So many people are taking the prompt as relating to blizzard conditions, and this one seems to be more a "tunnel of light" kind of thing, so it's a refreshing angle. I can't say the arrangement of line breaks is something I can put a definite meaning to, but it does make things feel more inherently poetic. It does sit on the side of poetry for me, versus prose just being made to look like poetry. This does a good job of creating its mood. It's pretty abstract, which takes me out of my element in giving much useful analysis of it.

The mix of imagery confuses me:

Words like "softly", "quietly", "love" and "wonder" on one side and "rend", "blinding", "twisting", and "mewling" on the other leave me without any clear idea of what the poem wants to be about. If the confusion I'm feeling is what the poem's about--the peace of death followed by the turmoil of the soul being wrenched from the body followed by the greater peace of dissolution--then I'd like more structure to support that. "Structured confusion," after all, is one valid definition of poetry. :)

So if that's what the poem's about, I'll suggest increasing the contrasts from beginning to middle to end. Make it more of a journey with more turbulance in the middle, and that'll shrink the question mark at the end of my "Is this what the poem's about?"

But then I've never liked riddles or magic tricks or practical jokes--which is maybe one reason I'm having such a negative reaction to learning about the hidden lines in "Fall to Rise"...

Mike

I like how laser-focused this is on its imagery and mood. It helps give the poem a sense of definition, despite the free verse nature, and makes each word feel carefully selected.

Now, I'll have to admit that the whole heavenly rapture theme felt a little up-in-the-cloiuds to me (pun entirely intended). There's kind of an ethereal sense to the mood, since all of the imagery is so high-level, which made it difficult for me to really pin down the emotions concretely. I know that this is a really subjective level of critique here, but given how open-ended this piece seems be, I'm left drawing my own conclusions for a lot of my experience of this one.

So overall, good focus in a tight, punchy package, but IMO it could use a little more emotional grounding.

Thanks for writing!

COFFEE IN MY

mouth as I strive to summarize
transcendence
in flashes, eye candy

from word toil
semantic shackles

I twist and compose with the others in writing off
and writing up

to the promise
of the prize beyond the icons
ghosts in the medals.