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Power of Attorney
“Hey, Twilight, you mind signing something for me?” Rainbow Dash asked as she trotted into the main hall of Friendship Castle with a bundle of papers tucked under her wing. “The Wonderbolts said I had to get two other ponies to sign this. I figured you and Fluttershy would be as good as anypony.”
“What is it?” Twilight asked, even as she levitated the papers up in front of her face with her magic.
Rainbow Dash waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, no big deal. Something about if I get injured or whatever.”
Twilight’s eyes fastened on the large, bold text at the top of the document. “Power of attorney?”
“Yeah. You’re like, supposed to make medical decisions for me or whatever if I get knocked out or something,” Rainbow Dash said as she fished around in her saddlebag for a pen.
“I’m… really honored,” Twilight said, her voice quavering slightly. “But are you really sure you want me to do it for you? I mean, it’s an awfully big responsibility. Normally somepony in your family does it for you.”
“I figured you know a lot about that sort of stuff, like magic and science and medicine or whatever. You’d know what to do.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Twilight’s eyes flicked rapidly across the form before she turned the page. “Wait, so you want to be resuscitated under all circumstances?”
“Uh, duh?” Rainbow Dash said muffledly before spitting out a cheap, chewed-up pen onto the crystalline table. “I mean, why wouldn’t you? I don’t even get why they had to ask. Is anypony going to be like, ‘Nah, just let me bleed to death after I crash’?”
Twilight set the papers down carefully on the table. “Yes, this is about that. But under ordinary circumstances, the doctors would do their best to help you no matter what. Obviously, if there’s emergency care that’s needed, they aren’t even going to ask me for permission. This is for situations where you might not get better and somepony has to make a choice.”
“What do you mean? Like, if I lose a wing or something? Because I mean, you said that alternate timeline me had a totally awesome metal wing, and—”
“I mean if you crash into a mountain and suffer so much brain damage that you’ll be a vegetable for the rest of your life!”
Rainbow Dash stared. “What, you mean like, I got stuck in the ground or something? Wouldn’t they just like, pull you out by your tail?”
“It means when your brain gets turned to mush and you can’t ever really wake up!” Twilight pounded her hoof on the table. “You said here that you want life support even if the doctor doesn’t think there’s any chance of recovery. What if your brain was so badly damaged, that you’d never be you again, and could never talk, think, or eat on your own ever again?”
Rainbow Dash recoiled. “That can happen?”
“Yes,” Twilight said softly. “That’s why they make you sign this form.” She looked into her friend’s eyes. “The pony you give power of attorney to would have to choose whether or not the doctor was right, and whether or not you would want to be let go.”
“You mean die? I don’t want to die!” Rainbow Dash sprung up into the air, crossing her hooves across her chest.
“That’s your choice. But do you understand that if you were in that sort of state, you might never get better? You’d spend the rest of your life sitting in bed, unable to move, or think straight, or talk, locked inside your body, only barely aware of what was going on around you?”
“No way!” Rainbow Dash’s hooves cut through the air. “I’m sure that if that happened, you’d figure out some like, spell or something to fix me. I mean, you’d totally try and come up with a spell like that, right?” Rainbow Dash licked her lips. “Right?”
Twilight chewed on the inside of her cheek. “What if I couldn’t?”
“You’re Twilight Sparkle,” Rainbow Dash said, landing next to her and draping a wing over her withers. “Of course you’d come up with something.”
“But what if I couldn’t?”
Rainbow Dash stepped out in front of Twilight, looking her in the eyes. “C’mon. I trust you.”
Twilight’s eyes fell to the floor.
“So, uh, you going to sign it?”
Twilight stared at the floor for several long moments.
“Twilight?”
“Yes. I’ll sign.”
“What is it?” Twilight asked, even as she levitated the papers up in front of her face with her magic.
Rainbow Dash waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, no big deal. Something about if I get injured or whatever.”
Twilight’s eyes fastened on the large, bold text at the top of the document. “Power of attorney?”
“Yeah. You’re like, supposed to make medical decisions for me or whatever if I get knocked out or something,” Rainbow Dash said as she fished around in her saddlebag for a pen.
“I’m… really honored,” Twilight said, her voice quavering slightly. “But are you really sure you want me to do it for you? I mean, it’s an awfully big responsibility. Normally somepony in your family does it for you.”
