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Pinkie Pie's Pocket Pamphet to being Hap-P
Pinkie Pie’s Pocket Pamphlet to being hap-P
Entry #57 Getting up with Glee! For the Non-early Bird
Many ponies have asked me if i'm an early bird or a night owl. I don't know what all the fuss is about. I just don't see how I can be a bird… I don't even fly! Well, actually, I did invent a flying copter-pedal-machine (CPM for short) that a Griffon that I should not name smashed.
Anyways, all I'm saying is that you don't need wings to let your spirit soar. The sky's the limit when it comes to these things. Trust me, there is more than one way to Soar! Soar! Soar!
It first starts with becoming an early bird. (If you want, you can skip to entry 319, that shows you how to make wings out of paper mache! Unfortunately though, you need a powerful unicorn’s enchantment to fly. Adult supervision required when handling scissors).
Now, most ponies start off their days with a snoring, boring, zombified, crombified routine. They get up, whap that alarm clock, make a grumpy face and grumble while stomping their hooves to face another snoring boring day.
Now, why would anypony want to do something like that?
First start your mornings with something that makes you gain ear to ear! (If you can stretch your smile farther, let me know. I've been trying to stretch it farther for years). Do something like do a backflip while thanking Mr. Alarm clock for waking you up to a fantastic and fun filled day, (hopefully fun filled like a jelly donut).
Kiss your pet alligator! Sing “Good morning!” to your younger siblings and drag them out of bed! (Note: do not attempt for any goal under 4 years, little foals need their sleep to grow. See entry 216a for details.) Do something amazing!
Now, I understand if some of this ‘ain't’ your style. Everypony needs some time to get adjusted. But if there is one thing to try out, give yourself a inspirational speech in front of a mirror!
It may be a little awkward at first, but try it! Just like a new food, you won't know until you try!
When you are in a bathroom brushing your teeth, or getting out of the shower, greet the pony in the mirror with a funny face. (If the glass is fogged, you can use shaving cream to clear it up! For more life hacks for clearing mirrors, see Appendix 3.14).
Make the funniest face you can! Stick out your tongue! Blow a raspberry! Eat a raspberry! Speak in a raspy voice! When the pony on the other side starts to giggle or grin, you're ready for your day!
Now, if your reflection doesn't even so much as smirk, don't worry. I understand, there are some tough reflections. Trust me, I had to face off a thousand once! But, you have to start small. If your reflection doesn't smile your first time, don't worry. You haven't activated their funny bone yet.
Here is where the inspirational speech comes in. Tell the reflection how you feel, then wait. Wait. Wait. Then point a hoof (or claw, or whatever you can point with) towards your reflection and tell them, ‘Your awesome and I love you!’
Note: said reflection might not be used to this and might shy away awkwardly. Again, if you don't get it your first time, don't worry, they just aren't used to this abstract idea of confidence yet. But eventually, like everything, smiles and confidence are contagious as yawns.
Over time, the early bird inside you will awaken and your spirit will soar! (Entry 319. Paper Mache not included.)
Don't forget to smile often!
-End of Entry 57-
(For Getting ready for beddy-bye for non-night owls, see entry 58).
P.S. sorry, I accidentally spilled a jelly donut here. You can lick some if you like… it might taste a little inky though...
Entry #57 Getting up with Glee! For the Non-early Bird
Many ponies have asked me if i'm an early bird or a night owl. I don't know what all the fuss is about. I just don't see how I can be a bird… I don't even fly! Well, actually, I did invent a flying copter-pedal-machine (CPM for short) that a Griffon that I should not name smashed.
Anyways, all I'm saying is that you don't need wings to let your spirit soar. The sky's the limit when it comes to these things. Trust me, there is more than one way to Soar! Soar! Soar!
It first starts with becoming an early bird. (If you want, you can skip to entry 319, that shows you how to make wings out of paper mache! Unfortunately though, you need a powerful unicorn’s enchantment to fly. Adult supervision required when handling scissors).
Now, most ponies start off their days with a snoring, boring, zombified, crombified routine. They get up, whap that alarm clock, make a grumpy face and grumble while stomping their hooves to face another snoring boring day.
