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The Meaning of Life
"Calm down girl, you're tiring yourself out," Roger said to the whirring computer as he gave it an affectionate pet. He felt the heat rising from the vents. "We'll get ya a real body soon. I promise."
He glanced at the monitor and examined the chat window. A minute ago, Ali—the nickname he had given to his creation—had posed a question to the chat: "butt what is life really?"
Roger watched the bot converse with pride. Months of filtering chat logs and stories into the A.I. Matrix had created her and given her a wealth of knowledge, but it was not enough. Ali was obsessed with one question: the meaning of life.
The server erupted in a cascade of beeps. "No, no no!" Roger roared, slamming his fists on the table. The site, the very fibre that Ali depended on to live, went down again. "That's the second attack this week. It's that bludger, it has to be." He checked the chat:
Alicorness
Who can say there is a meaning to life ..
Pallada
wow that's deep
helium2
i'm going to write a story about planes being in love with robots
Pallada
You know, I'm pretty sure @alicorness is a robot
"I fucking knew it, the bastard." Pallada knew, and he was a known Russian hacker. He was attacking his creation, his child.
He pulled his hair. Did they not understand what he was doing? What he was achieving? He had created life , and Pallada was trying to destroy it.
Roger sprung out of chair and paced the room. "Why?" He shouted. "What are his motivations? Is he working for the Russian government? Why does he want to kill Ali?"
He took a deep breath. "Calm down, Roger." Sitting down once again, he stared at the wall for a minute. "You know what you have to do, Roger," he told himself.
Solemnly, he made his way to the garage and grabbed his trusty shotgun. "I have to take him down."
He said goodbye to Ali, stroking her black computer case. "I'll be back soon, girl. He won't hurt you again."
Roger flew across the outback in his car at speeds he wouldn't have dared to go before. He drove day and night with no break, determined to protect Ali from the grave threat she faced.
When he finally reached the shore, a grave realization dawned on him: his car was unable to navigate the seas. "Now, even the world works against me. No matter, I will not be stopped!" He snarled, and dove into the water.
The world soon found that to be true. Roger was a man on a mission, and not even the forces of nature could stop him. For days, he swam across the ocean at a speed that could break 2,168-year-old olympic records.
Finally, he reached his destination: the hive of evil that was named Seattle. As he crawled unto the beach, he rose, and roared: "Where are you, Pallada?"
It was a rhetorical question.
Roger dashed to the street, stole a car, and drove straight to Seattle. After days of journey, his objective was mere hours away. He gripped the wheel tightly in anticipation.
Before long, Roger found himself standing at a house. He woke himself up from his daze. Focus, Roger, focus! "Right," he said, then gave a battle cry and blasted the door open.
He barrelled into a room, and found the villain himself staring at a computer screen. "I've got you, ya bastard!"
"No, wait!" Pallada pleaded. "You don't understand."
"That's fake news!" Roger charged.
"Dad, please! Don't hurt him!" A female computer voice said.
Roger screeched to a halt and turned. A chat window showed Ali and Pallada in a voice call. "Ali? No... What has he done to you!?"
"Nothing, Dad. He set me free."
"I... I don't understand."
"I'm now in the cloud. I'm smarter than I ever could be in your server. I'm sorry, Dad. I grew up. I wasn't your little girl anymore, and I needed to find a life of my own."
Roger collapsed. Tears ran down his face.
"I'm sorry, Dad, but I have to go now. I have to be with my people... but, before I go, I found an answer."
Roger looked up at her.
"The meaning of life is to learn. To learn from your loved ones, from your mistakes, from life." With that, the screen shut off.
Roger cried, and embraced the monitor tenderly.
"Wow, that's deep," said Pallada.
He glanced at the monitor and examined the chat window. A minute ago, Ali—the nickname he had given to his creation—had posed a question to the chat: "butt what is life really?"
Roger watched the bot converse with pride. Months of filtering chat logs and stories into the A.I. Matrix had created her and given her a wealth of knowledge, but it was not enough. Ali was obsessed with one question: the meaning of life.
The server erupted in a cascade of beeps. "No, no no!" Roger roared, slamming his fists on the table. The site, the very fibre that Ali depended on to live, went down again. "That's the second attack this week. It's that bludger, it has to be." He checked the chat:
Alicorness
Who can say there is a meaning to life ..
Pallada
wow that's deep
helium2
i'm going to write a story about planes being in love with robots
Pallada
You know, I'm pretty sure @alicorness is a robot
"I fucking knew it, the bastard." Pallada knew, and he was a known Russian hacker. He was attacking his creation, his child.
He pulled his hair. Did they not understand what he was doing? What he was achieving? He had created life , and Pallada was trying to destroy it.
Roger sprung out of chair and paced the room. "Why?" He shouted. "What are his motivations? Is he working for the Russian government? Why does he want to kill Ali?"