“I figured you know a lot about that sort of stuff, like magic and science and medicine or whatever. You’d know what to do.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Twilight’s eyes flicked rapidly across the form before she turned the page. “Wait, so you want to be resuscitated under all circumstances?”
“Uh, duh?” Rainbow Dash said muffledly before spitting out a cheap, chewed-up pen onto the crystalline table. “I mean, why wouldn’t you? I don’t even get why they had to ask. Is anypony going to be like, ‘Nah, just let me bleed to death after I crash’?”
Twilight set the papers down carefully on the table. “Yes, this is about that. But under ordinary circumstances, the doctors would do their best to help you no matter what. Obviously, if there’s emergency care that’s needed, they aren’t even going to ask me for permission. This is for situations where you might not get better and somepony has to make a choice.”
“What do you mean? Like, if I lose a wing or something? Because I mean, you said that alternate timeline me had a totally awesome metal wing, and—”
“I mean if you crash into a mountain and suffer so much brain damage that you’ll be a vegetable for the rest of your life!”
Rainbow Dash stared. “What, you mean like, I got stuck in the ground or something? Wouldn’t they just like, pull you out by your tail?”
“It means when your brain gets turned to mush and you can’t ever really wake up!” Twilight pounded her hoof on the table. “You said here that you want life support even if the doctor doesn’t think there’s any chance of recovery. What if your brain was so badly damaged, that you’d never be you again, and could never talk, think, or eat on your own ever again?”
Rainbow Dash recoiled. “That can happen?”
“Yes,” Twilight said softly. “That’s why they make you sign this form.” She looked into her friend’s eyes. “The pony you give power of attorney to would have to choose whether or not the doctor was right, and whether or not you would want to be let go.”
“You mean die? I don’t want to die!” Rainbow Dash sprung up into the air, crossing her hooves across her chest.
“That’s your choice. But do you understand that if you were in that sort of state, you might never get better? You’d spend the rest of your life sitting in bed, unable to move, or think straight, or talk, locked inside your body, only barely aware of what was going on around you?”
“No way!” Rainbow Dash’s hooves cut through the air. “I’m sure that if that happened, you’d figure out some like, spell or something to fix me. I mean, you’d totally try and come up with a spell like that, right?” Rainbow Dash licked her lips. “Right?”
Twilight chewed on the inside of her cheek. “What if I couldn’t?”
“You’re Twilight Sparkle,” Rainbow Dash said, landing next to her and draping a wing over her withers. “Of course you’d come up with something.”
“But what if I couldn’t?”
Rainbow Dash stepped out in front of Twilight, looking her in the eyes. “C’mon. I trust you.”
Twilight’s eyes fell to the floor.
“So, uh, you going to sign it?”
Twilight stared at the floor for several long moments.
“Twilight?”
“Yes. I’ll sign.”
The topic feels a bit heavy for something this brief, though it is addressed succinctly and clearly. Yes, we have a funereal prompt, but this is a really weighty subject. My discomfort aside, it is a powerful character moment between these two. Nicely done there.
Also, there’s the matter of Twilight not knowing about Crystal War Dash’s prosthetic since she was never at the front, but that’s nitpicking something that isn’t anywhere near the point of the story.
Also, there’s the matter of Twilight not knowing about Crystal War Dash’s prosthetic since she was never at the front, but that’s nitpicking something that isn’t anywhere near the point of the story.
I feel it would be much better if this ended with Twilight still thinking about what to do. That will leave the reader wondering, which is where you want to leave them. The current ending is slightly too abrupt and doesn't give us insight into Twilight's thought process. The story you want to tell bears weight, and it's challenging to pull off well in 750 words.
For such a serious subject matter, that was pretty fun. I think the main character was Rainbow Dash, and her... uh, stubbornness. What can you even do but surrender to it? No matter if she's being stupid, I find it rather life-affirming. I think it could've ended a little stronger on the last line, to be less ambiguous (assuming I even interpreted the story the way the author intended)
Mane Six count (Don't mind me, I'm just curious as to how many times each of the Mane 6 appears):
Applejack: 5
Rainbow: 5
Pinkie: 3
Twilight: 3
Rarity: 2
Fluttershy: 1
Sunset: 1
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
This is a pretty touchy subject, and I'm not sure it's really handled well, to be honest. A bit too anivlicious for me, but that's possibly just personal taste.
On the plus side, Twilight's written pretty accurately here. And Rainbow... okay, I think Rainbow's just a little too dumb. But I'd say she's pretty accurate outside of a line or two (and she needed to be modified a little for the conflict to even exist).
