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The Honest Truth
Rarity smelled like apples.
The thought wedged itself in Applejack’s head and, despite her best efforts, she was having trouble dislodging it. Not that she needed to. It was just her noticing things, just like anypony would. She couldn’t blame her nose for smelling things anymore than she could blame the eyes for seeing things.
Like Rarity’s mane being a right nice color. Or how she had really pretty eyes. Or how she usually cut a fine figure in her dresses.
The kinda things anypony’d notice.
“Why, I am impressed! I really think this will work!”
Applejack blinked as she realized that, while she might’ve been paying attention to Rarity, apparently she hadn’t been listening to her. “Uh, sorry. What’ll work?”
“Your plan for the Ponyville Cider Tasting, darling!” Rarity rustled the papers on the table between them, placing a crudely drawn sketch on top. “Of all of the ideas, I quite think this is the best – if in need of a little artistic intervention to help realize it. Still, the idea of hosting it right in the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres is simply marvelous!”
“Ah, right. Yeah. Well, I’m glad you like it!” Pushing all those distractions aside, she tried to focus on the project in front of them. “I know most of them’ll be expecting a fancy restaurant or something, but I figure there’d at least be a few ponies that might like seeing where their cider comes from. Plus, I bet they don’t get to see too many orchards in the big city.”
“Indeed! It really is a stroke of genius!” Rarity nodded, her eyes shining with that same light they always did when something took her fancy and her ideas started bubbling over. “Of course, I don’t think we’ll be able to follow your plans exactly. Like you said, they will have expectations that must be met. Just pulling the tables out of your barn simply will not do. We must balance an authentic, rustic experience with something they would be a little more comfortable with. Prance country chic, perhaps? I do believe it’s coming back into style...”
Applejack nodded along, focusing on the words coming out of Rarity’s mouth this time around. Which was plenty easy, because anypony passionate as she was was a real treat to listen to. Sure, sometimes Rarity might be so stuck up she’d drown in a rainstorm, but better that than a pony who didn’t care a lick about what she was doing.
“...finding the right craftspony to complete such an ambitious project in so short a time might be difficult…”
Besides, spend enough time around her and you started caring at least a little about all the high falutin stuff. You couldn’t really know Rarity as long as she’d had without learning to appreciate haute couture at least a little bit.
“...and perhaps we could even offer them a tour of the orchard in the form of a hayride! Why, that would be tremendously quaint…”
That’s exactly the sort of thing friends did. They got interested in each other’s interests.
Rarity stared at her. “Are you feeling quite alright, Applejack?”
“Huh?”
Rarity leaned over the table. “You look like you’re miles away right now. Are you even listening?”
“Yeah. You were asking about hayrides, which I’m sure we could do, so long as you don’t want me or Big Mac dressing all fancy.” She hesitated, guilt getting the better of her. “But you’re right about me being distracted. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now, so we probably ought to take a break for now.”
Even if these weren’t all perfectly normal things, it wasn’t like it mattered. Mixing friendships and special someponies was a recipe for disaster. If a pony started thinking and talking about things like that, it’d be mighty hard to go back.
“Could I help you with any of it?”
Besides, even if that were really what she was thinking about, somepony like her and Rarity’d never work. They might’ve started to appreciate each other’s lives and weird ways a whole lot more, they were still about as far apart as two ponies could be. Just too many problems there.
Which was why it was good that the none of it meant anything. That it was all just normal stuff
Applejack shook her head. “Nah, don’t you worry yourself about it. Just a thing I gotta deal with, that’s all.”
And that was the honest truth.
The thought wedged itself in Applejack’s head and, despite her best efforts, she was having trouble dislodging it. Not that she needed to. It was just her noticing things, just like anypony would. She couldn’t blame her nose for smelling things anymore than she could blame the eyes for seeing things.
Like Rarity’s mane being a right nice color. Or how she had really pretty eyes. Or how she usually cut a fine figure in her dresses.
The kinda things anypony’d notice.
“Why, I am impressed! I really think this will work!”