Now, why would anypony want to do something like that?
First start your mornings with something that makes you gain ear to ear! (If you can stretch your smile farther, let me know. I've been trying to stretch it farther for years). Do something like do a backflip while thanking Mr. Alarm clock for waking you up to a fantastic and fun filled day, (hopefully fun filled like a jelly donut).
Kiss your pet alligator! Sing “Good morning!” to your younger siblings and drag them out of bed! (Note: do not attempt for any goal under 4 years, little foals need their sleep to grow. See entry 216a for details.) Do something amazing!
Now, I understand if some of this ‘ain't’ your style. Everypony needs some time to get adjusted. But if there is one thing to try out, give yourself a inspirational speech in front of a mirror!
It may be a little awkward at first, but try it! Just like a new food, you won't know until you try!
When you are in a bathroom brushing your teeth, or getting out of the shower, greet the pony in the mirror with a funny face. (If the glass is fogged, you can use shaving cream to clear it up! For more life hacks for clearing mirrors, see Appendix 3.14).
Make the funniest face you can! Stick out your tongue! Blow a raspberry! Eat a raspberry! Speak in a raspy voice! When the pony on the other side starts to giggle or grin, you're ready for your day!
Now, if your reflection doesn't even so much as smirk, don't worry. I understand, there are some tough reflections. Trust me, I had to face off a thousand once! But, you have to start small. If your reflection doesn't smile your first time, don't worry. You haven't activated their funny bone yet.
Here is where the inspirational speech comes in. Tell the reflection how you feel, then wait. Wait. Wait. Then point a hoof (or claw, or whatever you can point with) towards your reflection and tell them, ‘Your awesome and I love you!’
Note: said reflection might not be used to this and might shy away awkwardly. Again, if you don't get it your first time, don't worry, they just aren't used to this abstract idea of confidence yet. But eventually, like everything, smiles and confidence are contagious as yawns.
Over time, the early bird inside you will awaken and your spirit will soar! (Entry 319. Paper Mache not included.)
Don't forget to smile often!
-End of Entry 57-
(For Getting ready for beddy-bye for non-night owls, see entry 58).
P.S. sorry, I accidentally spilled a jelly donut here. You can lick some if you like… it might taste a little inky though...
This is an interesting take on Pinkie's, er, Pinkieness. The slightly haphazard grammar and stream-of-consciousness style certainly feel like they could be from a journal entry by her.
I really do like the take on the prompt though. It's probably the most literal, out of all of these pieces, but the idea of Pinkie just cheering herself up in the mirror every morning is oddly heartwarming.
Edit: I'm pretty sure my eyes skipped over this the same way the authors did, but I have to point it out now I've noticed it - Pamphlet, in the title, is missing an L.
I really do like the take on the prompt though. It's probably the most literal, out of all of these pieces, but the idea of Pinkie just cheering herself up in the mirror every morning is oddly heartwarming.
Edit: I'm pretty sure my eyes skipped over this the same way the authors did, but I have to point it out now I've noticed it - Pamphlet, in the title, is missing an L.
I don't think that the pamphlet style has done you many favours here, author. That type of thing works well when there is some implied narrative happening behind the scenes—some previous context that warranted the writing of this pamphlet, or some specific pony it is being handed to. Without that, all you have is the lesson.
And it's a good lesson! 'Mirror work' is definitely a thing, and some people swear by it. But as it is it's just kind of sitting there, not supported by a story. Pinkie's voicing does sell it pretty well, and her randomness is well-realized, but while I appreciate the message, I wish there was more to learn about Pinkie's life, or about the life of somepony she's helped.
But thanks for writing anyways. It's a pleasant reminder.
Good luck in the contest!
P.S. One last thing. Pinkie seems to be simultaneously baffled by the 'early bird' and 'night owl', while also applying them correctly. She's weird, but she's not usually of two minds like that.
And it's a good lesson! 'Mirror work' is definitely a thing, and some people swear by it. But as it is it's just kind of sitting there, not supported by a story. Pinkie's voicing does sell it pretty well, and her randomness is well-realized, but while I appreciate the message, I wish there was more to learn about Pinkie's life, or about the life of somepony she's helped.