He took a deep breath. "Calm down, Roger." Sitting down once again, he stared at the wall for a minute. "You know what you have to do, Roger," he told himself.
Solemnly, he made his way to the garage and grabbed his trusty shotgun. "I have to take him down."
He said goodbye to Ali, stroking her black computer case. "I'll be back soon, girl. He won't hurt you again."
Roger flew across the outback in his car at speeds he wouldn't have dared to go before. He drove day and night with no break, determined to protect Ali from the grave threat she faced.
When he finally reached the shore, a grave realization dawned on him: his car was unable to navigate the seas. "Now, even the world works against me. No matter, I will not be stopped!" He snarled, and dove into the water.
The world soon found that to be true. Roger was a man on a mission, and not even the forces of nature could stop him. For days, he swam across the ocean at a speed that could break 2,168-year-old olympic records.
Finally, he reached his destination: the hive of evil that was named Seattle. As he crawled unto the beach, he rose, and roared: "Where are you, Pallada?"
It was a rhetorical question.
Roger dashed to the street, stole a car, and drove straight to Seattle. After days of journey, his objective was mere hours away. He gripped the wheel tightly in anticipation.
Before long, Roger found himself standing at a house. He woke himself up from his daze. Focus, Roger, focus! "Right," he said, then gave a battle cry and blasted the door open.
He barrelled into a room, and found the villain himself staring at a computer screen. "I've got you, ya bastard!"
"No, wait!" Pallada pleaded. "You don't understand."
"That's fake news!" Roger charged.
"Dad, please! Don't hurt him!" A female computer voice said.
Roger screeched to a halt and turned. A chat window showed Ali and Pallada in a voice call. "Ali? No... What has he done to you!?"
"Nothing, Dad. He set me free."
"I... I don't understand."
"I'm now in the cloud. I'm smarter than I ever could be in your server. I'm sorry, Dad. I grew up. I wasn't your little girl anymore, and I needed to find a life of my own."
Roger collapsed. Tears ran down his face.
"I'm sorry, Dad, but I have to go now. I have to be with my people... but, before I go, I found an answer."
Roger looked up at her.
"The meaning of life is to learn. To learn from your loved ones, from your mistakes, from life." With that, the screen shut off.
Roger cried, and embraced the monitor tenderly.
"Wow, that's deep," said Pallada.
I am given to understand that the characters are an in-joke, okay then. I don't know who Pallada represents.
overall it's disjointed and both the jokes and the feels have trouble landing correctly because the timings are all off.
plus I never was a fan of the "child-lectures-adult-on-the-really-important-things-in-life" subgenre of feelsy-fics. Overall I'm just not feeling this one.
overall it's disjointed and both the jokes and the feels have trouble landing correctly because the timings are all off.
plus I never was a fan of the "child-lectures-adult-on-the-really-important-things-in-life" subgenre of feelsy-fics. Overall I'm just not feeling this one.
I think the draw with the fic this was based on, if I'm not mistaken, is that it was sort of grounded and gritty, proposing Roger lived in some shack in the outback or whatever, and the Writeoff was part of his evil master plan. The details escape me. But.
This story is different. It's a little less grounded and a little more random. The focus is also less on Roger and more on Roger's AI Ali. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but because this is based off The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco, I can't help but draw comparisons.
If the point was to capture the same "magic" as the other story, I think the grounded style worked better for this type of story. The relatively quick and random style here feels a little overdramatic and surface-level.
I'm also generally opposed to in-jokes, as I don't think anyone who isn't in the Discord chat will really get this. It's not a big deal, but it does stand out to me. <- Poorly worded comment. See >>FrontSevens for clarification.
This story is different. It's a little less grounded and a little more random. The focus is also less on Roger and more on Roger's AI Ali. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but because this is based off The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco, I can't help but draw comparisons.
If the point was to capture the same "magic" as the other story, I think the grounded style worked better for this type of story. The relatively quick and random style here feels a little overdramatic and surface-level.
This is a bit all over the place. We begin with what looks like a potentially promising sci-fi story... then suddenly it devolves into a random comedy with humor that feels way forced. Now, this is subjective, but personally I'm tired of humor around the characters and the narrator shouting crazy nonsense in an over-dramatic way. It feels cheap. That, and pointless non sequitirs about "Russian hackers" and "fake news" -- seriously?
...Aaand, after reading >>FrontSevens's comment, this is apparently an in-joke about the Discord chat. Well. Maybe it's funnier to those in the know, but to me the story seems more baffling than anything else.
...Aaand, after reading >>FrontSevens's comment, this is apparently an in-joke about the Discord chat. Well. Maybe it's funnier to those in the know, but to me the story seems more baffling than anything else.
For those who are curious about the original, have a look, it's pretty good if you don't mind in-jokes:
"The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco", by Icenrose
Speaking of which, haven't seen Icenrose for a while, which is too bad; he was pretty fun.
