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Sunset Shimmer and Discord Go BACK TO THE FUTURE
“Hey Sunset. Do you want to come over and have dinner at my place next weekend? My mom and dad would love to meet you!”
Sunset stared down at the text message from Twilight on her phone. She yawned and stretched backwards, balancing her bedroom chair on two legs in the process.
Just what were Twilight’s parents like, anyway? She’d never met their pony counterparts either, so she didn’t have that to go on. Surely the family that had produced either version of Twilight Sparkle had to be an interesting one.
“Well well. You must be the illustrious Sunset Shimmer I’ve heard so much about. Hmm. I’m not going to lie, I kind of expected you to be taller.”
A voice. Unfamiliar, male, and only a few feet away from her. Sunset shrieked, and lost her already precarious balance. She toppled backwards and her head slammed into her carpet with a burst of pain and a bright flash followed by stars.
Sunset groaned, blinking away tears. There was someone there, looming over her. In her bedroom.
“Oof. That’s going to leave a bump.”
Adrenaline coursed through her veins. Sunset rolled towards her bed, her hand questing blindly underneath it. Her fingers coiled around a solid length of wood, and she withdrew her baseball bat from its hiding place. She sprung to her feet, fighting off the wave of nausea that accompanied the sudden movement, and brandished her weapon in front of her. “Stay back!”
“Oh, how fierce! But that just won’t do. What did I ever do to deserve being threatened by a... herring?”
Sunset blinked. “I… what?” She glanced at the man in her bedroom, who seemed entirely too amused with something, then back to her bat. Rather than the comforting heft of maple, a live fish wriggled in her grasp.
“Gaaah!” Sunset exclaimed with dignity, and flung the creature onto the floor, where it flopped about breathlessly. “What the hell is… who are…”
Deep breaths. She needed to get ahold of herself, and focus. She turned her attention back to the stranger, and finally got a good look at him.
Tall, dark, though she wouldn’t call him handsome. A curled white goatee. A purple tophat. A brown vest over some sort fashion disaster that would leave Rarity begging the gods for mercy, each pant leg a different garish color. An arrogant smirk that suggested he thought of himself as the most important person anywhere.
The puzzle began to take shape in Sunset’s mind. She didn’t have any personal experience, but she’d heard more than enough stories from Princess Twilight. There was only one being that could ever fit a description like this.
“Aha! I know that look in your eyes. You have heard of me!” The man swept his hat off of his head, and bowed deeply. “Discord, formerly evil now reformed draconequus of chaos, at your service!”
Sunset glanced down at the fish on her floor. It had transformed back into a bat, though she noted it now had a tiny little symbol of a fish painted on the handle. Another deep breath, and her heartbeat started to slow down. This was going to be an interesting day. “Sunset Shimmer. Charmed. I kind of figured that I’d get around to meeting you eventually, but this wasn’t exactly what I expected.”
Discord laughed. “If I did something expected, then I wouldn’t really be me, would I?” He snapped his fingers, vanished, and reappeared on her bed, now wearing a pair of heart spotted pajamas, his hair done up in pigtails. “I was off to annoy Princess Twilight, but she wasn’t in, and she took Spike with her, and Starlight was there but blech, no thank you. And wouldn’t you know, there’s a portal to another world just sitting there. With all the hype I’ve heard about Sunset Shimmer, I figured I might as well pop over and see what all the fuss was about. So let’s have ourselves a girls night in, braid each other's hair, and talk about the boys we like.” Discord flashed an almost innocent smile, and batted his eyelashes.
“Uh-huh.” Sunset snickered, then righted her fallen chair and sat down backwards. “Alright, yeah, sure. Let’s rock.”
“And then we can go to the mall, buy matching outfits, and maybe go smoke beneath the bleachers, and…” Discord stopped, his appearance shifting back to normal. “Wait, what?”
“You want to hang out, right? Let’s do it.” Sunset steepled her fingers underneath her chin, and grinned. “I grew up on legends of the big bad scary Discord, you know. And I’ve heard so many stories about your whacky shenanigans from Twilight, it almost feels like I already know you. I’d love to see some of it firsthand.” The pendant around Sunset’s neck pulsed with a quiet hum of power, and she reached up to brush her fingers against it. “Plus, your magic apparently works here, and I am all about that.”
“Huh.” Discord scratched at his chin. “Normally if I want to engage in even the most meager of shenanigans, it takes a lot of needling and cajoling to get anyone to go along with it. Are you telling me you actually want to get up to mischief with me?”
Sunset shrugged. “I’ve got nothing else going on this weekend. Next week I have dinner with Twilight’s parents to look forward to, but right now? Empty schedule, and was probably just going to spend all day reading or something.”
“Well. If you insist.” Discord stood up and straightened his vest, his grin stretching impossibly wide. “I’ll make sure to give you an adventure… that’s to die for.” The shadows in the room darkened, framing his features in a sinister light, and he chuckled evilly, an added reverberation effect bouncing off of the walls.
“Nice.” Sunset gave a low whistle, and nodded appreciatively at the special effects. “You see, if I could have done that when I was younger, I wouldn’t have had to spend hours in front of a mirror practicing my evil laugh.”
Discord barked a short laugh, his intonation betraying genuine humor. “Alright, coming here was definitely a good idea. Tell me, what’s this about Twilight’s parents?”
“Huh? Oh, right.” Sunset glanced down at her phone, and she remembered she still had to actually answer the text message. “Twilight wants me to come eat dinner and meet her parents. I’ll go of course, but meeting parents always feels weird to me. Like I’m some sort of intruder in their nice and quiet home life, you know?”
“Well, I can’t really say that I do know.” Discord furrowed his brow, then snapped his fingers and a light bulb went off over his head. “Aha! I know. How about I give you a chance to interact with them before any of that family stuff, sort of a trial run, hmm?”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at, but sure, I’m down for whatever.”
“Perfect. I just need to stop by my place and grab a few things first.” Discord swung open the door to Sunset’s bedroom. Instead of the expected hallway, a swirling blue and white portal pulsed. “Ladies first.”
A small twinge of fear flickered in Sunset’s heart, but she stamped it down. Of all the things she knew about Discord from Twilight, the most important was that no matter what he blustered about, he was ultimately harmless. It was bound to be a wild ride, and Sunset Shimmer was a woman who grabbed life with her teeth. She grinned, and stepped into the unknown.
The unknown turned out to be a normal living room. At least, what appeared to be one at first glance. Closer inspection revealed crooked furniture, upside down paintings, and staircases that would make Escher proud.
“Don’t mind me,” Discord said, brushing past her. “I just need to pack for our little trip.” He ducked into another room, and an absurd amount of shirts and pants and underwear began to fly past in a hurricane of packing. “Oh, wherever did I put that third toothbrush?”
Sunset smiled, then turned to peer out the window. The “house” seemed to be floating on a large rock in the middle of the void. A smaller rock a little ways away held a mailbox, and chained to it appeared to be a dog in an astronaut suit, furtively trying to pick up the newspaper, but unable to with its helmet.
A glance out another window revealed a great, unblinking eyeball staring back at her.
She waved.
“That oughta do it.” Discord popped back into the living room, now wearing a long lab coat, his white hair spiked up in different directions, and a pair of goggles on his forehead. “What do you think? Just screams, ‘mad scientist’, right?”
Sunset gave a thumbs up. “At least twenty percent madder than Twilight. So, where we going?”
Discord cackled. “Oh, my dear, it's not where we’re going. It’s when. He held up a small, vaguely gun shaped device, with a blue light bulb sticking out at the top. He pointed it at the floor, and a burst of light opened up a swirling blue portal on the ground. “Are you ready, to go back?”
“I already stepped through one portal on faith, didn’t I?” Sunset leaned over the edge, peering down. “Do we just jump in!”
“That’s right!” Discord tugged on his lapels, and cracked his neck. “Geronimo!” He dove headfirst into the portal. It splashed energy about as if it were water, and a small chorus held up a series of olympic score cards.
Sunset chuckled, then took a deep breath and jumped in herself.
Rather than an instantaneous transport like the previous portal, she fell. Through some sort of iridescent, swirling mass of energy, faster and faster. There didn’t seem to be any upward limit to her speed. Her skin itched, and her perception seemed to stretch. She flew past Discord, who was cackling madly, some sort of specific number about how fast they were going, though she couldn’t quite make it out.
Her consciousness fled.
Sunset’s mind's eye floated down a quiet suburban street, giving her a bird's eye view of a sleepy city. Somewhere she could hear music, something full of cheesy synthesized piano and a man crooning about the power of love. She began to descend into some sort of main street, a large plaza complete with a fountain, and surrounded by various small businesses. It was somewhere in Canterlot, she realized, but she hardly recognized any of the stores.
She came back into herself on the ground, and blinked, her perception restored to its regular body. She was standing on a sidewalk, and could hear the general hum of civilization around her. Someone rushed past her, a teenager riding a skateboard, with spiky hair and a sleeveless jean-jacket. “So, where is this exactly?”
“This, my dear,” Discord said, stepping up beside her. He gestured grandly around them. “Is the Eighties!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to mean something?”
Discord blinked. “You know. The Eighties? The period of time between nineteen-eighty and nineteen-eighty-nine? Full of too much denim and leg warmers and an uncomfortable fetish for synthesizers?”
“It’s not like I was in them, you know.” Sunset rested her thumbs in her pockets, glancing around at the various pedestrians milling about the plaza. His words seemed to ring true about the fashion, at least.
“Of course you weren’t. But they’re an entire decade of pop culture! Surely you’ve at least caught onto some of it in all that mindless entertainment you consume.”
Sunset shrugged. “I only really watch movies on movie nights with the girls. I guess the aesthetic looks kind of familiar, now that you mention it. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash love picking movies that look like this. But I wasn’t really aware that the ‘Eighties’ were a big deal. And where the hell is that music coming from?”
“Bah.” Discord sighed and snapped his fingers, and the music cut off. “Well, so much for this being a nostalgia trip. Maybe I should’ve gone and bugged Pinkie Pie instead. Oh well, might as well make the best of it. Come on, let’s go look around. Who knows, maybe we’ll find something interesting! Or… someone?”
So this was what Canterlot Square looked like thirty years ago. A lot of the architecture was still intact, but not a single business from this time period had apparently survived. Sunset made her way towards a building on the corner, that had a large bright green neon sign spelling out ‘AR ADE’.
A wave of electronic beeps and whistles greeted her when she pushed the door open, along with an unenthusiastic grunt from the employee managing the front desk. Dozens of arcade cabinets were lined up, each full of pixelated blobs that darted around the screen eating or shooting other pixelated blobs, and a musk of stale pizza and fountain soda hung in the air.
Pinkie Pie would definitely have had a field day with this. Sunset walked through the establishment, taking in the sights, admiring the fevered concentration in which the various groups of teenagers got lost in the zone, or took turns and cheered each other on.
A snippet of a nearby conversation made its way to Sunset’s ear.
“Come on, babe. You should go to the school dance with me.”
“Don’t call me babe, Slug. And I already said no, how many times will it take for it to get through that thick skull of yours?”
“I’m the quarterback, and the tallest, coolest, strongest guy in school. Give me one good reason why not.”
“Well…”
Someone darted towards Sunset, and grabbed her hand. She leaned in close, and whispered, “Play along, please?” The stranger turned back towards the other speaker, and loudly proclaimed, “Because I’m actually a lesbian! Sorry Slug, but unless you get a lot curvier, it’ll just never happen.”
Sunset blinked, and she could hear Discord snickering from somewhere behind her. She glanced down at the girl, who seemed to be around the same age as her. Her eyes met Sunset’s with a pleading expression. Sunset turned to the unwanted paramour, a great neanderthal of a man with orange hair, muted blue skin, and a letter jacket. He seemed familiar somehow.
Slug scratched at his head, comprehension slowly dawning behind his vacant expression. “Wait… you only like girls?”
Well, it would be an easy enough role to play. Sunset threw her arm around the woman’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Sorry bud. One hundred percent grade A carpet munchers here. You’ll have to bark up some other tree.”
The woman nodded emphatically, and whispered, “Thanks.”
Sunset squeezed in acknowledgement.
It took a subjective eternity for Slug to process this new truth to his worldview, but eventually a somewhat perverted expression settled over his lumpy face, and he leered at them. “Prove it.”
“We don’t have to—” the woman began.
“Alright.” Sunset licked her lips.
“Wait, what—”
Sunset grabbed her cheek, ran a thumb across it, then leaned in to press their lips together.
The woman squeaked, and practically melted in Sunset’s arms.
“Woah,” Slug muttered.
Sunset came up for air, the very redfaced woman hanging onto her limply. She smirked at Slug. “That’s the only show you get, big guy. Now, I’ll trust that you’ll leave my lady alone from now on. Otherwise you’ll have to answer to me. Got it?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Slug swallowed, blushing furiously. “I have to go, uh, return some video tapes.” Taking one last glance back at the two of them, he shuffled off with an awkward gait.
Sunset pulled away from the stranger, and smiled. “Hey. You alright?”
“I, uh, yeah.” The woman giggled, and tugged at her collar, fidgeting a bit. “That was pretty… wow.” Pale lavender hair with a white streak running through it poofed out from her head in some sort of glamorous perm, and she wore an oversized zebra print sweater, and, as Discord had promised, leg warmers.
