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Ode to the Artistic Temperament
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Good Stuff: I loved this one! The idea: fantastic. The poetry: a breath of fresh air. The execution: elegantly done. The twist of Medusa making sculpures and giving up her evil ways was very clever, and I liked how her development was traced over time compared with her two vengeful sisters. She goes from realism over her chances against humanity, to pragmatism, to genuine investment in the craft she takes up and it's "honesty", and it seemed surprising and delightful to me. I especially liked how she met other artists in the cafe and seems so human herself now, but still has to take precautions like feeding her hair and disguising herself. It's the attention to details like that makes this so real and vivid. The rhyming is excellent, and you have a great turn of phrase, classical in a modern setting..
Bad Stuff: Really nitpicking here, but I thought some of the word choices, like "kvetch" and "lewd", seemed out-of-place. (I really don't get the "lewd" one in context; it seems to imply a sexual element that's not there in context). I also wonder if the last verse could contain one more mention of the two sisters to make it complete; they just disappear after a while. Lastly, the spaces every three lines felt like they should be closed, particularly when there's run-on lines from one to another.
Verdict: Top Contender. I mean top contender. I love the lateral thinking, the clever play with the gorgon myth, and also the way it's developed naturally in the story to genuine appreciation of art and humanity. The pleasing language with modern and classical bits in it is mixed together cleverly.
Bad Stuff: Really nitpicking here, but I thought some of the word choices, like "kvetch" and "lewd", seemed out-of-place. (I really don't get the "lewd" one in context; it seems to imply a sexual element that's not there in context). I also wonder if the last verse could contain one more mention of the two sisters to make it complete; they just disappear after a while. Lastly, the spaces every three lines felt like they should be closed, particularly when there's run-on lines from one to another.
Verdict: Top Contender. I mean top contender. I love the lateral thinking, the clever play with the gorgon myth, and also the way it's developed naturally in the story to genuine appreciation of art and humanity. The pleasing language with modern and classical bits in it is mixed together cleverly.
My review:
Style, Form, and Grammar: This story, out of all of them that I've read so far, stands head and shoulders above the rest in terms of quality wordsmithing. I'm not much one for poetry, but I can tell that this is quality stuff, both in how the actual lines are written, as well as how it tells the story. The only thing that sort of confused me, is how there's a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme, but the stanzas are only three lines each.
If I had to pick a weakest part, though, I'd probably say part I (for its mundane subject matter, and my repeated inability to find the right meter for speaking it aloud), which as I'm sure you know, is the most unfortunate part to be the weak link. I was definitely hooked by the later parts, though.
Plot and Pacing: The plot is novel, not too much and not too little for a flash poem like this. It also suits Medusa's "ancient epic" vibe nicely; we naturally get the impression that she wrote it herself.
Pacing is also superior, and the flashback to the bit with her sisters fits perfectly and gives just the right amount of detail.
Characters and Dialogue: I find myself torn (in maybe 90% a good way, and only 10% a confusing way) whether to view Medusa as an antihero, or villain-turned-good, or essentially-good-all-along. Because while she's cleverer and/or more peaceful than her sisters, she also seemed to give up the habit of petrifying people for selfish reasons, at least originally. But hey, the epics of old were like that, weren't they?
Final: With only a few contestants left for me to read, this story will usurp the top of my ballot.
Style, Form, and Grammar: This story, out of all of them that I've read so far, stands head and shoulders above the rest in terms of quality wordsmithing. I'm not much one for poetry, but I can tell that this is quality stuff, both in how the actual lines are written, as well as how it tells the story. The only thing that sort of confused me, is how there's a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme, but the stanzas are only three lines each.
If I had to pick a weakest part, though, I'd probably say part I (for its mundane subject matter, and my repeated inability to find the right meter for speaking it aloud), which as I'm sure you know, is the most unfortunate part to be the weak link. I was definitely hooked by the later parts, though.
Plot and Pacing: The plot is novel, not too much and not too little for a flash poem like this. It also suits Medusa's "ancient epic" vibe nicely; we naturally get the impression that she wrote it herself.
Pacing is also superior, and the flashback to the bit with her sisters fits perfectly and gives just the right amount of detail.
Characters and Dialogue: I find myself torn (in maybe 90% a good way, and only 10% a confusing way) whether to view Medusa as an antihero, or villain-turned-good, or essentially-good-all-along. Because while she's cleverer and/or more peaceful than her sisters, she also seemed to give up the habit of petrifying people for selfish reasons, at least originally. But hey, the epics of old were like that, weren't they?
Final: With only a few contestants left for me to read, this story will usurp the top of my ballot.
