, Ms. Valley: your condition is painful. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to get worse. If nothing else, in-patient palliative care could at least make you comfortable.”
“So give me two months of pain meds, and I’ll deal with it on my own,” Lily said.
“Are you completely nuts?” Care stared at her.
“What?” Lily looked nonplussed.
“Do you have any idea how stupid I’d have to be to give you two months of painkillers?” Care asked. “I hate prescribing more than a few days.”
“Why?” Lily asked.
“Because they’re strong opiates,” Care said. “The kind that get misused.”
A slow-forming smile dawned over Lily’s face. “I don’t believe this.” She broke into giggles. “I’m dying here, and you’re worried about me being a junkie?”
“No.” Dr. Care thought for a moment. “In your case, that’s really not what I’m most worried about.”
“Then what?”
“What if I do write that prescription?” Care leaned back in her chair. “And what if, a few days later, somepony finds you dead next to an empty prescription bottle?”
They both said nothing for a long time.
“I don’t know.” Lily shrugged. Her voice was quiet. “What if I did? Wouldn’t that be my choice to make? What if... what if I thought about it, and it was for the best?”
“What would it make me if I wrote it, knowing that?” asked Care.
Uncomfortable silence hung heavily.
“Look, I don’t have time for hypothetical questions.” Lily snorted. “Here’s the thing: either you’ll write a prescription, or you won’t. Either help me spend my last days without pain, or don’t. Just tell me which one, so at least I know.”
The two of them stared at each other, locking eyes for several long seconds.
“Please.” Lily reached out and put her hoof on Dr. Care’s.
Dr. Care hesitated. Her face gradually softened and she let out a resigned sigh. She pulled her prescription pad in front of her and stared down at it for a little while, thinking.
Slowly, she started writing.
“Here.” She slid the sheet across her desk. “Two months’ worth, so you won’t need refills. Directions are on the scrip. Read them. I’m writing a note in your patient file that you’ve followed previous prescriptions closely, and that I have every confidence you will this time. Got it?”
“Thank you,” Lily whispered.
“They’re stronger than what you’re on now,” Care noted. “And they’re dangerous respiratory depressants at high doses. Five or six could be lethal. Ten or more, no question—you’d pass out and never wake up. So don’t OD.”
“I’ll definitely be careful.” Lily nodded.
“Good. I guess we’re done, if there’s nothing else I can do for you today.”
“No, I need to get going,” said Lily. “Stuff to get in order. Ponies to say things to.”
“Sure.” Care nodded. “I understand.”
“Thanks, Doctor.” Lily turned to leave. “See you around.”
“Hey, good luck with everything. Remember,—”
“Follow the directions, yeah,” said Lily. “I will. I will.”
I liked this one. But, I'm sorry to say, it was just too dark, and tried to deal with a complicated subject too easily, for me to love it. I don't necessarily think the characters were wrong, but they seem to have made a very heavy decision far too quickly.
Other than that.. not much to say. It handles the subtext well; it's obvious what's going on, but it doesn't feel like it's clubbing the reader over the head with it, either.
Writing these reviews solo makes them feel so short. Wish I had more to say.
Other than that.. not much to say. It handles the subtext well; it's obvious what's going on, but it doesn't feel like it's clubbing the reader over the head with it, either.
Writing these reviews solo makes them feel so short. Wish I had more to say.
Well, this is probably as morbid as you can get with the prompt without taking it literally.
I'm afraid it didn't work for me, though. The choice between a longer, duller life and a more exciting, shorter life is a very delicate subject. And one I don't particularly find interesting. Both sides of the argument have valid points, and I'd personally stand behind either decision if one my my friends were in such a situation, but I don't really care to think about it too much beyond that.
But regardless of whether or not it's interesting to me, the important question is does it convey its message well? Ehh... it felt a little too anviliscious to me, but only just. Certainly not Sinfest levels, but more than 0. Probably could be removed with some fine tuning. And that may just be because it's a subject I don't like, so I'd take this with a grain of salt and see what others say before refining it (should you choose to do so).
Verdict: Misaimed.
I'm afraid it didn't work for me, though. The choice between a longer, duller life and a more exciting, shorter life is a very delicate subject. And one I don't particularly find interesting. Both sides of the argument have valid points, and I'd personally stand behind either decision if one my my friends were in such a situation, but I don't really care to think about it too much beyond that.
But regardless of whether or not it's interesting to me, the important question is does it convey its message well? Ehh... it felt a little too anviliscious to me, but only just. Certainly not Sinfest levels, but more than 0. Probably could be removed with some fine tuning. And that may just be because it's a subject I don't like, so I'd take this with a grain of salt and see what others say before refining it (should you choose to do so).
Verdict: Misaimed.