But thanks for writing anyways. It's a pleasant reminder.
Good luck in the contest!
P.S. One last thing. Pinkie seems to be simultaneously baffled by the 'early bird' and 'night owl', while also applying them correctly. She's weird, but she's not usually of two minds like that.
Also known as: Secure, Contain, Pinkie
Running impressions:
Nitpick: the title is repeated as the first paragraph, and it probably shouldn't be.
I can't decide whether “that a Griffon that I should not name smashed” is way wrong for Pinkie or just right. I think she'd have a sillier name for the device than “copter-pedal-machine” though.
… are the typos here and there also Pinkie? And the smushed-together entry heading? “gain ear to ear” later is especially distracting, as is “for any goal”. “Your awesome”.
Getting up for the non-early bird apparently starts with becoming an early bird. Huh?
This is a good rendition of Pinkie's voice for the most part, except for “snoring boring” being used twice in the same paragraph. Also aaagh, “life hacks” no. Why. Okay, I revise that: there's little bits of wrong sprinkled in. “abstract idea of confidence” also doesn't feel like Pinkie. Neither does the insistent entry numbering; I know she's actually a very organized pony underneath the silliness, but this feels like the wrong kind of level-mixing.
I think the last parenthetical should probably have come before the end-of-entry marker, especially with the P.S. at the end.
So… what is this supposed to be about? I'm left feeling like it doesn't really go anywhere. The journal monologue is funny, but it takes a long time for a shallow arc with a bunch of digressions that don't connect up, and even if that's in-character, where's the payoff for the reader?
Overall: I like a lot of the individual corn-kernels of it, but they don't jigsaw into anything meaningful. It doesn't work as cornbread because it doesn't hold together well enough, and it doesn't work as popcorn, because now instead of forgivable burnt edges on a piece of cornbread, you have burnt popcorn, with bursts of unfortunate flavor. And “how Pinkie Pie would recommend people get up in the morning” is too thin to be effective slice-of-life for me. Sorry, author. Slate: 13th of 13.
Running impressions:
Nitpick: the title is repeated as the first paragraph, and it probably shouldn't be.
I can't decide whether “that a Griffon that I should not name smashed” is way wrong for Pinkie or just right. I think she'd have a sillier name for the device than “copter-pedal-machine” though.
… are the typos here and there also Pinkie? And the smushed-together entry heading? “gain ear to ear” later is especially distracting, as is “for any goal”. “Your awesome”.
Getting up for the non-early bird apparently starts with becoming an early bird. Huh?
This is a good rendition of Pinkie's voice for the most part, except for “snoring boring” being used twice in the same paragraph. Also aaagh, “life hacks” no. Why. Okay, I revise that: there's little bits of wrong sprinkled in. “abstract idea of confidence” also doesn't feel like Pinkie. Neither does the insistent entry numbering; I know she's actually a very organized pony underneath the silliness, but this feels like the wrong kind of level-mixing.
I think the last parenthetical should probably have come before the end-of-entry marker, especially with the P.S. at the end.
So… what is this supposed to be about? I'm left feeling like it doesn't really go anywhere. The journal monologue is funny, but it takes a long time for a shallow arc with a bunch of digressions that don't connect up, and even if that's in-character, where's the payoff for the reader?
Overall: I like a lot of the individual corn-kernels of it, but they don't jigsaw into anything meaningful. It doesn't work as cornbread because it doesn't hold together well enough, and it doesn't work as popcorn, because now instead of forgivable burnt edges on a piece of cornbread, you have burnt popcorn, with bursts of unfortunate flavor. And “how Pinkie Pie would recommend people get up in the morning” is too thin to be effective slice-of-life for me. Sorry, author. Slate: 13th of 13.
This is an essay, not a story nor a vignette, albeit written to be by a fictional character. Does qualify it as a minific? Mort de l'auteur. It is a plotless exploration of character that is high in message. It entertained me, which is good, and the qualifying mirror prompt paragraphs were enlightening and wise, though much of the Pinkie-prattle felt to me like it sported sophisticated words Pinkie would not use. It needed more randomization, maybe. For a quick throw together, I'd say you did a pretty good job—but for the lack of story part.