This is excellently done. But I'm a total simpleton when it comes to poetry so I won't dare critique it. Just wanted to stop by and say Hi, and thanks for letting me read this.
I've been thinking more about these original contests and what constitutes "original". Obviously this story fits the rules as nobody owns Medusa (she's her own woman), but is it in the spirit, as Cassius asked of the Asenath story? I'm not sure. It only relies a little bit on us knowing Medusa (she has snakes and petrifies people), so I think it's quite safe in that regard. But still, in this upcoming writeoff meeting, I wonder if a conversation about the extent of originality required in these contests wouldn't be worthwhile. This would be a good example to discuss, among others.
I've been thinking more about these original contests and what constitutes "original". Obviously this story fits the rules as nobody owns Medusa (she's her own woman), but is it in the spirit, as Cassius asked of the Asenath story? I'm not sure. It only relies a little bit on us knowing Medusa (she has snakes and petrifies people), so I think it's quite safe in that regard. But still, in this upcoming writeoff meeting, I wonder if a conversation about the extent of originality required in these contests wouldn't be worthwhile. This would be a good example to discuss, among others.
>>Filler
Thanks; should've figured there was a basis to it. Same probably goes for my comment about the meter; I'm just not familiar enough with poetry to discern it.
Thanks; should've figured there was a basis to it. Same probably goes for my comment about the meter; I'm just not familiar enough with poetry to discern it.
Love this poem. The quality of the rhyme and rhythm goes up and down a lot, at times it feels like it bends the rules just to squeeze a line in, but the overall vibe I get from it is fantastic, outweighing any "structural" issues I see in it (in fact, considering the short deadline, even this is amazing). It's a whole story, it's emotional, no "punchline ending", and it's all told in a format that is much harder to pull off well than in simple prose.
Well done, definitely my favorite so far!
Well done, definitely my favorite so far!
I'm very not surprised this made it into the finals ! This is easily a stand-out favorite from this round !
I'm with a few others though sometimes it feels a little rule-bendy and some word choices are strange but still the story and emotion are strong. I really appreciate this interpretation of Medusa as a character !
I'm with a few others though sometimes it feels a little rule-bendy and some word choices are strange but still the story and emotion are strong. I really appreciate this interpretation of Medusa as a character !
I'll just:
Agree with everyone, I guess. Beginnings are always tricky and especially in poems, author, so take a look at making that first section as smooth as possible. And maybe add another section in the middle so we can see Medusa reacting to the news of her sisters being caught and killed--though in actual mythology, weren't her sisters immortal and she was the one who got killed? :)
Mike
Agree with everyone, I guess. Beginnings are always tricky and especially in poems, author, so take a look at making that first section as smooth as possible. And maybe add another section in the middle so we can see Medusa reacting to the news of her sisters being caught and killed--though in actual mythology, weren't her sisters immortal and she was the one who got killed? :)
Mike
Thanks, folks!
Congrats to the other medalists and a special big happy grin to Groaning, HiTime, and Anonymous for making the lovely artwork!
As soon as I saw it was a minific round, I got the itch to do some poetry. Sonnets average about 100 words apiece, so five of those in a sequence would do it. But I'm always writing sonnets, so I thought I'd try something different. I remembered somebody somewhere talking about odes written in terza rima and saying that each of the sections--strophes, they call 'em--has 14 lines and is kind of like a sonnet. So there it was.
When the prompt dropped, the idea that odes originated in ancient Greece made me think of Greek gods hiding among us in modern society, and I immediately thought of Medusa heading downtown to a pet store run by Pan to get mice for her hair. The thing changed as I wrote it and will change more before I send it out to a couple poetry venues.
Thanks again!
Mike
Congrats to the other medalists and a special big happy grin to Groaning, HiTime, and Anonymous for making the lovely artwork!
As soon as I saw it was a minific round, I got the itch to do some poetry. Sonnets average about 100 words apiece, so five of those in a sequence would do it. But I'm always writing sonnets, so I thought I'd try something different. I remembered somebody somewhere talking about odes written in terza rima and saying that each of the sections--strophes, they call 'em--has 14 lines and is kind of like a sonnet. So there it was.
When the prompt dropped, the idea that odes originated in ancient Greece made me think of Greek gods hiding among us in modern society, and I immediately thought of Medusa heading downtown to a pet store run by Pan to get mice for her hair. The thing changed as I wrote it and will change more before I send it out to a couple poetry venues.
Thanks again!
Mike
In case folks:
Wanna read the final version of this--and even hear me reading it--it just got posted on the Silver Blade website. :)
Mike
Wanna read the final version of this--and even hear me reading it--it just got posted on the Silver Blade website. :)
Mike