Trick is absolutely right in that the ending would be better without the last paragraph. Or just made it "Twilight sighed." or something signifying she has a response, but not tell us what it is.
All in all, this didn't work for me.
Verdict: Misaimed.
Applejack: 5
Rainbow: 5
Pinkie: 3
Twilight: 3
Rarity: 2
Fluttershy: 1
Sunset: 1
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
This is a pretty touchy subject, and I'm not sure it's really handled well, to be honest. A bit too anivlicious for me, but that's possibly just personal taste.
On the plus side, Twilight's written pretty accurately here. And Rainbow... okay, I think Rainbow's just a little too dumb. But I'd say she's pretty accurate outside of a line or two (and she needed to be modified a little for the conflict to even exist).
Trick is absolutely right in that the ending would be better without the last paragraph. Or just made it "Twilight sighed." or something signifying she has a response, but not tell us what it is.
All in all, this didn't work for me.
Verdict: Misaimed.
This story is tied for the fewest number of reviews, and it's on my slate. Allons-y!
… And what I find is a story that's deceptively deep, for as flippant as Rainbow is being about the topic. It walks a tightrope balancing the borderline comedy of her ignorance with the sombreness of the real-world issues that Twilight brings up, but it works for me, and I think the major reason is the strong turn of the last few paragraphs. For as much as this story focuses on Dash, it's actually Twilight's conflict, and the Princess of Friendship being saddled with a maybe-impossible request in the name of friendship is a really juicy dilemma, and the way she deals with it is subtly tragic in a way that punched me in the gut without breaking the tone. Nice balancing act.
My major complaint here is that the core concepts feel overexplained — like Rainbow's being willfully ignorant, or maybe that Twilight's repeating herself. That central section could stand a little thinning. But it gets a thumbs-up from me on execution.
Tier: Top Contender
… And what I find is a story that's deceptively deep, for as flippant as Rainbow is being about the topic. It walks a tightrope balancing the borderline comedy of her ignorance with the sombreness of the real-world issues that Twilight brings up, but it works for me, and I think the major reason is the strong turn of the last few paragraphs. For as much as this story focuses on Dash, it's actually Twilight's conflict, and the Princess of Friendship being saddled with a maybe-impossible request in the name of friendship is a really juicy dilemma, and the way she deals with it is subtly tragic in a way that punched me in the gut without breaking the tone. Nice balancing act.
My major complaint here is that the core concepts feel overexplained — like Rainbow's being willfully ignorant, or maybe that Twilight's repeating herself. That central section could stand a little thinning. But it gets a thumbs-up from me on execution.
Tier: Top Contender
Rainbow's sheer unadulterated boneheadedness makes this for me. (Gaah, why am I digging all the Rainbow people are writing in this Writeoff?!)
>>Bugle said "anvilicious", and indeed that quality holds this back a bit for me. It's good but needs refinement.
>>Bugle said "anvilicious", and indeed that quality holds this back a bit for me. It's good but needs refinement.
I'm not finding a lot of subtle or nuanced examination beyond the obvious surface of the story, and Rainbow's not really clicking with me here. I think this is a case of the author confusing Rainbow's often shortsightedness for outright ignorance / stupidity, which are not the same thing. Twilight tries to explain something that should be pretty well known, especially to someone familiar with athletics and the possible risks of injury associated with them, and it just bounces off Rainbow's apparently too-thick skull over and over again without ever really sinking in. It leaves me feeling like there was something started in the way of a story, but as executed, there just weren't enough words inside the limit to get it to where it's really interesting. Don't despair, though, because this could easily be the basis of something to expand on after the writeoff, and with a little bit of adjustment, I think there's something worth exploring here.
Hmmm. A fairly serious topic for such a short little fic. Rainbow seems just a TAD denser than normal here.. But not horribly so. It's not badly written, or out of character or anything. It's just... It doesn't seem to go anywhere in particular. The final lines, with Twilight signing the paperwork, just doesn't carry much weight. I can't put y finger on it, but this story is lacking something... The conflict perhaps? There's no real debate here... Twilight explains what the paperwork means, Dash wants to live, and nothing is changed besides a bit of clarification.
I found Rainbow Dash's faith that Twilight would fix her interesting. I would have loved to see Twilight respond to that by explaining that she's not a doctor or medic. That there are ponies who, [i]right now[i], suffer from the fate that she's describing. And that if she had a spell that could fix that condition, she'd be out there right now saving ponies. Or at least teaching the spell to others.