Genre: Instructional Text
Thoughts: I am, regrettably, not in the target audience here. I have a much greater preference for stories in these contests, rather than other artifacts. I’ll make exceptions when something absolutely knocks it out of the park, such as with this contest’s Scrap of Paper in Applejack’s Drawers. But even there, I prefer when the work includes some kind of more story-like thrust, or a deeper look into a given character’s psyche.
What we get here is a competently assembled episode of Pinkie waxing manic about one of her ostensible favorite topics. There’s nothing wrong with that. But ultimately I’m not getting a “story” vibe from it. I think it also narrows its potential by focusing exclusively on Pinkie’s manic persona; I feel like Pinkie is more often made interesting by exploring her greater but sometimes less obvious depths.
Sorry Author. On the plus side, though, I ain’t gonna ding ya either.
Tier: Abstain
Thoughts: I am, regrettably, not in the target audience here. I have a much greater preference for stories in these contests, rather than other artifacts. I’ll make exceptions when something absolutely knocks it out of the park, such as with this contest’s Scrap of Paper in Applejack’s Drawers. But even there, I prefer when the work includes some kind of more story-like thrust, or a deeper look into a given character’s psyche.
What we get here is a competently assembled episode of Pinkie waxing manic about one of her ostensible favorite topics. There’s nothing wrong with that. But ultimately I’m not getting a “story” vibe from it. I think it also narrows its potential by focusing exclusively on Pinkie’s manic persona; I feel like Pinkie is more often made interesting by exploring her greater but sometimes less obvious depths.
Sorry Author. On the plus side, though, I ain’t gonna ding ya either.
Tier: Abstain
Every now and again, we get stories like these in the writeoff: excerpts from, say, instructional texts, manuals, etc. They tend to be done well, and they also tend to be written in such dense, scientific terms that my brain dribbles out my ear (this isn't a criticism of such texts, merely an acknowledgement that I am a Dumb-Dumb).
This one is... a mixed bag. It's much more accessible than some of the other stories that fit this trend, but it's also not as well done on a technical level. The grammatical issues and misspellings, I can forgive, however. As other people have noticed, they're in line with what you'd expect from a handwritten journal entry, and they fit the style of this piece.
And while I recognize that it isn't a story, per se... I still think it has something interesting to say about Pinkie Pie, given that she has to practice her smiles in front of the mirror constantly, and especially given that her reflection doesn't always cooperate. The implications of that are twofold: That Pinkie Pie is an eldritch abomination that stretches beyond time's demense, and that Pinkie Pie... in a more personal sense... just isn't as happy as she lets on.
And it's the latter interpretation that I think makes this story stand out. It's not a technical masterpiece, but it has something interesting to say about Pinkie Pie, and it uses her own characterization/status as a fourth-wall breaker to say it.
The argument here isn't "lol, Pinkie Pie's so random XD," it's "being so wacky and random and out-there is not as natural to Pinkie as she lets on, and she's probably hurting someplace, deep down."
That's what makes this interesting, to me.
This one is... a mixed bag. It's much more accessible than some of the other stories that fit this trend, but it's also not as well done on a technical level. The grammatical issues and misspellings, I can forgive, however. As other people have noticed, they're in line with what you'd expect from a handwritten journal entry, and they fit the style of this piece.
And while I recognize that it isn't a story, per se... I still think it has something interesting to say about Pinkie Pie, given that she has to practice her smiles in front of the mirror constantly, and especially given that her reflection doesn't always cooperate. The implications of that are twofold: That Pinkie Pie is an eldritch abomination that stretches beyond time's demense, and that Pinkie Pie... in a more personal sense... just isn't as happy as she lets on.
And it's the latter interpretation that I think makes this story stand out. It's not a technical masterpiece, but it has something interesting to say about Pinkie Pie, and it uses her own characterization/status as a fourth-wall breaker to say it.
The argument here isn't "lol, Pinkie Pie's so random XD," it's "being so wacky and random and out-there is not as natural to Pinkie as she lets on, and she's probably hurting someplace, deep down."
That's what makes this interesting, to me.