Applejack blinked as she realized that, while she might’ve been paying attention to Rarity, apparently she hadn’t been listening to her. “Uh, sorry. What’ll work?”
“Your plan for the Ponyville Cider Tasting, darling!” Rarity rustled the papers on the table between them, placing a crudely drawn sketch on top. “Of all of the ideas, I quite think this is the best – if in need of a little artistic intervention to help realize it. Still, the idea of hosting it right in the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres is simply marvelous!”
“Ah, right. Yeah. Well, I’m glad you like it!” Pushing all those distractions aside, she tried to focus on the project in front of them. “I know most of them’ll be expecting a fancy restaurant or something, but I figure there’d at least be a few ponies that might like seeing where their cider comes from. Plus, I bet they don’t get to see too many orchards in the big city.”
“Indeed! It really is a stroke of genius!” Rarity nodded, her eyes shining with that same light they always did when something took her fancy and her ideas started bubbling over. “Of course, I don’t think we’ll be able to follow your plans exactly. Like you said, they will have expectations that must be met. Just pulling the tables out of your barn simply will not do. We must balance an authentic, rustic experience with something they would be a little more comfortable with. Prance country chic, perhaps? I do believe it’s coming back into style...”
Applejack nodded along, focusing on the words coming out of Rarity’s mouth this time around. Which was plenty easy, because anypony passionate as she was was a real treat to listen to. Sure, sometimes Rarity might be so stuck up she’d drown in a rainstorm, but better that than a pony who didn’t care a lick about what she was doing.
“...finding the right craftspony to complete such an ambitious project in so short a time might be difficult…”
Besides, spend enough time around her and you started caring at least a little about all the high falutin stuff. You couldn’t really know Rarity as long as she’d had without learning to appreciate haute couture at least a little bit.
“...and perhaps we could even offer them a tour of the orchard in the form of a hayride! Why, that would be tremendously quaint…”
That’s exactly the sort of thing friends did. They got interested in each other’s interests.
Rarity stared at her. “Are you feeling quite alright, Applejack?”
“Huh?”
Rarity leaned over the table. “You look like you’re miles away right now. Are you even listening?”
“Yeah. You were asking about hayrides, which I’m sure we could do, so long as you don’t want me or Big Mac dressing all fancy.” She hesitated, guilt getting the better of her. “But you’re right about me being distracted. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now, so we probably ought to take a break for now.”
Even if these weren’t all perfectly normal things, it wasn’t like it mattered. Mixing friendships and special someponies was a recipe for disaster. If a pony started thinking and talking about things like that, it’d be mighty hard to go back.
“Could I help you with any of it?”
Besides, even if that were really what she was thinking about, somepony like her and Rarity’d never work. They might’ve started to appreciate each other’s lives and weird ways a whole lot more, they were still about as far apart as two ponies could be. Just too many problems there.
Which was why it was good that the none of it meant anything. That it was all just normal stuff
Applejack shook her head. “Nah, don’t you worry yourself about it. Just a thing I gotta deal with, that’s all.”
And that was the honest truth.
Romance stories aren’t usually my thing. That said, the character voices are spot on, and this hits the right saddening notes for love unrequited. This will go in my upper tier.
That's a very good choice of setting for that interaction, and a nice description of Applejack's thoughts throughout the conversation. Good characterization and voicing, solid story arc.
The ending leaves it a little ambiguous whether Applejack is deceiving herself about it or legitimately using the chains of reasoning she applies throughout to push her thoughts in that direction. I'm not sure how to feel about that, but tentatively I think I like it better ambiguous than not.
The ending leaves it a little ambiguous whether Applejack is deceiving herself about it or legitimately using the chains of reasoning she applies throughout to push her thoughts in that direction. I'm not sure how to feel about that, but tentatively I think I like it better ambiguous than not.
This is a really solid minific. The shipping works because we're inside Applejack's head, we know why she feels this attraction. The only thing I think is missing is why she chooses not to. I mean it's there a little, but it's not built up nearly as vividly as the first half. Her rationale seems kinda vague, maybe cliche.