Is it better to live long or live well? This faces the issue well, though it’s clear where the author’s sympathy lies. I enjoyed this, and it can only benefit from more space for greater nuance.
Only one issue: a proper doctor would give Lily the option of palliative care if the difference were a matter of months, because choosing not to have futile life-extending care is a completely valid option. It's appropriate to have the doctor balk at the assisted-suicide idea, but she has no business whatsoever trying to push the patient into comprehensive treatment.
Lily is diagnosed with an incurable disease. She has two months to live – a year, if she’s hospitalized. She doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life in the hospital, so just wants some pain meds.
But the doctor is skeptical. Giving her two months of meds all at once, she could easily OD on them.
But Lily wants to live the rest of her life without pain, however short that might be…
I appreciated the heavy subject matter here. My biggest concern, however, is that the doctor simply reversed themselves too quickly. Not that I can't buy that the character would do that - there's a reason places legalize assisted suicide - but in this case, the doctor pretty much reversed themselves on the spot, immediately after bringing it up, which felt a bit out of place. The doctor feeling uncomfortable with it was entirely legitimate and justified, and I didn't really feel like it got played out quite far enough there.
But the doctor is skeptical. Giving her two months of meds all at once, she could easily OD on them.
But Lily wants to live the rest of her life without pain, however short that might be…
I appreciated the heavy subject matter here. My biggest concern, however, is that the doctor simply reversed themselves too quickly. Not that I can't buy that the character would do that - there's a reason places legalize assisted suicide - but in this case, the doctor pretty much reversed themselves on the spot, immediately after bringing it up, which felt a bit out of place. The doctor feeling uncomfortable with it was entirely legitimate and justified, and I didn't really feel like it got played out quite far enough there.
On the first part of their discussion, I hear most doctors tend to choose similarly to Lily when in that situation. Not sure if they'd actually admit it to a patient, though.
I liked the last few lines of this fic, the way it ended. Even after the issue had been settled, it still lingers between the two uncomfortably. Much stronger than ending it instantly.
I liked the last few lines of this fic, the way it ended. Even after the issue had been settled, it still lingers between the two uncomfortably. Much stronger than ending it instantly.
I'm having one of those moments of cognitive dissonance that others seem to get when a pony story pops up during an original fic round. To what extent is this really a pony story? Swap hooves for hands and rename them to Donna and Susan and this scans 100% as a short original piece.
That being said, I'll echo what >>TitaniumDragon said about the reversal coming much too quickly. My biggest issue there is that it undermines the doctor's already limited (due to story length) character development. It's a shame, because otherwise the piece does a good job of selling the doctor's internal conflict.
That being said, I'll echo what >>TitaniumDragon said about the reversal coming much too quickly. My biggest issue there is that it undermines the doctor's already limited (due to story length) character development. It's a shame, because otherwise the piece does a good job of selling the doctor's internal conflict.
I do like this one, but the biggest issue is there isn't any pony in it. I mean, it's already been noted, but I want to re-stress it; there's nothing grounding this in Equestria at all, which means it'd function better in an OF round. Still, despite that it's a relatively strong piece, just...arguably dragged down by trying to set it in Equestria when it would shine stronger with ordinary humans.
>>Morning Sun
Why would the dilemma be any stronger with people than ponies?
It seems like it is equally workable as either. It doesn't really seem to require anything pony, but it doesn't really require anything human, either.
Why would the dilemma be any stronger with people than ponies?
It seems like it is equally workable as either. It doesn't really seem to require anything pony, but it doesn't really require anything human, either.
>>TitaniumDragon
I think it actually works better as a pony story. it's just about "background pony from Ponyville" and "doctor pony", two caricatures living in a happy fantasy land. they can talk candidly about this serious subject matter because they're just cartoons. nothing too complicated going on in their lives, so they can make these big decisions within 750 words.
I'm imagining replacing them with humans, and I immediately get too distracted by the messengers to receive the message. I'd wonder what Lily's backstory is, and what her current life is like. does she have friends or family to spend her last days with? what's the doctor's backstory, and why did she decide on her career? what's her political views? what are the real-life ethical laws that apply here? whew, too much for me.
I think it actually works better as a pony story. it's just about "background pony from Ponyville" and "doctor pony", two caricatures living in a happy fantasy land. they can talk candidly about this serious subject matter because they're just cartoons. nothing too complicated going on in their lives, so they can make these big decisions within 750 words.
I'm imagining replacing them with humans, and I immediately get too distracted by the messengers to receive the message. I'd wonder what Lily's backstory is, and what her current life is like. does she have friends or family to spend her last days with? what's the doctor's backstory, and why did she decide on her career? what's her political views? what are the real-life ethical laws that apply here? whew, too much for me.
