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It's Your Funeral · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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Misplaced
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#1 ·
· · >>Icenrose >>Haze
You turned the meta up to 11 with this one, author, and your inspiration certainly extended into the sublime. I suspect some of the references are to D&D monsters or games I'm not familiar with, which hurts things slightly.

I'm not sure what this creative backstory to My Little Dashie is supposed to leave me feeling. Is it supposed to be strictly humorous? It's hard to do that, given the fact that what you're referencing is so infamously maudlin. You're also tying your story pretty tightly to somepony else's work, even though the story is more about the popularity of the other story than the story itself.
#2 ·
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oh my god this is a my little dashie prequel with aliens

what even
#3 ·
· · >>Haze
This is an interesting premise to serve as the unwritten prologue to My Little Dashie. The opening really hooked me, as the promise of dimension-hopping tends to do. The fact that the protagonist is treating the reader as an equal (indeed, going so far as to ask them for help) is subtly empowering, and it made me smile to myself as I read.

Your reach exceeds your grasp in a few places (the "my little pony" drop towards the end made me wince), but all told, I liked it, even if it did ride the coattails of the first MLP fanfic I read (or, perhaps, because of it, which is not a comfortable thought - what have you done to my precious objectivity, Writer?)

>>Trick_Question

Trick, I've been neck-deep in tabletop RPGs and the like for half my life, and I don't immediately recognize any of the creatures or places mentioned here (save for the Abyss, which is a general enough term that I'm inclined to give Writer the benefit of the doubt). Still, I can see how some of the pronouns, name-dropped in a way that worldbuilds via inference, could give somepony pause. It's a crutch that I think you lean on a bit too heavily, Writer.

Final Thought: Answers a Question Most Wouldn't Ask
#4 ·
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I absolutely love how you made pegasi sound monstrous and eldritch until we realize what it is. It takes the cuteness of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to make me forget how freaky the idea of a six-limbed mammal is.
#5 ·
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This meandered a bit in the middle, but once I understood what you were going for, it was hilarious. Still, a firmer foundation will definitely help, especially if you expand it. People could easily get lost during the casual conversation about Things no human mind should ever encounter.
#6 ·
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First I was like, whaaaaat?

Then I was like, lolollolol...

This was a really clever invocation of you-know-what. I liked how unexpected the whole thing was and how it managed to make that oldie feel fresh again.
#7 ·
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I'd say this is super-meta, but I don't understand hardly any of the references that are trying to be made, nor can I make any sense out of the narrative itself. Who's speaking? Who are they talking to? Are we even in a recognizable universe?

I'll probably abstain from this one, as I can't rightly decide if this was a meta attempt gone wrong, or a troll fic. And I don't want to unduly penalize the author by my guessing incorrectly on that.
#8 ·
· · >>Trick_Question
You know, one think I don't really like about this new discussion thread / review format is how easy it is to contaminate one's opinion of a story with other people's reactions. In the past, I generally avoided reading reviews of stories until I had read and reviewed them myself, so that my review would be unbiased by other people's interpretations. Now that's very difficult to avoid, with the reviews right there at the bottom.

In this case, that's quite lucky for the author. Because if the other reviews hadn't pointed out the connection to My Little Dashie, I would never have made that leap of logic. In which case this story would have received a big old "WTF was this supposed to be?" and been relegated to the bottom of my slate.

That explanation on the other hand, elevated it to the level of somewhat clever if super Meta.
#9 ·
· · >>CoffeeMinion
>>TheCyanRecluse
Honestly, I think that's a good thing rather than a bad thing.

You can avoid reading the other comments if you want to, but generally speaking it's helpful to be able to see what the hell a story is about, and this allows us to. It used to be the case that I'd never read the reviews for stories I hadn't reviewed yet, and so even in the rare case I read all the stories I wouldn't get to read all the reviews; but now I can read every single review because I read the old reviews for a story immediately after reading the story. It's super-convenient.
#10 ·
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>>Trick_Question
This has been my experience as well. I had my doubts going into this but I think the new way of doing things is working out thus far.
#11 ·
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Misplaced - All dialogue, so this will be a higher difficulty routine. And it’s a metafic based off of one of the major early fics. That cranks the difficulty up even higher and… It falls flat. Like going for a triple-axel and faceplanting. Afraid I can only give this one a B+ (the plus is for effort)
#12 ·
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My Little Dashie: the Prequel: the Backstory: the Author's Notes

I don't think My Little Dashie is a bad story. not a great one either, but I felt like it was trying to be genuine instead of manipulative. Considering all the fanart and animations and songs based on it, I think the fandom was more attracted to the general concept than the fic itself. It's less of a famous story, and more of a genre or archetype that everyone wanted to be a part of. I found a fimfiction group with almost a hundred stories based on it.

That's why I wasn't trying for anything very "meta" here, I assumed I was merely writing a silly parody on something so prolific. What if baby Dashie were adopted by a horrifying alien creature instead of a human?

But I didn't want to repeat the original's plot that closely, and it would've been too big for a minific anyway. So I thought the idea of Dash being passed from one host to the next as a prequel would be more convenient, and more amusing because of the grimness of it all. And along the way, I unexpectedly developed a nice moral out of it all: even terrifying dimension-hopping monsters deserve a little happiness from cute ponies too.

I just wanted it to be entertaining, absurd yet disturbing, but I guess it wasn't everyone's cup of tea. I'm glad some readers recognized the MLD idea early on, but it was still maybe too confusing and alien in the format it was written.

>>Trick_Question >>Icenrose
none of it's based on anything, I just improvised some weird creatures based on what I think is creepy & cool.

casual plane-hopping is inspired by Planescape, but it's not unique to that. "The Abyss" is a common name in these types of things, but I should've used another name to avoid confusion. I did borrow "Luxor" from a very obscure videogame just because I needed an exotic-sounding proper noun, but it has no relation to the source either. I possibly would have used Lovecraft mythology as an homage, but I know almost nothing about his 'verse. luckily, nobody inferred that the "tentacle" meant the main character was Cthulhu, I would've cringed at that.