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Brick by Brick · Poetry Short Short ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 100–2000
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Building the Wall
The loam much like foam on the tide of the Earth
Gives rise to all life and to all that it's worth.
It surges in hillocks of brown, red and gray,
As flowers and fruits take their roots in its clay.

I squeeze it, it flows through my fingers so thick,
This is the clay that I mold to a brick.


The sun in the sky calls the wheated field forth,
As warm golden light overlooks the green swarth.
The grasses all rush in the warm passing breeze
With ripples that seem like the tide in the seas.

I reap it and stalks from the sheaf I do pick,
This is the straw in the clay of my brick.


The sand of the land is the grind of the ground,
The clam is a fish that makes never a sound.
I burn up their shells and I mix in the ash
And water I add in a boiling splash.

The lime freezes time with a chemical trick,
This is the mortar that cradles my brick.


As plants grow their stalks and the clams form their shells,
A man makes a plan for a house where he dwells.
Away from the play of the sea, wind and sky,
I type at a screen where I'm snug, warm and dry.

The clocks make their tock with occasional tick
Here in the house that I made from my brick.
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#1 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
I like the structure of this. The rhymes are all good, and the only bump in meter is the assumption that people pronounce "boiling" with 3 syllables, which really should be 2, though it's a little of a mouthful, so kind of 2 1/2. Poets often avoid such words to keep the meter from being dependent on the reader.

There's not a grand point being made, but I like the way it works its way up from the most basic ingredients to the finished product.

Tough call voting on these. This one has a more concrete (heh) story, but the other feels more consequential, for all that I don't understand what those consequences are. Both are technically solid, though the other attempts a tougher form.
#2 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
I very much adore the frequent internal rhymes (and near rhymes). Felt like everything rolled right off the tongue.
Except "boiling" - that threw me off as well.

Overall a cozy image and a pleasure to read.
#3 · 1
· · >>GroaningGreyAgony
I really enjoyed your take on the prompt! Solid poem with a pleasant theme.
#4 ·
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>>Pascoite, >>Corinna, >>MosesDuchek

Building the Wall

Thank you for the gold and the kind comments, and 'grats to MosesDuchek for a strong start!

I got the rhythm of this in my mind before I had any words to fit into it, and what flowed most naturally into the mold was a miniature discourse on brickmaking. I wrote mostly to the sound of it and though it did not come to any earth-shaking conclusion, I hope it was pleasant to read along the way.

I shall likely amend "boiling" to "bubbling" in future revisions, among some other tweaks.