>>TitaniumDragon
I think she means that adding ponies to the story just makes it more confusing and audience-selective, as well as bringing in drama to a show that's normally not this dramatic so it feels like it's plunked into the wrong genre with nothing else tying it in.
I didn't see that initially, but she's right. It's a good story, but apart from using Lily (in a rather out of character manner) it doesn't have any connection to the show.
I think she means that adding ponies to the story just makes it more confusing and audience-selective, as well as bringing in drama to a show that's normally not this dramatic so it feels like it's plunked into the wrong genre with nothing else tying it in.
I didn't see that initially, but she's right. It's a good story, but apart from using Lily (in a rather out of character manner) it doesn't have any connection to the show.
>>TitaniumDragon
Because there's nothing in here that makes ponies relevant. The layer of abstraction is unnecessary and I would argue detracts, whereas having people makes it more directly relevant. We are unlikely to ever be talking horses discussing end of life care, but with humans, that conversation happens all the time.
Because there's nothing in here that makes ponies relevant. The layer of abstraction is unnecessary and I would argue detracts, whereas having people makes it more directly relevant. We are unlikely to ever be talking horses discussing end of life care, but with humans, that conversation happens all the time.
I'm not writing reviews directly in the WriteOff site so I don't have access to what others said, but I faintly remember someone mentioning you tackle here a surprisingly serious subject. I’ll add this one touches me personally, as I was bound to make the same choice you describe here for my father ten years ago when he was dying of cancer (except on this occasion both me and the medic were in tune). But enough with the personal drama. The name of the Doctor seems ridiculous and does not fit into what you present as a dramatic scene. And yeah, your depiction of opioids is quite correct.
It’s very difficult for me to rank this story properly, because I’m of two minds: is that a true pony story, or is that a general fic that you varnished with a pony lustre just to be able to sneak it in this round? I would tend towards the latter. There's hardly any pony thing here: both your characters are OC, no world interaction nor canon character. So, apart from the ludicrous and ad hoc name of the medic, this is basically a conversation between two humans in an office.
So, to sum up, a dramatic, if classical, conundrum. I will abstain, though: off topic.
It’s very difficult for me to rank this story properly, because I’m of two minds: is that a true pony story, or is that a general fic that you varnished with a pony lustre just to be able to sneak it in this round? I would tend towards the latter. There's hardly any pony thing here: both your characters are OC, no world interaction nor canon character. So, apart from the ludicrous and ad hoc name of the medic, this is basically a conversation between two humans in an office.
So, to sum up, a dramatic, if classical, conundrum. I will abstain, though: off topic.
Love dark fics. Love authors exploring difficult emotions and situations (not that I don't like light-hearted reads, too). Loved this. Pony or not, the conversation between your two characters was great. The truth never had to be said out loud in the end.
With all of that said, her doctor's name was kinda cringeworthy.
With all of that said, her doctor's name was kinda cringeworthy.
Very heavy on the dialogue; leaves me with little visual input. No doubt due to word constrain. For me, the story worked but for the doctor backing down too quickly. Parts of the dialogue make me think assisted suicide isn't legal, or at least would damage the doctor's reputation, so there's far too much at stake for him to give in as quickly as he did.
As for the 'pony isn't relevant' criticism: I didn't mind.
Another word on your opener:
I don't know how common 'in-patient' is, but I had to look it up, and my dictionary says it's a medical term. This threw me off, so the whole line didn't work as a hook.
As for the 'pony isn't relevant' criticism: I didn't mind.
Another word on your opener:
“You need in-patient treatment, and you need it now.”
I don't know how common 'in-patient' is, but I had to look it up, and my dictionary says it's a medical term. This threw me off, so the whole line didn't work as a hook.
Agree with the general sentiment about the doctor’s name. It felt like a placeholder name, the sort of thing you shove in there until you can think of something better.
I’m in two minds about this fic. I truly appreciated the sincere attempt at tackling a heavy subject matter, but I’m just not convinced it works. Again, to echo what others have been saying, the doctor’s reversal happens too quickly, and everything is wrapped up a little too neatly. The moral choice on display in this story is very deep and complex, with no right or wrong answers – there’s simply not enough room for it to breath here.
But to reiterate, it was brave and ambitious, and for that alone I think it deserves a ton of credit.
I’m in two minds about this fic. I truly appreciated the sincere attempt at tackling a heavy subject matter, but I’m just not convinced it works. Again, to echo what others have been saying, the doctor’s reversal happens too quickly, and everything is wrapped up a little too neatly. The moral choice on display in this story is very deep and complex, with no right or wrong answers – there’s simply not enough room for it to breath here.
But to reiterate, it was brave and ambitious, and for that alone I think it deserves a ton of credit.