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The Player and the Game
“Knock knock!” Rarity stuck her head through the crystal library doorway without actually knocking. “Twilight?”
“Over here!”
Rarity found Twilight Sparkle at a low table near the library’s fiction section. She had a jade chess board, and was setting out the pieces as Rarity approached.
“Playing a game?” Rarity took the opposite seat.
“Well, that depends on my guest.” Twilight gave her a hidden smile and spun the board to present the white pieces to Rarity.
“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Rarity contemplated the pieces, then slid her king’s pawn two spaces forward. “Nostalgic?”
“Inspired, actually.” Twilight matched her move. “When I saw how much fun Spike and Big Macintosh had playing with Discord, I knew I had to try it.”
“Board games?” She advanced her queen’s pawn one space, forming a rank.
Twilight matched her move again. “Magic board games.”
Rarity had been about to leapfrog her knight, an armored pegasus, into the center of the board, but now she paused. “Magic?”
“Yes. I was inspired.”
None of this seemed like magic. Rarity glanced at Twilight, then shrugged and jumped her knight into the fray.
Outside, distant thunder boomed, rattling the windowpanes. Rarity started and turned to stare at the bright sunlight pouring through the curtains.
“Uh, Twilight…”
Twilight’s smile grew. “It’s just a game, Rarity.” She moved a knight beside her queen’s pawn. Outside, the clear skies filled with clouds. They spun in a wide, dark gyre over the town, and rain began to lash the windows.
“Ahem, of course.” Rarity swallowed her doubts. “Just a game.”
The next few moves were inconsequential – pawns jockeyed for position and formed serried ranks. But that opened the path for Rarity’s bishop – a marble unicorn mage – to advance, and she lanced forward with it to harry Twilight’s knight.
The light dimmed. Gas lamps along the walls turned on automatically. Rarity looked outside to see the sun in glimpses between the rotating clouds. It climbed down from the sky toward the east horizon.
“Aggressive,” Twilight mumbled. She moved her bishop to defend the knight, and the sun froze just above the mountains.
“Well, you know me.” Rarity cleared her throat and slid a pawn forward, opening her front ranks. “Twilight, what have you done?”
“Just a spell is all. It’s harmless.” Here she picked up king and rook, and castled them.
Rarity was seized with a sudden sense of vertigo, of incredible velocity, though nothing in the library budged. The view out the window became a sickening blur, and when it resolved she saw not Ponyville but the dry, moonscape desert outside Appleloosa.
Rarity lost a rook, and the castle walls crumbled, exposing the room to the stars. She castled herself, and they landed in a snowy pine forest bedecked in night. Overhead, a huge, leering moon beat the sun into submission.
Finally, many moves and lost pieces later, Twilight selected her queen. Unseen trumpets filled the air with brassy peels as she advanced it into the fight.
Rarity swallowed. “Twilight… Princess… is this safe?”
Twilight’s smile stretched into a grin. She grew taller, her mane shifting across a dark rainbow of hues into an airy nebula. Her muzzle lengthened, elegant and thin as Celestia’s. Long diamond fangs peeked out beneath her lips.
“There are no princesses in chess,” Twilight’s voice was filled with snakes. “Only queens.”
Rarity met Twilight’s queen with her own. She felt herself swell with power. Enormous bat wings sprouted from her back. Her horn evolved into a wicked spire.
They traded bishops, and the sky burned with falling comets. She lost her other rook, and the rest of the castle fell away, leaving only the two queens and their table atop a tall chimney of rock.
Finally, disaster. Rarity lost her queen to a hidden fork. Overhead, the moon cracked and broke apart. Bells sounded defeat.
But… Rarity smiled. Down to the last of her pawns, she maneuvered her king onto a special square. One from which it had no escape. The world grew still around them, the very air freezing as the game ended.
Stalemate.
And then she blinked, and they were back in the castle in sunny Ponyville. Twilight – Princess Twilight – beamed at her from across the board.
“Good game, Rarity.” She started collecting the pieces. “We’ll have to play again sometime.”
“Mm.” Rarity gazed out the window. In the distance, she saw the pennants flying from her boutique, where a dozen orders still awaited her hoof.
“How about now?”
“Over here!”
Rarity found Twilight Sparkle at a low table near the library’s fiction section. She had a jade chess board, and was setting out the pieces as Rarity approached.
“Playing a game?” Rarity took the opposite seat.
“Well, that depends on my guest.” Twilight gave her a hidden smile and spun the board to present the white pieces to Rarity.
“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Rarity contemplated the pieces, then slid her king’s pawn two spaces forward. “Nostalgic?”
“Inspired, actually.” Twilight matched her move. “When I saw how much fun Spike and Big Macintosh had playing with Discord, I knew I had to try it.”
“Board games?” She advanced her queen’s pawn one space, forming a rank.
Twilight matched her move again. “Magic board games.”