It avoids the usual pitfall of "why are they kissing?" but instead steers into "hurry up and kiss already!"
It avoids the usual pitfall of "why are they kissing?" but instead steers into "hurry up and kiss already!"
I love it. I love the characterisation and I love the deft execution of the prompt. I particularly love the ambiguity of the ending. It's all spot on, and it's now sitting pretty at the top of my slate.
Thanks for sharing your work.
Love it.
Thanks for sharing your work.
Love it.
I think "blame the eyes" is a very weird way to put it, especially right after "blame her nose".
"real pretty" would be more AJ-ish than "really pretty".
"a few ponies who", not "that".
I can't imagine Applejack thinking this, even if she's rationalizing. She's a family mare, and she of all ponies would have the wisdom to marry a friend.
I would also think that Applejack would take pause from the fact that Rarity detests young foals, and there's no way AJ would marry somepony without starting a family.
"real pretty" would be more AJ-ish than "really pretty".
"a few ponies who", not "that".
Mixing friendships and special someponies was a recipe for disaster.
I can't imagine Applejack thinking this, even if she's rationalizing. She's a family mare, and she of all ponies would have the wisdom to marry a friend.
I would also think that Applejack would take pause from the fact that Rarity detests young foals, and there's no way AJ would marry somepony without starting a family.
Rarijack? Meh.
I guess there's nothing really wrong with this story. It just has no appeal to me at all. It's a good use of Simple Ways, though it completely ignores the actual canon relationships from that episode. ;P
I guess there's nothing really wrong with this story. It just has no appeal to me at all. It's a good use of Simple Ways, though it completely ignores the actual canon relationships from that episode. ;P
This is very solidly written, but the subject matter itself is pretty basic. So yeah, a good and realistically portrayed view in the mind of anyone that's every questions friendship becoming more, but... there are a lot of stories on that. Sold, but not top tier for me.
This is... satisfactory. Solid enough voicing, solid enough idea, but doesn't really dig in enough anywhere for me. If you want to get in deep on crushing and all that, you should go all the way. I just don't quite buy AJ's conflict here.
Characterisation is done well enough. There's little to take away apart from that, and I'm no sucker for ship fics, so while I definitely hand it to you this is good writing job and it'll wind up in the upper middle of my slate, it won't skyrocket either because I'm basically unconcerned by AJ's rambling.
PS: is AJ a synaesthete?
PS: is AJ a synaesthete?
>>The_Letter_J I think we all know that there's only one acceptable Trenderhoof ship.
Being a peddler of slice-of-life sappiness, myself, I can appreciate this, even if the ship isn't to my taste. Applejack's captured well enough that I want to give her a hug and buy her a tub of ice cream to help her get over Rarity, (and I do enjoy her process of self-rationalization, as well as the irony that she's being dishonest toward herself) and a well-written Rarity is always a delight.
Being a peddler of slice-of-life sappiness, myself, I can appreciate this, even if the ship isn't to my taste. Applejack's captured well enough that I want to give her a hug and buy her a tub of ice cream to help her get over Rarity, (and I do enjoy her process of self-rationalization, as well as the irony that she's being dishonest toward herself) and a well-written Rarity is always a delight.
I liked this piece; I thought the characters were well written, and it makes good use of the prompt with Applejack trying to ignore her feeling for Rarity while not actually trying to force them down. Those sections are very evocative and emotional, and I think they're well-dispersed throughout the story.
I'll agree, though, that it feels a little flat. I think the reason for this is that, while Applejack is pining over Rarity, the two of them aren't actually doing anything; they're just standing around making plans. May I suggest that, instead of planning the cider-tasting, have the two of them actually setting the whole thing up at Sweet Apple Acres. While Applejack is intellectually considering her feelings, it's contrasted with her and Rarity putting up lights and tables in the fields, figuring out what vintages of cider to use in the tasting and what kind of vessels to drink out of (I can imagine and argument between Rarity wanting silver or crystal goblets and Applejack thinking simple wooden steins would do...). This might add more energy to the narrative and allow you to show more of contrast in tastes (no pun intended :) between the two characters.