Just what the hell was wrong with this decade?
Sunset rubbed at the back of her head. “Sorry, I guess I don’t half ass it when I’m asked to play a bit.”
“Mmm.” The woman stepped a bit closer. She smelled like lilacs. “I don’t mind, really. You’re a good kisser.” She glanced back towards the door Slug had left out of, and giggled again. “I guess I do also like boys, but it’s a wide world, why limit yourself, you know?” She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward while biting her lip. “I don’t suppose you’d actually like to take me to the dance tomorrow?”
“Well…” Sunset looked around for Discord. He seemed to be heavily involved in destroying the high score on an arcade game in front of a gawking crowd of small children. He glanced back at her and gave her the thumbs up. “Maybe. I’m actually from out of town, and I’m not quite sure how long I’ll be staying. But if I’m around for it, sure, why not?”
“Great! That’s great! I’ll give you my... “ The woman’s eyes grew wide, and she smacked herself in the forward. “Oh no! I can’t believe I asked you out, and I never even told you my name! I’m Twilight. Twilight Velvet. It’s really nice to meet you!”
All of the color drained from Sunset’s face, and her blood ran ice cold. “I’m, um… Sunset. Sunset Shimmer.”
“Sunset. That’s a nice name. Kind of like mine, if you think about it.” Twilight Velvet smiled mischievously. “I really dig your style, by the way. Very unique.” She fumbled around in her purse until she pulled out a pen and notepad, and scribbled a number. “Here’s my number. I’d better get going, but call and let me know, okay? Just don’t uh, tell my Dad about the whole lesbian thing, he’ll get weird about it.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. I’ll, uh, see you around, I guess. Later.” Sunset’s mouth felt dry as ash, and she fought back to urge to empty her stomach as she watched her best friends mother walk out the door, the lingering scent of her perfume still tickling her nose.
“Bravo, bravo!” Discord walked out of the sidelines with a round of applause. He had acquired a director's hat at some point. “An absolutely stunning performance, Miss Shimmer. You should be in Hollywood, you know. And to think, such a beautiful young woman interested in you just like that. Not bad for our little adventure, eh?”
Sunset grit her teeth and clenched her fists. “This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind in terms of meeting Twilight’s parents.
Discord placed a hand over his heart, looking offended. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not the one who makes a habit of snogging complete strangers because some bozo can’t take a hint.” He smirked, and adjusted his lab coat. “Not my fault you’re apparently really good at it, either.”
“What if I just ruined everything?” Sunset tugged on her hair, and started pacing about. “What if me being here somehow ruined their relationship, and makes it so Twilight was never born, meaning I would never come back here with you, and then there’s a paradox!”
“Oh please.” Discord rolled his eyes. He pounded an out of order arcade cabinet with his fist, and it lit up, displaying a chalkboard full of all sorts of diagrams and insanely complicated equations. “There’s no such thing as a Paradox. The universe is chaotic, my dear. A paradox is a mortal concept, an attempt to instill order on something that doesn’t make any sense to begin with. Do whatever you want, make out with your friends’ mothers, become your own grandmother. The universe doesn’t care! It’ll just keep trucking along, inconsistencies and all.”
“That’s…” Sunset felt dizzy, and she rested against a nearby pillar. “Ugh, I need to sit down.”
Discord shrugged, and the arcade cabinet went back to normal. “Well, I know a great place to get a milkshake around here…”
Sunset stared at the checkered floors and red leather seats as she sipped on her chocolate milkshake. It was pretty amazing, all things considered.
“See? I told you.” Discord now wore a tight white t-shirt, his hair slicked up into a pompadour. “It’s a retro diner! In the eighties, pretending it was in the fifties!”
“Mmmhmm.” Some sort of love song popped over the radio, slow and bouncy, something about angels. It kept putting all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts into her head, and she tried her best to just focus on her milkshake instead.
Discord sighed. “Come now, this won’t be any fun if you’re just going to get all glum about it.” He tapped his finger on the table several times, then his eyes lit up. “Aha! I know how you can fix your little… predicament.”
Sunset looked up, slurping the dregs of her shake through her straw. “What’s that?”
“You’re not the only one here who’s down in the dumps.” Discord gestured to the corner of the diner, where a young man with a dark combover sat, wearing a striped button up tucked into his khakis. He stared into his own milkshake, looking about equally glum as Sunset currently felt. “Do you know who he is?”
“Let me guess.” Sunset rubbed at her temples. “Twilight’s dad? Do you want me to go make out with him too?”
Discord shrugged. “Well, that’s not the approach I’d take, but hey, it’s a free country. He might be pretty into it.” Discord waggled his eyebrows, then chuckled. “But yes. That there is the illustrious future father of Miss Sparkle, Night Light. He’s currently brooding because he’s madly in love with a girl, but he doesn’t have the courage to ask her out. Such a shame. Might not get anywhere, at this rate.”
Well, that left her course of action pretty obvious. A quick romantic pep talk and she could set everything right with the universe once more. Sunset stood up, wiped at her mouth with a napkin, then swaggered over to Night Light and sat across the table from him. “Hey.”
“Huh?” Night Light blinked, then looked up at Sunset. “Um, hi. Who are you?”
“Sunset Shimmer.” Sunset shook his hand vigorously, then leaned back in the booth and grinned. “You look like someone with a problem, who could use someone like me to listen and offer some helpful advice.”
Night Light narrowed his eyes. “Is this some kind of trick? You get me to open my heart only to spill gossip all over school later?”
“Yikes. Guess you’ve been burned before.” Sunset waved her hand dismissively. “No trick, I promise. I’m from out of town, and won’t be staying long. Just a wandering, altruistic soul with a soft spot for the depressed and lonely. With any luck, I’ll move on, and it’ll be like I was never here at all.”
“Huh. You do kind of look like you’re not from around here.” Night Light rested his chin on his palm and sighed. “Gee, I dunno. Even if you’re telling the truth, I don’t know that you can do much to help me.”
“It’s about a girl, right?”
“Yeah…” Night Light sighed again, and stared forlornly out the window. “Most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. There’s just something about here that's so… captivating. It’s almost like it was magic. Destiny or something. But that’s probably just nonsense. There’s no way she’d want to go out with a loser like me. Just the other day I saw her turn down Slug, and he’s the quarterback! What chance do I have?”
Sunset smiled and shook her head. “You might be more right than you know. Destiny works in mysterious ways and all that jazz. I’d be willing to bet good money that if you ask her out, she’d say yes.” Sunset would of course have to figure out how to gently turn Velvet down, but it couldn’t be too hard. “You two would make a great couple. Might even get married, have a couple of successful kids.”
Night Light blushed, a distant look in his eyes. “You… you really think so?”
“I know so.” Sunset flashed what she hoped was her most convincing grin.
A poodle skirt fluttered in Sunset’s peripheral vision, and one of the waitresses skidded to a stop on her roller blades, which they apparently wore here for some reason. “Heya there, Nighty-Lighty! Glad to see you again today. Do you want the usual or what?” she asked in a familiar, bubbly sing song.
“Hey Sonata,” Night Light said, looking up at the waitress with a dreamy sigh.
Sunset’s blood ran ice cold for the second time that day.
“So that’s a double chocolate milkshake with extra whip cream, right? Anything for your lady friend here?” Sonata Dusk asked. She didn’t look a day younger than the last time Sunset had seen the siren, and while dressed in some sort of ridiculous getup on rollerblades, her necklace was intact and around her neck, filled with a soft inner light that set off a tickling sensation in the back of Sunset’s brain.
“Oh, n-no, she’s not my, uh, girlfriend, or anything,” Night Light stuttered. “She’s actually, uh, a complete stranger.” He stood up, suddenly, slamming his hands on the table, and took a deep breath. “Listen, Sonata, there’s something I wanted to ask you…”
Crap crap crap. Sunset had to stop this. But how? Tackle Sonata? Loudly proclaim that she was Night Light’s girlfriend, and make out with him to prove the point? While that might technically salvage the current situation, it would just make things even worse in the long run, and she really didn’t want to have to look Twilight in the eye after kissing both of her parents. One was going to be bad enough.
“Sure, ask away!”
Crap. Time for deliberation was running out. Sunset glanced over her shoulder at Discord, silently begging for help. He looked mildly confused, and shrugged. Damnit. Screw it, she could just kiss first and ask questions later.
“Actually he is—”
“Sonata Dusk will you please go to the dance with me!” Night Light shouted, interrupting Sunset’s own outburst before it could gain any purchase.
Sonata giggled, and tapped at her chin with her pencil. “Hmm. I think you’re like the twentieth guy to ask me to that dance so far.”
Night Light blanched, and he sank downwards somewhat. “Oh. Is, uh, that so?”
Sunset let out a sigh of relief.
“But okay, sure, it sounds like fun! My sisters left on a trip while I’m stuck watching the house, so I’m pretty hungry. Pick me up at eight.”
“Really? You mean it?” Night Light’s eyes lit up, and he punched his fist into the air. “Wowza! This is going to be so heavy!”
Sunset groaned, and slumped down onto the table. She held up one finger, “Can I get that double choco-whatever too?”
Sonata nodded, and scribbled onto her notepad. “Sure thing, Miss.” She turned to go, then her eyes fell on Sunset, and she froze. She leaned forward, her nostrils flaring. “That’s… a really cute necklace you have there, Miss. Where did you get it?”
“Huh?” Sunset looked up on the siren, then she placed her hand over the geode on her neck. Crap, Sonata could probably sense the magic in it. “Just an, uh, old family heirloom.”
“Hmm.” Sonata peered at her intensely, her eyes glinting with green fire. “Okey-dokey!” She giggled, then spun away, her skates clacking on the tile floor as she rolled back to the kitchen.
Night Light slumped back into his seat. “Holy crap. I actually did it. You were right. It actually worked, I can’t believe it! Thank you so much!”
“Uh-huh. Anytime,” Sunset muttered flatly. She stood up, then started shuffling towards the door.
“Huh? Miss? Um, Sunset, right? Aren’t you going to have your milkshake? It's my treat!”
Sunset didn’t respond, the bell over the door ringing as she made her way outside, the bright sunlight stinging her eyes.
Discord leaned against the side of the building. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“You think this is funny?” Sunset whirled on him, though she couldn’t muster the energy to really be angry.
“Of course I do. I always think chaos is funny.” Discord gave a short bow, then shrugged. “But what do you want from me? I’m not omnipotent after all. How was I supposed to know he was in love with the wrong girl?”
What an utter disaster. It still might be salvageable, but… “What would happen if we just bailed and went home, right now?”
“Who knows? Causality and chaos work in mysterious ways.” He waggled his fingers. “But even if we wanted to, we can’t. The portal gun is out of charge.” He held it up. The lightbulb wasn’t lit. “It should be ready to go in about, say, 28 hours. Which, fancy that, is right after the dance ends! Crazy good timing on these portal guns.”
“Uh-huh.” Sunset knew he was lying, of course. But she’d signed up for this after all, her own little whacky adventure. Just ended up being a bit more personal than she’d expected. There had to be something she could do. She crossed her arms over her chest, and began to pace in circles. “Alright, so, I take Velvet to prom. Show her a good time, but make it clear that I’m not looking for anything long term.”
Discord chuckled. “She’s young. It’s probably just a phase.”
“Sonata’s probably doing this for the snack. Plenty of discontent to feast on at a school dance, though if her sisters really are out of town, she won’t able to stir up much trouble on her own. Night Light is probably charmed by her power, but if we can get her to reveal her evil nature, or maybe dangle something more enticining in front of her…” Sunset clutched at her necklace again. Could she use it as bait somehow? Then it hit her. Sunset snapped her fingers and then pointed at Discord. “You.”
“Me?” Discord gasped. “Whatever part could little old me play in this devious scheme you’re cooking up?”
Sunset nodded, everything coming together in her head. “You’re positively brimming with chaos magic. You go to the dance, disguised as the janitor or something, I don’t know. Spread a little chaos magic around, sow some minor problems and she’ll be on top of you like flies on rotten meat. Night Light will be left in the dust. Dejected, he goes to the punch bowl to drown his sorrows… where I’ve conveniently left my own date. Hopefully they should be able to make that connection on their own, at that point.”
“Brilliant!” Discord applauded, and cackled wildly. “I knew there was a reason we were hanging out together. This is going to be quite devilish.”
“What can I say. I know how to manipulate a dance.” Sunset cracked her knuckles, then stared up at the setting sun. “Guess all we have to do now is wait.”
It was a long wait, filled with a veritable montage of whacky hijinks on the part of Discord, along with what she was sure were a metric ton of pop culture references she didn’t understand. She’d called Velvet, spent thirty minutes listening to Twilight’s grandfather rant and rave about ‘the war’, then managed to arrange what needed to be arranged.
Sunset waited in front of her house, resting against a beast of a motorcycle with a stylized draconequus painted on it. Her own ensemble now included jeans, a lack of sleeves on her leather jacket, and oversized sunglasses, even though it was dark out. Oh well, when in Roan.