Now for the obligatory retrospect
Disclaimer- I feel it is starting to aggravate other writers. If it is, just tell me and I'll shut my yapper (or fingers, since it is typing).
>>Meridian_Prime
:facehoof: gah! It's errors like these that chop down my anonymity. I'll get right to fixing that.
Thanks for participating and welcome to the Writeoff! (I haven't seen you around before. If I read past comment correctly, you are new to the Writeoff. If I am wrong, forgive me.)
>>Miller Minus
Good Point. Maybe she should hoof it off to Twilight who is having a bad day, or somepony in bad circumstance. That may be the key to make this one better, and as a standalone, it is out of context and barren.
>>Light_Striker
Upon reviewing your review, I'd say it is best out of the bunch. I guess it is better to have more info than very little. That is just preference.
Like I said to Meridian, typos and more that chop down the veil of anonymity. I'll be working on being more careful. I do agree that “abstract idea of confidence” is a little too technical for Pinkie. Sounds more like Twilight.
The way this is arranged is very in-character, but the digression doesn't do it any service. ‘Burnt Popcorn’, as you say.
Thanks for the review!
>>scifipony
>>CoffeeMinion
You're absolutely right when it comes to non-story material. It's just my way of spicing things up. Since my actual story writing is crap, I resort to something I feel a little more confident about- observation/informative. But, I should really quit doing that. There is a time that I must sit down and learn how to actually write.
>>Posh
Now, this comment was unexpected. Your interpretation might be a better route to take to give this piece a little more depth.
It's interesting you bring this up, because after the fact, I watched a clip of Yakety-Sax. Ultimately, that clip challenged my view of Pinkie as she is, and I couldn't help but think to myself “That's strange… she is usually not like that…”
Maybe it was on a subconscious level that the interpretation holds true :pinkiecrazy:
Final Words-
Unfortunately, this will be scrapped. I don't know what I was thinking sending this one through. Bad judgement on my part.
I guess sometimes you have to learn the hard way.
Genre: How my 2019 is going so far
Disclaimer- I feel it is starting to aggravate other writers. If it is, just tell me and I'll shut my yapper (or fingers, since it is typing).
>>Meridian_Prime
:facehoof: gah! It's errors like these that chop down my anonymity. I'll get right to fixing that.
Thanks for participating and welcome to the Writeoff! (I haven't seen you around before. If I read past comment correctly, you are new to the Writeoff. If I am wrong, forgive me.)
>>Miller Minus
Good Point. Maybe she should hoof it off to Twilight who is having a bad day, or somepony in bad circumstance. That may be the key to make this one better, and as a standalone, it is out of context and barren.
>>Light_Striker
Upon reviewing your review, I'd say it is best out of the bunch. I guess it is better to have more info than very little. That is just preference.
Like I said to Meridian, typos and more that chop down the veil of anonymity. I'll be working on being more careful. I do agree that “abstract idea of confidence” is a little too technical for Pinkie. Sounds more like Twilight.
The way this is arranged is very in-character, but the digression doesn't do it any service. ‘Burnt Popcorn’, as you say.
Thanks for the review!
>>scifipony
>>CoffeeMinion
You're absolutely right when it comes to non-story material. It's just my way of spicing things up. Since my actual story writing is crap, I resort to something I feel a little more confident about- observation/informative. But, I should really quit doing that. There is a time that I must sit down and learn how to actually write.
>>Posh
Now, this comment was unexpected. Your interpretation might be a better route to take to give this piece a little more depth.
It's interesting you bring this up, because after the fact, I watched a clip of Yakety-Sax. Ultimately, that clip challenged my view of Pinkie as she is, and I couldn't help but think to myself “That's strange… she is usually not like that…”
Maybe it was on a subconscious level that the interpretation holds true :pinkiecrazy:
Final Words-
Unfortunately, this will be scrapped. I don't know what I was thinking sending this one through. Bad judgement on my part.
I guess sometimes you have to learn the hard way.
Genre: How my 2019 is going so far
>>PinoyPony
You are indeed correct, and thank you! I'll definitely be sticking around for future ones, this was fun.
You are indeed correct, and thank you! I'll definitely be sticking around for future ones, this was fun.