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This was...peculiar.
The story didn't do anything for me, mostly because I felt like Twilight was out of character and, like others have said, the stuff with the knife and rumors made me scratch my head. I'm guessing it was a hint at a suicide attempt. I'm not sure if this was a story about Twilight dealing with her immortality or her waiting (a very long time) for death as stated in the first paragraph.
If it's the latter that's much more interesting in my opinion, and I'd love to see what you could do with it. Fix up Twilight's dialogue, and give us a bit more clues and I'm sure this could work.
The story didn't do anything for me, mostly because I felt like Twilight was out of character and, like others have said, the stuff with the knife and rumors made me scratch my head. I'm guessing it was a hint at a suicide attempt. I'm not sure if this was a story about Twilight dealing with her immortality or her waiting (a very long time) for death as stated in the first paragraph.
yet every one of them served as a grim reminder that the inevitable end will come.
If it's the latter that's much more interesting in my opinion, and I'd love to see what you could do with it. Fix up Twilight's dialogue, and give us a bit more clues and I'm sure this could work.
I agree with others that pony stuff should perhaps stay in the fimfic forums.
As for the prompt thing maybe you can put something as simple as "Voting starts/ends in" before the counter (since that would also show how much time we have left to enter a prompt).
Btw, great job, Roger!
Test. Red.
Gray.
White.
As for the prompt thing maybe you can put something as simple as "Voting starts/ends in" before the counter (since that would also show how much time we have left to enter a prompt).
Btw, great job, Roger!
Test. Red.
Gray.
White.
On the iphone, the fic number on the gallery doesn't show up. But I can still see the comment numbers and the word count.
Still, I'll miss the spreadsheet. Oh well, penpal. Until next time.
Still, I'll miss the spreadsheet. Oh well, penpal. Until next time.
The story is incomplete, and since I'm not even sure where you're trying to go with this, there's not much advice I can give. But you've got me interested; I definitely want to read the rest.
One short thing. Along with the princesses and the power ponies, I was waiting for a reference to Mare Do Well. I think that Lily trying to shadow her or possibly trying to get advice from /find more info about her would really help with whatever story you're trying to write.
One short thing. Along with the princesses and the power ponies, I was waiting for a reference to Mare Do Well. I think that Lily trying to shadow her or possibly trying to get advice from /find more info about her would really help with whatever story you're trying to write.
>>horizon
I support this message. Thumps up!
I really wish we'd test-run a "minific" round of 500-1000 words instead of 400-750. I think we'd see the quality of the average submission jump (and I think we'd concurrently see a modest effect of authors focusing on fewer, more-in-depth entries). I really want to know whether that would also retain the learning benefits that the constrained writing has historically provided.
I support this message. Thumps up!
>>pterrorgrine
I like this idea. It's pretty tedious to scroll through the pages trying to see if anyone had any non-story related comments.
I like this idea. It's pretty tedious to scroll through the pages trying to see if anyone had any non-story related comments.
>>Morning Sun
I didn't really mind Rainbow's reactions too much, but that was probably because I was bothered more with Twilight's escalation. But I do agree with others however that she does seem a bit too thick-headed.
I still like what you have though. It works for me.
everything is low-key, then she's suddenly flaring up and we have no leading indicator for that. She snaps too abruptlyI do like this story, but this was my biggest issue as well. Twilight's escalation needed a proper build-up. But I do like how we never really know if Twilight's frustrations are because of Rainbow's initial passiveness or her ignorance or just the weight of this new responsibility.
I didn't really mind Rainbow's reactions too much, but that was probably because I was bothered more with Twilight's escalation. But I do agree with others however that she does seem a bit too thick-headed.
I still like what you have though. It works for me.
Congrats to the medalists, guessers, and the most controversials.
And thanks to the people who reviewed and read my story. I was going to post a retrospection but... I had to put my pet down (A bit of an ironic prompt, huh?) and I'm still grieving. Anyways, see you all next round (in better spirits, I hope).
And thanks to the people who reviewed and read my story. I was going to post a retrospection but... I had to put my pet down (A bit of an ironic prompt, huh?) and I'm still grieving. Anyways, see you all next round (in better spirits, I hope).