Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
A Shift From Glamour and Vanity
Lights centered onto the wooden stage with a flick. With a mic check and a one two three, it was at this moment that the show had begun.
Fireworks erupted from behind the scenes. They exploded into a magnificent beauty from atop the center of the stage. Sparks and magical essence shot out from the sides. The joyous sounds of explosions and fire engulfed the area, it caught the attention of those far and wide.
The entire stage had been a center of awe and spectacle, it was as if a Goddess had touched the performance with an inspiration of absolute beauty. It was at the perfect moment for the performer. They stepped out from behind the back stage curtain. Dressed in her usual starry cape and hat, she bowed.
Her bows may have went on for a bit longer than what she had been pleased with. She ignored it and continued.
“Citizens of Hoovesendale, I have come from lands that, here, have only been talked about in rumors. I have seen things that I wish to share with you from places unimaginable! Be prepared to be amazed by the awe inspiring, the gravity defying, the Great and Powerful T-rrr-ixie!”
With her finale to her introduction insured, the stage had been engulfed in a brilliant light of absolute white. The sounds of magnificent booms were the only thing conceived.
By it’s end, the centerpiece of attention had died down to the soft sounds of Trixie walking along the stage. She magically pulled up a black wooden box onto the stage. It’s front had faced the audience.
“For my first trick,” she began, “I would like you to take an interest in this here coffin. Inside here isn’t what you’d normally believe it to be. The weak of heart, look away now, for the contents will without a doubt scare you to death! Inside here lies your very worst nightmare!”
Trixie faced the coffin. With a spell and a sparkle, the lock unchained itself. The door creaked as it cracked open. An unnerving yelp escaped from the crowd as the figure of a snake head emerged from the side. As the door opened more, the body of a lion and the tail of a snake came through, somehow sewn and attached together. From within the audience, a faint was heard.
The beast yelled it’s loud roar across the stage. His teeth salivated as it looked across past the stage into the crowd of ponies. A fireball formed at the edges of his teeth. It grew as the monster reared it’s head back until he threw it toward the crowd.
A widened eye watcher stood still as the fireball hurtled toward them, but a blue shield had emitted itself to protect the woeful citizen.
“Feast your eyes on the mighty dragon, a terrorizing, fire-breathing monster that eats little fillies for breakfast! But do not worry, dear citizens, for I, the Great and Powerful Trixie will put an end to the wrath that he has stirred you with Trixie’s mighty prowess!” The Great and Powerful Trixie boasted.
A beam of light zapped out of Trixie’s horn, it sparked the beast. It’s attention had turned toward the unicorn.
“Hit me with your best shot, horrible dragon!” Trixie’s horn illuminated as the beast opened its mouth once more to charge another fireball. With it, he flung his flame toward the blue unicorn, who, upon contact of the fireball, repelled it. The fireball spun past her, it exploded far into the distance within the background.
“Now begone!” Trixie yelled once more. A ball of telekinesis picked up the dragon and flung him back into the coffin, locked shut.
Trixie didn’t wait for the applause. “Now, who would appreciate my seco-”
“Get off the stage!”
A tomato flew toward the magician. It hit her square in the face. She yelped and recoiled back after an onslaught of more vegetables pleted her.
“What is wrong with you!” She began. “Have you no respect for the Great and Powerful Trixie?!”
To no avail, she exited the stage.
“That was about the worst performance I’ve seen in my life.”
Feint Twinkle’s pancakes had become engulfed in syrup as he impatiently hovered the bottle with shaking teeth. He faced Sparkleberry with a collection of wrinkles.
“Do you really mean it, Grandpa?” Sparkleberry’s whimper cried from the back of her throat.
“You’re right he means it!” Aura Bright piped in. “My eardrums popped from how loud those noises were! And I was practically blind the entire show!”
“That’s right,” the husband said. “She darn near gave your aunt a heart attack too! Her yelp was heard all across the entire town, and she even fainted too!”
“And after that,” Aura Bright continued, “and when I was finally getting back to my senses, that darn beast blew my eardrums yet again!”
Feint Twinkle’s fork clacked against the plate. “And don’t even get me started on how much fire damage she caused the city! Just thinking about it gets me even more angry than I am right now! Burned a pony’s flank and set a building on fire, too! She’s insane!”
“I don’t know what you youngsters are getting into these days, but whatever it is, I-I-I don’t like it. You’d best stay away from her type, dearie.” Aura Bright flipped her pancake while it cooked on the pan. When it was done, she put it on a plate to serve Sparkleberry.
Aura Bright gave the filly a stern look before she spoke up. “Don’t sit there and pout, now. Eat your pancakes and go off to school before you’re late.”
“Yes, granny.”
As the conversation halted and time passed, Sparkleberry already found herself walking out the front door.
“Have a nice day at school, sweetie!” Aura Bright yelled from across the house. Sparkleberry jumped at how loud she made herself. Maybe she did become partially deaf after all.
With a farewell, Sparkleberry found herself back into the cycle of things. She walked toward the schoolyard at the end of the town. At her destination, she entered the building and took her seat.
After the ring of a bell and a roll call, the teacher began today’s lesson.
“Now, everyone’s attention please! No more talking!” She hushed the class.
“Today we have a guest speaker coming in. She’s representing Equestria’s “Build A Wish” Foundation, Miss Lulamoon!”
The entire class groaned, except for Sparkleberry.
“Now, now, she may have caused an accident the previous day, but do please give her respect. Miss Lulamoon?” She called out to the front door. “You may make your appearance now!”
The class was followed by silence for a while. The students and teacher stared at the door until it burst open with a thrust of magic. What the kids were forced to witness then was Trixie, who entered the room being dragged. By the tail into the classroom, a unicorn unknown to the class set Trixie in the middle of attention as the mare in question covered her face with her hooves.
“Miss Lulamoon?” The teacher spoke up.
“Sorry, she’s been like this all day.” The unicorn spit Trixie’s tail out of her mouth.
“And you might be?”
“Starlight Glimmer. Trixie’s backstage assistant.”
A hoof raised from one of the students. “Does she have stage fright?”
“Trixie does not!” Trixie’s muffled yell escaped through her arms.
“Then why are you hiding?” the student asked.
Trixie got up and straightened herself out. Despite this, however, a radiance of pride still managed to glow around her stature. She was about to speak up, but she was interrupted by Starlight.
“She was practicing the proper way to apologize to everyone in this room. Isn’t that right, Trixie?”
“Apologize?! To a bunch of unappreciative children who don’t appreciate entertainment?” She humphed, eyes closed and faced away. Starlight rolled her eyes.
A hoof slowly raised up from Sparkleberry. “Actually, I liked it.”
A single eye shot open at these words from Trixie to glance over her shoulder at the individual. Trixie looked to Starlight, who only gave her a supportive smile.
“Then the Great and Powerful Trixie can give you an apology,” Trixie continued. “But only to you.”
Starlight voiced in. “By a show of hooves, who here didn’t like Trixie’s performance?”
The entire class shot up, all except for Sparkleberry.
“My dad said that the damage you did would take months to repair,” one student yelled.
“They also say that Miss Light is going to be in the hospital for the rest of the week,” another voiced.
“Yes, yes, and Trixie is fully aware that she is going to be working for the rest of the time she’s here in order to fix her mistakes.” Starlight Glimmer glanced over to Trixie, who looked too busy pouting to seem as if she payed attention.
“Though she can be stubborn, she is a really nice pony at heart. Trust me, I know Trixie as a best friend to realize her peaks and pitfalls. While this may seem as her biggest blunder, and yes it’s not,” Starlight chuckled, “I know that even she’s the type of pony that can’t run away from mistakes this huge.”
The room was left silent as Sunset gave another endearing smile toward her best friend. Trixie caught on and responded.
“Can it with your praises, Starlight. Even the Great and Powerful Trixie isn’t perfect.” Trixie relaxed her posture and opened toward the class more. “And from the collective input given by the class today, combined with Sunset’s, The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to give a full apology this time. And to everyone.”
“So, Trixie is sorry,” Trixie said. A moment passed. It was all that she had said.
“Sorry for...” Starlight dragged on.
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie is sorry causing your town so many troubles. And she would like to make up for it.”
Absolutely unexpected, a single round of applause erupted from the audience. Sparkleberry continued to clap at Trixie’s achievement, only for her classmates to join in with the passage of the moment. The entire class applauded Trixie, the teacher and Starlight included. Surprised, Trixie’s face shifted to one of confusion and then to embarrassment as she made out the situation. Through it, however, she stared at the ceiling.
“Now, that wasn’t that hard, was it, Trixie?” Starlight Glimmer spoke once the applause died down.
“Just get on with it, Starlight.” Trixie half-heartedly rolled her eyes away, mostly in an attempt to keep off eye contact.
“You sure? That was a pretty important lesson, after all.”
“Trixie is sure.”
“Alright, children,” the teacher broke from her silence. “If anyone has any questions for these two, please raise your hand and ask one at a time.”
Starberry was given the first opportunity. “What’s it like being a travel pony?”
Trixie scoffed. “Why, it’s the best thing imaginable! Not only do I get to show everypony my amazing talents, I also become famous for doing so!”
“Does it pay well?” a student from the back asked.
“While it can most definitely be better, Trixie does not pay attention to such little objects such as pay. She gets by with what she can, whether it be through her skill or her knowledge.”
“Have you had any amazing encounters?”
“Encounters? By The Great and Powerful Trixie? Please, just about every day Trixie is defeating foes that oppose Equestria!”
“Will you tell us one?”
“Yeah, can you tell us a story?” The class erupted with a frenzy as the children demanded Trixie.
“Why, of course Trixie can!” she said. The children responded with enthusiasm then gave her the spotlight.
“It was when Trixie was traveling that she came about a town. A small village, the residents who were unknown of Trixie’s amazing prowess. She set up her show without hesitation and gave them a presentation that would absolutely blow their minds!”
Trixie began motioning her words with her hooves. She continued. “They doubted my word when Trixie said that she was the best magician in all of Equestria. ‘Who here would wish to stand up to the amazing capabilities possessed by the Great and Powerful Trixie?’ Trixie observed the crowd. Absolutely no one had the courage to show their face in front of the amazing Trixie.”
“Be it as they wish. I selected a unicorn, one who I sensed was adept with her magic. She came onto stage and accepted the spar. Trixie decided it was best to at least give her a standing chance. When the battle begun, sparks flew across the stage from Trixie and her opponent!” Trixie pulled out a few balls out of her back pocket. They collided with the ground as sparks flew out from their containers, the rest dissipating into a beautiful magical dust.
The children collectively leaned in toward the presentation. The class was astonished by their sight as it left them absolutely speechless.
“With the dust and sparks settled, Trixie emerged out unscathed by the entire ordeal! Her opponent, however, ran off stage crying! Trixie had turned her mane into a repugnant disaster!”
“You mean like what you did during your show?” one student scoffed. The class laughed, but kept their attention to the speaker.
Trixie became flustered in red, but she couldn’t find it within herself to be angry this time. “Fine. Trixie has already apologized, so she will realize the error of her ways and learn from her mistake. Continuing!”
“It was only me left on the stage. Nopony dared to challenge me within the crowd. That is, all for except one. In light of what I had done to her friend, she took upon herself the challenge to gain vengeance against the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
“The match began, but this time it was different. Trixie knew the raw amounts of power that her foe possessed. If Trixie was going to win this, she would require to go all out!”
“But the odds still weren’t in Trixie’s favor. At the beginning of the match, without hesitation, Trixie’s opponent had summoned an Usra Major!”
