So this is someone dying of frostbite/hypothermia, right? I like the imagery. The structure isn't buying a lot, as there isn't a meter, and there's only one rhyme per stanza. Plus "fetus/greets us" is a weak rhyme.

The line that stood out to me is the one about lamb to the slaughter, because that seems to imply the person's fate is intentional, though I don't understand how. It wasn't until the end of that stanza it became apparent what was happening.

The last stanza is easily the best. It employs a lot of literary devices, and it juxtaposes a lot of incongruous things. Like I don't see how snowfall would fit with crumbling, unless it's actually an avalanche, but I still like the mood and image that creates. The silent frown, too, since frowns are silent by nature, so I don't understand why it's necessary to point that out, but I think that kind of dissonance is deliberate here. By the end, this really comes to its full potential.

I really like the tight, staccato feel of each line. There's a punchiness here that comes through nicely, even though I would have liked just a little more definition in regards to the meter/syllable-count. The imagery is an overall hit for me, which really helps cement that the mood down.

I think I had a bit of trouble with understanding the last stanza, though. >>Pascoite touches on it a little bit, and while I agree with him that this is supposed to be describing an avalanche, I can't help but feel that I'm missing something that links this to the previous stanzas. It's a cost of dedicating yourself to the short-and-punchy style—sometimes not all of your meaning comes through.

Overall, though, I already mentioned that the mood and the imagery worked for me, so I ended up considering this piece as one of my favorites from this round.

Thanks for entering!

Terse prose tries madly to unbend
Curls of thought like dried-up bugs
Mortality is corruption. So we end
With one last downer simile. Hugs!