Twilight Velvet stepped out the front door, framed by the light in her doorway. She really was rather pretty, if you discounted the neon leggings under some sort of frilly tutu. She smiled and waved at Sunset, turned to shout something at her parents, then made her way over. “Hey,” she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. “That’s a pretty nice bike. I didn’t realize you were cool with a capital K, Sunset.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Her bike hummed appreciatively at the compliment. Sunset kicked it. “You look great, Velvet. You ever ridden one of these things before?”
“Never.” Velvet slid into the seat as if she were a natural, and let out an appreciative sigh. “But there’s a first time for everything, right? And please, call me Twilight.”
“No way in hell,” Sunset muttered under her breath. Sunset climbed onto the bike behind her, and revved the engine. “Hold on tight!” she shouted, then the bike roared as it took off at a metaphorical gallop.
After they’d been on their way for about a minute or so, Sunset cleared her throat. “HEY, LISTEN, I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR.”
Velvet craned her head backwards slightly. “WHAT’S THAT?”
“YOU SEEM LIKE A REALLY NICE GIRL AND ALL, BUT I DON’T WANT TO LEAD YOU ON. I MEANT WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT BEING IN TOWN VERY LONG. THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN AFTER TONIGHT.”
“OH. WELL, I GUESS I KIND OF FIGURED AS MUCH. IT’S OKAY, REALLY. I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU TONIGHT.” Velvet flashed her a smile that someone could easily fall in love with. A lot like Twilight’s smile, in fact. “WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS, RIGHT?”
“RIGHT.” Sunset bit her lip, then leaned into the next curve, and stayed silent for the rest of the drive. They finally pulled up in front of Canterlot High, familiar horse statue still intact. Other couples funneled into the entrance around them. Sunset dismounted, and helped Velvet off the bike, who wobbled and clung to her for support.
“Wow,” Velvet murmured, her cheeks flushed. She cleared her throat, and straightened her skirt. “That was… intense.”
Sunset coughed. “Go on in ahead of me, would you? There’s something I need to take care of real quick.”
Velvet raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure thing. Don’t be too long, though.” She winked, then hurried off towards the doorway.
Once she was out of sight, Sunset glanced around to make sure nobody was paying attention, then knocked twice on the bike.
The bike coughed out a plume of exhaust, then popped back into Discord. He had a rather disgusted look on his face. “Blech. Not doing that one again.” He shook himself like a wet dog, a spray of water misting the area around him.
Sunset stepped back. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, go get ready to perform your creepy janitor act.”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Come now, you can’t be in a rush to get to everything. You have to stay fluid, adapt to any unexpected changes, and enjoy the moment.” He snapped his fingers, and a dull gray jumpsuit replaced his usual outfit, his hair stringy and slicked back. He hunched over, and started pushing a broom along the pavement. “But you’ve got a role to play too, you know.”
She sure did. Sunset popped a tic tac into her mouth, and sighed. She caught a flash of teal hair disappearing into the doorway. Sonata was already here. Time to catch up with her date.
The halls of Canterlot High hadn’t changed much over thirty years, apparently, and it was still the same old route to get to the gymnasium. She scanned the crowd inside, looking for Velvet, only for her to close in from behind and link arms with Sunset. “Come on, let’s dance.”
It wasn’t the type of music Sunset normally liked to dance to. And she was a rather accomplished dancer at that. She’d practiced both ballroom and swing with Rarity on a number of occasions.
Neither of which were apparently in fashion during the eighties. Or at the very least, weren't styles that Velvet knew. Sunset watched Velvet slide back and forth on the dance floor, then act like a robot. Sunset could only shrug, keep her own moves simple, and imitate wherever possible.
She kept an eye on Night Light and Sonata out of the corner of her eye. She seemed to be having fun, and Night Light was completely under her spell. At the very least, she wasn’t actively sowing discontent amongst everyone else.
After a break in the music, it was time to put her plan in action. Sunset groaned, and clutched at her stomach. “Ugh, I think I need to hit the ladies room. Can you wait for me, over there by the punch bowl? Don’t leave there for any reason. I’ll uh, have a surprise for you when I get back.
Velvet shrugged, leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, then made her way over to the punch bowl where she waited patiently.
So far so good. Sunset left the room, then doubled back as soon as she was out of sight. She slipped back into a different entrance of the gym, and ducked behind a pillar. She caught Discord’s attention, who was mopping a corner, and flashed him the signal.
Sunset couldn’t see what he did, but the effect on Sonata was instantaneous. She perked up, head swivelling towards Discord, and she practically dropped Night Light mid spin. She started walking towards him, eyes wide, and nostrils flaring. Discord began to back away, a devilish smirk on his face as he led the siren out of the room like a parasprite.
Night Light was left alone and utterly bewildered. He picked himself up off the ground, brushed dust off his pants, then sighed, and wandered over to the punch bowl.
It was working! Sunset practically squealed with delight. The two soon to be lovers stood side by side near the punch bowl, so close, only a simple conversation starter away from a lifelong commitment and two beautiful children.
Sunset waited, her breath hold. She eventually had to start breathing again with a gasp. A minute passed. Then another. She clenched her teeth. They were just standing there, looking bored. They wouldn’t stand there forever, right? She had to do something, and fast.
“Hey!” Sunset called out, emerging from the pillar. Velvet immediately brightened at her approach.
Sunset yanked the geode off of her neck. “I wanted to show you—whoops!” She hurled the stone at them, making it look as if she’d tripped. It skidded to a stop between both Night Light and Twilight Velvet. “Grab that!” she shouted.
They both ducked down at the same time, their fingers simultaneously brushing against one another and the crystallization of empathetic magic.
Sunset pumped her fist into the air. Both of them had gone rigid, their eyes lighting up as they peered into one another's souls.
The spell was broken in just a few moments, and they slumped away from each other, panting heavily.
“That was…” Velvet muttered, staring into Night Light’s eyes.
“That was…” Night Light licked his lips. “Really weird.”
“Yeah.” Velvet shuddered. “Like, totally not cool. Sunset, is this yours? What is it?” She picked the necklace up by the chain, and held it out.
Night Light cleared his throat. “Sorry.”
Sunset smacked her face with her palm. “No, you two are supposed to—”
“There you are!” Sonata popped out of nowhere, wrapped her arms tightly around Night Light. She had a hungry, crazed look in her eyes. “You wanna… go somewhere a bit more private?”
Night Light looked like he’d just been smacked in the face with a million bucks. “Buuh…”
Sonata started dragging him away.
Velvet giggled. “Cute couple.” She bit her lip, and leaned in a little closer to Sunset. “You know, if you want to follow their example, the library here offers a lot of privacy…”
Sunset suddenly found her throat amazingly dry. She slammed a glass of punch. Where the hell was Discord?
“Psst!”
Sunset leaned down to glance under the table. Discord crouched under there, cowering.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sunset hissed. “You’re supposed to be distracting Sonata!”
Discord shuddered. “That little witch can actually eat my magic! I let her get too close for too long then it's lights out for Daddy D. Sorry, but that plan is a wash.”
Sunset swore, and stood back up. She glanced around the auditorium. Sonata wasn’t far from the exit now. The current song ended. An idea popped into her head. It was time to do something drastic.
“Sunset?” Velvet asked, looking concerned. “Are you alright?”
Sunset snatched her necklace back from Velvet, and clasped it around her neck. “I’ve got to do something. Go stop those two from leaving the gymnasium. Trust me! They’ll want to see this. And you will too.” She leaned in to give Velvet a quick kiss, then dashed off towards the stage.
A hushed conversation and a bribe of all of Sunset’s money—several hundred dollars worth of bills that were most likely printed long after the eighties—saw Sunset standing up on the stage, a guitar slung over her shoulder. Velvet had successfully distracted the annoyed siren and her victim, and all eyes were currently on Sunset.
Sunset cleared her throat. “This is for all you lovers out there. Those of you here tonight with a partner, and…” she let her gaze fall on Velvet and Night Light meaningfully. “Those of you who still have yet to find the one.”
She started to strum her guitar, and the synthesized piano kicked in behind her as the rest of the band played along. “The power of love, is a curious thing!”
She sung her heart into the cheesy eighties ballad. She filled it with every scrap of meaning of purpose she could, hoping to convey a love, a true love, that would bring those destined to be together to each other at lastt. The geode around her neck flared with empathetic magic, and she could feel it course through her. She floated into the air, her ears transforming her, her hair growing longer.
“And that’s the power of love!” Sunset slammed into the ground with a final strum of her guitar, a wave of rainbow energy bursting forth and washing over the crowd.
Her pony ears faded, and she stood up, panting, sweat pouring down her face. The gym had gone silent. Everyone was staring at her, even her fellow bandmates.
“Sunset…” Velvet muttered, her voice cutting through the air. Her eyes were wide, and sparkling with adoration and love.
“Sunset?” “Sunset.” “Sunset!” Her name spread through the crowd like wildfire. A hundred eyes stayed locked to her, each filled with the same kind of adoration and love as Velvet.
Sonata watched from the back and licked her lips, the same hungry expression on her face she’d had when chasing Discord.
“Noooooo,” Sunset moaned into the microphone. The crowd started to shuffle forwards, chanting her name.
Discord leaned in the doorway, and held up the portal gun. The light bulb was blue, and he gestured frantically outside. It was time to go.
Sunset bolted. She leapt off the sage, soaring over the heads of several students, then dodged past the grasping hands of several more and out the door. She sprinted through the halls of Canterlot High, the horde of love-zombies thundering after her.
“You really screwed the pooch on this one,” Discord said, keeping pace with her.
“Bite me,” Sunset sneered. “Let’s just go home.”
“If you say so!”
They made it outside, and Discord tossed her the portal gun, then transformed back into the motorcycle.
Sunset stared at the device, and raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing? We can just use this here, right?” She pointed it at the ground, trying to find the button that would trigger it.
Motorcycle-cord whinneyed. “It won’t work. We have to be going at this bike’s maximum speed before we enter the portal, or else we won’t be able to make it.”
“What? Why? That’s stupid!”
“It’s a lot harder to go up than down!”
The horde of students burst out the doors and began flooding into the courtyard. Sunset growled, hopped on the bike, and gunned it.
They shot down the thankfully empty streets, the speedometer creeping higher and higher. She held the gun steady, pointing in front of the bike. The flaw in their plan became quickly evident, as the courthouse loomed ahead of her at the end of the street. “I’M GOING TO HAVE TO TURN, AND FIND A STRAIGHTER STREET!”
“THERE ISN’T ONE FOR MILES, YOU KNOW THAT. WE CAN MAKE IT, JUST TRUST ME.”
Sunset gripped the accelerator as tightly as she could, and the bike shifted into its highest gear, the engine whining painfully loud. “DAMN YOU, DISCORD!”
“WAIT FOR IT.”
“I DON’T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!”
“HOLD…”
“DISCORD!”
“NOW!”
Sunset clenched the trigger on the portal gun. A blue light flashed and impacted with the wall less than a second before they would have crashed in a spectacular explosion, and they flew into the wormhole instead.
Rather than falling they climbed upwards against whatever gravitational pull wanted to keep them in the eighties, the bikes wheels spinning against the edge of the tunnel. Chaos bike that he was, they eventually started to slow, and came to a stop right before the other edge. Sunset leapt upwards from the bike, her fingertips barely grazing the edge of the portal, and she fell into her own bed in a crumpled heap.
Discord popped into existence after her, collapsing into her chair and wiping the sweat from his brow. “Well then. That was quite the adventure, wasn’t it?”
Sunset groaned and righted herself. Her heart still raced as fast as the bike had been going just a bit ago. “That did technically fall under the definition of adventure, yes.”
“Well? Did you like it? Should I consider you an adventure buddy for the future?” Discord waggled his eyebrows, though she saw genuine hope in his eyes.
“I don’t know.” Sunset took a deep breath. “That depends on whether or not there are lingering permanent consequences I have to deal with.”
“Bah. Well, you’ll get over it, whatever they are. I’ll let you sleep on it. I’m off to go tell this whole story to Princess Twilight, hopefully annoy her to the point where she threatens to turn me into stone again. Ta-ta!”
And just like that, Discord was gone. It could almost be written down as a weird dream, if it weren't for the stylized fish still embossed on her bat.
Sunset pulled her phone out and called Twilight.
“Hello? This is Twilight Sparkle speaking.”
“You have caller ID, nerd, you don’t have to answer so formally. Anyway, your mom and dad are Twilight Velvet and Night Light, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“And they love each other?”
“Of course they do. Why do you ask?”
“How did they meet?”
“Umm…” There was a pause. “If I remember correctly, they met in college. They got assigned together on a group project, and, well, one thing led to another. Um, Sunset? Are you okay? What’s so funny?”
Sunset couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.
The door to Twilight’s house swung open, and a much older Twilight Velvet stood before them. Still quite beautiful, in a motherly sort of way. “Welcome! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Sun…” Recognition sparked in her eyes. Crap. “Well I’ll be. Here I thought the similar names were just some crazy coincidence. But here you are, and you don’t look a day older than you did back then. A part of me thought that night was all just some crazy dream. But I’m sure you’ll be happy to come in and explain everything over a cup of tea, right?”