Just a suggestion, and thanks for sharing!
I'll agree, though, that it feels a little flat. I think the reason for this is that, while Applejack is pining over Rarity, the two of them aren't actually doing anything; they're just standing around making plans. May I suggest that, instead of planning the cider-tasting, have the two of them actually setting the whole thing up at Sweet Apple Acres. While Applejack is intellectually considering her feelings, it's contrasted with her and Rarity putting up lights and tables in the fields, figuring out what vintages of cider to use in the tasting and what kind of vessels to drink out of (I can imagine and argument between Rarity wanting silver or crystal goblets and Applejack thinking simple wooden steins would do...). This might add more energy to the narrative and allow you to show more of contrast in tastes (no pun intended :) between the two characters.
Just a suggestion, and thanks for sharing!
Fairly paint-by-numbers shipfic here. Character A (Rarity) does their general thing, Character B finds themselves out of normal character because they're swooning over Character A, B engages in self-doubt assuming their attraction is unrequited and it can't work and etc etc. Opting for the downer end is the less common outcome, but, like Applejack, far from a rarity.
The prose is fine. Hard for me to pay too much attention to it, because the content is so predictable and it doesn't go for any gimmicks or unusual touches, but not bad.
One slightly subtle thing that does stand out here is the choice of characters. Applejack is the element of Honesty, and when she says it's the honest truth, she means it. So... ouch.
Overall, the definition of a solid but not outstanding piece. Fits the format, does everything it aims for, and doesn't do anything particularly wrong... but it also doesn't aim very high or take any risks. It'll make a good over/under bar for arranging my finalist votes. Thanks for writing, author - have confidence in your skills, you deserve it!
The prose is fine. Hard for me to pay too much attention to it, because the content is so predictable and it doesn't go for any gimmicks or unusual touches, but not bad.
One slightly subtle thing that does stand out here is the choice of characters. Applejack is the element of Honesty, and when she says it's the honest truth, she means it. So... ouch.
Overall, the definition of a solid but not outstanding piece. Fits the format, does everything it aims for, and doesn't do anything particularly wrong... but it also doesn't aim very high or take any risks. It'll make a good over/under bar for arranging my finalist votes. Thanks for writing, author - have confidence in your skills, you deserve it!
Right, I should comment on this.
Uh... real talk, basically read Ran's review for a pretty excellent summary of this fic. I set out with pretty simple aspirations (do a basic mane character shipfic), except with the very mild inversion of not forcing a happy ending. AJ/Rarity fit here nicely because it's like, my 3rd favorite ship and it allows at least a little play with AJ being the element of honesty.
And that's it, really.
Fun fact: I literally fell asleep every couple sentences trying to edit this. I am amazed it is coherent.
Whoops. And forgot the important part here! Thank you all for your lovely comments!
>>GroaningGreyAgony
>>Light_Striker
>>Haze
>>Ceffyl_Dwr
>>Trick_Question
>>The_Letter_J
>>Xepher
>>Monokeras
>>Posh
>>eusocialdragon
>>Ranmilia
Uh... real talk, basically read Ran's review for a pretty excellent summary of this fic. I set out with pretty simple aspirations (do a basic mane character shipfic), except with the very mild inversion of not forcing a happy ending. AJ/Rarity fit here nicely because it's like, my 3rd favorite ship and it allows at least a little play with AJ being the element of honesty.
And that's it, really.
Fun fact: I literally fell asleep every couple sentences trying to edit this. I am amazed it is coherent.
Whoops. And forgot the important part here! Thank you all for your lovely comments!
>>GroaningGreyAgony
>>Light_Striker
>>Haze
>>Ceffyl_Dwr
>>Trick_Question
>>The_Letter_J
>>Xepher
>>Monokeras
>>Posh
>>eusocialdragon
>>Ranmilia