“What’s an Usra Major?” one of the students asked, to which Trixie pulled out a couple of more trinkets from her back pocket. “It looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie will have to show you.” A puff of smoke came, and inside the class the image of a great purple bear faced the students menacingly. Even Trixie felt the nervous shakes from the children’s seats.
“To you, this may seem like an unformidable foe. However, Trixie knew her own capabilities!” With a swirl of the smoke scattered across the room, Trixie condensed it into a smaller, less frightening version of the bear.
“Trixie with all of her magic and all of her strength, carried the gigantic beast. In it’s scared stiff state, Trixie calmed the beast and put it to sleep with her amazing capabilities! She then rested it back into the Everfree Forest. And for the mare? She saw her demise with the loss of her final trick and was too scared to face me after that. She ran herself out of town, her tail in between her hooves!”
The class gave her a round of an applause. Trixie’s nose bowed to the ground as she showed her appreciation. The teacher came from the side of the room.
“Great job girls!” she applauded. “However, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. Everyone, please give Trixie another round of applause for giving the time she could to speak with us today!”
The next set wasn’t as much, but Trixie still smiled anyways.
“To be honest, I didn’t think it was going to go that well.” Starlight looked to Trixie as they both walked down the path of the arctic tundra. The waves of the sea clashed against the rock below as they continued forward.
“What, you didn’t have faith in the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie teased.
“No, I knew you were going to snap out of it eventually. But to win over the students too? I’d probably consider that a bonus.”
“Just give the residents of this town enough time, Starlight. They will come to understand the true spectacle that is truly the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“It sounds like you’re fired up, then,” Starlight gave a determined smile to Trixie, to which she retrieved one back.
“Point Trixie to a resident of this town and she’ll win them over! There’s no need to cower in front of these individuals anymore! Trixie is a new pony now! She’ll win over this entire town if she has to!”
“Hey, You!” an elderly spectator yelled from behind. The duo turned to see a wrinkled stallion who walked along the same path as them.
Trixie cracked her neck and smiled as she went to work.
“The mayor of the town wants to have a word with you. He’s thinking of giving you a second chance.”
“See, Starlight?” Trixie peered back to her partner. “It was only a matter of time.”
The stallion’s brow glowered at the apparent show of courage from the mare. “Don’t think you can get off with a happy mood. We still haven’t overlooked what happened last night.”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry. Trixie has this under control.” She turned away. She disregarded the the other two and continued down the street without another word. Her stride in each step was enough to show how much confidence she had built up.
“Is she always this stuck up?” the stallion asked Starlight.
“In her mind, I believe she just went through a major victory. She’ll snap out of it soon enough.”
The stallion groaned as he gave acknowledgement.
“You know where we can find the mayor?” Sunset asked.
“In the town hall.” He pointed back toward the city, the same direction Trixie took off. “You’ll know the building by the sign out front.
Sunset gave her thanks to the stallion and took off. She caught up to the mare and took by her side.
“Have you calmed down yet, Trixie?” The two faced the town hall, both with a different set of expressions. Trixie paced herself inside a circle, she kept her eye off of the building and Starlight.
“Trixie does not understand why Starlight is asking her such questions. Trixie has not felt odd nor has she felt any different in the past few minutes.”
“What about you saying that you felt capable of changing this entire town’s opinion?”
A muffle was heard under Trixie’s breath as her face browed in remembrance of what she had done. “That was a different time for Trixie. Now is a time for reconnaissance and strategic planning. We do not want to underestimate our opponents, Starlight.”
“Oh come on, it’ll be just like the time when I was nervous to go back into my home town.”
“Are you assuming that Trixie is nervous? Not at all!” Trixie stopped her pacing. She looked past Starlight as her brows lowered at the accusation.
“I’m glad then. Stick by my side and follow my lead,” Starlight comforted Trixie with her approach on her. Trixie’s eyes rolled in half-hearted objection as the two entered the building side by side.
Inside, the two came to a surprise to realize how many ponies were seated about the hall. From the far wall, a bingo square was called. Starlight moved forward toward a group of elderly ponies where Trixie somewhat lacked behind.
“Excuse me,” Starlight began. The mare who appeared to be a grandmother looked at the two and gasped at the sight of Trixie.
“You’re the mare who nearly broke my son’s back! I hope you’ve come to apologize to all of us for last night.”
Trixie stayed silent. Starlight spoke up instead. “That’s exactly why we’re here. The mayor gave us a second chance, see, and we’re wondering where they currently are.”
The grandmother hummed. “Yeah, she said something about giving you a second chance. She should be seated right next to the announcer. You’ll know her once you see her glasses.”
“Thank you,” Starlight said as walked away from the table. At the side of the collective bingo players, she looked back at the almost defiant Trixie.
“Holding up back there?” Starlight turned with compassion in her voice.
“Trixie is holding up just fine.” She scoffed, but it then turned into a smile as she contagiously contracted it from Starlight. “Thank you for checking,” she said, finally.
“No problem.”
Starlight approached the table with a mare of ridiculously sized glasses. Starlight coughed, she alearted the attention of the aged mare.
“Hello, we’re here because you called us?” Starlight’s beam faced the mare, until motion came about from the mare to the side of her.
“Sorry, you two. This here is my mother, I’m the mayor.” A middle-aged mare held herself in front of her mother’s position. Sunset realized that she, too, had goofy glasses by the looks of the swirls upon them. “Should’ve made it more clear for you to find me than what you’ve probably went through.”
Without a chance for Starlight to continue, Trixie interrupted with an apology.
“No, it should be us who’s apologizing.” Trixie’s head lowered as she spoke up from beside Starlight. Starlight looked back to this and lowered her head alongside her friend’s.
“Well, you shouldn’t be apologizing to me. The one’s you made it trouble for are... well, the citizens, after all. But after knowing what you’ve been through for the past couple of day, I’m thinking that you’ve learned your lesson already.”
“So, it’s true that you’re giving us a second chance?” Starlight raised her head.
“Yep. I’m confident that the residents will have no problem with you trying again. That is, well, if you read this list of complaints they made.”
Trixie levitated the list. Her emotion was easily read by both Starlight and the mayor.
“No fireworks?” Trixie half-screamed.
“Hey, don’t put it up with me. More than half this town are elderly and even I had doubts that your show last night was going to work well after seeing the opening.”
Trixie growled, but continued. “Trixie can make due with what has been provided with on this list. How long does Trixie have until the next show?”
“Tomorrow would be fine, or even the day after. Well, you can have as long as you like, really.”
“It is settled then. But do know that Trixie will still not hold back. By the end of this, you will be amazed!”
“Yeah, yeah. Make sure the show is great,” the mayor smiled.
“Come Starlight! We have work to do!”
Sparkleberry’s curiosity had finally reached it’s peak. She peered at the corner of the building, her eyes were set on the travel home that was decorated in blue and stars. The occupants of such travel home talked to one another, unknown of Sparkleberry’s presence. She peered further with a sparkle in her eye, only to pull herself back.
“Okay, this is fine.” Sparkleberry took a deep breath. “I’m going to go up to her and tell her that she can do this!”
Sparkleberry looked around the corner again, but whined at her lack of a spine.
“I know she must be having so much hatred toward her too, and I really don’t want to add on top of the list. What if she thinks I’m pitying her?”
She wanted to bang her head against the wall, but advised herself not to midway. She wanted to smack her cheeks and tell herself to just do it already, but she wussed out before she made contact. Eventually Sparkleberry’s anticipation built up. She span in a circle with her eyes closed. Upon the dizziness and confusion, she opened them back up to see a purple unicorn staring at her from above.
“You alright?” Starlight’s eyebrow was at it’s peak with curiosity. Sparkleberry simply nodded.
“Um... well...” Sparkleberry got to all fours and faced Starlight. “Could you take me to Miss Trixie please?”
“Gladly,” was the first thing Starlight said as she took the lead. “Did you need to speak to her about something?”
“Kind of...” Sparkleberry murmured.
Starlight knocked on the wooden wall of the travel home. It’s occupant was heard from within.
“Back so soon, Starlight? Have you come up with an idea?”
“Nope, but there is someone here wanting to meet you.”
Trixie glanced out the window to the two ponies outside. “Oh, I remember you,” Trixie began. “You’re the wide eyed one from the classroom. So, you need something from the Great and Powerful Trixie?”
“Well...” Sparkleberry began. “Actually, it’s a bit different from what I wanted, but I heard that you didn’t have an idea?”
“Mhmm. Trixie and Starlight are coming up with ideas as to what to show. Do you have anything that comes to mind that will inspire Trixie?”
“Back in the classroom, you told us the story about one of your great adventures.”
“Yes, Trixie is quite the storyteller,” Trixie praised herself.
“I was thinking that you could tell the town a story, just like you did to us. My grandparents are always hearing about stories like that from my mom and dad, and I’m sure that if you told them that story, they would absolutely love it!”
Trixie put a hoof to her chin and hummed. “That does sound like a convincing idea to Trixie. Starlight? Your opinion?”
“I’m all for it. It sounds interesting.”
“Yes, it does sound interesting,” Trixie confirmed, “but Trixie does not tell a story twice. How about this, child. Instead of a story you’ve already heard, Trixie will tell a better story. One that will top even the previously told!”
“Really? A story better than that?”
“You have Trixie’s word. Trixie knows the story to tell, and she knows exactly how she can do it. We’ll need more assistants than just one, though.”
“Trixie,” Starlight spoke up.
Trixie continued to nod to herself in her thought. “Yes, Starlight?”
“I was thinking that since we’re talking about a bunch of elderly, wouldn’t it make sense to use characters they know and love?”
“And replace the Great and Powerful Trixie? Are you insane?”
“No, I mean as in we take actors for the show.”
“That would make it easier for Trixie,” Trixie confirmed. “How about this. What’s your name?” Trixie glanced toward Sparkleberry.
“Does that mean that I can be in it too?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Trixie is willing to allow this, for only this one time.”
Sparkleberry squealed as she hopped on her hooves in joy.
“But first, Trixie requires a name.”
“Sparkleberry! The name’s Sparkleberry!”
“Alright Sparkleberry, you have about one hour to meet Trixie back here with three other classmates. Do not be late for Trixie.”
“Oh boy, oh boy! I’ll be right back, then!”
The night had still been young as Starlight walked among the crowd that had amassed. Everypony had waited in front of Trixie’s stage and she was included for the time being as she approached the town mayor.
“Everything’s looking good. Is the show going to commence soon?” she asked Sunset.
“Not just yet. I’m doing a couple of last moment efforts and getting everyone together. Not surprising, but Trixie’s pulled herself into a corner and is just begging me to help her out.”
“Well, I’m glad that the girl has someone to trust on. Who knows how she would’ve made it through all of this without you by her side.”
“Yeah,” Starlight reminisced as her eyes began to get lost within the stars. “I’m real glad that I am.”
Starlight snapped out of her little memory lane and faced toward the mayor once more. “Have you made sure to read the apology letter that Trixie sent?”
“Well, I don’t understand why she sent it in the first place. I hoped with our first meeting that she would stop looking at the troubles of her past.”
“I told her the same thing, but she insisted. I guess she just really doesn’t want bad ties between us.”
“Well, as long as she’s pleased with herself, I’m happy. But if she messes up this time around, even I won’t be capable of stopping the citizens. Some of them went out of their way with stocking up on tomatoes this time, just to be safe.”
“There won’t be any need for them this time,” Sunset said. “Hopefully.”
“Anyways, I should be leaving now. Be sure to enjoy yourself, Miss...”