Rarity had been about to leapfrog her knight, an armored pegasus, into the center of the board, but now she paused. “Magic?”
“Yes. I was inspired.”
None of this seemed like magic. Rarity glanced at Twilight, then shrugged and jumped her knight into the fray.
Outside, distant thunder boomed, rattling the windowpanes. Rarity started and turned to stare at the bright sunlight pouring through the curtains.
“Uh, Twilight…”
Twilight’s smile grew. “It’s just a game, Rarity.” She moved a knight beside her queen’s pawn. Outside, the clear skies filled with clouds. They spun in a wide, dark gyre over the town, and rain began to lash the windows.
“Ahem, of course.” Rarity swallowed her doubts. “Just a game.”
The next few moves were inconsequential – pawns jockeyed for position and formed serried ranks. But that opened the path for Rarity’s bishop – a marble unicorn mage – to advance, and she lanced forward with it to harry Twilight’s knight.
The light dimmed. Gas lamps along the walls turned on automatically. Rarity looked outside to see the sun in glimpses between the rotating clouds. It climbed down from the sky toward the east horizon.
“Aggressive,” Twilight mumbled. She moved her bishop to defend the knight, and the sun froze just above the mountains.
“Well, you know me.” Rarity cleared her throat and slid a pawn forward, opening her front ranks. “Twilight, what have you done?”
“Just a spell is all. It’s harmless.” Here she picked up king and rook, and castled them.
Rarity was seized with a sudden sense of vertigo, of incredible velocity, though nothing in the library budged. The view out the window became a sickening blur, and when it resolved she saw not Ponyville but the dry, moonscape desert outside Appleloosa.
Rarity lost a rook, and the castle walls crumbled, exposing the room to the stars. She castled herself, and they landed in a snowy pine forest bedecked in night. Overhead, a huge, leering moon beat the sun into submission.
Finally, many moves and lost pieces later, Twilight selected her queen. Unseen trumpets filled the air with brassy peels as she advanced it into the fight.
Rarity swallowed. “Twilight… Princess… is this safe?”
Twilight’s smile stretched into a grin. She grew taller, her mane shifting across a dark rainbow of hues into an airy nebula. Her muzzle lengthened, elegant and thin as Celestia’s. Long diamond fangs peeked out beneath her lips.
“There are no princesses in chess,” Twilight’s voice was filled with snakes. “Only queens.”
Rarity met Twilight’s queen with her own. She felt herself swell with power. Enormous bat wings sprouted from her back. Her horn evolved into a wicked spire.
They traded bishops, and the sky burned with falling comets. She lost her other rook, and the rest of the castle fell away, leaving only the two queens and their table atop a tall chimney of rock.
Finally, disaster. Rarity lost her queen to a hidden fork. Overhead, the moon cracked and broke apart. Bells sounded defeat.
But… Rarity smiled. Down to the last of her pawns, she maneuvered her king onto a special square. One from which it had no escape. The world grew still around them, the very air freezing as the game ended.
Stalemate.
And then she blinked, and they were back in the castle in sunny Ponyville. Twilight – Princess Twilight – beamed at her from across the board.
“Good game, Rarity.” She started collecting the pieces. “We’ll have to play again sometime.”
“Mm.” Rarity gazed out the window. In the distance, she saw the pennants flying from her boutique, where a dozen orders still awaited her hoof.
“How about now?”
A beautiful bit of description porn… but that’s pretty much it. Don’t get me wrong, this is some exquisite language. The problem is there’s no actual story to it, no consequences. A tale full of sound and fury, signifying board games (though clearly not told by an idiot.) Everything worked out exactly as Twilight promised, and while this was a thrilling read, it was an anticlimactic one nonetheless.
On the whole, I like it. It reminds me of the opening cinematic to Age of Empires II. I’d like to see where things go from this point. Twilight says it’s just a game, but did it just add extra pennants to Carousel Boutique? Will Rarity’s fortune start to change from playing this game, if only from what it does to her mind?
Very gorgeously described—you certainly have a knack for beautiful scenery and descriptions. author. It didn't ever cross into the domain of purple prose either, which can be a tough line to walk. That said, without those descriptions, it's really just a blasé game of chess between friends, so not really a story at all.
Nice link to the prompt, though!
Nice link to the prompt, though!
I agree with the positives already pointed out by my illustrious colleagues. Good, solid writing, beautiful images and engaging prose.
I really don't think that you need more of a story in the classical sense here, but it would be nice if we could learn something about the players through their style. It is an old trope, but nonetheless if you make their moves distinct enough it can become an interesting character piece.
I really don't think that you need more of a story in the classical sense here, but it would be nice if we could learn something about the players through their style. It is an old trope, but nonetheless if you make their moves distinct enough it can become an interesting character piece.
Quiet an enjoyable read. Rarity and Twilight are well-defined, with witty repartee. I liked the emotions and nuance they exhibited. Overall I'm strongly reminded of Cold in Gardez's 'Shall I Compare Thee'.