And that if such a thing happened to Rainbow, she'd do her best to come up with a solution and fix her... But magic can't fix everything.
Still, there was nothing wrong with this story. It just seemed a little light is all. But not bad. :)
I found Rainbow Dash's faith that Twilight would fix her interesting. I would have loved to see Twilight respond to that by explaining that she's not a doctor or medic. That there are ponies who, [i]right now[i], suffer from the fate that she's describing. And that if she had a spell that could fix that condition, she'd be out there right now saving ponies. Or at least teaching the spell to others.
And that if such a thing happened to Rainbow, she'd do her best to come up with a solution and fix her... But magic can't fix everything.
Still, there was nothing wrong with this story. It just seemed a little light is all. But not bad. :)
>>Trick_Question
I definitely agree with the bit on the ending here. With this? Ambiguity probably serves better, and it's a bit much to cram into 750 words.
That said, for me the biggest issue was the wild mood swing Twilight has, or appears to have in
Like, everything is low-key, then she's suddenly flaring up and we have no leading indicator for that. She snaps too abruptly. This is where more words would really help, to allow the sense of building frustration to come through prior to her going off.
I definitely agree with the bit on the ending here. With this? Ambiguity probably serves better, and it's a bit much to cram into 750 words.
That said, for me the biggest issue was the wild mood swing Twilight has, or appears to have in
“It means when your brain gets turned to mush and you can’t ever really wake up!” Twilight pounded her hoof on the table.
Like, everything is low-key, then she's suddenly flaring up and we have no leading indicator for that. She snaps too abruptly. This is where more words would really help, to allow the sense of building frustration to come through prior to her going off.
Rainbow Dash comes to Twilight with papers to give her power of attorney over Rainbow Dash’s medical wishes in case something should happen to her during a Wonderbolts show or something and she’s unable to make medical decisions for herself.
I agree with Horizon’s view of this piece; this story is about Twilight’s conflict, not Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash knows what she wants, but Twilight is left carrying a heavy burden of responsibility for a pony who trusts her completely, totally, and implicitly, and who has pretty much just put the burden of “if I’m terribly injured, I know you’d magically heal me, right?” squarely on poor Twilight’s shoulders.
I liked this quite a bit, but I do agree with some other folks that this is a story I’d like to see expanded, so there’s more space for the emotional rollercoaster. That said, I do want to see it, and I was happy to see it here – I don’t really see these issues dealt with too much (the sadly apparently defunct Playing With My Heart being a rare exception) and I liked the idea here, as well as Rainbow Dash’s loyalty and trust putting a lot of unintentional strain on Twilight.
I agree with Horizon’s view of this piece; this story is about Twilight’s conflict, not Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash knows what she wants, but Twilight is left carrying a heavy burden of responsibility for a pony who trusts her completely, totally, and implicitly, and who has pretty much just put the burden of “if I’m terribly injured, I know you’d magically heal me, right?” squarely on poor Twilight’s shoulders.
I liked this quite a bit, but I do agree with some other folks that this is a story I’d like to see expanded, so there’s more space for the emotional rollercoaster. That said, I do want to see it, and I was happy to see it here – I don’t really see these issues dealt with too much (the sadly apparently defunct Playing With My Heart being a rare exception) and I liked the idea here, as well as Rainbow Dash’s loyalty and trust putting a lot of unintentional strain on Twilight.
>>Morning Sun
I didn't really mind Rainbow's reactions too much, but that was probably because I was bothered more with Twilight's escalation. But I do agree with others however that she does seem a bit too thick-headed.
I still like what you have though. It works for me.
everything is low-key, then she's suddenly flaring up and we have no leading indicator for that. She snaps too abruptlyI do like this story, but this was my biggest issue as well. Twilight's escalation needed a proper build-up. But I do like how we never really know if Twilight's frustrations are because of Rainbow's initial passiveness or her ignorance or just the weight of this new responsibility.
I didn't really mind Rainbow's reactions too much, but that was probably because I was bothered more with Twilight's escalation. But I do agree with others however that she does seem a bit too thick-headed.
I still like what you have though. It works for me.
I have to echo what >>Trick_Question said here. It would have been more powerful for me if the end was left open. Still, I thought this was great! Like others have said, Dash's ignorance on the subject matter was a bit hamfisted. But still, I loved the premise, and enjoyed how you pulled it off for the most part.