“Oh, how could that of slipped my mind. I haven’t given you my name yet, have I? In fact, I don’t even know your name!”
“The name’s Starlight Glimmer. Yours?”
“Scuffleberry. Miss Scuffleberry.”
“Have a nice rest of the night, Miss Scuffleberry!”
“You too, Starlight Glimmer!”
Starlight left at the last goodbye. She continued forward to meet her next task.
“Sparkleberry?” Starlight spoke from behind the group she approached.
Sparkleberry, alongside two other heads, turned back. “You must be Starlight,” the grandmother began. “The backstage assistant helping that troublemaker showpony. Our granddaughter told us all about you.”
“Oh! Well, it’s nice to meet you. You’re perfectly fine with Sparkleberry helping us, correct?”
“It’s not like I can say no now. But don’t be putting her through things that I won’t approve of.”
“Excuse me?” Starlight raised an eyebrow.
“Last time, your little show made me blind. And deaf too! Don’t do it again, you hear me? And most definitely, I-I-I won’t like it if you did it to my grandchild. You won’t hear the end of it from me if you do.”
“She’s right, you won’t,” the grandfather spoke up.
“Granny, you don’t have to worry. I know you’ll love it,” Sparkleberry spoke up from behind.
“Something tells me she’s right,” Starlight supported her.
“Oh, dearie, you’ve told me that plenty of times before. But knowing their track record, aren’t you the slightest worried?”
“I have full faith in Miss Trixie and Miss Starlight!” Sparkleberry spoke up courageously.
“You know how this’ll end, Aura. Once that child becomes confident, there’s no turning her back.” The grandfather spoke up.
“I know, I know. I’m just nervous, is all. Once this show starts, I’ll be calm once again.” Aura Bright sat down next to the grandfather. She smiled at Sparkleberry.
“Now that you’ve put your faith in them, dearie, make sure it’s done right. Mmaky?”
Sparkleberry nodded her entire head.
“Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, are you ready, Sparkleberry?”
“You bet!”
Starlight faced the two parents. “I guess I’ll be seeing you later. Your names?”
“Mrs. Aura Bright.”
“Mr. Feint Twinkle.”
“Mr. Feint and Mrs. Aura, I’ll be off then.” Starlight waved goodbye with Sparkleberry at her side. They both faced the stage and walked together. Starlight voiced in to begin a conversation.
“You nervous?”
“No,” Sparkleberry replied. “Are you?”
Starlight sighed. “A little,” she admitted.
“Really?” Sparkleberry’s mouth opened wide in surprise.
“Yeah. I guess I haven’t gotten used to the whole fame and glory thing just yet, even if I’m working the stuff back stage.”
“How long have you been doing this for?” Sparkleberry asked, still astonished.
“Around a year or so, now. With my studies back in Ponyville done, I’m happy to know that I don’t really have to do anything all that important now.”
“Studies?” Sparkleberry inqueried. “You were a student?”
“Yeah, I was a student for what seemed like the longest chapter in my life. I’m glad that I’m done and all, but sometimes I really wish I could go back to being just that.”
“Was it hard?” Sparkleberry faced Starlight as the two continued forward.
“You’re the one who should know the answer to that. You’re the lead role in the play, after all.”
“...Yeah,” Sparkleberry hesitated.
“A little anxious now?”
“Yeah, but just like granny, I’ll get over it once the show starts.”
Starlight smiled. “You’ll do great.”
Sparkleberry beamed back to Starlight.
As the two entered backstage, they spotted Trixie shuffling between boxes and costumes within the meager space that she was allowed. Three other school children talked amongst one another as they waited for the show to begin.
“Trixie, is everything ready?” inqueried Starlight.
Trixie turned toward Starlight and Sparkleberry. “Trixie ensure that everything is ready and will begin once her final actor receives her costume.”
A bright aura levitated off of Trixie’s star cape and hat. The hat engulfed Sparkleberry’s head, and the cape dragged on the floor. With a burst of light, however, Trixie shrunk the hat and cape. She fitted the costume perfectly on her final actor.
“You ready?” Trixie asked.
“As I’ll ever be!”
As Sparkleberry confirmed, Trixie went to the other three and got them in places off stage. Starlight and Sparkleberry soon followed while Trixie took centerstage. Upon her indication, the curtains rolled back.
Lights centered onto the wooden stage with a flick. With a mic check and a one two three, Trixie had begun her cue.
“Citizens of Hoovesendale, it has come to Trixie’s attention that you were not pleased with the first dangerous and woeful piece of entertainment Trixie so humbly provided. Be that it may that Trixie has a different show of showponyship than everyone else, but do not fret, for the Great and Powerful Trixie will still provide a gallant show!”
As Trixie continued her ominous speech, the stage began to fill with smoke.
“Behold a story of unfathomable peril and breathtaking stunts! To save Equestria is only just another feat for The Great and Powerful T-rrr-ixie!”
Now engulfed in what was now a stage full of smoke, a moment passed for it to dissipate. Three fillies and a colt, both with their respective costumes, stood centerstage in front of the crowd.
Sparkleberry was the first to speak. “Behold, for it is I! The Young and Powerful Trixie! Along Trixie’s dangerous quests, Trixie had acquired a set of allies capable to overcome the daunting trials of saving Equestria from the well known evil, Queen Chrysalis!”
With a flash of magic, the background of the stage changed to a dynamic setting full of crystals and rock formations.
“It was inside the caves of her lair that Trixie and her friends had found themselves in! Say, Thorax, you should know inside and out of these caves! Find the Great and Powerful Trixie the direction toward the Queen!”
A filly, taller than Sparkleberry, motioned her way toward the edge of the stage. With the illumination of her horn, a portal appeared. “It’s this way!”
The four jumped through the portal. As they disappeared, the background changed once more to a different set of caves. As they jumped back on stage, the scene filled with smoke once more.
“What is that?” Sparkleberry moved her hooves through the smoke. She raised an eyebrow as she further questioned what a faint fog was.
“I don’t know,” the filly as Thorax said as he observed the setting. “It feels ominous.”
From behind them, two makeshift monsters appeared. “Whoo- goess- theerre-” their ghastly form sounded.
“It be monsters, and a whole swarm of them! A hundred or so!” The colt took the center stage and faced the two figures. “Be as it may that I have no power, I will take on these monsters! The rest of you, go! We will not be able to go any further if I do not distract them here!”
“Do you think you will be capable of such a task?” Sparkleberry said. Worry dripped in her voice as she acted it out.
“Do not worry, for I have this! Leave! Now!”
“This way!” The Thorax pony said as her horn illuminated once more to reveal a portal.
The three jumped through, but Sparkleberry paused once reaching the next side. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will remember his effort. He will not go in vain. We must win for Equestria!”
The three continued down the path. However, at the end of it, they had been met with a surprise.
The unspoken filly finally came front. “You came back! And so soon! How?”
“It was with the light of friendship that brought me back. Now, let us go! We must defeat the queen!”
The colt lead the group, but could not hear the whispers from the the other three.
“Hold it right there,” the same filly said. “How do we know if you’re real?”
“What a silly question, of course I am real!”
“Well, then do you remember the plan to take down the evil Queen Chrysalis?”
The colt sidestepped with an “Um...”
“We’ve been found out! Get them!” he shouted.
With that, figures surrounded the group.
“Fear not, fellow members! I will grab the attention of this ambush and you two shall go to the chamber of the evil Queen!”
“Good luck to you, my dear friend! The Great and Powerful Trixie will always remember you!”
“And to you too.”
With that, the only two jumped through another portal.
“Oh, such brave party members we have, Trixie. How could they so bravely give away their lives like that!”
“Do not fear, Thorax. For they are brave ponies indeed. We will honor them and respect their name forever more.” Sparkleberry moved onward. “Now let us go to the chamber. The Queen awaits.”
“About that...” Thorax reconsidered.
“Do you have an issue?”
“I know that we’ve been through a lot, and that we’ve done so much together to get here, but I know what the Queen wants. She wants me, not you, and I really shouldn’t have brought you on this quest in the first place. This is my trouble, after all.”
“Thorax, do not put all the blame on yourself. The Great and Powerful Trixie knows the hardships of losing what is important to her. The Queen has caused Trixie strife as well, as well as her allies. Trixie have quarrel with her as well as you do.”
Thorax sat there silent, unmoved by Sparkleberry’s words. “Do not do what Trixie thinks you are about to do. Rethink this.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do this.” Thorax’s horn illuminated, while the resounding scream of Sparkleberry came through the portal that sucked her up.
Thorax, without anyone beside them, entered the Queen’s chamber alone.
“Ah, so you did come after all,” a sound came from behind Thorax. They turned, only to be greeted by an abhorrent monster that walked on four hooves.
“Let go of your grasp on Equestria, Queen, for I will give myself to you.” Thorax refused to face the Queen. They faced forward, emotionless, as the Queen squared Thorax up.
“You want me, to give up?” The queen laughed at Thorax’s desperation. She began climbing the walls of her lair as she circled Thorax.
“How about I take everything that’s left in you and keep Equestria. That sounds like a fair deal to me.” Her head twisted as her body climbed while her head still focused on Thorax.
“Leave me out of this, this is my last say.”
“Or what?”
As if on cue, the wall of the Queen’s lair exploded. Behind stood the three partners from before.
“Trixie! I told you not to come!” Surprised, enthusiasm returned to Thorax as he ran to the trio.
“Your troubles are our troubles, my dear friend. No matter what, you can’t leave us out of it.”
Trixie sidestepped Thorax and faced the Queen.
“Now, Queen, I come not to represent just the Great and Powerful Trixie, but the four of us, as well as all of Equestria!”
“Oh my, how threatening. What are you going to do, challenge me?”
Sparkleberry smirked. “That’s exactly what Trixie was thinking.”
“You’re kidding, right? You believe you have as much power as me?”
“Power doesn’t come from individuals, Queen. Power comes from trust, from love, from friendship!”
“What a bunch of hooey.” The queen rolled what could’ve been her eyes.
“It is true! And Trixie will show you just how much you are lacking!” Sparkleberry took her stance toward the monster.
“Fine, be it your own death!” Without warning, the monster fired a beam of magic toward Sparkleberry. Without a moment’s hesitation, however, Sparkleberry fired back with a continuous beam of her own.
The queen began to laugh. “What formidable power of friendship you have! I can barely even feel your strength!”
The beam slid toward the side of Sparkleberry. After seeing this, Sparkleberry didn’t falter, instead she looked back to her friends.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie requires your power! Please, give it to me!”
“You got it!” the trio said together. Their horns illuminated, and with a couple sparks, they manifested themselves onto Sparkleberry. The beam’s distance toward them grew and grew, until it had finally been pushed back onto the Queen.
“No, this can’t be happening! How is this possible?”
The four confidently stood. “By the power of friendship!”
And with that, the scene goes to white. After the light turns transparent, Trixie and her crew stood on the centerpiece of the stage.
“For the courage of saving Equestria, you three have been recognized as the Great and Powerful Trixie’s greatest best friends. You all will be heard far and wide with fame and glory to your names.” Sparkleberry bowed to each of the three students.
“I must also say sorry to my good friend Thorax. For the bond between us was lacking within the moments before the final confrontation. It is from this that Trixie has learned to correct the mistakes that Trixie makes. She has realized that for us to be true friends with real trust, we must start anew.”
The filly playing thorax bowed to Trixie once more.