The writing was clean; the only nit I recall was the 'she castled herself' line being ambiguous. Eminently forgivable in a writeoff. I liked the descriptions, in particular their transformations into Ailicorn forms was evocative.
I don't have much in the way of advice for this one; while not world-shattering plotwise, this was a solid romp, and I would totally play a game with that chess set.
The writing was clean; the only nit I recall was the 'she castled herself' line being ambiguous. Eminently forgivable in a writeoff. I liked the descriptions, in particular their transformations into Ailicorn forms was evocative.
I don't have much in the way of advice for this one; while not world-shattering plotwise, this was a solid romp, and I would totally play a game with that chess set.
>>Caliaponia
"Castling" in a move in chess in which the king and either rook may move several spaces towards each other, essentially swapping their positions. It is the only move in chess where you can move two pieces at once, and is only allowed as the first move of either piece. The idea behind castling is that it opens up your rook to move out offensively while shielding your king behind a row of pawns.
And since this comment inflated the review count, expect my thoughts in a minute.
"Castling" in a move in chess in which the king and either rook may move several spaces towards each other, essentially swapping their positions. It is the only move in chess where you can move two pieces at once, and is only allowed as the first move of either piece. The idea behind castling is that it opens up your rook to move out offensively while shielding your king behind a row of pawns.
And since this comment inflated the review count, expect my thoughts in a minute.
The prose is evocative, but I'm having trouble connecting with this one because there's not a whole lot of substance. The reason why chess games are such a common trope in fiction is because they can say a lot about the players through how they play. But this piece actually kinda does the opposite, by recasting Twilight and Rarity as dark versions of themselves.
In the end, we're not really learning anything about our characters or our setting. I find myself comparing this to stereotypical summer blockbuster films—definitely fun to behold, but without a lot of food for thought.
In the end, we're not really learning anything about our characters or our setting. I find myself comparing this to stereotypical summer blockbuster films—definitely fun to behold, but without a lot of food for thought.
>>Caliaponia
>>Bachiavellian
More technically, "castling" involves the king moving two squares toward a rook, and the rook moving to the square next to the king on the opposite side from where it began. The major stipulations are:
1) The king cannot be in check, move into check, or move through check when castling,
2) The king must be moved first (casual players rarely, if ever, enforce this rule... but if you pick up the rook first, then placing the rook is considered your move),
3) There cannot be any pieces between your king and rook,
4) Neither king nor rook may have been moved prior to castling,
and my personal favorite rule in chess...
5) Both king and rook must be on the same rank when castling.
>>Bachiavellian
More technically, "castling" involves the king moving two squares toward a rook, and the rook moving to the square next to the king on the opposite side from where it began. The major stipulations are:
1) The king cannot be in check, move into check, or move through check when castling,
2) The king must be moved first (casual players rarely, if ever, enforce this rule... but if you pick up the rook first, then placing the rook is considered your move),
3) There cannot be any pieces between your king and rook,
4) Neither king nor rook may have been moved prior to castling,
and my personal favorite rule in chess...
5) Both king and rook must be on the same rank when castling.
>>Chris
Aw, they need to repeal that rule. Vertical castling is the best thing I've heard of in months.
Anyways, it's good to see you around here again. :D
Aw, they need to repeal that rule. Vertical castling is the best thing I've heard of in months.
Anyways, it's good to see you around here again. :D
>>Bachiavellian
Personally, I think there's no greater honor than to be so far outside-the-box that your activity's governing body has to come up with a new rule specifically to stop you; this is why Sean Avery is my improbable hockey hero (just google up "Sean Avery Rule;" the tl;dr version is that he found a new, highly annoying way to screen the goalie, which the league deemed unsportsmanlike enough that they amended the sport's rules in the middle of a playoff series).
And it's nice to be around here again!
Personally, I think there's no greater honor than to be so far outside-the-box that your activity's governing body has to come up with a new rule specifically to stop you; this is why Sean Avery is my improbable hockey hero (just google up "Sean Avery Rule;" the tl;dr version is that he found a new, highly annoying way to screen the goalie, which the league deemed unsportsmanlike enough that they amended the sport's rules in the middle of a playoff series).
And it's nice to be around here again!
Well, I don't think there's anything for me to say that hasn't already been said. Excellent writing and vivid imagery... But in the end, it builds up to... nothing much. It's got too much excitement and energy to fit in as Slice of Life, but that's more or less what it is. Still entertaining though, and very well written!
This is evocative, but weightless. I did like your descriptions, but I'd like to see the actual consequences here, how it really impacted Rarity on a personal level, something to care about.
Still, it was fun.
Oh, and you bring up the Queens in chess. I feel like Rarity might be interested in Kings, too...
Still, it was fun.
Oh, and you bring up the Queens in chess. I feel like Rarity might be interested in Kings, too...