Twilight blinked, then looked between Sunset and her mother. “Mom? What are you talking about? Sunset? What’s she talking about?”
Sweat poured down the back of Sunset’s neck. She swallowed. “Well…”
Sunset stared down at the text message from Twilight on her phone. She yawned and stretched backwards, balancing her bedroom chair on two legs in the process.
Just what were Twilight’s parents like, anyway? She’d never met their pony counterparts either, so she didn’t have that to go on. Surely the family that had produced either version of Twilight Sparkle had to be an interesting one.
“Well well. You must be the illustrious Sunset Shimmer I’ve heard so much about. Hmm. I’m not going to lie, I kind of expected you to be taller.”
A voice. Unfamiliar, male, and only a few feet away from her. Sunset shrieked, and lost her already precarious balance. She toppled backwards and her head slammed into her carpet with a burst of pain and a bright flash followed by stars.
Sunset groaned, blinking away tears. There was someone there, looming over her. In her bedroom.
“Oof. That’s going to leave a bump.”
Adrenaline coursed through her veins. Sunset rolled towards her bed, her hand questing blindly underneath it. Her fingers coiled around a solid length of wood, and she withdrew her baseball bat from its hiding place. She sprung to her feet, fighting off the wave of nausea that accompanied the sudden movement, and brandished her weapon in front of her. “Stay back!”
“Oh, how fierce! But that just won’t do. What did I ever do to deserve being threatened by a... herring?”
Sunset blinked. “I… what?” She glanced at the man in her bedroom, who seemed entirely too amused with something, then back to her bat. Rather than the comforting heft of maple, a live fish wriggled in her grasp.
“Gaaah!” Sunset exclaimed with dignity, and flung the creature onto the floor, where it flopped about breathlessly. “What the hell is… who are…”
Deep breaths. She needed to get ahold of herself, and focus. She turned her attention back to the stranger, and finally got a good look at him.
Tall, dark, though she wouldn’t call him handsome. A curled white goatee. A purple tophat. A brown vest over some sort fashion disaster that would leave Rarity begging the gods for mercy, each pant leg a different garish color. An arrogant smirk that suggested he thought of himself as the most important person anywhere.
The puzzle began to take shape in Sunset’s mind. She didn’t have any personal experience, but she’d heard more than enough stories from Princess Twilight. There was only one being that could ever fit a description like this.
“Aha! I know that look in your eyes. You have heard of me!” The man swept his hat off of his head, and bowed deeply. “Discord, formerly evil now reformed draconequus of chaos, at your service!”
Sunset glanced down at the fish on her floor. It had transformed back into a bat, though she noted it now had a tiny little symbol of a fish painted on the handle. Another deep breath, and her heartbeat started to slow down. This was going to be an interesting day. “Sunset Shimmer. Charmed. I kind of figured that I’d get around to meeting you eventually, but this wasn’t exactly what I expected.”
Discord laughed. “If I did something expected, then I wouldn’t really be me, would I?” He snapped his fingers, vanished, and reappeared on her bed, now wearing a pair of heart spotted pajamas, his hair done up in pigtails. “I was off to annoy Princess Twilight, but she wasn’t in, and she took Spike with her, and Starlight was there but blech, no thank you. And wouldn’t you know, there’s a portal to another world just sitting there. With all the hype I’ve heard about Sunset Shimmer, I figured I might as well pop over and see what all the fuss was about. So let’s have ourselves a girls night in, braid each other's hair, and talk about the boys we like.” Discord flashed an almost innocent smile, and batted his eyelashes.
“Uh-huh.” Sunset snickered, then righted her fallen chair and sat down backwards. “Alright, yeah, sure. Let’s rock.”
“And then we can go to the mall, buy matching outfits, and maybe go smoke beneath the bleachers, and…” Discord stopped, his appearance shifting back to normal. “Wait, what?”
“You want to hang out, right? Let’s do it.” Sunset steepled her fingers underneath her chin, and grinned. “I grew up on legends of the big bad scary Discord, you know. And I’ve heard so many stories about your whacky shenanigans from Twilight, it almost feels like I already know you. I’d love to see some of it firsthand.” The pendant around Sunset’s neck pulsed with a quiet hum of power, and she reached up to brush her fingers against it. “Plus, your magic apparently works here, and I am all about that.”
“Huh.” Discord scratched at his chin. “Normally if I want to engage in even the most meager of shenanigans, it takes a lot of needling and cajoling to get anyone to go along with it. Are you telling me you actually want to get up to mischief with me?”
Sunset shrugged. “I’ve got nothing else going on this weekend. Next week I have dinner with Twilight’s parents to look forward to, but right now? Empty schedule, and was probably just going to spend all day reading or something.”
“Well. If you insist.” Discord stood up and straightened his vest, his grin stretching impossibly wide. “I’ll make sure to give you an adventure… that’s to die for.” The shadows in the room darkened, framing his features in a sinister light, and he chuckled evilly, an added reverberation effect bouncing off of the walls.
“Nice.” Sunset gave a low whistle, and nodded appreciatively at the special effects. “You see, if I could have done that when I was younger, I wouldn’t have had to spend hours in front of a mirror practicing my evil laugh.”
Discord barked a short laugh, his intonation betraying genuine humor. “Alright, coming here was definitely a good idea. Tell me, what’s this about Twilight’s parents?”
“Huh? Oh, right.” Sunset glanced down at her phone, and she remembered she still had to actually answer the text message. “Twilight wants me to come eat dinner and meet her parents. I’ll go of course, but meeting parents always feels weird to me. Like I’m some sort of intruder in their nice and quiet home life, you know?”
“Well, I can’t really say that I do know.” Discord furrowed his brow, then snapped his fingers and a light bulb went off over his head. “Aha! I know. How about I give you a chance to interact with them before any of that family stuff, sort of a trial run, hmm?”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at, but sure, I’m down for whatever.”
“Perfect. I just need to stop by my place and grab a few things first.” Discord swung open the door to Sunset’s bedroom. Instead of the expected hallway, a swirling blue and white portal pulsed. “Ladies first.”
A small twinge of fear flickered in Sunset’s heart, but she stamped it down. Of all the things she knew about Discord from Twilight, the most important was that no matter what he blustered about, he was ultimately harmless. It was bound to be a wild ride, and Sunset Shimmer was a woman who grabbed life with her teeth. She grinned, and stepped into the unknown.
The unknown turned out to be a normal living room. At least, what appeared to be one at first glance. Closer inspection revealed crooked furniture, upside down paintings, and staircases that would make Escher proud.
“Don’t mind me,” Discord said, brushing past her. “I just need to pack for our little trip.” He ducked into another room, and an absurd amount of shirts and pants and underwear began to fly past in a hurricane of packing. “Oh, wherever did I put that third toothbrush?”
Sunset smiled, then turned to peer out the window. The “house” seemed to be floating on a large rock in the middle of the void. A smaller rock a little ways away held a mailbox, and chained to it appeared to be a dog in an astronaut suit, furtively trying to pick up the newspaper, but unable to with its helmet.
A glance out another window revealed a great, unblinking eyeball staring back at her.
She waved.
“That oughta do it.” Discord popped back into the living room, now wearing a long lab coat, his white hair spiked up in different directions, and a pair of goggles on his forehead. “What do you think? Just screams, ‘mad scientist’, right?”
Sunset gave a thumbs up. “At least twenty percent madder than Twilight. So, where we going?”
Discord cackled. “Oh, my dear, it's not where we’re going. It’s when. He held up a small, vaguely gun shaped device, with a blue light bulb sticking out at the top. He pointed it at the floor, and a burst of light opened up a swirling blue portal on the ground. “Are you ready, to go back?”
“I already stepped through one portal on faith, didn’t I?” Sunset leaned over the edge, peering down. “Do we just jump in!”
“That’s right!” Discord tugged on his lapels, and cracked his neck. “Geronimo!” He dove headfirst into the portal. It splashed energy about as if it were water, and a small chorus held up a series of olympic score cards.
Sunset chuckled, then took a deep breath and jumped in herself.
Rather than an instantaneous transport like the previous portal, she fell. Through some sort of iridescent, swirling mass of energy, faster and faster. There didn’t seem to be any upward limit to her speed. Her skin itched, and her perception seemed to stretch. She flew past Discord, who was cackling madly, some sort of specific number about how fast they were going, though she couldn’t quite make it out.
Her consciousness fled.
Sunset’s mind's eye floated down a quiet suburban street, giving her a bird's eye view of a sleepy city. Somewhere she could hear music, something full of cheesy synthesized piano and a man crooning about the power of love. She began to descend into some sort of main street, a large plaza complete with a fountain, and surrounded by various small businesses. It was somewhere in Canterlot, she realized, but she hardly recognized any of the stores.
She came back into herself on the ground, and blinked, her perception restored to its regular body. She was standing on a sidewalk, and could hear the general hum of civilization around her. Someone rushed past her, a teenager riding a skateboard, with spiky hair and a sleeveless jean-jacket. “So, where is this exactly?”
“This, my dear,” Discord said, stepping up beside her. He gestured grandly around them. “Is the Eighties!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to mean something?”
Discord blinked. “You know. The Eighties? The period of time between nineteen-eighty and nineteen-eighty-nine? Full of too much denim and leg warmers and an uncomfortable fetish for synthesizers?”
“It’s not like I was in them, you know.” Sunset rested her thumbs in her pockets, glancing around at the various pedestrians milling about the plaza. His words seemed to ring true about the fashion, at least.
“Of course you weren’t. But they’re an entire decade of pop culture! Surely you’ve at least caught onto some of it in all that mindless entertainment you consume.”
Sunset shrugged. “I only really watch movies on movie nights with the girls. I guess the aesthetic looks kind of familiar, now that you mention it. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash love picking movies that look like this. But I wasn’t really aware that the ‘Eighties’ were a big deal. And where the hell is that music coming from?”
“Bah.” Discord sighed and snapped his fingers, and the music cut off. “Well, so much for this being a nostalgia trip. Maybe I should’ve gone and bugged Pinkie Pie instead. Oh well, might as well make the best of it. Come on, let’s go look around. Who knows, maybe we’ll find something interesting! Or… someone?”
So this was what Canterlot Square looked like thirty years ago. A lot of the architecture was still intact, but not a single business from this time period had apparently survived. Sunset made her way towards a building on the corner, that had a large bright green neon sign spelling out ‘AR ADE’.
A wave of electronic beeps and whistles greeted her when she pushed the door open, along with an unenthusiastic grunt from the employee managing the front desk. Dozens of arcade cabinets were lined up, each full of pixelated blobs that darted around the screen eating or shooting other pixelated blobs, and a musk of stale pizza and fountain soda hung in the air.
Pinkie Pie would definitely have had a field day with this. Sunset walked through the establishment, taking in the sights, admiring the fevered concentration in which the various groups of teenagers got lost in the zone, or took turns and cheered each other on.
A snippet of a nearby conversation made its way to Sunset’s ear.
“Come on, babe. You should go to the school dance with me.”
“Don’t call me babe, Slug. And I already said no, how many times will it take for it to get through that thick skull of yours?”
“I’m the quarterback, and the tallest, coolest, strongest guy in school. Give me one good reason why not.”
“Well…”
Someone darted towards Sunset, and grabbed her hand. She leaned in close, and whispered, “Play along, please?” The stranger turned back towards the other speaker, and loudly proclaimed, “Because I’m actually a lesbian! Sorry Slug, but unless you get a lot curvier, it’ll just never happen.”
Sunset blinked, and she could hear Discord snickering from somewhere behind her. She glanced down at the girl, who seemed to be around the same age as her. Her eyes met Sunset’s with a pleading expression. Sunset turned to the unwanted paramour, a great neanderthal of a man with orange hair, muted blue skin, and a letter jacket. He seemed familiar somehow.
Slug scratched at his head, comprehension slowly dawning behind his vacant expression. “Wait… you only like girls?”
Well, it would be an easy enough role to play. Sunset threw her arm around the woman’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Sorry bud. One hundred percent grade A carpet munchers here. You’ll have to bark up some other tree.”
The woman nodded emphatically, and whispered, “Thanks.”
Sunset squeezed in acknowledgement.
It took a subjective eternity for Slug to process this new truth to his worldview, but eventually a somewhat perverted expression settled over his lumpy face, and he leered at them. “Prove it.”
“We don’t have to—” the woman began.
“Alright.” Sunset licked her lips.
“Wait, what—”
Sunset grabbed her cheek, ran a thumb across it, then leaned in to press their lips together.
The woman squeaked, and practically melted in Sunset’s arms.
“Woah,” Slug muttered.
Sunset came up for air, the very redfaced woman hanging onto her limply. She smirked at Slug. “That’s the only show you get, big guy. Now, I’ll trust that you’ll leave my lady alone from now on. Otherwise you’ll have to answer to me. Got it?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Slug swallowed, blushing furiously. “I have to go, uh, return some video tapes.” Taking one last glance back at the two of them, he shuffled off with an awkward gait.
Sunset pulled away from the stranger, and smiled. “Hey. You alright?”
“I, uh, yeah.” The woman giggled, and tugged at her collar, fidgeting a bit. “That was pretty… wow.” Pale lavender hair with a white streak running through it poofed out from her head in some sort of glamorous perm, and she wore an oversized zebra print sweater, and, as Discord had promised, leg warmers.