“And to you,” Sparkleberry faced the crowd, “those who hear the story, keep it close to your heart. For when life may seem rough and events may seem dim, just know that there is in fact a way to approach it. Know that there is always going to be a supportive way to deal with your troubles. Do not delude yourself in thinking that your friends aren’t there for a reason. For they are the ones you love, the ones you care for, the ones you wish to see better in life. Take away from this that even you can become a true friend to the Great, and Powerful, Trixie!”
A mass of flares engulfed the sky above the stage, however the sound of the flares were deafened out by the applause that erupted from the audience. The actors on staged bowed for their performance and continued for the time being.
At the back stage, Starlight scoffed. A flare wasn’t a firework, after all.
“You just couldn’t resist having some kind of bright light, could you?”
“You should know Trixie,” Trixie smiled at the stage.
“You are Trixie’s greatest best friend, after all.”
Fireworks erupted from behind the scenes. They exploded into a magnificent beauty from atop the center of the stage. Sparks and magical essence shot out from the sides. The joyous sounds of explosions and fire engulfed the area, it caught the attention of those far and wide.
The entire stage had been a center of awe and spectacle, it was as if a Goddess had touched the performance with an inspiration of absolute beauty. It was at the perfect moment for the performer. They stepped out from behind the back stage curtain. Dressed in her usual starry cape and hat, she bowed.
Her bows may have went on for a bit longer than what she had been pleased with. She ignored it and continued.
“Citizens of Hoovesendale, I have come from lands that, here, have only been talked about in rumors. I have seen things that I wish to share with you from places unimaginable! Be prepared to be amazed by the awe inspiring, the gravity defying, the Great and Powerful T-rrr-ixie!”
With her finale to her introduction insured, the stage had been engulfed in a brilliant light of absolute white. The sounds of magnificent booms were the only thing conceived.
By it’s end, the centerpiece of attention had died down to the soft sounds of Trixie walking along the stage. She magically pulled up a black wooden box onto the stage. It’s front had faced the audience.
“For my first trick,” she began, “I would like you to take an interest in this here coffin. Inside here isn’t what you’d normally believe it to be. The weak of heart, look away now, for the contents will without a doubt scare you to death! Inside here lies your very worst nightmare!”
Trixie faced the coffin. With a spell and a sparkle, the lock unchained itself. The door creaked as it cracked open. An unnerving yelp escaped from the crowd as the figure of a snake head emerged from the side. As the door opened more, the body of a lion and the tail of a snake came through, somehow sewn and attached together. From within the audience, a faint was heard.
The beast yelled it’s loud roar across the stage. His teeth salivated as it looked across past the stage into the crowd of ponies. A fireball formed at the edges of his teeth. It grew as the monster reared it’s head back until he threw it toward the crowd.
A widened eye watcher stood still as the fireball hurtled toward them, but a blue shield had emitted itself to protect the woeful citizen.
“Feast your eyes on the mighty dragon, a terrorizing, fire-breathing monster that eats little fillies for breakfast! But do not worry, dear citizens, for I, the Great and Powerful Trixie will put an end to the wrath that he has stirred you with Trixie’s mighty prowess!” The Great and Powerful Trixie boasted.
A beam of light zapped out of Trixie’s horn, it sparked the beast. It’s attention had turned toward the unicorn.
“Hit me with your best shot, horrible dragon!” Trixie’s horn illuminated as the beast opened its mouth once more to charge another fireball. With it, he flung his flame toward the blue unicorn, who, upon contact of the fireball, repelled it. The fireball spun past her, it exploded far into the distance within the background.
“Now begone!” Trixie yelled once more. A ball of telekinesis picked up the dragon and flung him back into the coffin, locked shut.
Trixie didn’t wait for the applause. “Now, who would appreciate my seco-”
“Get off the stage!”
A tomato flew toward the magician. It hit her square in the face. She yelped and recoiled back after an onslaught of more vegetables pleted her.
“What is wrong with you!” She began. “Have you no respect for the Great and Powerful Trixie?!”
To no avail, she exited the stage.
“That was about the worst performance I’ve seen in my life.”
Feint Twinkle’s pancakes had become engulfed in syrup as he impatiently hovered the bottle with shaking teeth. He faced Sparkleberry with a collection of wrinkles.
“Do you really mean it, Grandpa?” Sparkleberry’s whimper cried from the back of her throat.
“You’re right he means it!” Aura Bright piped in. “My eardrums popped from how loud those noises were! And I was practically blind the entire show!”
“That’s right,” the husband said. “She darn near gave your aunt a heart attack too! Her yelp was heard all across the entire town, and she even fainted too!”
“And after that,” Aura Bright continued, “and when I was finally getting back to my senses, that darn beast blew my eardrums yet again!”
Feint Twinkle’s fork clacked against the plate. “And don’t even get me started on how much fire damage she caused the city! Just thinking about it gets me even more angry than I am right now! Burned a pony’s flank and set a building on fire, too! She’s insane!”
“I don’t know what you youngsters are getting into these days, but whatever it is, I-I-I don’t like it. You’d best stay away from her type, dearie.” Aura Bright flipped her pancake while it cooked on the pan. When it was done, she put it on a plate to serve Sparkleberry.
Aura Bright gave the filly a stern look before she spoke up. “Don’t sit there and pout, now. Eat your pancakes and go off to school before you’re late.”
“Yes, granny.”
As the conversation halted and time passed, Sparkleberry already found herself walking out the front door.
“Have a nice day at school, sweetie!” Aura Bright yelled from across the house. Sparkleberry jumped at how loud she made herself. Maybe she did become partially deaf after all.
With a farewell, Sparkleberry found herself back into the cycle of things. She walked toward the schoolyard at the end of the town. At her destination, she entered the building and took her seat.
After the ring of a bell and a roll call, the teacher began today’s lesson.
“Now, everyone’s attention please! No more talking!” She hushed the class.
“Today we have a guest speaker coming in. She’s representing Equestria’s “Build A Wish” Foundation, Miss Lulamoon!”
The entire class groaned, except for Sparkleberry.
“Now, now, she may have caused an accident the previous day, but do please give her respect. Miss Lulamoon?” She called out to the front door. “You may make your appearance now!”
The class was followed by silence for a while. The students and teacher stared at the door until it burst open with a thrust of magic. What the kids were forced to witness then was Trixie, who entered the room being dragged. By the tail into the classroom, a unicorn unknown to the class set Trixie in the middle of attention as the mare in question covered her face with her hooves.
“Miss Lulamoon?” The teacher spoke up.
“Sorry, she’s been like this all day.” The unicorn spit Trixie’s tail out of her mouth.
“And you might be?”
“Starlight Glimmer. Trixie’s backstage assistant.”
A hoof raised from one of the students. “Does she have stage fright?”
“Trixie does not!” Trixie’s muffled yell escaped through her arms.
“Then why are you hiding?” the student asked.
Trixie got up and straightened herself out. Despite this, however, a radiance of pride still managed to glow around her stature. She was about to speak up, but she was interrupted by Starlight.
“She was practicing the proper way to apologize to everyone in this room. Isn’t that right, Trixie?”
“Apologize?! To a bunch of unappreciative children who don’t appreciate entertainment?” She humphed, eyes closed and faced away. Starlight rolled her eyes.
A hoof slowly raised up from Sparkleberry. “Actually, I liked it.”
A single eye shot open at these words from Trixie to glance over her shoulder at the individual. Trixie looked to Starlight, who only gave her a supportive smile.
“Then the Great and Powerful Trixie can give you an apology,” Trixie continued. “But only to you.”
Starlight voiced in. “By a show of hooves, who here didn’t like Trixie’s performance?”
The entire class shot up, all except for Sparkleberry.
“My dad said that the damage you did would take months to repair,” one student yelled.
“They also say that Miss Light is going to be in the hospital for the rest of the week,” another voiced.
“Yes, yes, and Trixie is fully aware that she is going to be working for the rest of the time she’s here in order to fix her mistakes.” Starlight Glimmer glanced over to Trixie, who looked too busy pouting to seem as if she payed attention.
“Though she can be stubborn, she is a really nice pony at heart. Trust me, I know Trixie as a best friend to realize her peaks and pitfalls. While this may seem as her biggest blunder, and yes it’s not,” Starlight chuckled, “I know that even she’s the type of pony that can’t run away from mistakes this huge.”
The room was left silent as Sunset gave another endearing smile toward her best friend. Trixie caught on and responded.
“Can it with your praises, Starlight. Even the Great and Powerful Trixie isn’t perfect.” Trixie relaxed her posture and opened toward the class more. “And from the collective input given by the class today, combined with Sunset’s, The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to give a full apology this time. And to everyone.”
“So, Trixie is sorry,” Trixie said. A moment passed. It was all that she had said.
“Sorry for...” Starlight dragged on.
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie is sorry causing your town so many troubles. And she would like to make up for it.”
Absolutely unexpected, a single round of applause erupted from the audience. Sparkleberry continued to clap at Trixie’s achievement, only for her classmates to join in with the passage of the moment. The entire class applauded Trixie, the teacher and Starlight included. Surprised, Trixie’s face shifted to one of confusion and then to embarrassment as she made out the situation. Through it, however, she stared at the ceiling.
“Now, that wasn’t that hard, was it, Trixie?” Starlight Glimmer spoke once the applause died down.
“Just get on with it, Starlight.” Trixie half-heartedly rolled her eyes away, mostly in an attempt to keep off eye contact.
“You sure? That was a pretty important lesson, after all.”
“Trixie is sure.”
“Alright, children,” the teacher broke from her silence. “If anyone has any questions for these two, please raise your hand and ask one at a time.”
Starberry was given the first opportunity. “What’s it like being a travel pony?”
Trixie scoffed. “Why, it’s the best thing imaginable! Not only do I get to show everypony my amazing talents, I also become famous for doing so!”
“Does it pay well?” a student from the back asked.
“While it can most definitely be better, Trixie does not pay attention to such little objects such as pay. She gets by with what she can, whether it be through her skill or her knowledge.”
“Have you had any amazing encounters?”
“Encounters? By The Great and Powerful Trixie? Please, just about every day Trixie is defeating foes that oppose Equestria!”
“Will you tell us one?”
“Yeah, can you tell us a story?” The class erupted with a frenzy as the children demanded Trixie.
“Why, of course Trixie can!” she said. The children responded with enthusiasm then gave her the spotlight.
“It was when Trixie was traveling that she came about a town. A small village, the residents who were unknown of Trixie’s amazing prowess. She set up her show without hesitation and gave them a presentation that would absolutely blow their minds!”
Trixie began motioning her words with her hooves. She continued. “They doubted my word when Trixie said that she was the best magician in all of Equestria. ‘Who here would wish to stand up to the amazing capabilities possessed by the Great and Powerful Trixie?’ Trixie observed the crowd. Absolutely no one had the courage to show their face in front of the amazing Trixie.”
“Be it as they wish. I selected a unicorn, one who I sensed was adept with her magic. She came onto stage and accepted the spar. Trixie decided it was best to at least give her a standing chance. When the battle begun, sparks flew across the stage from Trixie and her opponent!” Trixie pulled out a few balls out of her back pocket. They collided with the ground as sparks flew out from their containers, the rest dissipating into a beautiful magical dust.
The children collectively leaned in toward the presentation. The class was astonished by their sight as it left them absolutely speechless.
“With the dust and sparks settled, Trixie emerged out unscathed by the entire ordeal! Her opponent, however, ran off stage crying! Trixie had turned her mane into a repugnant disaster!”
“You mean like what you did during your show?” one student scoffed. The class laughed, but kept their attention to the speaker.
