Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.

Escalation · Poetry Minific ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 15–1000
Show rules for this event
#1 · 2
#2 · 1
· on Buyer's Remorse · >>Baal Bunny
The line about "undispensed" confused me. I'm not sure what it meant. Several of the rhymes were very clever. I'm not sure why the middle stanza gets cut short. Because the narrator's thought process gets interrupted by the noise?

At first, I thought this would be thematic with Halloween, especially because some of it does speak to supernatural happenings. In fact, I think it can be taken either way. Is it just metaphor that he likens the litany of sounds to a marching band, or is there an actual one outside, and he simply assumed at first that it was more noises emanating from the house?

As a homeowner myself, and one who's far too attuned to hearing every little thing that might go wrong, this one really speaks to me. My wife hears none of it and would happily let problems get far worse before she noticed them, while I dread every little creak and snap, assuming it's going to be something expensive to fix. In short, when I retire, I'll probably look to move somewhere that maintenance is provided.
#3 · 1
· on Fianchetto
I don't know what the title means, so that's lost on me. I'm kind of getting two things from this, and I'm not sure what is intended. It's of course a long-standing trope to play chess with Death, and the imagery seems to go that way, if not explicitly said. Without that, though, I don't really have the context to understand the meaning here, aside from just a simple "here's a creepy scenario." I take the "escalation" as the narrator only observing the game at first, then becoming incorporated into it, and it's a cool (though maybe unintended) inversion to have the narrator descend to it by going down the stairs.
#4 · 1
· on Open End · >>Baal Bunny
There are so many ways I could interpret this that I'm left grasping for a meaning. Sometimes that's intended, but I don't think it was here. In a way, it sounds like someone mourning the loss of his youth. It also sounds like someone lamenting a lost love they considered to be too immature. Or in a really disturbing turn, this sounds like it could also be a guy creeping on an underage boy. If pressed, I'd say that middle one seems the most likely. I enjoyed the language and tone of this one, but I'm just not clear on the meaning. It's free verse, but the stanzas are grouped by sentiment, and the individual lines are each complete thoughts, so I'm not left to wonder if I'm supposed to intuit something from where the line breaks are.

Good round overall. Most times, you get the inevitable joke entries or things put in on a lark, which of course is fine, but all three were pretty meaty and well executed enough this time.
#5 ·
Please tell me I'm not going to be the only one deciding who gets what medal. If it was a contest I'd set up with myself as the judge, that's one thing, but no for a general write-off. Maybe the authors have voted as well and just didn't leave reviews.
#6 · 1
· on Open End
I'm getting:

Mixed signals here same as >>Pascoite. With "open" in the title as well as in the first and third stanzas, I was looking toward that as a theme, but I'm not really finding it. How is it an "Open End" anyway? It seems rather closed and final to me by the time we get to the poem's last word. Maybe try to make the connotation behind "open" change as the poem progresses? It's a good thing at the beginning but a bad thing by the end?

#7 ·
· on Buyer's Remorse
The form:

Needs some work with that second-to-last line having extra syllables compared to the rest of the rondeau, and I'd like a little more after the noise climaxes to reinforce the silence implied in last line. But, yeah, things that go twang-brap-oom-pah-pah in the night...

#8 · 1
· on Fianchetto
I had to:

Google the title, but even after that, I'm not quite sure what image it's trying to convey. It does seem a little anti-climactic, too, with the narrator not having any real revelation about the experience or any explanation of why this one childhood dream stays. What is it about the imagery that makes it stick in the narrator's head?

#9 ·
· on Buyer's Remorse · >>Baal Bunny
A snap, a snip, a clip of clever verse
Upon the page; is meaning undispersed?
Or are the symbols logically condensed
And, 'gainst escape, with metered words enfenced,
Which makes my little comment much too terse,
A snip, a clip.
#10 · 1
· on Fianchetto
As I read the lineup,
the chess term hits my eye
and, like a presumptive pawn,
my gaze is taken en passant.
Post by GroaningGreyAgony , deleted
#12 · 1
· on Open End
Sharp rich aroma,
Dark brown beans now ground
As steaming water flows
Into the wide open cup,
Soon the java will be mine.
#13 ·
· on Open End
Why did I write this a fucking train wreck? Because I didn't write this for anyone else but myself. "Man among men yet still a boy" - college age person in their 20s verse me in their early 40s Just to clear that shit up before anyone gets more weird ideas.
#14 ·
· on Buyer's Remorse · >>Baal Bunny
This was my pick because it makes the most sense to me and I couldn't vote for my own work. It's kinda lame for me because I'm BLAH on home ownership and never worry about the big stuff. It's the little things that will kill and harm you from my warp perspective. It technical better than what I have but it has nothing that appeals to me drama wise and didn't draw me in.
Me, me and me.
#15 ·
· on Fianchetto
I fucking knew this was yours as soon as I read the the first four lines. (Yet I didn't do any guessing. Why? Didn't want to be rude like I am now.) It's written a bit better than Buyer's Remorse and much better than mine. I guess. Feels like a poem to me. Maybe I dumb shit down too much?
Anyhow - where is the escalation? Playing chess in a dream is not exciting. Chess is boring because it both players are thinking at least 2 or much more moves ahead. Dreams are too chaotic and non liner. Escalation is an order shitshow that you can follow the threads back to where it started. Therefore no escalation for me, me and me.
#16 ·
· on Buyer's Remorse

Thanks, folks!

If GGA is saying that the rondeau form might be too constrictive for the story being told here, I think I might agree--if that's not what you're saying, GGA, let me know. But I'd already gotten most of the way through it when it started looking like another line or two would help in the last stanza. Shoulda gone with a sonnet 'cause you can't go wrong with a sonnet! :)