Just what the hell was wrong with this decade?
Sunset rubbed at the back of her head. “Sorry, I guess I don’t half ass it when I’m asked to play a bit.”
“Mmm.” The woman stepped a bit closer. She smelled like lilacs. “I don’t mind, really. You’re a good kisser.” She glanced back towards the door Slug had left out of, and giggled again. “I guess I do also like boys, but it’s a wide world, why limit yourself, you know?” She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward while biting her lip. “I don’t suppose you’d actually like to take me to the dance tomorrow?”
“Well…” Sunset looked around for Discord. He seemed to be heavily involved in destroying the high score on an arcade game in front of a gawking crowd of small children. He glanced back at her and gave her the thumbs up. “Maybe. I’m actually from out of town, and I’m not quite sure how long I’ll be staying. But if I’m around for it, sure, why not?”
“Great! That’s great! I’ll give you my... “ The woman’s eyes grew wide, and she smacked herself in the forward. “Oh no! I can’t believe I asked you out, and I never even told you my name! I’m Twilight. Twilight Velvet. It’s really nice to meet you!”
All of the color drained from Sunset’s face, and her blood ran ice cold. “I’m, um… Sunset. Sunset Shimmer.”
“Sunset. That’s a nice name. Kind of like mine, if you think about it.” Twilight Velvet smiled mischievously. “I really dig your style, by the way. Very unique.” She fumbled around in her purse until she pulled out a pen and notepad, and scribbled a number. “Here’s my number. I’d better get going, but call and let me know, okay? Just don’t uh, tell my Dad about the whole lesbian thing, he’ll get weird about it.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. I’ll, uh, see you around, I guess. Later.” Sunset’s mouth felt dry as ash, and she fought back to urge to empty her stomach as she watched her best friends mother walk out the door, the lingering scent of her perfume still tickling her nose.
“Bravo, bravo!” Discord walked out of the sidelines with a round of applause. He had acquired a director's hat at some point. “An absolutely stunning performance, Miss Shimmer. You should be in Hollywood, you know. And to think, such a beautiful young woman interested in you just like that. Not bad for our little adventure, eh?”
Sunset grit her teeth and clenched her fists. “This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind in terms of meeting Twilight’s parents.
Discord placed a hand over his heart, looking offended. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not the one who makes a habit of snogging complete strangers because some bozo can’t take a hint.” He smirked, and adjusted his lab coat. “Not my fault you’re apparently really good at it, either.”
“What if I just ruined everything?” Sunset tugged on her hair, and started pacing about. “What if me being here somehow ruined their relationship, and makes it so Twilight was never born, meaning I would never come back here with you, and then there’s a paradox!”
“Oh please.” Discord rolled his eyes. He pounded an out of order arcade cabinet with his fist, and it lit up, displaying a chalkboard full of all sorts of diagrams and insanely complicated equations. “There’s no such thing as a Paradox. The universe is chaotic, my dear. A paradox is a mortal concept, an attempt to instill order on something that doesn’t make any sense to begin with. Do whatever you want, make out with your friends’ mothers, become your own grandmother. The universe doesn’t care! It’ll just keep trucking along, inconsistencies and all.”
“That’s…” Sunset felt dizzy, and she rested against a nearby pillar. “Ugh, I need to sit down.”
Discord shrugged, and the arcade cabinet went back to normal. “Well, I know a great place to get a milkshake around here…”
Sunset stared at the checkered floors and red leather seats as she sipped on her chocolate milkshake. It was pretty amazing, all things considered.
“See? I told you.” Discord now wore a tight white t-shirt, his hair slicked up into a pompadour. “It’s a retro diner! In the eighties, pretending it was in the fifties!”
“Mmmhmm.” Some sort of love song popped over the radio, slow and bouncy, something about angels. It kept putting all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts into her head, and she tried her best to just focus on her milkshake instead.
Discord sighed. “Come now, this won’t be any fun if you’re just going to get all glum about it.” He tapped his finger on the table several times, then his eyes lit up. “Aha! I know how you can fix your little… predicament.”
Sunset looked up, slurping the dregs of her shake through her straw. “What’s that?”
“You’re not the only one here who’s down in the dumps.” Discord gestured to the corner of the diner, where a young man with a dark combover sat, wearing a striped button up tucked into his khakis. He stared into his own milkshake, looking about equally glum as Sunset currently felt. “Do you know who he is?”
“Let me guess.” Sunset rubbed at her temples. “Twilight’s dad? Do you want me to go make out with him too?”
Discord shrugged. “Well, that’s not the approach I’d take, but hey, it’s a free country. He might be pretty into it.” Discord waggled his eyebrows, then chuckled. “But yes. That there is the illustrious future father of Miss Sparkle, Night Light. He’s currently brooding because he’s madly in love with a girl, but he doesn’t have the courage to ask her out. Such a shame. Might not get anywhere, at this rate.”
Well, that left her course of action pretty obvious. A quick romantic pep talk and she could set everything right with the universe once more. Sunset stood up, wiped at her mouth with a napkin, then swaggered over to Night Light and sat across the table from him. “Hey.”
“Huh?” Night Light blinked, then looked up at Sunset. “Um, hi. Who are you?”
“Sunset Shimmer.” Sunset shook his hand vigorously, then leaned back in the booth and grinned. “You look like someone with a problem, who could use someone like me to listen and offer some helpful advice.”
Night Light narrowed his eyes. “Is this some kind of trick? You get me to open my heart only to spill gossip all over school later?”
“Yikes. Guess you’ve been burned before.” Sunset waved her hand dismissively. “No trick, I promise. I’m from out of town, and won’t be staying long. Just a wandering, altruistic soul with a soft spot for the depressed and lonely. With any luck, I’ll move on, and it’ll be like I was never here at all.”
“Huh. You do kind of look like you’re not from around here.” Night Light rested his chin on his palm and sighed. “Gee, I dunno. Even if you’re telling the truth, I don’t know that you can do much to help me.”
“It’s about a girl, right?”
“Yeah…” Night Light sighed again, and stared forlornly out the window. “Most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. There’s just something about here that's so… captivating. It’s almost like it was magic. Destiny or something. But that’s probably just nonsense. There’s no way she’d want to go out with a loser like me. Just the other day I saw her turn down Slug, and he’s the quarterback! What chance do I have?”
Sunset smiled and shook her head. “You might be more right than you know. Destiny works in mysterious ways and all that jazz. I’d be willing to bet good money that if you ask her out, she’d say yes.” Sunset would of course have to figure out how to gently turn Velvet down, but it couldn’t be too hard. “You two would make a great couple. Might even get married, have a couple of successful kids.”
Night Light blushed, a distant look in his eyes. “You… you really think so?”
“I know so.” Sunset flashed what she hoped was her most convincing grin.
A poodle skirt fluttered in Sunset’s peripheral vision, and one of the waitresses skidded to a stop on her roller blades, which they apparently wore here for some reason. “Heya there, Nighty-Lighty! Glad to see you again today. Do you want the usual or what?” she asked in a familiar, bubbly sing song.
“Hey Sonata,” Night Light said, looking up at the waitress with a dreamy sigh.
Sunset’s blood ran ice cold for the second time that day.
“So that’s a double chocolate milkshake with extra whip cream, right? Anything for your lady friend here?” Sonata Dusk asked. She didn’t look a day younger than the last time Sunset had seen the siren, and while dressed in some sort of ridiculous getup on rollerblades, her necklace was intact and around her neck, filled with a soft inner light that set off a tickling sensation in the back of Sunset’s brain.
“Oh, n-no, she’s not my, uh, girlfriend, or anything,” Night Light stuttered. “She’s actually, uh, a complete stranger.” He stood up, suddenly, slamming his hands on the table, and took a deep breath. “Listen, Sonata, there’s something I wanted to ask you…”
Crap crap crap. Sunset had to stop this. But how? Tackle Sonata? Loudly proclaim that she was Night Light’s girlfriend, and make out with him to prove the point? While that might technically salvage the current situation, it would just make things even worse in the long run, and she really didn’t want to have to look Twilight in the eye after kissing both of her parents. One was going to be bad enough.
“Sure, ask away!”
Crap. Time for deliberation was running out. Sunset glanced over her shoulder at Discord, silently begging for help. He looked mildly confused, and shrugged. Damnit. Screw it, she could just kiss first and ask questions later.
“Actually he is—”
“Sonata Dusk will you please go to the dance with me!” Night Light shouted, interrupting Sunset’s own outburst before it could gain any purchase.
Sonata giggled, and tapped at her chin with her pencil. “Hmm. I think you’re like the twentieth guy to ask me to that dance so far.”
Night Light blanched, and he sank downwards somewhat. “Oh. Is, uh, that so?”
Sunset let out a sigh of relief.
“But okay, sure, it sounds like fun! My sisters left on a trip while I’m stuck watching the house, so I’m pretty hungry. Pick me up at eight.”
“Really? You mean it?” Night Light’s eyes lit up, and he punched his fist into the air. “Wowza! This is going to be so heavy!”
Sunset groaned, and slumped down onto the table. She held up one finger, “Can I get that double choco-whatever too?”
Sonata nodded, and scribbled onto her notepad. “Sure thing, Miss.” She turned to go, then her eyes fell on Sunset, and she froze. She leaned forward, her nostrils flaring. “That’s… a really cute necklace you have there, Miss. Where did you get it?”
“Huh?” Sunset looked up on the siren, then she placed her hand over the geode on her neck. Crap, Sonata could probably sense the magic in it. “Just an, uh, old family heirloom.”
“Hmm.” Sonata peered at her intensely, her eyes glinting with green fire. “Okey-dokey!” She giggled, then spun away, her skates clacking on the tile floor as she rolled back to the kitchen.
Night Light slumped back into his seat. “Holy crap. I actually did it. You were right. It actually worked, I can’t believe it! Thank you so much!”
“Uh-huh. Anytime,” Sunset muttered flatly. She stood up, then started shuffling towards the door.
“Huh? Miss? Um, Sunset, right? Aren’t you going to have your milkshake? It's my treat!”
Sunset didn’t respond, the bell over the door ringing as she made her way outside, the bright sunlight stinging her eyes.
Discord leaned against the side of the building. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“You think this is funny?” Sunset whirled on him, though she couldn’t muster the energy to really be angry.
“Of course I do. I always think chaos is funny.” Discord gave a short bow, then shrugged. “But what do you want from me? I’m not omnipotent after all. How was I supposed to know he was in love with the wrong girl?”
What an utter disaster. It still might be salvageable, but… “What would happen if we just bailed and went home, right now?”
“Who knows? Causality and chaos work in mysterious ways.” He waggled his fingers. “But even if we wanted to, we can’t. The portal gun is out of charge.” He held it up. The lightbulb wasn’t lit. “It should be ready to go in about, say, 28 hours. Which, fancy that, is right after the dance ends! Crazy good timing on these portal guns.”
“Uh-huh.” Sunset knew he was lying, of course. But she’d signed up for this after all, her own little whacky adventure. Just ended up being a bit more personal than she’d expected. There had to be something she could do. She crossed her arms over her chest, and began to pace in circles. “Alright, so, I take Velvet to prom. Show her a good time, but make it clear that I’m not looking for anything long term.”
Discord chuckled. “She’s young. It’s probably just a phase.”
“Sonata’s probably doing this for the snack. Plenty of discontent to feast on at a school dance, though if her sisters really are out of town, she won’t able to stir up much trouble on her own. Night Light is probably charmed by her power, but if we can get her to reveal her evil nature, or maybe dangle something more enticining in front of her…” Sunset clutched at her necklace again. Could she use it as bait somehow? Then it hit her. Sunset snapped her fingers and then pointed at Discord. “You.”
“Me?” Discord gasped. “Whatever part could little old me play in this devious scheme you’re cooking up?”
Sunset nodded, everything coming together in her head. “You’re positively brimming with chaos magic. You go to the dance, disguised as the janitor or something, I don’t know. Spread a little chaos magic around, sow some minor problems and she’ll be on top of you like flies on rotten meat. Night Light will be left in the dust. Dejected, he goes to the punch bowl to drown his sorrows… where I’ve conveniently left my own date. Hopefully they should be able to make that connection on their own, at that point.”
“Brilliant!” Discord applauded, and cackled wildly. “I knew there was a reason we were hanging out together. This is going to be quite devilish.”
“What can I say. I know how to manipulate a dance.” Sunset cracked her knuckles, then stared up at the setting sun. “Guess all we have to do now is wait.”
It was a long wait, filled with a veritable montage of whacky hijinks on the part of Discord, along with what she was sure were a metric ton of pop culture references she didn’t understand. She’d called Velvet, spent thirty minutes listening to Twilight’s grandfather rant and rave about ‘the war’, then managed to arrange what needed to be arranged.
Sunset waited in front of her house, resting against a beast of a motorcycle with a stylized draconequus painted on it. Her own ensemble now included jeans, a lack of sleeves on her leather jacket, and oversized sunglasses, even though it was dark out. Oh well, when in Roan.