Trixie became flustered in red, but she couldn’t find it within herself to be angry this time. “Fine. Trixie has already apologized, so she will realize the error of her ways and learn from her mistake. Continuing!”
“It was only me left on the stage. Nopony dared to challenge me within the crowd. That is, all for except one. In light of what I had done to her friend, she took upon herself the challenge to gain vengeance against the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
“The match began, but this time it was different. Trixie knew the raw amounts of power that her foe possessed. If Trixie was going to win this, she would require to go all out!”
“But the odds still weren’t in Trixie’s favor. At the beginning of the match, without hesitation, Trixie’s opponent had summoned an Usra Major!”
“What’s an Usra Major?” one of the students asked, to which Trixie pulled out a couple of more trinkets from her back pocket. “It looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie will have to show you.” A puff of smoke came, and inside the class the image of a great purple bear faced the students menacingly. Even Trixie felt the nervous shakes from the children’s seats.
“To you, this may seem like an unformidable foe. However, Trixie knew her own capabilities!” With a swirl of the smoke scattered across the room, Trixie condensed it into a smaller, less frightening version of the bear.
“Trixie with all of her magic and all of her strength, carried the gigantic beast. In it’s scared stiff state, Trixie calmed the beast and put it to sleep with her amazing capabilities! She then rested it back into the Everfree Forest. And for the mare? She saw her demise with the loss of her final trick and was too scared to face me after that. She ran herself out of town, her tail in between her hooves!”
The class gave her a round of an applause. Trixie’s nose bowed to the ground as she showed her appreciation. The teacher came from the side of the room.
“Great job girls!” she applauded. “However, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. Everyone, please give Trixie another round of applause for giving the time she could to speak with us today!”
The next set wasn’t as much, but Trixie still smiled anyways.
“To be honest, I didn’t think it was going to go that well.” Starlight looked to Trixie as they both walked down the path of the arctic tundra. The waves of the sea clashed against the rock below as they continued forward.
“What, you didn’t have faith in the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie teased.
“No, I knew you were going to snap out of it eventually. But to win over the students too? I’d probably consider that a bonus.”
“Just give the residents of this town enough time, Starlight. They will come to understand the true spectacle that is truly the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“It sounds like you’re fired up, then,” Starlight gave a determined smile to Trixie, to which she retrieved one back.
“Point Trixie to a resident of this town and she’ll win them over! There’s no need to cower in front of these individuals anymore! Trixie is a new pony now! She’ll win over this entire town if she has to!”
“Hey, You!” an elderly spectator yelled from behind. The duo turned to see a wrinkled stallion who walked along the same path as them.
Trixie cracked her neck and smiled as she went to work.
“The mayor of the town wants to have a word with you. He’s thinking of giving you a second chance.”
“See, Starlight?” Trixie peered back to her partner. “It was only a matter of time.”
The stallion’s brow glowered at the apparent show of courage from the mare. “Don’t think you can get off with a happy mood. We still haven’t overlooked what happened last night.”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry. Trixie has this under control.” She turned away. She disregarded the the other two and continued down the street without another word. Her stride in each step was enough to show how much confidence she had built up.
“Is she always this stuck up?” the stallion asked Starlight.
“In her mind, I believe she just went through a major victory. She’ll snap out of it soon enough.”
The stallion groaned as he gave acknowledgement.
“You know where we can find the mayor?” Sunset asked.
“In the town hall.” He pointed back toward the city, the same direction Trixie took off. “You’ll know the building by the sign out front.
Sunset gave her thanks to the stallion and took off. She caught up to the mare and took by her side.
“Have you calmed down yet, Trixie?” The two faced the town hall, both with a different set of expressions. Trixie paced herself inside a circle, she kept her eye off of the building and Starlight.
“Trixie does not understand why Starlight is asking her such questions. Trixie has not felt odd nor has she felt any different in the past few minutes.”
“What about you saying that you felt capable of changing this entire town’s opinion?”
A muffle was heard under Trixie’s breath as her face browed in remembrance of what she had done. “That was a different time for Trixie. Now is a time for reconnaissance and strategic planning. We do not want to underestimate our opponents, Starlight.”
“Oh come on, it’ll be just like the time when I was nervous to go back into my home town.”
“Are you assuming that Trixie is nervous? Not at all!” Trixie stopped her pacing. She looked past Starlight as her brows lowered at the accusation.
“I’m glad then. Stick by my side and follow my lead,” Starlight comforted Trixie with her approach on her. Trixie’s eyes rolled in half-hearted objection as the two entered the building side by side.
Inside, the two came to a surprise to realize how many ponies were seated about the hall. From the far wall, a bingo square was called. Starlight moved forward toward a group of elderly ponies where Trixie somewhat lacked behind.
“Excuse me,” Starlight began. The mare who appeared to be a grandmother looked at the two and gasped at the sight of Trixie.
“You’re the mare who nearly broke my son’s back! I hope you’ve come to apologize to all of us for last night.”
Trixie stayed silent. Starlight spoke up instead. “That’s exactly why we’re here. The mayor gave us a second chance, see, and we’re wondering where they currently are.”
The grandmother hummed. “Yeah, she said something about giving you a second chance. She should be seated right next to the announcer. You’ll know her once you see her glasses.”
“Thank you,” Starlight said as walked away from the table. At the side of the collective bingo players, she looked back at the almost defiant Trixie.
“Holding up back there?” Starlight turned with compassion in her voice.
“Trixie is holding up just fine.” She scoffed, but it then turned into a smile as she contagiously contracted it from Starlight. “Thank you for checking,” she said, finally.
“No problem.”
Starlight approached the table with a mare of ridiculously sized glasses. Starlight coughed, she alearted the attention of the aged mare.
“Hello, we’re here because you called us?” Starlight’s beam faced the mare, until motion came about from the mare to the side of her.
“Sorry, you two. This here is my mother, I’m the mayor.” A middle-aged mare held herself in front of her mother’s position. Sunset realized that she, too, had goofy glasses by the looks of the swirls upon them. “Should’ve made it more clear for you to find me than what you’ve probably went through.”
Without a chance for Starlight to continue, Trixie interrupted with an apology.
“No, it should be us who’s apologizing.” Trixie’s head lowered as she spoke up from beside Starlight. Starlight looked back to this and lowered her head alongside her friend’s.
“Well, you shouldn’t be apologizing to me. The one’s you made it trouble for are... well, the citizens, after all. But after knowing what you’ve been through for the past couple of day, I’m thinking that you’ve learned your lesson already.”
“So, it’s true that you’re giving us a second chance?” Starlight raised her head.
“Yep. I’m confident that the residents will have no problem with you trying again. That is, well, if you read this list of complaints they made.”
Trixie levitated the list. Her emotion was easily read by both Starlight and the mayor.
“No fireworks?” Trixie half-screamed.
“Hey, don’t put it up with me. More than half this town are elderly and even I had doubts that your show last night was going to work well after seeing the opening.”
Trixie growled, but continued. “Trixie can make due with what has been provided with on this list. How long does Trixie have until the next show?”
“Tomorrow would be fine, or even the day after. Well, you can have as long as you like, really.”
“It is settled then. But do know that Trixie will still not hold back. By the end of this, you will be amazed!”
“Yeah, yeah. Make sure the show is great,” the mayor smiled.
“Come Starlight! We have work to do!”
Sparkleberry’s curiosity had finally reached it’s peak. She peered at the corner of the building, her eyes were set on the travel home that was decorated in blue and stars. The occupants of such travel home talked to one another, unknown of Sparkleberry’s presence. She peered further with a sparkle in her eye, only to pull herself back.
“Okay, this is fine.” Sparkleberry took a deep breath. “I’m going to go up to her and tell her that she can do this!”
Sparkleberry looked around the corner again, but whined at her lack of a spine.
“I know she must be having so much hatred toward her too, and I really don’t want to add on top of the list. What if she thinks I’m pitying her?”
She wanted to bang her head against the wall, but advised herself not to midway. She wanted to smack her cheeks and tell herself to just do it already, but she wussed out before she made contact. Eventually Sparkleberry’s anticipation built up. She span in a circle with her eyes closed. Upon the dizziness and confusion, she opened them back up to see a purple unicorn staring at her from above.
“You alright?” Starlight’s eyebrow was at it’s peak with curiosity. Sparkleberry simply nodded.
“Um... well...” Sparkleberry got to all fours and faced Starlight. “Could you take me to Miss Trixie please?”
“Gladly,” was the first thing Starlight said as she took the lead. “Did you need to speak to her about something?”
“Kind of...” Sparkleberry murmured.
Starlight knocked on the wooden wall of the travel home. It’s occupant was heard from within.
“Back so soon, Starlight? Have you come up with an idea?”
“Nope, but there is someone here wanting to meet you.”
Trixie glanced out the window to the two ponies outside. “Oh, I remember you,” Trixie began. “You’re the wide eyed one from the classroom. So, you need something from the Great and Powerful Trixie?”
“Well...” Sparkleberry began. “Actually, it’s a bit different from what I wanted, but I heard that you didn’t have an idea?”
“Mhmm. Trixie and Starlight are coming up with ideas as to what to show. Do you have anything that comes to mind that will inspire Trixie?”
“Back in the classroom, you told us the story about one of your great adventures.”
“Yes, Trixie is quite the storyteller,” Trixie praised herself.
“I was thinking that you could tell the town a story, just like you did to us. My grandparents are always hearing about stories like that from my mom and dad, and I’m sure that if you told them that story, they would absolutely love it!”
Trixie put a hoof to her chin and hummed. “That does sound like a convincing idea to Trixie. Starlight? Your opinion?”
“I’m all for it. It sounds interesting.”
“Yes, it does sound interesting,” Trixie confirmed, “but Trixie does not tell a story twice. How about this, child. Instead of a story you’ve already heard, Trixie will tell a better story. One that will top even the previously told!”
“Really? A story better than that?”
“You have Trixie’s word. Trixie knows the story to tell, and she knows exactly how she can do it. We’ll need more assistants than just one, though.”
“Trixie,” Starlight spoke up.
Trixie continued to nod to herself in her thought. “Yes, Starlight?”
“I was thinking that since we’re talking about a bunch of elderly, wouldn’t it make sense to use characters they know and love?”
“And replace the Great and Powerful Trixie? Are you insane?”
“No, I mean as in we take actors for the show.”
“That would make it easier for Trixie,” Trixie confirmed. “How about this. What’s your name?” Trixie glanced toward Sparkleberry.
“Does that mean that I can be in it too?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Trixie is willing to allow this, for only this one time.”
Sparkleberry squealed as she hopped on her hooves in joy.
“But first, Trixie requires a name.”
“Sparkleberry! The name’s Sparkleberry!”
“Alright Sparkleberry, you have about one hour to meet Trixie back here with three other classmates. Do not be late for Trixie.”
“Oh boy, oh boy! I’ll be right back, then!”
The night had still been young as Starlight walked among the crowd that had amassed. Everypony had waited in front of Trixie’s stage and she was included for the time being as she approached the town mayor.
“Everything’s looking good. Is the show going to commence soon?” she asked Sunset.
“Not just yet. I’m doing a couple of last moment efforts and getting everyone together. Not surprising, but Trixie’s pulled herself into a corner and is just begging me to help her out.”
“Well, I’m glad that the girl has someone to trust on. Who knows how she would’ve made it through all of this without you by her side.”
“Yeah,” Starlight reminisced as her eyes began to get lost within the stars. “I’m real glad that I am.”