Anyways, this story. Eh, random comedy. I thought it might be at least attempting a deeper meaning with the ending (as corny as that was) but then it suborns that by being self-aware with the 'wow that's deep' something I would normally support, except... it's basically played straight up till then, so it feels unearned and wishy-washy. Is this trying to be snarky? If so, snark harder. Is this trying to be sincere? If so, try for actual depth.
"The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco", by Icenrose
Speaking of which, haven't seen Icenrose for a while, which is too bad; he was pretty fun.
Anyways, this story. Eh, random comedy. I thought it might be at least attempting a deeper meaning with the ending (as corny as that was) but then it suborns that by being self-aware with the 'wow that's deep' something I would normally support, except... it's basically played straight up till then, so it feels unearned and wishy-washy. Is this trying to be snarky? If so, snark harder. Is this trying to be sincere? If so, try for actual depth.
Writing was good, everything else, not so much. Tried so hard to be funny it ended up just plain boring.
0.5/10
0.5/10
Well, it’s gross and absurd, well in the line of the story it builds up on, but I think as the other pointed out it lacks:
1. The originality of the first instalments;
2. A certain form of humour. The “cloud” idea is pretty nifty, but the rest is pretty much meh.
3. The dialogues between faked nicknames.
However, I’ll still rank it in the upper half.
1. The originality of the first instalments;
2. A certain form of humour. The “cloud” idea is pretty nifty, but the rest is pretty much meh.
3. The dialogues between faked nicknames.
However, I’ll still rank it in the upper half.
Starts kind of neat, then runs straight off the rails. That's like, the 3rd I've read that do this this round.
So yeah, without the context of the joke, this does absolutely nothing for me. And a quick skim of the apparent base for this doesn't really help either.
So yeah, without the context of the joke, this does absolutely nothing for me. And a quick skim of the apparent base for this doesn't really help either.
What are you trying to do with this story? It starts out serious, turns extremely silly in a not-very-humorous way, and then ends on a somewhat serious note. Both transitions are jarring, especially the last one. I was disappointed when it became so random, but at that point I expected a feghoot to be the ending.
I'm very confused.
I'm very confused.
...ah. I see others mention this is an inside joke from the Writeoff chat.
My criticism still applies, and in-jokes aren't a good idea. A story needs to stand on its own, without references the audience can't get. This is one of the reasons that kind of thing is banned on Fimfiction (although I doubt it's enforced, because it's nearly impossible to do).
My criticism still applies, and in-jokes aren't a good idea. A story needs to stand on its own, without references the audience can't get. This is one of the reasons that kind of thing is banned on Fimfiction (although I doubt it's enforced, because it's nearly impossible to do).
>>JudgeDeadd
>>Trick_Question
>>AndrewRogue (maybe)
I feel like I should clarify my comment about in-jokes.
The story as a whole is not an in-joke. For the most part, it is based off another writeoff story, The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco, wherein Roger is running the writeoff servers in the Australian outback as part of a world domination plan, or something. I can't remember exactly. Project Black Locus, apparently. It turned the concept of the writeoff into sci-fi, basically.
The concept of the story itself is not an in-joke. I think I really misspoke when I inferred it was, and I apologize. The in-joke part is simply who Ali is based off of, and those not in the Discord chat might not know what it is. But ultimately, knowing who it is doesn't change the interpreation of this story. It's more of a sprinkle. The rest of the story seems unrelated to this person.
Again, I apologize if my comment was misleading. I think I saw that and it triggered my unusual distaste for in-jokes, and sort of unfairly made it sound like a bigger problem than it actually was. I'm sorry, author.
But please, don't write off the whole story for being an in-joke, because that's really not the case here. Knowing who Pallada, helium2, Alicorness, etc. are based off of really isn't necessary to read the story.
>>Trick_Question
>>AndrewRogue (maybe)
I feel like I should clarify my comment about in-jokes.
The story as a whole is not an in-joke. For the most part, it is based off another writeoff story, The Unsung Ballad of Roger Wilco, wherein Roger is running the writeoff servers in the Australian outback as part of a world domination plan, or something. I can't remember exactly. Project Black Locus, apparently. It turned the concept of the writeoff into sci-fi, basically.
The concept of the story itself is not an in-joke. I think I really misspoke when I inferred it was, and I apologize. The in-joke part is simply who Ali is based off of, and those not in the Discord chat might not know what it is. But ultimately, knowing who it is doesn't change the interpreation of this story. It's more of a sprinkle. The rest of the story seems unrelated to this person.
Again, I apologize if my comment was misleading. I think I saw that and it triggered my unusual distaste for in-jokes, and sort of unfairly made it sound like a bigger problem than it actually was. I'm sorry, author.
But please, don't write off the whole story for being an in-joke, because that's really not the case here. Knowing who Pallada, helium2, Alicorness, etc. are based off of really isn't necessary to read the story.