Twilight Velvet stepped out the front door, framed by the light in her doorway. She really was rather pretty, if you discounted the neon leggings under some sort of frilly tutu. She smiled and waved at Sunset, turned to shout something at her parents, then made her way over. “Hey,” she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. “That’s a pretty nice bike. I didn’t realize you were cool with a capital K, Sunset.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Her bike hummed appreciatively at the compliment. Sunset kicked it. “You look great, Velvet. You ever ridden one of these things before?”
“Never.” Velvet slid into the seat as if she were a natural, and let out an appreciative sigh. “But there’s a first time for everything, right? And please, call me Twilight.”
“No way in hell,” Sunset muttered under her breath. Sunset climbed onto the bike behind her, and revved the engine. “Hold on tight!” she shouted, then the bike roared as it took off at a metaphorical gallop.
After they’d been on their way for about a minute or so, Sunset cleared her throat. “HEY, LISTEN, I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR.”
Velvet craned her head backwards slightly. “WHAT’S THAT?”
“YOU SEEM LIKE A REALLY NICE GIRL AND ALL, BUT I DON’T WANT TO LEAD YOU ON. I MEANT WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT BEING IN TOWN VERY LONG. THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN AFTER TONIGHT.”
“OH. WELL, I GUESS I KIND OF FIGURED AS MUCH. IT’S OKAY, REALLY. I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU TONIGHT.” Velvet flashed her a smile that someone could easily fall in love with. A lot like Twilight’s smile, in fact. “WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS, RIGHT?”
“RIGHT.” Sunset bit her lip, then leaned into the next curve, and stayed silent for the rest of the drive. They finally pulled up in front of Canterlot High, familiar horse statue still intact. Other couples funneled into the entrance around them. Sunset dismounted, and helped Velvet off the bike, who wobbled and clung to her for support.
“Wow,” Velvet murmured, her cheeks flushed. She cleared her throat, and straightened her skirt. “That was… intense.”
Sunset coughed. “Go on in ahead of me, would you? There’s something I need to take care of real quick.”
Velvet raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure thing. Don’t be too long, though.” She winked, then hurried off towards the doorway.
Once she was out of sight, Sunset glanced around to make sure nobody was paying attention, then knocked twice on the bike.
The bike coughed out a plume of exhaust, then popped back into Discord. He had a rather disgusted look on his face. “Blech. Not doing that one again.” He shook himself like a wet dog, a spray of water misting the area around him.
Sunset stepped back. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, go get ready to perform your creepy janitor act.”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Come now, you can’t be in a rush to get to everything. You have to stay fluid, adapt to any unexpected changes, and enjoy the moment.” He snapped his fingers, and a dull gray jumpsuit replaced his usual outfit, his hair stringy and slicked back. He hunched over, and started pushing a broom along the pavement. “But you’ve got a role to play too, you know.”
She sure did. Sunset popped a tic tac into her mouth, and sighed. She caught a flash of teal hair disappearing into the doorway. Sonata was already here. Time to catch up with her date.
The halls of Canterlot High hadn’t changed much over thirty years, apparently, and it was still the same old route to get to the gymnasium. She scanned the crowd inside, looking for Velvet, only for her to close in from behind and link arms with Sunset. “Come on, let’s dance.”
It wasn’t the type of music Sunset normally liked to dance to. And she was a rather accomplished dancer at that. She’d practiced both ballroom and swing with Rarity on a number of occasions.
Neither of which were apparently in fashion during the eighties. Or at the very least, weren't styles that Velvet knew. Sunset watched Velvet slide back and forth on the dance floor, then act like a robot. Sunset could only shrug, keep her own moves simple, and imitate wherever possible.
She kept an eye on Night Light and Sonata out of the corner of her eye. She seemed to be having fun, and Night Light was completely under her spell. At the very least, she wasn’t actively sowing discontent amongst everyone else.
After a break in the music, it was time to put her plan in action. Sunset groaned, and clutched at her stomach. “Ugh, I think I need to hit the ladies room. Can you wait for me, over there by the punch bowl? Don’t leave there for any reason. I’ll uh, have a surprise for you when I get back.
Velvet shrugged, leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, then made her way over to the punch bowl where she waited patiently.
So far so good. Sunset left the room, then doubled back as soon as she was out of sight. She slipped back into a different entrance of the gym, and ducked behind a pillar. She caught Discord’s attention, who was mopping a corner, and flashed him the signal.
Sunset couldn’t see what he did, but the effect on Sonata was instantaneous. She perked up, head swivelling towards Discord, and she practically dropped Night Light mid spin. She started walking towards him, eyes wide, and nostrils flaring. Discord began to back away, a devilish smirk on his face as he led the siren out of the room like a parasprite.
Night Light was left alone and utterly bewildered. He picked himself up off the ground, brushed dust off his pants, then sighed, and wandered over to the punch bowl.
It was working! Sunset practically squealed with delight. The two soon to be lovers stood side by side near the punch bowl, so close, only a simple conversation starter away from a lifelong commitment and two beautiful children.
Sunset waited, her breath hold. She eventually had to start breathing again with a gasp. A minute passed. Then another. She clenched her teeth. They were just standing there, looking bored. They wouldn’t stand there forever, right? She had to do something, and fast.
“Hey!” Sunset called out, emerging from the pillar. Velvet immediately brightened at her approach.
Sunset yanked the geode off of her neck. “I wanted to show you—whoops!” She hurled the stone at them, making it look as if she’d tripped. It skidded to a stop between both Night Light and Twilight Velvet. “Grab that!” she shouted.
They both ducked down at the same time, their fingers simultaneously brushing against one another and the crystallization of empathetic magic.
Sunset pumped her fist into the air. Both of them had gone rigid, their eyes lighting up as they peered into one another's souls.
The spell was broken in just a few moments, and they slumped away from each other, panting heavily.
“That was…” Velvet muttered, staring into Night Light’s eyes.
“That was…” Night Light licked his lips. “Really weird.”
“Yeah.” Velvet shuddered. “Like, totally not cool. Sunset, is this yours? What is it?” She picked the necklace up by the chain, and held it out.
Night Light cleared his throat. “Sorry.”
Sunset smacked her face with her palm. “No, you two are supposed to—”
“There you are!” Sonata popped out of nowhere, wrapped her arms tightly around Night Light. She had a hungry, crazed look in her eyes. “You wanna… go somewhere a bit more private?”
Night Light looked like he’d just been smacked in the face with a million bucks. “Buuh…”
Sonata started dragging him away.
Velvet giggled. “Cute couple.” She bit her lip, and leaned in a little closer to Sunset. “You know, if you want to follow their example, the library here offers a lot of privacy…”
Sunset suddenly found her throat amazingly dry. She slammed a glass of punch. Where the hell was Discord?
“Psst!”
Sunset leaned down to glance under the table. Discord crouched under there, cowering.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sunset hissed. “You’re supposed to be distracting Sonata!”
Discord shuddered. “That little witch can actually eat my magic! I let her get too close for too long then it's lights out for Daddy D. Sorry, but that plan is a wash.”
Sunset swore, and stood back up. She glanced around the auditorium. Sonata wasn’t far from the exit now. The current song ended. An idea popped into her head. It was time to do something drastic.
“Sunset?” Velvet asked, looking concerned. “Are you alright?”
Sunset snatched her necklace back from Velvet, and clasped it around her neck. “I’ve got to do something. Go stop those two from leaving the gymnasium. Trust me! They’ll want to see this. And you will too.” She leaned in to give Velvet a quick kiss, then dashed off towards the stage.
A hushed conversation and a bribe of all of Sunset’s money—several hundred dollars worth of bills that were most likely printed long after the eighties—saw Sunset standing up on the stage, a guitar slung over her shoulder. Velvet had successfully distracted the annoyed siren and her victim, and all eyes were currently on Sunset.
Sunset cleared her throat. “This is for all you lovers out there. Those of you here tonight with a partner, and…” she let her gaze fall on Velvet and Night Light meaningfully. “Those of you who still have yet to find the one.”
She started to strum her guitar, and the synthesized piano kicked in behind her as the rest of the band played along. “The power of love, is a curious thing!”
She sung her heart into the cheesy eighties ballad. She filled it with every scrap of meaning of purpose she could, hoping to convey a love, a true love, that would bring those destined to be together to each other at lastt. The geode around her neck flared with empathetic magic, and she could feel it course through her. She floated into the air, her ears transforming her, her hair growing longer.
“And that’s the power of love!” Sunset slammed into the ground with a final strum of her guitar, a wave of rainbow energy bursting forth and washing over the crowd.
Her pony ears faded, and she stood up, panting, sweat pouring down her face. The gym had gone silent. Everyone was staring at her, even her fellow bandmates.
“Sunset…” Velvet muttered, her voice cutting through the air. Her eyes were wide, and sparkling with adoration and love.
“Sunset?” “Sunset.” “Sunset!” Her name spread through the crowd like wildfire. A hundred eyes stayed locked to her, each filled with the same kind of adoration and love as Velvet.
Sonata watched from the back and licked her lips, the same hungry expression on her face she’d had when chasing Discord.
“Noooooo,” Sunset moaned into the microphone. The crowd started to shuffle forwards, chanting her name.
Discord leaned in the doorway, and held up the portal gun. The light bulb was blue, and he gestured frantically outside. It was time to go.
Sunset bolted. She leapt off the sage, soaring over the heads of several students, then dodged past the grasping hands of several more and out the door. She sprinted through the halls of Canterlot High, the horde of love-zombies thundering after her.
“You really screwed the pooch on this one,” Discord said, keeping pace with her.
“Bite me,” Sunset sneered. “Let’s just go home.”
“If you say so!”
They made it outside, and Discord tossed her the portal gun, then transformed back into the motorcycle.
Sunset stared at the device, and raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing? We can just use this here, right?” She pointed it at the ground, trying to find the button that would trigger it.
Motorcycle-cord whinneyed. “It won’t work. We have to be going at this bike’s maximum speed before we enter the portal, or else we won’t be able to make it.”
“What? Why? That’s stupid!”
“It’s a lot harder to go up than down!”
The horde of students burst out the doors and began flooding into the courtyard. Sunset growled, hopped on the bike, and gunned it.
They shot down the thankfully empty streets, the speedometer creeping higher and higher. She held the gun steady, pointing in front of the bike. The flaw in their plan became quickly evident, as the courthouse loomed ahead of her at the end of the street. “I’M GOING TO HAVE TO TURN, AND FIND A STRAIGHTER STREET!”
“THERE ISN’T ONE FOR MILES, YOU KNOW THAT. WE CAN MAKE IT, JUST TRUST ME.”
Sunset gripped the accelerator as tightly as she could, and the bike shifted into its highest gear, the engine whining painfully loud. “DAMN YOU, DISCORD!”
“WAIT FOR IT.”
“I DON’T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!”
“HOLD…”
“DISCORD!”
“NOW!”
Sunset clenched the trigger on the portal gun. A blue light flashed and impacted with the wall less than a second before they would have crashed in a spectacular explosion, and they flew into the wormhole instead.
Rather than falling they climbed upwards against whatever gravitational pull wanted to keep them in the eighties, the bikes wheels spinning against the edge of the tunnel. Chaos bike that he was, they eventually started to slow, and came to a stop right before the other edge. Sunset leapt upwards from the bike, her fingertips barely grazing the edge of the portal, and she fell into her own bed in a crumpled heap.
Discord popped into existence after her, collapsing into her chair and wiping the sweat from his brow. “Well then. That was quite the adventure, wasn’t it?”
Sunset groaned and righted herself. Her heart still raced as fast as the bike had been going just a bit ago. “That did technically fall under the definition of adventure, yes.”
“Well? Did you like it? Should I consider you an adventure buddy for the future?” Discord waggled his eyebrows, though she saw genuine hope in his eyes.
“I don’t know.” Sunset took a deep breath. “That depends on whether or not there are lingering permanent consequences I have to deal with.”
“Bah. Well, you’ll get over it, whatever they are. I’ll let you sleep on it. I’m off to go tell this whole story to Princess Twilight, hopefully annoy her to the point where she threatens to turn me into stone again. Ta-ta!”
And just like that, Discord was gone. It could almost be written down as a weird dream, if it weren't for the stylized fish still embossed on her bat.
Sunset pulled her phone out and called Twilight.
“Hello? This is Twilight Sparkle speaking.”
“You have caller ID, nerd, you don’t have to answer so formally. Anyway, your mom and dad are Twilight Velvet and Night Light, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“And they love each other?”
“Of course they do. Why do you ask?”
“How did they meet?”
“Umm…” There was a pause. “If I remember correctly, they met in college. They got assigned together on a group project, and, well, one thing led to another. Um, Sunset? Are you okay? What’s so funny?”
Sunset couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.
The door to Twilight’s house swung open, and a much older Twilight Velvet stood before them. Still quite beautiful, in a motherly sort of way. “Welcome! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Sun…” Recognition sparked in her eyes. Crap. “Well I’ll be. Here I thought the similar names were just some crazy coincidence. But here you are, and you don’t look a day older than you did back then. A part of me thought that night was all just some crazy dream. But I’m sure you’ll be happy to come in and explain everything over a cup of tea, right?”