Starlight snapped out of her little memory lane and faced toward the mayor once more. “Have you made sure to read the apology letter that Trixie sent?”
“Well, I don’t understand why she sent it in the first place. I hoped with our first meeting that she would stop looking at the troubles of her past.”
“I told her the same thing, but she insisted. I guess she just really doesn’t want bad ties between us.”
“Well, as long as she’s pleased with herself, I’m happy. But if she messes up this time around, even I won’t be capable of stopping the citizens. Some of them went out of their way with stocking up on tomatoes this time, just to be safe.”
“There won’t be any need for them this time,” Sunset said. “Hopefully.”
“Anyways, I should be leaving now. Be sure to enjoy yourself, Miss...”
“Oh, how could that of slipped my mind. I haven’t given you my name yet, have I? In fact, I don’t even know your name!”
“The name’s Starlight Glimmer. Yours?”
“Scuffleberry. Miss Scuffleberry.”
“Have a nice rest of the night, Miss Scuffleberry!”
“You too, Starlight Glimmer!”
Starlight left at the last goodbye. She continued forward to meet her next task.
“Sparkleberry?” Starlight spoke from behind the group she approached.
Sparkleberry, alongside two other heads, turned back. “You must be Starlight,” the grandmother began. “The backstage assistant helping that troublemaker showpony. Our granddaughter told us all about you.”
“Oh! Well, it’s nice to meet you. You’re perfectly fine with Sparkleberry helping us, correct?”
“It’s not like I can say no now. But don’t be putting her through things that I won’t approve of.”
“Excuse me?” Starlight raised an eyebrow.
“Last time, your little show made me blind. And deaf too! Don’t do it again, you hear me? And most definitely, I-I-I won’t like it if you did it to my grandchild. You won’t hear the end of it from me if you do.”
“She’s right, you won’t,” the grandfather spoke up.
“Granny, you don’t have to worry. I know you’ll love it,” Sparkleberry spoke up from behind.
“Something tells me she’s right,” Starlight supported her.
“Oh, dearie, you’ve told me that plenty of times before. But knowing their track record, aren’t you the slightest worried?”
“I have full faith in Miss Trixie and Miss Starlight!” Sparkleberry spoke up courageously.
“You know how this’ll end, Aura. Once that child becomes confident, there’s no turning her back.” The grandfather spoke up.
“I know, I know. I’m just nervous, is all. Once this show starts, I’ll be calm once again.” Aura Bright sat down next to the grandfather. She smiled at Sparkleberry.
“Now that you’ve put your faith in them, dearie, make sure it’s done right. Mmaky?”
Sparkleberry nodded her entire head.
“Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, are you ready, Sparkleberry?”
“You bet!”
Starlight faced the two parents. “I guess I’ll be seeing you later. Your names?”
“Mrs. Aura Bright.”
“Mr. Feint Twinkle.”
“Mr. Feint and Mrs. Aura, I’ll be off then.” Starlight waved goodbye with Sparkleberry at her side. They both faced the stage and walked together. Starlight voiced in to begin a conversation.
“You nervous?”
“No,” Sparkleberry replied. “Are you?”
Starlight sighed. “A little,” she admitted.
“Really?” Sparkleberry’s mouth opened wide in surprise.
“Yeah. I guess I haven’t gotten used to the whole fame and glory thing just yet, even if I’m working the stuff back stage.”
“How long have you been doing this for?” Sparkleberry asked, still astonished.
“Around a year or so, now. With my studies back in Ponyville done, I’m happy to know that I don’t really have to do anything all that important now.”
“Studies?” Sparkleberry inqueried. “You were a student?”
“Yeah, I was a student for what seemed like the longest chapter in my life. I’m glad that I’m done and all, but sometimes I really wish I could go back to being just that.”
“Was it hard?” Sparkleberry faced Starlight as the two continued forward.
“You’re the one who should know the answer to that. You’re the lead role in the play, after all.”
“...Yeah,” Sparkleberry hesitated.
“A little anxious now?”
“Yeah, but just like granny, I’ll get over it once the show starts.”
Starlight smiled. “You’ll do great.”
Sparkleberry beamed back to Starlight.
As the two entered backstage, they spotted Trixie shuffling between boxes and costumes within the meager space that she was allowed. Three other school children talked amongst one another as they waited for the show to begin.
“Trixie, is everything ready?” inqueried Starlight.
Trixie turned toward Starlight and Sparkleberry. “Trixie ensure that everything is ready and will begin once her final actor receives her costume.”
A bright aura levitated off of Trixie’s star cape and hat. The hat engulfed Sparkleberry’s head, and the cape dragged on the floor. With a burst of light, however, Trixie shrunk the hat and cape. She fitted the costume perfectly on her final actor.
“You ready?” Trixie asked.
“As I’ll ever be!”
As Sparkleberry confirmed, Trixie went to the other three and got them in places off stage. Starlight and Sparkleberry soon followed while Trixie took centerstage. Upon her indication, the curtains rolled back.
Lights centered onto the wooden stage with a flick. With a mic check and a one two three, Trixie had begun her cue.
“Citizens of Hoovesendale, it has come to Trixie’s attention that you were not pleased with the first dangerous and woeful piece of entertainment Trixie so humbly provided. Be that it may that Trixie has a different show of showponyship than everyone else, but do not fret, for the Great and Powerful Trixie will still provide a gallant show!”
As Trixie continued her ominous speech, the stage began to fill with smoke.
“Behold a story of unfathomable peril and breathtaking stunts! To save Equestria is only just another feat for The Great and Powerful T-rrr-ixie!”
Now engulfed in what was now a stage full of smoke, a moment passed for it to dissipate. Three fillies and a colt, both with their respective costumes, stood centerstage in front of the crowd.
Sparkleberry was the first to speak. “Behold, for it is I! The Young and Powerful Trixie! Along Trixie’s dangerous quests, Trixie had acquired a set of allies capable to overcome the daunting trials of saving Equestria from the well known evil, Queen Chrysalis!”
With a flash of magic, the background of the stage changed to a dynamic setting full of crystals and rock formations.
“It was inside the caves of her lair that Trixie and her friends had found themselves in! Say, Thorax, you should know inside and out of these caves! Find the Great and Powerful Trixie the direction toward the Queen!”
A filly, taller than Sparkleberry, motioned her way toward the edge of the stage. With the illumination of her horn, a portal appeared. “It’s this way!”
The four jumped through the portal. As they disappeared, the background changed once more to a different set of caves. As they jumped back on stage, the scene filled with smoke once more.
“What is that?” Sparkleberry moved her hooves through the smoke. She raised an eyebrow as she further questioned what a faint fog was.
“I don’t know,” the filly as Thorax said as he observed the setting. “It feels ominous.”
From behind them, two makeshift monsters appeared. “Whoo- goess- theerre-” their ghastly form sounded.
“It be monsters, and a whole swarm of them! A hundred or so!” The colt took the center stage and faced the two figures. “Be as it may that I have no power, I will take on these monsters! The rest of you, go! We will not be able to go any further if I do not distract them here!”
“Do you think you will be capable of such a task?” Sparkleberry said. Worry dripped in her voice as she acted it out.
“Do not worry, for I have this! Leave! Now!”
“This way!” The Thorax pony said as her horn illuminated once more to reveal a portal.
The three jumped through, but Sparkleberry paused once reaching the next side. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will remember his effort. He will not go in vain. We must win for Equestria!”
The three continued down the path. However, at the end of it, they had been met with a surprise.
The unspoken filly finally came front. “You came back! And so soon! How?”
“It was with the light of friendship that brought me back. Now, let us go! We must defeat the queen!”
The colt lead the group, but could not hear the whispers from the the other three.
“Hold it right there,” the same filly said. “How do we know if you’re real?”
“What a silly question, of course I am real!”
“Well, then do you remember the plan to take down the evil Queen Chrysalis?”
The colt sidestepped with an “Um...”
“We’ve been found out! Get them!” he shouted.
With that, figures surrounded the group.
“Fear not, fellow members! I will grab the attention of this ambush and you two shall go to the chamber of the evil Queen!”
“Good luck to you, my dear friend! The Great and Powerful Trixie will always remember you!”
“And to you too.”
With that, the only two jumped through another portal.
“Oh, such brave party members we have, Trixie. How could they so bravely give away their lives like that!”
“Do not fear, Thorax. For they are brave ponies indeed. We will honor them and respect their name forever more.” Sparkleberry moved onward. “Now let us go to the chamber. The Queen awaits.”
“About that...” Thorax reconsidered.
“Do you have an issue?”
“I know that we’ve been through a lot, and that we’ve done so much together to get here, but I know what the Queen wants. She wants me, not you, and I really shouldn’t have brought you on this quest in the first place. This is my trouble, after all.”
“Thorax, do not put all the blame on yourself. The Great and Powerful Trixie knows the hardships of losing what is important to her. The Queen has caused Trixie strife as well, as well as her allies. Trixie have quarrel with her as well as you do.”
Thorax sat there silent, unmoved by Sparkleberry’s words. “Do not do what Trixie thinks you are about to do. Rethink this.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do this.” Thorax’s horn illuminated, while the resounding scream of Sparkleberry came through the portal that sucked her up.
Thorax, without anyone beside them, entered the Queen’s chamber alone.
“Ah, so you did come after all,” a sound came from behind Thorax. They turned, only to be greeted by an abhorrent monster that walked on four hooves.
“Let go of your grasp on Equestria, Queen, for I will give myself to you.” Thorax refused to face the Queen. They faced forward, emotionless, as the Queen squared Thorax up.
“You want me, to give up?” The queen laughed at Thorax’s desperation. She began climbing the walls of her lair as she circled Thorax.
“How about I take everything that’s left in you and keep Equestria. That sounds like a fair deal to me.” Her head twisted as her body climbed while her head still focused on Thorax.
“Leave me out of this, this is my last say.”
“Or what?”
As if on cue, the wall of the Queen’s lair exploded. Behind stood the three partners from before.
“Trixie! I told you not to come!” Surprised, enthusiasm returned to Thorax as he ran to the trio.
“Your troubles are our troubles, my dear friend. No matter what, you can’t leave us out of it.”
Trixie sidestepped Thorax and faced the Queen.
“Now, Queen, I come not to represent just the Great and Powerful Trixie, but the four of us, as well as all of Equestria!”
“Oh my, how threatening. What are you going to do, challenge me?”
Sparkleberry smirked. “That’s exactly what Trixie was thinking.”
“You’re kidding, right? You believe you have as much power as me?”
“Power doesn’t come from individuals, Queen. Power comes from trust, from love, from friendship!”
“What a bunch of hooey.” The queen rolled what could’ve been her eyes.
“It is true! And Trixie will show you just how much you are lacking!” Sparkleberry took her stance toward the monster.
“Fine, be it your own death!” Without warning, the monster fired a beam of magic toward Sparkleberry. Without a moment’s hesitation, however, Sparkleberry fired back with a continuous beam of her own.
The queen began to laugh. “What formidable power of friendship you have! I can barely even feel your strength!”
The beam slid toward the side of Sparkleberry. After seeing this, Sparkleberry didn’t falter, instead she looked back to her friends.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie requires your power! Please, give it to me!”
“You got it!” the trio said together. Their horns illuminated, and with a couple sparks, they manifested themselves onto Sparkleberry. The beam’s distance toward them grew and grew, until it had finally been pushed back onto the Queen.
“No, this can’t be happening! How is this possible?”
The four confidently stood. “By the power of friendship!”
And with that, the scene goes to white. After the light turns transparent, Trixie and her crew stood on the centerpiece of the stage.
