I did see most of Adventure Time but didn't watch it regularly, so if there are any references beyond Lemon Grab's catchphrase or the mention of adventure in general, I probably missed it.

This has kind of the rhythm and feel of a slam poem, and the irregular rhyme patterns seem to fit that as well. It felt at first like I couldn't figure out a pattern to it at all, but the slam poem aesthetic plus the explicit declaration that it's in unacceptable condition lead me to believe that's the point.

There's two parts to poetry, the message and the skill of construction, and free verse almost always lacks the latter, which is what makes it have a high barrier to being impressive, but this is only meant to be a bit of silly fun, and it does that well enough.

Another one that makes it seem like the breaks in form were deliberate to make a point. The first two lines have the same rhythm and syllable count, then the last one plows through all that with the "bitters" serving as a contrast to the prior citrus imagery as well as justifying the breakage of form. I like wordplay with "sourly" and "zesty," plus the pun title, but the "citrus" on the second line may be too on the nose.

I get the sense of mixing flavor categories to produce something more than the sum of its parts, but if there's a real product here, I'm not sure what that is. I've never heard of combining lemon with honeysuckle, though if the point is just generically tempering sourness with sweetness, then fair enough. Though the ending line suggests this won't actually work, and by then I'm lost as to what it all means. i started to lose the sense of that about halfway through the third stanza.

Structurally, the only possible hiccup is whether "cruelties" is taken as two syllables or three.

>>Pascoite
This is another one where the 'Wait until 3 AM' strategy didn't quite produce something worth the candle. Thanks for the kind comment!

I love many of these lines. The sound, the comical grandiosity of " Alkali / Infuses all my innards! Sweetness fails!", "My caustic fluids always mortify," "twisting lips that try!"

I agree with Pascoite that it becomes confusing. The final stanza first says that the combination works, then says it did not. The sentence "Challenge leads to thoughts that can't deny exactly what's required" is a terribly clumsy way of saying something like "Challenge leads to change," and expressing the public's pleasure at the combo by saying they will "buy" could resonate emotionally only with Ayn Rand.

>>Pascoite
Three syllables, please!

>>Pascoite
>>Bad Horse

Thanks, folks!

As often happens with these 24-hour poems, everything I had planned at the beginning has changed by the time I get to the middle fo the second verse, and by then it's too late to make the revisions that need to be made. This one needs a different refrain line, for instance, though right now I have no idea what that might be. I reckon it'll come to me eventually. :)

Mike