Twilight blinked, then looked between Sunset and her mother. “Mom? What are you talking about? Sunset? What’s she talking about?”
Sweat poured down the back of Sunset’s neck. She swallowed. “Well…”
Pics
Okay, I find this hysterical, but Sunny would never be that blase about a freakin’ giant eyeball. Goddamit, Discord. Seriously? Setting up Sunny with Velvet? Not cool. Discord just laughs at paradoxes. Of course he would. Facehooves for days for just about everything (Though nice touch with Sonata being there).
Okay, this was beyond words. I laughed my tail off. Played up enough of the BTTF tropes while still twisting things to be totally new and random. Exactly as I would expect with Discord. Seriously, I got weird looks from people because I just kept bursting out laughing. The comic drop of Twilight’s parents meeting in college was brilliant.
And Velvet remembers. Of course Velvet remembers.
Random Thoughts: I was disappointed the herring was not red. & “and Starlight was there but blech, no thank you.” - I already love this story.
Good golly, this is going straight into my “Far-To-Amusing” and “Top Shelf” bookshelves the moment this goes live. I freaking loved it.
Ayep. Freaking. Loved. It.
Okay, this was beyond words. I laughed my tail off. Played up enough of the BTTF tropes while still twisting things to be totally new and random. Exactly as I would expect with Discord. Seriously, I got weird looks from people because I just kept bursting out laughing. The comic drop of Twilight’s parents meeting in college was brilliant.
And Velvet remembers. Of course Velvet remembers.
Random Thoughts: I was disappointed the herring was not red. & “and Starlight was there but blech, no thank you.” - I already love this story.
Good golly, this is going straight into my “Far-To-Amusing” and “Top Shelf” bookshelves the moment this goes live. I freaking loved it.
Ayep. Freaking. Loved. It.
>>Novel_Idea
You're assuming they don't have a prior history already.
Also, before anyone asks, no, I didn't write this one (although I'm pretty sure I know who did, and I appreciate the shout-out immensely). Please don't disqualify it.
Okay, I find this hysterical, but Sunny would never be that blase about a freakin’ giant eyeball.
You're assuming they don't have a prior history already.
Also, before anyone asks, no, I didn't write this one (although I'm pretty sure I know who did, and I appreciate the shout-out immensely). Please don't disqualify it.
This feels more like a cartoon to me rather than a short story in the same sense that the only sort of stimulation most cartoons aim for is overstimulation. I can't bring myself to like this story. It's just too much for me. So much, in fact, that I can't even bring myself to read the entire thing. Sorry, but good luck.
>>Posh
Continuity! It's a thing! Even if it's someone else's continuity!
Okay, I'll take it, just because I need a bit of silly after a few of these entries...
Continuity! It's a thing! Even if it's someone else's continuity!
Okay, I'll take it, just because I need a bit of silly after a few of these entries...
Funny from the beginning to the end. That's first strong point.
The second one is how you use BTTF and still manage to keep it fresh and entertaining.
Aside from that, the pace was great and the interaction between a well-written Discord and Sunset were hilarious.
Also, I loved that line
And that's how you not bother yourself with the difficulties of writting time travel. I shouldn't say it but it felt meta.
So a strong top tier in my book. That was really neat.
Also, the shout out to Posh's story, because I got it, was great.
The second one is how you use BTTF and still manage to keep it fresh and entertaining.
Aside from that, the pace was great and the interaction between a well-written Discord and Sunset were hilarious.
Also, I loved that line
“There’s no such thing as a Paradox. The universe is chaotic, my dear. A paradox is a mortal concept, an attempt to instill order on something that doesn’t make any sense to begin with. Do whatever you want, make out with your friends’ mothers, become your own grandmother. The universe doesn’t care! It’ll just keep trucking along, inconsistencies and all.”
And that's how you not bother yourself with the difficulties of writting time travel. I shouldn't say it but it felt meta.
So a strong top tier in my book. That was really neat.
Also, the shout out to Posh's story, because I got it, was great.
This is intentionally a shaggy dog story, which is a pro and a con. Shaggy dog stories can be funny, but they also are ultimately kind of pointless.
Here, I think my biggest problem was that the story felt like it kind of ran out of gas; it started out strong, subverting everyone's usual annoyance with Discord with Sunset's blase acceptance and even enjoyment of his chaos magic, but as the story went on, it just felt kind of... eh? I dunno. The idea of Sunset frantically scrambling to fix the past before finding out at the end that it was all pointless anyway was amusing conceptually, but ultimately the struggles at the dance didn't really land for me humor-wise.
Here, I think my biggest problem was that the story felt like it kind of ran out of gas; it started out strong, subverting everyone's usual annoyance with Discord with Sunset's blase acceptance and even enjoyment of his chaos magic, but as the story went on, it just felt kind of... eh? I dunno. The idea of Sunset frantically scrambling to fix the past before finding out at the end that it was all pointless anyway was amusing conceptually, but ultimately the struggles at the dance didn't really land for me humor-wise.
It seems there are definitely some people who love this story, so that’s great :D
Personally, I didn’t like the story because I felt it drew a bit too much from BTTF and the variations on that plot didn’t feel all that… new? I mean, sure, having Night Light’s crush be Sonata instead of Twilight Velvet was interesting and unexpected, but other than that, I didn’t find myself all that interested in the plot.
The eighties things were sort of… there, their only real involvement being scenery where the narrator takes a minute to sightsee and go “Look, the eighties! Leg warmers! Some crooner singing about the power of love wink wink”. I feel like how I put that is a bit harsh, but that’s honestly the vibe I got from it. The references were just references and weren’t enough to interest me. I think I would’ve liked more involvement in that sense, I suppose, if at all; making leg warmers plot-relevant or forming jokes where the punchy bit of the joke isn’t just the phrase “leg warmers”.
That said, it was a romp, it was a riot. There was enough of a baseline plot to keep me at least interested enough to read all the way through. I don’t have a problem with the fact that it’s a shaggy dog story, but only if it’s entertaining along the way. Though I didn’t think it was entertaining, personally, people seemed to enjoy it, so good job, author, ya done good :>
Personally, I didn’t like the story because I felt it drew a bit too much from BTTF and the variations on that plot didn’t feel all that… new? I mean, sure, having Night Light’s crush be Sonata instead of Twilight Velvet was interesting and unexpected, but other than that, I didn’t find myself all that interested in the plot.
The eighties things were sort of… there, their only real involvement being scenery where the narrator takes a minute to sightsee and go “Look, the eighties! Leg warmers! Some crooner singing about the power of love wink wink”. I feel like how I put that is a bit harsh, but that’s honestly the vibe I got from it. The references were just references and weren’t enough to interest me. I think I would’ve liked more involvement in that sense, I suppose, if at all; making leg warmers plot-relevant or forming jokes where the punchy bit of the joke isn’t just the phrase “leg warmers”.
That said, it was a romp, it was a riot. There was enough of a baseline plot to keep me at least interested enough to read all the way through. I don’t have a problem with the fact that it’s a shaggy dog story, but only if it’s entertaining along the way. Though I didn’t think it was entertaining, personally, people seemed to enjoy it, so good job, author, ya done good :>
Genre: Time Enough For Time Travel Shenanigans (Ha! Whaddaya gonna say now, >>Posh?!)
Thoughts: My feelings here fall into the space between >>Novel_Idea and >>TitaniumDragon, in that it's brilliant when it's funny but I think it runs out of gas past a certain point. The ending in particular doesn't mine the full potential of the meeting that happens; it's just a moment of recognition, and then the characters move on. I was hoping for more... I dunno. Something funnier. Also the resolution at the dance makes a kind of sense but it's pretty fast. Also I feel like Sonata is woefully underutilized; IMO Sonata lends herself to a kind of humor that you're not really tapping into here. I get it that she's probably the most likely Siren to go along with this, and I like having a Siren show up, but there's not a lot that she does that distinguishes that it's Sonata as opposed to anyone else.
Oh but it's good when it's good, though. The beginning in particular is a total "headcanon accepted" moment for me; I can readily see Sunset being down for whatever silliness Discord has in mind, just about anytime. The motorcycle thing was creative too! And I didn't think it leaned excessively on BTTF.
I dunno. Again, the main downer for me is that the hilarity dropped off. I think this could become fantastic with a tune-up.
Tier: Almost There
Thoughts: My feelings here fall into the space between >>Novel_Idea and >>TitaniumDragon, in that it's brilliant when it's funny but I think it runs out of gas past a certain point. The ending in particular doesn't mine the full potential of the meeting that happens; it's just a moment of recognition, and then the characters move on. I was hoping for more... I dunno. Something funnier. Also the resolution at the dance makes a kind of sense but it's pretty fast. Also I feel like Sonata is woefully underutilized; IMO Sonata lends herself to a kind of humor that you're not really tapping into here. I get it that she's probably the most likely Siren to go along with this, and I like having a Siren show up, but there's not a lot that she does that distinguishes that it's Sonata as opposed to anyone else.
Oh but it's good when it's good, though. The beginning in particular is a total "headcanon accepted" moment for me; I can readily see Sunset being down for whatever silliness Discord has in mind, just about anytime. The motorcycle thing was creative too! And I didn't think it leaned excessively on BTTF.
I dunno. Again, the main downer for me is that the hilarity dropped off. I think this could become fantastic with a tune-up.
Tier: Almost There
I personally thought this was an enjoyable piece: a nice, light-hearted adventure with an interesting pairing. I like the fact that, while there were plenty of BTTF references and the plot was based on the movie, there were some interesting twists that made this its own story. And everything going to Tartarus is pretty standard when Discord enters the picture, and this story captures that nicely.
I'll try not to repeat, in terms of criticism, what others have mentioned, and try to focus on what else I thought needed some work:
The beginning lacks tension; Sunset and Discord are traveling through time 'just because' and they simply blunder into the main problems of the plot. There's also the fact that, while Sunset might be game for adventure, I doubt she'd be interested in going through time (she's likely heard of the events of 'The Cutie Re-Mark' and knows first-hand the dangers of aimlessly throwing around magic). You might have Discord trick Sunset or drag her into this adventure a little (perhaps he needles Sunset to get her going).
The middle needs to be expanded, though I blame space constraints for this and not the author.
And then there's the ending. I hope I'm not sounding too harsh when I say this, but the ending feels rushed, if not tacked on, and I can understand if that's again from the space constraints and not the author's choice. But the fact that, after all the mess Sunset and Discord left behind in the past, nothing changes in the present will feel like a cop-out to a lot of readers. (While I could see Discord bailing on any messes he makes, I don't see Sunset doing that.) I'm saying this because it's canon in MLP:FiM that traveling through time will either have no effect (you were supposed to go back) or have a massive effect (see 'Cutie Re-Mark').
If you decide to publish, it might be a good idea for things to have changed in the future, or for Sunset to actually resolve the messes she left in the past (while having to drag Discord along by the ear).
Again, I found this to be an enjoyable read overall, and I'm glad you could share this.
I'll try not to repeat, in terms of criticism, what others have mentioned, and try to focus on what else I thought needed some work:
The beginning lacks tension; Sunset and Discord are traveling through time 'just because' and they simply blunder into the main problems of the plot. There's also the fact that, while Sunset might be game for adventure, I doubt she'd be interested in going through time (she's likely heard of the events of 'The Cutie Re-Mark' and knows first-hand the dangers of aimlessly throwing around magic). You might have Discord trick Sunset or drag her into this adventure a little (perhaps he needles Sunset to get her going).
The middle needs to be expanded, though I blame space constraints for this and not the author.
And then there's the ending. I hope I'm not sounding too harsh when I say this, but the ending feels rushed, if not tacked on, and I can understand if that's again from the space constraints and not the author's choice. But the fact that, after all the mess Sunset and Discord left behind in the past, nothing changes in the present will feel like a cop-out to a lot of readers. (While I could see Discord bailing on any messes he makes, I don't see Sunset doing that.) I'm saying this because it's canon in MLP:FiM that traveling through time will either have no effect (you were supposed to go back) or have a massive effect (see 'Cutie Re-Mark').
If you decide to publish, it might be a good idea for things to have changed in the future, or for Sunset to actually resolve the messes she left in the past (while having to drag Discord along by the ear).
Again, I found this to be an enjoyable read overall, and I'm glad you could share this.
The 80s were not 30 years ago, no matter what basic arithmetic and the calendar says. Shut up.
Great points for the nod to the unblinking eyeball in the void. Inter-round jokes and references are fun, and it still works well without knowing the history. Susnet no-selling Discord's shenanigans once she realizes she's not about to be robbed is hilarious, and I'm glad it's her doing it. I don't think any other person/pony has the stones for it.
Well, he is, more or less. What he certainly isn't is omniscient. Probably. I'm not 100% sure if him shaking off water a bit later is the joke I think it is, but I sure as hell hope I read it right. Can confirm, ladies love the bikes.
I had a blast reading through this. Sunset and Discord are the most unlikely adventure pair I could have imagined, but they work when this well written. Heavy draw from BTTF, obviously, but things go just wrong enough at every turn that it feels like a comedic homage rather than a palette swap.
>>eusocialdragon
To be fair, we don't know before the shenanigans how Twilight's parents met, so maybe something did change and we're just not privy to the details. Twi's parents meeting and having kids isn't the nation ending axis in the human world that it is in Equestria, so maybe the auto-correct works a little better.