“For the courage of saving Equestria, you three have been recognized as the Great and Powerful Trixie’s greatest best friends. You all will be heard far and wide with fame and glory to your names.” Sparkleberry bowed to each of the three students.
“I must also say sorry to my good friend Thorax. For the bond between us was lacking within the moments before the final confrontation. It is from this that Trixie has learned to correct the mistakes that Trixie makes. She has realized that for us to be true friends with real trust, we must start anew.”
The filly playing thorax bowed to Trixie once more.
“And to you,” Sparkleberry faced the crowd, “those who hear the story, keep it close to your heart. For when life may seem rough and events may seem dim, just know that there is in fact a way to approach it. Know that there is always going to be a supportive way to deal with your troubles. Do not delude yourself in thinking that your friends aren’t there for a reason. For they are the ones you love, the ones you care for, the ones you wish to see better in life. Take away from this that even you can become a true friend to the Great, and Powerful, Trixie!”
A mass of flares engulfed the sky above the stage, however the sound of the flares were deafened out by the applause that erupted from the audience. The actors on staged bowed for their performance and continued for the time being.
At the back stage, Starlight scoffed. A flare wasn’t a firework, after all.
“You just couldn’t resist having some kind of bright light, could you?”
“You should know Trixie,” Trixie smiled at the stage.
“You are Trixie’s greatest best friend, after all.”
Pics
You keep confusing Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer in this. I counted seven Sunsets.
In the first section, Trixie’s departure also seemed… too abrupt. Considering what’s she’s dealt with before, it would take more than a few vegetables to get her off stage. And that particular trick? It’s one thing to put the magician in danger. It’s another thing entirely to put an unwilling and unaware audience in danger. She could have very well been arrested for that (and probably should have. That could have been interesting, though frankly, Starlight would/should have strangled her for even coming up with it).
Starlight switched to Sunset at multiple points. I’m also unsure why we just read another recount of Trixie’s “battle” with Twilight. To me, it sounds like Trixie’s gone right back to Season 1 with the added benefit of sometimes being talked down by Starlight. Starlight’s character also didn’t feel like Starlight. The dialogue seemed much more in line with Twilight’s. Perhaps she was simply too confident? It’s hard to pin down.
I’m really not sure what to think here. Far too much time was spent on retelling of stories we’ve already seen and already know. While I know the audience of the town doesn’t know this story, the readers do. So something needs to be changed. Either they need to be entirely different stories (or wildly outlandish versions of them… but since we’ve already seen Trixie do that… it’s not a route I would go), or substantially shortened versions of them. Then again, that removes a great deal of the story.
I didn’t feel like there was any true character arc for Trixie here, even though one was attempted. She didn’t act like she learned anything. She didn’t resist Sparkleberry’s plan (which might have been interesting). I didn’t see any reason why she earned ‘a second chance.’ She still seemed as ego-driven as the first time we saw her. What drew Starlight and Trixie together were their mistakes and their attempts to get over them. I saw very little of that. It was almost as if Starlight was playing Twilight to a Trixie playing Starlight (if that makes any sense). This story needs a some fairly serious polish as well. There’s a lot of strange word choices, misspellings and other similar things.
The general sense I got was trying to show Trixie learning how to play the appropriate show to the appropriate crowd with Starlight trying to help reign her in. And that core story is there! It just needs some work to let it shine through.
Starlight switched to Sunset at multiple points. I’m also unsure why we just read another recount of Trixie’s “battle” with Twilight. To me, it sounds like Trixie’s gone right back to Season 1 with the added benefit of sometimes being talked down by Starlight. Starlight’s character also didn’t feel like Starlight. The dialogue seemed much more in line with Twilight’s. Perhaps she was simply too confident? It’s hard to pin down.
I’m really not sure what to think here. Far too much time was spent on retelling of stories we’ve already seen and already know. While I know the audience of the town doesn’t know this story, the readers do. So something needs to be changed. Either they need to be entirely different stories (or wildly outlandish versions of them… but since we’ve already seen Trixie do that… it’s not a route I would go), or substantially shortened versions of them. Then again, that removes a great deal of the story.
I didn’t feel like there was any true character arc for Trixie here, even though one was attempted. She didn’t act like she learned anything. She didn’t resist Sparkleberry’s plan (which might have been interesting). I didn’t see any reason why she earned ‘a second chance.’ She still seemed as ego-driven as the first time we saw her. What drew Starlight and Trixie together were their mistakes and their attempts to get over them. I saw very little of that. It was almost as if Starlight was playing Twilight to a Trixie playing Starlight (if that makes any sense). This story needs a some fairly serious polish as well. There’s a lot of strange word choices, misspellings and other similar things.
The general sense I got was trying to show Trixie learning how to play the appropriate show to the appropriate crowd with Starlight trying to help reign her in. And that core story is there! It just needs some work to let it shine through.
Some of the writing was clumsy, but I wasn't bored. I still wanted to know how this would turn out. Trixie redemption stories are pretty common, but there's enough new elements here so it doesn't feel stale. it's an alright slice of life story that could use some polishing.
I thought the opening was pretty strong. It's written in a overdramatic style that sounds just like how Trixie would narrate this herself. and here we get the picture prompt, lots of flashes and firework. but it figuratively backfires on the audience, they hate it! so far it's enjoyable, it has my attention.
some of these names get easily confusing. I misread Twinkle as Twilight at first. guess what Sparkleberry reminded me of. but later on, there's a Scruffleberry. anyway, Sparkleberry gets the point-of-view after the opening, and she has some potential. but at this point I wasn't totally clear if the story would be focused on her, or go back to Trixie's character growth. it seemed to wander between the two options, but took too long to let them meet and interact in a fun way.
it was funny how Trixie's stories end up biased in her favor, even when she's supposedly trying to deliver a message about friendship and forgiveness. she may be shifting away from glamour and vanity, but still has plenty of it to spare. the irony is kind of amusing, since the reader knows the truth better than the show's audience.
the story's low on excitement and pizzazz for being about Trixie, and I'm not sure who learned what lesson at the end, but I think it's heading in the right direction.
I thought the opening was pretty strong. It's written in a overdramatic style that sounds just like how Trixie would narrate this herself. and here we get the picture prompt, lots of flashes and firework. but it figuratively backfires on the audience, they hate it! so far it's enjoyable, it has my attention.
some of these names get easily confusing. I misread Twinkle as Twilight at first. guess what Sparkleberry reminded me of. but later on, there's a Scruffleberry. anyway, Sparkleberry gets the point-of-view after the opening, and she has some potential. but at this point I wasn't totally clear if the story would be focused on her, or go back to Trixie's character growth. it seemed to wander between the two options, but took too long to let them meet and interact in a fun way.
it was funny how Trixie's stories end up biased in her favor, even when she's supposedly trying to deliver a message about friendship and forgiveness. she may be shifting away from glamour and vanity, but still has plenty of it to spare. the irony is kind of amusing, since the reader knows the truth better than the show's audience.
the story's low on excitement and pizzazz for being about Trixie, and I'm not sure who learned what lesson at the end, but I think it's heading in the right direction.
I get that early Trixie was a feckless showpony, but I have a hard time imagining her putting on a show, even then, that would blind and maim members of the audience. Maiming does not a popular pony make. This being post-To Where and Back Again makes her poor choice in choreography all the more strange.
I also have kind of a hard time buying that she got the chance to give a classroom talk and put on a second show after the mess she caused. Destruction of property and injuring the elderly usually get you a night in a cell, not an encore. The mayor even explicitly states that the town is largely an aged, vulnerable populace. She's being needlessly reckless letting Trixie perform again instead of just accepting her apology and letting her move on.
On the positive side of things, there's a subtle display of Sparkleberry's family dynamic revealed toward the middle.
From this I gather her parents are the wandering, adventurous type. It neatly explains 'Berry's enthusiasm for the danger and novelty of Trixie's show.
It was a nice idea using local kids in the show to help smooth over tensions. The kids sounded a bit like they were trying to ape old English without really knowing how, though. I blame Starlight.
I also have kind of a hard time buying that she got the chance to give a classroom talk and put on a second show after the mess she caused. Destruction of property and injuring the elderly usually get you a night in a cell, not an encore. The mayor even explicitly states that the town is largely an aged, vulnerable populace. She's being needlessly reckless letting Trixie perform again instead of just accepting her apology and letting her move on.
On the positive side of things, there's a subtle display of Sparkleberry's family dynamic revealed toward the middle.
My grandparents are always hearing about stories like that from my mom and dad [...]
From this I gather her parents are the wandering, adventurous type. It neatly explains 'Berry's enthusiasm for the danger and novelty of Trixie's show.
It was a nice idea using local kids in the show to help smooth over tensions. The kids sounded a bit like they were trying to ape old English without really knowing how, though. I blame Starlight.
>>Rao
Yeah, same. Trixie's an egotist, but she's not a reckless maniac. I mean, she was, that one time, but only under the influence of powerful dark magic. Also, it's disappointing that the collateral damage from Trixie's show isn't actually part of the story, but rather narrated to us by the sparkles and the berries.
This is another piece that doesn't quite come together. Others have pointed out that Starlight's name switches to Sunset, seemingly at random, which certainly serves pulls the reader out of the story, and there are the issues with Trixie's characterization and the internal logic of the story (what would compel the city to give Trixie another chance to perform, and why would Trixie leap at the opportunity to shove all the work onto a bunch of children?). Lemme add, though, that the children don't talk or act like children in the final scene.
So the kids want to put on a performance of their own. Cute. Could work. The kids pull off the performance without a hitch, better than Trixie ever could. That's... implausible. You'd think they'd mess up a great deal more than they do, that there'd be awkward dialogue or delivery, or flubbed lines. Maybe one of them starts crying halfway through. Kid stuff. Instead, they speak and act like seasoned vets of the stage, and they even pull off impressive theater effects and magic (portals?) which puts Trixie and Starlight, two professional magicians, to shame.
And they were able to put all of this together in how much time, again?
Gonna close with some observations about grammar: Your use of "should of" is a common mistake. You wanna write "should've," as in the contraction of "should have." Spoken out loud, of course, it sounds like "should of," but in writing, it's "should've."
Speaking of apostrophes, your use of "it's" to indicate possession is another common mistake. The form of "it's" you're using is another contraction, this time of "it is." The word you want, to indicate possession, is simply "its." No apostrophe.
It's rare that I actually lecture on grammar... hrmph.
I get that early Trixie was a feckless showpony, but I have a hard time imagining her putting on a show, even then, that would blind and maim members of the audience. Maiming does not a popular pony make. This being post-To Where and Back Again makes her poor choice in choreography all the more strange.
Yeah, same. Trixie's an egotist, but she's not a reckless maniac. I mean, she was, that one time, but only under the influence of powerful dark magic. Also, it's disappointing that the collateral damage from Trixie's show isn't actually part of the story, but rather narrated to us by the sparkles and the berries.
This is another piece that doesn't quite come together. Others have pointed out that Starlight's name switches to Sunset, seemingly at random, which certainly serves pulls the reader out of the story, and there are the issues with Trixie's characterization and the internal logic of the story (what would compel the city to give Trixie another chance to perform, and why would Trixie leap at the opportunity to shove all the work onto a bunch of children?). Lemme add, though, that the children don't talk or act like children in the final scene.