Great points for the nod to the unblinking eyeball in the void. Inter-round jokes and references are fun, and it still works well without knowing the history. Susnet no-selling Discord's shenanigans once she realizes she's not about to be robbed is hilarious, and I'm glad it's her doing it. I don't think any other person/pony has the stones for it.
I’m not omnipotent after all.
Well, he is, more or less. What he certainly isn't is omniscient. Probably. I'm not 100% sure if him shaking off water a bit later is the joke I think it is, but I sure as hell hope I read it right. Can confirm, ladies love the bikes.
I had a blast reading through this. Sunset and Discord are the most unlikely adventure pair I could have imagined, but they work when this well written. Heavy draw from BTTF, obviously, but things go just wrong enough at every turn that it feels like a comedic homage rather than a palette swap.
>>eusocialdragon
To be fair, we don't know before the shenanigans how Twilight's parents met, so maybe something did change and we're just not privy to the details. Twi's parents meeting and having kids isn't the nation ending axis in the human world that it is in Equestria, so maybe the auto-correct works a little better.
Okay, I personally thought this was pretty clever, and I definitely enjoyed it. I especially liked the interactions between Sunset and Discord. The way Sunset just kinda.. rolled with things was great!
I have to agree with many of the previous reviews one two items however. First, the more minor one: The whole "Hey, it's the 80's!" thing with Sunset being clueless/ambivalent about the pop culture stuff is kind of funny. But your time skip is rather... abrupt and awkward. You start off with some bits of "Hey, look! 80's nostalgia stuff!" And then you literally skip a day with a sentence or two talking about "Hijiinks" and "Pop culture references." It feels a bit, I don't know, lazy. Like the author is saying "I had this idea for a bunch of 80's stuff, but I'm bored with it now, so let's just skip it all." Even a few lines expanding on that time skip would have worked better. Perhaps a noodle incident or two that isn't quite explained, and/or Sunset being puzzled over some bit of 80's era slang or technology or whatnot.
The second issue was how abrupt the ending was. Sunset just kinda... Gives up. Says "Screw this, I'm going home." and heads back to the future without really trying to fix anything. Maybe if you had her reassuring herself that Discord is reformed and 'harmless' and wouldn't actually cause anything terrible to happen it would be more reasonable for her to run off. As it stands it just seems a bit out of character for her to cut and run like that.
All in all though I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It was a great omage to Back to the Future. and poor Sunset is going to have a very awkward conversation in her future... ;>
I have to agree with many of the previous reviews one two items however. First, the more minor one: The whole "Hey, it's the 80's!" thing with Sunset being clueless/ambivalent about the pop culture stuff is kind of funny. But your time skip is rather... abrupt and awkward. You start off with some bits of "Hey, look! 80's nostalgia stuff!" And then you literally skip a day with a sentence or two talking about "Hijiinks" and "Pop culture references." It feels a bit, I don't know, lazy. Like the author is saying "I had this idea for a bunch of 80's stuff, but I'm bored with it now, so let's just skip it all." Even a few lines expanding on that time skip would have worked better. Perhaps a noodle incident or two that isn't quite explained, and/or Sunset being puzzled over some bit of 80's era slang or technology or whatnot.
The second issue was how abrupt the ending was. Sunset just kinda... Gives up. Says "Screw this, I'm going home." and heads back to the future without really trying to fix anything. Maybe if you had her reassuring herself that Discord is reformed and 'harmless' and wouldn't actually cause anything terrible to happen it would be more reasonable for her to run off. As it stands it just seems a bit out of character for her to cut and run like that.
All in all though I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It was a great omage to Back to the Future. and poor Sunset is going to have a very awkward conversation in her future... ;>
Naturally, the last story I read and review is the longest in the entire competition.
Full disclosure, I've never seen Back to the Future, so any jokes or references to that movie are completely lost on me. I have no way of knowing whether this fic leans too heavily on its source material to stand on its own merits, because I know nothing about the source material.
So, from that perspective, I'd say this story does pretty well. It's character-centric, character-driven comedy, featuring a dynamic that's not seen very often (or ever?) in ponyfic. Sunset and Discord play off of each other well, especially since Sunset makes it clear at the start that she's not going to be put off by any of Discord's bullshit. She's so, so much better suited for a story of this type than any of her contemporaries.
That said, I agree with my fellows that the plot is the weakest element of the story, specifically because it doesn't have a real resolution. Sunset quits, goes home, and then events just sort of fix themselves off screen, with the only repercussion being that Twilight's mom has a memory of going to a dance with Twilight's girlfriend, making out with her, and also propositioning her for sex.
It's a cheap way to end the story, and IMO, it makes the story and the events within null and void. Matters fixed themselves, and Velvet and Night Light ended up together anyway because circumstances just conspired to get them together (which runs contrary to Discord's lecture on chaos and causality).
I get the feeling that the author made this up as they wrote, and while the results are impressive considering, the flaws in that approach are painfully evident. Namely, the author ran out of room.
But whatever; it referenced Eyeball, so it goes straight to the top of my ballot just because it made me feel validated. :3
Full disclosure, I've never seen Back to the Future, so any jokes or references to that movie are completely lost on me. I have no way of knowing whether this fic leans too heavily on its source material to stand on its own merits, because I know nothing about the source material.
So, from that perspective, I'd say this story does pretty well. It's character-centric, character-driven comedy, featuring a dynamic that's not seen very often (or ever?) in ponyfic. Sunset and Discord play off of each other well, especially since Sunset makes it clear at the start that she's not going to be put off by any of Discord's bullshit. She's so, so much better suited for a story of this type than any of her contemporaries.
That said, I agree with my fellows that the plot is the weakest element of the story, specifically because it doesn't have a real resolution. Sunset quits, goes home, and then events just sort of fix themselves off screen, with the only repercussion being that Twilight's mom has a memory of going to a dance with Twilight's girlfriend, making out with her, and also propositioning her for sex.
It's a cheap way to end the story, and IMO, it makes the story and the events within null and void. Matters fixed themselves, and Velvet and Night Light ended up together anyway because circumstances just conspired to get them together (which runs contrary to Discord's lecture on chaos and causality).
I get the feeling that the author made this up as they wrote, and while the results are impressive considering, the flaws in that approach are painfully evident. Namely, the author ran out of room.
But whatever; it referenced Eyeball, so it goes straight to the top of my ballot just because it made me feel validated. :3
>>Rao
I understand what you're saying about the ending to this story, and I don't hate it myself. I was trying (and probably failed) to say that a number of readers might feel that this kind of an ending is something of a 'deus ex machina' for Sunset.
Though, now that I think about it, all that would really have to be done to 'fix' this 'problem' is to have some sort of changed detail to show Sunset and the audience that her trip had some effect on the past.
I understand what you're saying about the ending to this story, and I don't hate it myself. I was trying (and probably failed) to say that a number of readers might feel that this kind of an ending is something of a 'deus ex machina' for Sunset.
Though, now that I think about it, all that would really have to be done to 'fix' this 'problem' is to have some sort of changed detail to show Sunset and the audience that her trip had some effect on the past.
Dammit, everyone. Stop not having watched Back to the Future! You're making me feel old. :raritydespair:
This felt solid as an adventure comedy, though (as noted) it feels like it hits a bit of a wall with the ending, if only because she doesn't entirely restore the status quo, and you're setting up for a rollicking sequel that can't quite materialize in Writeoff space. The plot wiring also feels a little too exposed in places. Though I do love the way the story draws both from its movie source and its ponymovie source to hare off in a different direction from either of them, and Sunset's casual willingness to go along with Discord is a fantastic early subversion.
I really wish more follow-up had been done on the siren meeting. That plot point getting dropped entirely was a major factor in the feeling of incompleteness — it seems at least as worthy of follow-up as the Twilight-parents thing, because on its face it doesn't seem to square with canon.
Those are the major things dragging it down in my voting. Regardless, this was a shamelessly fun read and a clear exemplar of its tier. Jokes landed and the plot and characterization were satisfying. It's a hell of a statement on the general quality this round that there are no less than seven stories above it in my finals rankings. I can think of a few rounds where this would have been a medal contender on my ballot.
Tier: Strong
This felt solid as an adventure comedy, though (as noted) it feels like it hits a bit of a wall with the ending, if only because she doesn't entirely restore the status quo, and you're setting up for a rollicking sequel that can't quite materialize in Writeoff space. The plot wiring also feels a little too exposed in places. Though I do love the way the story draws both from its movie source and its ponymovie source to hare off in a different direction from either of them, and Sunset's casual willingness to go along with Discord is a fantastic early subversion.
I really wish more follow-up had been done on the siren meeting. That plot point getting dropped entirely was a major factor in the feeling of incompleteness — it seems at least as worthy of follow-up as the Twilight-parents thing, because on its face it doesn't seem to square with canon.
Those are the major things dragging it down in my voting. Regardless, this was a shamelessly fun read and a clear exemplar of its tier. Jokes landed and the plot and characterization were satisfying. It's a hell of a statement on the general quality this round that there are no less than seven stories above it in my finals rankings. I can think of a few rounds where this would have been a medal contender on my ballot.
Tier: Strong
>>horizon
Stop feeling old, horizon, you're starting to make me feel old too...
Anyway, you and >>Novel_Idea pretty much said everything I was thinking.
Stop feeling old, horizon, you're starting to make me feel old too...
Anyway, you and >>Novel_Idea pretty much said everything I was thinking.
That was funny. Unfortunately I'm both old and haven't seen BttF, so I can't comment much there.
Really, my only complaint is that this definitely needs an editorial pass, as pacing (scene, mostly) is all over the place and pretty haphazard. This story feels a lot like the sort that's a first draft written on a caffeine bender. Just slam out stuff, be funny, and hope it works. Which it does, for the most part.
Really, my only complaint is that this definitely needs an editorial pass, as pacing (scene, mostly) is all over the place and pretty haphazard. This story feels a lot like the sort that's a first draft written on a caffeine bender. Just slam out stuff, be funny, and hope it works. Which it does, for the most part.
>>Novel_Idea >>Posh >>Kritten >>Fenton >>TitaniumDragon >>FrontSevens >>CoffeeMinion >>eusocialdragon >>Rao >>TheCyanRecluse >>Posh >>horizon >>MLPmatthewl419 >>MLPmatthewl419
7th place huh? This makes the 4th Sunset story I've gotten 7th with. :3
Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! Your feedback was all very useful. I've already got a pretty solid idea on what needs to be changed and edited to fix some of the issues with the story, and if I'm punctual about it, you might see the story up on fimfiction by Monday. I've even got a coverart for it already.
The story was definitely written in a rush, and still ended up the longest writeoff entry I've ever done.
Frontsevens:
You're not wrong. Most of the story was written on Sunday, and as I sat there writing, I realized I couldn't actually think of any particularly clever or in depth 80s references, and didn't have time to do the research or have an editor around to consult. So it ended up being rather shallow.
Rao:
I'm glad somebody mentioned this. It was my favorite joke and it still makes me giggle.
Horizon:
Honestly, I figure Sonata probably forgot about the whole event within a few days, let alone thirty years. Humans all look the same to her. Either way, my planned changes also involve some improvements to Sonata's role, so we'll see how that pans out.
Thanks again, and I'll see you all again in another writeoff!
7th place huh? This makes the 4th Sunset story I've gotten 7th with. :3
Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! Your feedback was all very useful. I've already got a pretty solid idea on what needs to be changed and edited to fix some of the issues with the story, and if I'm punctual about it, you might see the story up on fimfiction by Monday. I've even got a coverart for it already.
The story was definitely written in a rush, and still ended up the longest writeoff entry I've ever done.
Frontsevens:
The eighties things were sort of… there, their only real involvement being scenery where the narrator takes a minute to sightsee and go “Look, the eighties! Leg warmers! Some crooner singing about the power of love wink wink”. I feel like how I put that is a bit harsh, but that’s honestly the vibe I got from it. The references were just references and weren’t enough to interest me. I think I would’ve liked more involvement in that sense, I suppose, if at all; making leg warmers plot-relevant or forming jokes where the punchy bit of the joke isn’t just the phrase “leg warmers”.
You're not wrong. Most of the story was written on Sunday, and as I sat there writing, I realized I couldn't actually think of any particularly clever or in depth 80s references, and didn't have time to do the research or have an editor around to consult. So it ended up being rather shallow.
Rao:
I'm not 100% sure if him shaking off water a bit later is the joke I think it is, but I sure as hell hope I read it right. Can confirm, ladies love the bikes.
I'm glad somebody mentioned this. It was my favorite joke and it still makes me giggle.
Horizon:
I really wish more follow-up had been done on the siren meeting. That plot point getting dropped entirely was a major factor in the feeling of incompleteness — it seems at least as worthy of follow-up as the Twilight-parents thing, because on its face it doesn't seem to square with canon.
Honestly, I figure Sonata probably forgot about the whole event within a few days, let alone thirty years. Humans all look the same to her. Either way, my planned changes also involve some improvements to Sonata's role, so we'll see how that pans out.
Thanks again, and I'll see you all again in another writeoff!