So the kids want to put on a performance of their own. Cute. Could work. The kids pull off the performance without a hitch, better than Trixie ever could. That's... implausible. You'd think they'd mess up a great deal more than they do, that there'd be awkward dialogue or delivery, or flubbed lines. Maybe one of them starts crying halfway through. Kid stuff. Instead, they speak and act like seasoned vets of the stage, and they even pull off impressive theater effects and magic (portals?) which puts Trixie and Starlight, two professional magicians, to shame.
And they were able to put all of this together in how much time, again?
Gonna close with some observations about grammar: Your use of "should of" is a common mistake. You wanna write "should've," as in the contraction of "should have." Spoken out loud, of course, it sounds like "should of," but in writing, it's "should've."
Speaking of apostrophes, your use of "it's" to indicate possession is another common mistake. The form of "it's" you're using is another contraction, this time of "it is." The word you want, to indicate possession, is simply "its." No apostrophe.
It's rare that I actually lecture on grammar... hrmph.
First, the good: You've got a solid grasp of your characters, author. This is a very Trixie-ish Trixie. Starlight's supportiveness makes her a good secondary character, Sparkleberry is pretty charming for an OC, and Sparkleberry's family gets some good banter.
(Be careful about names, though. You've got "Sparkleberry" and "Scuffleberry", for instance, which are very easy to confuse, and it seems like almost everyone's name has something to do with light — "Twinkle", "Bright", etc. More distinctive names can help readers remember your characters better.)
Unfortunately, basic grammar and text errors kept knocking me out of the story, and I felt like it was a challenge for me to stay engaged. Comments above have mentioned a number of those problems. I'm going to mention two more that I repeatedly noticed:
1) Verb tense problems.
Only one of the three phrases in bold letters is correct.
The past perfect tense — here is a good basic primer — is used to indicate that something in the past came before a different event in the past. Very often when you use it (something "had happened"), either the time comparison is wrong, or there's no time comparison at all (meaning you want the simple past).
"With her finale to her introduction insured, the stage had been engulfed in a brilliant light of absolute white": The first part of the sentence sets up something occurring after the finale is insured. (Nitpick: I think you meant "ensured," but even that's not a great word here.) But then, with the past perfect verb tense, you say that the white light engulfed the stage before the finale was insured, so you're contradicting yourself.
(Side note: "had been engulfed" also uses the passive voice. This is not an error. However, most writing guides suggest avoiding the passive voice. Active-voice verbs are more dynamic, and also require fewer words. "Brilliant white light engulfed the stage" is short, direct, and puts more sentence emphasis on the thing you want to draw attention to — the light.)
"By its end, the centerpiece of attention had died down to the soft sounds of Trixie walking along the stage": This seems to be a correct use of past perfect. There is something in the past being described: The end (of the finale). There is a different thing in the past being described: The centerpiece of attention dying down. The dying down came first.
"She magically pulled up a black wooden box onto the stage. It’s front had faced the audience": This implies that the front faced the audience before Trixie moved it, not after. That's a strange observation, and the context of the rest of your story suggests that you meant it the other way around.
2. Noun gender.
English is not particularly strict about noun gender. If you have a monster which is male, you can refer to it as a "he" (it's male) or you can refer to it as an "it" (it's a monster). What you CAN'T do, however, is jump back and forth between those.
At any rate, author, take heart: While these sorts of basic problems can cause severe issues with a story, they are also the easiest things to fix with an editing pass, and you can get a dramatic increase in quality by doing so. You wrote one of the most ambitious stories of the round (over 7,000 words!). It's very difficult to both do that and edit, so I think this one will have a much easier time reaching its full potential after the contest is over.
Tier: Needs Work
(Be careful about names, though. You've got "Sparkleberry" and "Scuffleberry", for instance, which are very easy to confuse, and it seems like almost everyone's name has something to do with light — "Twinkle", "Bright", etc. More distinctive names can help readers remember your characters better.)
Unfortunately, basic grammar and text errors kept knocking me out of the story, and I felt like it was a challenge for me to stay engaged. Comments above have mentioned a number of those problems. I'm going to mention two more that I repeatedly noticed:
1) Verb tense problems.
With her finale to her introduction insured, the stage had been engulfed in a brilliant light of absolute white. The sounds of magnificent booms were the only thing conceived.
By it’s end, the centerpiece of attention had died down to the soft sounds of Trixie walking along the stage. She magically pulled up a black wooden box onto the stage. It’s front had faced the audience.
Only one of the three phrases in bold letters is correct.
The past perfect tense — here is a good basic primer — is used to indicate that something in the past came before a different event in the past. Very often when you use it (something "had happened"), either the time comparison is wrong, or there's no time comparison at all (meaning you want the simple past).
"With her finale to her introduction insured, the stage had been engulfed in a brilliant light of absolute white": The first part of the sentence sets up something occurring after the finale is insured. (Nitpick: I think you meant "ensured," but even that's not a great word here.) But then, with the past perfect verb tense, you say that the white light engulfed the stage before the finale was insured, so you're contradicting yourself.
(Side note: "had been engulfed" also uses the passive voice. This is not an error. However, most writing guides suggest avoiding the passive voice. Active-voice verbs are more dynamic, and also require fewer words. "Brilliant white light engulfed the stage" is short, direct, and puts more sentence emphasis on the thing you want to draw attention to — the light.)
"By its end, the centerpiece of attention had died down to the soft sounds of Trixie walking along the stage": This seems to be a correct use of past perfect. There is something in the past being described: The end (of the finale). There is a different thing in the past being described: The centerpiece of attention dying down. The dying down came first.
"She magically pulled up a black wooden box onto the stage. It’s front had faced the audience": This implies that the front faced the audience before Trixie moved it, not after. That's a strange observation, and the context of the rest of your story suggests that you meant it the other way around.
2. Noun gender.
The beast yelled its loud roar across the stage. His teeth salivated as it looked across past the stage into the crowd of ponies. A fireball formed at the edges of his teeth. It grew as the monster reared its head back until he threw it toward the crowd.
English is not particularly strict about noun gender. If you have a monster which is male, you can refer to it as a "he" (it's male) or you can refer to it as an "it" (it's a monster). What you CAN'T do, however, is jump back and forth between those.
At any rate, author, take heart: While these sorts of basic problems can cause severe issues with a story, they are also the easiest things to fix with an editing pass, and you can get a dramatic increase in quality by doing so. You wrote one of the most ambitious stories of the round (over 7,000 words!). It's very difficult to both do that and edit, so I think this one will have a much easier time reaching its full potential after the contest is over.
Tier: Needs Work
I, too, found it weird that Sunset's name was in this. Also, Trixie speaking in the third-person gets rather old after awhile.
>>horizon
Reading that is for me like jumping a couple of years back in time (though I always tried to avoid writing it’s instead of its).
I second Horizon. It's just a question of time and getting used to writing.
And yes “secured” would’ve prolly been much better here. ;)
PS: This is not my story, but I could certainly claim it just out of the points Horizon mentioned. [Not the contents, since I didn’t read it.]
Reading that is for me like jumping a couple of years back in time (though I always tried to avoid writing it’s instead of its).
I second Horizon. It's just a question of time and getting used to writing.
And yes “secured” would’ve prolly been much better here. ;)
PS: This is not my story, but I could certainly claim it just out of the points Horizon mentioned. [Not the contents, since I didn’t read it.]
>>Monokeras That's the second story you've claimed isn't yours. Methinks the 'keras doth protest too much.
HMMMM.
HMMMM.
I'll echo the general comment that, at a technical level, this fic does need a fair amount of work, and I think a lot of the above explains how you can improve there pretty well.
That said, you have a pretty solid core story here that I think can be made to start shining with proper polish and a couple revision passes!
That said, you have a pretty solid core story here that I think can be made to start shining with proper polish and a couple revision passes!
>>TitaniumDragon
>>Novel_Idea
>>Haze
>>horizon
>>MLPmatthewl419
>>Monokeras
As I said before, I had gotten sick during the Writeoff weekend and had only two days for writing, since I was so weak the second day. I had written only the first part during the first day, I planned to watch one or two episodes to understand Starlight's character more, and even plan more on how to explain things much better with the entire story while tying up loose ends with grammar fixing and typos on the third day. I always put at least three hours into all of my stories with fixing up technical issues. Obviously, this wasn't present here.
Instead, with the first day only having 1.5k words written, I had to write the other 80% on the last day. I stayed up to 3:30 AM finalizing everything hoping that people would at least have fun with my story. If you did, then thanks fam-fams.
Don't understand why the village ponies took Trixie under their wings just like that? Well, right after the duo met with the mayor, they were supposed to have a quick emotional speech in the middle of their bingo match, which lead them to soften up. While quick writing, I forgot this. I realized this the next day during my first read through.
Wonder why Sunset and Starlight are confused? To me, they're the same characters. Same origin story, same personalities, same character role, hell, they even have rhyming names. I should work on that more, but yeah.
Trixie going over the top a little bit was going to be explained, but that was cut from the final work as I didn't want to go into stuff that I could just simply skip. Thinking about it now, I could've placed it somewhere else though with one line or two, however.
"Tomorrow would be fine, or even the day after. Well, you can have as long as you like, really."
Not blaming you or anything, but I also should've shown the passage of time within the story too so you wouldn't have that misunderstanding. Even if it was in a quick montage format. Would quick montages work in written form? I don't know.
Oh, and the funniest part for me was during the play, to where I stopped caring. I really like the idea of vikings battling it to the death in my stories, so as the play progressed, I purposely made it so they were transforming into old men. Hey, it was 2:00 AM when I wrote that and I was extremely tired. I had to entertain myself someway. :P
I may finish this and put it up on fimfiction, but I don't really feel like it right now. If I ever get bored in the future and just want to, then maybe I will.
>>Novel_Idea
>>Haze
>>horizon
>>MLPmatthewl419
>>Monokeras
As I said before, I had gotten sick during the Writeoff weekend and had only two days for writing, since I was so weak the second day. I had written only the first part during the first day, I planned to watch one or two episodes to understand Starlight's character more, and even plan more on how to explain things much better with the entire story while tying up loose ends with grammar fixing and typos on the third day. I always put at least three hours into all of my stories with fixing up technical issues. Obviously, this wasn't present here.
Instead, with the first day only having 1.5k words written, I had to write the other 80% on the last day. I stayed up to 3:30 AM finalizing everything hoping that people would at least have fun with my story. If you did, then thanks fam-fams.
Don't understand why the village ponies took Trixie under their wings just like that? Well, right after the duo met with the mayor, they were supposed to have a quick emotional speech in the middle of their bingo match, which lead them to soften up. While quick writing, I forgot this. I realized this the next day during my first read through.
Wonder why Sunset and Starlight are confused? To me, they're the same characters. Same origin story, same personalities, same character role, hell, they even have rhyming names. I should work on that more, but yeah.
Trixie going over the top a little bit was going to be explained, but that was cut from the final work as I didn't want to go into stuff that I could just simply skip. Thinking about it now, I could've placed it somewhere else though with one line or two, however.
And they were able to put all of this together in how much time, again?
"Tomorrow would be fine, or even the day after. Well, you can have as long as you like, really."
Not blaming you or anything, but I also should've shown the passage of time within the story too so you wouldn't have that misunderstanding. Even if it was in a quick montage format. Would quick montages work in written form? I don't know.
Oh, and the funniest part for me was during the play, to where I stopped caring. I really like the idea of vikings battling it to the death in my stories, so as the play progressed, I purposely made it so they were transforming into old men. Hey, it was 2:00 AM when I wrote that and I was extremely tired. I had to entertain myself someway. :P
I may finish this and put it up on fimfiction, but I don't really feel like it right now. If I ever get bored in the future and just want to, then maybe I will.